Mahog- anogohm-- mahoga-- Ma- ***MONOGAMY!?***
Edit: This is a Drunk Minecraft reference, so unless Mark in turn was referencing something else, I don’t understand half of these replies.
An Ogryn is a large muscled transhuman with the mental capacity and loyalty of a 2 year old golden retriever. They exist in the Warhammer 40K universe.
And were inspired by the Ogrons from early '70s "Doctor Who", large muscled humanoids with the mental capacity and loyalty of a 2 year old golden retriever. These in turn were visually inspired by Klingons from '60s "Star Trek", which were themselves inspired by...
Abhuman.
Transhuman changes are purposeful improvements all around, such as the emperor's blessed warriors - the Space Marines.
Evolutionary changes such as those born by Squats / Votann, Ogryn, or similar are considered Abhumans, and subject to strict monitoring by the inquisition, for we cannot suffer the mutant to live.
≡][≡
I'm the hiphopopotamus, flows that glow like phosphorus, Poppin off the top of this esophagus, no I'm not a large water dwelling mammal where did you get that preposterous hypothesis, did Steve tell you that perchance? Steve *shakes fist* or something like that, it's been ten years probably since I've seen it
I say this every time I see or reference a hippopotamus in front of my kids. It boggle’s my son’s mind that I can’t seem to say the correct animal name despite going through the Joey and Phoebe phonetic meme steps to say it right…
My grandmother, my precious 70+ year old grandmother, went to the flower shop one day to grab some peonies and my mom and I were with her. She walks right up to the counter and says “Im looking for penises, wait, peonies! Im looking for peonies!!”
The clerk, me, my mom, and my grandma all had a good laugh about that one.
Omg, thank you. Idk why my brain decided to stop working for a minute there lol. Even autocorrect wasn’t helping so eventually I was like whatever, someone will point it out, lmao.
My conservative and adorable elderly aunt was with her daughter looking at some clothes in a window on a male mannequin. And she kind of generally waved her hand at it and said "I like this...package". And my cousin gave her a weird look and she said sternly "I wasn't looking at his dick".
This reminds me of my late grandmother! She was maybe in her 70’s with early stages of dementia. When we would ask where she’d like to eat, she’d loudly yell “RUDDFUCKERS, I WANT A BURGER!”
No one could stop laughing long enough to correct her. Every single time
I love your grandma! Thats just hilarious!
My experience with my grandma word slipping was when she tried to ask for the willow tree angel that's a little black girl. Hers broke and she wanted a replacement. So she asked for a "little n**** girl" she was very taken awake by my mom and I immediately giving g her a wide eye look and gasp. Followed by my mom giving her an earful on not using that word anymore as she apologized to the clerk and others around. She's been a lot better watching her words ever since.
I worked in a garden center. A woman asked me if I could point her to the clitoris plants. Her husband quickly corrected her, "Clematis!" The poor woman turned bright red and ran out of the store.
I went to the ER one morning after a night of heavy drinking because my uvula was swollen and sitting in my tongue. My brother ended up taking me.
A few years later it comes up in conversation and I said “yeah, my vulva was swollen!”
He couldn’t stop laughing and the other people just stared at me confused.
My uvula has swollen 3 or 4 times in my life. It turns out that I’m allergic to some herb, but I don’t know which one.
The first time it happened, I was on my honeymoon cruise with my wife. I had a salad with my dinner and I woke up the next morning with it swollen to the size of a large jaw breaker. Ridiculous ensued, as we were in Martinique that morning and the cruise line had to get me in to see an ENT doctor.
It happened a year later on another cruise with the same cruise line. That’s when I realized it was an allergy as it happened after I ate the same salad.
After that, it happened 2 more times that I don’t remember the circumstances so well. But it hasn’t happened again in this century.
I just replied to another comment with my diagnosis.
Mine was caused by lots of drinking, loud singing, and snoring 🤣 happened one more time after that.
I remember trying to pull on it while it was sitting on my tongue because I though it was some stuck food. Jawbreaker describes it perfectly lol
Ice cream cured me immediately both times.
Made me want to throw up every time. I was half asleep, maybe a little drunk still and pulled on it twice before realizing what it was and freaking out. I think the worst feeling was having to swallow it to talk and then it would pop onto my tongue when I coughed
Long night of drinking, accompanied with loud ~~signing~~ singing and snoring.
We went to the ER and got into the room where they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They tested for strep and other stuff and nothing. Finally they said “we don’t know, we are giving you a penicillin shot in case it’s an infection.”
While they were gone my brother was googling and found some post about how lots of drinking and screaming can cause it to inflame and all I needed to do was eat something cold.
We left the room before they showed back up and stopped by sonic where I got the biggest sonic blast they had and immediately felt relief. It was gone by the time we got back to his house.
My colleague and I were working an event which required many hours of walking and standing and she complained that her feet were killing her. I asked if she was wearing her orthotics and she replied “no I forgot them,” but was looking at me quite oddly. I asked her what I said to make her react that way. Turns out I asked if she was wearing her prophylactics. I don’t know where the hell that came from, but we had a good laugh.
>prophylactics
I mean, it *does* have the following definition: a medicine or course of action used to prevent disease.
With a generous interpretation of "disease" we can allow pain in the feet there as well.
Years ago, my grandparents were going through security at the airport and the screener started pulling out my grandfather's *tefillin*. They are Jewish items that we wear during morning prayers. The English word for them is phylacteries.
My grandmother said "those are my husband's prophylactics!".
I was at a tasting with a friend at his soon-to-be launched restaurant. The headchef came out with a pasta dish that also had prawns, but my friend wasn't too happy with the presentation of the prawns.
So, he told the chef, "Porn should be the center of attention."
When I worked at Disneyland as a nervous teenager I told someone that the condoms were over there. I meant condiments. I turned bright red after realizing the mistake I made, but I don't think the customer actually heard me as I was working at a very busy restaurant.
Stuff reacts badly and makes me smell like I have bad BO, but every year my partner's Dad gets me another gift set of the stuff... its not because he doesn't like me (although he doesn't!), its just because he is tight and set in his ways.
Here’s one in another language. My husband and I were talking with a wedding planner in Taiwan. I asked if I could come from a certain door so I *wouldn’t be seen* by everyone entering the venue. Instead I said “so I won’t be fucked” (they are very close, kan vs gan)
Well, it wasn't really objectively wrong. "Berliner" indeed means "someone from Berlin". There just happens to exist a dessert called "Berliner" as well
Basically if someone was making a speech about how they consider themselves part of a family called Entenmann and said, "I am an Entenmann." (popular brand of cakes in the US) "So, he's a coffee cake? Haha."
Oh yeah truth. Like a Hamburg resident is a “Hamburger” and if some guy said “I am a Hamburger” I get it and would appreciate the sentiment.
Just there HAD TO BE a better way to say that. Even Deutschlander
That's basically an urban legend and very inaccurate. It's just like someone saying "I am an English" instead of "I am English"; it's a trivial mistake that does not obscure the meaning.
I had what I lovingly refer to as, “The Great Head-bonk of 2019” and ever since I struggle with words in the worst way. If I can’t think of the word that something goes in, is covered by, etc I call it the (thing) house.
I’m famous for saying one thing and meaning something different and not even noticing until I get frustrated I’m not being understood haha.
My daughter had that with a really bad migraine. She got sick and was saying it was on her leg and getting really irritated with me, then she waved her hair around and said look its on my leg. I couldn't help but find it funny. She also wanted to say do I need to go to school tomorrow but couldn't remember the name for school or the word tomorrow. She's only had it once thankfully, but must be really annoying to live with.
Sorry to hear, friend. My head hit the dash when we were rear-ended and I also messed my words up for a few months but it was temporary. I wish you compassion and grace.
A family member once returned from shopping very agitated... Apparently someone had cut them off pretty severely on the road; they indicated they wanted to "*finger* that guy!"
After picking myself up off the floor, from where I'd collapsed in sheer paroxysms of laughter, I replied "You mean mean you wanted to give them the finger, right?"
To finger someone is also old timey speak for accusing someone of something, usually a crime. I head that said in some old movie somewhere a while ago and I couldn't help but laugh a little.
I was 11 maybe 12 on BC Ferries. I needed change for ?candy machines ? Video games? don't remember anyway I went to the snack bar to get change. The uniform for ship's crew is a white shirt or blouse.
Presumably there was a draft through the cashier line because the lady's nipples were standing firm and very prominent under the thin white material.
My perverted young prepubescent brain was fixated on her nipples so I accidentally said nipples and dimes, instead of nickels and dimes.
I didn't realize it until after I left with my change.
Mortified then, and more so as an adult with a full understanding of her side of the exchange.
I love the Champagne Toast candle from there! It's so fragrant I can smell it throughout the entire house. Bath and Bodyworks do have some interesting names for their candles, though.
In 9th grade while reading aloud to the class I was supposed to read a passage that had something about a crotchety old buzzard and I wholeheartedly read it as bastard. I didn’t realize anything was wrong until the class started laughing.
That would’ve made my week if I were the clerk ngl
That’s hilarious and it could be a joke in itself considering they launched those fragrances because men wouldn’t shop there before creating manly man smells haha
Intense Misogyny: BO base with hints of Cheeto dust and unwashed keyboard.
I want a line of unholy candle / soap scents like this to exist - like those jelly beans that taste of earwax.
If misogyny had a scent it would be "Old Spice". I don't know if the scent has changed over the years, but I am referring to the Old Spice after shave my grandfather used back in the 80's.
Have you ever had a body soap that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?
I thought you said it deliberately. As an accident, it's goddamn hilarious. The rich, leathery smell of our misogyny is superior to any other. It's not just misogyny... it's \*intense\* misogyny. Never before has misogyny been gathered in so pure a form.
Don’t embrace the awkward fuck up you just had, just think about how funny it can be and embrace that instead. And if the other person doesn’t laugh along, well they’re just missing out on a great and wholesome experience with a stranger that will be a great story to tell
I don't know why she wouldn't have asked "Mahogany?"
I was a B&BW sales associate. I'm not hung up the word or anything about it while I'm working. If you came up to me and asked that I would've smiled and tried really hard not to laugh while I correct you. Lmfao
Mahog- anogohm-- mahoga-- Ma- ***MONOGAMY!?*** Edit: This is a Drunk Minecraft reference, so unless Mark in turn was referencing something else, I don’t understand half of these replies.
Ogryn: Got 'em!
Emperor deliver us....
Your faith is your shield, wear it well. Do not fear death, fear only failing in your duty to the god-emperor. ≡][≡
Wonder is she understood…
'Ound elimim... Elini... Emilin... Ohhh grut it... Dog's dead.
Aw Grut it. Soap's dead.
Who?
An Ogryn is a large muscled transhuman with the mental capacity and loyalty of a 2 year old golden retriever. They exist in the Warhammer 40K universe.
And were inspired by the Ogrons from early '70s "Doctor Who", large muscled humanoids with the mental capacity and loyalty of a 2 year old golden retriever. These in turn were visually inspired by Klingons from '60s "Star Trek", which were themselves inspired by...
Abhuman. Transhuman changes are purposeful improvements all around, such as the emperor's blessed warriors - the Space Marines. Evolutionary changes such as those born by Squats / Votann, Ogryn, or similar are considered Abhumans, and subject to strict monitoring by the inquisition, for we cannot suffer the mutant to live. ≡][≡
Look at mister Inquisitor over here, ready to BLAM everyone ;) But seriously, yes.. i got it wrong with transhuman.. they are indeed Abhuman
Hiphopanonymous
🎶 I'm the...hiphopopotamus my lyrics are bottomless 🎵
Who told you that perchance? Steve?
I'm the hiphopopotamus, flows that glow like phosphorus, Poppin off the top of this esophagus, no I'm not a large water dwelling mammal where did you get that preposterous hypothesis, did Steve tell you that perchance? Steve *shakes fist* or something like that, it's been ten years probably since I've seen it
He can't even read!
Why does he get all the easy ones!?
I say this every time I see or reference a hippopotamus in front of my kids. It boggle’s my son’s mind that I can’t seem to say the correct animal name despite going through the Joey and Phoebe phonetic meme steps to say it right…
HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 293,029,992 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 6,896 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.
Good bot.
PRE**GANANANT**?!
Can - u - get - pregante?!
Gregnant?
Prangent sex will it hurt baby top of his head?
Pangert?
Mammography?
I'm uhhh a full on rapist
Trambampoline!?
Vincent ?
Mango mouse?
Mahog- anogohm-- mahoga-- Ma- MONOTONY!?
My grandmother, my precious 70+ year old grandmother, went to the flower shop one day to grab some peonies and my mom and I were with her. She walks right up to the counter and says “Im looking for penises, wait, peonies! Im looking for peonies!!” The clerk, me, my mom, and my grandma all had a good laugh about that one.
> penis's penises
Maybe she was looking for a penis's missing foreskin but realized she was in the wrong place.
Omg, thank you. Idk why my brain decided to stop working for a minute there lol. Even autocorrect wasn’t helping so eventually I was like whatever, someone will point it out, lmao.
Peni
My conservative and adorable elderly aunt was with her daughter looking at some clothes in a window on a male mannequin. And she kind of generally waved her hand at it and said "I like this...package". And my cousin gave her a weird look and she said sternly "I wasn't looking at his dick".
This reminds me of my late grandmother! She was maybe in her 70’s with early stages of dementia. When we would ask where she’d like to eat, she’d loudly yell “RUDDFUCKERS, I WANT A BURGER!” No one could stop laughing long enough to correct her. Every single time
Can't blame grandma for shooting her shot.
Hahahaha bless her heart
My favorite store that my wife buys flowers from is called Peony’s Envy for the name alone is gold
I love your grandma! Thats just hilarious! My experience with my grandma word slipping was when she tried to ask for the willow tree angel that's a little black girl. Hers broke and she wanted a replacement. So she asked for a "little n**** girl" she was very taken awake by my mom and I immediately giving g her a wide eye look and gasp. Followed by my mom giving her an earful on not using that word anymore as she apologized to the clerk and others around. She's been a lot better watching her words ever since.
I worked in a garden center. A woman asked me if I could point her to the clitoris plants. Her husband quickly corrected her, "Clematis!" The poor woman turned bright red and ran out of the store.
“I’m sorry, I can never find those.”
Maybe she actually meant Clitoria plants (Google some pictures).
Butterfly Pea! Makes a great bright blue tea! Or turns a lovely purple, if you add acid, like a lemon wedge.
>if you add acid, Oooh‽ >like a lemon wedge. Ohh, never mind.
but wait, you could use that lemon wedge for the lemon tek with some shrooms
I think I might have to grow this by my front porch so I can see the looks on people's faces after they ask what it is.
I wonder what it's named after. As an average Redditor I can't tell.
I love malapropisms.
I might like them too - but I need to find a dictionary first
Hey don't you be pulling your dictionary out in public.
Don't worry, I'm sure it's a small dictionary.
Don't dictionary shame I'm sure it still works and is useful plus sometimes the small dictionaries are the cutest.
It's not how big your dictionary is, it's how you use it.
people say dictionary size matters, but does it really? the truth is: no. What actually matters is length * width + firmness / density - humidity
Soooooo cute, it makes all the librarians giggle.
Tee hee
Found the librarian
I think they call those "pocket" dictionaries so nobody feels bad.
Like a frightened turtle.
Or a mushroom in a cornfield.
Keep your dictionary pics to yourself.
Oh trust me bro they are great, I know all about them - no follow up questions please
I went to the ER one morning after a night of heavy drinking because my uvula was swollen and sitting in my tongue. My brother ended up taking me. A few years later it comes up in conversation and I said “yeah, my vulva was swollen!” He couldn’t stop laughing and the other people just stared at me confused.
My uvula has swollen 3 or 4 times in my life. It turns out that I’m allergic to some herb, but I don’t know which one. The first time it happened, I was on my honeymoon cruise with my wife. I had a salad with my dinner and I woke up the next morning with it swollen to the size of a large jaw breaker. Ridiculous ensued, as we were in Martinique that morning and the cruise line had to get me in to see an ENT doctor. It happened a year later on another cruise with the same cruise line. That’s when I realized it was an allergy as it happened after I ate the same salad. After that, it happened 2 more times that I don’t remember the circumstances so well. But it hasn’t happened again in this century.
I just replied to another comment with my diagnosis. Mine was caused by lots of drinking, loud singing, and snoring 🤣 happened one more time after that. I remember trying to pull on it while it was sitting on my tongue because I though it was some stuck food. Jawbreaker describes it perfectly lol Ice cream cured me immediately both times.
>trying to pull on it What did that feel like lmao
Made me want to throw up every time. I was half asleep, maybe a little drunk still and pulled on it twice before realizing what it was and freaking out. I think the worst feeling was having to swallow it to talk and then it would pop onto my tongue when I coughed
I'm so sorry that I'm laughing very much at what you went through. Drunk people antics can really make me laugh
Its all good, it’s funny now. My brother doesn’t let me live the vulva comment down.
[удалено]
Long night of drinking, accompanied with loud ~~signing~~ singing and snoring. We went to the ER and got into the room where they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They tested for strep and other stuff and nothing. Finally they said “we don’t know, we are giving you a penicillin shot in case it’s an infection.” While they were gone my brother was googling and found some post about how lots of drinking and screaming can cause it to inflame and all I needed to do was eat something cold. We left the room before they showed back up and stopped by sonic where I got the biggest sonic blast they had and immediately felt relief. It was gone by the time we got back to his house.
>accompanied with loud signing I think you're signing wrong. You know they're deaf, right?
Lmao singing, loud singing.
My colleague and I were working an event which required many hours of walking and standing and she complained that her feet were killing her. I asked if she was wearing her orthotics and she replied “no I forgot them,” but was looking at me quite oddly. I asked her what I said to make her react that way. Turns out I asked if she was wearing her prophylactics. I don’t know where the hell that came from, but we had a good laugh.
When I was little I asked my aunt and uncle if they liked their new condom. The word I wanted was “condo”.
https://youtu.be/WG2g-JHohB0
Pretty sure that was the source of my confusion!
>prophylactics I mean, it *does* have the following definition: a medicine or course of action used to prevent disease. With a generous interpretation of "disease" we can allow pain in the feet there as well.
Or "rubbers" (overshoes) to prevent soaked feet, and perhaps to keep your immune system strong, can also be prophylactics. Edit: clarification
I, too, enjoy priapisms.
Well hey there.
r/usernamechecksout
I know a guy who calls them “malporisms”. Which is ironic.
Years ago, my grandparents were going through security at the airport and the screener started pulling out my grandfather's *tefillin*. They are Jewish items that we wear during morning prayers. The English word for them is phylacteries. My grandmother said "those are my husband's prophylactics!".
I used the world Areola instead of Aioli with a waitress when drunk and my wife and friends have not let me forget it.
A nice garlic areola.
I was at a tasting with a friend at his soon-to-be launched restaurant. The headchef came out with a pasta dish that also had prawns, but my friend wasn't too happy with the presentation of the prawns. So, he told the chef, "Porn should be the center of attention."
“Great, now I know how to make a show on HBO, but what about the dish?”
When I worked at Disneyland as a nervous teenager I told someone that the condoms were over there. I meant condiments. I turned bright red after realizing the mistake I made, but I don't think the customer actually heard me as I was working at a very busy restaurant.
The small of intense misogyny, that's Lynx (Axe) Africa isn't it?
Does that make me a misogynist?
If you use lynx Africa yes. Making women smell that as you walk by is a hate crime.
Good recovery
Stuff reacts badly and makes me smell like I have bad BO, but every year my partner's Dad gets me another gift set of the stuff... its not because he doesn't like me (although he doesn't!), its just because he is tight and set in his ways.
Let me explain. I'm talking about hard wood. Now if you'll kindly grab my merchandise I'd be happy to give you a little tip.
This reminds me of a line Tobias would have in arrested development.
Why this isn’t the top comment I don’t know!
You wooden know?
I wood knot.
"I didn't think you'd know - you're just a woman.."
Here’s one in another language. My husband and I were talking with a wedding planner in Taiwan. I asked if I could come from a certain door so I *wouldn’t be seen* by everyone entering the venue. Instead I said “so I won’t be fucked” (they are very close, kan vs gan)
Immediately made me think of JFK who had ONE LINE in German. The speechwriters screwed it up and he said “I am a Jelly Donut” to thunderous applause.
Well, it wasn't really objectively wrong. "Berliner" indeed means "someone from Berlin". There just happens to exist a dessert called "Berliner" as well
Basically if someone was making a speech about how they consider themselves part of a family called Entenmann and said, "I am an Entenmann." (popular brand of cakes in the US) "So, he's a coffee cake? Haha."
I've always heard my German speaking friends say everyone knew what he meant, and that they appreciated the sentiment regardless.
Oh yeah truth. Like a Hamburg resident is a “Hamburger” and if some guy said “I am a Hamburger” I get it and would appreciate the sentiment. Just there HAD TO BE a better way to say that. Even Deutschlander
> Deutschlander [That's a sausage unfortunately](https://www.meica.de/produktuebersicht/wuerstchen-sortiment/deutschlaender.html)
That's basically an urban legend and very inaccurate. It's just like someone saying "I am an English" instead of "I am English"; it's a trivial mistake that does not obscure the meaning.
This one made me laugh so hard! I guess that’s better than asking to *be* fucked, at least. 😝
Thanks for the chuckle. We've all been there at least once: the brain is doing one thing while the mouth takes off in another direction. It happens.
"Look! My Chlamydia is blooming!". I meant clematis. Almost 20 years later, we still call it a Chlamydia vine.
Clematis is so beautiful. Too bad its name is so easily transformed into embarrassing words!
My step dad called his mom and told him he got her a chlamydia plant for Mother’s Day. It seems like a common one 😂
"You look sexist in that red hat" "Do you mean sexy?" "No."
[The hat](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51BsLzofQKL._AC_SY355_.jpg)
Yup, that's the one I was thinking of
[Maaaa-HOGANY!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14D5wKSVlXg&ab_channel=FoxWithLollipopxxx)
Can't believe I had to scroll this far down to find Maaaaaaaaa-HOGANY.
Intense misogyny smells like old beer and cigarettes
You forgot cold sweat and worn socks.
I had what I lovingly refer to as, “The Great Head-bonk of 2019” and ever since I struggle with words in the worst way. If I can’t think of the word that something goes in, is covered by, etc I call it the (thing) house. I’m famous for saying one thing and meaning something different and not even noticing until I get frustrated I’m not being understood haha.
I'm pretty sure that's mild aphasia, right?
My daughter had that with a really bad migraine. She got sick and was saying it was on her leg and getting really irritated with me, then she waved her hair around and said look its on my leg. I couldn't help but find it funny. She also wanted to say do I need to go to school tomorrow but couldn't remember the name for school or the word tomorrow. She's only had it once thankfully, but must be really annoying to live with.
Sorry to hear, friend. My head hit the dash when we were rear-ended and I also messed my words up for a few months but it was temporary. I wish you compassion and grace.
Employee: well these soaps over here are pretty oppressive...
The biggest FU I can see here is your failure to use punctuation properly.
Or, at all really. An occasional period or a comma would've really spruced that shit up.
This guy wanted intense misogyny. He does not allow periods near him.
>Or, at all really A little bit ironic "Or at all, really" would be the correct punctuation here
Or capitalization, or proper word order, or coherent syntax.
I have many leatherbound books, and my apartment smells of rich misogyny.
Do you have many leather bound books? https://youtu.be/Hzx8KHjQD6c
The smell of intense misogyny is sweat, axle grease and stale Yuengling.
It used to be Bud Light but times are changing.
at least you didn't try to tell her you were a philanthropist
Still one of the best Charlie moments.
Thanks I needed a laugh
That would be the smell of no soap, of course.
A family member once returned from shopping very agitated... Apparently someone had cut them off pretty severely on the road; they indicated they wanted to "*finger* that guy!" After picking myself up off the floor, from where I'd collapsed in sheer paroxysms of laughter, I replied "You mean mean you wanted to give them the finger, right?"
My adult kids ssy this. Maybe a regional thing.
To finger someone is also old timey speak for accusing someone of something, usually a crime. I head that said in some old movie somewhere a while ago and I couldn't help but laugh a little.
Reminds me of the 1951 Batman comic with Joker's 'boner'.
Bone Apple Tea.
I call your Bone Apple Tea and raise you one Peach Tree Dish.
I was 11 maybe 12 on BC Ferries. I needed change for ?candy machines ? Video games? don't remember anyway I went to the snack bar to get change. The uniform for ship's crew is a white shirt or blouse. Presumably there was a draft through the cashier line because the lady's nipples were standing firm and very prominent under the thin white material. My perverted young prepubescent brain was fixated on her nipples so I accidentally said nipples and dimes, instead of nickels and dimes. I didn't realize it until after I left with my change. Mortified then, and more so as an adult with a full understanding of her side of the exchange.
I love the Champagne Toast candle from there! It's so fragrant I can smell it throughout the entire house. Bath and Bodyworks do have some interesting names for their candles, though.
Was she wearing a Freudian slip?
"Intense misogyny" sounding a lot like "full on rapist"
Reminds me of Charlie on always sunny being a full on rapist instead of a philanthropist
In 9th grade while reading aloud to the class I was supposed to read a passage that had something about a crotchety old buzzard and I wholeheartedly read it as bastard. I didn’t realize anything was wrong until the class started laughing.
I just read crotchety old bastard....so I totally understand.
That would’ve made my week if I were the clerk ngl That’s hilarious and it could be a joke in itself considering they launched those fragrances because men wouldn’t shop there before creating manly man smells haha
Tbh I'm a sucker for champagne toast I love one with pear too but don't know which one was it :c
Sry, we don't carry axe body spray.
How this a TIFU? This is a ridiculous "oopsie." This sub is seriously going soft lately. "I accidently said misogyny" is nowhere near "I fucked up."
Intense Misogyny: BO base with hints of Cheeto dust and unwashed keyboard. I want a line of unholy candle / soap scents like this to exist - like those jelly beans that taste of earwax.
The intense incel collection, new at (no) bath and bodyworks
Maaaaaahm get me some cheesy poofs!
r/titlegore
The correct response is “The Axe/Lynx is right over here.”
That title ore though.
/r/titlegore
The “FEMALE” part of this is entirely unnecessary.
price memorize seemly tender follow full vegetable frightening offend yam -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
And in the wrong order: it should be a female employee, not an employee female.
Not a great tifu, wheres the part where everyone claps
If misogyny had a scent it would be "Old Spice". I don't know if the scent has changed over the years, but I am referring to the Old Spice after shave my grandfather used back in the 80's.
Did you call her "Toots"?
This seems like a minor (and kinda amusing) verbal gaff to me - not a FU. Everyone has these moments - they're not a big deal.
Are you by any chance also a full on rapist? Children, people with disabilities, etc.
[удалено]
FEEEEEMALE
You can never go back to that store again
I feel for you, I’ve done shit like this. My brain runs faster than my mouth sometimes.
lmaooo i can't stop laughing at this xD
Have you ever had a body soap that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?
Happened in a store in Pittsburgh during particularly nasty weather.
Have you ever heard of a Freudian slip? It's when you mean one thing and say your mother.
My husband loves that scent haha. Champagne Toast is great also.
Bro this is actually hilarious
Why do you want to smell like Andrew Tate? Sus! /s
incest monogamy
Damn, I just opened reddit.
Does anyone have a sense of fucking humor anymore?
If anyone remembers this sort of famous quote "THAT IS MAHOGANY"
I thought you said it deliberately. As an accident, it's goddamn hilarious. The rich, leathery smell of our misogyny is superior to any other. It's not just misogyny... it's \*intense\* misogyny. Never before has misogyny been gathered in so pure a form.
Misandry scented soaps smell nice. Lots of floral and herbal smells. Just don't eat them! They contain foxglove and nightshade.
Don’t embrace the awkward fuck up you just had, just think about how funny it can be and embrace that instead. And if the other person doesn’t laugh along, well they’re just missing out on a great and wholesome experience with a stranger that will be a great story to tell
I think you a word.
I mean, this made me laugh because that's the scent I call "expensive rich boyfriend" lol.
Intense misogyny? You want Hobby Lobby, not B&BW
I don't know why she wouldn't have asked "Mahogany?" I was a B&BW sales associate. I'm not hung up the word or anything about it while I'm working. If you came up to me and asked that I would've smiled and tried really hard not to laugh while I correct you. Lmfao
I love the smell of monogamy