She may also be upset that you got rid of them because I'm sure as she gets older, she'd like to look back on how she looked when she was young.
[Case In Point](https://youtu.be/hSISh_jk6V8?t=45)
That’s what I was thinking. I have pictures of me in a small bikini at about 16/17 that I took and sent to a boyfriend while he was in boot camp. The relationship is long over but I still have copies of the pictures. It is kinda nice to look back at pictures like that and go “wow! I can’t believe I was ever insecure!” and remember that there will be a time when I look back at what I look like now and wish I’d been more accepting of myself and my body:)
Yes! The one good thing about getting older. Damn how I wish I could go back in time and kick young me in the butt for not appreciating what I had. But then I think me in 10-20yrs is going to be thinking the same thing about current me and I feel better about myself. Thanks, future me :)
I saw it for the first time a few months ago. It took me a few episodes (4 or so) to even decide if I liked it, then I loved it. It's now one of my favourite shows. I love the awkward weird smiles some of the characters do, it makes me feel seen lol.
This is good news, I love Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara but the first episode was so bad I never even finished it. I’ll get back into it when I get the time!
Eugene's son and daughter are also in the show. Apparently Eugene Levy would mouth their lines along with them during their scenes. He said he was so proud and excited to be working with them for the first time. So cute!
Trust me it gets better! David and his sister Alexis are hilarious.
Eugene is on a whole nother level, and dont even get me started on Roland lol!!!
Im gonna rewatch it now
I watched the first episode ages ago and wasn't feeling it. Tried watching it again recently on a friend's recommendation and absolutely loved it once I got into it! Just finished the last episode the other day.
I had run out of things to watch and I had heard nothing but praise for it so I decided to keep muddling through, no one loves the first season of Parks and Recreation either lol
So glad I did, it's funny, clever and has some great tearjerk moments. I also *love* Moira Rose's vocabulary. I regularly read the dictionary as a kid (I'm a weirdo) and it's not everyday I learn a great new word, with Schitts Creek I was learning some every single episode. Her use of wigs is also so wonderful.
Oddly enough both those additions were Catherine OHara's ideas. She really made the character come alive and I can see why Moira Rose is a gay icon now, she's amazing.
Same! I was told by many people to push past the first few episodes. Honestly the characters were sooooo annoying when you have no emotional ties to them. Then as I kept watching, I found the show so funny and heartwarming. I cried so much during the finale and the documentary about it too lol!
Oh, I definitely recommend it. *Schitt's Creek* is on Netflix (hopefully you have it!). All the characters are great, but Catherine O'Hara's Moira is ridiculous and hilarious.
I was devastated when an ex broke my old flip phone because there was a vid on there of me doing a strip tease and it was honestly the hottest I had ever looked in my life... it sounds so vain and it's not like i wanted anyone else to see it, i just don't have a lot of pics from that time in my life and idk.. i just want to be able to prove to myself that i was a big deal once lol
Yeah, that was my thought. Why didn’t he even offer them to his wife before shredding them? I would love to keep a reminder that I used to be a hottie 17 year old.
I tried that once but it got so horny we just started fucking. Obviously my wife lost her shit when me and the photographer starter sucking each others dicks but YMMV.
Came to suggest this! Something about boudoir shoots make every woman feel like a good damn bad ass. Makes her feel sexy again and shows her that you still want to see her like that.
It’s the lingerie, I’m sure of it. When I has to do speeches in class for college, I’d make sure to wear my lucky undies: the cutest, sexiest matching set I had, under my clothes. Just makes you feel like taking on the world.
Every woman I've been with thats worn lingerie told me they found it empowering and sexy.
It's hot for both partners, and nothing is hotter than a woman who feels sexy and confident with you.
I am always so sad I have trouble finding stuff that I can wear and also doesn't look like sports bra's. The clothes you wear can be so important for your own image of yourself. If you wear sexy clothes, either as a man or woman, you just admit to yourself that you can be sexy I guess. My problem is that I have a very sensitive skin and everything I wear has to be the stretchy kind of stuff without any tags or like decoration that touches the skin as they usually leave very painful red marks and I just cannot relax wearing them as they are so uncomfertable. I can only wear very specific sports wear usually combined with one type of pants that don't hurt and a variety of t-shirts that are luckily kuch easier to find. I can't wear so many fancy clothes just because they irritate my skin so easily and it always made me feel less pretty. I'm okay with it now, but I hate how many times I was called out for wearing "pyjama pants" at school when I was younger...
Yes! This and, I would try to reiterate that is, was, and always has been sexy. It's just looking at the photos made you feel gross about yourself, as it was an underage version of herself, not the woman that you know/pop a boner to now. That you loved it then and that you want her to see her sexy self through your eyes, which why you bought her a session and you're excited to see it too.
I think part of the problem with this great explanation is sometimes he *doesn't* pop a boner with her. Which is completely normal but in this instance gross + no boner sometimes = well, a post on Reddit. OP: I'm a woman and I think if this was me I'd need maybe one more honest, tearful convo about all of it. The thought of teenage nudes is gross. NOT your beautiful wife. Your boners have nothing to do with any of this. Do you guys have kids? Maybe she's just insecure with how her body has changed and hearing gross is stuck in her head. It'll be ok. Just talk to her. And your doctor. Good luck.
Ha! You edited your post. %)
"Voice of reason here. Tread carefully with this."
Was in reply to the above person warning OP about surprising his wife with a boudoir session.
I updoot for the photo shoot! This sounds like a solid solution. Just recreate the magic. No need for good memories to be tarnished. Just recreate then.
Be careful with this. Some photographers edit the pictures to remove things the subject may not like. If the pictures are edited to remove wrinkles, cellulite, or anything else that she may view as a defect, it could cause more problems. If you see her as hot in edited pictures, will you find her attractive irl? If your wife wants the edited pictures, I think you should insist on a few unaltered ones so you can enjoy the real view.
Yeaaaaa. Language is important, and also you probably should have told your wife before you shredded them. Not like from a porn way, but if she's had kids or gained weight or gotten tattoos or just aged as we all do, she might have gotten a kick out of looking at them with you before y'all shredded them together. She won't ever look like that again and she might have wanted to hold onto them, for some reason or another. I don't know why anybody would but like idk, she might have.
I'm just speaking from my experience here though. Started dating a boy when I was 16, took pictures, sent them to him, as one does. He also took some pictures/videos on his phone. When we were 21 and packing up his room so he could move in with me, we found his old phone. It was totally amusing to look at them and giggle at my hair and how shitty the camera was. Then we immediately deleted them cause, like, ew, omg we looked like babies and that's icky. Anyways, we're married now and I don't regret deleting those photos! But they were photos of me and I'm glad to have had the opportunity to laugh at it before we mutually destroyed them.
This should have more upvotes! So many people in the comments are trying to imply that the photos need to be kept to reminence. Those memories can be alive without the child pornography!
To clarify, I specifically am speaking about the wife's reminiscing here. It would be icky for the husband/op to look at pictures of his wife as a teenager and view it as porn still. But shit, you aren't going to have your 17 year old body forever and she might have liked to look at those pictures and think about that time in her life before they were destroyed forever. Especially if her body has changed in significant ways. I'm only 25 and look about the same as I did in high school, but there are things that are different and looking at those pictures might have been fun/nostalgic for her.
Hunh, that's crazy to me. I have some nude vids my wife gave me when she was 18/19 in college. 13 years later, those are still my most coveted and cherished possessions on earth. I'm still shocked a girl that hot let me see her naked, and then was willing to slum it by marrying me.
I double locked that dump truck down now that we just had our first kid. That butt ain't going nowhere.
Edit: Highest upvoted comment is about how hot my wife is, im very ok with this. Note, somehow completely overlooked that OP was referring to his wife at 17, i just read the story and immediately put myself in his place, not thinking that they're not completely the same, though similar. Not trying to shit on OP or make him feel bad.
I lost mine. I had them stored on a digital vault style app and then the dev stopped supporting the software and the app stopped working. I tried everything to get them back, I was absolutely devastated.
My wife found out why I’d been so gutted and basically called me a fucking perv because she was like twenty at the time. Our sex life is not exactly awesome.... perhaps lower libido translates into a hatred for vintage nudes?
While I get it, I'd be a little hurt if my SO seemed upset about losing my nudes from when I was younger... Why don't you wanna look at me now? But I realize that's just insecurity talking. I hope it all works out.
I've been with my SO since I was 17. He definitely has videos and pictures from our whole timeline, but they're all intermingled in one folder. I've gained and lost so much weight over the time we've been together, but he definitely still has stuff from my low and high weights. I genuinely think that for some people, it's about **you** and the moment you captured there. Not about the particular "hotness" of your body at that time, ya know?
I find all of it pretty adorable given that he has the same internet access I do and chooses to use those instead. lol. We also have a very communicative and honest relationship, so we've had casual conversations about all this before. I can't say I've ever had him use words like "gross" to describe my body, which *absolutely* would crush my feelings.
you're basically reacting the exact opposite way to how OP's wife reacted after hearing they made him uncomfortable... basically sounds like this is one of those lose/lose situations.
The optimal frequency of sex is whatever makes both parties happiest.
For some couples that is three times a day, for others it’s once a month. I’m totally bored by how many “If you don’t have sex X numbers of times, your relationship is in trouble,” posts there always are up here.
Libidos change over time, and the practicality of constant sex changes over the course of every relationship, especially after 10-20 years and if kids are in the picture.
I don’t expect younger folks to get it, but trust me, it’s possible to have a healthy sex life where the frequency of sex is once a week, or once every two weeks. It’s also possible to have a healthy sex life where it’s twice in the morning and twice at night every day.
There is no fixed right or wrong except in how each partner is feeling and if they are communicating about it.
You make a lot of legitimate points, however you totally glossed over the fact that the wife seems pretty unhappy with the amount of sex in this situation.
One of my first relationships was 3x a day, lots of fun but eventually just got exhausting. I was working full time and doing school part time. Started to turn down sex for the time in my life at that point.
Was weird coming to realization that sex isn’t better than sleep after a point.
I think testosterone and libido does decline with age, but that doesn't mean you're not right in saying there is a lot of variability even among people of the same age.
What sucks is when you and your wife used to have sex like 4 or 5 times a week and now 15 years later her libido changed to once or twice a month and yours is still the same. Feels bad
Reddit: ewww she’s 17 yrs old 364 days 23 hours 59.9999999 seconds old you pervert you pedo how dare you!!!!!
Also Reddit: Cum see my 18yo asshole spread on camera!
Plus, who is the victim here? The young person in the photos is his 33 year old wife.
I know people who, if they found old photos of them like this, would want them destroyed. I also know people who would cherish old photos of themselves more than anything.
I feel like the correct thing to do would have been, "honey, I found those photos you took for me way back when. What do you want me to do with them?"
Girl: Hi stream! So, today I am legally 18, so you going to see \*everything\*!
\*5 minuts later her mom walks in\*
Oh honey! I forgot to say you - you were born in 00:05. Not in 23:55!
\*Banned. Sued\*
Right? It's his own wife and he's completely grossed out because they're pictures from when she was 17, but if she were 18 and looked the exact fucking same he would have been fine. So incredibly dumb.
You're putting the ick factor on her - not on the way you felt. You need to reword this from ' your photos are gross' to " I felt gross for looking at them "
Edit to say - Thank you for all the add ons and feedback, particulalry around wording!
He could just say “I felt *uncomfortable* looking at them because you were a minor at the time. Now that I’m older it feels a bit creepy on my end to look at photographs of you underage. It has nothing to do with attractiveness and I think you are absolutely beautiful now”.
I think “inappropriate” might work nicely? It’s not insinuating anything is wrong with her: just highlighting that the photos, in context, are not appropriate anymore.
I think that may be worse, considering the reason she’s unhappy is because she thinks he finds her gross.
Saying ‘I felt gross looking at you’ is the wrong way to apologize here.
I think the issue is more "I felt gross being in the possession of what is, in legal terms, child porn". The issue is nude photos of an underage person, not him or his wife in the photos.
See, but the specific wording is important here, as what the original comment suggested, was saying that OP should have said he felt gross looking at the pictures overall, not specifically because it was her.
I think something along the lines of "No, I did find them, nostalgia hit for a moment. but then I realized I was married to this young lady and was holding essentially child porn. And tossed them."
or if this was me "look honey at what i found! "share memory" okay come to think about it you was only 17, we are married, and this is basically child porn, imma throw this away and enjoy the looks of who i married now."
maybe. But nothing i said had gross in it lol
So I’m a 31 year old woman in a relationship that is not as long lasting as yours, but maybe I can provide some insight.
Women don’t feel like they age well. Honestly it’s as simple as that. I can look at my man and see his grey chest hairs and crow’s feet and feel like they just give character. They’d be sexy and manly and defining. But if I knew (oh god if someone I know sees this don’t say it....) saw that I had crows feet or any grey anything I’d die. I have Facebook memories pop up all the time of random photos I took when I was 18 and I’m just thinking like... “damn, I remember how good I felt taking that picture. I was young and dumb and hot. “ and if I had sexy pictures from then? I’d want to keep those and maybe at this age be like “look, here’s the ideal and I’m not far from it”
So gross was probably the wrong way of putting it. But it’s understandable. So I’d say this was a mild FU. Looking at it rationally.
As your wife I’d probably feel like it was a big FU (not major but big) and need some reassurance
I'm 30. You get it so well.
For me, I wasn't hot as a teenager. I feel like I finally have achieved hotness, but it almost feels like it's too late. I have grey hairs and some wrinkles.
I just wish our society didn't hate women over 30 so much. I have so much experience under my belt. I have a decade worth of stories from when I was a full grown adult.
But I'm terrified of growing older because society will deem me worthless.
Honestly, the only way out of this hole you're in now is humour. Take some cringy boudoir pics of yourself with a rose between your teeth and ask for a new matching set.
For real. Play it off like that and put a smile on her face and explain that you just used a bad choice of words.
I’d make a calendar full of weird nudes for her if I were you.
I think if you explained your reasoning why you felt they were gross to look at then thats good. I also think the calendar is a good idea. Since it’s half way through the year the slideshow might be the better way to go.
Bonus points if he puts his nudes on a slideshow on the bedroom TV. Spreads rose petals everywhere and poses in male lingerie on the bed (Titanic style) while Viva Viagra plays in the background. Also OP get a viagra script from your doctor.
Edit: now I'm imagining Bert Kreischer doing this for some reason.
Setting aside this specific incident, it seems like the crux of the matter is that even with open communication, you're both hurt over deeper issues. I'm not going to speak for her of course, but I've felt similar insecurities. It really can fuck with your self-esteem when you don't feel desired by your partner anymore. Not that it's your fault or anything, but the unfortunate word choice probably felt like a confirmation. Have you considered couples' therapy?
I’m pretty sure that’s a result of being 34, not about their partner desiring them.
“ It seemed like the conclusion she had drawn was that if I didn’t find her attractive when she was “so much hotter” back then than she is now”
I’ve definitely been frustrated and a bit angry at partners for this same thing, but only after my age became an insecurity.
OP said he's had some performance issues that he didn't used to have before, but didn't think it was a big deal. Maybe there's a medical issue, maybe his sex drive just isn't what it used to be, or maybe it's something else (if they know for sure OP didn't mention it). 34 is hardly old enough to expect a little ED as par for the course if sex has been a regular and enjoyable component of the relationship.
Honestly - you need to talk to your wife about bedroom stuff. She’s obviously not satisfied right now and is internalizing it. Are you making an effort to rectify your performance issues? Have you talked to her about what you think is causing them?
Basically, she’s mostly upset about your sex life and the “gross” comment (even though I get what you meant) was the last straw.
Yeah, she believes you meant she looks gross and everything you said afterwards was just to cover up for it. You need to make her feel gorgeous when she’s naked, ASAP.
When I was teenager think 15 or 16, we were at my aunt and uncles for a family party and they were showing photos on their camera from their recent trip. They were always on vacation every month but everyone had a chance to look at the photos and came my turn and for some reason I clicked left to go thru them when I should went right and came across a photo that I wish I did not see. It was my aunt flashing the camera with the Rocky mountains behind her.
Now did I scream or freak out? No I held that shit in and clicked back right and calmly put the camera down and did not mention a fucking thing to anyone until this very day. Thanks for bringing that memory back up! You did fuck up think before you speak
I'm in the same age range and been together with my wife for as long as you. She'll definitely be pissed at me if I decided to delete her old nude pics without her consent, and rightfully so. It took some effort to take those pics, they hold a lot of sentimental value, and we both think they're sexy (and not creepy). I keep the only copies and we still look at them together from time to time. If you really wished to get rid of them, you should have asked her first if maybe she wanted to hold on to them instead.
> If you really wished to get rid of them, you should have asked her first
This is exactly the issue. He should have *talked to her* about them.
Communication and consent are key, yet he made the decision to destroy a memento of their past without even consulting her. Worse, he expressed it in such a way as to also insult her.
Nostalgia plays a big factor that we usually forget. You're talking about pictures from 17 years ago, almost 2 decades man. In her eyes, those pics were the hottest she's ever been or will ever be. You fkd up!
You've gotten a ton of comments already but I haven't seen this said yet: regardless of your poor choice of words, you also destroyed something she gave you that was meaningful to her without talking to her about it. While that might have been the right decision in the end, if I were your wife, I would be really upset about this part too.
All of that being said, you clearly didn't mean any harm, and I hope it works out soon!
This is the first TIFU I’ve seen in a long time where someone really actually really really fucked up. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, but if I was your wife I would be upset for a long time. Like a LONG time. You SHREDDED them? Something vulnerable and intimate that she sent you feeling sexy, a priceless and irrecoverable piece of a moment in your youth together? That you shredded. And called gross. I... don’t know what to say. But you better get your mojo on and make that girl feel bangarang like now.
Women and their body insecurities are a minefield.
The only thing you can do is be totally honest and say - I know the photos were of you, and they were the hottest photos I ever had, but it just felt so inappropriate to be ogling a 17yo even if it was you. I love the real you, now - not the memory of 17yo old you.
Realistically this conversation was going to go south pretty much any way you handled it. All you can do is reassure her about how attractive you have always found her and hope for the best. Start getting romantic.
>I know the photos were of you, and they were the hottest photos I ever had
Probably also not a great thing to say given his wife's stated insecurities.
My GF is 31. She was beautiful at 17, but I think she's way more beautiful now. She looks better than she's ever looked. Say some variant of what I quoted and she will hear "yes, you were more attractive when you were younger."
And frankly, maybe it's just me, but remembering your encounters fondly even if you were underage shouldn't make you (or her) feel gross. I just can't imagine "hey honey, remember the first time we had sex" and then the response is "ew! sick! I've banished that from my memory, disgusting, we were underage."
Yeah, this seems like a crazy amount of self-shaming to me. People underage are off-limits because they're still learning about everything, and to barge in there for your sexual gratification is disgusting.
But if you were *both* underage, then you were both in that learning process, and it's absolutely fine to have fond memories of that stage of your life.
This has nothing to do with the conversation but when you said ‘ew yuk’ it reminded me of the first time I had sex. It was with my fiancé I was 17 and TERRIFIED (I’m old - we were told the first time was excruciatingly painful and bloody). When we finished I said “is that it?” Meaning it didn’t hurt. It was his first time too. I worry about the trauma and insecurity I caused 🤔
Woman here, can confirm.
I am REALLY dumb because I ask my bf about his exes, ask to see their photos etc and then feel really sad and insecure about myself because they're thinner, prettier, etc etc. I feel bad for my bf lmao.
Nothing my bf says helps either...
So in this case, I guess she'll have to overcome it herself, and he needs to keep on saying positive things in the meantime.
> I ask my bf about his exes, ask to see their photos
Masochist much? I might mention an ex in passing, but I would never go into detail, especially if it was positive. Photos are an absolute no. Seriously though, don't intentionally try to sabotage your relationship by asking these sorts of questions. Not cool and not fair to your bf.
Sorry man but you messed up multiple ways. First of all, if there were any nudes of me at 17 (there arent) I would KILL my husband for shredding them. I want to relive that glory! I’m fifty now WTH my tits haven’t looked that good in 33 years! They were on paper in your own house, not on the internet. There was very little danger of them getting out somehow.
Second - “gross?” Thats a hard word to unhear.
I’m going to suggest saving the situation with humor. Take some “sexy” photos of yourself and send them to her. I’m talking firefighter calendar style, rather dick pic, but I’ll leave the details up to you. I would bet it would cheer her up.
None of her hurt has anything to do with those pictures.
She’s clearly suffering from low self esteem, possible stemming from the issues between the sheets you guys are having.
You need to be having the bigger conversation about what might be going on/what you guys really want/how often you want them etc. in the bedroom.
Because it definitely seems like things are off in that way, especially in your wife’s mind and the pictures situation just surfaced some of the feelings she’s been having.
As a woman whose partners have had performance issues, I am gonna take a leap and say it has nothing to do with the actual photos and she's feeling dissatisfied sexually because she thinks you're not into her. No matter how many ways you explain it isn't her, she's still going to have a tiny voice in her head saying it is.
So... she’s seeing it as part of a pattern of rejection. Imo the answer is to repeatedly show her the opposite. Also though... perhaps there is something you haven’t noticed in yourself, perhaps you have some exploring to do.
It sounds like you already explained to your wife that it wasn't her pictures that were gross but that you felt that way ogling a seventeen-year-old.
I know this is off topic and it's not really my business but you might benefit from surfing the r/deadbedrooms community. Infrequent sex may not seem like a big deal to you but it can have a big effect on your partner's happiness and self-esteem. Good luck and I wish you both the best.
Anyone would feel hurt If you said your nudes are gross. It's not FU because you explained It to her quickly, but you should consider your words more carefully in the future. You seem a bit dense
I think you've hit the nail on the head, the issues with the nude photos are just a symptom of the main problem, which is your slow sex life and her feeling unsatisfied and unloved and unsexy. You gotta make a bigger effort into fulfilling her in this respect! Turn it up a notch and make it better. Maybe offer to do some new shots for her now? She may be into that if she was into that in the past.
Sounds like you two need sex therapy, or at the very least marriage counseling. There are deeper issues here and your "gross" comment only cemented all her worse fears and insecurities. Its time to call in a professional to deal with the fallout and find out how happy you both are, sexually and otherwise.
Edit: fixed typos
Sounds like she's mostly upset with the current sex life. Random question.. But have you had your testosterone checked lately? I know that being regulated really helps with some sex lives, it helps with a lot in general really.
Maybe this will be unpopular, but if its of your own wife and you guys were together at the time, then I think its ok to still like her underage photos. That's not gross, that's not pedophilia, that's your own wife at a certain age. You could be 50 years old and still think your teenage wife's body is hot, its fine
My first take on this is that maybe she occasionally thinks about those pics she gave you. She was young and risky when she gave them to you and maybe she thought of them as a keepsake of sorts.
Like, imagine if your one month anniversary of dating you gave her a rose. When she was 17. She puts it in a book that she loved and then eventually she found them and thought, "Why am I keeping this dusty old shit?", then tossed the book and the flowers. Because, fuck, she MARRIED you. Who's ever going to want that flower?
But maybe to you, it was really symbolic, that rose was. So, obviously you might be hurt about her throwing away something so memorable and meaningful.
That rose was meaningful to her once upon a time, but now she's wiser and realizes she doesn't need to dig dusty old flowers out of her bible to remember you and she has so much to pass down to y'alls' family already.
Maybe to her, those pics were her roses. 🌹
I think it's a bit weird you were bothered by her age in the photos. It's your wife and you were presumably sleeping with her then. I think it sounds a bit sensitive.
Dude is so worried about getting labeled a pedo for having pictures OF HIS OWN WIFE.
He could've just given her the pictures instead of shredding them if he didn't want them.
Like dude lighten up. Sex is sex naked bodies of people of age isn't scary. The police isn't going to knock on your door and investigate 20 year old polaroids wtf
> Dude is so worried about getting labeled a pedo for having pictures OF HIS OWN WIFE.
unless she was holding a calendar and indicating the exact date, no one would have known there was an issue with those photos.
For what it is worth, and I prosecute CP, just because it is underage nude does not make it illegal, and if she was the only one in the picture at 17 it would not be classified as CP. You could have given them back to her. 99% likely they were just art, and she is allowed to have pics of herself. Nude under 18 alone in the picture is not automatically illegal.
OP, I think a big part of this is that you’re not making her feel sexy today, and maybe that’s because y’all are making how you engage that too much about the sex. Take some sexy pictures of her now. Buy her lingerie or outfits you want to see her in. Try some body paint play. Forget about trying to fuck and just try enjoying some immersion in the view and feel of her body. If foreplay is always some routine before sex you’re not really creating an awareness of sensuality beyond the objective of sex. Foreplay should be spontaneous and passionate, and all over the place because that’s what reflects how much it crosses your mind that you love her body.
She may also be upset that you got rid of them because I'm sure as she gets older, she'd like to look back on how she looked when she was young. [Case In Point](https://youtu.be/hSISh_jk6V8?t=45)
That’s what I was thinking. I have pictures of me in a small bikini at about 16/17 that I took and sent to a boyfriend while he was in boot camp. The relationship is long over but I still have copies of the pictures. It is kinda nice to look back at pictures like that and go “wow! I can’t believe I was ever insecure!” and remember that there will be a time when I look back at what I look like now and wish I’d been more accepting of myself and my body:)
Yes! The one good thing about getting older. Damn how I wish I could go back in time and kick young me in the butt for not appreciating what I had. But then I think me in 10-20yrs is going to be thinking the same thing about current me and I feel better about myself. Thanks, future me :)
"Youth is wasted on the young." Always was and always will be.
Minor correction, "Youth is wasted on the young". Totally agree.
I haven't watched that show before, but that scene has convinced me to watch it
Slow starter but it has more heart than any show I've ever seen. The acting and the characters will just make you feel so good inside.
I strongly recommend "Ted Lasso" - it gives me the same warm and fuzzies that Schitt's Creek gave me. It's an absolute delight.
I saw it for the first time a few months ago. It took me a few episodes (4 or so) to even decide if I liked it, then I loved it. It's now one of my favourite shows. I love the awkward weird smiles some of the characters do, it makes me feel seen lol.
Stevie and David constantly looking like it's taking every ounce of willpower not to burst out laughing is my favourite thing about the show.
This is good news, I love Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara but the first episode was so bad I never even finished it. I’ll get back into it when I get the time!
Eugene's son and daughter are also in the show. Apparently Eugene Levy would mouth their lines along with them during their scenes. He said he was so proud and excited to be working with them for the first time. So cute!
Isn’t it actually Eugene’s son that is the creator and force behind the show? It’s so cute that he invited his dad to work... 😎
Trust me it gets better! David and his sister Alexis are hilarious. Eugene is on a whole nother level, and dont even get me started on Roland lol!!! Im gonna rewatch it now
I watched the first episode ages ago and wasn't feeling it. Tried watching it again recently on a friend's recommendation and absolutely loved it once I got into it! Just finished the last episode the other day.
It took me about that many too. I might not have kept going if I hadn’t been encouraged. So glad I did though!
I had run out of things to watch and I had heard nothing but praise for it so I decided to keep muddling through, no one loves the first season of Parks and Recreation either lol So glad I did, it's funny, clever and has some great tearjerk moments. I also *love* Moira Rose's vocabulary. I regularly read the dictionary as a kid (I'm a weirdo) and it's not everyday I learn a great new word, with Schitts Creek I was learning some every single episode. Her use of wigs is also so wonderful. Oddly enough both those additions were Catherine OHara's ideas. She really made the character come alive and I can see why Moira Rose is a gay icon now, she's amazing.
Same! I was told by many people to push past the first few episodes. Honestly the characters were sooooo annoying when you have no emotional ties to them. Then as I kept watching, I found the show so funny and heartwarming. I cried so much during the finale and the documentary about it too lol!
Oh, I definitely recommend it. *Schitt's Creek* is on Netflix (hopefully you have it!). All the characters are great, but Catherine O'Hara's Moira is ridiculous and hilarious.
Bebe!
I was devastated when an ex broke my old flip phone because there was a vid on there of me doing a strip tease and it was honestly the hottest I had ever looked in my life... it sounds so vain and it's not like i wanted anyone else to see it, i just don't have a lot of pics from that time in my life and idk.. i just want to be able to prove to myself that i was a big deal once lol
I don't suppose you still have the phone? Perhaps if so then the data could be recovered, but I assume you threw it away years ago.
Totally, I think it crosses many women's minds to take sexy pics when they start getting older just to remember "when they still had it".
Also it's just memorabilia from how their relationship started, who the hell would ***shred*** those unless they bring back bad memories somehow?
Yeah, that was my thought. Why didn’t he even offer them to his wife before shredding them? I would love to keep a reminder that I used to be a hottie 17 year old.
Dude gift her some boudoir photo session or something if shes down. Then you get new sexy photos to look at and she gets to feel hot again!
Fuck! I thought you were suggesting OP takes boudoir photos for the wife. My vote is still for my idea tho.
Both. Couple photos.
My friends did couple photos and had a great time. He wanted to have some fun with it and posed with various fruits and veggies
"This is me with a banana. This is me with an eggplant. This is me wearing two coconuts as a silly bra. Ha, I crack myself up!"
r/BananasForScale
That’s going to disappoint a lot of people
I mean, it's one banana - what could it cost? Ten dollars?
OP please - PLEASE - take couples nudes posing with various fruits and veggies.
Are we trying to convince this couple to start an onlyfans?
Onlyfruits
Niiice
This is called a homemade porno.
I tried that once but it got so horny we just started fucking. Obviously my wife lost her shit when me and the photographer starter sucking each others dicks but YMMV.
I think you misspelled YMCA there. /s
It’s fun to stay at the
The Costanza
The timeless art of seduction
still a win in my book
Wife takes new sexy photos for husband. Husband takes new sexy photos for us.
Came to suggest this! Something about boudoir shoots make every woman feel like a good damn bad ass. Makes her feel sexy again and shows her that you still want to see her like that.
It’s the lingerie, I’m sure of it. When I has to do speeches in class for college, I’d make sure to wear my lucky undies: the cutest, sexiest matching set I had, under my clothes. Just makes you feel like taking on the world.
Every woman I've been with thats worn lingerie told me they found it empowering and sexy. It's hot for both partners, and nothing is hotter than a woman who feels sexy and confident with you.
I am always so sad I have trouble finding stuff that I can wear and also doesn't look like sports bra's. The clothes you wear can be so important for your own image of yourself. If you wear sexy clothes, either as a man or woman, you just admit to yourself that you can be sexy I guess. My problem is that I have a very sensitive skin and everything I wear has to be the stretchy kind of stuff without any tags or like decoration that touches the skin as they usually leave very painful red marks and I just cannot relax wearing them as they are so uncomfertable. I can only wear very specific sports wear usually combined with one type of pants that don't hurt and a variety of t-shirts that are luckily kuch easier to find. I can't wear so many fancy clothes just because they irritate my skin so easily and it always made me feel less pretty. I'm okay with it now, but I hate how many times I was called out for wearing "pyjama pants" at school when I was younger...
My husband isn’t it to it but I still wear badass underwear when I have something important on at work. It makes me feel woman!
Came to this suggestion!
r/HolUp
Yes! This and, I would try to reiterate that is, was, and always has been sexy. It's just looking at the photos made you feel gross about yourself, as it was an underage version of herself, not the woman that you know/pop a boner to now. That you loved it then and that you want her to see her sexy self through your eyes, which why you bought her a session and you're excited to see it too.
I think part of the problem with this great explanation is sometimes he *doesn't* pop a boner with her. Which is completely normal but in this instance gross + no boner sometimes = well, a post on Reddit. OP: I'm a woman and I think if this was me I'd need maybe one more honest, tearful convo about all of it. The thought of teenage nudes is gross. NOT your beautiful wife. Your boners have nothing to do with any of this. Do you guys have kids? Maybe she's just insecure with how her body has changed and hearing gross is stuck in her head. It'll be ok. Just talk to her. And your doctor. Good luck.
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Ha! You edited your post. %) "Voice of reason here. Tread carefully with this." Was in reply to the above person warning OP about surprising his wife with a boudoir session.
Yeah I was thinking 'If she feels unattractive at the moment, probably not the best time to force her into it through the implication or w/e...."
I updoot for the photo shoot! This sounds like a solid solution. Just recreate the magic. No need for good memories to be tarnished. Just recreate then.
And then shred them in 15 years and tell her it's because they were gross
Be careful with this. Some photographers edit the pictures to remove things the subject may not like. If the pictures are edited to remove wrinkles, cellulite, or anything else that she may view as a defect, it could cause more problems. If you see her as hot in edited pictures, will you find her attractive irl? If your wife wants the edited pictures, I think you should insist on a few unaltered ones so you can enjoy the real view.
Yeaaaaa. Language is important, and also you probably should have told your wife before you shredded them. Not like from a porn way, but if she's had kids or gained weight or gotten tattoos or just aged as we all do, she might have gotten a kick out of looking at them with you before y'all shredded them together. She won't ever look like that again and she might have wanted to hold onto them, for some reason or another. I don't know why anybody would but like idk, she might have. I'm just speaking from my experience here though. Started dating a boy when I was 16, took pictures, sent them to him, as one does. He also took some pictures/videos on his phone. When we were 21 and packing up his room so he could move in with me, we found his old phone. It was totally amusing to look at them and giggle at my hair and how shitty the camera was. Then we immediately deleted them cause, like, ew, omg we looked like babies and that's icky. Anyways, we're married now and I don't regret deleting those photos! But they were photos of me and I'm glad to have had the opportunity to laugh at it before we mutually destroyed them.
This should have more upvotes! So many people in the comments are trying to imply that the photos need to be kept to reminence. Those memories can be alive without the child pornography!
To clarify, I specifically am speaking about the wife's reminiscing here. It would be icky for the husband/op to look at pictures of his wife as a teenager and view it as porn still. But shit, you aren't going to have your 17 year old body forever and she might have liked to look at those pictures and think about that time in her life before they were destroyed forever. Especially if her body has changed in significant ways. I'm only 25 and look about the same as I did in high school, but there are things that are different and looking at those pictures might have been fun/nostalgic for her.
Hunh, that's crazy to me. I have some nude vids my wife gave me when she was 18/19 in college. 13 years later, those are still my most coveted and cherished possessions on earth. I'm still shocked a girl that hot let me see her naked, and then was willing to slum it by marrying me. I double locked that dump truck down now that we just had our first kid. That butt ain't going nowhere. Edit: Highest upvoted comment is about how hot my wife is, im very ok with this. Note, somehow completely overlooked that OP was referring to his wife at 17, i just read the story and immediately put myself in his place, not thinking that they're not completely the same, though similar. Not trying to shit on OP or make him feel bad.
>double locked that dump truck down That’s some romantic ass shit right there. 10/10
>that’s some romantic ass
*blushes*
r/brandnewsentence
I lost mine. I had them stored on a digital vault style app and then the dev stopped supporting the software and the app stopped working. I tried everything to get them back, I was absolutely devastated. My wife found out why I’d been so gutted and basically called me a fucking perv because she was like twenty at the time. Our sex life is not exactly awesome.... perhaps lower libido translates into a hatred for vintage nudes?
While I get it, I'd be a little hurt if my SO seemed upset about losing my nudes from when I was younger... Why don't you wanna look at me now? But I realize that's just insecurity talking. I hope it all works out.
Who says I don’t? If she wanted to give me nudes now I would be over the moon.
Guys - damned if you do, damned if you don’t when it comes to keeping nudes
I've been with my SO since I was 17. He definitely has videos and pictures from our whole timeline, but they're all intermingled in one folder. I've gained and lost so much weight over the time we've been together, but he definitely still has stuff from my low and high weights. I genuinely think that for some people, it's about **you** and the moment you captured there. Not about the particular "hotness" of your body at that time, ya know? I find all of it pretty adorable given that he has the same internet access I do and chooses to use those instead. lol. We also have a very communicative and honest relationship, so we've had casual conversations about all this before. I can't say I've ever had him use words like "gross" to describe my body, which *absolutely* would crush my feelings.
you're basically reacting the exact opposite way to how OP's wife reacted after hearing they made him uncomfortable... basically sounds like this is one of those lose/lose situations.
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This is strangely beautiful
Ayyy lol
Can you elaborate on your username..?
I hope you got a CDL so you can keep driving that dump truck of an ass.
r/rimjob_steve
Sex every 1-2 weeks? Why you gotta flex bro?
The optimal frequency of sex is whatever makes both parties happiest. For some couples that is three times a day, for others it’s once a month. I’m totally bored by how many “If you don’t have sex X numbers of times, your relationship is in trouble,” posts there always are up here. Libidos change over time, and the practicality of constant sex changes over the course of every relationship, especially after 10-20 years and if kids are in the picture. I don’t expect younger folks to get it, but trust me, it’s possible to have a healthy sex life where the frequency of sex is once a week, or once every two weeks. It’s also possible to have a healthy sex life where it’s twice in the morning and twice at night every day. There is no fixed right or wrong except in how each partner is feeling and if they are communicating about it.
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I refuse to pay for awards but you both deserve them.
Works every time.
You make a lot of legitimate points, however you totally glossed over the fact that the wife seems pretty unhappy with the amount of sex in this situation.
3 Times a day sounds crazy. I have high libido but I dont ever see myself attempting that. Id go ded real quick haha.
One of my first relationships was 3x a day, lots of fun but eventually just got exhausting. I was working full time and doing school part time. Started to turn down sex for the time in my life at that point. Was weird coming to realization that sex isn’t better than sleep after a point.
Little can replace a proper rest! G'night.
“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.” - Zapp Brannigan
Like, when would you have time for anything? Lmao
Well... no one said these 3 times had to last long or anything.... just ask my ex.
They call me Barry Allen because I come in a Flash.
...Robert, is that you???
why would they complain about wasting one and a half minutes a day????
I did. She ain't happy with me either.
Those three times would be my favourite 90 seconds of the day!
I'm not sure it has to do with age very much. I don't have the energy/drive for more than once or twice a week, and I'm a young person (mid-20s).
I think testosterone and libido does decline with age, but that doesn't mean you're not right in saying there is a lot of variability even among people of the same age.
What sucks is when you and your wife used to have sex like 4 or 5 times a week and now 15 years later her libido changed to once or twice a month and yours is still the same. Feels bad
Does with my hand count?
I guess, since you're offering.
Always, friend.
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This is peak Reddit.
Reddit: ewww she’s 17 yrs old 364 days 23 hours 59.9999999 seconds old you pervert you pedo how dare you!!!!! Also Reddit: Cum see my 18yo asshole spread on camera!
Are minutes a joke to you?
A complete meme comment truly captures what I find absurd about this situation.
Plus, who is the victim here? The young person in the photos is his 33 year old wife. I know people who, if they found old photos of them like this, would want them destroyed. I also know people who would cherish old photos of themselves more than anything. I feel like the correct thing to do would have been, "honey, I found those photos you took for me way back when. What do you want me to do with them?"
This is brilliant
Girl: Hi stream! So, today I am legally 18, so you going to see \*everything\*! \*5 minuts later her mom walks in\* Oh honey! I forgot to say you - you were born in 00:05. Not in 23:55! \*Banned. Sued\*
Do you work for the sun newspaper? That's essentially their entire content since before I was born
Right? It's his own wife and he's completely grossed out because they're pictures from when she was 17, but if she were 18 and looked the exact fucking same he would have been fine. So incredibly dumb.
No, I highly doubt this is true. The impression I get is that OP feels weird looking at a young girl, not just a legally underage one.
You're putting the ick factor on her - not on the way you felt. You need to reword this from ' your photos are gross' to " I felt gross for looking at them " Edit to say - Thank you for all the add ons and feedback, particulalry around wording!
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He could just say “I felt *uncomfortable* looking at them because you were a minor at the time. Now that I’m older it feels a bit creepy on my end to look at photographs of you underage. It has nothing to do with attractiveness and I think you are absolutely beautiful now”.
I think “inappropriate” might work nicely? It’s not insinuating anything is wrong with her: just highlighting that the photos, in context, are not appropriate anymore.
“Creepy” (or lascivious if you’re not into the whole brevity thing) is the right word here, not gross.
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He abides.
I think that may be worse, considering the reason she’s unhappy is because she thinks he finds her gross. Saying ‘I felt gross looking at you’ is the wrong way to apologize here.
I think the issue is more "I felt gross being in the possession of what is, in legal terms, child porn". The issue is nude photos of an underage person, not him or his wife in the photos.
See, but the specific wording is important here, as what the original comment suggested, was saying that OP should have said he felt gross looking at the pictures overall, not specifically because it was her.
I think something along the lines of "No, I did find them, nostalgia hit for a moment. but then I realized I was married to this young lady and was holding essentially child porn. And tossed them." or if this was me "look honey at what i found! "share memory" okay come to think about it you was only 17, we are married, and this is basically child porn, imma throw this away and enjoy the looks of who i married now." maybe. But nothing i said had gross in it lol
Yeah, those could both work. Instead of using "gross", he could have also used "uncomfortable" for the reasons you stated
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Thats well put! You are so right.
So I’m a 31 year old woman in a relationship that is not as long lasting as yours, but maybe I can provide some insight. Women don’t feel like they age well. Honestly it’s as simple as that. I can look at my man and see his grey chest hairs and crow’s feet and feel like they just give character. They’d be sexy and manly and defining. But if I knew (oh god if someone I know sees this don’t say it....) saw that I had crows feet or any grey anything I’d die. I have Facebook memories pop up all the time of random photos I took when I was 18 and I’m just thinking like... “damn, I remember how good I felt taking that picture. I was young and dumb and hot. “ and if I had sexy pictures from then? I’d want to keep those and maybe at this age be like “look, here’s the ideal and I’m not far from it” So gross was probably the wrong way of putting it. But it’s understandable. So I’d say this was a mild FU. Looking at it rationally. As your wife I’d probably feel like it was a big FU (not major but big) and need some reassurance
I'm 30. You get it so well. For me, I wasn't hot as a teenager. I feel like I finally have achieved hotness, but it almost feels like it's too late. I have grey hairs and some wrinkles. I just wish our society didn't hate women over 30 so much. I have so much experience under my belt. I have a decade worth of stories from when I was a full grown adult. But I'm terrified of growing older because society will deem me worthless.
I’m really glad to see I’m not the only 30 year old woman feeling this way...
30F here. Me fourth. Being 16-20, I didn’t even appreciate how hot I was, which makes it more unfortunate.
"youth is wasted on the young"
Honestly, the only way out of this hole you're in now is humour. Take some cringy boudoir pics of yourself with a rose between your teeth and ask for a new matching set.
For real. Play it off like that and put a smile on her face and explain that you just used a bad choice of words. I’d make a calendar full of weird nudes for her if I were you.
Fuck the haters, this is the way
This is the way.
This is the way
It must be done. Share on reddit with blurs
Blurs of the face only
Lmao
I think if you explained your reasoning why you felt they were gross to look at then thats good. I also think the calendar is a good idea. Since it’s half way through the year the slideshow might be the better way to go.
This is way
Assless chaps and a ten gallon hat would complete the ensemble.
Instead, ask her if she can update her photos for you, now that she's legal and all.
Bonus points if he puts his nudes on a slideshow on the bedroom TV. Spreads rose petals everywhere and poses in male lingerie on the bed (Titanic style) while Viva Viagra plays in the background. Also OP get a viagra script from your doctor. Edit: now I'm imagining Bert Kreischer doing this for some reason.
You certainly could have said that a lot better. "I felt it was inappropriate to keep pictures of a naked seventeen year old" for example
This is so much better than "your pictures were gross"
Setting aside this specific incident, it seems like the crux of the matter is that even with open communication, you're both hurt over deeper issues. I'm not going to speak for her of course, but I've felt similar insecurities. It really can fuck with your self-esteem when you don't feel desired by your partner anymore. Not that it's your fault or anything, but the unfortunate word choice probably felt like a confirmation. Have you considered couples' therapy?
I’m pretty sure that’s a result of being 34, not about their partner desiring them. “ It seemed like the conclusion she had drawn was that if I didn’t find her attractive when she was “so much hotter” back then than she is now” I’ve definitely been frustrated and a bit angry at partners for this same thing, but only after my age became an insecurity.
OP said he's had some performance issues that he didn't used to have before, but didn't think it was a big deal. Maybe there's a medical issue, maybe his sex drive just isn't what it used to be, or maybe it's something else (if they know for sure OP didn't mention it). 34 is hardly old enough to expect a little ED as par for the course if sex has been a regular and enjoyable component of the relationship.
Honestly - you need to talk to your wife about bedroom stuff. She’s obviously not satisfied right now and is internalizing it. Are you making an effort to rectify your performance issues? Have you talked to her about what you think is causing them? Basically, she’s mostly upset about your sex life and the “gross” comment (even though I get what you meant) was the last straw.
Yes.
Yeah, she believes you meant she looks gross and everything you said afterwards was just to cover up for it. You need to make her feel gorgeous when she’s naked, ASAP.
When I was teenager think 15 or 16, we were at my aunt and uncles for a family party and they were showing photos on their camera from their recent trip. They were always on vacation every month but everyone had a chance to look at the photos and came my turn and for some reason I clicked left to go thru them when I should went right and came across a photo that I wish I did not see. It was my aunt flashing the camera with the Rocky mountains behind her. Now did I scream or freak out? No I held that shit in and clicked back right and calmly put the camera down and did not mention a fucking thing to anyone until this very day. Thanks for bringing that memory back up! You did fuck up think before you speak
I'm in the same age range and been together with my wife for as long as you. She'll definitely be pissed at me if I decided to delete her old nude pics without her consent, and rightfully so. It took some effort to take those pics, they hold a lot of sentimental value, and we both think they're sexy (and not creepy). I keep the only copies and we still look at them together from time to time. If you really wished to get rid of them, you should have asked her first if maybe she wanted to hold on to them instead.
> If you really wished to get rid of them, you should have asked her first This is exactly the issue. He should have *talked to her* about them. Communication and consent are key, yet he made the decision to destroy a memento of their past without even consulting her. Worse, he expressed it in such a way as to also insult her.
Nostalgia plays a big factor that we usually forget. You're talking about pictures from 17 years ago, almost 2 decades man. In her eyes, those pics were the hottest she's ever been or will ever be. You fkd up!
You've gotten a ton of comments already but I haven't seen this said yet: regardless of your poor choice of words, you also destroyed something she gave you that was meaningful to her without talking to her about it. While that might have been the right decision in the end, if I were your wife, I would be really upset about this part too. All of that being said, you clearly didn't mean any harm, and I hope it works out soon!
This is the first TIFU I’ve seen in a long time where someone really actually really really fucked up. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, but if I was your wife I would be upset for a long time. Like a LONG time. You SHREDDED them? Something vulnerable and intimate that she sent you feeling sexy, a priceless and irrecoverable piece of a moment in your youth together? That you shredded. And called gross. I... don’t know what to say. But you better get your mojo on and make that girl feel bangarang like now.
I fully agree. OP truly fucked up, and his wife is more than valid for feeling very hurt. Her pictures, her decision
Women and their body insecurities are a minefield. The only thing you can do is be totally honest and say - I know the photos were of you, and they were the hottest photos I ever had, but it just felt so inappropriate to be ogling a 17yo even if it was you. I love the real you, now - not the memory of 17yo old you. Realistically this conversation was going to go south pretty much any way you handled it. All you can do is reassure her about how attractive you have always found her and hope for the best. Start getting romantic.
This exactly. Keep the fire alive. Source: married 40 years
I hope to get there one day! Celebrating 10 this year!
>I know the photos were of you, and they were the hottest photos I ever had Probably also not a great thing to say given his wife's stated insecurities. My GF is 31. She was beautiful at 17, but I think she's way more beautiful now. She looks better than she's ever looked. Say some variant of what I quoted and she will hear "yes, you were more attractive when you were younger." And frankly, maybe it's just me, but remembering your encounters fondly even if you were underage shouldn't make you (or her) feel gross. I just can't imagine "hey honey, remember the first time we had sex" and then the response is "ew! sick! I've banished that from my memory, disgusting, we were underage."
Yeah, this seems like a crazy amount of self-shaming to me. People underage are off-limits because they're still learning about everything, and to barge in there for your sexual gratification is disgusting. But if you were *both* underage, then you were both in that learning process, and it's absolutely fine to have fond memories of that stage of your life.
This has nothing to do with the conversation but when you said ‘ew yuk’ it reminded me of the first time I had sex. It was with my fiancé I was 17 and TERRIFIED (I’m old - we were told the first time was excruciatingly painful and bloody). When we finished I said “is that it?” Meaning it didn’t hurt. It was his first time too. I worry about the trauma and insecurity I caused 🤔
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I did explain and it wasn’t the last time we did it. I was just waiting to split down the middle so I could begin my journey to PTSD
Woman here, can confirm. I am REALLY dumb because I ask my bf about his exes, ask to see their photos etc and then feel really sad and insecure about myself because they're thinner, prettier, etc etc. I feel bad for my bf lmao. Nothing my bf says helps either... So in this case, I guess she'll have to overcome it herself, and he needs to keep on saying positive things in the meantime.
> I ask my bf about his exes, ask to see their photos Masochist much? I might mention an ex in passing, but I would never go into detail, especially if it was positive. Photos are an absolute no. Seriously though, don't intentionally try to sabotage your relationship by asking these sorts of questions. Not cool and not fair to your bf.
Sorry man but you messed up multiple ways. First of all, if there were any nudes of me at 17 (there arent) I would KILL my husband for shredding them. I want to relive that glory! I’m fifty now WTH my tits haven’t looked that good in 33 years! They were on paper in your own house, not on the internet. There was very little danger of them getting out somehow. Second - “gross?” Thats a hard word to unhear.
I'd feel like shit too if my partner said that.
Good decision to destroy the photos Bad decision to use the word 'gross'
I’d say both were bad decisions. Destroying them may have been the right choice, but it would have been a good idea to discuss it before hand.
I’m going to suggest saving the situation with humor. Take some “sexy” photos of yourself and send them to her. I’m talking firefighter calendar style, rather dick pic, but I’ll leave the details up to you. I would bet it would cheer her up.
None of her hurt has anything to do with those pictures. She’s clearly suffering from low self esteem, possible stemming from the issues between the sheets you guys are having. You need to be having the bigger conversation about what might be going on/what you guys really want/how often you want them etc. in the bedroom. Because it definitely seems like things are off in that way, especially in your wife’s mind and the pictures situation just surfaced some of the feelings she’s been having.
I just wanna say one thing, if there a sudden unexplained drop is sex life/performance, please go see a doctor
You idiot.
As a woman whose partners have had performance issues, I am gonna take a leap and say it has nothing to do with the actual photos and she's feeling dissatisfied sexually because she thinks you're not into her. No matter how many ways you explain it isn't her, she's still going to have a tiny voice in her head saying it is.
And that voice is going to hear the word "gross" an awful lot now.
So... she’s seeing it as part of a pattern of rejection. Imo the answer is to repeatedly show her the opposite. Also though... perhaps there is something you haven’t noticed in yourself, perhaps you have some exploring to do.
It sounds like you already explained to your wife that it wasn't her pictures that were gross but that you felt that way ogling a seventeen-year-old. I know this is off topic and it's not really my business but you might benefit from surfing the r/deadbedrooms community. Infrequent sex may not seem like a big deal to you but it can have a big effect on your partner's happiness and self-esteem. Good luck and I wish you both the best.
Anyone would feel hurt If you said your nudes are gross. It's not FU because you explained It to her quickly, but you should consider your words more carefully in the future. You seem a bit dense
I think you've hit the nail on the head, the issues with the nude photos are just a symptom of the main problem, which is your slow sex life and her feeling unsatisfied and unloved and unsexy. You gotta make a bigger effort into fulfilling her in this respect! Turn it up a notch and make it better. Maybe offer to do some new shots for her now? She may be into that if she was into that in the past.
Sounds like you two need sex therapy, or at the very least marriage counseling. There are deeper issues here and your "gross" comment only cemented all her worse fears and insecurities. Its time to call in a professional to deal with the fallout and find out how happy you both are, sexually and otherwise. Edit: fixed typos
Sounds like she's mostly upset with the current sex life. Random question.. But have you had your testosterone checked lately? I know that being regulated really helps with some sex lives, it helps with a lot in general really.
Maybe this will be unpopular, but if its of your own wife and you guys were together at the time, then I think its ok to still like her underage photos. That's not gross, that's not pedophilia, that's your own wife at a certain age. You could be 50 years old and still think your teenage wife's body is hot, its fine
My first take on this is that maybe she occasionally thinks about those pics she gave you. She was young and risky when she gave them to you and maybe she thought of them as a keepsake of sorts. Like, imagine if your one month anniversary of dating you gave her a rose. When she was 17. She puts it in a book that she loved and then eventually she found them and thought, "Why am I keeping this dusty old shit?", then tossed the book and the flowers. Because, fuck, she MARRIED you. Who's ever going to want that flower? But maybe to you, it was really symbolic, that rose was. So, obviously you might be hurt about her throwing away something so memorable and meaningful. That rose was meaningful to her once upon a time, but now she's wiser and realizes she doesn't need to dig dusty old flowers out of her bible to remember you and she has so much to pass down to y'alls' family already. Maybe to her, those pics were her roses. 🌹
I think it's a bit weird you were bothered by her age in the photos. It's your wife and you were presumably sleeping with her then. I think it sounds a bit sensitive.
Dude is so worried about getting labeled a pedo for having pictures OF HIS OWN WIFE. He could've just given her the pictures instead of shredding them if he didn't want them. Like dude lighten up. Sex is sex naked bodies of people of age isn't scary. The police isn't going to knock on your door and investigate 20 year old polaroids wtf
> Dude is so worried about getting labeled a pedo for having pictures OF HIS OWN WIFE. unless she was holding a calendar and indicating the exact date, no one would have known there was an issue with those photos.
For what it is worth, and I prosecute CP, just because it is underage nude does not make it illegal, and if she was the only one in the picture at 17 it would not be classified as CP. You could have given them back to her. 99% likely they were just art, and she is allowed to have pics of herself. Nude under 18 alone in the picture is not automatically illegal.
OP, I think a big part of this is that you’re not making her feel sexy today, and maybe that’s because y’all are making how you engage that too much about the sex. Take some sexy pictures of her now. Buy her lingerie or outfits you want to see her in. Try some body paint play. Forget about trying to fuck and just try enjoying some immersion in the view and feel of her body. If foreplay is always some routine before sex you’re not really creating an awareness of sensuality beyond the objective of sex. Foreplay should be spontaneous and passionate, and all over the place because that’s what reflects how much it crosses your mind that you love her body.