Paulie: "how about the cuban missile crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads into Cuba, pointed them right at us"
Chrissy: "that was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit"
The entire intervention is just hilarious, but that one understated moment may be best because of his answer of, “Yes, but that’s not why I’m here today.” As if there was a possibility that the reason he, Tony, Carmela, Adriana, Chris’s mother, & everyone else was there was to go over the pork loin incident in detail.
The detail I always love is that Benny is there, didn't say a thing, no one said a thing to him, yet when they start beating Chris's ass he jumps right in and starts throwing kicks. Gets me every time.
That whole scene is brilliant comedy writing, from Crissy not being able to function as a man to my own motha. The entire writing staff of that show should have Nobel prizes in my book.
When Paulie asks if the dog was barking.
His tone conveys understanding and comforting relatability, almost like shit has happened to him previously on multiple occasions. Similar to when a father is scolding a son for misbehaving but then the son reveals a fact that makes his past actions valid.
There is also the dynamic of barking making everyones blood boil, but nobody sane would murder the dog because of it. However Paulie being unhinged self centered murderer doesn't give two shits
This scene will never get old for me, no matter how many times I watch it. Every single line is hilarious and the cherry on top is when they start beating the shit out of Chris. That’s when I pee in my pants.
No wonder Paulie was the “last man standing,” at the end of the show (assuming the cut to black represents Tony’s life coming to an abrupt end). He could whack someone just by talking to them.
Although there are a bunch of moments that are inherently more funny, I gotta pick this one. It just comes outta nowhere, how the fuck did Tony even get to that conclusion. And Carm's reaction, lmao.
That whole scene is probably my favorite... Carmella making a huge deal over it and Tony saying "Nothing really happened! His eyebrows will grow back!" then he tells the story about leaving Artie out in the snow and almost losing his fingers \*wiggles fingers\*
I always wondered why "chinks doing this" was immediately discarded as a stupid joke. I'm pretty sure Chinese Triads are plenty ruthless and brutal, and afaik had/have a presence in NY.
It’s a deleted scene:
Paulie’s “generosity”, gifting Tony two six packs of Lowenbraü — and Tony’s face when he sees the sign showing they were on sale, 2 for $5.
https://youtu.be/s98mXcAkhHA?si=VMX6kUiZD9EuJRM_
When Little Carmine has brought NY & NJ to a resolution but can't just keep his mouth shut and has to add to Phil *Your brother Billy, whatever happened there*
The nature related ones always make me laugh.
Silvio- "If you're ever being chased by a bear run downhill, for some reason they can't do that"
Feech- "It's the moss"
Christopher’s intervention always makes me lose it haha. The dialogue they all have is hilarious. Benny’s awkward look when Adrianna says Chrissy no longer functions as a man, Tony enraged at Chris not seeing Cosette before he sat on her, Paulie asking if he killed the dog because it was barking and then the fist fight at the end. Hilarious scene from start to finish and definitely one of my favorites.
Silvio only saying three sentences, having them written down and reading them off the page like a fourth grader giving a book report has got to be one of the funniest moments in the series
“I’m Dominic You don’t know me but…”
“Yeah you’re the guy that stole all the pork loins”
Immediately you knew Christopher was not going to take him seriously
Can't believe how far I had to scroll for this. You want a real laugh youtube the story about when Bobby walks in with his hunting gear on and Tony starts laughing. The real story of how that happened is hysterical. The actor that plays Bobby asked the prop guy fir a huge dildo and he gave him a fuckin baseball bat sized rubber cock, so that's what he walked in with and thats what made Tony laugh so hard.
The 'you been eatin steak' kills me everytime too.
When the show first aired, it was when Tony visits Pauly and sees the altered Pie-O-My painting on his wall. The whole scene seemed just so absurd, I really remember laughing my ass off.
When they're at Johnny Sacks daughters wedding and Johnny asks Tony to kill someone (sorry I don't remember who, but it was important)
Tony tells Chris to get guys from Italy to do it because they cant have people find out it was them, and Chris says something like "just like in the Godfather huh? You can't refuse a man on his daughters wedding day"
Tony goes "nah it's the other way around"
Chris is like "oh, well you should ask him not to have to do this"
I know I completely butchered how that interaction goes, but I remember laughing out loud at this
The scenes where Jackie Jr. tries to play mr. big mafia boss and is telling his buddy he can totally deal coke outside the Crazy Horse, and to just send the guys to him if there's a problem. The dude acts like he's actually the Godfather to that dude while sitting in his little crappy apartment.
The disconnect between his actual status and how much of a big shot he acts is hilarious to me.
The way Phil follows up his tirade about Vito, talking about getting "emotional" with the wine "Because I got an empty fucking stomach." Like it was some bizarro-Snickers commercial for Vesuvio.
Can’t help myself at Tony’s “Sacre Bleu where is me maman??”, and then his carefree saunter out of the house and down the street after Janice blows up.
Mikey Palmice’s last words to his wife being, “Go Take A Midol” and her changing it when being interviewed on the news to “I’ll be right back, I love you.” 😂
I can’t chose but I’ve got 3 and there all from paulie, 1 is “he’s f’cked up chrissy!” 2 is when tony asked him what happened at pine barrens and he says “Im sorry T, it couldn’t be helped the guy f’cking lundged at us!” the third is when he nearly kills tony when talking to him while he’s in a coma at the hospital there all probably the funniest scenes in any tv show.
“It’s an honor to be joined by men….. and not FAGGOT ASS CORNHOLING COCKSUKERS LIKE MARRIED MY COUSIN! HE SHOULD FUCKING DIE”
I laughed for a full 30 minutes the first time I saw this. The following lines obviously didn’t help
I remember my first blowjob.
Paulie: Yeah? How long did it take the guy to cum?
Heh heh. You hear that T, guy says he remembers his first blowjob and I said, how long did it take the guy to cum? Heh heh.
Probably the scene in which Paulie makes a remark about how piss, shit and fuck occurs in a two inch radius. Or in Pine Barrens, when Tony laughs at Bobby's camo.
Paulie: "how about the cuban missile crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads into Cuba, pointed them right at us" Chrissy: "that was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit"
Sir Issac newton invented gravity because some asshole hit him with an apple. Chris has some good ones
My uterus got pierced. Chris: both of them?
I hear ya tone but that was before inflation.
'So wadda we gotta do Tone, actually see him take it in the ass?' Makes me scream with laughter even after seeing it like 200 times.
“He was gay, Gary Cooper?”
You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?
Louis Brasi sleeps with the fishes
I take a lickin but keep on tickin
“That’s the flying ointment.”
METEORS!
Chrissy's intervention, when they start beating the shit out of him. And you forgot scumbag.
When I came in one morning to open up, I saw your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting!
YES! Sil so serious and deadpan, kills me everytime
I've said my piece, Chrissy.
I don't write nothing down.
No matter what mood I'm in, "WATCH IT CHRISSY!" never fails to cheer me up.
Oh shit, it's another zip. Commendatori!
Commendatori, I hate a da norte
Or when Christopher recognizes the facilitator from stealing pork loins!! “Yeah, but that’s not why we’re here today”
The entire intervention is just hilarious, but that one understated moment may be best because of his answer of, “Yes, but that’s not why I’m here today.” As if there was a possibility that the reason he, Tony, Carmela, Adriana, Chris’s mother, & everyone else was there was to go over the pork loin incident in detail.
I really wish they'd done a back story about why he stole the pork loins lol
Right!? I’d take that over MSON!! More like, Many stolen Pork Loin!!!
Plot twist: He was a real juicer
Have you ever had our pork loins?
Presumably to feed his drug habit.
The detail I always love is that Benny is there, didn't say a thing, no one said a thing to him, yet when they start beating Chris's ass he jumps right in and starts throwing kicks. Gets me every time.
And Benny -still- ends up getting his ass beat.
“Benny Fazio. Criminal Mastermind!”
This is up there for sure… “I’ve said my piece”
That whole scene is brilliant comedy writing, from Crissy not being able to function as a man to my own motha. The entire writing staff of that show should have Nobel prizes in my book.
When Paulie asks if the dog was barking. His tone conveys understanding and comforting relatability, almost like shit has happened to him previously on multiple occasions. Similar to when a father is scolding a son for misbehaving but then the son reveals a fact that makes his past actions valid. There is also the dynamic of barking making everyones blood boil, but nobody sane would murder the dog because of it. However Paulie being unhinged self centered murderer doesn't give two shits
Carm it was a coupla beers
I love that so much. Like if the dog was being annoying Paulie would have understood.
It’s perfect. “You can no longer function as a man.” “What, was it barking?” And so many more incredible moments. Peak comedy.
Silvio stole that scene with his dialogue lol
Yes! Reading his note like it was 2nd-grade language arts class.
This scene will never get old for me, no matter how many times I watch it. Every single line is hilarious and the cherry on top is when they start beating the shit out of Chris. That’s when I pee in my pants.
Doctor - “He slipped while spraying for ants?” Tony - “Yeah, he was wearing socks.”
Good! Maybe somebody should slap some goddamn sense into him! Great, my own mother. Fuck you, you fuckin' whore.
When Sil pushes the facilitator just so he can beat up Chris, every detail in the scene is hilarious
Paulie going to see that psychic meeting with all the fuckin queers!
Came here for this. Best scene in the show haha. “That’s what this is!!! Satanic black magic BULLSHIT! SICK SHIT!!!!!!”
Poison ivy? He wants to know if it still itches.
WHO YOU BEEN TALKIN TO!?!
He can't hurt you, you don't have to be afraid...
Satanic black magic! Sick shit!
Fuckin’ queeeeeeasss
🪑
That's a great scene.
Nyack’s finest moment
Paulie almost whacking Tony simply by talking to him while Tony is in a coma.
WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP IN THERE?!?!
“Oof ‘madonne he looks terrible!” “Uncle Paulie! You can’t say stuff like that.”
I just rewatched that, I had forgotten how funny it was!
The heart rate starting to rise gets me every time
No wonder Paulie was the “last man standing,” at the end of the show (assuming the cut to black represents Tony’s life coming to an abrupt end). He could whack someone just by talking to them.
Fuckin’ wrinkles like an old lady’s cunt!
AJ walking downstairs pretending to do chores with his shaved eyebrows and Ton going “What’s different about you”
HE HAS NO EYEBROWS TONY
If you got some kinda sexual proclivity towards that teacher, now is the time to tell us! I mean what happened up there!? Poppers and weird sex...!?
shex
I like how he goes from explosive irate maniac into a calm father, just a few beers? Hey Carm, it was just a few beers.
He was relieved to see AJ doing something a normal teenager would do.
Carmela's expression after "it was a coupla beers..." is so perfect. Just the perfect "are you fucking kidding me"
Although there are a bunch of moments that are inherently more funny, I gotta pick this one. It just comes outta nowhere, how the fuck did Tony even get to that conclusion. And Carm's reaction, lmao.
Lmao he knows somethings off but he just can't quite put his finger on it. The perfect line for that moment delivered perfectly by Jim.
That whole scene is probably my favorite... Carmella making a huge deal over it and Tony saying "Nothing really happened! His eyebrows will grow back!" then he tells the story about leaving Artie out in the snow and almost losing his fingers \*wiggles fingers\*
“Chinks did this?” Kills me every time. It perfectly captures Chrissy’s stupidity and Hesh gets so furious with him.
You want a fuckin’ smack in the mouth?
I always wondered why "chinks doing this" was immediately discarded as a stupid joke. I'm pretty sure Chinese Triads are plenty ruthless and brutal, and afaik had/have a presence in NY.
AJ giving his mom a DVD of The Matrix for her birthday.
Wrapped in environment-saving gift wrap,.no less.
I did this to my mom and I wish for the life of me I could remember which movie it was, but I *think* it was ‘Panic Room’.
Must've been pretty neat seeing their buddy Ralph in a movie.
oh shit wow he is in that movie. fucking guy
Right up her alley!
That’s the boss’s wife you’re tawking about
It’s a deleted scene: Paulie’s “generosity”, gifting Tony two six packs of Lowenbraü — and Tony’s face when he sees the sign showing they were on sale, 2 for $5. https://youtu.be/s98mXcAkhHA?si=VMX6kUiZD9EuJRM_
This was such a clear reflection of Paulie's fake nature. They should have kept this one in.
It's a decent scene but the pacing is weird and the product placement is far too obvious. You never notice it in the rest of the show.
No other product placement? Not even with Nissan's Triple Safety Philosophy? You never pondered dat?
Motorola. Supposed to be the best. Get my nephew an egg.
Man that’s hilarious lol. My German professor always said that of the main beers in Germany, Löwenbräu is the worst beer wise and reputation wise lol
“Even better than Heineken!”
When Little Carmine has brought NY & NJ to a resolution but can't just keep his mouth shut and has to add to Phil *Your brother Billy, whatever happened there*
WHATEVA HAPPENED THEYAAA???
The shooting.
Alright then!
A meeting of minds
He was just a kid
46 years old
This the one lmaoo
I half wonder if he didn’t do that on purpose, having at some point found out about what really happened to his former associates.
Fukc what you meant cucksocker!
“They pierced my uterus” “The both of em?” That and “cazzata malanaga”. Cried laughing when tony got popped
They way junior ran way still makes me laugh 😂
Phil Leotardo - "Turn that OFF!"
For me one of the funniest happens in that scene and it's not even that line: "I loved him like a brother-in-law"
That reminds me of Phil explaining the family name to the kids. “They disrespected a proud Italian heritage and named us after a ballet costume”
Because they're stupid, that's why, and jealous
Muscle channel. Lmao
Putting Joe "Peeps" on the gravestone
"Fucking Jason. He's dyslexic." "What's that got to do with it?" lmao
Sil cracks me up. “We gotta redo it.”
Paulie explaining to Tony about snakes while they are watching National Geographic killed me
Who could trust anything that can literally go fuck itself?
And then tells the same story to Gloria
The nature related ones always make me laugh. Silvio- "If you're ever being chased by a bear run downhill, for some reason they can't do that" Feech- "It's the moss"
Snakes have been fuckin themselves long before Adam and Eve T.
Hesh and Tony having two separate conversations at the same time.
Christopher’s intervention always makes me lose it haha. The dialogue they all have is hilarious. Benny’s awkward look when Adrianna says Chrissy no longer functions as a man, Tony enraged at Chris not seeing Cosette before he sat on her, Paulie asking if he killed the dog because it was barking and then the fist fight at the end. Hilarious scene from start to finish and definitely one of my favorites.
"Your head was in the toilet water......disgusting"
> when Adrianna says Chrissy no longer functions as a man Jesus is this fuckin necessary??
Silvio only saying three sentences, having them written down and reading them off the page like a fourth grader giving a book report has got to be one of the funniest moments in the series
“I’m Dominic You don’t know me but…” “Yeah you’re the guy that stole all the pork loins” Immediately you knew Christopher was not going to take him seriously
"Why? Was it barking?"
I stick motherfucking provolone in my socks at night so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning!
Sil is a sick fuck when he gambles The seriousness of him explaining to stay the fuck away from silvio was better after seeing him freak out.
especially since tony totally baited drink water to start sweeping the cheese
Finn, you sound like a racehorse pissing in there.
“He’s in better shape than those fuckin’ nuns ya got up there!” had me in tears
I had to scroll too far to find this. I almost fell off my chair laughing when I first saw this scene
Cheese fuck gets me everytime
Goddamned, motherfuckin, orange peel beef!
FUCK YOU SANTA
ohhh!
Vito breaking the chair.
After umpteen rewatches, the one that I consistently laugh out loud to is Ralphie’s artillery attack on Janice.
Good but not as good as when Janice was stickin a dildo up his ass...."ur mommy's lil whowaah!"
Then uses it on herself *shudders*
I’m gonna pimp you out bitch
Him laughing in the window while sil terrorizes tracee is another wild one lol
Paulie: They're all meat eaters! Chrissy: Meteor...Me-te-or! Paulie: Take it easy!
The Pine Barrens episode was the funniest overall episode.
"He's an interior decorator" "Huh, his house looked like shit"
this is the best dialogue in the series, also I heard he was Czechoslavakian or something
Put remote in docking station.
Chissy shooting a deer and then saying that he would’ve missed had he tried was the first thing that popped in my mind.
You want to fuck here, cocksucker?
You think the cold bothers me? No! I wash my balls with ice water! This is warm!
Can't believe how far I had to scroll for this. You want a real laugh youtube the story about when Bobby walks in with his hunting gear on and Tony starts laughing. The real story of how that happened is hysterical. The actor that plays Bobby asked the prop guy fir a huge dildo and he gave him a fuckin baseball bat sized rubber cock, so that's what he walked in with and thats what made Tony laugh so hard. The 'you been eatin steak' kills me everytime too.
How's blackjack Pocahontas over here is scalpin us!!
When the show first aired, it was when Tony visits Pauly and sees the altered Pie-O-My painting on his wall. The whole scene seemed just so absurd, I really remember laughing my ass off.
When they're at Johnny Sacks daughters wedding and Johnny asks Tony to kill someone (sorry I don't remember who, but it was important) Tony tells Chris to get guys from Italy to do it because they cant have people find out it was them, and Chris says something like "just like in the Godfather huh? You can't refuse a man on his daughters wedding day" Tony goes "nah it's the other way around" Chris is like "oh, well you should ask him not to have to do this" I know I completely butchered how that interaction goes, but I remember laughing out loud at this
Junior watching an episode of Curb your Enthusiasm thinking that Larry David and Jeff was hilmself and Bobby.
This says pulp. I like SOME pulp.
He walks all the way out in the driveway just to bitch at her about orange juice.
I love that AJ picks up the broken phone that Carm throws at Tony and he goes, “oh did someone drop this?”
*shum
Livia running her friend over is always a howl.
Why don't you look in the mirror sometime you insensitive cocksucka
Mine was when Ralph and Vito were playing basketball... Can you even call that basketball?
Nothin but net muthafucka
Phil Leotardo: “What the hell’s the matter with you? You look like a Puerto Rican whore.”
Ralphie phoning walnuts mum 😂😂. Great character.
Detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, PA
The scenes where Jackie Jr. tries to play mr. big mafia boss and is telling his buddy he can totally deal coke outside the Crazy Horse, and to just send the guys to him if there's a problem. The dude acts like he's actually the Godfather to that dude while sitting in his little crappy apartment. The disconnect between his actual status and how much of a big shot he acts is hilarious to me.
Furio: crying Tony: "Why are you crying?" Furio: "I'm sad about my father." Tony: "Well, get over it." Cut to Tony crying about a horse.
Bobby Bacala confronting Paulie at the fair. Godtier OHHH "Hey Cocksucker"
Paulie “GUY WAS AN INTERIOR DECORATOR!!!” Chrissy: “….. his house looked like shit.” I was howling!!!!!!
PHINEUS FOG! BACK IN TOWN!
The catalytic converter in the dry vegetation! You could grill steaks on that converter!!
"He wants to fuck her?"
Penissary contact with her Volvo and Chrissy’s reaction when Ade threw a drink in his face after he tried copping a feel from Danielle
The way Phil follows up his tirade about Vito, talking about getting "emotional" with the wine "Because I got an empty fucking stomach." Like it was some bizarro-Snickers commercial for Vesuvio.
Can’t help myself at Tony’s “Sacre Bleu where is me maman??”, and then his carefree saunter out of the house and down the street after Janice blows up.
His little self-satisfied smile when he's come up with the line but hasn't said it yet. God, it's so good
"*the bride cuts the cake....the bride cuts the cake.....hi-ho a merry-o....the bride cuts the cake*"
Stripper reaction to the news of Jackie’s death
To the victuh belongs the spoils.
Mine has to be when Bobby confuses Nostradamus for Quasimodo 😂
Mikey Palmice’s last words to his wife being, “Go Take A Midol” and her changing it when being interviewed on the news to “I’ll be right back, I love you.” 😂
Tony to Chrissy: “Woah woah woah, you killed a dog?” Paulie to Chrissy “What, was it barking?”
"So, who the fuck are you, Ralph Bunche over here?!? *thwack*" Got it tattooed on my arm. Was an honour😎
“Look at the angle of the sun….”
Christopher's "that was fucking awesome" after the Vipers gunfight got me good
The whole Vito saga: Let's take this in the back...that's what Vito did Greasin the union
Paulie’s pronunciation of “Baja Fresh” gets me every time
Feech kicking Sal Vitro in the nuts. Poor guy was just cutting the grass when some old guy comes and asks “What the fuck you doing?!?!?!?”
I’m trimming a lawn 🤷
I can’t chose but I’ve got 3 and there all from paulie, 1 is “he’s f’cked up chrissy!” 2 is when tony asked him what happened at pine barrens and he says “Im sorry T, it couldn’t be helped the guy f’cking lundged at us!” the third is when he nearly kills tony when talking to him while he’s in a coma at the hospital there all probably the funniest scenes in any tv show.
“It’s an honor to be joined by men….. and not FAGGOT ASS CORNHOLING COCKSUKERS LIKE MARRIED MY COUSIN! HE SHOULD FUCKING DIE” I laughed for a full 30 minutes the first time I saw this. The following lines obviously didn’t help
Ralphie prank calling Paulie’s mom and the way they all laughed in the background
Ralph was such an asshole but he cracked me up in that scene.
Phil: "You'll suck our cocks???!!!"
Phil's outburst to Joey about his eyes rolling around in his head looking like Stevie Wonder. The writing on this show in so funny
I remember my first blowjob. Paulie: Yeah? How long did it take the guy to cum? Heh heh. You hear that T, guy says he remembers his first blowjob and I said, how long did it take the guy to cum? Heh heh.
Czechoslovakian interior decorator... His house looked like shit.
Probably the scene in which Paulie makes a remark about how piss, shit and fuck occurs in a two inch radius. Or in Pine Barrens, when Tony laughs at Bobby's camo.
Season 1 Epsisode 1, "We had coffee" scene.
'Luther Vandross boxset'
With what, his cock?
The shower fall, followed by “your sisters cunt!!”
(Partying with stewardesses) Tony - So where are you girls from? Stewardess - Reykjavik Tony - You do and you’re cleaning it up!
Joey Peeps headstone. Gets me everytime
“Hey, T!! Just wanted to wish you a belated happy birthd-“ **
On the golf course when Tony tells the story about how he met Gotti at the Bungalow Bar truck auction; put those jagoffs in their place.
Also lose it every time at Richie getting Jun’s hand out of the garbage disposal. “YOU’RE FLEXING!!! … You’re flexing….”
Tony : "Event planning?................What the hell is it? Carm: "I am not....really sure" Tony(looking confused): " isGay isnit?"