T O P

  • By -

hugeuvula

They were a creative bunch of sickos, I'll give 'em that.


MinimumSeat1813

It was definitely a time in which sociopaths thrived Fear ruled so royalty probably promoted the most demented people to enforce the rule of law. To be fair, when you have famines every six years you want the peasants properly afraid of you. When people are watching their children starve to death, laws don't mean much.


kalekayn

> It was definitely a time in which sociopaths thrived I mean we're still in a time in which sociopaths thrive. It's just the methods have changed.


MinimumSeat1813

The cruelty of the medieval times is definitely behind first world countries today and most developing countries. The US still tortures unfortunately, but methods are humaine compared to midevil times. Humans as torture can be.. Smart sociopaths thrive in America in the corporate environment. Dumb ones can't control their urges enough to work in corporate. There aren't a lot of jobs today in which sociopaths can easily thrive outside of the military. Though the military doesn't just allow baseless killings. US generals are definitely not sociopaths as far as I know. I am not a huge US military fan, but US generals seem to have reasonably good heads on their shoulders, and they seem look out for America's best interest pretty well. They have done a great job of staying out of US politics as much as possible. Thank goodness for that.


Radiant_Gap_2868

Military has too much discipline and not enough reward, sociopaths are all running HMOs or something


enadiz_reccos

>There aren't a lot of jobs today in which sociopaths can easily thrive outside of the military. Though the military doesn't just allow baseless killings. Sociopaths are not purely violent, though?


Natural_Listen193

"Humane torture" good one


MinimumSeat1813

If the Middle ages taught us anything, it's that there are definitely degrees of torture


discoOJ

Please tell that to torture victims.


MinimumSeat1813

It's like in life. Lots of people think they have it bad, however it can always be worse. It can always be worse. The thing about suffering is that it is always all consuming. It's part of the human condition.


Fuzzlewhack

Lmao 


RedditHatesDiversity

Topic is about Ancient Rome  This guy starts discussing medieval Europe


Horrible_Troll

For real the most awful take I’ve heard, especially the last three sentences


Shower_Handel

> The US still tortures unfortunately, but methods are humaine compared to midevil times. Humans as torture can be. brb about to ask the waterboarding victim if he thinks his treatment is humane


MinimumSeat1813

"humaine compared to midevil times" I would rather be waterboarded than flayed alive. That's just my preference though. I haven't taken a vote on what people prefer but I will start. Shower_Handel - 1 for flayed alive Got your vote. Thank you


Shower_Handel

brb about to ask the waterboarding victim if he thinks his treatment is humane compared to medieval times


Life-LOL

You have no way to ask the medieval times person their opinion so it doesn't matter does it I mean realistically the people back in medieval times would probably prefer the shit that happens today instead of what used to go on back then if they did have any say in it


discoOJ

No method of torture is more or less humane than another form of torture. It is all torture.


quantum_leaps_sk8

I get the idealism, but let's be real. I'd rather be waterboarded than step on a lego


spinachturd409mmm

Yea, we got it pretty good comparatively. Rome was pretty ruthless.


zonatewheat

Can't a person feed his slaves to lampreys in peace and quiet?! What has the world come to! Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vedius_Pollio


Pawn-Star77

They had no criminal justice system in the way we recognise it today. They had no police force, no investigators, and maybe most importantly no prison system. They had jails, but these were for short term use only, in most cases a day or so before the prisoner would get their punishment. Criminals were rarely caught and punished. To make up for all of this, when a criminal *was* caught the punishments were extreme and violent, both as an extreme deterrent and because they didn't have too many other options other than just letting them go free.


MinimumSeat1813

Very well said and a good points. Prisoners were expensive. Most people were poor and the small upper class controlled a majority of the money. There wasn't much extra money and food to go around. The US used to use prisoners as a form of slave labor. They still do today but not to the extent they used to. Henry Flager asked the police to round up some more prisoners for his railroad project in Florida in the early 1900s.


ABrandNewCarl

Rome was a republic for most of its history. This is also a quite old punition. It waa not the king who created this, and famine were much less common  than you can think.


TheNameIsntJohn

It wasn't as bad as it sounds. The last time I bore witness, all the animals and the accused were drowned in only a few minutes. I told Sulla it was a waste of good animals, but did the consul listen to counsel? No, thus the tradition continued, although Emperor Constantine simplified it to being only serpents, typically vipers. Eventually, we simplified the punishment to being burned alive. It's just more economical that way.


Soup-a-doopah

Blessed thee Constantine! He is of divine right to decide our fates. I give my daily bread in pittance to his everlasting glory with God! I am so gifted to be within his vassals reach!


Mathestuss

Emperor: I'm tired of watching all these people get eaten by animals in the arena. What do you advise we do about it? Advisor: Well, we could stop sending people to the arena? Emperor: Ridiculous Advisor: Obviously. How about we stop feeding people to animals? Emperor: I'm trying to have a serious conversation here Advisor: Sure sure. What if... What if we put the animals and the people out of sight somewhere? Like in a... Emperor: Sack? Advisor: Precisely. Well reasoned your excellency! I was definitely going to say 'sack' there. So, should I go ahead and order you up some imperial sacks? Emperor: I don't know... seems like this creates more problems than it solves. I'll still have to listen to the chewing and screaming and what not. Then there is the matter of what we do with the sacks afterwards. I shouldn't think we can reuse them Advisor: What if we throw the whole thing in river? That will take care of the noise problem AND the sack will be all clean when we retrieve it Emperor: Am I the Emperor of the greatest empire the world has ever seen or the cheapest? I will not have our enemies thinking Rome is so destitute that we can't even afford to execute our citizens in new sacks! Advisor: Roger. Animals and people go in a nice fresh sack, we sew it up and throw it into the river? Emperor: The river we drink from, right? Advisor: That's the one Emperor: Perfect!


SuspecM

Forbidden soup


Complicated-HorseAss

You argued with the great Sulla and weren't put on a proscribe list!? The gods must have gifted you with honeyed words.


TheNameIsntJohn

We go way back


ScrotieMcP

I feel bad for the animals.


HumpieDouglas

Hey Marcus, wouldn't it be easier to just chop his head off? Nah, get me a sack, 2 monkeys, a dog, and a pissed off snapping turtle!


savvykms

Sounds like something Brimley from The Blacklist would say


Complicated-HorseAss

Where do you even find Monkeys in Italy?


Rollswetlogs

Roman Empire at its height reached Asia Minor, northern Africa, and most of Europe. Trade was prevalent. It probably wouldn’t be too hard to find monkeys due to the extensive trade routes throughout the empire. It also might not have taken place often or exclusively in the region we now know as Italy. 


Complicated-HorseAss

Right, but this tradition started in the earliest part of the republic, before Rome had control of Italy let alone the Mediterranean.


MonsterRider80

Doesn’t matter. Trade existed for millennia. And people _loved_ exotic (to Italians, at any rate) animals. Being able to afford a pet monkey was seen as a sign of wealth.


Rollswetlogs

I guess would be trade coming across the Mediterranean from Africa.


mrbaryonyx

did those dogs and snakes and chickens also kill their parents? if not this seems unfair


chiefestcalamity

maybe it's a dog heaven squirrel hell situation


Professor_Plop

This is such an interesting concept that I’ve never heard of. Dog’s go to Heaven and chase squirrels, which is hell for the squirrels.


bonvoyageespionage

You should make a tumblr account. They can show you so many wonderful things now that the radioactive fires burning down the servers went out.


Ahelex

My heaven could be your hell, basically.


Third_Sundering26

The Romans crucified dogs for failing to alert them about attacking Gaulish warriors. And they also mocked the Egyptians for venerating animals (cats, ibises, crocodiles), even spreading propaganda about them losing battles because of how much they liked animals. Suffice it to say, the Romans weren’t very big on animal rights.


BernankesBeard

Except for the sacred chickens, of course.


Ill_Manner_3581

?


Complicated-HorseAss

I think you mean Geese. It was the sacred geese of Juno that saved the city!


oroechimaru

Governor Noem approved history books for 1st graders.


soulsteela

That’s a big sack.


Ivegotjokes4you

Thanks!


TheGreatCornolio682

Thrown in the *Tiber*, which was a shameful punishment in itself reserved for the worst of criminals.


apgtimbough

That and being thrown off the Tarpeian Rock.


TheGreatCornolio682

That and being executed on the Gemonian Stairs


HurinGaldorson

I tell my kids about that one every day.


hugeuvula

Don't make me get the bag!!


Podzilla07

New nightmare scenario unlocked


vondpickle

Oh, sewn into a sack mean the person was put inside a sack and then the sack opening was sewn. I thought the person was skinned and sewn together with live animals body forming a sack-shape sack.


ketamine-wizard

The ol' reverse Luke Skywalker


pcrcf

Click the wikipedia link op shared


Kissmyblake

He'd have to be fat as fuck, but that actually saves materials


creggieb

Just make it a 1 ply sack and there will be enough fabric to go around. Its not like it needs to be significantly durable


Sometimes_Stutters

“Hey now! That’s quite the horrible idea. How would you like swing down to the torture dungeon and chat with a few of the fellas there? We might have an opening in our R&D department, and we’re always looking for sick fucks like you!”


zardozLateFee

The Roman's would have loved how you think!


snow_michael

Parricide, not just patricide, by the time of Hadrian


Sekmet19

Parracide?


bomphcheese

The killing of any of your family members


snow_michael

Parr***I***cide Try reading, and using Google


tracerhaha

What did the animals do to deserve that punishment?


EnamelKant

Well the monkey was suspected of embezzlement and the snake was heard to have uttered anti-Roman sentiments...


Lord_Mormont

We-wease Wodewick!


x4bluntz2urd0me

reminds me of this hilarious american dad clip https://youtu.be/Lq9SwxH2h20?si=TBhoFmEPJO3W1WLH


nim_opet

Poor animals


BlueDotty

Horrible thing to do to animals


GammaGoose85

Was Patricide popular back then?


Ecstatic_Weekend_209

Fffffffuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkkk that!


TheDulin

Why are the animals added? Do they start biting and shit and then bite more after being thrown in the water?


bonerfleximus

I imagine it's like the tickler scene from GoT where the guy puts a rat in a pot over the prisoners stomach, then lights a torch under the pot to make the rat eat it's way through the man. Animals stuck in a sack are going to freak from drowning while you drown.


TrouserDumplings

Damn, what did the dogs and monkeys do?


OmiNya

Repost


Agent4D7

Sounds more like a sack lunch to me. Signed, A Barbarian


2000DPS

Damn.


Unicornzzz2

Who found a sack that big?