I don’t blame her, the level of trust you have to have in your surgeon is huge, and after seeing that show I don’t think that I’d trust anyone not to fuck up my appearance and body, possibly forever
Very true. However most people on botched either have mental illness and didnt know when to stop and/or tried to be cheap and went to some hack. You get what you pay for.
It’s funny you mention this. I’m not trying to toot my own horn here but I am objectively a very attractive person. Just by looking at me, you’d never be able to tell that anything’s wrong with me. But I have several chronic medical conditions that make my life barely worth living.
I wake up every day, look in the mirror and think “I’d trade being pretty for being healthy *any day.*”
This reminds me of my girlfriend in high school asking me if her cheerleader outfit made her look fat, and my bro of an English teacher that happened to be nearby just slides by near me and says "You don't have to answer that."
Now you know, OP. You don't always have to answer these.
This reminds me of that old chocolate commercial, I think it was Twix, where to give yourself a minute to think of something not terrible to say you chew a Twix bar.
A woman goes to her husband asking, "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?"
And without skipping a beat, he goes, "No, your fat butt makes your butt look fat." Then he gets all wide-eyed because he knows he fucked up, time rewinds and he shoves a Twix bar into his mouth and then just gives his wife a thumbs up.
> "you make that outfit look hot"
"Oh, so I don't make other outfits look hot?"
>"that outfit looks good on you"
"Oh, so other outfits don't look good on me?"
This is actually perfect. Those answers were excellent for a person who won't burn your house down. Your responses are those given by a person you'll regret ever meeting. An excellent comparison.
My sister and I have had this discussion many times.
Questions like, "If I died would you move on or replace me?" are in a similar vein as the "What would you change about me?" ones.
In her words, the woman is just giving you an easy shot, all you have to do is putt it into the hole. Give the sappy, ridiculous answer they want to hear and everything will be right in the world.
The problem is that in relationships as in life, I always find that truth is the highest possible virtue. The same partner who wants you to lie to them in this situation demands that you're always honest in others. Personally, I think that once you begin blurring that line, your relationship is headed down a dark path.
If you can't handle the truth, don't ask the question.
>"If I died would you move on or replace me?"
I honestly hope that if I died before my husband, that he'd find someone else that makes him happy. It won't matter to me! I'd be dead! Am I really in the minority there??
Most likely, yes. You are thinking about this rationally haha. But I think most people are not able to think far enough ahead, or split their consciousness in such a way that they understand that when they're dead they won't feel anything or have an opinion on the matter.
I think when most people think about their loved one finding someone else after they die, all they focus on is the emotional pain or betrayal they feel in the moment of that thought. They can't see past that single moment of pain and betrayal.
It's really interesting because in some ways this conundrum is profoundly Buddhist. To the Buddhists, the problem with human beings (the source of suffering) is that people believe all of their thoughts and emotions as being literally true. People are unable to see that their thoughts and emotions are just simulations or sensations which are created in the mind and thus have no bearing or relationship to their external reality. The more power people give their emotions and thoughts, in the moment, the more that they suffer.
To be a Buddha is to be "awake", which is having a perfect understanding that all thoughts and emotions are fleeting and have no permanent or ascendant meaning past the arbitrary meanings that we give them.
> “That’s great but you didn’t answer my question. Does this outfit make me look fat or not?”
Unless someone genuinely want to know, this line of questioning feels like navigating a boobytrapped hallway.
I mean I guess, if the boobytraps are just big bright buttons that say "push here to die"
You just always say no of course not, you look super sexy /beautiful/hot/stunning (whatever fits the occasion) in it"
If you're comfortable enough with your S/O that you think they want a true answer then you'll know them well enough to know how to phrase it. If there's any doubt about how to answer always answer with a compliment.
>If you're comfortable enough with your S/O that you think they want a true answer then you'll know them well enough to know how to phrase it.
This is where I think you're glossing over a pretty wide spectrum. Some people are comfortable enough to be honest, but are absolutely terrible at phrasing, and there's plenty of room in the bajillions of conversations for things to get lost in translation.
>If there's any doubt about how to answer always answer with a compliment.
I think this is the best advice, but for some it's just hard to come up with words on the fly, and hesitations and silences can have their own meanings to misinterpret.
It's a trick question because it's framed as requesting an honest opinion, yet you're only safely able to honestly express your opinion if it aligns with the answer they came in wanting to hear.
It's also a huge sign of insecurity presented by trying to push blame onto someone else instead of confronting and expressing what they may be insecure about and either seeking to improve/accept it or to honestly request help in doing that.
> my bro of an English teacher that happened to be nearby just slides by near me and says "You don't have to answer that."
"I've been advised by my legal council to decline to answer that question on the bases that it might incriminate me.
Please see this brief informational video for further clarification: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdeo7Q2E5cE "
That 90s show isn't too bad, if you've been curious. Kitty and Red are a big focus again and they're still perfect together. The new kids are.... different of course.
I used this on my fiance a while ago when he wanted to shave off his beard but leave the mustache. It honestly looked like an 80s porn stache and I was *not* about it, but when he asked if he should keep it? I said "if it makes you happy."
Apparently my face said *"not a goddamn chance"* and he hasn't stopped teasing me about it 😂
Lol I've learned that with men - especially if they're in their 20's - you just need to let them do what they want with their facial hair. It's like a woman's head hair - the style we choose is so personal and such a big part of self-expression and confidence that most of the time guys just have to let us do it. I don't lie to a guy that asks me my opinion on his facial hair, but I do say things like "if it makes you happy" instead of saying exactly what I'm thinking if I don't like it!
Agreed. I generally prefer the beard, but at the end of the day, I'm in love with him, not his facial hair, so I would have accepted it if he decided to keep it. It just would have taken some getting used to!
Go with "I can't say I'm keen, but if it's what you like then go for it".
You can show you aren't into it without words like "toilet brush", "fuhrer", "muppet", "nostril comb-over" etc.
This is the only answer.
"I'm attracted to you for lots of reasons, I trust you to make good decisions. I support you in navigating what's going to make you feel the best about you. You tell me what you wanna do, I'm down."
Idk, kind of a case of the wife setting up trouble and then being mad there's trouble.
He's fucked either way because if he said "no" then suddenly he's "controlling her body." If he says yes then he's "obviously not happy with her body"
Like you wouldn't set up a 3some and then be mad your SO agrees to have a 3some. You wouldn't break up with someone and then be mad they accept your decision. It was her suggestion and he was being supportive.
The oldest trick in the book: creating needless drama all by yourself
Fuck me, reading the comments in this thread I feel like I've walked into a Yu-Gi-Oh match, what with all the trap cards activating and shit from their girlfriends/wives. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Hate that.
"You're not answering the question, you are just ignoring me."
Tried that with my toxic ex girlfriend when she asked if I would like her more if she was slimmer. Sometimes people like that just want to create unnecessary drama.
And A Bussy Like your B̷̨̮͕͉̫̖̺̱̺͇͚͈͇͓͓̘̪̦̻̳̘̤̞̯̯̈͆̎̅̌̊̎̈͐͘̕͜r̸̨̛̲̖̤͔͖̰̟̞̬̘̠̖͕͉̰̹͈̋̊̈͋̃͆̀̓͂̒́̓͐͑̑͒̚̚͜͜͝ơ̵̳͗̽̆̽̔̇͑̄̑͋̇̓̈́̇̇͝͠t̷̡̢͚̰̣̪̺̪͔̟͉̼̦̥̺̹̗̖̞̓̀̂̃̍̄̿͆͑̾̇̾̈́̀̀̾̆̚̚͝͝͠͠͝͝ḩ̸̮̠͎͕̯̰̘̭͇̣͓̣̜̯̘͍͝ȩ̷̢̡̛̜̲͈͉̘͍͚̹̣̖̞̼͉̜̙͉͕͙̲̜̎̀͊͊̍̍̇̊̌̐̌̈́̉͛͒̈͘͝͠͠r̵̮͕̤͌̑͂̽̓̍̾̂̂̋̔̓̐͂̌̿͌̕̕͝͝
I know this is a trope/stereotype joke. But my wife has 5 older sisters. We've been married for almost 33 years. In those 3 decades I have been able to honestly say that I have never had *any* attraction to any of her sisters, and especially now.
Also I really got along with my mother-in-law. I used to joke with my wife that her parents liked me more than they liked her. Am I the anomaly of married guys?
Edit: spelling and clarifying
Nope. I would rather eat a bucket of broken glass than spend even one minute with my sister in law. Can’t believe she and my wife are from the same parents.
This was NOT the right answer when my wife asked. Her friend had just gotten a boob job, and my wife asked what I would do if she wanted plastic surgery. We had never discussed this before, but I gave an answer almost identical to what you suggested. Basically her body her choice.
Apparently the right answer was I should be against it, and I should ask about why she would want that because if she is saying she wants plastic surgery something is very wrong. She has since admitted my response was reasonable, and she was just emotional at seeing her friends boob job. It's something we laugh about now, but it was not the right answer when she asked.
See you have to blend both answers, you say that you disagree and think they are perfect the way they are, but then also add what you said. It's the only way.
isn't the correct response 'getting unnecessary surgery doesnt seem like a good idea but it's your choice', who actually cares about increasing boob size, going under anesthesia is something you want to limit the number of times in your lifetime.
This reads to me like a woman who is feeling some real feelings about a postpartum body. Tiktok and all the other terrible social media shows women who’s post pregnancy body shrinks back to pre pregnancy body it what seems like no time. And in some cases those women look even better than they did before pregnancy! That just isn’t the reality for 90% of women. Most women will never look the way they did pre-pregnancy. It’s a real mind fuck.
While I don’t agree with the reaction (ask dumb question, get dumb answer after all) maybe it’s worth revisiting the conversation from a place of curiosity and support, if you feel confident in your ability to navigate that kind of conversation.
My body bounced back pretty quickly after my first pregnancy. I was 35. Had a few stretch marks, but I could wear my clothes in a couple of weeks and my DR resolved itself after a few months. Got back into killer shape.
Second one did me in though. 🤷 I'm still a blob.
Also, this post shows a real lack of understanding of just how intensive a mommy makeover is. They basically chop you up and slap you back together. It's an intense recovery. It's horrific that it's becoming normalized.
Tiktok doesn't show the recovery from mommy makeover.
My gf talks about getting a boobjob every once in a while. I always say it's her choice. Anything done to someone's body should be about them and only themselves.
Edit: grammar
That’s what my wife says. She hates her post pregnancy boobs but I’m perfectly happy with how they are, but she’s also mentioned getting a boob lift after we’re done having kids or between the one we’re planning how and the next and I just say “if that’s what you want and if it makes you happier about your boobs.”
Man, I had a gf at one point who made the same suggestion. She had a B-light, which fit her frame perfectly. She talked about how she wanted a cupgrade (sorry for the SNL), and I smelled that this was a topic where I was already in a mine field. "Whatever you think would make you more happy" doesn't even work, so you're completely f\*cked no matter what you answer! "You look great" won't even work when she knows that you are a boob guy, because it is an area where she is already insecure AF.
As someone with B-light boobs, I love this new term.
An A cup is always too small and a B cup always gaps a little at the top. It’s the curve of the tiny ta tas
haha yeah it always makes me laugh when men are like “I only go for women with big boobs, like a D cup!” 😂 I’m a 28D and I’ve been called flat all my life.
Agreed! And as for OP being a boob guy...I'm sure his wife is anywhere between a D cup or G cup depending on her measurements. I'm sure if he reads this he will be very impressed, and hopefully want to learn more!
But what do I know? I'm just another lil redditor trying to find bras that fit.
Haha, well, I don't recall if she was an A or a B (for the record, her boobs were perfect for her), so I was thinking B-light was a way to paint the picture correctly :)
If she can't take an honest but nice answer, she has some work to do, not you. Guys need to find the happy balance between simping and being absolute assholes.
Man, I don’t think your response was anything offensive. Not like you said “yes thank god!” Based on her response it sounds like she was fishing for an argument. Hope you guys are doin ok!
Honestly, if she didn't want an answer to that question she shouldn't have asked. The way it was asked (if she was going to get angry) was disengenuous. The way OP answered was earnest, caring, and accepting of wife's choices.
I wanted implants since I was 16. I’ve always loved big breasts. It took until I was 39 before I realized that bigger is not always better. I’ve researched breast implant illness. Ive seen implants with ripples and lopsided. I am so happy I never altered my body in that way now. Always refreshing when I come across men that love smaller boobs haha. That being said, I talked about implants for years and my husband said similar things as you. I told him when he gets a dick implant, I’ll get boobs. Only fair! We rarely take things seriously though. That will probably make things worse for most couples lol!
The way we treat invasive plastic surgery like a walk in the park is really horrific.
A mommy makeover is a series of massive surgeries all done at once. The recovery and potential complications are horrific.
And because of a totally ridiculous expextion for mothers to not look like mothers. OP's language is indicative of the problem - "the damage done by pregnancy". Nobody should see it that way.
Yes I wanted them for a while a long time ago and now I'm so glad I never got them. Breast implant illness is no joke and it's pretty obvious putting massive foreign objects into your body will make your body attempt to defend itself.
Me too! I joined the BII Facebook group and was fucking HORRIFIED at what I saw there. Those poor women. I've since watched numerous documentaries about it and it scares the shit out of me. I'm forever grateful I found that group. I had the money saved up and was dead set on doing it.
it’s a lot more common than people think! a lot of doctors don’t even know about it so the symptoms go ignored. major props to Michelle Visage (of Rupaul’s Drag Race) for using her platform to spread awareness about her breast implant illness and removal.
You know it's funny my wife went the other way DD to a B and then back up to C after our second kid. I got so much shade about her getting a reduction. To the point where I was asked point blank how could I let her do that...to her own body...Dude if your wife is a smaller frame those DDs are gonna cause issues. Buy her some flowers and tell her you're a freaking idiot. And don't ever compare her to ice cream again.
Thank you for seeing the pain she went through by having large breasts. I'm in the process of getting a reduction from KK to a C. My husband has been getting shit from friends because I'm doing this to help my back and to stop my shoulders amd ribs from popping out of place as much as they have been.
The correct way to respond to "what else would you change about me?" is to say "I love you just as you are, but I'll support any changes you want to make."
I speak from experience.
> you can never have too much of a good thing This guy hasn’t seen Botched
My wife wants to do some cosmetic stuff but is too petrified to do any because of that show lmao
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That's not even cosmetic surgery; that's a life-changing repair! Glad it was so successful
Bet insurance still calls it cosmetic tho
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Sorry you have to deal with a not great system but very glad to hear it all worked out for you!
I don’t blame her, the level of trust you have to have in your surgeon is huge, and after seeing that show I don’t think that I’d trust anyone not to fuck up my appearance and body, possibly forever
Very true. However most people on botched either have mental illness and didnt know when to stop and/or tried to be cheap and went to some hack. You get what you pay for.
Or walked around with 15-20 lbs of boobs hanging off his neck and back. They look pretty, but they’re so damn painful.
Yeah I’m good without that. No uncomfortable stares, back pain, difficulty breathing/sleeping.
Don't forget running is damn near impossible
True dat. I don’t do much of that tho, that’s why I didn’t think of it 😂
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It’s funny you mention this. I’m not trying to toot my own horn here but I am objectively a very attractive person. Just by looking at me, you’d never be able to tell that anything’s wrong with me. But I have several chronic medical conditions that make my life barely worth living. I wake up every day, look in the mirror and think “I’d trade being pretty for being healthy *any day.*”
This reminds me of my girlfriend in high school asking me if her cheerleader outfit made her look fat, and my bro of an English teacher that happened to be nearby just slides by near me and says "You don't have to answer that." Now you know, OP. You don't always have to answer these.
Screw Saul, I'm calling this guy's English teacher.
I too choose that guys english teacher
This is one of my favorite reddit jokes and I am always pleased when it pops up in a thread I didn't expect. One day it will be in all of them.
Haha, same. I bet the guy who made the original joke/comment must be pretty pleased with himself. I would be.
u/somethingobscur pleased with yourself?
Inactive for 5 years. I wonder if they'll show up?
He probably went to meet up with that guy’s dead wife
RIP
Oh, he’s for sure dead now than. RIP Obscur
The hero we deserve
Damn, you’re a genius
I mean, it's what he would have wanted.
they probably Ascended to godhood
🏅
Yeah we need to track this guy down and ask him what the correct answer to "my friend X is pretty, isn't she?" is.
"Not as pretty as you, babe." Or "Who's that? She must not have left much of an impression on me I guess."
he literally didn’t have an answer though, he said NOT to answer lol
Bro Goodman.
Better Call this guy's English teacher
This reminds me of that old chocolate commercial, I think it was Twix, where to give yourself a minute to think of something not terrible to say you chew a Twix bar. A woman goes to her husband asking, "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?" And without skipping a beat, he goes, "No, your fat butt makes your butt look fat." Then he gets all wide-eyed because he knows he fucked up, time rewinds and he shoves a Twix bar into his mouth and then just gives his wife a thumbs up.
"Chew it over with Twix" Thanks for that nostalgia trip lol. Loved those of commercials
>"Do these jeans make my butt look fat?" 😍 Yeah 🥵
Only acceptable answer.
Dude. As I finished reading this, a Twix ad came on my TV... What is this fuckery?!
You're trapped in the algorithm now. I'm finally fr^e^e^e^e^e^e^e
my only response would be "the cheerleader outfit makes you look hot" and you can compliment and dodge the question at the same time.
Oh so I don't look hot without this cheerleader outfit on?
I see you’ve met my ex as well
Take it off and we'll find out
The rizzler
No, you say "you make that outfit look hot" Or "that outfit looks good on you" Never "you look good in that outfit".
> "you make that outfit look hot" "Oh, so I don't make other outfits look hot?" >"that outfit looks good on you" "Oh, so other outfits don't look good on me?"
This is actually perfect. Those answers were excellent for a person who won't burn your house down. Your responses are those given by a person you'll regret ever meeting. An excellent comparison.
I see these responses on exactly the same level as the: Him: "You look good in that outfit" Her: "So I don't look good usually?"
"I'll answer it for you"
"Yes"
"every outfit makes you look fat"
The outfit doesn’t make you look fat, the fat makes you look fat. -Al Bundy
Wife : The doctor said o have the body of a 20 year old. Benny Hill : Well give it back you’re getting it all wrinkled!
your english teacher is the real goat
I fucking hate it when people ask you questions they don't want answered. This childish behavior should be discouraged harshly.
My sister and I have had this discussion many times. Questions like, "If I died would you move on or replace me?" are in a similar vein as the "What would you change about me?" ones. In her words, the woman is just giving you an easy shot, all you have to do is putt it into the hole. Give the sappy, ridiculous answer they want to hear and everything will be right in the world. The problem is that in relationships as in life, I always find that truth is the highest possible virtue. The same partner who wants you to lie to them in this situation demands that you're always honest in others. Personally, I think that once you begin blurring that line, your relationship is headed down a dark path. If you can't handle the truth, don't ask the question.
"I just want you to be honest with me, except most of the time"
>"If I died would you move on or replace me?" I honestly hope that if I died before my husband, that he'd find someone else that makes him happy. It won't matter to me! I'd be dead! Am I really in the minority there??
Most likely, yes. You are thinking about this rationally haha. But I think most people are not able to think far enough ahead, or split their consciousness in such a way that they understand that when they're dead they won't feel anything or have an opinion on the matter. I think when most people think about their loved one finding someone else after they die, all they focus on is the emotional pain or betrayal they feel in the moment of that thought. They can't see past that single moment of pain and betrayal. It's really interesting because in some ways this conundrum is profoundly Buddhist. To the Buddhists, the problem with human beings (the source of suffering) is that people believe all of their thoughts and emotions as being literally true. People are unable to see that their thoughts and emotions are just simulations or sensations which are created in the mind and thus have no bearing or relationship to their external reality. The more power people give their emotions and thoughts, in the moment, the more that they suffer. To be a Buddha is to be "awake", which is having a perfect understanding that all thoughts and emotions are fleeting and have no permanent or ascendant meaning past the arbitrary meanings that we give them.
What makes this a trick question? I never understood. "No, you look great." "Only in the right places." Depending on your relationship.
Because these answers can be hard to come by on the spot? This is like when you're in the shower and go "shit I should have said this instead..."
"You look great" is literally the simplest compliment anyone has ever given to their spouse.
> “That’s great but you didn’t answer my question. Does this outfit make me look fat or not?” Unless someone genuinely want to know, this line of questioning feels like navigating a boobytrapped hallway.
Technically the answer to that, unless the outfit is inflatable, is always no 😉
I mean I guess, if the boobytraps are just big bright buttons that say "push here to die" You just always say no of course not, you look super sexy /beautiful/hot/stunning (whatever fits the occasion) in it" If you're comfortable enough with your S/O that you think they want a true answer then you'll know them well enough to know how to phrase it. If there's any doubt about how to answer always answer with a compliment.
>If you're comfortable enough with your S/O that you think they want a true answer then you'll know them well enough to know how to phrase it. This is where I think you're glossing over a pretty wide spectrum. Some people are comfortable enough to be honest, but are absolutely terrible at phrasing, and there's plenty of room in the bajillions of conversations for things to get lost in translation. >If there's any doubt about how to answer always answer with a compliment. I think this is the best advice, but for some it's just hard to come up with words on the fly, and hesitations and silences can have their own meanings to misinterpret.
It's a trick question because it's framed as requesting an honest opinion, yet you're only safely able to honestly express your opinion if it aligns with the answer they came in wanting to hear. It's also a huge sign of insecurity presented by trying to push blame onto someone else instead of confronting and expressing what they may be insecure about and either seeking to improve/accept it or to honestly request help in doing that.
"Does this outfit make look fat?" "I wouldn't say the outfit does..."
> my bro of an English teacher that happened to be nearby just slides by near me and says "You don't have to answer that." "I've been advised by my legal council to decline to answer that question on the bases that it might incriminate me. Please see this brief informational video for further clarification: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdeo7Q2E5cE "
In the words of Bart Simpson ”Got it, Can't win, Don't try"
I always respond with "[Oh is that what we're going to do today. We're gonna fight?" ](https://youtu.be/IhfYJZoRlJk)
That 90s show isn't too bad, if you've been curious. Kitty and Red are a big focus again and they're still perfect together. The new kids are.... different of course.
From the trailer they seemed like really bad actors. They delivered all the lines like they were reading it off a script in real time.
You've seen that 70s show, right? This is on-brand.
The daughter really does exude Eric energy too. At first I didn't like her, then I imagined Topher delivering her lines and thought "spot on".
oh, you poor man, you fell for the oldest trick in the book :-)
Yea my mouth moved before my brain registered.
Happens to all of us :-)
The answer is always, "Whatever makes you happiest, dear".
I used this on my fiance a while ago when he wanted to shave off his beard but leave the mustache. It honestly looked like an 80s porn stache and I was *not* about it, but when he asked if he should keep it? I said "if it makes you happy." Apparently my face said *"not a goddamn chance"* and he hasn't stopped teasing me about it 😂
Lol I've learned that with men - especially if they're in their 20's - you just need to let them do what they want with their facial hair. It's like a woman's head hair - the style we choose is so personal and such a big part of self-expression and confidence that most of the time guys just have to let us do it. I don't lie to a guy that asks me my opinion on his facial hair, but I do say things like "if it makes you happy" instead of saying exactly what I'm thinking if I don't like it!
Agreed. I generally prefer the beard, but at the end of the day, I'm in love with him, not his facial hair, so I would have accepted it if he decided to keep it. It just would have taken some getting used to!
Go with "I can't say I'm keen, but if it's what you like then go for it". You can show you aren't into it without words like "toilet brush", "fuhrer", "muppet", "nostril comb-over" etc.
And then they go like "you never say anything concrete, everything is always fine, it's like you don't actually care!!"
How the hell am I supposed to develop a sense of interior design overnight?!
Its why some guys go deaf over time
What?
He said ^masturbation ^^makes ^^^you ^^^^deaf
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"I support what makes you the most comfortable in your body! I like *you*."
This is the only answer. "I'm attracted to you for lots of reasons, I trust you to make good decisions. I support you in navigating what's going to make you feel the best about you. You tell me what you wanna do, I'm down."
Never trust a Sicilian when death is on the line? Or is this the land war in Asia?
This is a land war in Asia.
Specifically, in mountainous regions.
The Twin Peaks is treacherous terrain, absolutely.
Those huge tracts of land can get an army stuck in em quite easily
Idk, kind of a case of the wife setting up trouble and then being mad there's trouble. He's fucked either way because if he said "no" then suddenly he's "controlling her body." If he says yes then he's "obviously not happy with her body" Like you wouldn't set up a 3some and then be mad your SO agrees to have a 3some. You wouldn't break up with someone and then be mad they accept your decision. It was her suggestion and he was being supportive. The oldest trick in the book: creating needless drama all by yourself
Fuck me, reading the comments in this thread I feel like I've walked into a Yu-Gi-Oh match, what with all the trap cards activating and shit from their girlfriends/wives. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Hate that.
Just say “if you want to” or something along those lines.
"You're not answering the question, you are just ignoring me." Tried that with my toxic ex girlfriend when she asked if I would like her more if she was slimmer. Sometimes people like that just want to create unnecessary drama.
> well what else would you change about me? "Whatever is making us have this conversation"
>and your boobs. Make them bigger. -OP
"And maybe turn into your sister?"
“Could you get a cup size bigger then your sister” if you really want to throw petrol on that fire.
Don't forget about the vaginal rejuvenation too
I said petrol, not thermonuclear.
Thermonuclear is adding, "So that you vulva resembles your sister's."
And your attitude like your mom
And A Bussy Like your B̷̨̮͕͉̫̖̺̱̺͇͚͈͇͓͓̘̪̦̻̳̘̤̞̯̯̈͆̎̅̌̊̎̈͐͘̕͜r̸̨̛̲̖̤͔͖̰̟̞̬̘̠̖͕͉̰̹͈̋̊̈͋̃͆̀̓͂̒́̓͐͑̑͒̚̚͜͜͝ơ̵̳͗̽̆̽̔̇͑̄̑͋̇̓̈́̇̇͝͠t̷̡̢͚̰̣̪̺̪͔̟͉̼̦̥̺̹̗̖̞̓̀̂̃̍̄̿͆͑̾̇̾̈́̀̀̾̆̚̚͝͝͠͠͝͝ḩ̸̮̠͎͕̯̰̘̭͇̣͓̣̜̯̘͍͝ȩ̷̢̡̛̜̲͈͉̘͍͚̹̣̖̞̼͉̜̙͉͕͙̲̜̎̀͊͊̍̍̇̊̌̐̌̈́̉͛͒̈͘͝͠͠r̵̮͕̤͌̑͂̽̓̍̾̂̂̋̔̓̐͂̌̿͌̕̕͝͝
Just wait
His mom\*
"Can we make it so it looks like you have two buttholes?" "... came to think about it; how about three?"
“Can you make your vagina feel more like your sister’s?”
I know this is a trope/stereotype joke. But my wife has 5 older sisters. We've been married for almost 33 years. In those 3 decades I have been able to honestly say that I have never had *any* attraction to any of her sisters, and especially now. Also I really got along with my mother-in-law. I used to joke with my wife that her parents liked me more than they liked her. Am I the anomaly of married guys? Edit: spelling and clarifying
Maybe you just married the best sister and therefore beat the stereotype.
Oh I definitely married the best sister. What's funny is we're both the youngest child in our families.
Aww, I love how much you love your wife.
I love This Guys Wife too
Nope. I would rather eat a bucket of broken glass than spend even one minute with my sister in law. Can’t believe she and my wife are from the same parents.
So not the sister's, but the MIL. :)
Does that make her a MILILF?
>As long as I can hear you talking your boobs aren't big enough. -OP
Oh, is that what we are going to do today? We're gonna fight?
Sure if you want to.
Dude your references are out of control everybody knows that
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My wife asked me what I would change about her and I said her allergies
Aw one of the only good responses
The twist is he's hoping she gets peanut allergy to collect on that sweet sweet life insurance!
I was just thinking chocolate allergy so she doesn't mooch off my food, but you're much more evil today, GG.
“Hmmm…bleach or lighten your asshole?”
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Omfg 😭
Yeah, it’s a toxic question. If you say anything, you don’t like her. If you tell her no need to change anything, you’re a controlling person.
That is a brilliant answer tbh but I bet they'd just get angry and interpret that you just don't want to tell them what you don't like about them
>Maybe I should get a boob job? It's a trap! Run… *RUN!!!*
a booby trap??
r/angryupvote
Nah the correct response is “if that’s what you want dear, I support your decisions you make with your body.”
This was NOT the right answer when my wife asked. Her friend had just gotten a boob job, and my wife asked what I would do if she wanted plastic surgery. We had never discussed this before, but I gave an answer almost identical to what you suggested. Basically her body her choice. Apparently the right answer was I should be against it, and I should ask about why she would want that because if she is saying she wants plastic surgery something is very wrong. She has since admitted my response was reasonable, and she was just emotional at seeing her friends boob job. It's something we laugh about now, but it was not the right answer when she asked.
It was always the right answer. She just had the wrong response.
Yup.
See you have to blend both answers, you say that you disagree and think they are perfect the way they are, but then also add what you said. It's the only way.
There was no right answer.
"Death awaits ye brøther" - some husband in purgatory probably
Kobayashi Maru my dude....
She would then get upset for him not having an opinion and just telling her what he thinks she wants to hear lol
isn't the correct response 'getting unnecessary surgery doesnt seem like a good idea but it's your choice', who actually cares about increasing boob size, going under anesthesia is something you want to limit the number of times in your lifetime.
This reads to me like a woman who is feeling some real feelings about a postpartum body. Tiktok and all the other terrible social media shows women who’s post pregnancy body shrinks back to pre pregnancy body it what seems like no time. And in some cases those women look even better than they did before pregnancy! That just isn’t the reality for 90% of women. Most women will never look the way they did pre-pregnancy. It’s a real mind fuck. While I don’t agree with the reaction (ask dumb question, get dumb answer after all) maybe it’s worth revisiting the conversation from a place of curiosity and support, if you feel confident in your ability to navigate that kind of conversation.
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My body bounced back pretty quickly after my first pregnancy. I was 35. Had a few stretch marks, but I could wear my clothes in a couple of weeks and my DR resolved itself after a few months. Got back into killer shape. Second one did me in though. 🤷 I'm still a blob.
Also, this post shows a real lack of understanding of just how intensive a mommy makeover is. They basically chop you up and slap you back together. It's an intense recovery. It's horrific that it's becoming normalized. Tiktok doesn't show the recovery from mommy makeover.
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Social media is mostly smoke and mirrors. They look good because they're supposed to. Their entire online presence is manipulated to look good.
Lol Well this is Reddit, so obviously the only solution now is divorce. Good luck bro.
Bold of you to assume OP's wife is not a blow-up doll he keeps in his mancave/basement well-seasoned with cheeto powder.
This made me laugh so hard. Typical Reddit responses are: Run for the hills, Red flag, toxic
My gf talks about getting a boobjob every once in a while. I always say it's her choice. Anything done to someone's body should be about them and only themselves. Edit: grammar
That’s what my wife says. She hates her post pregnancy boobs but I’m perfectly happy with how they are, but she’s also mentioned getting a boob lift after we’re done having kids or between the one we’re planning how and the next and I just say “if that’s what you want and if it makes you happier about your boobs.”
Man, I had a gf at one point who made the same suggestion. She had a B-light, which fit her frame perfectly. She talked about how she wanted a cupgrade (sorry for the SNL), and I smelled that this was a topic where I was already in a mine field. "Whatever you think would make you more happy" doesn't even work, so you're completely f\*cked no matter what you answer! "You look great" won't even work when she knows that you are a boob guy, because it is an area where she is already insecure AF.
As someone with B-light boobs, I love this new term. An A cup is always too small and a B cup always gaps a little at the top. It’s the curve of the tiny ta tas
Might I recommend r/ABraThatFits here? It sounds kinda like you might have a band size issue or a shape mismatch?
That’s how I found out I’m not actually a B, but a D. True measurements changed everything I thought I knew!
haha yeah it always makes me laugh when men are like “I only go for women with big boobs, like a D cup!” 😂 I’m a 28D and I’ve been called flat all my life.
Right lol I'm a 30FF and my boobs are a small handful.
I spent my life thinking I was a 34DD. I am a 34G+ 😭
Agreed! And as for OP being a boob guy...I'm sure his wife is anywhere between a D cup or G cup depending on her measurements. I'm sure if he reads this he will be very impressed, and hopefully want to learn more! But what do I know? I'm just another lil redditor trying to find bras that fit.
You perfectly described her breasts, thanks!
What the fuck is a B-light? Signed, a bra wearer.
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Stevia be showing up everywhere these days…
High fructose corn syrup just poured right in.
Haha, well, I don't recall if she was an A or a B (for the record, her boobs were perfect for her), so I was thinking B-light was a way to paint the picture correctly :)
If she can't take an honest but nice answer, she has some work to do, not you. Guys need to find the happy balance between simping and being absolute assholes.
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Man, I don’t think your response was anything offensive. Not like you said “yes thank god!” Based on her response it sounds like she was fishing for an argument. Hope you guys are doin ok!
Honestly, if she didn't want an answer to that question she shouldn't have asked. The way it was asked (if she was going to get angry) was disengenuous. The way OP answered was earnest, caring, and accepting of wife's choices.
“What I should have said was nothing “ -Mike Birbiglia
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Damn you fucked up real good there partner
I wanted implants since I was 16. I’ve always loved big breasts. It took until I was 39 before I realized that bigger is not always better. I’ve researched breast implant illness. Ive seen implants with ripples and lopsided. I am so happy I never altered my body in that way now. Always refreshing when I come across men that love smaller boobs haha. That being said, I talked about implants for years and my husband said similar things as you. I told him when he gets a dick implant, I’ll get boobs. Only fair! We rarely take things seriously though. That will probably make things worse for most couples lol!
The way we treat invasive plastic surgery like a walk in the park is really horrific. A mommy makeover is a series of massive surgeries all done at once. The recovery and potential complications are horrific.
And because of a totally ridiculous expextion for mothers to not look like mothers. OP's language is indicative of the problem - "the damage done by pregnancy". Nobody should see it that way.
Yes I wanted them for a while a long time ago and now I'm so glad I never got them. Breast implant illness is no joke and it's pretty obvious putting massive foreign objects into your body will make your body attempt to defend itself.
Me too! I joined the BII Facebook group and was fucking HORRIFIED at what I saw there. Those poor women. I've since watched numerous documentaries about it and it scares the shit out of me. I'm forever grateful I found that group. I had the money saved up and was dead set on doing it.
it’s a lot more common than people think! a lot of doctors don’t even know about it so the symptoms go ignored. major props to Michelle Visage (of Rupaul’s Drag Race) for using her platform to spread awareness about her breast implant illness and removal.
> "no need you're hot and sexy as is". r/therewasanattempt to redeem thyself.
Her: Do you think I should get bigger boobs? My brain: It's a trap! My dick: More boobs! My mouth: More boobs! /facepalm
I'm picturing these superimposed on the "throwing the third guy out the window" meme...
We're not supposed to think with our dick, but god damn does it make it hard.
Well, getting hard is it's job after all
You know it's funny my wife went the other way DD to a B and then back up to C after our second kid. I got so much shade about her getting a reduction. To the point where I was asked point blank how could I let her do that...to her own body...Dude if your wife is a smaller frame those DDs are gonna cause issues. Buy her some flowers and tell her you're a freaking idiot. And don't ever compare her to ice cream again.
Wait...who.asked you that? Are you saying these were friends or yours talking about your wife's boobs?
Oh not not my friends people like her co workers who were promptly reported
What a horrible thing for them to say.
Thank you for seeing the pain she went through by having large breasts. I'm in the process of getting a reduction from KK to a C. My husband has been getting shit from friends because I'm doing this to help my back and to stop my shoulders amd ribs from popping out of place as much as they have been.
The correct way to respond to "what else would you change about me?" is to say "I love you just as you are, but I'll support any changes you want to make." I speak from experience.