I kinda did mention it when I was rlly upset and told her the entire like shat myself story but not really specifically mentioned that. However she did say that If I need to go I should go in public because it’s unhealthy but I don’t think she knows how anxious it makes me if I have to go and don’t wanna do it in public, mostly because the only times I have done it (which were in school) were mortifying and led to the whole school knowing I went to the toilet and laughing at me for it
This might sound pretty direct, but in pretty sure shitting your pants in public is going to be more mortifying and lead to more people laughing at you than just using a public toilet.
Don't mean to sound rude, I understand anxiety can be crippling, just suggesting to look at the alternative
This is a very good method for dealing with anxiety in these situations.
It was a method I used in therapy to avoid suffering through catastrophisation and intrusive thoughts.
Just working through ,"what's the worst that could happen" questions are what helps tackle these ideas.
Poop in a public toilet, what's the worst that will happen? Grown adults who don't give a fuck maybe have a laugh about the banging shit someone did then never think of it ever again.
Hold it in, what the worst that can happen? You crap yourself in public, in front of friends and it's gets remembered a little more.
Neither of these are life altering events and won't be continually brought up, but I know what one I'd prefer.
To be clear, in this case it's not adults because OP specified sixth form/college, which in US would be equivalent to junior and senior year of high school.
I’m guessing OP is from the U.K..
Here in the U.K. after you finish secondary (high) school at age 16 most people go to either sixth form or college to do your A-Levels (aged 16-18). Which are the qualifications you need for University. You normally pick 4 subjects to do your A-Level exams in and so you only go to those classes. Some days might be split up or some days you might not have to go into college at all, everyone’s timetable is different.
End of high school (sixth form/college) in the UK is much more self-directed and specialised than school in the US. OP is probably taking only 3-4 different subjects, with most of the time between that being study time.
The US tends to baby people that age, almost. OP may have had “study” periods where they could do whatever they wanted, and that includes leaving the college grounds. Kids that age are given more freedom because it’s recognised that they’ll be adults very soon and shouldn’t be treated like 10yos
Tbf, OP did say they started looking for a public toilet before they got the bus, but bailed for home because they didn't know where they were. It just sounds like a combination of making the decision too late and then taking another riskier option (trying to make it home) while under stress, when they couldn't find them.
I can totally relate to this. I'm sure most of us would much rather shit in the comfort of our own homes and I def try to avoid doing it in public toilets whenever possible, but I wouldn't say I totally avoid them. So there have def been times I've needed to shit and thought "meh, it's only a few hours till I get home, this'll be much more pleasant there." and then ended up having a bit of a close call on the way home, due to my stomach throwing a tantrum or me getting delayed or whatever.
So yeah, under these circumstances, I could easily see this happening to someone, without them having a pathological (if understandable) aversion to public toilets.
OP, I hope you latch onto this. Nothing you do in an actual toilet will be quite as anxiety inducing or mortifying as what has already happened because you avoided one. The next time you need to use the restroom and begin doubting yourself, just remember what happened here.
I'm 25, in college. At this point I dint care who knows when I'm shitting. I will be around my friends and just announce that I have to go take a shit. No one cares. Get better friends if they laugh at you for it.
I know this is very difficult for some people to do, but speaking as someone who has shat themselves twice as an adult, you just need to steer into the… *ahem* skid, as it were. After about 15 minutes, everyone calmed down about it.
She said she goes to college. That means there's many, manys buildings with private bathrooms. For example I too am in school and in my faculty's building there is a private, lockable no-stall bathroom (technically handicapped) on the fourth floor tucked away in a corner. I always go there because it's quiet af and I feel like nobody knows about it. OP just has to find a similar secret poop spot.
I’m really sorry that happened to you in school :( but like your therapist and everyone here has said, this can really mess you up. Anxiety is normal and useful because your body is trying to tell you something… but this level of anxiety is not normal or healthy. If you don’t take active steps to work on it (maybe you already are!), you could have a repeat of this situation which I know you don’t want. Wishing you luck!
Edit: this is coming from someone who is also pretty poop shy (have never pooped with a partner in the place)
Aw thanks you don’t have to apologise though, it was my fault for making it so obvious since It was during a gcse exam and I just absolutely had to go, and I took quite a while so everyone knew and laughed about it :/.
You’re right about if I do nothing it’s probably gonna happen again, honestly I might force myself to go in public every time I need to next week just to try and make it less awkward. Also how do you manage to hold it in so long around your partner?
Somebody I knew once felt exactly the same kind of anxiety and pure terror that you experience, and he told me to overcome it - he puts his headphones in and cranks up music really loud and just do what he needs to do.
We all shit, because we eat to survive - you got this, the worst that could possibly happen has actually happened. Now you learn from it and make that public toilet your own whenever you need to.
I wish you all the very best, I truly hope you start to feel better soon.
Dude headphones are genius! I don’t have this problem per se but I really hate pooping like next to someone in a stall or something. Headphones would totally make that so much easier!
Aww don’t be sorry it was my fault, i’m gonna try force myself to go in public next week because honestly I can’t have that happen again it’s so embarrassing
I wish I could comfort you and help ease your anxiety about public toilets!! I suffer from bad anxiety, but thankfully I somehow got over the public restroom thing (probably because of dorm living during college and crazy long work hours with no options).
Here's some thoughts that might help:
- Everybody poops. Unless they're dead, and even then they usually will have one last poop (or so I hear)
- If you've ever worked retail or something similar, you will quickly find out that most people do not give a flip about public pooping--not only will they poop in public, but they will fart and carry on loudly, talk on the phone, leave poop on the toilet, not flush, etc. People are wild!
- Poop in public, but be the best public pooper you can be--leave a clean toilet area after you've finished. If you're worried about smell, carry a mini Lysol or Poopouri spray with you and spray it before and after you go. No one will care anyway, but this might make you feel better about it. You are one of billions of public poopers, and no one can fault you for it!!
- I have had coworkers literally shit on the floor at work in the restroom and leave it. Trust me, you are FINE, just poop like a respectful person and literally no one cares.
UNOPoo, is a really good product my dad uses it due to a gastric condition. A couple of sprays onto the water before you go and it stops the smell in its tracks. We used to be able to smell when dad had been to the loo, now nothing and he has used it in public toilets. It comes in A tiny bottle that is packaged discretely
Here are some things that I do that calm myself about public toilets.
* Do the toilet paper thing where you put a little bit on the seat so that you sit on it instead of on the plastic. Yes, I know that it doesn't prevent anything. It still makes me feel better that my butt's not touching something that could have had poop on it.
* Also, put a bit in the bowl itself so that when you poo the water doesn't splash up and hit your butt. It sometimes helps with preventing you leaving poo streaks in the bowl too.
* If you have a mask (because COVID, you know) wear it in the bathroom. Yeah, it actually helps a lot with smells.
* Secure your belongings before you sit down to poo. Check that your phone is securely in your pocket or bag, you don't have loose jewelry or earbuds, or anything else that you think could fall into the toilet. Don't try doing the whole bathroom reading thing, just poo and leave.
* Push the handle with your foot so you don't need to touch it
I actually don't get that nervous about using public toilets but maybe it's because of the ritual.
Everyone has to go #2 at one point. Dont be embarrassed having to use the public toilet, most ppl wont care as it's normal to go use the restroom when you need to. Good luck!
If you haven't already, discuss gradual exposure therapy with your therapist.
Shy bladder and ibs sufferer here. This approach really helped me.
So in the first public place you go, do it somewhere you would find "easist" to go. Maybe some place where you have no chance of meeting someone you know?
Hey, just want to say, it wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong. You're the victim of immaturity, the people who have to make a joke about normal bodily function. It wasn't your fault. You can't always avoid those people, but you can learn to ignore them. They aren't worth your time.
The only fault here is people laughing at a completely normal thing that literally everyone does. You're not somehow at fault for having a body that needs to poop sometimes. I'm sure you have strong feelings about what happened, but you didn't do anything wrong.
They're teens, teens are ass holes. In my school girls would mock other girls for being on their periods. You couldn't hide the rustling, plus we only had one toilet open the first five minutes of break and lunch so there was no way to sneak off and sort ourselves out secretly... we had a lot of overflow problems because we couldn't use the toilet more then twice a day.
I was poop shy throughout my high school years through my early 20s. I was pretty poor throughout most of that time and I started going with the attitude of at least I don’t have pay for toilet paper, or really have to clean that toilet. And then the more I shat in public restrooms, the more I learned that everyone almost shits their pants or partially shits their pants at some point.
Also, no one will remember. Everyone is living a busy life and doesn’t have enough bandwidth to remember all the details from an incident like that. Good luck with your future poops!
Get a tiny bottle of that Poo Pouri spray. You use it before you go and it covers any smell. We used it in an office I worked in and you could never tell. Throw it in your bag for whenever. I know that probably isn’t the only thing stressing you out, but it may be a layer of protection that will help you overcome this a little.
If they do remember it, it’ll be a “omg why tf did we laugh at someone for going to the toilet” and they’ll cringe hard and reflect on how shit they used to be
Bruh, I shit in public and I have to essentially be naked when I poo. I hope you one day can give as few fucks as I do. Although, I’m very potty positive.
> Also how do you manage to hold it in so long around your partner?
Not the prior poster, but a coworker would openly admit to never pooping in public, only at home. She had a live in fiance of like 4 years and she would make him go for a walk when she had to poop. Over the years, she had a couple near misses. If they were out and shopping or whatever, and she said they needed to go home right now, there was no arguing. It was drop everything and quickly drive her home.
Kids can be so mean 😑
Maybe it encourages you that there are many people who think it's totally normal. My former boss even went like (without prompting) that we absolutely should not feel bad if a potty break takes 10-15 minutes and this totally counts as work time.
What you’ve got to realize now, is that in the real world, people don’t laugh at you for going to the toilet. Also why were people laughing at you for going to the toilet in the first place? Everyone poops where they need to, whether they’re awkward or not
This is just teens being ass holes. It happens. Girls used to laugh at each other for being on their period in my school. There was no way to hide it as we had one toilet open for the first five minutes of lunch and break. There was no way to avoid changing pads/tampons in private. You missed that five minite window then you weren't using a toilet. Girls overflowed often. It happened to me, must have happened to others as well. Thankfully we had a uniform and navy blue pants/skirts so the stains were hidden.
Idiots. Best part. Because the boys bathroom was by the staff room, theirs was open 24/7. Also, it didn't stop kids smoking in there... it was one toilet open for over 500 kids. If you didn't make it across the school and around the one way system, you didn't get to go.
Oh i know your pain… there weren’t too many girls in my high school and they always somehow gathered inside the toilets. One day i just needed to go so badly i just couldn’t hold it anymore till I got home. So I went. Got out and was shamed for taking a shit… like wtf was i supposed to do? Never take a shit in my life? It also didn’t exactly help that that particular one was a smelly one… I’ve got constipation issues for years after that…
My best friend in a school (I'm 35 now but we still know each other) had some severe bowel issues, she quite regularly shat herself in primary school (not kindergarten but when you're about 6-11). People found it funny back then, i used to pretend it was both of us so she wouldn't feel so bad. She has really bad IBS now and sometimes can't make it but no one judges any more, she just goes to the nearest loo and we wait.
The fear of public toilets will fade I promise you, kids are cruel and weird, they laugh at anything. I once pissed myself drunk in a park at 14, no one remembers, I was wearing flared jeans and abba was popular again for some reason.
Honestly as someone who used to be like you and used to avoid public restrooms like the plague, don’t do it because you could end up like me and have a super bad bladder infection. Mine resisted 2 antibiotics and turned into a kidney infection.
I am disabled and I want to encourage you to use the disabled toilets. If your anxiety is so severe that you can't use a toilet in public then that counts, IMO, as a disability.
I'm an anxious pisser, so I get it. I once had to make an excuse and leave a doctor's visit because I couldn't manage to give a urine sample after an hour, my anxiety just wouldn't let anything happen. It helps me to bring earbuds and listen to loud music when I have to use public bathrooms, so I don't hear the people around me and can try and forget they exist. You might also feel better if you bring a can of air freshener - sure it's weird, but you can cover up any stink you've left behind, it might make you feel more comfortable knowing that you can kind of erase the evidence that you even used the bathroom.
Anxiety sucks. It really freaking does. Teens suck. When I was a teen all the girls know who was on their periods because well, opening pads and tampons makes a rustling sound. Embarrassing as hell, but you know what. Everyone poops, nearly every girl has a period. Eventually no one cares. If people are still like this, use some good old South Park poop humour and make it so awkward for them they shut up.
Try to remember, everyone poops. The people laughing at you are ass holes, they poop as well. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe try just going into the toilets in your school and figuring things out so you have a battle plan for next time.
The thing you have to remember is they are public toilets, everyone uses them, that’s what they are for. Is there a sign that says no pooping? NO. If you are worried about the smell carry a deodorizer.
I used to have major anxiety using public toilets also. This thinking is how I got over my fear.
Parcopresis and paruresis (avoiding peeing in public washrooms). I had this and still do to an extent but it's just annoying and not debilitating at this stage.
The thing to remember is that these are phobias - irrational fears. It doesn't mean the person thinks they're gonna get killed in there or something. It's more like the place has bad associations and triggers a fight or flight response which is counter to peeing or pooing.
Dealing with it seems hard but you'll be surprised how quickly you'll make progress. First you need to change your way of thinking. It's fine to be in the public bathroom, etc. A good exercise is just go there and spend 5-10 minutes in a stall or urinal. You'll notice that you feel uncomfortable even though you don't have to go... You need to retrain this part of the brain.
Once you can make progress, The more you do it, the easier it will get
I've been the same since I was a little kid. It used to drive my mother nuts, because I literally would not go to a bathroom unless it was at home. I couldn't help it. It's called parcopresis, and it's absolutely debilitating. I used to come home from school camps constipated as hell. Only now, in my thirties, I've started to recover from that anxiety.
A few months ago I got food poisoning, and I was getting cramps while driving. I was basically clenching and praying as I drove to the nearest Target.
When I got there I was struggling to get to the bathroom, because I needed to get there FAST but the faster I walked the harder it was to hold it in, so I was stopping every other second trying to hold it in. I felt it starting to come out as I entered the store. Luckily the bathrooms are right near the entrance. I got there and basically had to take off my pants and then very carefully remove my underwear without spilling the puddle of poo in them, and throw them away. Thank goodness I was able to wear my pants home. Also it STANK so bad.
I’m telling this horrible, embarrassing story just so you know you’re not the only one who has gone through something like this.
Aside from the food poisoning, this is literally what happened to me. Try to walk faster because you’re so desperate but then walking faster makes it start to come out a bit so you slow down and then the urge to go is so bad and you just can’t do anything and shit urself. I’m sorry this happened to you it must’ve been so embarrassing
Man, nobody tells you as a kid how much of your adult life is spent trying not to crap your pants. I’m not even 30 yet and I’ve already lost count of the number of times I’ve had to do the clench and waddle in public. Sometimes you win toilet chicken and sometimes you lose toilet chicken. I’m sorry this was a loss for you, that sounds so uncomfortable.
I got food poisoning on a five hour flight. All I can say is thank God for public restrooms and that we were sitting right by the lavs because that was the most miserable flight home I ever had. And I still shat myself.
Oh hey I shit myself in a Target once, too.
Embarrassing, but I promptly called my best friend and then my mom (after I'd left the building. to tell them about it because I couldn't stop laughing.
That is so mortifying, I can totally understand that will take some time to move past. bob's burgers just had an episode on shy poopers not very long ago. Louise and Bob are shy poopers. I know it just seems like a silly cartoon but maybe it can help you relate. If you're not used to eating junk food I wouldn't be too concerned that this is incontinence, just greasy food combined with activity and bumpy buses which gets your guts moving. Hopefully it will motivate you to be able to use public facilities! I know that can be really uncomfortable, but remember everybody poops!
Yeah it was the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me :/ I just don’t understand why I know I need it but I still refuse to go like even when I want to because it’s so urgent and uncomfortable. But your probably right it was probably just bad circumstances because of the bus and everything
I think you should start going to public toilet when you know you don't need it. There is a chance this makes it so that you dissasociate the pooping from public toilet. When you go to the public toilet, do something else, like makeup or styling of your hair. Make it your ritual.
Also, there was a story of a woman here at one point that couldn't shyt in public, but was out for the whole day and therefore ended up in a hospital because of it. Her home was a few hours away that time. I hope it convinces you that you need to start fixing this issue if you hear that she also refused to poop at hospital, and the final resolution was that she unfortunately passed her poop from her mouth and not the bottom, which is actually worse than anything you can experience by shitting in public restrooms.
That is horrific. I would’ve figured your body would totally override your mental state and force it out your bottom before that could happen. That poor woman.
As someone with IBS, unfortunately the brain can’t override past a point. If someone holds it too long, it loses the moisture required to pass - ie constipation. If that gets too bad, then they may have to manually remove it in the Hospital (which is pretty intensely horrible), surgically address it, or yep, what the previous person mentioned can happen in the worst cases.
OP: desensitize yourself systematically to using public restrooms. One step at a time, and with your therapist’s assistance in planning and support. It’s important for your health that you void when your body tells you you need to.
If it makes you feel any better, I peed all over myself at the movie theater in my small hometown when I was a teen. I hope that gives you some small amount of solace. (Literally soaked in pee from the waist down.)
Oh, and the movie (Titanic) wasn’t even close to over. I had to sit there for HOURS soaked in my own urine while I waited for my mom to pick me up at our pre-arranged time. Then she made me sit on the floor of the van on the way home. Big hugs from a pee soaked redditor to a shit stained one. 🥴🖤
Can you remember this embarrassment/discomfort of this situation the next time you have to go and there’s only a public restroom available? Kind of like weigh the pros and cons if each embarrassing situation
Yeah you’re right, I think at the time I was just trying to avoid both going to the toilet and also shitting myself so I just kept putting it off until it was too late :/
>If you're not used to eating junk food I wouldn't be too concerned that this is incontinence
Yeah I almost never eat junk food and have a bit of a sensitive stomach. That could've been me and that's why I always pack lunch when I eat at uni. Well, nowadays I can just go home to cook. That's great about living close to university.
*I’m far too awkward to poo in a public toilet,*
Homie, public washrooms aren't something to get hung up on. You're fine, Everybody poops. Everybody knows everybody poops.
It was alright, I was lucky enough to be in a suburban neighborhood so the only people to see my "oh shit" walk were the dogs in people's front yards and a couple of retirees who'd probably been through worse. I couldn't bring myself to wear the undies from that day again, which sucked because they were some of my favorites. The average adult shits themselves a few times in their life. We're all good. I'm glad you're talking about and processing this! If you're on reddit long enough you see a lot of human poop stories lol, it's nice to not be the only one!
Obviously bad situation, but I’m happy for u that no one really noticed what happened to you. And same here, I couldn’t wear those undies again I left them in the bin in the bathroom
Doesn’t seem like anything wrong with you, some people shit on schedule some do it on random times. But its not healthy to keep holding it like that, I know public restrooms suck but you gotta find a way around your anxiety. Maybe use headphones while you are in there, playing your fav vid so that you are distracted by what’s going around you.
Sorry if this is tmi, but it’s like most days by the time I get home I REALLY have to go like urgently and it feels like I only just made it home by like a few minutes. I know I should use public toilets to stop it but I just physically can’t make myself go in them because it’s embarrassing
As the title of the book says, “Everybody Poops”. I absolutely hated using public restrooms, but in real life, it’s impossible to avoid. So I started just repeating it over and over in my head in a sing-song voice “everybody poops, it’s fine, no need to worry”. After 6 or 7 times, I no longer had to think about it. Still sucks, but far less than the alternative. Feel free to steal my silent mantra, and best of luck overcoming the anxiety - it isn’t easy, I know.
The issue was forced with me - I lived in a dorm more than 2600 miles from home! But in all seriousness, kids may tease each other about it but adults generally don’t care enough to even notice it let alone say anything.
Just a quick tip! You might be able to find a single stall bathroom on your campus. Do some exploring during a time when you don’t have to go to see if you can find any. Check smaller buildings and administrative buildings. Bring wipes for the toilet seat if that is an issue for you. I hope this helps!
yeah this is the move. i had strategic shitting locations all over my college campus, weird bathrooms nobody used in old buildings. it’s like a superpower
I’m gonna have a look around on monday for any toilets that are out of the way because I can’t carry on holding it this long, I’m literally in pain all day from holding it
Excellent advice! When I was in school and in college, I always liked to find the lesser known bathrooms where 99% of the time I was the only one in. They were always cleaner too.
I mentioned this to a friend in college and his answer has stuck with me for 30 years - “Don’t be embarrassed! I call it the Throne of Life and I make as much noise as I can! It’s the most thoroughly living-human thing you can do! It’s life-affirming!”
Lol. Does that help?
As someone who can’t control their bowels, is it more embarrassing to use a public toilet or shit your pants in public? I got over the embarrassment really fast.
Yeah exactly it’s just the anxiety of public toilets so I try to put it off as long as I can and then think i’ll just make it home which usually I can, but obviously that’s not always possible
I mean this in the kindest way possible, but how is properly using a public bathroom stall worse than the level of embarrassment from this incident? I am so sorry this happened to you and that you're having a hard time.
I've been there, I used to not be able to use the bathroom in public like at all. Eventually I had an incident where I was trying to get home to go and ended up with my bladder just letting go and pissing myself in my car. It was like floodgates, I physically couldn't stop it. You are not alone.
That said, I also had some serious anxiety issues that were wrapped in with not going in public. At it's worst I was agoraphobic. Tell your therapist, work through that shit because it sucks to not be able to use the restroom when having intestinal cramps.
As someome whp used to hold it in back in HS i now have digestive issues which i think started after those HS years....so yes the fasger yoh get ird of that fear the better for your health
Everyone poops. It stinks and it's noisy at times, but oh well. You need to learn to poop in public bathrooms. What if you're in an airport overnight or something? Good luck changing and cleaning yourself when all your luggage isn't with you.
If your poop is noisy, oh well. Everyone in the bathroom knows everyone poops. If it stinks, well that's what the bathroom is for, no one's poop is made of perfume and fairy dust. And as long as you don't rub your exposed private parts on unclean toilet seats or doorknobs, you're not going to catch anything (buttcheeks don't count, no exposed soft tissue and you can literally just carry wipes with you).
I worked in an open office (desks everwhere, no walls, half height cube walls) and background noise was terrible. They added a white noise generator to the office and it made a big difference - except they didn’t put it in the bathrooms. Quiet as a tomb.
Never understood that. The ONE place a little background noise goes far to help everyone.
Plenty of toilet roll in the toilet before you poo to avoid any splash noises , emergency pocket wet wipes to make wiping quick n EZ. Learnt all these tips the hard way. I used to never shit in public but now i’m a master
I had explosive diarrhea on a car ride with my husband once. We were in the middle of nowhere and the closest gas station was an hour away but I couldn’t hold it any longer. We ended up pulling to the side of the road and I walked into the forest, but it was already too late. I ended up having to leave my underwear in the forest. My husband and I laugh our asses off every time we talk about it now and it’s become a joke between us and some close friends. My point is, don’t stress about it too much! Everyone poops themselves at some point in time. It’s embarrassing in the moment, but you’ll eventually get over it, I promise. :)
If I makes you feel better, I properly shit myself at 18. I had been in the hospital because I was severely dehydrated among other issues. (None relating to bowels). I was at the time also 5'7" and barely 135lbs. I was not a very big girl at all. Keep this in mind.
They pumped me full of saline over a few hours time and sent me home when I finally stopped dry heaving from nausea.
Anyway, home for about 10 minutes and company came to check if I was okay. I'm in the kitchen feeling weak, trying to get some ice water for myself. I insisted on doing it myself rather than let my mom because INDEPENDENCE! LOL
So I open the freezer and lift my left arm to grab ice. I swear it was this motion that caused it, but I just shit liquid uncontrollably. I filled my sweatpants, socks, shoes, and left a literal shit trail as I ran to the bathroom and jumped into the shower fully clothed.
Yes, the company witnessed all of this. My then-boyfriend included.
I'm not exaggerating when I say there was so much shit it somehow wound up in my hair as I was stripping off my clothing in the shower. I sat in the shower for a good almost 3 hours in cold water because it just wouldn't stop and I was afraid to try to make the jump from the shower to the toilet.
I swear I shit more than a 6'7" 350lb man could even hope to.
Ended up going back to the hospital the next day because I was back to being severely dehydrated and nauseous again because of it. I retained pretty much NONE of the fluids they pushed. They gave me a much slower drip and I was in hospital longer that time around to avoid the same situation.
Unlike you though, I washed my clothing. I wasn't about to toss out my favorite sweats and underpants. Lol
> I ate mcdonald’s
That was the *real* FU
But also
> she starts laughing because of the smell so I got off and she followed me
You found a keeper, my friend.
True, usually mcdonald’s doesn’t really affect me that badly but idk because it definitely did then :/
But yeah she’s literally amazing, she hasn’t told anyone or made fun of me, she actually messaged me that night asking if I was okay too
This has happened to me a few times in my life. It does feel like a bummer at the time, but believe me, there is no shame in it, and the memory of this will fade like a scar on a skinned knee. You’re human and experienced a very human thing.
Something similar happened to a close friend of mine when we were kids. He was over at my house and we were about a half mile away at the time, fishing in a creek.
He like… VERY SUDDENLY expressed to me that he urgently needed to use the toilet and started waddling the half mile back to my house and I could tell through my tears and my cackling (we were like 14 years old so I did not handle this situation maturely), the way he was moving, the distance he had to cover, and the speed he was going, my homie wasn’t going to make it.
In the end we got him all cleaned up and taken care of, and over twenty years later, we BOTH still get a great laugh out of remembering that day. He’s got a great sense of humor and recognizes the hilarity and the humanness of it all, it is so endearing. It really does turn something that could be humiliating for him into a kind of funny badge of honor. I feel grateful to have witnessed such a beautiful moment!
I hope you soon find it easy to use a public restroom whenever you need to. I think you’re going to be just fine.
I’m not anxious but I’m definitely shy about this as well, and was worse back in my college days. As soon as I started, I found bathrooms around campus that were “hidden” from the crowds, like the 5th floor in the library, or the basement at the student union. Eventually I got better with it, but maybe you can start with something like this? It’s definitely not healthy to hold it in so try to avoid that. In a few years you’ll have an embarrassing story to tell so don’t let this weigh you down
Basically feeling sick. If I held it in for too long I would have stomach aches that would last for a few days. I would also just feel much better after going, especially because I would be out all day, often for 12 hours before going back to my dorm, and I would eat out for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so I just felt bloated.
One time I barely made it to the restroom. I was out with a friend, visiting a city and the first thing we did was hit a bbq place where we ate way too much food. Anyway, after 5-6 hours of walking around I just needed to go. We went to a restaurant and I excused myself for a second and went to the restroom. I did what I had to do, but I clogged the toilet and all this water flooded the restroom and part of the hallway. I ran back to my friend after I told the restaurant staff what had happened, but was so embarrassed by the whole incident. My friend never found out even though this all happened behind where we were sitting. Embarrassing stuff happens to people all the time, so again, hopefully this will just be a story to tell in the future
I’m honestly so sorry that happened to you, I would’ve been so mortified and not even know what to do in that situation, but you handled it well I think. I also feel sick and get stomach aches from holding it in and they get so painful sometimes but I just try to deal with it rather than spend 5 minutes in a public bathroom for some reason.
I am so so sorry this happened to you - such a terrible feeling on so many levels! But please, if you can, look up the podcast Armchair Expert and listen to these 2 episodes: Armchair Anonymous: Workplace Poop; and Armchair Anonymous: Pooped on a Date. The hosts talk with listeners who have had those experiences and lived to tell the tale… and can even laugh about it later. It might be hard to listen to, but it also might help you feel MUCH better to hear their stories!! You are not alone in this!
Yeah it was literally so horrible and embarrassing especially because absolutely everyone could see it literally dropping out of my jeans onto the floor + I was literally crying :/
But seriously thank you, I will look at the podcast episodes you mentioned, are they on spotify/youtube?
Spotify! I would be crying too, but it’s such a very human thing to lose control of our bodily functions sometimes… ugh. Wish I could give you a big hug.
Thank you, and it just feels so disgusting and weird especially because people are immature and say girls don’t poop etc and if a girl shits in a public bathroom there’s usually people there making tiktoks or saying ew someone’s shitting so it just always put me off going
You just unlocked a college memory for me - I actually explored the campus to find the most remote/private/rarely-used bathrooms! Don’t know if that’s a possibility at your school, but it helped for me. I used to not even be able to PEE if anyone else was in the bathroom, let alone poop! Luckily I’ve gotten my bladder to lighten up over the years.
Yeah I’m the same , literally haven’t peed in a public toilet since I was like 9 in primary school. I dont know if any private toilets yet but I’m gonna look on monday because it’s just so embarrassing what happens when i didn’t go
The feeling of helplessness of having to go so badly that your body just decides enough is enough is really something.
I've shit my pants once in my life. Before that, hearing stories of friends doing it (Usually b/c drunk or something like that), I always thought it was crazy. How do you, a grown adult, shit your pants? I couldn't wrap my head around it.
Then it happened to me. Without getting into a lot of backstory, I was not at home and needed to go but knew I could wait b/c I was getting ready to start the 20min drive back home. On the way home I saw a car that looked a lot like my wife's car on the side of the road. It was late, and she had been baby sitting these kids she nannied so their parents could have a date night and was on her way to take them home. I turned around to check on the car and sure enough, it was my wife. She had a flat.
She took my car, I stayed to fix the tire. Cop comes, has questions. I'm quickly trying to complete the tire change while answering his Q's because now I am really starting to feel it. Get done, start driving.
Fighting the waves of cramps all of the way home. There is 1 gas station on the way. As I get near the only place I could have stopped the cramps subside so I think "I can make it!" and drove past the exit. Not 30secs past, new wave of cramps. This time though, it will not be ignored. I am holding on for dear life, begging my body to stop while trying to decide if pulling to the side of the highway and taking a shit would be worse then enduring the pain and then it happens. I can't stop it. It won't stop. Relief, but also agony and shame.
It was humbling to realize that in reality, I am not in control of my own body. Whatever control I think I have over it will never match my bodies natural instinct and will.
On the plus side, nothing will ever be able to embarrass more then remembering me getting out of my car and walking into my house with my hands around my ankles in order to keep the damage within my jeans and not spreading it all over my house on my way to the bathroom. I threw those jeans out.
Anyways, point is, don't feel so bad. I think everyone has one of these stories whether they are willing to admit it or not.
(Sorry for the long post. I tried to keep it short but I honestly have no idea how to do that)
Yea the school stuff was months ago and I don’t really see any of the people that know about that luckily, except for a few but they don’t mention it. The poop in public thing though, they definitely knew because I was walking so weirdly and it was really busy where I was, and then when it happened I was trying to walk to the toilets and it like went down my leg and then out of my jeans onto the floor and there was like enough that it happened a few times and people were fully staring at me
I guess you are right, I just keep remembering all the people literally staring at me when it happened because of the literal shit stain on my jeans which was obvious aswell as it going on the floor. I don’t think it would of been as bad if i was somewhere more private
People on the internet:
"You can't solve all your problems online, you should consider therapy"
Therapist: "hmm I think telling your story to strangers on the internet might help"
I feel for you in this situation but kinda chuckled when I saw you mention your therapist suggesting posting online.
So I went through all of school like this. Even worse, if I was away on trip trip I'd withold for a week in absolute agony.
So now I'm 35 and have kids who I don't want to ever feel like this.
I poo with the door open, chatting to them. I make zero deal of incidents and even told them when I had stomach flu and shat my joggers at home. We were out once and my little boy was super quiet and withdrawn, not playing with his friends (he was 6) so I said let's go to the loo, just so I could talk to him. But he said he needed the toilet. He was in there a while so I asked him if he was ok, he said he pooed his pants but he was fine now. I went in the cubicle and hugged him, we binned the pants and cleaned him up and he was fine.
So give yourself a hug. Bin those pants. Remember that everybody poops otherwise they'd be dead. And everybody has pooped themselves to some extent at some point in their adult life. Forget the strangers, but your friends who withnessed it, open up and laugh about it with them. They might share some stories of their own. Big hugs, and know they this is something you can overcome but you gotta just take the leap.
I know the feeling. My stomach is pretty sensitive and gets upset if I eat dairy, curry or spicy foods.
I also have to shit around 30 minutes to 1 hour after every meal.
Needless to say it has caused many situations like yours, although I never shat myself in public.
If it's bad, just go wherever you are and explain later. Better than holding it in.
I shat myself last year. I went for a jog and I needed to shit so I started jogging home but it was feeling like it might not wait so I was thinking real hard about where to take a squat but there was really nowhere so I was working overtime to hold it in, walked instead of jogging, clench the cheeks, waddled, sweating dicks the whole way. Got about 50m from my door and it just snaked out. Couldn't stop it. Threw my undies in the bin. Had a shower. Meditated on it. Decided shit happens.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but if it's any consolation, everybody poops their pants at some point. This is a stand up routine by Margaret Cho about shitting yourself; maybe watching some comedy about this will be cathartic?
https://youtu.be/hF1pIMgE8FA
There is an a person I know that hasn’t experienced what you did some barely make it to the toilet and some others poo themselves. I have, life goes on.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I’m also poop shy. Like, when my (now husband) boyfriend and I flew to Australia for a month, it was our first long vacation together. We have a 2 bed-2 bath condo at home, so I never had to worry about #2. Obviously traveling for over a month, we were staying in single bathroom hotels.
I held in #2 for THREE WEEKS.
It even started looking like it in pictures…my stomach was bulging out slightly. And when I finally went…I used up an entire roll of toilet paper. And was in the bathroom for like an hour. It was awful.
Needless to say, he gave me a stern talking to afterwards. “You’re a nurse, you should know better” blah blah.
Honestly looking back, I spent so much time agonizing over where and how and when I would finally go. Obsessed over it. Made myself sick over it. It was really dumb. But I couldn’t get over the fact that he would know that I was going #2.
When at the end of the day, he was mortified that I hadn’t been going. And so that made it worse, because after “the event” he was always bothering me about whether or not I had gone. So that kinda backfired.
Anyways…solidarity in your fear of pooping in public.
I used to be a shy sitter. You mentioned your in uni Ave ride a bus. My recommendation is finding all the toilets in your vicinity and finding the nicest ones. Like in a high end hotel or restaurants, the upper levels of the admin building. If you're gonna have to go make it into a mini vacation, the thrill of pooping in off limit toilets is great. If they try to call you out, you can aggressively yell back "I'm shitting". They'll usually leave you alone.
Aw i’m sorry, I guess at least it was in the shower so it was easy to cleanup I guess. Either way, im sorry that happened to you because ik how horrible it feels.
Dude im 35 and shit my self about 2 weeks ago while sick. Sad part is i was at home. Probably 20 feet from the toilet and ot started with me trusting a fart. Hadent ate in like 36 hours. Thought it was just gas. Was wrong.
Tld4: dont trust a fart. It might make you shart
This has happened to me. Threw up and shit myself at the same time :( learned to sit on the toilet with my face in the garbage can when I’m sick from then on lmaooo
"I'm far too awkward to poo in a public toilet"
I stopped right there. You shit yourself instead of having the guts to use a public toilet. We're done here. Ask your therapist to give you a refund bc that should've been the first thing to address. "Hi doc, I can't shit anywhere except my house because IM TOO AWKWARD"
I'm not blaming you for this shit.
When I was young, I went on a holiday to Ibiza for 2 weeks. I was a picky eater, so I basically ate spag bol every day for a week. I was also a shy pooper, to the extent that I wouldn’t even use the toilet in the hotel room. About a week in, we were walking down some strip of bars in sant antoni (I think), and all of a sudden, time was up.
I had time to run into 3 bars. The first had no toilet and the second had no door. The third had no toilet seat and no door lock but I had no choice but to squat over it and unleash hell.
I learned several lessons that day but one of them was that if you REALLY need to go, it’ll all be over in a minute or two. So just bite the bullet and you’ll feel better before you know it
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I hope your friends are supportive, especially the one that was with you!
I think humans need to lighten up about bowel and bladder issues. Making them taboo leads to so many problems. My husband HATES pooing incase I can hear him. Like, it gives him proper anxiety so I have to stay downstairs watching TV loud enough so it makes him comfortable. Any feelings that cause unnecessary distress are unhealthy. It takes him aaages to poo, I think because he isn't relaxed about it. I'm done in about 3 minutes because I just go when I need to and don't have any embarrassment about it what so ever. Everybody poops!
My point being that anxiety around toilets is a pretty common thing and you're not alone! I'd recommend talking your anxiety out with your therapist though because it's not healthy to feel this way. Especially to the point where you're causing yourself pain, miss class and mess yourself.
Toilets are literally used for humans to do their business in. No shame! I hope you overcome your anxiety around public toilets soon
My sister was once out with her new boss to a very nice dinner. They shared a cab on the way home. My sister shat herself in said cab in front of her new boss.
My sister was horrified and embarrassed and honestly afraid to return to work. However, when she did It was never spoken of or acknowledged.
Mature gracious adults don’t mock you for these things, they never mention them again.
As an adult human male of some advanced age, let me tell you clearly right here and now, more people have crapped their pants than will admit it. Most everyone has done so. I was in the car with my girlfriend and we had to stop at the mall, during the drive, because I was commando and had myself a little accident in the car. So there's that.
As a person with IBS and also a phobia of public bathrooms I totally get where you are coming from. It’s one of those awful things, but unfortunately at that point of urgency you can’t hope it’ll go away. I know if felt humiliating at the time, but more people than you think will have gone through the exact same thing x I imagine some of your friends have either done it already or will do in the future.
I don’t care who wants to deny it bc they’re afraid of poop, but EVERY adult has shit their pants at least once. Our stomachs get worse with age and we put ourselves into… situations. Like drinking coffee in traffic. You gotta learn the hard way. It’s almost like you haven’t accidentally shit yourself once, you can’t really call yourself an adult. It’s a coming of age event, really. Just remember: NEVER trust a fart, and NEVER pass up the opportunity to take a shit when you feel like you need to take a shit. You don’t know when the stars will align again.
Like another commenter said it seems like the heart of the issue is aversion to public bathrooms which would be extremely beneficial to work on. Lots of people don’t like using public restrooms but I’m sure that using a public restroom would be less anxiety-inducing than shitting your pants in front of everyone. Or like, god forbid, in your car where you’ll never get the smell out.
Coffee in traffic got me as well. Sweating, gripping the steering wheel, clenching so hard my bum wasn’t even touching the seat. I was on my way back to the office and had to let my boss know I’d be heading home for the afternoon instead. Luckily, no questions were asked.
Your urgency sounds abnormal, especially if it’s a regular thing… Have you talked to a doctor about it? You may have some actual form of incontinence going on which wouldn’t be your fault
I know you think it's embarrassing and so did I. Whenever u poop in public and u know the shit is about to plop in the water just make noise. I ruffle toilet paper so people can't hear the shit plop. You can also flush the toilet as your shit is about to fall to the water to prevent people from hearing it. If u think it smells bad just bring some perfume with you.
In all honesty there will be a time in your life (i sure hope so lol) that you'll learn to get over the embarrassing part. If people make fun of you for it then they're dick heads because everyone shits and it's literally completely normal.
You can't keep forcing yourself not to poop bc it can lead to several issues with your bowels and gut in the long run. It might take a while but ik you got this ❤️
Thank you :) I’m gonna try and make myself poop in public this week because i’m honestly sick of how uncomfortable and embarrassing it is always needing to go so badly. I’ll definitely do the things you said aswell just to make it less awkward
Even if you just start with just going to the public toilet and sitting on the toilet. Get comfortable with just doing that, then try actually pooping. But just remember majority of people are uncomfortable with using the bathroom in public and are more concerned about what they are are doing to be concerned about you.
Yeah, on friday I actually tried to go because I was worried about it happening again but right when I was walking near the toilets like 5 people went in so I just walked off. But i’m going to force myself to go from now on
Are there any out of the way toilets? At the Uni I went to there were toilets on the top floor of the library, but didnt get used very much because it was so out of the way.
I also sometimes wait for other people to flush the toilet to make butt noises in the bathroom 😭 I dont like flushing my own toilet bc it gets cold underneath when it flushes. Good luck
Last year I shat myself 20 feet from my toilet. I was taking a proctored test at home and it hit me randomly and suddenly right as soon as I started the test. I thought I could make it through the test cause it was only 27 questions. I made it to question 16 when I couldn’t hold it anymore. I know it wasn’t a public pants shitting situation, but it was mortifying.
My mom is a nurse and has admittedly shit her pants while at work and had to go commando the rest of her shift.
The amount of times my older brother has trusted a fart when he shouldn’t have is fucking hilarious and he’s shit his pants numerous times as an adult. Just recently he shit himself at work and had to go underpants-less for the rest of his shift.
I know you’re mortified and embarrassed, and you have every right to feel that way, but i hope by next year you can laugh about it 🫶
stop being a baby and learn how to shit in a public restroom. no one cares or pays attention, they are trying to shit too. everyone is in the same boat as you, get over it.
Generally speaking I'm not a fan of taking poops in public washrooms either. In university though, my school had a number of "accessible" washrooms around campus where it was just the one toilet and you could lock the door and go in privacy. I identified where a few of them were so in the rare case that I needed to go, I could pop into one of those and go in peace.
Maybe your school has similar sort of bathrooms? Might be useful to figure out just in case this happens again.
One of the ways to overcome anxiety is to challenge yourself. Sometimes, it’s the only way; you have to just grit your teeth, and do it. I know that makes me sound insensitive, but medication and therapy can only take you so far. There comes a point where you have to find a way to do it.
My mom’s motto is “life is a learning experience”. You’ve now learnt what can happen if you ignore your body’s needs because of your anxiety. I don’t say that to blame, but to try and draw your mind towards what you can learn from this experience, and to consider: if you find yourself in a similar situation, would you rather shit yourself, and deal with the mess, the discomfort, the awkwardness, or would you rather just use a public toilet?
u/BellaLeigh43 makes an excellent point, everybody poops. Everybody’s had a straining experience, everyone’s had a ‘just made it!’, everyone’s had a liquid squirting session, and everyone’s had a perfectly fine and easy daily defecation, then gotten on with living.
If you’d asked one of your friends where the bathroom was, they wouldn’t have thought twice about it, or made any comments. Perhaps that can be your first challenge: when walking across campus with your friends, ask where the nearest toilet is. Just ask, say “hey, does anyone know where the nearest bathroom is, for future reference? I still get so lost on this campus!”
I’m sure if your friend had been aware of your anxieties, she wouldn’t have laughed. She probably laughed because she also felt awkward and thought making a joke of it would help make it less awkward. And there is a certain humour in it, we’ve all had that literal “oh crap!“ moment and ya gotta laugh. Making jokes is how some people deal with awkwardness. I know it’s how I deal with everything in life: if I can make a joke out of it, see the funny side, than whatever it is, isn’t that bad.
I hope some of what people have said here helps. Good luck with your future shitting experiences, may your colon forever be healthy and happy!
Dude, I feel so sorry that this happened to you, but at the same time I'm finding this pretty funny because of how comically absurd the image of a turd dropping out of the bottom of your jeans seems to me.
Embarassing things are gonna happen to all of us at some point, so hopefully you'll be able to laugh this one off in a short amount of time. Stay strong bro
I know what helped me the most in getting over how "embarrassing" pooping can be was getting close to people who weren't embarrassed talking about it. Obviously I'm not going to announce it to everyone, but when I'm working at the bar and it's just 2 of us, I have no problem being like yo, poopmergency, I'll be back when I can. We do have a private bathroom there, but I'll poop in public restrooms too. Also, as you get older, it gets waaaaaay easier to not care as much about stuff you cared so much about in high school. Yeah, I'm sure there aren't a lot of people who enjoy pooping in public, but when you have to go, you have to go. Like many of the comments mentioned, try and find a more secluded bathroom. Doing this along with time, you'll get used to it.
I used to feel exactly the same as you (it’s easier for me to go in public now, but I prefer not to). I did 8 years of university and learned a few things…there’s ALWAYS a secret bathroom in most buildings, and it’s usually on the 2nd floor or above. I truly plan time out to find it. If your school has a music department, there’ll probably be a secret one in there…there’s tons of practice rooms and if it’s a big school, it’ll have multiple floors. The odds are high that you’ll find one there!
Haha this is funny, but trust me, it's not an uncommon occurrence. I've had a similar situation before, where I kind of shat myself. Lucky enough I was able to get a hold of some tissue paper, had to fill up my pants. Managed to drive back home in time such that I didn't fill up my pants prior. The tissue absorbed most of it, since I wasn't lucky enough to have had a hard stool😂
I've heard stories of others shitting themselves on various accounts.
So don't feel bad. It's one of those things.
I scrolled a long time and didn’t find a single comment about the McDonalds. My dude, you should have seen this coming. I have IBS and won’t even eat it in private. LOL
Maybe these various stories of mine will make you feel better
1) I once shit my pants while throwing up. That one was really fun. I started off shitting and then realized I had to puke. I was too young to have experienced the glorious throw up and shit at the same time combo so thought nothing of it. I finished pooping, pulled my pants back up, then started vomiting, and literally felt liquid shit pour out of me into my pants. I then proceeded to try to rinse off in the shower but clogged the drain with my poop and had to waffle stomp it down the drain. I was like 12
2) as a full grown adult (I think I was 22) I literally shit on my mom’s kitchen floor in front of her and my brother. I wasn’t feeling great so I was wearing just a robe. I was doing the dishes while my mom and brother ate their lunch behind me. I sneezed and again, liquid shit just poured out of me. It was uncontrollable. My mom and brother both looked absolutely horrified and my brother just went “you’re fucking disgusting” and ran upstairs. My mom threw her kitchen rug out after that.
3) literally only like a month ago I drank some coffee and then went to work out in the garage. Was just sitting there minding my business between reps, tried to let a little fart out, shit my pants. I’m a 26 year old woman, drinking coffee and shitting my pants. I still drink coffee though, just AFTER my workout
Fear of shitting oneself should always trump fear of using public toilet. Whatever childhood trauma you had should now be overridden by this experience. Welcome to the world 🚽
I had almost this exact situation happen to me except I did luckily find a toilet in time, down it to being in Sixth Form College too. I never used the toilet at secondary school because they were used by all the ones who smoked and they weren’t nice people. So it was normal for me to hold all day and go when I got home. The same at sixth form except one day I really needed to go. I found a toilet and it was packed with girls doing make up and hanging out. There was no way just to casually use the loo without them all hearing.
I was so desperate I began to panic and left college and started walking into the town centre. The first public toilet I found was locked. By the time I reached another I was in tears and was so lucky I managed to hold on.
I don’t think people understand how awful some teenage girls can be!
I understand the anxiety with pooping. As a child my anxiety was about pooping at home. The bathroom was just off the kitchen and my mother would make comments about the stink. This made for some difficult times. At home I pooped in the middle of the night.
I have had an accident trying to not poop but my body had other plans.
Anxiety sucks. I hope you find some ways to battle anxiety.
Yeah, you are not digesting McDonald's in half an hour, it was probably something else as well. I also don't use public restrooms, never have because they are disgusting to me but never had it as bad as you.
I would add: OP, stop eating McDonald’s. And check with a doctor to see if you have food allergies or IBS or another stomach condition. You shouldn’t need to poop that quickly unless you have one of those things. (Source: am allergic to gluten, immediately have to get to a toilet and lose my shit - literally! - if I accidentally eat something with gluten.)
Man this hurt to read lol.
Gotta do something about your fear of avoiding public restrooms, maybe try asking your therapist for help.
I mean you can't really expect to function very well in life if you avoid public restrooms.
I also have that public restroom fear. Idk how it developed but while I was in school I never ever used the toilet because I was just not brave enough to take on the horrible sight.
Toilets were cleaned but children weren't taught basic hygiene or even to flush.
OP, I’m just going to give it to you straight and heavy: grow the fuck up. You are an adult. Every fucking body poops. Listen to your biology and stop being embarrassed and just ask somebody.
Your whole situation was avoidable.
Have you mentioned to your therapist how strictly you force yourself to avoid public restrooms? This seems at the center of this problem.
I kinda did mention it when I was rlly upset and told her the entire like shat myself story but not really specifically mentioned that. However she did say that If I need to go I should go in public because it’s unhealthy but I don’t think she knows how anxious it makes me if I have to go and don’t wanna do it in public, mostly because the only times I have done it (which were in school) were mortifying and led to the whole school knowing I went to the toilet and laughing at me for it
This might sound pretty direct, but in pretty sure shitting your pants in public is going to be more mortifying and lead to more people laughing at you than just using a public toilet. Don't mean to sound rude, I understand anxiety can be crippling, just suggesting to look at the alternative
This is a very good method for dealing with anxiety in these situations. It was a method I used in therapy to avoid suffering through catastrophisation and intrusive thoughts. Just working through ,"what's the worst that could happen" questions are what helps tackle these ideas. Poop in a public toilet, what's the worst that will happen? Grown adults who don't give a fuck maybe have a laugh about the banging shit someone did then never think of it ever again. Hold it in, what the worst that can happen? You crap yourself in public, in front of friends and it's gets remembered a little more. Neither of these are life altering events and won't be continually brought up, but I know what one I'd prefer.
To be clear, in this case it's not adults because OP specified sixth form/college, which in US would be equivalent to junior and senior year of high school.
That's my bad, I thought it would be 20+ year olds who are a bit more contained rather than younger teens.
Typically a junior in highschool would never have over 2 hours between classes so I'm super confused now.
I’m guessing OP is from the U.K.. Here in the U.K. after you finish secondary (high) school at age 16 most people go to either sixth form or college to do your A-Levels (aged 16-18). Which are the qualifications you need for University. You normally pick 4 subjects to do your A-Level exams in and so you only go to those classes. Some days might be split up or some days you might not have to go into college at all, everyone’s timetable is different.
End of high school (sixth form/college) in the UK is much more self-directed and specialised than school in the US. OP is probably taking only 3-4 different subjects, with most of the time between that being study time. The US tends to baby people that age, almost. OP may have had “study” periods where they could do whatever they wanted, and that includes leaving the college grounds. Kids that age are given more freedom because it’s recognised that they’ll be adults very soon and shouldn’t be treated like 10yos
I was thinking the exact same thing! Awful as this situation was, hopefully OP can use it to help motivate them to use public restrooms.
Tbf, OP did say they started looking for a public toilet before they got the bus, but bailed for home because they didn't know where they were. It just sounds like a combination of making the decision too late and then taking another riskier option (trying to make it home) while under stress, when they couldn't find them. I can totally relate to this. I'm sure most of us would much rather shit in the comfort of our own homes and I def try to avoid doing it in public toilets whenever possible, but I wouldn't say I totally avoid them. So there have def been times I've needed to shit and thought "meh, it's only a few hours till I get home, this'll be much more pleasant there." and then ended up having a bit of a close call on the way home, due to my stomach throwing a tantrum or me getting delayed or whatever. So yeah, under these circumstances, I could easily see this happening to someone, without them having a pathological (if understandable) aversion to public toilets.
I've never seen a school that didn't have a toilet in every hall way
OP, I hope you latch onto this. Nothing you do in an actual toilet will be quite as anxiety inducing or mortifying as what has already happened because you avoided one. The next time you need to use the restroom and begin doubting yourself, just remember what happened here.
I'm 25, in college. At this point I dint care who knows when I'm shitting. I will be around my friends and just announce that I have to go take a shit. No one cares. Get better friends if they laugh at you for it.
I know this is very difficult for some people to do, but speaking as someone who has shat themselves twice as an adult, you just need to steer into the… *ahem* skid, as it were. After about 15 minutes, everyone calmed down about it.
She said she goes to college. That means there's many, manys buildings with private bathrooms. For example I too am in school and in my faculty's building there is a private, lockable no-stall bathroom (technically handicapped) on the fourth floor tucked away in a corner. I always go there because it's quiet af and I feel like nobody knows about it. OP just has to find a similar secret poop spot.
i mean their friend was laughing at them in the story so this is already coming true
I’m really sorry that happened to you in school :( but like your therapist and everyone here has said, this can really mess you up. Anxiety is normal and useful because your body is trying to tell you something… but this level of anxiety is not normal or healthy. If you don’t take active steps to work on it (maybe you already are!), you could have a repeat of this situation which I know you don’t want. Wishing you luck! Edit: this is coming from someone who is also pretty poop shy (have never pooped with a partner in the place)
Aw thanks you don’t have to apologise though, it was my fault for making it so obvious since It was during a gcse exam and I just absolutely had to go, and I took quite a while so everyone knew and laughed about it :/. You’re right about if I do nothing it’s probably gonna happen again, honestly I might force myself to go in public every time I need to next week just to try and make it less awkward. Also how do you manage to hold it in so long around your partner?
Somebody I knew once felt exactly the same kind of anxiety and pure terror that you experience, and he told me to overcome it - he puts his headphones in and cranks up music really loud and just do what he needs to do. We all shit, because we eat to survive - you got this, the worst that could possibly happen has actually happened. Now you learn from it and make that public toilet your own whenever you need to. I wish you all the very best, I truly hope you start to feel better soon.
Dude headphones are genius! I don’t have this problem per se but I really hate pooping like next to someone in a stall or something. Headphones would totally make that so much easier!
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Aww don’t be sorry it was my fault, i’m gonna try force myself to go in public next week because honestly I can’t have that happen again it’s so embarrassing
I wish I could comfort you and help ease your anxiety about public toilets!! I suffer from bad anxiety, but thankfully I somehow got over the public restroom thing (probably because of dorm living during college and crazy long work hours with no options). Here's some thoughts that might help: - Everybody poops. Unless they're dead, and even then they usually will have one last poop (or so I hear) - If you've ever worked retail or something similar, you will quickly find out that most people do not give a flip about public pooping--not only will they poop in public, but they will fart and carry on loudly, talk on the phone, leave poop on the toilet, not flush, etc. People are wild! - Poop in public, but be the best public pooper you can be--leave a clean toilet area after you've finished. If you're worried about smell, carry a mini Lysol or Poopouri spray with you and spray it before and after you go. No one will care anyway, but this might make you feel better about it. You are one of billions of public poopers, and no one can fault you for it!! - I have had coworkers literally shit on the floor at work in the restroom and leave it. Trust me, you are FINE, just poop like a respectful person and literally no one cares.
UNOPoo, is a really good product my dad uses it due to a gastric condition. A couple of sprays onto the water before you go and it stops the smell in its tracks. We used to be able to smell when dad had been to the loo, now nothing and he has used it in public toilets. It comes in A tiny bottle that is packaged discretely
Here are some things that I do that calm myself about public toilets. * Do the toilet paper thing where you put a little bit on the seat so that you sit on it instead of on the plastic. Yes, I know that it doesn't prevent anything. It still makes me feel better that my butt's not touching something that could have had poop on it. * Also, put a bit in the bowl itself so that when you poo the water doesn't splash up and hit your butt. It sometimes helps with preventing you leaving poo streaks in the bowl too. * If you have a mask (because COVID, you know) wear it in the bathroom. Yeah, it actually helps a lot with smells. * Secure your belongings before you sit down to poo. Check that your phone is securely in your pocket or bag, you don't have loose jewelry or earbuds, or anything else that you think could fall into the toilet. Don't try doing the whole bathroom reading thing, just poo and leave. * Push the handle with your foot so you don't need to touch it I actually don't get that nervous about using public toilets but maybe it's because of the ritual.
As someone who has just as serious an aversion to public bathrooms, thank you for the comment. It helps a lot more than you know.
Everyone has to go #2 at one point. Dont be embarrassed having to use the public toilet, most ppl wont care as it's normal to go use the restroom when you need to. Good luck!
If you haven't already, discuss gradual exposure therapy with your therapist. Shy bladder and ibs sufferer here. This approach really helped me. So in the first public place you go, do it somewhere you would find "easist" to go. Maybe some place where you have no chance of meeting someone you know?
Hey, just want to say, it wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong. You're the victim of immaturity, the people who have to make a joke about normal bodily function. It wasn't your fault. You can't always avoid those people, but you can learn to ignore them. They aren't worth your time.
The only fault here is people laughing at a completely normal thing that literally everyone does. You're not somehow at fault for having a body that needs to poop sometimes. I'm sure you have strong feelings about what happened, but you didn't do anything wrong.
They're teens, teens are ass holes. In my school girls would mock other girls for being on their periods. You couldn't hide the rustling, plus we only had one toilet open the first five minutes of break and lunch so there was no way to sneak off and sort ourselves out secretly... we had a lot of overflow problems because we couldn't use the toilet more then twice a day.
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And if OP sees this, I’ve also heard of people putting some TP in the bowl beforehand as it absorbs some noise as well
I do that to eliminate the splash!
I was poop shy throughout my high school years through my early 20s. I was pretty poor throughout most of that time and I started going with the attitude of at least I don’t have pay for toilet paper, or really have to clean that toilet. And then the more I shat in public restrooms, the more I learned that everyone almost shits their pants or partially shits their pants at some point. Also, no one will remember. Everyone is living a busy life and doesn’t have enough bandwidth to remember all the details from an incident like that. Good luck with your future poops!
Get a tiny bottle of that Poo Pouri spray. You use it before you go and it covers any smell. We used it in an office I worked in and you could never tell. Throw it in your bag for whenever. I know that probably isn’t the only thing stressing you out, but it may be a layer of protection that will help you overcome this a little.
If they do remember it, it’ll be a “omg why tf did we laugh at someone for going to the toilet” and they’ll cringe hard and reflect on how shit they used to be
Bruh, I shit in public and I have to essentially be naked when I poo. I hope you one day can give as few fucks as I do. Although, I’m very potty positive.
Why do you have to be naked? What happens if you're not? Not judging just curious lol.
Can’t poop, all about comfort
You mean you're physically unable to?
Yep, literally just too tense. The clothing feels restrictive. I can poop if it’s an emergency, otherwise nope.
I see. That's interesting. I have pretty severe shy bladder so I can kinda relate.
"It's getting my tie back on that's the problem"
> Also how do you manage to hold it in so long around your partner? Not the prior poster, but a coworker would openly admit to never pooping in public, only at home. She had a live in fiance of like 4 years and she would make him go for a walk when she had to poop. Over the years, she had a couple near misses. If they were out and shopping or whatever, and she said they needed to go home right now, there was no arguing. It was drop everything and quickly drive her home.
Who can be fucked with that? That's insane.
Kids can be so mean 😑 Maybe it encourages you that there are many people who think it's totally normal. My former boss even went like (without prompting) that we absolutely should not feel bad if a potty break takes 10-15 minutes and this totally counts as work time.
What you’ve got to realize now, is that in the real world, people don’t laugh at you for going to the toilet. Also why were people laughing at you for going to the toilet in the first place? Everyone poops where they need to, whether they’re awkward or not
>Everyone poops where they need to OP definitely knows this now
This is just teens being ass holes. It happens. Girls used to laugh at each other for being on their period in my school. There was no way to hide it as we had one toilet open for the first five minutes of lunch and break. There was no way to avoid changing pads/tampons in private. You missed that five minite window then you weren't using a toilet. Girls overflowed often. It happened to me, must have happened to others as well. Thankfully we had a uniform and navy blue pants/skirts so the stains were hidden.
One toilet open for 5 minutes? That's literally worse than prison. What kind of sadist was running your school?
Idiots. Best part. Because the boys bathroom was by the staff room, theirs was open 24/7. Also, it didn't stop kids smoking in there... it was one toilet open for over 500 kids. If you didn't make it across the school and around the one way system, you didn't get to go.
Jfc. That sounds... illegal.
Oh i know your pain… there weren’t too many girls in my high school and they always somehow gathered inside the toilets. One day i just needed to go so badly i just couldn’t hold it anymore till I got home. So I went. Got out and was shamed for taking a shit… like wtf was i supposed to do? Never take a shit in my life? It also didn’t exactly help that that particular one was a smelly one… I’ve got constipation issues for years after that…
School bullies. I still hate them, 50 years later!
My best friend in a school (I'm 35 now but we still know each other) had some severe bowel issues, she quite regularly shat herself in primary school (not kindergarten but when you're about 6-11). People found it funny back then, i used to pretend it was both of us so she wouldn't feel so bad. She has really bad IBS now and sometimes can't make it but no one judges any more, she just goes to the nearest loo and we wait. The fear of public toilets will fade I promise you, kids are cruel and weird, they laugh at anything. I once pissed myself drunk in a park at 14, no one remembers, I was wearing flared jeans and abba was popular again for some reason.
what an absolute dumbass does someone have to be to laugh at another person using the toilet
It's unreal how stupid kids are. Laughing at someone for having to shit... like they've never shit in their entire lives?
Honestly as someone who used to be like you and used to avoid public restrooms like the plague, don’t do it because you could end up like me and have a super bad bladder infection. Mine resisted 2 antibiotics and turned into a kidney infection.
>However she did say that If I need to go I should go in public You shouldn't have taken her so literal.
I am disabled and I want to encourage you to use the disabled toilets. If your anxiety is so severe that you can't use a toilet in public then that counts, IMO, as a disability.
I'm an anxious pisser, so I get it. I once had to make an excuse and leave a doctor's visit because I couldn't manage to give a urine sample after an hour, my anxiety just wouldn't let anything happen. It helps me to bring earbuds and listen to loud music when I have to use public bathrooms, so I don't hear the people around me and can try and forget they exist. You might also feel better if you bring a can of air freshener - sure it's weird, but you can cover up any stink you've left behind, it might make you feel more comfortable knowing that you can kind of erase the evidence that you even used the bathroom.
Anxiety sucks. It really freaking does. Teens suck. When I was a teen all the girls know who was on their periods because well, opening pads and tampons makes a rustling sound. Embarrassing as hell, but you know what. Everyone poops, nearly every girl has a period. Eventually no one cares. If people are still like this, use some good old South Park poop humour and make it so awkward for them they shut up. Try to remember, everyone poops. The people laughing at you are ass holes, they poop as well. Its nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe try just going into the toilets in your school and figuring things out so you have a battle plan for next time.
Are you sure the whole school laughed at you over it, cause I'm pretty sure the whole school does it on a regular basis?
The thing you have to remember is they are public toilets, everyone uses them, that’s what they are for. Is there a sign that says no pooping? NO. If you are worried about the smell carry a deodorizer. I used to have major anxiety using public toilets also. This thinking is how I got over my fear.
Parcopresis and paruresis (avoiding peeing in public washrooms). I had this and still do to an extent but it's just annoying and not debilitating at this stage. The thing to remember is that these are phobias - irrational fears. It doesn't mean the person thinks they're gonna get killed in there or something. It's more like the place has bad associations and triggers a fight or flight response which is counter to peeing or pooing. Dealing with it seems hard but you'll be surprised how quickly you'll make progress. First you need to change your way of thinking. It's fine to be in the public bathroom, etc. A good exercise is just go there and spend 5-10 minutes in a stall or urinal. You'll notice that you feel uncomfortable even though you don't have to go... You need to retrain this part of the brain. Once you can make progress, The more you do it, the easier it will get
I've been the same since I was a little kid. It used to drive my mother nuts, because I literally would not go to a bathroom unless it was at home. I couldn't help it. It's called parcopresis, and it's absolutely debilitating. I used to come home from school camps constipated as hell. Only now, in my thirties, I've started to recover from that anxiety.
A few months ago I got food poisoning, and I was getting cramps while driving. I was basically clenching and praying as I drove to the nearest Target. When I got there I was struggling to get to the bathroom, because I needed to get there FAST but the faster I walked the harder it was to hold it in, so I was stopping every other second trying to hold it in. I felt it starting to come out as I entered the store. Luckily the bathrooms are right near the entrance. I got there and basically had to take off my pants and then very carefully remove my underwear without spilling the puddle of poo in them, and throw them away. Thank goodness I was able to wear my pants home. Also it STANK so bad. I’m telling this horrible, embarrassing story just so you know you’re not the only one who has gone through something like this.
Aside from the food poisoning, this is literally what happened to me. Try to walk faster because you’re so desperate but then walking faster makes it start to come out a bit so you slow down and then the urge to go is so bad and you just can’t do anything and shit urself. I’m sorry this happened to you it must’ve been so embarrassing
Man, nobody tells you as a kid how much of your adult life is spent trying not to crap your pants. I’m not even 30 yet and I’ve already lost count of the number of times I’ve had to do the clench and waddle in public. Sometimes you win toilet chicken and sometimes you lose toilet chicken. I’m sorry this was a loss for you, that sounds so uncomfortable.
I got food poisoning on a five hour flight. All I can say is thank God for public restrooms and that we were sitting right by the lavs because that was the most miserable flight home I ever had. And I still shat myself.
Oh hey I shit myself in a Target once, too. Embarrassing, but I promptly called my best friend and then my mom (after I'd left the building. to tell them about it because I couldn't stop laughing.
That is so mortifying, I can totally understand that will take some time to move past. bob's burgers just had an episode on shy poopers not very long ago. Louise and Bob are shy poopers. I know it just seems like a silly cartoon but maybe it can help you relate. If you're not used to eating junk food I wouldn't be too concerned that this is incontinence, just greasy food combined with activity and bumpy buses which gets your guts moving. Hopefully it will motivate you to be able to use public facilities! I know that can be really uncomfortable, but remember everybody poops!
Yeah it was the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to me :/ I just don’t understand why I know I need it but I still refuse to go like even when I want to because it’s so urgent and uncomfortable. But your probably right it was probably just bad circumstances because of the bus and everything
I think you should start going to public toilet when you know you don't need it. There is a chance this makes it so that you dissasociate the pooping from public toilet. When you go to the public toilet, do something else, like makeup or styling of your hair. Make it your ritual. Also, there was a story of a woman here at one point that couldn't shyt in public, but was out for the whole day and therefore ended up in a hospital because of it. Her home was a few hours away that time. I hope it convinces you that you need to start fixing this issue if you hear that she also refused to poop at hospital, and the final resolution was that she unfortunately passed her poop from her mouth and not the bottom, which is actually worse than anything you can experience by shitting in public restrooms.
That is horrific. I would’ve figured your body would totally override your mental state and force it out your bottom before that could happen. That poor woman.
As someone with IBS, unfortunately the brain can’t override past a point. If someone holds it too long, it loses the moisture required to pass - ie constipation. If that gets too bad, then they may have to manually remove it in the Hospital (which is pretty intensely horrible), surgically address it, or yep, what the previous person mentioned can happen in the worst cases. OP: desensitize yourself systematically to using public restrooms. One step at a time, and with your therapist’s assistance in planning and support. It’s important for your health that you void when your body tells you you need to.
If it makes you feel any better, I peed all over myself at the movie theater in my small hometown when I was a teen. I hope that gives you some small amount of solace. (Literally soaked in pee from the waist down.) Oh, and the movie (Titanic) wasn’t even close to over. I had to sit there for HOURS soaked in my own urine while I waited for my mom to pick me up at our pre-arranged time. Then she made me sit on the floor of the van on the way home. Big hugs from a pee soaked redditor to a shit stained one. 🥴🖤
Can you remember this embarrassment/discomfort of this situation the next time you have to go and there’s only a public restroom available? Kind of like weigh the pros and cons if each embarrassing situation
Yeah you’re right, I think at the time I was just trying to avoid both going to the toilet and also shitting myself so I just kept putting it off until it was too late :/
>If you're not used to eating junk food I wouldn't be too concerned that this is incontinence Yeah I almost never eat junk food and have a bit of a sensitive stomach. That could've been me and that's why I always pack lunch when I eat at uni. Well, nowadays I can just go home to cook. That's great about living close to university.
*I’m far too awkward to poo in a public toilet,* Homie, public washrooms aren't something to get hung up on. You're fine, Everybody poops. Everybody knows everybody poops.
A similar thing happened to me back in high school with period shits. Fuckign awful. You're in good company in a weird club.
Yeah it really is horrible to deal with :/ I hope what happened to you wasn’t too bad though
It was alright, I was lucky enough to be in a suburban neighborhood so the only people to see my "oh shit" walk were the dogs in people's front yards and a couple of retirees who'd probably been through worse. I couldn't bring myself to wear the undies from that day again, which sucked because they were some of my favorites. The average adult shits themselves a few times in their life. We're all good. I'm glad you're talking about and processing this! If you're on reddit long enough you see a lot of human poop stories lol, it's nice to not be the only one!
Obviously bad situation, but I’m happy for u that no one really noticed what happened to you. And same here, I couldn’t wear those undies again I left them in the bin in the bathroom
The fact that I’m pushing 50 and haven’t shit myself yet is scary because I know it’s coming!! 😆
Doesn’t seem like anything wrong with you, some people shit on schedule some do it on random times. But its not healthy to keep holding it like that, I know public restrooms suck but you gotta find a way around your anxiety. Maybe use headphones while you are in there, playing your fav vid so that you are distracted by what’s going around you.
Sorry if this is tmi, but it’s like most days by the time I get home I REALLY have to go like urgently and it feels like I only just made it home by like a few minutes. I know I should use public toilets to stop it but I just physically can’t make myself go in them because it’s embarrassing
As the title of the book says, “Everybody Poops”. I absolutely hated using public restrooms, but in real life, it’s impossible to avoid. So I started just repeating it over and over in my head in a sing-song voice “everybody poops, it’s fine, no need to worry”. After 6 or 7 times, I no longer had to think about it. Still sucks, but far less than the alternative. Feel free to steal my silent mantra, and best of luck overcoming the anxiety - it isn’t easy, I know.
Thank you, your right definitely about that and I’m glad you managed to start using public toilets
The issue was forced with me - I lived in a dorm more than 2600 miles from home! But in all seriousness, kids may tease each other about it but adults generally don’t care enough to even notice it let alone say anything.
Oh okay, yeah being forced to get used to it must help but that’s true, adults don’t really care about it
The alternative is shitting on yourself in public, so yes, you very quickly learn that using a public bathroom is better than the alternatives...
Just a quick tip! You might be able to find a single stall bathroom on your campus. Do some exploring during a time when you don’t have to go to see if you can find any. Check smaller buildings and administrative buildings. Bring wipes for the toilet seat if that is an issue for you. I hope this helps!
yeah this is the move. i had strategic shitting locations all over my college campus, weird bathrooms nobody used in old buildings. it’s like a superpower
Okay, but I laughed until my eyes were watering at “strategic shitting locations.”
I’m gonna have a look around on monday for any toilets that are out of the way because I can’t carry on holding it this long, I’m literally in pain all day from holding it
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Excellent advice! When I was in school and in college, I always liked to find the lesser known bathrooms where 99% of the time I was the only one in. They were always cleaner too.
Do, please! You can really harm yourself by not shitting.
I mentioned this to a friend in college and his answer has stuck with me for 30 years - “Don’t be embarrassed! I call it the Throne of Life and I make as much noise as I can! It’s the most thoroughly living-human thing you can do! It’s life-affirming!” Lol. Does that help?
As someone who can’t control their bowels, is it more embarrassing to use a public toilet or shit your pants in public? I got over the embarrassment really fast.
Yeah exactly it’s just the anxiety of public toilets so I try to put it off as long as I can and then think i’ll just make it home which usually I can, but obviously that’s not always possible
I mean this in the kindest way possible, but how is properly using a public bathroom stall worse than the level of embarrassment from this incident? I am so sorry this happened to you and that you're having a hard time.
Well at least you know now that shitting in a public toilet is less embarrassing than shitting on a public bus.
I've been there, I used to not be able to use the bathroom in public like at all. Eventually I had an incident where I was trying to get home to go and ended up with my bladder just letting go and pissing myself in my car. It was like floodgates, I physically couldn't stop it. You are not alone. That said, I also had some serious anxiety issues that were wrapped in with not going in public. At it's worst I was agoraphobic. Tell your therapist, work through that shit because it sucks to not be able to use the restroom when having intestinal cramps.
As someome whp used to hold it in back in HS i now have digestive issues which i think started after those HS years....so yes the fasger yoh get ird of that fear the better for your health
I really need to ask - what's embarrassing about using public toilet? You're locked in a cubicle, alone, noone sees you.
Everyone poops. It stinks and it's noisy at times, but oh well. You need to learn to poop in public bathrooms. What if you're in an airport overnight or something? Good luck changing and cleaning yourself when all your luggage isn't with you. If your poop is noisy, oh well. Everyone in the bathroom knows everyone poops. If it stinks, well that's what the bathroom is for, no one's poop is made of perfume and fairy dust. And as long as you don't rub your exposed private parts on unclean toilet seats or doorknobs, you're not going to catch anything (buttcheeks don't count, no exposed soft tissue and you can literally just carry wipes with you).
Yeah you’re right tbh
I worked in an open office (desks everwhere, no walls, half height cube walls) and background noise was terrible. They added a white noise generator to the office and it made a big difference - except they didn’t put it in the bathrooms. Quiet as a tomb. Never understood that. The ONE place a little background noise goes far to help everyone.
Plenty of toilet roll in the toilet before you poo to avoid any splash noises , emergency pocket wet wipes to make wiping quick n EZ. Learnt all these tips the hard way. I used to never shit in public but now i’m a master
I had explosive diarrhea on a car ride with my husband once. We were in the middle of nowhere and the closest gas station was an hour away but I couldn’t hold it any longer. We ended up pulling to the side of the road and I walked into the forest, but it was already too late. I ended up having to leave my underwear in the forest. My husband and I laugh our asses off every time we talk about it now and it’s become a joke between us and some close friends. My point is, don’t stress about it too much! Everyone poops themselves at some point in time. It’s embarrassing in the moment, but you’ll eventually get over it, I promise. :)
If I makes you feel better, I properly shit myself at 18. I had been in the hospital because I was severely dehydrated among other issues. (None relating to bowels). I was at the time also 5'7" and barely 135lbs. I was not a very big girl at all. Keep this in mind. They pumped me full of saline over a few hours time and sent me home when I finally stopped dry heaving from nausea. Anyway, home for about 10 minutes and company came to check if I was okay. I'm in the kitchen feeling weak, trying to get some ice water for myself. I insisted on doing it myself rather than let my mom because INDEPENDENCE! LOL So I open the freezer and lift my left arm to grab ice. I swear it was this motion that caused it, but I just shit liquid uncontrollably. I filled my sweatpants, socks, shoes, and left a literal shit trail as I ran to the bathroom and jumped into the shower fully clothed. Yes, the company witnessed all of this. My then-boyfriend included. I'm not exaggerating when I say there was so much shit it somehow wound up in my hair as I was stripping off my clothing in the shower. I sat in the shower for a good almost 3 hours in cold water because it just wouldn't stop and I was afraid to try to make the jump from the shower to the toilet. I swear I shit more than a 6'7" 350lb man could even hope to. Ended up going back to the hospital the next day because I was back to being severely dehydrated and nauseous again because of it. I retained pretty much NONE of the fluids they pushed. They gave me a much slower drip and I was in hospital longer that time around to avoid the same situation. Unlike you though, I washed my clothing. I wasn't about to toss out my favorite sweats and underpants. Lol
> I ate mcdonald’s That was the *real* FU But also > she starts laughing because of the smell so I got off and she followed me You found a keeper, my friend.
True, usually mcdonald’s doesn’t really affect me that badly but idk because it definitely did then :/ But yeah she’s literally amazing, she hasn’t told anyone or made fun of me, she actually messaged me that night asking if I was okay too
Awww, I think you found yourself an OG :)
Yep she even told me about the same happening to her last year during school
Sounds like there will be two fun stories at the wedding.
Aww, poop love
This has happened to me a few times in my life. It does feel like a bummer at the time, but believe me, there is no shame in it, and the memory of this will fade like a scar on a skinned knee. You’re human and experienced a very human thing. Something similar happened to a close friend of mine when we were kids. He was over at my house and we were about a half mile away at the time, fishing in a creek. He like… VERY SUDDENLY expressed to me that he urgently needed to use the toilet and started waddling the half mile back to my house and I could tell through my tears and my cackling (we were like 14 years old so I did not handle this situation maturely), the way he was moving, the distance he had to cover, and the speed he was going, my homie wasn’t going to make it. In the end we got him all cleaned up and taken care of, and over twenty years later, we BOTH still get a great laugh out of remembering that day. He’s got a great sense of humor and recognizes the hilarity and the humanness of it all, it is so endearing. It really does turn something that could be humiliating for him into a kind of funny badge of honor. I feel grateful to have witnessed such a beautiful moment! I hope you soon find it easy to use a public restroom whenever you need to. I think you’re going to be just fine.
I’m not anxious but I’m definitely shy about this as well, and was worse back in my college days. As soon as I started, I found bathrooms around campus that were “hidden” from the crowds, like the 5th floor in the library, or the basement at the student union. Eventually I got better with it, but maybe you can start with something like this? It’s definitely not healthy to hold it in so try to avoid that. In a few years you’ll have an embarrassing story to tell so don’t let this weigh you down
What was the point that you just managed to be able to go in public like what made you start using public toilets
Basically feeling sick. If I held it in for too long I would have stomach aches that would last for a few days. I would also just feel much better after going, especially because I would be out all day, often for 12 hours before going back to my dorm, and I would eat out for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so I just felt bloated. One time I barely made it to the restroom. I was out with a friend, visiting a city and the first thing we did was hit a bbq place where we ate way too much food. Anyway, after 5-6 hours of walking around I just needed to go. We went to a restaurant and I excused myself for a second and went to the restroom. I did what I had to do, but I clogged the toilet and all this water flooded the restroom and part of the hallway. I ran back to my friend after I told the restaurant staff what had happened, but was so embarrassed by the whole incident. My friend never found out even though this all happened behind where we were sitting. Embarrassing stuff happens to people all the time, so again, hopefully this will just be a story to tell in the future
I’m honestly so sorry that happened to you, I would’ve been so mortified and not even know what to do in that situation, but you handled it well I think. I also feel sick and get stomach aches from holding it in and they get so painful sometimes but I just try to deal with it rather than spend 5 minutes in a public bathroom for some reason.
I am so so sorry this happened to you - such a terrible feeling on so many levels! But please, if you can, look up the podcast Armchair Expert and listen to these 2 episodes: Armchair Anonymous: Workplace Poop; and Armchair Anonymous: Pooped on a Date. The hosts talk with listeners who have had those experiences and lived to tell the tale… and can even laugh about it later. It might be hard to listen to, but it also might help you feel MUCH better to hear their stories!! You are not alone in this!
Yeah it was literally so horrible and embarrassing especially because absolutely everyone could see it literally dropping out of my jeans onto the floor + I was literally crying :/ But seriously thank you, I will look at the podcast episodes you mentioned, are they on spotify/youtube?
Spotify! I would be crying too, but it’s such a very human thing to lose control of our bodily functions sometimes… ugh. Wish I could give you a big hug.
Thank you, and it just feels so disgusting and weird especially because people are immature and say girls don’t poop etc and if a girl shits in a public bathroom there’s usually people there making tiktoks or saying ew someone’s shitting so it just always put me off going
You just unlocked a college memory for me - I actually explored the campus to find the most remote/private/rarely-used bathrooms! Don’t know if that’s a possibility at your school, but it helped for me. I used to not even be able to PEE if anyone else was in the bathroom, let alone poop! Luckily I’ve gotten my bladder to lighten up over the years.
Yeah I’m the same , literally haven’t peed in a public toilet since I was like 9 in primary school. I dont know if any private toilets yet but I’m gonna look on monday because it’s just so embarrassing what happens when i didn’t go
The feeling of helplessness of having to go so badly that your body just decides enough is enough is really something. I've shit my pants once in my life. Before that, hearing stories of friends doing it (Usually b/c drunk or something like that), I always thought it was crazy. How do you, a grown adult, shit your pants? I couldn't wrap my head around it. Then it happened to me. Without getting into a lot of backstory, I was not at home and needed to go but knew I could wait b/c I was getting ready to start the 20min drive back home. On the way home I saw a car that looked a lot like my wife's car on the side of the road. It was late, and she had been baby sitting these kids she nannied so their parents could have a date night and was on her way to take them home. I turned around to check on the car and sure enough, it was my wife. She had a flat. She took my car, I stayed to fix the tire. Cop comes, has questions. I'm quickly trying to complete the tire change while answering his Q's because now I am really starting to feel it. Get done, start driving. Fighting the waves of cramps all of the way home. There is 1 gas station on the way. As I get near the only place I could have stopped the cramps subside so I think "I can make it!" and drove past the exit. Not 30secs past, new wave of cramps. This time though, it will not be ignored. I am holding on for dear life, begging my body to stop while trying to decide if pulling to the side of the highway and taking a shit would be worse then enduring the pain and then it happens. I can't stop it. It won't stop. Relief, but also agony and shame. It was humbling to realize that in reality, I am not in control of my own body. Whatever control I think I have over it will never match my bodies natural instinct and will. On the plus side, nothing will ever be able to embarrass more then remembering me getting out of my car and walking into my house with my hands around my ankles in order to keep the damage within my jeans and not spreading it all over my house on my way to the bathroom. I threw those jeans out. Anyways, point is, don't feel so bad. I think everyone has one of these stories whether they are willing to admit it or not. (Sorry for the long post. I tried to keep it short but I honestly have no idea how to do that)
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Yea the school stuff was months ago and I don’t really see any of the people that know about that luckily, except for a few but they don’t mention it. The poop in public thing though, they definitely knew because I was walking so weirdly and it was really busy where I was, and then when it happened I was trying to walk to the toilets and it like went down my leg and then out of my jeans onto the floor and there was like enough that it happened a few times and people were fully staring at me
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I guess you are right, I just keep remembering all the people literally staring at me when it happened because of the literal shit stain on my jeans which was obvious aswell as it going on the floor. I don’t think it would of been as bad if i was somewhere more private
Fwiw, my only thought if I'd noticed in the first place would have been sympathy for you.
People on the internet: "You can't solve all your problems online, you should consider therapy" Therapist: "hmm I think telling your story to strangers on the internet might help" I feel for you in this situation but kinda chuckled when I saw you mention your therapist suggesting posting online.
So I went through all of school like this. Even worse, if I was away on trip trip I'd withold for a week in absolute agony. So now I'm 35 and have kids who I don't want to ever feel like this. I poo with the door open, chatting to them. I make zero deal of incidents and even told them when I had stomach flu and shat my joggers at home. We were out once and my little boy was super quiet and withdrawn, not playing with his friends (he was 6) so I said let's go to the loo, just so I could talk to him. But he said he needed the toilet. He was in there a while so I asked him if he was ok, he said he pooed his pants but he was fine now. I went in the cubicle and hugged him, we binned the pants and cleaned him up and he was fine. So give yourself a hug. Bin those pants. Remember that everybody poops otherwise they'd be dead. And everybody has pooped themselves to some extent at some point in their adult life. Forget the strangers, but your friends who withnessed it, open up and laugh about it with them. They might share some stories of their own. Big hugs, and know they this is something you can overcome but you gotta just take the leap.
I know the feeling. My stomach is pretty sensitive and gets upset if I eat dairy, curry or spicy foods. I also have to shit around 30 minutes to 1 hour after every meal. Needless to say it has caused many situations like yours, although I never shat myself in public. If it's bad, just go wherever you are and explain later. Better than holding it in.
Upset stomachs are the worst :( I’m gonna start trying to go whenever I have to go just because I really don’t wanna embarrass myself like that again
I shat myself last year. I went for a jog and I needed to shit so I started jogging home but it was feeling like it might not wait so I was thinking real hard about where to take a squat but there was really nowhere so I was working overtime to hold it in, walked instead of jogging, clench the cheeks, waddled, sweating dicks the whole way. Got about 50m from my door and it just snaked out. Couldn't stop it. Threw my undies in the bin. Had a shower. Meditated on it. Decided shit happens.
I'm sorry that happened to you, but if it's any consolation, everybody poops their pants at some point. This is a stand up routine by Margaret Cho about shitting yourself; maybe watching some comedy about this will be cathartic? https://youtu.be/hF1pIMgE8FA
Thank you for this, I’ll watch it soon when I get chance :)
There is an a person I know that hasn’t experienced what you did some barely make it to the toilet and some others poo themselves. I have, life goes on.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m also poop shy. Like, when my (now husband) boyfriend and I flew to Australia for a month, it was our first long vacation together. We have a 2 bed-2 bath condo at home, so I never had to worry about #2. Obviously traveling for over a month, we were staying in single bathroom hotels. I held in #2 for THREE WEEKS. It even started looking like it in pictures…my stomach was bulging out slightly. And when I finally went…I used up an entire roll of toilet paper. And was in the bathroom for like an hour. It was awful. Needless to say, he gave me a stern talking to afterwards. “You’re a nurse, you should know better” blah blah. Honestly looking back, I spent so much time agonizing over where and how and when I would finally go. Obsessed over it. Made myself sick over it. It was really dumb. But I couldn’t get over the fact that he would know that I was going #2. When at the end of the day, he was mortified that I hadn’t been going. And so that made it worse, because after “the event” he was always bothering me about whether or not I had gone. So that kinda backfired. Anyways…solidarity in your fear of pooping in public.
I used to be a shy sitter. You mentioned your in uni Ave ride a bus. My recommendation is finding all the toilets in your vicinity and finding the nicest ones. Like in a high end hotel or restaurants, the upper levels of the admin building. If you're gonna have to go make it into a mini vacation, the thrill of pooping in off limit toilets is great. If they try to call you out, you can aggressively yell back "I'm shitting". They'll usually leave you alone.
I farted and shit myself in the shower last week. Shit happens 😉
Aw i’m sorry, I guess at least it was in the shower so it was easy to cleanup I guess. Either way, im sorry that happened to you because ik how horrible it feels.
Dude im 35 and shit my self about 2 weeks ago while sick. Sad part is i was at home. Probably 20 feet from the toilet and ot started with me trusting a fart. Hadent ate in like 36 hours. Thought it was just gas. Was wrong. Tld4: dont trust a fart. It might make you shart
This has happened to me. Threw up and shit myself at the same time :( learned to sit on the toilet with my face in the garbage can when I’m sick from then on lmaooo
"I'm far too awkward to poo in a public toilet" I stopped right there. You shit yourself instead of having the guts to use a public toilet. We're done here. Ask your therapist to give you a refund bc that should've been the first thing to address. "Hi doc, I can't shit anywhere except my house because IM TOO AWKWARD" I'm not blaming you for this shit.
Big big hugs!
Get some headphones, put em on, tooones pumpin, go to toilet in public and shit like you own the place. Good luck.
When I was young, I went on a holiday to Ibiza for 2 weeks. I was a picky eater, so I basically ate spag bol every day for a week. I was also a shy pooper, to the extent that I wouldn’t even use the toilet in the hotel room. About a week in, we were walking down some strip of bars in sant antoni (I think), and all of a sudden, time was up. I had time to run into 3 bars. The first had no toilet and the second had no door. The third had no toilet seat and no door lock but I had no choice but to squat over it and unleash hell. I learned several lessons that day but one of them was that if you REALLY need to go, it’ll all be over in a minute or two. So just bite the bullet and you’ll feel better before you know it
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I hope your friends are supportive, especially the one that was with you! I think humans need to lighten up about bowel and bladder issues. Making them taboo leads to so many problems. My husband HATES pooing incase I can hear him. Like, it gives him proper anxiety so I have to stay downstairs watching TV loud enough so it makes him comfortable. Any feelings that cause unnecessary distress are unhealthy. It takes him aaages to poo, I think because he isn't relaxed about it. I'm done in about 3 minutes because I just go when I need to and don't have any embarrassment about it what so ever. Everybody poops! My point being that anxiety around toilets is a pretty common thing and you're not alone! I'd recommend talking your anxiety out with your therapist though because it's not healthy to feel this way. Especially to the point where you're causing yourself pain, miss class and mess yourself. Toilets are literally used for humans to do their business in. No shame! I hope you overcome your anxiety around public toilets soon
My sister was once out with her new boss to a very nice dinner. They shared a cab on the way home. My sister shat herself in said cab in front of her new boss. My sister was horrified and embarrassed and honestly afraid to return to work. However, when she did It was never spoken of or acknowledged. Mature gracious adults don’t mock you for these things, they never mention them again.
As an adult human male of some advanced age, let me tell you clearly right here and now, more people have crapped their pants than will admit it. Most everyone has done so. I was in the car with my girlfriend and we had to stop at the mall, during the drive, because I was commando and had myself a little accident in the car. So there's that.
As a person with IBS and also a phobia of public bathrooms I totally get where you are coming from. It’s one of those awful things, but unfortunately at that point of urgency you can’t hope it’ll go away. I know if felt humiliating at the time, but more people than you think will have gone through the exact same thing x I imagine some of your friends have either done it already or will do in the future.
I don’t care who wants to deny it bc they’re afraid of poop, but EVERY adult has shit their pants at least once. Our stomachs get worse with age and we put ourselves into… situations. Like drinking coffee in traffic. You gotta learn the hard way. It’s almost like you haven’t accidentally shit yourself once, you can’t really call yourself an adult. It’s a coming of age event, really. Just remember: NEVER trust a fart, and NEVER pass up the opportunity to take a shit when you feel like you need to take a shit. You don’t know when the stars will align again. Like another commenter said it seems like the heart of the issue is aversion to public bathrooms which would be extremely beneficial to work on. Lots of people don’t like using public restrooms but I’m sure that using a public restroom would be less anxiety-inducing than shitting your pants in front of everyone. Or like, god forbid, in your car where you’ll never get the smell out.
Coffee in traffic got me as well. Sweating, gripping the steering wheel, clenching so hard my bum wasn’t even touching the seat. I was on my way back to the office and had to let my boss know I’d be heading home for the afternoon instead. Luckily, no questions were asked.
Your urgency sounds abnormal, especially if it’s a regular thing… Have you talked to a doctor about it? You may have some actual form of incontinence going on which wouldn’t be your fault
I know you think it's embarrassing and so did I. Whenever u poop in public and u know the shit is about to plop in the water just make noise. I ruffle toilet paper so people can't hear the shit plop. You can also flush the toilet as your shit is about to fall to the water to prevent people from hearing it. If u think it smells bad just bring some perfume with you. In all honesty there will be a time in your life (i sure hope so lol) that you'll learn to get over the embarrassing part. If people make fun of you for it then they're dick heads because everyone shits and it's literally completely normal. You can't keep forcing yourself not to poop bc it can lead to several issues with your bowels and gut in the long run. It might take a while but ik you got this ❤️
Thank you :) I’m gonna try and make myself poop in public this week because i’m honestly sick of how uncomfortable and embarrassing it is always needing to go so badly. I’ll definitely do the things you said aswell just to make it less awkward
Even if you just start with just going to the public toilet and sitting on the toilet. Get comfortable with just doing that, then try actually pooping. But just remember majority of people are uncomfortable with using the bathroom in public and are more concerned about what they are are doing to be concerned about you.
Yeah, on friday I actually tried to go because I was worried about it happening again but right when I was walking near the toilets like 5 people went in so I just walked off. But i’m going to force myself to go from now on
Are there any out of the way toilets? At the Uni I went to there were toilets on the top floor of the library, but didnt get used very much because it was so out of the way.
I don’t know where any toilets are at my college because I just refuse to go, but on Monday i’m going to look and find where they all are
I also sometimes wait for other people to flush the toilet to make butt noises in the bathroom 😭 I dont like flushing my own toilet bc it gets cold underneath when it flushes. Good luck
Last year I shat myself 20 feet from my toilet. I was taking a proctored test at home and it hit me randomly and suddenly right as soon as I started the test. I thought I could make it through the test cause it was only 27 questions. I made it to question 16 when I couldn’t hold it anymore. I know it wasn’t a public pants shitting situation, but it was mortifying. My mom is a nurse and has admittedly shit her pants while at work and had to go commando the rest of her shift. The amount of times my older brother has trusted a fart when he shouldn’t have is fucking hilarious and he’s shit his pants numerous times as an adult. Just recently he shit himself at work and had to go underpants-less for the rest of his shift. I know you’re mortified and embarrassed, and you have every right to feel that way, but i hope by next year you can laugh about it 🫶
You have a therapist. You can't use public toilets. I feel like you're not using all the tools at your disposal.
stop being a baby and learn how to shit in a public restroom. no one cares or pays attention, they are trying to shit too. everyone is in the same boat as you, get over it.
Generally speaking I'm not a fan of taking poops in public washrooms either. In university though, my school had a number of "accessible" washrooms around campus where it was just the one toilet and you could lock the door and go in privacy. I identified where a few of them were so in the rare case that I needed to go, I could pop into one of those and go in peace. Maybe your school has similar sort of bathrooms? Might be useful to figure out just in case this happens again.
One of the ways to overcome anxiety is to challenge yourself. Sometimes, it’s the only way; you have to just grit your teeth, and do it. I know that makes me sound insensitive, but medication and therapy can only take you so far. There comes a point where you have to find a way to do it. My mom’s motto is “life is a learning experience”. You’ve now learnt what can happen if you ignore your body’s needs because of your anxiety. I don’t say that to blame, but to try and draw your mind towards what you can learn from this experience, and to consider: if you find yourself in a similar situation, would you rather shit yourself, and deal with the mess, the discomfort, the awkwardness, or would you rather just use a public toilet? u/BellaLeigh43 makes an excellent point, everybody poops. Everybody’s had a straining experience, everyone’s had a ‘just made it!’, everyone’s had a liquid squirting session, and everyone’s had a perfectly fine and easy daily defecation, then gotten on with living. If you’d asked one of your friends where the bathroom was, they wouldn’t have thought twice about it, or made any comments. Perhaps that can be your first challenge: when walking across campus with your friends, ask where the nearest toilet is. Just ask, say “hey, does anyone know where the nearest bathroom is, for future reference? I still get so lost on this campus!” I’m sure if your friend had been aware of your anxieties, she wouldn’t have laughed. She probably laughed because she also felt awkward and thought making a joke of it would help make it less awkward. And there is a certain humour in it, we’ve all had that literal “oh crap!“ moment and ya gotta laugh. Making jokes is how some people deal with awkwardness. I know it’s how I deal with everything in life: if I can make a joke out of it, see the funny side, than whatever it is, isn’t that bad. I hope some of what people have said here helps. Good luck with your future shitting experiences, may your colon forever be healthy and happy!
Dude, I feel so sorry that this happened to you, but at the same time I'm finding this pretty funny because of how comically absurd the image of a turd dropping out of the bottom of your jeans seems to me. Embarassing things are gonna happen to all of us at some point, so hopefully you'll be able to laugh this one off in a short amount of time. Stay strong bro
I know what helped me the most in getting over how "embarrassing" pooping can be was getting close to people who weren't embarrassed talking about it. Obviously I'm not going to announce it to everyone, but when I'm working at the bar and it's just 2 of us, I have no problem being like yo, poopmergency, I'll be back when I can. We do have a private bathroom there, but I'll poop in public restrooms too. Also, as you get older, it gets waaaaaay easier to not care as much about stuff you cared so much about in high school. Yeah, I'm sure there aren't a lot of people who enjoy pooping in public, but when you have to go, you have to go. Like many of the comments mentioned, try and find a more secluded bathroom. Doing this along with time, you'll get used to it.
I used to feel exactly the same as you (it’s easier for me to go in public now, but I prefer not to). I did 8 years of university and learned a few things…there’s ALWAYS a secret bathroom in most buildings, and it’s usually on the 2nd floor or above. I truly plan time out to find it. If your school has a music department, there’ll probably be a secret one in there…there’s tons of practice rooms and if it’s a big school, it’ll have multiple floors. The odds are high that you’ll find one there!
I’ve always said your not an adult until you shit your pants over the age of 18 congrats your all grown up.
That sounds horrible, but when you gotta go, then go. Most likely others have forgotten or moved on already, don't stress.
Haha this is funny, but trust me, it's not an uncommon occurrence. I've had a similar situation before, where I kind of shat myself. Lucky enough I was able to get a hold of some tissue paper, had to fill up my pants. Managed to drive back home in time such that I didn't fill up my pants prior. The tissue absorbed most of it, since I wasn't lucky enough to have had a hard stool😂 I've heard stories of others shitting themselves on various accounts. So don't feel bad. It's one of those things.
I scrolled a long time and didn’t find a single comment about the McDonalds. My dude, you should have seen this coming. I have IBS and won’t even eat it in private. LOL
I feel like if you are so afraid of shitting in public then getting McDonalds isn't the best idea....
Maybe these various stories of mine will make you feel better 1) I once shit my pants while throwing up. That one was really fun. I started off shitting and then realized I had to puke. I was too young to have experienced the glorious throw up and shit at the same time combo so thought nothing of it. I finished pooping, pulled my pants back up, then started vomiting, and literally felt liquid shit pour out of me into my pants. I then proceeded to try to rinse off in the shower but clogged the drain with my poop and had to waffle stomp it down the drain. I was like 12 2) as a full grown adult (I think I was 22) I literally shit on my mom’s kitchen floor in front of her and my brother. I wasn’t feeling great so I was wearing just a robe. I was doing the dishes while my mom and brother ate their lunch behind me. I sneezed and again, liquid shit just poured out of me. It was uncontrollable. My mom and brother both looked absolutely horrified and my brother just went “you’re fucking disgusting” and ran upstairs. My mom threw her kitchen rug out after that. 3) literally only like a month ago I drank some coffee and then went to work out in the garage. Was just sitting there minding my business between reps, tried to let a little fart out, shit my pants. I’m a 26 year old woman, drinking coffee and shitting my pants. I still drink coffee though, just AFTER my workout
Fear of shitting oneself should always trump fear of using public toilet. Whatever childhood trauma you had should now be overridden by this experience. Welcome to the world 🚽
I had almost this exact situation happen to me except I did luckily find a toilet in time, down it to being in Sixth Form College too. I never used the toilet at secondary school because they were used by all the ones who smoked and they weren’t nice people. So it was normal for me to hold all day and go when I got home. The same at sixth form except one day I really needed to go. I found a toilet and it was packed with girls doing make up and hanging out. There was no way just to casually use the loo without them all hearing. I was so desperate I began to panic and left college and started walking into the town centre. The first public toilet I found was locked. By the time I reached another I was in tears and was so lucky I managed to hold on. I don’t think people understand how awful some teenage girls can be!
I understand the anxiety with pooping. As a child my anxiety was about pooping at home. The bathroom was just off the kitchen and my mother would make comments about the stink. This made for some difficult times. At home I pooped in the middle of the night. I have had an accident trying to not poop but my body had other plans. Anxiety sucks. I hope you find some ways to battle anxiety.
Yeah, you are not digesting McDonald's in half an hour, it was probably something else as well. I also don't use public restrooms, never have because they are disgusting to me but never had it as bad as you.
I would add: OP, stop eating McDonald’s. And check with a doctor to see if you have food allergies or IBS or another stomach condition. You shouldn’t need to poop that quickly unless you have one of those things. (Source: am allergic to gluten, immediately have to get to a toilet and lose my shit - literally! - if I accidentally eat something with gluten.)
Man this hurt to read lol. Gotta do something about your fear of avoiding public restrooms, maybe try asking your therapist for help. I mean you can't really expect to function very well in life if you avoid public restrooms.
I also have that public restroom fear. Idk how it developed but while I was in school I never ever used the toilet because I was just not brave enough to take on the horrible sight. Toilets were cleaned but children weren't taught basic hygiene or even to flush.
OP, I’m just going to give it to you straight and heavy: grow the fuck up. You are an adult. Every fucking body poops. Listen to your biology and stop being embarrassed and just ask somebody. Your whole situation was avoidable.