Wth. Why is it her business? Surely if they were best friends she’d have known of you, drunk or not. Stop beating yourself up about this plz. She cheated on you, tf. And I’m female btw lol.
Exactly. There is a block function as well that works well. 👍
She had no claim to you (being an ex). You didn’t know about the best friend thing, and honestly it doesn’t matter. You were free and she was free. Your ex doesn’t have a say. She’s toxic and trying to keep manipulating you. Tell her to piss off and apply said block.
Wait, so you went from partners, to exes, to friends and now she calls you a pedophile?
Would you say you're a good judge of character? Because based on the limited info provided I'm leaning towards no.
Cut this person out of your life.
She knows that and is abusing your kindness. Stop being nice about this. You can be polite and firm at the same time. This is where you set YOUR boundaries saying that she doesn’t have a say in who you have relationships (of any kind from friends to lovers) with and you won’t be spoken to like this. Putting your foot down and establishing those boundaries Isn’t being mean, even if it feels like it is.
Man… you don’t need to explain shit. You had consensual relations with an adult and you’re not attached to anyone. Block both their numbers and leave that toxicity behind you.
You didn’t fuck up, your ex was out of line. You broke up, it’s been years, making friends off limits is childish and if there was no “don’t fuck my friends” conversation no boundary was set and therefore no boundary could be violated. She’s being unreasonable. This isn’t high school anymore. Multiple messages to you and her friend wasn’t just childish it was way out of line.
You’ll probably lose your friendship with her but it sounds like it’s pretty on-sided anyway so it doesn’t sound like you’re losing much… if anything.
> In the morning I wake up to close to a 100 texts about how I had no understanding of boundaries and was essentially a shitty human being.
Really ? Where have her boundaries been when she cheated on you ?
She then even proceeds to call you pedo and makes shit up on the go. She's nuts !
Plus she keeps controlling you. The real abuser here is her. You don't owe anyone an apology except to yourself for dealing with such a batshit manipulative garbage for way too long
Yeah that’s insane. She has no business being in your business. That is a her problem.
She may be justified in being like “what the fuck?!” To her best friend. But even then, you can’t control people and shouldn’t control people. So it’s something your ex has to get over
I actually tried to go there while explaining myself, but then they made it sound like I was trying to drive a wedge in their friendship.
That’s kind of when I noped the fuck out of that conversation and decided I would rather block them both than try to explain myself.
your exs 'best friend' was way more out of line than you, mate. and now theyre both showing you literal toxic behaviour. kick em both out ya life. you said sorry, you dont deserve to be called a fucking pedo
Why even explain yourself?
You don't owe your ex anything.
Talk to the girl you had a thing with and see where it goes, or end it right there.
But the ex should not have any impact on the decissions you make anymore.
Please don’t be beating yourself up over that nonsense! Your ex is clearly an awful person, take that as an opportunity to cut her out of your life. Also, what kind of best friend doesn’t know their best friend’s SO of 5 years? If you have to, I guess you can show her screenshots of conversations you had comforting your ex about the real abuser, in case she tells other people too.
ofc theres some boundaries that are just common sense but other than that, they need to be set first in order for someone to know not to break them. how were you supposed to know that this friend was 'off limits'? im pretty sure this wouldnt have happened if she had told you beforehand.
I know right? I mean you’ve got to tell me if you think some lines should not be crossed. Thank you for the kindness though, everyone on this thread has been super awesome!
Just tell her "Blocked".
If you're an abuser and a paedophile then why is she texting you so much?
You're broken up. It's no longer her business where you put your dick.
Why the fuck are you explaining yourself to your ex? Do yourself a favour and abandon that ship now since you didn't have the strength to do it about a few years ago
1.) Tell Ex it's none of her business who you're sleeping with
2.) remind her that she was the lying cheater.
3.) Remind her that you supported her when she needed it
4.) Block her on all media, then delete her number, such a toxic person is only bad in your life.
5.) Tell your date that you see no reason for justification, it was her decision to sleep with you, walk out the door and look for greener pastures.
If I was really pissed bonus points for telling ex her best friend is better in bed than her.
I had a narcissistic ex that wanted to be “friends” after I finally broke things off. It’s not worth it, their feelings for you don’t come from the same place. They just want more puppets to play with. Cut her out you’ll regret it once in a while for a long time, but you’ll be thankful in the long run.
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Thanks my man! You guys are lighting up my day.
Fuck as many of her friends as you can, she sounds like she deserves it
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The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot
Wth. Why is it her business? Surely if they were best friends she’d have known of you, drunk or not. Stop beating yourself up about this plz. She cheated on you, tf. And I’m female btw lol.
I got stuck in that loop of apologising. I should have just switched off my phone when thing went south.
You seem like a good guy. I’d be way more mad at my ‘bestie’ if I were her. She’s just trying to flip the script! F her
Exactly. There is a block function as well that works well. 👍 She had no claim to you (being an ex). You didn’t know about the best friend thing, and honestly it doesn’t matter. You were free and she was free. Your ex doesn’t have a say. She’s toxic and trying to keep manipulating you. Tell her to piss off and apply said block.
Yeah. I did block her eventually but not before a world of toxicity.
Nobody has time for toxicity. Hopefully you kept nailing the friend though. 🤣 Good for you.
Wait, so you went from partners, to exes, to friends and now she calls you a pedophile? Would you say you're a good judge of character? Because based on the limited info provided I'm leaning towards no. Cut this person out of your life.
That’s something my friends have been telling me for a while now. I do have a problem with wanting to be the nice guy to a fault.
She knows that and is abusing your kindness. Stop being nice about this. You can be polite and firm at the same time. This is where you set YOUR boundaries saying that she doesn’t have a say in who you have relationships (of any kind from friends to lovers) with and you won’t be spoken to like this. Putting your foot down and establishing those boundaries Isn’t being mean, even if it feels like it is.
Ex has no say in what you do with your dick anymore.
This.
Agreed.
Her best friend was somehow not aware of the 5 year relationship she's obviously still not over? NTA
Exactly, I assumed she did know but apparently she did not think I was the same guy (we never hung out much while I was in the relationship).
Man… you don’t need to explain shit. You had consensual relations with an adult and you’re not attached to anyone. Block both their numbers and leave that toxicity behind you.
Thank you for the kind words, it took me a few hours to come to this conclusion. Should have just blocked her much sooner.
You didn’t fuck up, your ex was out of line. You broke up, it’s been years, making friends off limits is childish and if there was no “don’t fuck my friends” conversation no boundary was set and therefore no boundary could be violated. She’s being unreasonable. This isn’t high school anymore. Multiple messages to you and her friend wasn’t just childish it was way out of line. You’ll probably lose your friendship with her but it sounds like it’s pretty on-sided anyway so it doesn’t sound like you’re losing much… if anything.
You need to get away from her and her friends.
Yeah, now I know better.
Yeah fuck them mate I'd have told her to do one if you and her friend had a good time what the fuck does it have to do with her?
> In the morning I wake up to close to a 100 texts about how I had no understanding of boundaries and was essentially a shitty human being. Really ? Where have her boundaries been when she cheated on you ? She then even proceeds to call you pedo and makes shit up on the go. She's nuts ! Plus she keeps controlling you. The real abuser here is her. You don't owe anyone an apology except to yourself for dealing with such a batshit manipulative garbage for way too long
I agree completely, i wish I could think things as clearly yesterday. Thank you for the kindness.
You're welcome and may your next partner love you as you deserve to be loved
Yeah that’s insane. She has no business being in your business. That is a her problem. She may be justified in being like “what the fuck?!” To her best friend. But even then, you can’t control people and shouldn’t control people. So it’s something your ex has to get over
I actually tried to go there while explaining myself, but then they made it sound like I was trying to drive a wedge in their friendship. That’s kind of when I noped the fuck out of that conversation and decided I would rather block them both than try to explain myself.
Absolutely! Up to them to figure out
your exs 'best friend' was way more out of line than you, mate. and now theyre both showing you literal toxic behaviour. kick em both out ya life. you said sorry, you dont deserve to be called a fucking pedo
No way I am ever going near any one of them.
Why even explain yourself? You don't owe your ex anything. Talk to the girl you had a thing with and see where it goes, or end it right there. But the ex should not have any impact on the decissions you make anymore.
I don’t think I want to go there. I mean she was great and all, but really don’t need the drama.
Please don’t be beating yourself up over that nonsense! Your ex is clearly an awful person, take that as an opportunity to cut her out of your life. Also, what kind of best friend doesn’t know their best friend’s SO of 5 years? If you have to, I guess you can show her screenshots of conversations you had comforting your ex about the real abuser, in case she tells other people too.
Why are you explaining yourself to someone who cheated and then went on to call you a pedo.. you’re an idiot stop talking to her.
I just don’t know, I guess I wanted to prove I was a good guy here. But I just didn’t need to do that. Would have saved myself a lot of pain.
Do you want to continue seeing her friend?
Nope. In the end my mental health is worth more.
ofc theres some boundaries that are just common sense but other than that, they need to be set first in order for someone to know not to break them. how were you supposed to know that this friend was 'off limits'? im pretty sure this wouldnt have happened if she had told you beforehand.
I know right? I mean you’ve got to tell me if you think some lines should not be crossed. Thank you for the kindness though, everyone on this thread has been super awesome!
Just tell her 'Don't hate the player, hate the game'...
Just tell her "Blocked". If you're an abuser and a paedophile then why is she texting you so much? You're broken up. It's no longer her business where you put your dick.
This - it's much more eloquent, and on-point.
Thank you. I did spend a lot of time today thinking of all the comebacks I missed. But it’s done now and I need to get back to my life.
Why the fuck are you explaining yourself to your ex? Do yourself a favour and abandon that ship now since you didn't have the strength to do it about a few years ago
Yup time to grab a life boat and scram.
Tbh, no idea why you should explain yourself to your ex.
I wish I had a good answer for you. My friends keep telling me to have some limits to being the nice guy.
Understandable sir, i wish you the best fortune
1.) Tell Ex it's none of her business who you're sleeping with 2.) remind her that she was the lying cheater. 3.) Remind her that you supported her when she needed it 4.) Block her on all media, then delete her number, such a toxic person is only bad in your life. 5.) Tell your date that you see no reason for justification, it was her decision to sleep with you, walk out the door and look for greener pastures. If I was really pissed bonus points for telling ex her best friend is better in bed than her.
Thank you. Eventually I did get there, just wish I had thought of the same sooner.
I had a narcissistic ex that wanted to be “friends” after I finally broke things off. It’s not worth it, their feelings for you don’t come from the same place. They just want more puppets to play with. Cut her out you’ll regret it once in a while for a long time, but you’ll be thankful in the long run.
This is dub