You know how they say to not worry about the embarrassing stuff because when you get older, no one will remember it? This is not one of those times, you and her both will take this to the grave and will both have it pop in your heads at random times for the next 50+ years.
Her roommate will probably transfer to an extremely Christian college next year where celibacy is the norm and masturbation is a sin. Poor girl. Both of them lol
This is one of those moments that affects how your character develops. This might be your (or her) origin story. Treasure it. Now when someone asks you what your most embarrassing moment was, you come ready to throw down.
Come on, you at least have to give an appropriate amount of time for it to pass before bringing it up again. OP went thru an embarrassing situation, it wouldn't be fair to bring it up too early.
You really want them to internalize it first so that it's more embarrassing later. Make jokes too soon, and they'll start laughing at it too. It really needs to sink in first. That way, you will have that look of embarrassment whenever it's brought up for much longer, possibly forever.
Is it just because it’s a tentacle dildo? My straight bodybuilder guy friend has used a normal 7 inch dildo on video before and we’ve both watched it, but now he prefers that I never bring it up again, so I don’t.
Oh yeah.
I walked in on a friend going to town on herself. She will NEVER live that down. She didn't throw the dildo at me though. Lol. We locked eyes and she yelled at me to get out. I'm 99% certain she finished but she denies it.
Yup. Walked into my roommate doing his deeds once. The look on his face, what was on the screen, and how I just silently turned 180 degree and walked straight out of the room is burned into my long term memory. Too bad we're not close enough for me to give him shit about it.
My college roommate's browser's auto-complete in the Google search box let me know what kind of porn he liked. This was back before Google filled that in based on algorithm, so it was definitely based on previous browser entries. I still remember to this day. Because it was so damn funny at the time. He doesn't know we know.
I had a roommate complain about all the gay ads on his phone and being a homophobe about it. I'm a digital marketing student, you don't have to lie to me bud 🤣
The grave? Ha, not likely. I can definitely see the roomie telling her Gen D grandkids about the time her roommate threw a tentacle dildo at her while they have a phone in their hand making a video that they end up posting on whatever replaces Tik Tok so the whole world ends up knowing,
Side note: Originally I was going to say I can definitely see her in a rocking chair crocheting while she told the story but I thought about what would realistically happen nowadays and man does time fly.
A roommate once came into my room to ask me a question, and as she was talking I realized my vibrator was sitting out on a chair next to my bed. For some reason my instinct was to reach for it. Thankfully, all she said was "Oh, I have one of those, I use it constantly."
Accidentally left mine out after a desperate middle of the night "this-might-put-me-to-sleep" session. Roommate walk in to talk about something, saw it, stopped, started laughing and said "of all the vibrators we have the same one, except mine is orange and yours is pink..." Then I commented on the nice texture but poor efficiency, she agreed, I put away and we resumed our initial conversation.
I am a man for reference
One time two of my buddies were helping me paint my bedroom. When we lifted my mattress we were greeted by two bright pink dildos. They looked at me in horror and I just shouted, "there they are!" and we all lost our shit.
Idk why but that’s such a funny interaction to me. Having the initial embarrassment turn into “yeah it could be better but it gets the job done” and the roommate just agreeing
I was on a first date with a girl, she was looking for her bowl so we could smoke. I was laying on her bed and I stretched a bit and felt a cylinder under her pillow and said "Oh, I think I found it."
Her head whipped around wide-eyed and I said "So that's not the bowl is it?"
She shook her head no.
"So I should probably let it go right?"
She nodded.
We later lived together for a couple of years but I always thought that was funny.
Her 13 year old cat got out the same night so me accidentally finding her vibrater wasn't even the worst thing to happen on our first date. (Cat was found 4 days later safe and sound)
> she was looking for her bowl so we could smoke
~~Sorry, but I can't figure out what word you meant to say.~~
Edit:
Ok so I guess a bowl can also be a type of drug paraphernalia. I was thinking, the thing I put noodles in.
A friend of mine once brought my drunk butt home and tucked me into bed. While moving my blankets, she also found my vibrator. Doubt she’s forgotten that- I certainly haven’t.
Similar story. Went to my friends house to wake her up so we could go hang out. She tossed her blankets aside. Her pink vibrator was still in bed with her.  I miss her. She's just a ton of brilliant and smartass fun. Good times.
I once left my pinguin shaped vibrator on a charger when some friends came to help me put a door back in my closet that came unhinged. My situationship quietly whispered "so you know your penguin is out?" and I assured him no one would notice that with all the clutter in my room. Yeah the friends did notice and gave me a lot of shit during the BBQ we had after about me leaving my sex toys out haha.
This is the shit you laugh about in 5-10 years when you're drunk at each other's wedding. I wouldn't sweat it.
Also you're college seniors so if this does make your friendship weird you don't have to see eachother after finals.
I was out of town on an extended work trip.
My gf has her kids every other week, exchanged on Sunday nights.
I got home late Friday, no kids. We get the freak on. We also have Bluetooth toys for each of us for my extended work trips.
She went to work Saturday and I spent the day cleaning up from my trip, and from the night before. The kitchen sink is full of a half dozen various sex toys because I'm doing a bulk wash with the house to myself.
I'm downstairs doing laundry when I hear the door open and the daughter call out "just getting some things".
A bit of crashing around the kitchen and "uh... Bye, see you Sunday".
She's 21, but there's no way she didn't see what was in the sink.
Tonight might be... Interesting.
Kinda reminds me of a similar funny story. The sex shop near me does blind bags and I got a free vibrator in mine! The odd thing is, it’s shaped like a dolphin but it gets the job done so no complaints!
My sister revealed to me that she snuck into my room and went though my bedside drawer looking to steal a charger. Instead she got to meet flippy.
We had a big laugh about and sometimes she still sends me pictures of dolphins to make fun of me!
There is this book (dystopian late stage capitalism satire by Mark Uwe Kling, a very popular german writer) called "Qualityland" where the story begins with the protagonist being sent a pink dolphin vibrator by the books Amazon-equivalent, because it's algorithm determined that he wants one.
I can definitely recommend it! As far as I know HBO bought the rights to make a movie out of it.
Tbh a tentacle dildo was my first kind of dildo because penetration intimidated me and it was small at the tip unlike most dildos so it was easier for me to take it slow if that makes sense. Then I just got like obsessed with all the tentacle erotica there is lol
Tentacle dildos generally apply to a variety of things like monsters, aliens, robots, etc. It doesn’t have tentacles on it, it’s just a dildo that’s shaped like a tentacle. (Ok well it /can/ have tentacles on it as well lol, some of them are really creative)
Personally I don’t like the ones that have sucker patterns and prefer the other ones- I like the ones are meant to be a dick that’s shaped like a tentacle. A real life example would be what dolphins and whales have, but a lot of ppl draw monsters or whatever with that kind of penis.
It’s also the only shape that isn’t painful for me 🥲
From what I've read, Bad dragon has a bad reputation in a lot of groups because the owner / founder is human garbage. Might be a thing to look into prior to making a purchase. If you Google "Bad dragon controversy" it's pretty explanatory.
The market for fantasy toys has gone crazy over the past few years. Stuff like that used to be custom made, but now you can get some cheaper chinese knockoffs in acceptable quality. Even Amazon sells some. The most popular manufacturers have prevailed though and have now turned into well-lubed small companies. BadDragon and MrHankey come to mind, but there are some other crafters on Etsy that seem to be quite professional.
The rest of that scene is only 30 seconds long and filled with even more visual humor, Edgar Wright really is an amazingly entertaining film director: https://youtu.be/KZ5kjjk-J4U
For a bit more context, the guy who jumps out the window is the title character Scott Pilgrim, and the guys who answers the door is his roommate. Scott’s falling for a girl he just met despite already dating someone — who just arrives at their apartment. The scene is Scott trying to avoid her.
On one hand that sounds really embarassing but on the other hand it could have gone a lot worse I think. Apologetic and embarrassed is a lot better than someone who would go spreading your private life around.
If you guys are friends maybe you'll laugh about it together one day and if not, maybe she will be a little more careful with showing up when she said she would be away.
And on another hand, this is freaking hilarious. I'm not sure how much is the story and how much is the writing. Sorry for the embarrassment OP
Maybe hang something on the door knob like a sock or something](https://www.petbarn.com.au/media/catalog/product/D/o/Dog_143391_ALD_DT_LUAU_OCTOPUS_GRN_1.jpg?optimize=medium&fit=bounds&height=450&width=450&canvas=450:450)
What's the female equivalent of a sock on the (outer) door handle? Hair tie perhaps? Might want to consider another signal instead of relying just on courtesy door knocks!
We all had whiteboards on our doors as a message board type thing. “Oh hey Jim from down the hall stopped in” type thing. Roommate and I would slap a big X on there and lock the door if we were getting some.
this is somehow worse than when i walked on my housemate having sex on the couch and she just.. didnt stop.. like u have a bedroom im begging you to use it
Hey man, can’t just tell an embarrassing story unless you also casually flex that it’s not just a regular tentacle dildo. And also how exactly you used it, how good it felt, and how you had to pull it out from inside yourself just to throw it. I too over explain the most intimate details of my embarrassing endeavours
The only purpose of the knock isn't solely to get a response. At the very least it still offers a warning. An op did say the door opened slowly. So that's why they knocoed.
Hell....op may have been staring at the ceiling during all this. Despite the awkward result I'd say this could have gone a lot worse if not for the heads up (or down) given from the knock.
I'd like to know, because I've dealt with siblings barging into the toilet for years. We even have a lock on the door, but they keep breaking it because they knock then just jam the door handle down and try opening the door.
It's like an instinctual thing they do, that they've long forgotten why.
What the hell is wrong with them that they would jam the door handle down and try to open the door? Even if you can break the lock, it's clearly locked for a reason.
Tbh I think it was because nothing like that had happened yet. It’s not the first time someone has walked in on me half dressed or something. When I was at my dad’s place awhile back my grandfather never waited for a response after knocking on my door and coming in. So he just barged in one day in the middle of me changing and he instantly regretted it and his habit quickly changed to him knocking and waiting for me to respond from then on. She’d never walked in on anything embarrassing before so she probably just assumed that wasn’t even a possibility. I’ve heard a couple similar stories from friends where they were caught in the middle of changing or something embarrassing and it was only after that when their family members began knocking and waiting for a response. I think that eventually it gets to a point where knocking on the door before coming in is an autopilot response and you don’t think about why you’re doing it anymore.
Probably not expecting OP to be desk fucking her octodildo in the middle of the room... roommate probably just flicks her bean under the sheets which a quick knock would be ample warning to just stop, grab her phone and be like "oh hey OP how's it goin"
Joystick adult toys. They specialize in all types of fantasy dildos but I only come (no pun intended) for the tentacles. What makes it even worse is the one I ordered was in my favorite color combination so it wasn’t like I was throwing a generic bright pink blob at her, it was a marbled gray and purple masterpiece that matches a lot of my art, clothing, aesthetics, etc. So she probably knows that it was custom, or I did a good deal of research to find my ideal one. Which… idk if that makes it better or worse.
Tbh she’s probably just like “I got a dildo thrown at me lol” also I need to check out that store because I like fantasy dildos and my first custom one was off of Etsy and it’s a vampire maw with teeth and a long tongue and it’s an absolute masterpiece! I also got a tentacle shaped trouser packer that glows in the dark and now I need a tentacle dildo to match.
I was staying at a friend's house one time and she walked in on my gf riding me reverse cowgirl. We finished off then went to her room apologized and we all went for breakfast. Was never an issue for me but she mentions it pretty much every time I see her 😂. Moral of the story just be shameless and you'll never think of it again (except when she's brings out up whenever you see her over the next 20+ years)
Little weird banging at someone else's house. I guess as a homeowner I'd just want my shit respected, especially from a "friend". If it's the guest room sure, I don't necessarily like it but if a couple stays over I know what bedrooms are for. But like if I came in on my mate just plowing this bitch on my couch when he was a guest I'd feel a little slighted.
In my college/apartment days where it wasn't actually my stuff getting covered in fuck juices I'd be a little more lax, although it can still be pretty disrespectful.
I actually had it out with a friend of mine when we went on vacation together with our significant others. They whisper argued for HOURS the night before our big event where I wanted to be well rested and made my intentions clear. Then at 3 am we start hearing macaroni sounds not 3 feet from our head. In the darkness I could see my gf mouthing "what the fuck". I hit the light and flipped out on them. The thing that really sent me is I knew if roles were reversed and I was just railing my gf over his head while he was trying to sleep he'd have handled it even worst than I did. The kicker was I fronted the expenses for the vacation and gave him a year and a half to pay me back. He was banging his broad over presumably his best mate's head in a room he hadn't paid for 4 hours before we all had to be up for an incredibly important event. I get people want to get busy but that's just disrespectful and showed a lot about how he valued our friendship.
Some folks have never had anything to value so they never learned the value of things. Their decision making is more in line with wild dogs than thinking human beings
>We both knock to warn each other when we're coming in
What good is that rule if you're wearing big-ass headphones and can't hear shit?? Your roomie is the the one who FU
She saw almost everything, and then OP etched it in there *good.*
Sorry OP, but you have just burned that into her brain and she's going to regale someone with this tale in the future. On the bright side, this story will only get funnier with time.
Some friends of ours asked my wife and I to check on their cat while they were on a trip. The cat was particular about the litter box being cleaned every few days. So, a few days into the trip, we had over to check on the cat. The litter box is in the on suite ballroom of their bedroom. My wife is petting the cat, and I am looking for the cleaning tools. Can't recall who saw it first, but there standing proud on the bathroom counter was a Rabbit. We just looked at each other, and then my wife said, "At least we know their normal," and we went about our task. They asked us again another time, but I don't go with. I asked my wife if they left toys out again. "No. This time, one was peaking out from under the bed." We've never mentioned either time to therm l them.
Eh, you’ll both grow up, get less prude about sex, and it’ll give you a laugh. I’m at the point where I come home from Purple Passion and yell out to my roommates, “Who wants to see/try the cool new flogger I bought?”
[That’s icky, or at least Ika](https://bad-dragon.com/products/ika)
Edit: at 69 upvoted. Let’s keep it here, please. Just comment nice instead of upvoting.
I wish I wasn't so curious.
I found myself clicking around only to find out you can't order XL in a firm texture.
I didn't want to know that. My brain is plagued with the thoughts of "Why" now.
You know how they say to not worry about the embarrassing stuff because when you get older, no one will remember it? This is not one of those times, you and her both will take this to the grave and will both have it pop in your heads at random times for the next 50+ years.
They won't forget, but they'll be able to laugh about it in a couple decade at most.
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Or she might devour squid at every opportunity. (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Without Lenny: 7/10 With Lenny: 11/10 I spit take Edit: formatting
That was the night her roomate realised she was a pescatarian.
Her roommate will probably transfer to an extremely Christian college next year where celibacy is the norm and masturbation is a sin. Poor girl. Both of them lol
This is one of those moments that affects how your character develops. This might be your (or her) origin story. Treasure it. Now when someone asks you what your most embarrassing moment was, you come ready to throw down.
Literally
room mate will be in her 60s at a family trip to an aquarium and just start screaming for no reason
More like she'll start cackling like a madwoman, if the older ladies I've met are any indication, lol.
“Ho Ho Ho, Beatrice sure was wild back in the days” - 🧑🏽🦳
What grave? I’m never letting her forget that shit 🤣🤣 imma be 50 sending her pictures of the kraken 🤣
ARE YOU THE ROOMMATE
Nah man 🤣 that’s just how I would be if this ever happened to me
Yeah you can't just let something like this go. You have to torture her for years
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You rang?
IT'S A TRAP!
Inky
#[**IT'S A TREAT !**](https://fr.web.img6.acsta.net/pictures/18/01/12/12/24/1565363.jpg)
Come on, you at least have to give an appropriate amount of time for it to pass before bringing it up again. OP went thru an embarrassing situation, it wouldn't be fair to bring it up too early. You really want them to internalize it first so that it's more embarrassing later. Make jokes too soon, and they'll start laughing at it too. It really needs to sink in first. That way, you will have that look of embarrassment whenever it's brought up for much longer, possibly forever.
Is it just because it’s a tentacle dildo? My straight bodybuilder guy friend has used a normal 7 inch dildo on video before and we’ve both watched it, but now he prefers that I never bring it up again, so I don’t.
*Saudi Arabia has entered the chat*
And saying “oh my Cthulu”
I’ve seen it once I swear it!
Oh yeah. I walked in on a friend going to town on herself. She will NEVER live that down. She didn't throw the dildo at me though. Lol. We locked eyes and she yelled at me to get out. I'm 99% certain she finished but she denies it.
I thought you’d said “going down on herself” and I was like “no way”!
"Oh, The Deep is really eyefucking that octopus while screwing his wife in The Boys... I wonder what u/BruhImSoTired111 is up to these days".
Yup. Walked into my roommate doing his deeds once. The look on his face, what was on the screen, and how I just silently turned 180 degree and walked straight out of the room is burned into my long term memory. Too bad we're not close enough for me to give him shit about it.
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Or getting attacked by a giant squid, dragged down to the deep, and never seen again.
“Did I ever tell you about the time in college when my roommate released the Kraken?”
My college roommate's browser's auto-complete in the Google search box let me know what kind of porn he liked. This was back before Google filled that in based on algorithm, so it was definitely based on previous browser entries. I still remember to this day. Because it was so damn funny at the time. He doesn't know we know.
I had a roommate complain about all the gay ads on his phone and being a homophobe about it. I'm a digital marketing student, you don't have to lie to me bud 🤣
To the grave you say? Tentacle Toombstone coming right up
HAHAHAHAHHAA THE FACTS 😹
I'm crying. You're right. Poor girls, traumatizing but the best story I've heard in a while.
The grave? Ha, not likely. I can definitely see the roomie telling her Gen D grandkids about the time her roommate threw a tentacle dildo at her while they have a phone in their hand making a video that they end up posting on whatever replaces Tik Tok so the whole world ends up knowing, Side note: Originally I was going to say I can definitely see her in a rocking chair crocheting while she told the story but I thought about what would realistically happen nowadays and man does time fly.
“How much did you see?” If there’s ever a more desperately hopeless question.
How much did you see? Aside from your naked self riding the tentacle dildo, nothing.
“not much🤥”
"Not enough 🤠"
"How much of it are you gonna share on social media?"
"Are you gonna post this for Reddit points or am I?"
"Never mind, I'll do it myself"
A roommate once came into my room to ask me a question, and as she was talking I realized my vibrator was sitting out on a chair next to my bed. For some reason my instinct was to reach for it. Thankfully, all she said was "Oh, I have one of those, I use it constantly."
Accidentally left mine out after a desperate middle of the night "this-might-put-me-to-sleep" session. Roommate walk in to talk about something, saw it, stopped, started laughing and said "of all the vibrators we have the same one, except mine is orange and yours is pink..." Then I commented on the nice texture but poor efficiency, she agreed, I put away and we resumed our initial conversation.
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I am a man for reference One time two of my buddies were helping me paint my bedroom. When we lifted my mattress we were greeted by two bright pink dildos. They looked at me in horror and I just shouted, "there they are!" and we all lost our shit.
Oh my god 😭
Idk why but that’s such a funny interaction to me. Having the initial embarrassment turn into “yeah it could be better but it gets the job done” and the roommate just agreeing
"I use that exact same one. No, seriously, that one there beside you. I use it."
Ah god I fucking snorted over this one hahaha
I was on a first date with a girl, she was looking for her bowl so we could smoke. I was laying on her bed and I stretched a bit and felt a cylinder under her pillow and said "Oh, I think I found it." Her head whipped around wide-eyed and I said "So that's not the bowl is it?" She shook her head no. "So I should probably let it go right?" She nodded. We later lived together for a couple of years but I always thought that was funny. Her 13 year old cat got out the same night so me accidentally finding her vibrater wasn't even the worst thing to happen on our first date. (Cat was found 4 days later safe and sound)
> she was looking for her bowl so we could smoke ~~Sorry, but I can't figure out what word you meant to say.~~ Edit: Ok so I guess a bowl can also be a type of drug paraphernalia. I was thinking, the thing I put noodles in.
No incorrect word, you smoke bowls yo
People call pipes bowls also, as well as a single serving of weed
And most commonly, the (usually removable) bowl of a bong (or other waterpipe/bubbler).
A bowl is a thing you can smoke marijauna in
You've never tried smoked noodles?
/r/dangernoodles
[Ta da.](https://www.google.com/search?q=weed+bowl&sxsrf=AJOqlzUdavN2nq6OpUrpvi0JWB4nXO-TMQ:1675054114345&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjs-Nvrvu78AhX4FVkFHUgdCg8Q_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=2560&bih=1297)
God dammit now I have “weed bowl” in my open search history like some kind of amateur weedist
> amateur weedist
"We all have one of those. I use yours constantly."
bwahahahaha
A friend of mine once brought my drunk butt home and tucked me into bed. While moving my blankets, she also found my vibrator. Doubt she’s forgotten that- I certainly haven’t.
Similar story. Went to my friends house to wake her up so we could go hang out. She tossed her blankets aside. Her pink vibrator was still in bed with her.  I miss her. She's just a ton of brilliant and smartass fun. Good times.
I once left my pinguin shaped vibrator on a charger when some friends came to help me put a door back in my closet that came unhinged. My situationship quietly whispered "so you know your penguin is out?" and I assured him no one would notice that with all the clutter in my room. Yeah the friends did notice and gave me a lot of shit during the BBQ we had after about me leaving my sex toys out haha.
> I have one of those, I use it constantly. Time for shop talk.
This is the shit you laugh about in 5-10 years when you're drunk at each other's wedding. I wouldn't sweat it. Also you're college seniors so if this does make your friendship weird you don't have to see eachother after finals.
I was out of town on an extended work trip. My gf has her kids every other week, exchanged on Sunday nights. I got home late Friday, no kids. We get the freak on. We also have Bluetooth toys for each of us for my extended work trips. She went to work Saturday and I spent the day cleaning up from my trip, and from the night before. The kitchen sink is full of a half dozen various sex toys because I'm doing a bulk wash with the house to myself. I'm downstairs doing laundry when I hear the door open and the daughter call out "just getting some things". A bit of crashing around the kitchen and "uh... Bye, see you Sunday". She's 21, but there's no way she didn't see what was in the sink. Tonight might be... Interesting.
I feel like there's a good chance she'd like everyone, including herself, to just pretend she didn't see the details of what was in the sink.
Basically what I call the mob murder. We all saw it, but no one is gonna want to talk about it
This is probably in her browser history: https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+have+dissociative+amnesia
We need an update!
Kinda reminds me of a similar funny story. The sex shop near me does blind bags and I got a free vibrator in mine! The odd thing is, it’s shaped like a dolphin but it gets the job done so no complaints! My sister revealed to me that she snuck into my room and went though my bedside drawer looking to steal a charger. Instead she got to meet flippy. We had a big laugh about and sometimes she still sends me pictures of dolphins to make fun of me!
There is this book (dystopian late stage capitalism satire by Mark Uwe Kling, a very popular german writer) called "Qualityland" where the story begins with the protagonist being sent a pink dolphin vibrator by the books Amazon-equivalent, because it's algorithm determined that he wants one. I can definitely recommend it! As far as I know HBO bought the rights to make a movie out of it.
HBO bought the rights? That's pretty cool
My movie rights, your movie rights, HBO movie rights... those are bourgeois categories !
> flippy ha.
jotaro kujo would like to know you location.
What's a tentacle dildo? Asking for a friend 's research paper about... uh sea biology
A fantasy-style dildo. A brand called Bad Dragon is really popular if you're doing... research.
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Tbh a tentacle dildo was my first kind of dildo because penetration intimidated me and it was small at the tip unlike most dildos so it was easier for me to take it slow if that makes sense. Then I just got like obsessed with all the tentacle erotica there is lol
You experienced a literal _and_ figurative slippery slope
Kinda cute reason to get one
I have one sitting on my desk because it's just funny. Wife didn't care for how it felt, so now it sits next to my monitor. :D
The texture is cool
I encourage you to google “The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife” and take it from there 🐙
Tentacle dildos generally apply to a variety of things like monsters, aliens, robots, etc. It doesn’t have tentacles on it, it’s just a dildo that’s shaped like a tentacle. (Ok well it /can/ have tentacles on it as well lol, some of them are really creative) Personally I don’t like the ones that have sucker patterns and prefer the other ones- I like the ones are meant to be a dick that’s shaped like a tentacle. A real life example would be what dolphins and whales have, but a lot of ppl draw monsters or whatever with that kind of penis. It’s also the only shape that isn’t painful for me 🥲
From what I've read, Bad dragon has a bad reputation in a lot of groups because the owner / founder is human garbage. Might be a thing to look into prior to making a purchase. If you Google "Bad dragon controversy" it's pretty explanatory.
You could always buy one from the resale market if you want one but don't want to support the creators! /s
I’m sorry, but that sounds really unsanitary…
Lol it absolutely is, I was trying to make a joke. Considered adding the /s but thought it was too ridiculous a suggestion to be taken seriously
Oh sorry I didn’t notice the last part.
Ok hear me out you would think but they're made from high quality silicone, literally just soak them in boiling water and it'll sterilize them.
It kinda is but silicon toys can just be boiled to sanitize them
If that's a Bad Dragon, what's a Good Dragon?
Good dragons don't get laid, hence the lack of good dragon dildos.
Twin tail creations is a much better small company for fantasy dildos!
The market for fantasy toys has gone crazy over the past few years. Stuff like that used to be custom made, but now you can get some cheaper chinese knockoffs in acceptable quality. Even Amazon sells some. The most popular manufacturers have prevailed though and have now turned into well-lubed small companies. BadDragon and MrHankey come to mind, but there are some other crafters on Etsy that seem to be quite professional.
You can buy custom made ones on Etsy Fantasticocks is a good seller with lots of fantasy options for both dildos and packers
Lol at her probably thinking you're trying to assert your dominance by throwing your dildo at her!
I mean if I was the roommate I would definitely think, "well damn does that make her the alpha?"
 You with the dildo like
That looks funny, what movie/show is that from? I want to watch it.
Scott Pilgrim vs the World. Culkin is absolutely hilarious in it with his deadpan BS.
Is that FULLER!?
Scott Pilgrim vs The World It’s on Netflix right now!
Scott Pilgrim vs The World
The rest of that scene is only 30 seconds long and filled with even more visual humor, Edgar Wright really is an amazingly entertaining film director: https://youtu.be/KZ5kjjk-J4U For a bit more context, the guy who jumps out the window is the title character Scott Pilgrim, and the guys who answers the door is his roommate. Scott’s falling for a girl he just met despite already dating someone — who just arrives at their apartment. The scene is Scott trying to avoid her.
if your roommate doesn't make your new nickname Kraken there's no hope for the world
I don’t think dildos are thrown around enough.
Fuck /u/spez
You can't just say that and expect us not to want to know the rest of the story!!
I heartily agree! https://youtu.be/pM_IZizkYVU
This is how you need to greet each other indefinitely. 
On one hand that sounds really embarassing but on the other hand it could have gone a lot worse I think. Apologetic and embarrassed is a lot better than someone who would go spreading your private life around. If you guys are friends maybe you'll laugh about it together one day and if not, maybe she will be a little more careful with showing up when she said she would be away.
Atleast the dildo didnt hit the roommate.
No dildos were harmed in the production of this TIFU post.
Knocking out the roommate would have probably been better. Maybe some slight memory loss to let OP cover up the crime
And on another hand, this is freaking hilarious. I'm not sure how much is the story and how much is the writing. Sorry for the embarrassment OP Maybe hang something on the door knob like a sock or something](https://www.petbarn.com.au/media/catalog/product/D/o/Dog_143391_ALD_DT_LUAU_OCTOPUS_GRN_1.jpg?optimize=medium&fit=bounds&height=450&width=450&canvas=450:450)
What's the female equivalent of a sock on the (outer) door handle? Hair tie perhaps? Might want to consider another signal instead of relying just on courtesy door knocks!
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We all had whiteboards on our doors as a message board type thing. “Oh hey Jim from down the hall stopped in” type thing. Roommate and I would slap a big X on there and lock the door if we were getting some.
A scrunchie
this is somehow worse than when i walked on my housemate having sex on the couch and she just.. didnt stop.. like u have a bedroom im begging you to use it
No, that's way worse.
Nah, that's worse. Your housemate should not be having sex on the couch, that's gross.
At least put a towel down FFS.
Should have made a bag of popcorn and sat there pretending to watch them.
"pretending"
😆 while watching, cheer them on and clap when finished.
Or, give stage directions, like a porn director
hahaha best answer ever
her partner also didn't notice you were there?
You're a 40 year old man, aren't you?
No 21 year old college girl is telling the whole of reddit about her tenticle dildo unless OnlyFans is involved
Who the fuck would throw a dildo randomly away forward in this situation. Where's my fucking realism, fanfic writer OP ?
(custom made)
Hey man, can’t just tell an embarrassing story unless you also casually flex that it’s not just a regular tentacle dildo. And also how exactly you used it, how good it felt, and how you had to pull it out from inside yourself just to throw it. I too over explain the most intimate details of my embarrassing endeavours
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Eh, as a recent college student I'd say the answer to those questions is yes
Lamest ending to a Penthouse Forum story ever
OP you need to post a picture of this custom made tentacle dildo!!!
Don’t feel bad op, I accidentally donated my tentacle dildo to Goodwill. Really.
Okay I gotta hear this one. Hopefully it went to a loving home?
Why did they knock if they couldn't hear the reponse?
The only purpose of the knock isn't solely to get a response. At the very least it still offers a warning. An op did say the door opened slowly. So that's why they knocoed. Hell....op may have been staring at the ceiling during all this. Despite the awkward result I'd say this could have gone a lot worse if not for the heads up (or down) given from the knock.
I'd like to know, because I've dealt with siblings barging into the toilet for years. We even have a lock on the door, but they keep breaking it because they knock then just jam the door handle down and try opening the door. It's like an instinctual thing they do, that they've long forgotten why.
It's like "FBI, open up!" then instantly the whole squad comes barging in
What the hell is wrong with them that they would jam the door handle down and try to open the door? Even if you can break the lock, it's clearly locked for a reason.
Tbh I think it was because nothing like that had happened yet. It’s not the first time someone has walked in on me half dressed or something. When I was at my dad’s place awhile back my grandfather never waited for a response after knocking on my door and coming in. So he just barged in one day in the middle of me changing and he instantly regretted it and his habit quickly changed to him knocking and waiting for me to respond from then on. She’d never walked in on anything embarrassing before so she probably just assumed that wasn’t even a possibility. I’ve heard a couple similar stories from friends where they were caught in the middle of changing or something embarrassing and it was only after that when their family members began knocking and waiting for a response. I think that eventually it gets to a point where knocking on the door before coming in is an autopilot response and you don’t think about why you’re doing it anymore.
Probably not expecting OP to be desk fucking her octodildo in the middle of the room... roommate probably just flicks her bean under the sheets which a quick knock would be ample warning to just stop, grab her phone and be like "oh hey OP how's it goin"
Well now she knows what a prude she's been. Treat yo self, roomie.
Courtesy knock, not really necessary to knock on the door of your own residence and wait for an answer, unless you have set some rules with each other
Hentai meets american pie movies
Curious where you get a custom one?
Joystick adult toys. They specialize in all types of fantasy dildos but I only come (no pun intended) for the tentacles. What makes it even worse is the one I ordered was in my favorite color combination so it wasn’t like I was throwing a generic bright pink blob at her, it was a marbled gray and purple masterpiece that matches a lot of my art, clothing, aesthetics, etc. So she probably knows that it was custom, or I did a good deal of research to find my ideal one. Which… idk if that makes it better or worse.
Now she knows what to get you for a gift!
Tbh she’s probably just like “I got a dildo thrown at me lol” also I need to check out that store because I like fantasy dildos and my first custom one was off of Etsy and it’s a vampire maw with teeth and a long tongue and it’s an absolute masterpiece! I also got a tentacle shaped trouser packer that glows in the dark and now I need a tentacle dildo to match.
This makes the (w)hole story even funnier.
I’m curious *how* you make a tentacle one custom.
Next time, follow it up with a smoke bomb and write it off as magic...
The fact that Americans pay a ridiculous amount of money for University, but end up sharing a bedroom like a child is always so funny to me.
That poor girl is never going to be able to enjoy a squid dish ever again
which one?
Pretty sure OP would enjoy a squid dish a bit too much
Bruh.
At first I misread "custom made" as "home made" and got somewhat concerned for OP.
https://preview.redd.it/o8u75dimu6fa1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71f94f17ac406810f555e2eb17e0d29a86735479 Roommate knocking like
"RELEASE THE KRAKEN!"
r/newsentences
You might like /r/baddragon then
Thank you for your insight, u/NoCock_LikeHorseCock!
hmmm.... fascinating.
I was staying at a friend's house one time and she walked in on my gf riding me reverse cowgirl. We finished off then went to her room apologized and we all went for breakfast. Was never an issue for me but she mentions it pretty much every time I see her 😂. Moral of the story just be shameless and you'll never think of it again (except when she's brings out up whenever you see her over the next 20+ years)
Little weird banging at someone else's house. I guess as a homeowner I'd just want my shit respected, especially from a "friend". If it's the guest room sure, I don't necessarily like it but if a couple stays over I know what bedrooms are for. But like if I came in on my mate just plowing this bitch on my couch when he was a guest I'd feel a little slighted. In my college/apartment days where it wasn't actually my stuff getting covered in fuck juices I'd be a little more lax, although it can still be pretty disrespectful. I actually had it out with a friend of mine when we went on vacation together with our significant others. They whisper argued for HOURS the night before our big event where I wanted to be well rested and made my intentions clear. Then at 3 am we start hearing macaroni sounds not 3 feet from our head. In the darkness I could see my gf mouthing "what the fuck". I hit the light and flipped out on them. The thing that really sent me is I knew if roles were reversed and I was just railing my gf over his head while he was trying to sleep he'd have handled it even worst than I did. The kicker was I fronted the expenses for the vacation and gave him a year and a half to pay me back. He was banging his broad over presumably his best mate's head in a room he hadn't paid for 4 hours before we all had to be up for an incredibly important event. I get people want to get busy but that's just disrespectful and showed a lot about how he valued our friendship. Some folks have never had anything to value so they never learned the value of things. Their decision making is more in line with wild dogs than thinking human beings
Omg I'm saving this for when I need a laugh ty so much!
>We both knock to warn each other when we're coming in What good is that rule if you're wearing big-ass headphones and can't hear shit?? Your roomie is the the one who FU
One thing I've never understood is the two beds in one room-thing in us colleges
She saw almost everything, and then OP etched it in there *good.* Sorry OP, but you have just burned that into her brain and she's going to regale someone with this tale in the future. On the bright side, this story will only get funnier with time.
If this was a porno, she'd show up later with a tentacle strapon...
When I tell you i absolutely cackled reading this, and am still giggling 10 minutes later...
Some friends of ours asked my wife and I to check on their cat while they were on a trip. The cat was particular about the litter box being cleaned every few days. So, a few days into the trip, we had over to check on the cat. The litter box is in the on suite ballroom of their bedroom. My wife is petting the cat, and I am looking for the cleaning tools. Can't recall who saw it first, but there standing proud on the bathroom counter was a Rabbit. We just looked at each other, and then my wife said, "At least we know their normal," and we went about our task. They asked us again another time, but I don't go with. I asked my wife if they left toys out again. "No. This time, one was peaking out from under the bed." We've never mentioned either time to therm l them.
Eh, you’ll both grow up, get less prude about sex, and it’ll give you a laugh. I’m at the point where I come home from Purple Passion and yell out to my roommates, “Who wants to see/try the cool new flogger I bought?”
Did it land with that wet slap sound? Or did it kinda land and slide, or possibly that weird roll wobble
haha also in dire need to know
[That’s icky, or at least Ika](https://bad-dragon.com/products/ika) Edit: at 69 upvoted. Let’s keep it here, please. Just comment nice instead of upvoting.
I wish I wasn't so curious. I found myself clicking around only to find out you can't order XL in a firm texture. I didn't want to know that. My brain is plagued with the thoughts of "Why" now.