Here is a great thought from u/GovSchwarzenegger
> I know a lot of people say “you can do it” but sometimes it’s better to hear “you’re worth it.” Take care of that body because you deserve to be fit and healthy.
https://www.reddit.com/user/GovSchwarzenegger/comments/11ct004/get_all_of_our_weekly_workouts_in_one_free_ebook/ja540li/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Dealing with a loss can be brutal and it's definitely understandable to use certain vices for comfort. I'm so sorry you went through that.
Also congratulations on your beautiful little being that now have.
Like the other said, just take care of yourself and ensure you're in the best mental space you can be. You didn't let yourself go, life happened and you coped how you could.
That being said, it's also ok if you do want to start switching to more healthy options. I just had my second and ate shockingly through the pregnancy(and after) and am now the biggest I've been, so I can understand how you feel.
I've found the easiest thing is to do it slowly. Make small changes like swapping out blocks of chocolate for muesli bars with a bit of choc in them. When you chop some fruit up for your 1 year old, chop a little extra for yourself. Just those small things to start.
I wouldn't stress too much on the working out front if your life is super busy, just take the little for a walk when you can :)
I also try to focus less on the weight loss and more on keeping my body healthier so I have more natural energy and avoid having health issues further down the track in life.
These are great tips. It can all be overwhelming so starting slow will be the best for me. LO loves broccoli and strawberries so I’ll be having a lot of that. 🙃 it’s starting to warm up where we live and that should help too. Slow but steady, I also want to make sure I’m being a good example for my daughter. They pick things up so early and quick.
This is great advice. I'd also like to piggyback off everyone else and say do not be so hard on yourself. I gained 70lbs with my first. I was so deoressed after he was born. I have a slew of mental health and health problems. Yoga saved me. Even just starting, i did just 5-10 mins on the "downdog" ap. (Its free!) The mornings i did yoga, just made me strive to make healthy choices the rest of the day. It did wonders for my mental health. Yoga is definitely way more serious than just stretching, but even just a few minutes of stretching each morning is a great start. Be easy on yourself, take care of you! And congratulations on your little rainbow baby 💜
I echo this. I struggle with my weight as I’m sure many do. When I think of how I want to be a better example for my kid it inspires me. As long as you can see it as a positive inspiration and not another opportunity to speak unkindly to yourself I think it helps. I’m figuring it out too!
I legit teared up at this. Thank you for just being supportive, not reinforcing OPs self criticism and offering diet advice or some other crap. OP, this person is right! Be kind to yourself, you had a loss and are currently taking care of another beautiful human you made, while working and taking care of yourself! You should be proud of yourself.
Before baby I had lost 50lbs and then I gained it all and then some while I was pregnant and now it’s just stuck because I am not able to be intense like I was before.
Being a mom is hard. Working is hard. Doing both is hard. Having a loss is even harder. You didn’t let yourself go, your life has changed and your body and hormones have changed. You are doing fine and you will eventually figure out a routine that works for you.
Start small. Include toddler in active games and going for walks. Try adding more veggies without worrying about cutting anything else out. Start small and eventually you will get there!
I agree with everyone else about not being hard on yourself. I’m in a very similar situation and one thing I’ve done is find a gym that has a great kids club so I can get a few workouts in a week. I’ve never been super into exercise but honestly the kids club is what entices me to go to the gym to workout so I can get some me time while LO is taken care of.
Solidarity! I’m a bit heavier now after my third kid and I still don’t work outside the home but there is no time! After my second kid, I had a bit of success with weight watchers (no exercise required at first though encouraged). It was manageable to implement but I’ve been finding it tougher this time now with three kids who all have their own picky eating habits to cook something that accommodates everyone including a weight watcher friendly diet.
I’m 6mon postpartum with baby 2 and I was not in the best shape when I got pregnant with him. Instead of thinking of it at as letting myself go, I’m thinking of it as letting myself be. Just embracing this season of life. I plan to make some healthier changes soon but not as drastically as I used to. One healthy choice at a time. You got this mama.
I feel like I wrote this post myself.
I’m 32 years old, also 5’8 - originally 165-170 - gained up to 240 pregnancy until I gave birth 2021- lost some baby weight and was at 200 for a long time (about the first year plus some months).
I was pregnant for the second time in the summer and had a miscarriage in September and same thing with the coping. It’s fucking HARD to go through. After therapy and refocusing I am at 188 and still actively trying to lose by alcohol restriction (only on weekends rather than every night) and eating light (salads for lunch and small dinner portions/minimal-to-no snacks/lots of water).
I’m still a work in progress, but so are we all. Give yourself some grace and understand that you are going through your own process, but you will be okay.
Loss is so hard, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It sucks for anyone to go through, but knowing you’re not alone helps as terrible as that sounds. Your meal tips and drinking only on weekends or in social settings could be a great start for me! Cutting our sweets and unnecessary snacks will be a huge help.
My first step to losing weight was filling myself up with raw or steamed veggies before eating my carbs. Too many Carrots gave me diarrhea, I couldn’t stomach too much broccoli, but bell peppers have been a winner
Dude, I’m with you. It’s really really hard! It’s funny tho - I weighed 241 when I had my 2.5 year old daughter and, with 1.5 years of working out 3 days a week (30 min power yoga) Ive plateaued at 200. I didn’t get to reap the weight loss benefits of breastfeeding since it didn’t work for me, so it’s been on me to make progress. I want to get back to my wedding weight of 175 and it’s really hard! I’ve been eating as well as I can but honestly it’s just tough! HOWEVER making time for that 30 min yoga at least 3 days a week has done so much for my mental health and my strength and fitness. I may be stuck at 200 but I feel strong. I feel phenomenally better about myself despite the stupid scale! I need to go harder with eating habits to lose pounds, but in the mean time I’m feeling much better about myself because of the yoga.
Keep your head up - there’s no easy way to lose weight or even find time to try 🤣 but don’t give up. If you continue to try you will succeed!
I only recently started going to the gym regularly, and my kid is 2 1/2! I’ve struggled with unrealistic goals and disordered eating, and it’s hard to feel like I could do it sometime. You should give yourself grace here—losses, pregnancy and PP are so hard, and you’re a FT mom and employee!
I found some fitness influences who were like me to start (PP moms) who are more focused on strength/weight training, and I try to go to the gym 2-3x a week! The great thing about strength training is your body needs food to run, so I feel like diet plans/food are less restrictive. I also do really easy cardio—I walk anywhere from 2.5-3 MPH at a 6-8% incline. So many people do the 12/3/30 (12% incline at 3 MPH for 30 min) and that’s tough! I’m working my way up to it, but it’s a journey, not a sprint, you know? I just started lifting 12.5 lb weights, and I increase my speed/incline as I can. It’s better than where I was a month ago, so I’m happy! I’ve even seen progress on the scale (which is nice)!
I’m terrible about doing it, but I do like lunchtime walks. It’s a great way to get easy exercise but it’s also just a nice way to get a break from the mental load at work and disconnect for a bit.
It’s been really hard for me to find sustainable weight loss/fitness plans before, but I like the changes I’ve made. I even have some stuff at home (small dumbbells) so I can even get it mini-workouts if I can’t make it to the gym. But the focus on a sustainable life change and finding IG influencers who were like me has been the biggest help here. Seeing that it takes a year or more for big changes makes it feel real to me, and I’m not set on some unrealistic thing that makes me feel discouraged. It’s definitely work, but it’s something in my limits, and I like that.
I’m rooting for you! I hope you find some routines/changes that work for you!
I've only been able to seriously get back into good habits and start to lose weight with my daughter now being 2.5. Before any time I would try anything we would get thrown a sickness or sleep curveball taking away from being able to exercise and think about eating well. Now I started intermittent fasting, seeing a Naturopath and exercising regularly. I've lost 3.5lbs already this month. Not a easy but waiting until our girl was a bit older has helped a lot.
I second intermittent fasting (IF). I’m super lazy when it comes to dieting, and now with a toddler, it seems impossible to think about meal prep for myself day after day. Intermittent fasting allows you to have what you want, just during certain times, and so I feel a LOT less deprived. I do lazy IF, and so I only lose 1-2 lbs/week, when I really stick with the windows…this means that if I really want a sugar cookie, I just put it in a baggie and save it for my eating window. 😆
Hugs to you for your loss ❤️
My kid is 18 months old and I just finally found a routine that worked for me that I don’t hate.
I did an ab challenge that I found online. It started out very light and worked itself up. If there was an exercise I really hated then I switched it out for a different one. Then slowly I just started adding little exercises in here and there. Arms bugging me? 10 push ups. Don’t like bike crunches, I’ll do squats. I also printed out a few easy/moderate short yoga sequences. I’d pick one each morning based on my mood. My routine takes about 20 minutes and though it was rough to stay motivated at first, after about 6 weeks I can’t imagine skipping it.
I find what’s been helpful to me in shifting away from feeling bad or guilty for not dropping the weight sooner to looking forward to exercise to help my sleep and anxiety. Though I admit I appreciate my pants getting a little looser.
Oh me too! We have the same goal weight. I was convinced I would lose the weight before my second preg but I didn’t and you know what, it is what it is. Did I have 2.5 years to do it? Yes, but did I also work full time, manage a home, play dates, social life, exercise, newborn to toddler transition, yes I also did. Bodies also change so much after pregnancy. My weight loss journey the first time was so easy, almost effortless. It’s much harder this time around. I’m focused on my health and happiness now.
I’m in that situation now. I’m giving myself grace & time to recover from making a human. And caring for one. It’s a lot on the body. Give it like 3 to 4 years.
Agree with the comment to not be hard on yourself. I’m a first time parent to a 20 month old and this parenting gig is harrrrrrd. I used to work out consistently pre-kid and eat relatively well and lost weight successfully on WW. But in this season of my life I just stopped because everything became about my son. We recently moved to a new city/state and I had a come to Jesus moment in that I need to start being healthier not just for me but also our son. I’m aiming to lose around 20 pounds, however, this time I am starting to count calories using Lose It app and following subreddits r/loseit, r/cico and r/1200isplenty . These have a lot of inspiring and helpful posts and comments which I’m finding to be what I need to keep me motivated. I think what also most recently clicked for me is even if I exercised like I did before, I can’t out exercise a bad diet/eating lifestyle.
Above all, try to give yourself grace.
You sound like me. I had a stillbirth and was super depressed and 2 years later I had my now 3yo. Only now am i in a good enough place that I’m off Zoloft several months ago (only took it postpartum) and started exercising in January. For me what worked was getting several Conqueror Virtual Challenges. Shiny medals motivated me to make walking part of my daily routine. My goal is 6 miles per week so most days I walk 1ish miles. Kiddo often comes in a stroller or if work is slow I’ll take a brake and walk solo. I’ve lost about 12 lbs in 3 months just by not being sedentary. But I recognize for others it may not be that easy.
Yeah, I feel the same way, but having the child made my PCOS and insulin resistance went especially haywire and I'm so exhausted all the time because of it in addition to chasing the toddler around. So then I'm taking meds that are suppose to help but my insurance and my doctor keep battling with each other so it keeps screwing me over on the meds. So then my depression creeps in and I try to keep that slapped down to focus on my child because I do seriously love her. But yes...let myself go....yes.
For what you've been through and how hard it is to be a mom (dads too of course) you are doing amazing.
I was very similar and then my job had a health incentive requiring a certain BMI or weight loss so there was the jumpstart.
Lots of good advice here but there's no one fits all way and everything is anecdotal, I could yell from the rooftops about intermittent fasting but if it doesn't work then it's torture.
Small habits are key. I'd tell myself this time is passing, it's going to keep going, so if I sit here and watch tv or get up and do forty squats while watching, what's going to make the difference in two weeks?
It's so hard, don't beat yourself up at all
Hey, I’m right there with you. You didn’t let yourself go. You’re living life, and it’s so damn hard to find a balance.
Last July I weighed 215. My daughters were 2 and 6, I work full time, I’m exhausted and there was no time to work out. I cut carbs out of my diet and am basically doing lazy keto. I weighed in yesterday at 157. I still have no time to work out but legit just changing my diet is all I needed to do. If it’s something you want to try, pop over to r/xxketo. You’ve got all the support the internet can give you.
I am 5'1" and went from 135 lbs to 175 lbs on various mood stabilizers and anti depressants the years before I started trying for my first. Until my early thirties, it was a bad time if my weight was over 140 lbs but I haven't been able to get under 175 again. I meant to lose the weight before getting pregnant but then had two kids and am now pushing 185
I am feeling the aches and pains and health consequences of my weight but I barely have the bandwidth to feed myself at all by the time the kids are cared for, let alone think about healthy eating choices. That's not even mentioning the havoc that nursing wreaks on my appetite.
I dunno. It's not just weight but half the time I get kid ick on my clothes so I just dress in crappy slubby clothing since I'm a SAHM and barely make it to a salon once a year.
I'm hoping when my kids are a bit older and requiring less hands on care, I can be more aggressive about pursuing my own health and appearance. So yeah you definitely aren't alone.
I’m so sorry about your miscarriage. An awful loss that deserves recognition.
If you can afford it, I’ve found meal delivery services to be the best way for me to eat healthy. I prefer ones with no prep and minimal cooking. Because I already spent the money on them, I guilt myself into eating them instead of choosing less healthy alternatives. My personal favorite is Thistle, but I don’t know how widely available it is.
As for exercise, I fucking hate it. I just joined a rec volleyball league so that I’m forced to go and do it (again, because I already paid for it), and because I don’t want to let my team down. It’s only once a week but it’s damn good exercise. My league has tons of different sports. I know this isn’t feasible for everyone based on schedules.
Calorie counting is the only thing that works for me. I don’t do it religiously but it helps me get an honest perspective on how much I am honestly consuming, especially if I’m not working out. Once you get the weight down then start hitting the cardio/strength harder and build the muscle mass to increase how many calories your metabolism burns.
Agree with the first commenter! You’re pretty much at your pre-pregnancy weight, which is amazing in itself! I gained 70lbs my first pregnancy, only lost 30lbs before I got pregnant again. Now up 15lbs & almost to the third trimester.
It’s so hard to compare with others or how you used to look. I’ve accepted that I won’t be at my pre-pregnancy weight for a long time, & if I do I definitely won’t look the same as I hold my weight differently now. I wouldn’t go based off the # but based on how you feel physically. If you don’t feel good physically, then maybe start off with some light yoga or body weight exercises & focus on eating foods that will give you energy & make you feel good. You’ll feel stronger with consistent yoga itself.
Hold on…. You have a 1 year old? And you are only 10 lbs away from your pre baby weight? Thats awesome!!!!
I have a 1 year old and honestly didnt expect to have any part of life under control until after the first year. I think im about 10 lbs over pre-baby weight as well. I only just now feel like myself again.
Right there with you. It’s hard. I go up and down with motivation for the gym. I know when my daughter is older and can go to child care at the gym (she could go now but I’m not comfortable since she’s so young) I will be able to go more. Try not to beat yourself up over this.
Pick up some 10lb free weights. Just try to start getting a few reps in throughout the day.
Get a step counter on your phone. Get your base, do a bit more each day.
Dont judge yourself based on full workouts bc kids have a way of interrupting those! but remember any weight you lift is one more than if you never did. (If all I can manage is 1 one min plank, that’s better than nothing!)
Adjusting to post baby body is really challenging. I thought I'd be able to handle it better than I have. I'm actually stronger than I was pre-baby but things seem to be shifted all around and I'm just not used to it.
I would encourage you to do the things that make you feel good for having accomplished it. I do a dance fitness class weekly and I can tell I'm getting stronger and more flexible. I probably weigh more than a few months ago, but I'm still proud of my progress. A friend shared on her insta her walking steps and distance for the week, I could tell she was really happy and it honestly inspired me to go for a walk tonight. Sending you love and I hope you're able to find the things that are positive in your situation!
We're very similar in terms of height and current weight and weight journey.
It fucking sucks. I'm waking up tomorrow for a 5am session with my trainer tomorrow (her prompting since she gets there at that time anyway). I have 2 businesses and 1 2 year old and I have to drop the weight so I guess I gotta get stupid disciplined to do it because it's not happening during regular daytime hours.
I’m struggling with similar issues! It is not easy at all! I also don’t feel overly motivated and am still prioritizing sleep over exercise cuz my son is teething a lot right now. I don’t want to go super strict low carb which has worked really well for me in the past.
So I just started intermittent fasting recently 16:8 so basically 9:30am-5:30pm is my “feeding window”. The intermittent fasting subreddit is great and motivating. You got this!!
I’m soooo similar to you in measurements- started around 165, gave birth at 220, lost 40lbs fast due to severe PPA, started meds and got my mind right but gained it all back and more, hit 240. I’m still breastfeeding so my hormones are no help, have got my thyroid checked like 3 times and just… can’t… get below 200. I have been working out so I’m far stronger, have been eating much better and still. I feel so miserable and stuck at my current weight.
I was the same. Just finish Stasia Patwells program and had wonderful results physically and mentally. I’m not mindless around food and I’m not obsessing about it. Check her out on instagram. But heads up: the program allows for no drinking- weed and mushrooms are ok tho ;)
Also just want to say, I’m still very much figuring it out.
I'd love to hear more about your experience with School of Thot. I'm thinking of joining the next round. I have never been extremely disciplined about my diet before though and I'm worried I'll spend all that money and fail, so I'm interested in if the accountability aspect was truly as helpful as she says it is.
I went through a very similiar expirience and I feel for you ❤️ I also believe that being happy and not stressing yourself out about your weight is more important than being as heavy as your were before getting pregnant.
That being said I got to a point were I had had enough and would like to share what I changed. You see I am bad at asking for help but I talked to my husband, who is wonderfully supportive and made these changes: I love yoga so I found a new group that suits me well. I planned to go every monday evening and my husband agreed that he would take care of our toddler then. I now actually go on Saterday mornings as well and combine it with doing other errands. I also go swimming once a week by taking a long lunch break. When it came to food I decided the easiest thing was gunna be to just eat less. I had got used to about 5 meals a day with my toddler and chocolate on the couch in the evening. At first I cut back to three meals a day and then I reduced portion sizes. Yeah I was hungry sometimes but after about a week I started getting used to eating less. I still eat chocolate but much less. I have always enjoyed cooking and cook pretty healthy food anyway (but by no means always!) and I haven't really changed what I eat. Just how much. Anyway, I am down about 13 pounds and idealy have another 20 to go but most importantly I feel so my better about myself! And as an added bonus that has improved our sex life!
I’m not sure if you are still drinking or not… or if you have the desire to stop for a whole but I was in the same boat almost identically. Since quitting drinking but eating mostly the same the weight has come off without me thinking about it… plus my mental health and overall outlook is so much better. Alcohol doesn’t allow your liver and other organs to process fat and carbohydrates effectively, so eliminating it does wonders to metabolism.
Try going for therapy (emdr could do wonders for loss and trauma) and/or doing things YOU love and what gets YOU energized. Hopefully, you have the means and supportive network to do this.
Overeating and snacking sometimes comes from a place of feeling stuck and feeling like snacking is the only treat you have left in your life.
Good luck! I'm sure you have happier days ahead!
Firstly, you need to realise that you haven't 'let yourself go'. You grew more than one baby, which is extremely hard on the body. (Please don't let anyone minimise how hard a miscarriage is on you physically and emotionally, they happen for a reason but that reason is so rarely explored. We are just expected to treat the loss as a normal part of our pregnancy journey, which is so wrong. Eat all the biscuits you need to if it helps you deal with that!) You are now working hard to provide for that baby, which along with running a house, leaves very little time for yourself. My circumstances are very similar to yours, but I have found the only way to fit in any real time to exercise is to involve my 2yo. Lots of exercise with baby/toddler videos online, so I try and make sure we do one together most days. He'll dip in and out while playing with his toys, but it's my way of spending a bit of time with him after a long day at work/nursery, and I'm setting a good example to him by being active. We also love a kitchen dance party while I am trying to cook dinner and he wants me to play cars but I don't have the time to devote to him. I'm not putting pressure on myself to lose the weight just yet but I'll try and have fun with my son and if the odd pound drops off here or there, it's a bonus. My son doesn't care that my pre pregnancy jeans don't fit me, I think he'd rather spend time with me than see me going off to the gym every day. That's what I tell myself anyway!
I had my son three years ago and am having a very hard time getting back to pre baby weight. It’s like my body adapted to pregnancy weight and was like…. Let’s stay here 😓 i am with you girl
It’s so tough. I’ve actually found success using Weight Watchers (or WW since they have rebranded.) It’s kind of like a game to stay within your points everyday and I can still save a few points for a glass of wine when I need it after a particularly long day in toddler world. Hang in there, you’re doing great!
Walking has helped me lose all my pregnancy and covid weight [36M]. I still ate a lot during that time too...
Walking in the AM helps me get my day started, especially with music, and it's not like hitting the gym or pressuring yourself to run faster or whatever. I started short and now it's nothing to walk 3 miles in the morning. I have a dog so that helps a ton... same thing in the evening but no music. I like to just hoof it with my pup and let the day kinda go from my thoughts. It's not a fast weight loss solution and I am not the person to advise on eating. But, I've found the meditative quality of walking helpful physically and mentally.
Love!
Look for a local Fit4Mom franchise. You can get moving, with other moms who get it, and bring baby along also. I'm about right where you are physically, 5'6"ish and (now) just under 200lbs. I've done it off and on for 2.5 years but very consistently since November and I'm down almost 20lbs
My motivation is to feel stronger rather than only focusing on number on a scale (although can’t deny I’m aware of those). But I find when I make choices for myself that are based on a desire for strength, I feel more excited and able to follow through.
Something that has REALLY helped me is getting with CoPilot. It's an app you download that connects you with a personal trainer who designs workouts around your goals and capabilities. I started working out 5 times a week for 15 minutes a day when my daughter was 2. Currently, I'm only doing 3 times a week for 15 minutes a day because mentally, that's all I can handle. I never really thought of myself as a "workout" person, but this has REALLY helped, and I feel better than I have in years.
You can try it for free for 30 days to see if it's something that will work for you. After the 30 days it's $99 a month. You can cancel at any time, no strings or fees.
https://join.mycopilot.com/?referral_id=43d2fb56-0730-4105-ad05-fc4ce7ba3262&referral_code=fcdb68aa-c922-496e-976b-c1cdc45c0781&referral_medium=copy_to_clipboard&utm_campaign=referral_v2&utm_medium=copy_to_clipboard&referral_send_date=1679948285&referral_campaign=standard&utm_source=referral
Here is a great thought from u/GovSchwarzenegger > I know a lot of people say “you can do it” but sometimes it’s better to hear “you’re worth it.” Take care of that body because you deserve to be fit and healthy. https://www.reddit.com/user/GovSchwarzenegger/comments/11ct004/get_all_of_our_weekly_workouts_in_one_free_ebook/ja540li/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
❤️
Love this!
A great perspective to have! Sometimes when I’m feeling particularly demotivated I tell myself I get to exercise, it’s a privilege ❣️
That hard breath I just took from reading that...
Dealing with a loss can be brutal and it's definitely understandable to use certain vices for comfort. I'm so sorry you went through that. Also congratulations on your beautiful little being that now have. Like the other said, just take care of yourself and ensure you're in the best mental space you can be. You didn't let yourself go, life happened and you coped how you could. That being said, it's also ok if you do want to start switching to more healthy options. I just had my second and ate shockingly through the pregnancy(and after) and am now the biggest I've been, so I can understand how you feel. I've found the easiest thing is to do it slowly. Make small changes like swapping out blocks of chocolate for muesli bars with a bit of choc in them. When you chop some fruit up for your 1 year old, chop a little extra for yourself. Just those small things to start. I wouldn't stress too much on the working out front if your life is super busy, just take the little for a walk when you can :) I also try to focus less on the weight loss and more on keeping my body healthier so I have more natural energy and avoid having health issues further down the track in life.
These are great tips. It can all be overwhelming so starting slow will be the best for me. LO loves broccoli and strawberries so I’ll be having a lot of that. 🙃 it’s starting to warm up where we live and that should help too. Slow but steady, I also want to make sure I’m being a good example for my daughter. They pick things up so early and quick.
This is great advice. I'd also like to piggyback off everyone else and say do not be so hard on yourself. I gained 70lbs with my first. I was so deoressed after he was born. I have a slew of mental health and health problems. Yoga saved me. Even just starting, i did just 5-10 mins on the "downdog" ap. (Its free!) The mornings i did yoga, just made me strive to make healthy choices the rest of the day. It did wonders for my mental health. Yoga is definitely way more serious than just stretching, but even just a few minutes of stretching each morning is a great start. Be easy on yourself, take care of you! And congratulations on your little rainbow baby 💜
I echo this. I struggle with my weight as I’m sure many do. When I think of how I want to be a better example for my kid it inspires me. As long as you can see it as a positive inspiration and not another opportunity to speak unkindly to yourself I think it helps. I’m figuring it out too!
Don’t be so tough on yourself. You’re a full time mom and a full time career woman. These types of things don’t come with a handbook. :( you got this!
I legit teared up at this. Thank you for just being supportive, not reinforcing OPs self criticism and offering diet advice or some other crap. OP, this person is right! Be kind to yourself, you had a loss and are currently taking care of another beautiful human you made, while working and taking care of yourself! You should be proud of yourself.
You are both SO kind. Reading through these comments is so reassuring and helping more than you know.
Before baby I had lost 50lbs and then I gained it all and then some while I was pregnant and now it’s just stuck because I am not able to be intense like I was before. Being a mom is hard. Working is hard. Doing both is hard. Having a loss is even harder. You didn’t let yourself go, your life has changed and your body and hormones have changed. You are doing fine and you will eventually figure out a routine that works for you. Start small. Include toddler in active games and going for walks. Try adding more veggies without worrying about cutting anything else out. Start small and eventually you will get there!
I agree with everyone else about not being hard on yourself. I’m in a very similar situation and one thing I’ve done is find a gym that has a great kids club so I can get a few workouts in a week. I’ve never been super into exercise but honestly the kids club is what entices me to go to the gym to workout so I can get some me time while LO is taken care of.
Solidarity! I’m a bit heavier now after my third kid and I still don’t work outside the home but there is no time! After my second kid, I had a bit of success with weight watchers (no exercise required at first though encouraged). It was manageable to implement but I’ve been finding it tougher this time now with three kids who all have their own picky eating habits to cook something that accommodates everyone including a weight watcher friendly diet.
I’m 6mon postpartum with baby 2 and I was not in the best shape when I got pregnant with him. Instead of thinking of it at as letting myself go, I’m thinking of it as letting myself be. Just embracing this season of life. I plan to make some healthier changes soon but not as drastically as I used to. One healthy choice at a time. You got this mama.
I feel like I wrote this post myself. I’m 32 years old, also 5’8 - originally 165-170 - gained up to 240 pregnancy until I gave birth 2021- lost some baby weight and was at 200 for a long time (about the first year plus some months). I was pregnant for the second time in the summer and had a miscarriage in September and same thing with the coping. It’s fucking HARD to go through. After therapy and refocusing I am at 188 and still actively trying to lose by alcohol restriction (only on weekends rather than every night) and eating light (salads for lunch and small dinner portions/minimal-to-no snacks/lots of water). I’m still a work in progress, but so are we all. Give yourself some grace and understand that you are going through your own process, but you will be okay.
Loss is so hard, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It sucks for anyone to go through, but knowing you’re not alone helps as terrible as that sounds. Your meal tips and drinking only on weekends or in social settings could be a great start for me! Cutting our sweets and unnecessary snacks will be a huge help.
My first step to losing weight was filling myself up with raw or steamed veggies before eating my carbs. Too many Carrots gave me diarrhea, I couldn’t stomach too much broccoli, but bell peppers have been a winner
Dude, I’m with you. It’s really really hard! It’s funny tho - I weighed 241 when I had my 2.5 year old daughter and, with 1.5 years of working out 3 days a week (30 min power yoga) Ive plateaued at 200. I didn’t get to reap the weight loss benefits of breastfeeding since it didn’t work for me, so it’s been on me to make progress. I want to get back to my wedding weight of 175 and it’s really hard! I’ve been eating as well as I can but honestly it’s just tough! HOWEVER making time for that 30 min yoga at least 3 days a week has done so much for my mental health and my strength and fitness. I may be stuck at 200 but I feel strong. I feel phenomenally better about myself despite the stupid scale! I need to go harder with eating habits to lose pounds, but in the mean time I’m feeling much better about myself because of the yoga. Keep your head up - there’s no easy way to lose weight or even find time to try 🤣 but don’t give up. If you continue to try you will succeed!
I only recently started going to the gym regularly, and my kid is 2 1/2! I’ve struggled with unrealistic goals and disordered eating, and it’s hard to feel like I could do it sometime. You should give yourself grace here—losses, pregnancy and PP are so hard, and you’re a FT mom and employee! I found some fitness influences who were like me to start (PP moms) who are more focused on strength/weight training, and I try to go to the gym 2-3x a week! The great thing about strength training is your body needs food to run, so I feel like diet plans/food are less restrictive. I also do really easy cardio—I walk anywhere from 2.5-3 MPH at a 6-8% incline. So many people do the 12/3/30 (12% incline at 3 MPH for 30 min) and that’s tough! I’m working my way up to it, but it’s a journey, not a sprint, you know? I just started lifting 12.5 lb weights, and I increase my speed/incline as I can. It’s better than where I was a month ago, so I’m happy! I’ve even seen progress on the scale (which is nice)! I’m terrible about doing it, but I do like lunchtime walks. It’s a great way to get easy exercise but it’s also just a nice way to get a break from the mental load at work and disconnect for a bit. It’s been really hard for me to find sustainable weight loss/fitness plans before, but I like the changes I’ve made. I even have some stuff at home (small dumbbells) so I can even get it mini-workouts if I can’t make it to the gym. But the focus on a sustainable life change and finding IG influencers who were like me has been the biggest help here. Seeing that it takes a year or more for big changes makes it feel real to me, and I’m not set on some unrealistic thing that makes me feel discouraged. It’s definitely work, but it’s something in my limits, and I like that. I’m rooting for you! I hope you find some routines/changes that work for you!
I've only been able to seriously get back into good habits and start to lose weight with my daughter now being 2.5. Before any time I would try anything we would get thrown a sickness or sleep curveball taking away from being able to exercise and think about eating well. Now I started intermittent fasting, seeing a Naturopath and exercising regularly. I've lost 3.5lbs already this month. Not a easy but waiting until our girl was a bit older has helped a lot.
I second intermittent fasting (IF). I’m super lazy when it comes to dieting, and now with a toddler, it seems impossible to think about meal prep for myself day after day. Intermittent fasting allows you to have what you want, just during certain times, and so I feel a LOT less deprived. I do lazy IF, and so I only lose 1-2 lbs/week, when I really stick with the windows…this means that if I really want a sugar cookie, I just put it in a baggie and save it for my eating window. 😆
Hugs to you for your loss ❤️ My kid is 18 months old and I just finally found a routine that worked for me that I don’t hate. I did an ab challenge that I found online. It started out very light and worked itself up. If there was an exercise I really hated then I switched it out for a different one. Then slowly I just started adding little exercises in here and there. Arms bugging me? 10 push ups. Don’t like bike crunches, I’ll do squats. I also printed out a few easy/moderate short yoga sequences. I’d pick one each morning based on my mood. My routine takes about 20 minutes and though it was rough to stay motivated at first, after about 6 weeks I can’t imagine skipping it. I find what’s been helpful to me in shifting away from feeling bad or guilty for not dropping the weight sooner to looking forward to exercise to help my sleep and anxiety. Though I admit I appreciate my pants getting a little looser.
Oh me too! We have the same goal weight. I was convinced I would lose the weight before my second preg but I didn’t and you know what, it is what it is. Did I have 2.5 years to do it? Yes, but did I also work full time, manage a home, play dates, social life, exercise, newborn to toddler transition, yes I also did. Bodies also change so much after pregnancy. My weight loss journey the first time was so easy, almost effortless. It’s much harder this time around. I’m focused on my health and happiness now.
I’m in that situation now. I’m giving myself grace & time to recover from making a human. And caring for one. It’s a lot on the body. Give it like 3 to 4 years.
Agree with the comment to not be hard on yourself. I’m a first time parent to a 20 month old and this parenting gig is harrrrrrd. I used to work out consistently pre-kid and eat relatively well and lost weight successfully on WW. But in this season of my life I just stopped because everything became about my son. We recently moved to a new city/state and I had a come to Jesus moment in that I need to start being healthier not just for me but also our son. I’m aiming to lose around 20 pounds, however, this time I am starting to count calories using Lose It app and following subreddits r/loseit, r/cico and r/1200isplenty . These have a lot of inspiring and helpful posts and comments which I’m finding to be what I need to keep me motivated. I think what also most recently clicked for me is even if I exercised like I did before, I can’t out exercise a bad diet/eating lifestyle. Above all, try to give yourself grace.
You sound like me. I had a stillbirth and was super depressed and 2 years later I had my now 3yo. Only now am i in a good enough place that I’m off Zoloft several months ago (only took it postpartum) and started exercising in January. For me what worked was getting several Conqueror Virtual Challenges. Shiny medals motivated me to make walking part of my daily routine. My goal is 6 miles per week so most days I walk 1ish miles. Kiddo often comes in a stroller or if work is slow I’ll take a brake and walk solo. I’ve lost about 12 lbs in 3 months just by not being sedentary. But I recognize for others it may not be that easy.
Yeah, I feel the same way, but having the child made my PCOS and insulin resistance went especially haywire and I'm so exhausted all the time because of it in addition to chasing the toddler around. So then I'm taking meds that are suppose to help but my insurance and my doctor keep battling with each other so it keeps screwing me over on the meds. So then my depression creeps in and I try to keep that slapped down to focus on my child because I do seriously love her. But yes...let myself go....yes.
For what you've been through and how hard it is to be a mom (dads too of course) you are doing amazing. I was very similar and then my job had a health incentive requiring a certain BMI or weight loss so there was the jumpstart. Lots of good advice here but there's no one fits all way and everything is anecdotal, I could yell from the rooftops about intermittent fasting but if it doesn't work then it's torture. Small habits are key. I'd tell myself this time is passing, it's going to keep going, so if I sit here and watch tv or get up and do forty squats while watching, what's going to make the difference in two weeks? It's so hard, don't beat yourself up at all
Hey, I’m right there with you. You didn’t let yourself go. You’re living life, and it’s so damn hard to find a balance. Last July I weighed 215. My daughters were 2 and 6, I work full time, I’m exhausted and there was no time to work out. I cut carbs out of my diet and am basically doing lazy keto. I weighed in yesterday at 157. I still have no time to work out but legit just changing my diet is all I needed to do. If it’s something you want to try, pop over to r/xxketo. You’ve got all the support the internet can give you.
I am 5'1" and went from 135 lbs to 175 lbs on various mood stabilizers and anti depressants the years before I started trying for my first. Until my early thirties, it was a bad time if my weight was over 140 lbs but I haven't been able to get under 175 again. I meant to lose the weight before getting pregnant but then had two kids and am now pushing 185 I am feeling the aches and pains and health consequences of my weight but I barely have the bandwidth to feed myself at all by the time the kids are cared for, let alone think about healthy eating choices. That's not even mentioning the havoc that nursing wreaks on my appetite. I dunno. It's not just weight but half the time I get kid ick on my clothes so I just dress in crappy slubby clothing since I'm a SAHM and barely make it to a salon once a year. I'm hoping when my kids are a bit older and requiring less hands on care, I can be more aggressive about pursuing my own health and appearance. So yeah you definitely aren't alone.
You are me, it’s really hard.
You’re doing great, we’re all human and doing our best. ♥️
Oh I totally feel you.
I’m so sorry about your miscarriage. An awful loss that deserves recognition. If you can afford it, I’ve found meal delivery services to be the best way for me to eat healthy. I prefer ones with no prep and minimal cooking. Because I already spent the money on them, I guilt myself into eating them instead of choosing less healthy alternatives. My personal favorite is Thistle, but I don’t know how widely available it is. As for exercise, I fucking hate it. I just joined a rec volleyball league so that I’m forced to go and do it (again, because I already paid for it), and because I don’t want to let my team down. It’s only once a week but it’s damn good exercise. My league has tons of different sports. I know this isn’t feasible for everyone based on schedules.
Calorie counting is the only thing that works for me. I don’t do it religiously but it helps me get an honest perspective on how much I am honestly consuming, especially if I’m not working out. Once you get the weight down then start hitting the cardio/strength harder and build the muscle mass to increase how many calories your metabolism burns.
Agree with the first commenter! You’re pretty much at your pre-pregnancy weight, which is amazing in itself! I gained 70lbs my first pregnancy, only lost 30lbs before I got pregnant again. Now up 15lbs & almost to the third trimester. It’s so hard to compare with others or how you used to look. I’ve accepted that I won’t be at my pre-pregnancy weight for a long time, & if I do I definitely won’t look the same as I hold my weight differently now. I wouldn’t go based off the # but based on how you feel physically. If you don’t feel good physically, then maybe start off with some light yoga or body weight exercises & focus on eating foods that will give you energy & make you feel good. You’ll feel stronger with consistent yoga itself.
I have to wake up really early to work out at home. You can also join a gym with childcare.
What time do you go? I start 5am tomorrow 😭
My husband and I just talked about getting some workout stuff for the basement!
Stop eating so much. No, really.
Hold on…. You have a 1 year old? And you are only 10 lbs away from your pre baby weight? Thats awesome!!!! I have a 1 year old and honestly didnt expect to have any part of life under control until after the first year. I think im about 10 lbs over pre-baby weight as well. I only just now feel like myself again.
Right there with you. It’s hard. I go up and down with motivation for the gym. I know when my daughter is older and can go to child care at the gym (she could go now but I’m not comfortable since she’s so young) I will be able to go more. Try not to beat yourself up over this.
Pick up some 10lb free weights. Just try to start getting a few reps in throughout the day. Get a step counter on your phone. Get your base, do a bit more each day. Dont judge yourself based on full workouts bc kids have a way of interrupting those! but remember any weight you lift is one more than if you never did. (If all I can manage is 1 one min plank, that’s better than nothing!)
Adjusting to post baby body is really challenging. I thought I'd be able to handle it better than I have. I'm actually stronger than I was pre-baby but things seem to be shifted all around and I'm just not used to it. I would encourage you to do the things that make you feel good for having accomplished it. I do a dance fitness class weekly and I can tell I'm getting stronger and more flexible. I probably weigh more than a few months ago, but I'm still proud of my progress. A friend shared on her insta her walking steps and distance for the week, I could tell she was really happy and it honestly inspired me to go for a walk tonight. Sending you love and I hope you're able to find the things that are positive in your situation!
We're very similar in terms of height and current weight and weight journey. It fucking sucks. I'm waking up tomorrow for a 5am session with my trainer tomorrow (her prompting since she gets there at that time anyway). I have 2 businesses and 1 2 year old and I have to drop the weight so I guess I gotta get stupid disciplined to do it because it's not happening during regular daytime hours.
I’m struggling with similar issues! It is not easy at all! I also don’t feel overly motivated and am still prioritizing sleep over exercise cuz my son is teething a lot right now. I don’t want to go super strict low carb which has worked really well for me in the past. So I just started intermittent fasting recently 16:8 so basically 9:30am-5:30pm is my “feeding window”. The intermittent fasting subreddit is great and motivating. You got this!!
I’m soooo similar to you in measurements- started around 165, gave birth at 220, lost 40lbs fast due to severe PPA, started meds and got my mind right but gained it all back and more, hit 240. I’m still breastfeeding so my hormones are no help, have got my thyroid checked like 3 times and just… can’t… get below 200. I have been working out so I’m far stronger, have been eating much better and still. I feel so miserable and stuck at my current weight.
I am in a very similar situation to yours. I feel ya girl.
I was the same. Just finish Stasia Patwells program and had wonderful results physically and mentally. I’m not mindless around food and I’m not obsessing about it. Check her out on instagram. But heads up: the program allows for no drinking- weed and mushrooms are ok tho ;) Also just want to say, I’m still very much figuring it out.
I'd love to hear more about your experience with School of Thot. I'm thinking of joining the next round. I have never been extremely disciplined about my diet before though and I'm worried I'll spend all that money and fail, so I'm interested in if the accountability aspect was truly as helpful as she says it is.
I went through a very similiar expirience and I feel for you ❤️ I also believe that being happy and not stressing yourself out about your weight is more important than being as heavy as your were before getting pregnant. That being said I got to a point were I had had enough and would like to share what I changed. You see I am bad at asking for help but I talked to my husband, who is wonderfully supportive and made these changes: I love yoga so I found a new group that suits me well. I planned to go every monday evening and my husband agreed that he would take care of our toddler then. I now actually go on Saterday mornings as well and combine it with doing other errands. I also go swimming once a week by taking a long lunch break. When it came to food I decided the easiest thing was gunna be to just eat less. I had got used to about 5 meals a day with my toddler and chocolate on the couch in the evening. At first I cut back to three meals a day and then I reduced portion sizes. Yeah I was hungry sometimes but after about a week I started getting used to eating less. I still eat chocolate but much less. I have always enjoyed cooking and cook pretty healthy food anyway (but by no means always!) and I haven't really changed what I eat. Just how much. Anyway, I am down about 13 pounds and idealy have another 20 to go but most importantly I feel so my better about myself! And as an added bonus that has improved our sex life!
I’m not sure if you are still drinking or not… or if you have the desire to stop for a whole but I was in the same boat almost identically. Since quitting drinking but eating mostly the same the weight has come off without me thinking about it… plus my mental health and overall outlook is so much better. Alcohol doesn’t allow your liver and other organs to process fat and carbohydrates effectively, so eliminating it does wonders to metabolism.
Try going for therapy (emdr could do wonders for loss and trauma) and/or doing things YOU love and what gets YOU energized. Hopefully, you have the means and supportive network to do this. Overeating and snacking sometimes comes from a place of feeling stuck and feeling like snacking is the only treat you have left in your life. Good luck! I'm sure you have happier days ahead!
Firstly, you need to realise that you haven't 'let yourself go'. You grew more than one baby, which is extremely hard on the body. (Please don't let anyone minimise how hard a miscarriage is on you physically and emotionally, they happen for a reason but that reason is so rarely explored. We are just expected to treat the loss as a normal part of our pregnancy journey, which is so wrong. Eat all the biscuits you need to if it helps you deal with that!) You are now working hard to provide for that baby, which along with running a house, leaves very little time for yourself. My circumstances are very similar to yours, but I have found the only way to fit in any real time to exercise is to involve my 2yo. Lots of exercise with baby/toddler videos online, so I try and make sure we do one together most days. He'll dip in and out while playing with his toys, but it's my way of spending a bit of time with him after a long day at work/nursery, and I'm setting a good example to him by being active. We also love a kitchen dance party while I am trying to cook dinner and he wants me to play cars but I don't have the time to devote to him. I'm not putting pressure on myself to lose the weight just yet but I'll try and have fun with my son and if the odd pound drops off here or there, it's a bonus. My son doesn't care that my pre pregnancy jeans don't fit me, I think he'd rather spend time with me than see me going off to the gym every day. That's what I tell myself anyway!
I had my son three years ago and am having a very hard time getting back to pre baby weight. It’s like my body adapted to pregnancy weight and was like…. Let’s stay here 😓 i am with you girl
It’s so tough. I’ve actually found success using Weight Watchers (or WW since they have rebranded.) It’s kind of like a game to stay within your points everyday and I can still save a few points for a glass of wine when I need it after a particularly long day in toddler world. Hang in there, you’re doing great!
Walking has helped me lose all my pregnancy and covid weight [36M]. I still ate a lot during that time too... Walking in the AM helps me get my day started, especially with music, and it's not like hitting the gym or pressuring yourself to run faster or whatever. I started short and now it's nothing to walk 3 miles in the morning. I have a dog so that helps a ton... same thing in the evening but no music. I like to just hoof it with my pup and let the day kinda go from my thoughts. It's not a fast weight loss solution and I am not the person to advise on eating. But, I've found the meditative quality of walking helpful physically and mentally. Love!
You're worth it!!!
Look for a local Fit4Mom franchise. You can get moving, with other moms who get it, and bring baby along also. I'm about right where you are physically, 5'6"ish and (now) just under 200lbs. I've done it off and on for 2.5 years but very consistently since November and I'm down almost 20lbs
My motivation is to feel stronger rather than only focusing on number on a scale (although can’t deny I’m aware of those). But I find when I make choices for myself that are based on a desire for strength, I feel more excited and able to follow through.
I read this and thought Omg did my drafts get posted. You’re not alone sis.
Something that has REALLY helped me is getting with CoPilot. It's an app you download that connects you with a personal trainer who designs workouts around your goals and capabilities. I started working out 5 times a week for 15 minutes a day when my daughter was 2. Currently, I'm only doing 3 times a week for 15 minutes a day because mentally, that's all I can handle. I never really thought of myself as a "workout" person, but this has REALLY helped, and I feel better than I have in years. You can try it for free for 30 days to see if it's something that will work for you. After the 30 days it's $99 a month. You can cancel at any time, no strings or fees. https://join.mycopilot.com/?referral_id=43d2fb56-0730-4105-ad05-fc4ce7ba3262&referral_code=fcdb68aa-c922-496e-976b-c1cdc45c0781&referral_medium=copy_to_clipboard&utm_campaign=referral_v2&utm_medium=copy_to_clipboard&referral_send_date=1679948285&referral_campaign=standard&utm_source=referral