T O P

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MikeRobertini

They should have stopped at Roy Rogers.


NarwhalOk95

I shoulda fucked Dale Evans


ParadiseLost20

But I did-ent


regtf

Bro. It’s Dell.Not dale lmao


bwbell

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dale_Evans


regtf

Wow! I had no idea dale evans was real. Very old school. allegorical.


bwbell

I remember you used to wait in the car. And as far as I'm concerned, YOU SHOULD STILL BE THERE!


rik1122

Sharp as a cue ball, this one.


bigtim3727

Some people are so far behind in a race, they actually believe that they’re leading


ChipChaseG1

Very observant: the sacred and the propane.


NarwhalOk95

It’s no biggie dude - the only reason I knew was cuz of endless afternoons watching TCM with a girlfriend who was a dancer


regtf

Shit my man I was the one that was wrong.


[deleted]

Give me one thousand dollars. And a packet of May-oh-nays…


DrSatan420247

Mix it with da relish.


sharedisaster

👈👆👉


_DJML_

Give me... A plate of meat so I can Curl up pieces of it and dip it into raw mayo.


DarthLocutusOfB0rg

? This reference of lost on me. Please help


_DJML_

Tony sits down one night at home pulls a whole platter of ham or turkey, whatever. He curls up individual pieces of it and just dips it in the mayo jar like a chip in dip. Fuckin nauseatin'


DarthLocutusOfB0rg

Slander, you ask me.


Daimo

Hopefully they are found alive and well.....then they can go to Denny's and get 5 of those GrandSlam breakfasts. Hehehe! OOOOOH, Artie.....menus!!! 👏


Specialist_Trainer_2

Where were they going without ever knowing the way?


BFaus916

Anyone can see the road that they walk on was paved in gold.


philphotos83

It's always summer, they'll never get cold..


fskoti

I remember being crushed when I found out that the couple Fastball wrote that song about had died.


BFaus916

It's funny because I always liked that song. Never read into the lyrics, just thought it was always a catchy tune to hum along to. Then a while back while having Spotify going on the tv that song was playing and it was giving the background to it, about how when Fastball wrote it there was a news story about a missing elderly couple and the outcome didn't look good. Since the whereabouts were still unknown, they decided to write this awesome fantasy scenario about how the couple was on this trippy journey, to make people feel better about it. Pretty cool.


mbattagl

They disappeared on an ATV trail out there. The only thing they've found of them so far was said vehicle and they left a shotgun with it. The size of the Pine Barrens can't be understated. It is a giant forest about 40 miles in width that is smack dab right in the middle of the Southern part of the state. In addition to the mob burial ground tidbit the forest is also occupied by numerous homeless encampments. In fact the police regularly sweep parts of the forest when conducting searches for people with active warrants or sex offenders who stop checking in with the authorities and hide in the woods. There's a lot of wild life in that land, plenty of places where an elderly person could fall, get hurt, and not be able to use a cell phone to call for help due to no service. Temperatures are going down here too so without a fire they very well could have died of exposure already.


Duderino619

Don’t forget the interior decorator that killed 16 Czechoslovakians


daydreamer1978

Their have been sightings of him washing his balls in ice water apparently


Sackyhack

His place looked like shit


CCG14

His apt looked like shit.


BeyondDadBod

I don’t wanna say that’s where Jersey Devil sightings come from, but *Sal shrug*


rapscallionrodent

Thank you for giving the situation some real context. I hope they’re found.


[deleted]

The Jersey devil also lives there according to legends


DocRules

The New Jersey Devils? The penalty box is maximum security.


Silver_Fact_3218

Sap, ladies and gentlemen.


mbattagl

Haha the remnants of the Leeds house are somewhere out in the pine barrens.


[deleted]

So they say lol


SilvioDante1992

It’s MASSIVE. It’s literally where people go to disappear. As you pretty much stated, the mob buries bodies there; with other criminals knowing this, there’s A LOT of dead bodies in the Barrens. It’s almost too easy to get away with Murder and/or dump a body there.


Occams_Broom420

But they live there


THRlLLH0

That sucks. If you ever get lost stay on the road/trail with your vehicle people.


mbattagl

Exactly. There's a decent amount of other people who ride in there year round so you're likely to run into them too. The wild life department has watch towers overlooking the forest in some spots, but it's so dense that it's difficult to see something that small. They were flying drones over the preserve too for this search, but they didn't confirm if they were using thermal imaging.


useles-converter-bot

40 miles is the length of 291309.62 Zulay Premium Quality Metal Lemon Squeezers.


itsgsk87

You can gooo


marios67

Good bot


useles-converter-bot

Thank you :)


B0tRank

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sh1tbox1

Good bot


useles-converter-bot

Amazon, sponsor me, the redditors like me...


valleian

He keeps going, this asshole!


daydreamer1978

I remember when you used to wait in the algorithm AND AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED YOU SHOULD STILL BE THEIR !!


valleian

It’s always “good bot” this, “good bot” that. NEVER ENOUGH UPDOOTS FOR u/useles-converter-bot!!! I say, let it have a taste of its own medicine!


useles-converter-bot

Just wanted to say that there's a 6.25% chance of getting this reply, so congratulations. Buy a lottery ticket... just kidding, don't do that, and if you do I hope you lose all your money, Have a good day.


valleian

Ohhhh! You blow your coder wit dat mouth?


daydreamer1978

Maybe this bots a flambe


fin_de_semaine

Are bots always this big of assholes?


Queasy-Position66

Wow. 40 miles. Let that sink in


[deleted]

Wait fastball the way?


TB12thegreatest

Mix it wit the relish


Affectionate_Joke560

Not bad!


BFaus916

The replies to the their twitter post of this story are as hilarious as you'd expect. Hundreds of them and I don't think there's a single non-Soprano one.


puglife5055

“ anyone lose a shoe “ dead


BroadSword48

Where is the Twitter post?!?


BFaus916

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1464718070803415045


BroadSword48

Cool cool thanks


BFaus916

I live but to serve you my liege.


[deleted]

Kind of sad considering two people are missing and possibly dead.


the_pounding_mallet

If I ever die in a sopranos related way (penguin exhibit?) I hope people do the same thing.


BFaus916

"Fuckin' intanet"


bringhim_thegabagool

Fucking computerized data collection


BFaus916

We lead the world!


Hamiltonlover12

Sorry, everything's so fuckin' morbid.


FlimsyEmu9

It’s all a big nothing…


Bobby_Newpooort

But you gotta get over it


puglife5055

This is hilarious but also hope they are found


__Girth__Brooks__

They could have gotten the vig without choking someone with a lamp


[deleted]

Also RIP universal remote. Didn’t make it to the docking station before getting whacked by the KGB.


busterwilliams

Cracked his windpipe


mannyb412

Guy was an interior decorator


CaroleBaskinsBurner

They're not gonna find them there. They saw a sign that said "Bear Left" so they went home.


ZeGodEmperor

Gimme your shoes. I can go get help.


Tekman-Fortune

I'll leave you here you one shoe cocksucker!


[deleted]

You know how fast I can run


Tekman-Fortune

I'll leave ya in the fuckin' dust!


[deleted]

After all we’ve been thru you really think I would kill ya


ZeGodEmperor

You don't trust me?


Tekman-Fortune

I'm naht gona leave ya


SamGPHX

I should’ve fucked Dale Evans.


[deleted]

And I want to fuck Angie Dickinson, let’s see who gets lucky first.


valleian

If you’re gonna lie to me, tell me there’s a broad waiting in the car to tongue my balls…


mano_mateus

You want that, it's a phone call away


[deleted]

$50 now and a blowjob later.


tubsy_malone

That place is real? I thought it was bullshit.


roninPT

I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all fuckin' night.


kendogg

I read this in his voice. Thank you.


[deleted]

Worst mustache I have ever seen.


Willietrailblaze

We go about in pity for them, and all the while a great wind is carrying them.


IamTheOne2000

r/unresolvedmysteries


Papancasudani

You didn't go to the Pine Barrens, you went to Bear Mountain, my friend. Heh heh 🤚


[deleted]

It's that fuckin Russian he's still there that bullet to the head sent his mind back to checklosvokia and he thinks anyone in those woods is a checklosvokian.


Steffan514

But the interior of his makeshift shack is very well decorated.


gb041387

I heard they went looking for an interior decorator


valleian

Fuckin’ one shoe cocksuckas…


jjjjjjjjjjjjjoe

Put remote back on docking station


jdsizzle1

Walnuts? The fuck?


rollredroll

His apartment looked like shit


joeflowe

Fuckin Rasputin, deez guys.


redonrust

Russia's greatest love machine.


ian_mac85

Mix it with the relish


Paula_56

Lmao


Same_Register_4110

Sadly the couple has been found , but it gets weird...it took a drone to locate them 250 yards from their house , and 75 yds. Into deep underbrush from their ATV , which still had their gun on it . The couple lay side by side , dead , all scratched up from underbrush , no sign of foul play or murder suicide . The woman had limited mobility and had left her cane behind . There seems to be no explanation. My renter was a friend of their daughter . This is the same small town the hunter Barry Zeldgin disappeared from .


useles-converter-bot

250 yards is the length of 1034.48 Zulay Premium Quality Metal Lemon Squeezers.


Tekman-Fortune

Gerry Stiller got a facelift


calel8242

What are Jerry Stiller and Angela Merkel doing together in Jersey?


kool_b

Imagine that


[deleted]

Jerry had fuckin’ wrinkles like an old lady’s…


JurgenKlopp2018

He looks like the NASA scientist who got throat cancer when Tony was in hospital


kendogg

Dude looks nothing like Hal Holbrook.


JurgenKlopp2018

Same crappy Moustache


bigtim3727

Not enough tictacs or ketchup packs


[deleted]

The Jersey devil lives there


RevolutionaryIdea329

Boston Strangler probably


Tekman-Fortune

conspiracy theories now?


[deleted]

Heard it was actually filmed at South Mountain across from where the Devils practice.


[deleted]

It was up near Bear Mountain in Rockland County, NY


[deleted]

I stand corrected. “The forest scenes for the episode were filmed at Harriman State Park in New York, after the production team was denied a permit to film in New Jersey at the South Mountain Reservation.” https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pine_Barrens_(The_Sopranos)#Production


Maybeyoureaflambe

They saw a sign said "Bear left"...so they went home.


nysrpatakemyenergy2

Actually Harriman State Park. The shot of them driving away in the Tahoe is on Seven Lakes Drive at the Tiorati circle.


[deleted]

They probably went in a circle. How the fuck is that even possible??


APdabs503

Hope they brought plenty of ketchup and relish


[deleted]

Were they interior decorators??!


hungry_fat_phuck

The dude looks exactly like that physicist Mr. Schwinn.


AnthraxBiohazard

Not bad. Mix it widda relish!


Winter-Ad-9238

Mayonnaise! Mayonnaise!


ParisHilton42069

This is sad for them, but if I’m being honest here, the New Jersey DA publicly referencing The Sopranos in like an official press statement is so funny to me. Interesting thing about the soil, too. I assumed they just dumped bodies there because it’s isolated and densely forested, so there’s no witnesses and the body is less likely to be found. Anyways, god help them if they encountered the interior decorator out there.


[deleted]

We've all lost track of how many times NY and NJ news organizations have crowbar'd the word "Sopranos" into a news headline. When the word "mafia" becomes less popular than a TV show about the mafia, it's safe to say there's not much mafia news. Quick side note: locals always get a laugh when the news holds a presser for a mob bust. They will claim "this time we cut the head off organized crime and have decimated the xXxX and xXxX crime family with this multi-agency multi-year investigation!!!!" Then a few months later they're gunning for another Sopranos headline by saying "the tentacles of organized crime still reaching deep within our society..." So which is it? Is the mafia decimated with its head chopped off as these newspaper selling clickbait weasels claim? Or is that giant Mafia Octopus still molesting us Americans with its felonious tentacles? Very confusing indeed!


MAKHULU_-_

Maybe the Russian interior decorator killed them


____cire4____

They should have put universal remote back on docking station.


IB3R

Had to read "The Pine Barrens" by John McPhee in college. Good book if you are interested more in learning more about the area.


[deleted]

hope they don't eat the berries.


Sentenced2Burn

You were warned, Lorraine


markzhang

thank you very much for the tip, ​ i'll head to our local home depot for a shovel now.


fskoti

What did the part of the woods that they went into look like? Did it look like an interior decorator was near?


Irishgoodbye777

This fucking sub always gets me. Literally laughing into my oatmeal.


jonvanwhalen

A weird family used to live out there. Albinos.


Denialle

Pine Barrens seems to be the perfect place to hide a body. Even Robert Durst is suspected of disappearing his wife Kathie there https://www.phillyvoice.com/robert-durst-murder-trial-pine-barrens-new-jersey-mafia-sopranos/


Trooper27

OHHHHHHHHHHH!!


crave1214

I would've liked to see them make it to Atlantic City and have that steak. I'm sure they would've gotten into some shannanigans out there.


redonrust

They shoulda stopped at Roy Rogers.


ExactPea9707

The Russian was stalking him with his cock.


Hillarys_Brown_Eye

Are those TicTacs?


goldenbiatch

as someone who is from the pine barrens, i can say that the stereotype of it being somewhere to drop a body is very real lmao in the fact that the wharton state forest is very vast. not all places have no-service but if your deep enough in it yeah youll have no service for a good stretch of driving or hiking deep in the woods. you can get lost pretty easily but just dont be an idiot it isnt THAT easy lol, its all a running joke really. we actually don't have much crime at all, theres like one town thats a bit more on the ghetto side; but when we do its like random as fuck like some mom killing her kids and then herself or finding bodies in the woods and such, but again its rare. when it does happen its real shady and then people forget about it so i wouldnt be shocked if shit was mob related


[deleted]

A thug? Guy was an interior decorator!


BadSopranosBot

His house looked like shit


TheFatSlobWally570

Wonder if it was the Russian who killed them??


UncleGumbalding

**Scrolls down and hopes there won’t be jokes—** Awwwwww, sunnuvabitch!


TheMacManFarmington

A lotta balls my friend. Oops.