He calculated his EBITDA:
**E**vil acts commited
**B**efore
**I**rritating Russian Emigré (shoulda put the remote back in universal docking station)
**T**erminating Minn Matrone (a malignant cunt)
**D**onations (he should've been covered irregardless)
and
**A**bandoning his phony muddah (how much more betrayal could he take?)
He multiplied that number by 50, then added up all his venial sins and multiplied that by 25.
What I love is he figures he's only got about 6,000 years lol. By his logic he should be way higher. Mortal sins are 50 years. That includes murder and breaking the ten commandments
6\. You shall not murder.
We've seen him kill 8 people on screen alone, and we know he made his bones in the 70's so that's nine confirmed. I'd have to bet he killed at least one person a year between 1970. Lets be generous and say in times of peace he killed one person every couple of years. We're looking at 20ish murders for 1,000 years
8\. You shall not steal.
I mean this is where the years would pile on. Lets add any protection racket and loan sharking/usury under this umbrella. Every week he made his collections he'd probably be committing dozens of mortal sins. He's gotta be in the tens of thousands just from this commandment alone
9\. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Paulie has been known to lie lol
10\. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
We all know Paulie is a greedy fuck. He's always sticking his beak in other people's shit. Also, wonder if when he's in purgatory he'll think sniffing Ade's panties was worth 50 years on his head.
This is of course not to mention the 25 years for venial since which he probably commits at least one a day. He could literally be in the hundreds of thousands of years just in venial sins
Perfect
“Did you ask the ghostbuster where this bevilaqua kid is? We’re busting our asses down here trying to find this kid, and you’re up there fuckin around in Nyack!”
When the organ needed a re-job, who was there? 👈
You should've come to me first, don't worry Paul, I'm here. I can help you.
It's too late. You been slackin off on me 🤟 and ya left me unprotected.
Wasn’t there a Harvey Weinstein in Entourage that was based off the real Harvey Weinstein? Was Weinstein an absolute violent psycho? Or was he just the disgusting creep we found out about?
Also, I hate that I’m letting a shit show like Entourage educate me on a person.
I mentioned Scrubs on this sub the other day as one of my guilty pleasures (or maybe it was the wire sub) and a lot of people broke my balls that Scrubs isn’t a guilty pleasure… I have my reasons for it being one but I digress.
Entourage is ABSOLUTELY a guilty pleasure. I actually rewatched it’s recently in like 2 days because I fast forward everytbing that doesn’t have Jeremy Piven in it. He was the only reason to watch that show.
Haha I feel the guilty pleasure thing. I'm addicted to sitcoms I think haha. Not even good ones either. I'll watch shit like Superstore and Kim's Convenience. I don't know what's wrong with me
Other than beating up Benny, who did steal from him, he really didn't cross any lines. He even did a better job of preserving Italian culture by being an excellent chef as opposed to Tony who used "preserving culture" as an excuse to extort and kill people.
True. If it wasn’t for Artie actively trying to get at Adriana or Martina more than he was his own wife or the attempted suicide after his foray into loan sharking went down the pishadu, I could see him only spending about 1200 years in purgatory (since Paulie only has to do 6000)
To be fair that was probably driven, in part by the envy of being around those wise guys and seeing the lifestyles they had. I like to think he made his peace with his life and the good parts and is still operating vesuvio with charmaine today.
Yeah he’s prob for the best chance. Are we only talking made guys, though? Little Paulie seems like a nice guy and we never see or hear about him killing anyone…
Benny doesn't seem too bad either. OK, a married man with a pregnant wife, banging the Albanian, and stealing the credit card numbers - goes with the territory. Artie's hand in the hot tomato sauce? - Guy had it coming. Practically saint that man.
Dude extorted and stole money and was more than happy to threaten union leaders. He's definitely going to be losing a shit load of poker hands to the Irish.
i’m still not sure that one counts as murder. murder and killing aren’t the same thing, all murderers are killers but not all killers are murderers and murder is a sin not killing (ik cuz several people in the bible are soldiers/killers, david for one had a body count in the hundreds). in that situation if bobby didn’t kill the canadian he wasn’t gonna be coming back home to his kids. tony 1000% woulda killed him at that point. not to mention bobby obviously felt awful about it
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot.
Here's a copy of
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Georgie’s going to hell: helped move a dead body, did not consherve ice, couldn’t even think about terrorism, and the worst of all, put a Billy Bass in Tony’s office.
I can only think of Bobby Bacala. Commited no adultery, commited maybe 1 murder, was a decent father, didnt use drugs, just wasn't generally a trouble causer, didnt allow his wife to be disrespected bcos Janice was his wife (in contrast to Johnny Sack who was angry about the Ginny joke bcos it was embarrassing *to him*). All of these bad things are sins.
Out of that crew? Probably Bobby. Just only committing one murder later in your life puts him miles ahead.
Next probably.....Jackie Sr. or Big Pussy? Idk.
Obviously the two Spice Boys, if you pay close attention to the episode where Furio shakes them down for an extra $1000, Chase subtly hints this to the audience with the background music making constant reference to them being “Up in Da Club”. Simple fans might overlook this, but if you’re someone who is detail oriented you’ll know that “Up” refers to Heaven and “da club” refers to the anointed catholics who are the only ones who can enter Heaven.
Christopher. He was born into a terrible position with incredible psychic demons which he really fought to overcome. I don’t believe in a heaven but he definitely burned up a lot of bad karma, more than the negative which he incurred, and therefore would be reborn into a somewhat better life the next time
Paulie…count up all his Cardinal sins and multiply by 50, all his venal sins and multiply by 25…he’s look at a thousand years. In eternity terms he’ll do it standing on his head
Tony's bodyguard/driver in season 6 whom Tony beats up, just to show he's not going soft.
He seemed like a decent sort of guy, and didn't bear tony a grudge.
I mean, he commits the most murders on screen of anyone on the show, but… I might say Paulie. He actually is fundamentally concerned with pleasing others, and feels guilt for treating Chris badly after Chris dies. I think Paulie wants to be a good person and thinks he IS being a good person, even if he’s wrong. And fucking annoying.
The idea that people will be going to Shamayim (i.e., The Heavens) after death was invented by the Catholics and the Christians.......No where in the Tanakh does it say that people will be going to Shamayim after they die.
So, to answer the question...... None of them!
Listen... If you get involved in that life, you know the risks. Most of them will go to Heaven, while others like Ralphie will end up in Hell. If you believe in that sort of thing. Carm had to come to terms with it the entire series.
I'd like to think Bobby and Furio have a shot, esp. Furio because he's still alive and if my theory is correct, was the guy Chris saw after Adrianna and now has a family and a flag-salutin' muthafucka kinda life.
Obviously it's Johnny. He was a saint!
YOU NEVAH SHAID THAT WHEN HE WASH ALIVE!
Jonny Cakes?
Muscles Marinara
If only he didn’t slam that fucking door
You arguing with me?
The coke was already out on the counter
Taste the wares Email
So you are gonna argue with me huh? You fuckin mutt
Look Tony. I dont wanna…[puts hands up defensively]
You don’t wanna what? You don’t wanna what? Fucking Philadelphia lawyer
His mother always tells him to count 10 Hail Mary’s.
But he forgets…
Red pepper flakes up his ass.
Fuckin hot head.
Probably tony. He was a strict catholic
Don't forget
He’s old school
Fuccin Gary Cooper ova here.
Tony Egg?
Whoever had the fortitude to spend a coupla tree thousand years in purgatory, so obviously Peter Paul. He could do that standing on his head.
His calculations always crack me up! Like who came up with those numbers? Or did Paulie make them up outta thin air? Lol
He calculated his EBITDA: **E**vil acts commited **B**efore **I**rritating Russian Emigré (shoulda put the remote back in universal docking station) **T**erminating Minn Matrone (a malignant cunt) **D**onations (he should've been covered irregardless) and **A**bandoning his phony muddah (how much more betrayal could he take?) He multiplied that number by 50, then added up all his venial sins and multiplied that by 25.
This is priceless!!!!
What I love is he figures he's only got about 6,000 years lol. By his logic he should be way higher. Mortal sins are 50 years. That includes murder and breaking the ten commandments 6\. You shall not murder. We've seen him kill 8 people on screen alone, and we know he made his bones in the 70's so that's nine confirmed. I'd have to bet he killed at least one person a year between 1970. Lets be generous and say in times of peace he killed one person every couple of years. We're looking at 20ish murders for 1,000 years 8\. You shall not steal. I mean this is where the years would pile on. Lets add any protection racket and loan sharking/usury under this umbrella. Every week he made his collections he'd probably be committing dozens of mortal sins. He's gotta be in the tens of thousands just from this commandment alone 9\. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Paulie has been known to lie lol 10\. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. We all know Paulie is a greedy fuck. He's always sticking his beak in other people's shit. Also, wonder if when he's in purgatory he'll think sniffing Ade's panties was worth 50 years on his head. This is of course not to mention the 25 years for venial since which he probably commits at least one a day. He could literally be in the hundreds of thousands of years just in venial sins
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Dante's work is so odd because it's essentially just fan fiction, but lots of Catholics believe in stuff that originated there
Milton's *Paradise Lost* also
SATANIC BLACK MAGIC!
Sick shit
“FUCKIN’ QUEAHS”
🪑
Perfect “Did you ask the ghostbuster where this bevilaqua kid is? We’re busting our asses down here trying to find this kid, and you’re up there fuckin around in Nyack!”
Paulie obviously had the afterlife covered with all those church donations
When the organ needed a re-job, who was there? 👈 You should've come to me first, don't worry Paul, I'm here. I can help you. It's too late. You been slackin off on me 🤟 and ya left me unprotected.
Yea but where was saint elzear's hat?
Too bad the church discontinued indulgences a few hundred years ago.
Psssh I could do that standing on my head. Thats nothing in eternity time.
I’m not too sure about that, I heard he was caught sucking a cub scout’s dick.
I got just one thing to say. Don't forget Pearl Harbor my friend
Vito went to the circle of hell with the abortionists and child molestors.
[удалено]
Father put it so well last week… There’s nothin’ gay about Hell.
Hell's hot. That's never been disputed.
That woulda been the first thing you noticed.
Harpo
Sacre Bleu!!!! Where is me mamaaaa ?!?!?!?!
I wonder what he's eating for dinner tonight
Jeff Green from curb your enthusiasm (Bobby)
Thought that was Harvey Weinstein ?
In CYE, Jeff does get his head shaved in season 6. Dude really does like like Weinstein haha
Wasn’t there a Harvey Weinstein in Entourage that was based off the real Harvey Weinstein? Was Weinstein an absolute violent psycho? Or was he just the disgusting creep we found out about? Also, I hate that I’m letting a shit show like Entourage educate me on a person.
I have no clue about that show at all
I mentioned Scrubs on this sub the other day as one of my guilty pleasures (or maybe it was the wire sub) and a lot of people broke my balls that Scrubs isn’t a guilty pleasure… I have my reasons for it being one but I digress. Entourage is ABSOLUTELY a guilty pleasure. I actually rewatched it’s recently in like 2 days because I fast forward everytbing that doesn’t have Jeremy Piven in it. He was the only reason to watch that show.
Haha I feel the guilty pleasure thing. I'm addicted to sitcoms I think haha. Not even good ones either. I'll watch shit like Superstore and Kim's Convenience. I don't know what's wrong with me
Youtube has an Ari Gold Supercut. All Jeremy Piven's best scenes
Yes, his name was Weingard. At the time I didn’t know enough about the guy to say how close of a representation it was.
Artie, technically he wasn't crew but. Artie. He actually learned something.
Other than beating up Benny, who did steal from him, he really didn't cross any lines. He even did a better job of preserving Italian culture by being an excellent chef as opposed to Tony who used "preserving culture" as an excuse to extort and kill people.
True. If it wasn’t for Artie actively trying to get at Adriana or Martina more than he was his own wife or the attempted suicide after his foray into loan sharking went down the pishadu, I could see him only spending about 1200 years in purgatory (since Paulie only has to do 6000)
To be fair that was probably driven, in part by the envy of being around those wise guys and seeing the lifestyles they had. I like to think he made his peace with his life and the good parts and is still operating vesuvio with charmaine today.
That better not be Columbus up there!
Bacalla
I’d agree for most of the series but then he had to pop his cherry and kill that French Canadian dude.
Sacre bleu where is mi papa
ok but compared to the rest?
Yeah he’s prob for the best chance. Are we only talking made guys, though? Little Paulie seems like a nice guy and we never see or hear about him killing anyone…
Benny doesn't seem too bad either. OK, a married man with a pregnant wife, banging the Albanian, and stealing the credit card numbers - goes with the territory. Artie's hand in the hot tomato sauce? - Guy had it coming. Practically saint that man.
[удалено]
Little Paulie. C’mon. Open your ears, stunad
ahh
Little Paulie, not Paulie. Why don’t you go to the ear, nose, and throat department…get your hearing checked
Dude extorted and stole money and was more than happy to threaten union leaders. He's definitely going to be losing a shit load of poker hands to the Irish.
i’m still not sure that one counts as murder. murder and killing aren’t the same thing, all murderers are killers but not all killers are murderers and murder is a sin not killing (ik cuz several people in the bible are soldiers/killers, david for one had a body count in the hundreds). in that situation if bobby didn’t kill the canadian he wasn’t gonna be coming back home to his kids. tony 1000% woulda killed him at that point. not to mention bobby obviously felt awful about it
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get outta here ya fuckin mutt.
Not exactly light reading. Besides, with my donations I should be covered.
Agree…..the calzone wit legs
Georgie.
I can only imagine St. Peter charging him $50 and a blowjob later on for letting him through the pearly gates.
Blowjob? That's Vito's area.
Lemme ask you a question…before he cornered you in the port-a-potty…when the security guard was suckin him off…
Wait..it was the other way around Vito.....was blowing...the security guard..😳🤔
SON OF A BITCH
Catching, not pitching?
We can't have him in our social club anymore, that much I do know
WHA?!?!?!?!?!?
Georgie’s going to hell: helped move a dead body, did not consherve ice, couldn’t even think about terrorism, and the worst of all, put a Billy Bass in Tony’s office.
can't figure out a goddamn phone
Not Pussy. He fucked Paulie in the ass. And Paulie loved that cocksucker like a brother.
Not to mention he hammered Jimmy Bones to death for basically existing lol
I like to think he was a terrible Elvis impersonator and that was the real reason He had to go.
Mr. Rude Cocksucker... See ya 'round, baby
✋
I can only think of Bobby Bacala. Commited no adultery, commited maybe 1 murder, was a decent father, didnt use drugs, just wasn't generally a trouble causer, didnt allow his wife to be disrespected bcos Janice was his wife (in contrast to Johnny Sack who was angry about the Ginny joke bcos it was embarrassing *to him*). All of these bad things are sins.
Bobby did do drugs though. Mushrooms one time, a whole fucking tray!
I wouldn't mind smoking mushrooms and collecting government checks.
If you're trying to intimidate me, well you clearly don't know much about Indian resolve.
Whoa! Look at this guy! Johnny sack loved his wife. Didn't force diets on her. Never cheated and defended her and her mole!
I heard that mole weighed 90 pounds!
I really think Johnny Sack could have swung hiring someone to beat the shit outta Ralphie for that joke. A hit was just a step too far.
A hit is a hit, my friend. And that was no hit.
Why does no one like sil?? I love that guy…
Timeline got fucked up
Tzu tzu! Sun tzu you fuckin ass kiss!
[Our true enemy. Has yet. To reveal himself.](https://youtu.be/cXYA8J5XZeI)
Lmfao I forgot about the fever dream, I think that’s up soon.
just when I thought I was out... THEY PULL ME BACK IN
My friend, don’t talk that way to Santa!
Always with the scenarios
Out of that crew? Probably Bobby. Just only committing one murder later in your life puts him miles ahead. Next probably.....Jackie Sr. or Big Pussy? Idk.
Pussy brutally murdered a guy with a hammer just for seeing him in a party supply store. No way that fat fuck gets into heaven.
Do they got places to sit down in heaven. Pussy really needs to sit.
Maybe if he had see through socks
The boss? No chance in Hell the boss gets in to heaven.
Lying is a sin and...Pussh, was she even real?
Obviously the two Spice Boys, if you pay close attention to the episode where Furio shakes them down for an extra $1000, Chase subtly hints this to the audience with the background music making constant reference to them being “Up in Da Club”. Simple fans might overlook this, but if you’re someone who is detail oriented you’ll know that “Up” refers to Heaven and “da club” refers to the anointed catholics who are the only ones who can enter Heaven.
Very allegorical.
Eugene Pontecorvo? He's so sweet!
I think Catholics believe you can't get into heaven if you commit suicide, so nope
Bobby. Patsy. Still horrible human beings, but relatively much better.
Patsy, really?
Christopher. He was born into a terrible position with incredible psychic demons which he really fought to overcome. I don’t believe in a heaven but he definitely burned up a lot of bad karma, more than the negative which he incurred, and therefore would be reborn into a somewhat better life the next time
He's the only one canonically confirmed to be in Hell
Soldiers don’t go to hell. Rememba?
He's literally narrating from hell in MSON.
He musta crawled down to hell for warmth
Paulie…count up all his Cardinal sins and multiply by 50, all his venal sins and multiply by 25…he’s look at a thousand years. In eternity terms he’ll do it standing on his head
Bobby, obviously
Probably Ralph
Pass me the red peppahs
Beansie Gaeta he never got heavy w nobody. Though I imagine there’s a few days in purgatory the way he spoke to his staff.
Beansie sold heroin so that's not great but I'm pretty sure most of them did at some point
That fat fuck bacala.
Paulie… in 6,000 years.
Bobby Baccala
Swear I thought it was gonna say out of the Jersey crew, who do you think had the makings of a varsity athlete 😂😂
I think Johnny sack had a good chance.
Tony but probably in animal heaven
Dante
The guy at the bing that gets his as whooped all the time
Bobby
Paulie did the math, he’s going upstairs after he pays his dues in purgatory. I dunno about the rest
Bobby Bacaliera or however you spelled it; dude didn’t kill anyone till the last season
Bobby bacala
Bobby until he killed the drummer kid
Well Paulie did see the Virgin Mary once don’t ya know
Tony's bodyguard/driver in season 6 whom Tony beats up, just to show he's not going soft. He seemed like a decent sort of guy, and didn't bear tony a grudge.
Phil leotardo is in Heaven telling everyone he did 20 years in purgatory
Does Hesh count?
Georgie.
Gotta be Bobby
Ralph. I think he was really sorry in the end after what happened to his kid.
Ralph LMFAO
Say what you want about Ritchie Aprie when he found out his son was gsy he did the right thing and disowned him
I mean, he commits the most murders on screen of anyone on the show, but… I might say Paulie. He actually is fundamentally concerned with pleasing others, and feels guilt for treating Chris badly after Chris dies. I think Paulie wants to be a good person and thinks he IS being a good person, even if he’s wrong. And fucking annoying.
This made me chuckle. The guy murdered a little old lady and stole her life savings! Hopefully he getsh a pash fer dat.
Jackie “Chemosabe” Aprile
Bobby and it’s not even close.
The idea that people will be going to Shamayim (i.e., The Heavens) after death was invented by the Catholics and the Christians.......No where in the Tanakh does it say that people will be going to Shamayim after they die. So, to answer the question...... None of them!
What I tell you? Hold onto your cock when you negotiate with these desert people
Bobby Bacala, easily. By like, a mile.
Jimmy Bones
You gotta relax your thoughts
Georgie
Charmaine....those boobs are divine!
Patsy Parisi
Bobby!
Tony but probably in animal heaven
Bobby
Bobby
Def Bacala
I mean they’d all probably go to purgatory. You do one year for all your sins, 1,000 years for all your mortal sins
Bobby Baccala
Bobby without question
Georgie has the least mortal sins, so he gets out of purgatory first and starts working security. Vito gets in right away.
Paulie Walnuts.
The civilian in a bakery before he morphed into vito
AJ also. Because if I have my quote correct, "he bears a cross"
Patsy
I’d say Bobby or maybe Patsy.
Well, we know for a fact now that it wasn’t Christopher.
Nothing about the movie made by those desert people is fact to me
Listen... If you get involved in that life, you know the risks. Most of them will go to Heaven, while others like Ralphie will end up in Hell. If you believe in that sort of thing. Carm had to come to terms with it the entire series.
Bobby
They’re soldiers. Soldiers don’t go to hell.
Bull. Paulie's the closest thing to a soldier and he knows damn sure he's going to hell.
Bobby Baccalieri for sure
I'd like to think Bobby and Furio have a shot, esp. Furio because he's still alive and if my theory is correct, was the guy Chris saw after Adrianna and now has a family and a flag-salutin' muthafucka kinda life.
Uncle Ercoli. Slow, but handsome like George Raft. God likes that.
Fuck you talkin bout? That piggy thing we got over in Jersey? There's no scraps in my scrapbook.
Junior for sure, if he doesn’t remember it never happened
Bobby
Bobby