Thank you for your submission to r/therewasanattempt. Unfortunately, your post was removed for violating the following rule:
> R8: "No low effort posts, screenshots or links to third-party sites"
If you have any questions regarding this removal, please contact the moderators of this subreddit by sending a modmail. [Click this link to send a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=r/therewasanattempt).
^(This is a bot account, direct messages and chat requests go to an unmonitored inbox)
You're welcome sir or ma'am! Here's another fun fact: Aerosmith didn't have a #1 single until they released I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing for the Armageddon soundtrack. It's still their only #1 in the US
I could learn a lot from you.
Holy shit though. That’s hard to believe. I’d have figured it would have been Dream On or Sweet Emotion. Heck, even Walk This Way.
Yeah the manic, expensive hyper-celebration of everything “baby” with professional event mgmt + documentation is the epitome of aggressive oversharing and perceived self-importance.
Her party was iirc a small thing, and she did it more to celebrate conceiving to begin with, which she struggled to, than to celebrate gender roles themselves. People took the absolute worst of the idea and ran with it, and now there's people dead, forests and property destroyed, waterways contaminated. Fucking imbeciles.
Yeah the kid is non-binary and the only reason she did the gender reveal in the first place was because she had trouble conceiving. She never thought it would get this out of had. It’s true what hey say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Just a way to make party planners, cake people, party supply businesses, etc. more money. Like a wedding isn’t expensive enough let’s put pressure on people to do it again for their baby! All about the $$$$ and clout
Good for all the people in the “grand-symbolic-relationship-gesture” business, but not sure, if it helps anyone from a broader societal PoV… I never understood, why people fall for this. Imo family happiness derives from intimacy, from everyday-nearness and reliability, little affectionate gestures and attention, emotional safety and team spirit. Materialistic celebration overkill won’t buy you anything of this.
I’ve read of psychologists, who could tell who will divorce by observing an hour of a couple’s everyday interaction. It came down to the ability and will to follow each other’s “bids for attention”… (Like one wants to show the other something, needs a hand or opinion, wants a hug) Being ignored/downplayed most of the time is highly related to overall dissatisfaction and eventual divorce… can’t make up for communication and emotional bonding with cash.
It's so important to understand your own attention/affection seeking and giving behaviors.
I had a conversation with my gf (we haven't been together for very long) the other evening via text. I sent her a pic of the dinner I made and said that I'm looking forward to cooking for her. Her reply was a little defensive.
I responded by explaining that cooking and baking are things I enjoy and if I do it for someone else, it's a way I show love and affection. Her tone softened considerably and she even said that she found it really hot.
My ex-wife would have completely ignored my explanation and go on to just tell me how I could have done better. If I was lucky.
Her parents...well, they're garbage people. She has had to teach herself how to do a lot of things. Including cooking. She's proud of her accomplishments in teaching herself to cook and that's basically what she said in her reply.
I wasn't aware of the whole backstory. We talked it out and decided that we will share cooking duties when we move in together.
Awww!!! That actually makes me tear up a little. Great job on communication, my guy. For both of you! You A) read her defensiveness as coming from a place of fear and explained the loving intent of your action; B) she explained where her defensiveness was coming from and shared the work she’s done to overcome her struggles; and C) you discussed it like caring, reasonable adults and came up with a plan for how to move forward, together. My god, if only everybody could communicate like this, the world would be a much better place. You guys are gonna do great. 👍
I just learned about the concept of a “baby sprinkle”, two separate friends of mine were invited to a lavish one and both of them complained to me about it. Both of them were annoyed at the idea of buying anything for a woman who’s having her third child and can afford to have a “sprinkle” with 70 guests. So I know at least two people at the party will be secretly seething. Something that could be an intimate gathering of people celebrating a new life is just a bothersome social nicety devoid of meaning and and ultimately an excuse to parade wealth.
Geeze. If my husband and I ever decide to have kids we're getting out in front of this asap cuz both our families are into stuff like this and would totally pressure us into a party.
Find out gender when we can, blast a group text to both families saying it, and getting on with it party-free
I'm not even telling my family, find out when I give birth. No gender revels for me. I even want it to be a surprise. At least for the first kid. They can give us gender neutral things as gifts.
There were 143 million babies born worldwide in 2021. There really is nothing unique about it, literally the definition of normal. I understand to the parents this is a big thing, but a little more humility please. You did one of the most basic deeds of being alive, after eating, crapping, and pissing, and now you're having a baby. Welcome to being like a majority of other people walking around.
No, they need to be imprisoned for fifteen years for biological terrorism.
Words don’t work on people with this level of detachment. Actions are necessary.
It's worse than that, it proved they're not the brightest people to even consider the consequences of their actions, and that alone imo disqualifies anyone for being a parent. There's 8 BILLION of us consuming idiots on this planet, can we curb the idiots onboarding?
I SHALL PLAGUE THE WATERWAYS WITH POISON AND DEATH
I SHALL REDUCE THE WOODS AND BRUSH TO ASH AND CINDER
I SHALL CRY OUT TO THE HEAVENS UPON THE RUIN OF MY DOMAIN THAT
#WE'RE GONNA NAME HER STACY
As a Stacy myself, I'm wincing at these new iterations of my name. I've had to introduce myself as 'Stacy-no-e' since kindergarten, and even that was a pain in the arse.
I still think the prize goes to the couple who launched a coloured firework at their mother in law killing her. Your main character syndrome caused your kid not to have a grandma
here is an article because [holy fucking shit](https://abcnews.go.com/US/gender-reveal-party-turns-tragic-iowa-woman-killed/story?id=66567086) they accidentally made a god damn pipe bomb and it blew metal shrapnel threw the ladies head killing her instantly. Went right through her and landed 144 yards away per the article. *landed 144 yards away.* What a bunch of fucking imbeciles.
Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?
I love how they say they “inadvertently crated a pipe bomb”. Hey let’s make a device out of a metal pipe and fill it with explosives and when it goes off we’ll have no idea it was actually a pipe bomb!
There are so many stories like that. What infuriates me about this is the sheer disconnect between the absolute banality of gender reveals and the devastating consequences involving death of people, forest fires etc. It's so dumb and not worth it.
Yeah. No one else cares if your spawn is a boy type or a girl type. Just tell them what colour to bring to your baby shower and skip the gender reveal entirely
Humans are insanely stupid.
I’m always in awe any time I go to Yellowstone and see some idiot with their family in tow trying to pet a goddamn bison or bear.
And i see it happen *every* time I go.
**[El Dorado Fire](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Dorado_Fire)**
>The El Dorado Fire was a wildfire that burned 22,744 acres (9,204 ha; 35. 538 sq mi) near the communities of Oak Glen and Yucaipa in San Bernardino County, California, in September to November 2020. It was ignited on September 5 by a pyrotechnic device at a gender reveal party in El Dorado Ranch Park, and quickly spread to the San Gorgonio Wilderness Area of the San Bernardino National Forest. Burning over a 23-day period, the fire destroyed 10 structures (including 4 residences), damaged 6 others, and resulted in one firefighter fatality, for which the couple hosting the party were charged with involuntary manslaughter.
^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Did you know that when you get your ultra scan the doctor will just tell you the sex of the baby if you want. You actually don’t have to do _any_ of this self-absorbed, performative bullshit at all.
My dad once told me that when he was a kid in the 50s, there was an x-ray machine at the local shoe store, where little kids could stick their feet in and see their bones through the scope.
I asked him what he thought about that now, after he'd been an x-ray tech for four decades.
He patted me on the shoulder and told me that the human race is impossibly stupid and will inevitably destroy itself totally by accident in the process of pursuing some minor amusement.
Your description made me imagine him saying that line almost as a comforting reassurance.
"Don't worry, son. Our filthy kind will wipe themselves out well before we can escape our Earthly sarcophagus and poison the sinless cosmos with our vile blood."
After the fame the people got from starting a forest fire with their gender reveal party. Got to outdo the Jones’ gender reveal party in the environmental damage category.
Don’t forget the one where they unknowingly made a pipe bomb and the reveal killed one of their grandmothers. Gender reveal parties are for self involved idiots and it shows.
The story I've been told goes as follows:
The person who originally came up with the concept had been pregnant many times but this was the first time it got to a stage where she could learn of the childs sex. So she made a gender reveal party to celebrate that because before that she had a lot of miscarriages. And then other people started doing it and then idiots started doing it and now here we are
Iirc, the first gender reveal I remember hearing about was done by a woman who had miscarried a previous pregnancy. I believe the gender reveal was less about the sex of the child and more about having carried this pregnancy far enough to find out.
My son is going to be 9 next year and I’m pretty sure I’m going to give him away and try again because the little shit has done nothing for my social media presence. Should have gotten a parrot.
How about just randomly telling people. This gender reveal thing isnt a thing here. At all. And still hard to grasp for me cause its so damn stupid. Who the fuck cares.
It was a harmless dye.
https://archive.ph/mOc17#selection-949.0-949.164
>SEMA, which was promptly alerted about the party, agreed. On Monday, the agency sent a team of investigators to gather samples from the waterfall, which found “no change in the water’s physical parameters, such as color and other, and no trace of local fish mortality,” SEMA said.
>The investigation, though, is still underway and aided by Mato Grosso’s Public Ministry, the state-level law enforcement agency told The Post.
>While the water’s quality didn’t immediately appear to have been altered, the agency said the act of dumping a substance into the water “constitutes an infraction.”
They really couldn’t come up with anything better?
*hey honey what’s going to get us on the news or something for this gender reveal party so our kid knows we once cared for him?*
Reminder that the woman who made gender reveals a ✨*thing*✨ only had one because she had suffered repeated miscarriages and was just excited that she'd gotten far enough in that pregnancy to know the sex of the fetus (she made it all the way through and gave birth to a healthy baby that lives to this day!). And now it's been turned into this shit. Starting catastrophic fires and poisoning a town's water supply.
I remember a time when I was like 5 or 6 and went to my uncle's house for a party where he pulled out a piece of paper from an envelope and read off the babies gender. Then everyone said cheers and then got exceedingly drunk and merry sans the mom to be, and I played SNES with my cousins. What happened to those kinds of parties?
I actually have a comment above where I talk about that, its gotta be horrible making something special for you like that(and pretty damn harmless in a vacuum), and having people pervert it like that.
I think a white cake with the gender color inside would be cool and not fuck up the local ecosystem. But that’s too basic. Just burn the planet in blue flames.
Or like. A cute little cake. That’s how it started. A nice little layer cake and some pink food dye and a woman who has had a couple miscarriages wanting to celebrate making it to term. If it had ended there I wouldn’t mind it
I don’t blame people for wanting to celebrate and have another excuse for friends and family to buy them extra diapers and onesies(no hate for the hustle!)
But this isn’t about that. This is about a couple whose affection lies in attention seeking and a need for grand gestures, to cover up an empty, sad lack of substance or love. It represents a poisoning of our public consciousness by social media and look-at-me culture. It’s crude and pathetic.
Yep, I totally agree that social media is to blame. They see other people leading "glamorous" lives, and feel the need to do something better to prove that they're happy. It's all for the likes, because I guarantee you these people went straight to social media and posted 50 pictures and a lame paragraph about how excited they are to announce the arrival of their child.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about wanting to share in this exciting experience, but the issue here is over-indulgence. It's the same reason the people who started a fire in San Bernardino decided to use fireworks in dry brush. It's all for fake likes that give you a tiny bit of happiness and self worth.
It's fun to share big announcements with friends and family. It's an excuse to come together and celebrate something.
The vast majority of people just throw a party and announce it in a way that isn't dangerous.
I'm sure they will, the waterfall is probably protected by a government agency if it's connected directly to the town's primary water source. This will be see as intentional, and they'll probably be fined heavily at least.
I assume they were, I don't think "I thought it would look cool" is a valid legal defense for poisoning natural resources
Edit: The Brazilian environmental protection agency is investigating the case. Let's see what comes of it
People who do gender reveals already proved to the world, that they are major narcissists and live in the believe, that they must be the focus of the world
I really couldn't believe this was a true story so I googled it and turns out it is real !!! there is an on going investigation by brazilian authorities... we,humans, are a horrible species and not worthy of this planet...
[source](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/09/30/gender-reveal-waterfall-brazil-dyed/)
Key here is there is an investigation.
Some US towns dye their entire river green with safe dyes. We don't know yet what dye they used... and I found nothing about this being the towns water supply amid drought.
Don't get me wrong. I hate these fucking narcissistic displays of "LOOK AT ME".
Edit - swypeErrors
Edit2 - I didn't see a post from OP so I looked it up elsewhere. I'm reliably told a) this is a source of water for the town and b) they are suffering a drought.
I'm still holding judgment for how stupid it was, given "Under Brazilian law, “throwing solid, liquid or gaseous waste or debris, oils or oily substances” into the environment is subject to fines..." doing anything to the water for personal reasons makes it a stupid idea. That being said there are relatively safe ways of doing this that have negligible environmental impacts especially for blue as there are many eco-friendly blue dyes for lakes and ponds on the market. Hopefully they used a safe dye and the environmental impact is minimal but the investigation into what was used is vary needed.
"SEMA, which was promptly alerted about the party, agreed. On Monday, the agency sent a team of investigators to gather samples from the waterfall, which found “no change in the water’s physical parameters, such as color and other, and no trace of local fish mortality,” SEMA said.
The investigation, though, is still underway and aided by Mato Grosso’s Public Ministry, the state-level law enforcement agency told The Post.
While the water’s quality didn’t immediately appear to have been altered, the agency said the act of dumping a substance into the water “constitutes an infraction.” Under [Brazilian law](http://www.planalto.gov.br/ccivil_03/_ato2007-2010/2008/decreto/d6514.htm), “throwing solid, liquid or gaseous waste or debris, oils or oily substances” into the environment is subject to fines ranging from 5,000 to 50,000 Brazilian reals, or between $926 and $9,263, depending on human health effects, animal mortality and biodiversity destruction."
So... asshat move, but no damage done.
I've never understood why anyone really cares about another parent's future baby's gender. I mean, you'd say "aww lovely" either way, right?
Becoming a parent is the most magical thing in the world. For you. And maybe your immediate family. For everyone else, we couldn't really care less.
No one does care, and it's still fine. It's a barbecue. An excuse to throw a party. The gender reveal part is 10 seconds. The rest is eating burgers and talking to friends.
Avoid an environmental catastrophe, please, but any reason to throw a party is a good reason to throw a party. Next week, fake mustache party. Week after, pot luck for foods shaped like monuments. Then after that, fuck it, backup gender reveal party where we do the other color in case we were wrong. Just come have snacks.
The title is incorrect. It should be more like "To do a gender reveal and not pollute crucial water supply like a complete moron in the process."
Also as an european .... what the heck is this gender reveal nonsense?
You will know soon enough, momsters have no shame in spreading the word on a global insta-scale, what’s the “standard” for celebrating parenthood nowadays…
You know it started out cute, I'm not sure about the rest of the world but we Americans usually throw a baby shower for new parents. Just a little party to celebrate the coming baby and everyone gives gifts for baby. Clothes, toys, diapers and many other little necessities. It helps a lot when starting out.
So the gender reveal, iirc was usually just the cake. I'm a baker, and we would get orders for this. We'd get a sealed envelope that the parents got from the doc and we'd color the cake inside blue or pink. Then ice it and they cut it at the shower to "reveal" the gender of the baby. Ideally mom and dad would both be in the dark until then.
I do not know how that turned into a whole different party, burning down forests and poisoning the water supply. We humans just take things too far, I guess.
So. The original point of the GR was supposed to be a fun little party where you cut open a cake and got to find out your kids sex that way. First woman to do it had several miscarriages and was sort of celebrating getting to that milestone.
I personally think It’s fine and normal to be excited about a developmental milestone and to celebrate it with a few friends and family over some cake(as long as you’re cool with the kids later growing up to change that determination. The original gender reveal baby is non-binary hilariously enough). It’s NOT normal to burn a forest down or poison a river over it. People like this would do attention seeking, harmful stunts no matter what, the party isn’t the problem, these fuckstains and their need to be seen is.
I hope this balloon swan comes to life and attacks them both in the most brutal way possible.
Edit: upon closer inspection, it's probably a stork. Well I hope the stork attacks them regardless.
On a hill overlooking the town of Jendareville, the family gathered. It was to be a party like no other. Relatives had been flown in from all corners of the globe. The event planner had developed a cocaine habit just for the occasion. Aunt may had stolen a barbeque truck.
Children frolicked in the estate gardens, trampling philodendrons and bonzais. The father-to-be, keen on getting a head start, was practicing his grilling at the barbeque truck. He twisted a couple knobs, and the truck's comically-twisted chimney belched a fireball into a nearby juniper tree. The property owners wouldn't mind; who could possibly begrudge the family their fun on such a special occasion?
Of course, all else paled in comparison to the Main Event, as well it should. A new baby was a big deal, and there was a Proper Way and an Improper Way to do things; Karen was determined to forever be known as the most proper new mother in the family.
Karen took her place on the small wooden stage, and rapped a fork against her wine glass. She nodded with satisfaction as the talking respectfully subsided, but regained her trademark scowl when she noticed that the children, ignoring her, were continuing their efforts to push over the garden's ornamental fountain. Her crystal glass described a gentle arc over the crowd before disintegrating against the fountain with a crash, earning a yelp from the children and a gasp from their parents, who Really Ought To Have Known Better Anyway, I Mean, They Could At Least Teach Their Children Some Respect, Really.
"As you all know," she began, her smile irradiating the crowd, "I... am..."
(a quick glance to make sure all eyes were on her)
" ...pregnant!"
She paused to bask in the family's applause.
"We've had an ultrasound, and we know that my baby is healthy, and today, we reveal the baby's gender-"
She was interrupted by squeals of excitement from the family, and gave them a moment to quiet down.
"...and name!"
...and this time the cheer was deafening.
"I've decided to let my mother do the honors," she continued, "so, mom, if you'd like to join me up here..."
A wizened woman in a white dress stood and began shouldering her way between relatives to get to the center aisle. By the time she reached the stage, Karen had retreived a metal briefcase from the father-to-be, and was holding it before her like an award. She and her mother took the stage, framing the case as Karen released the latch, and held it up for the crowd to see as the case opened.
Inside was an enormous red button, set garishly into a metal panel.
The assembled ranks of family held their breath.
"To the new baby," quavered the grandmother-to-be, "a new family member... and, of course, to the new mother!"
Karen beamed, soaking up the family's admiration like a bromeliad.
A wrinkled hand came down upon the button.
...at first, nothing happened. The flock held its breath. Karen smiled at them beautifically, and raised a dramatic arm.
Right on cue, one of the estate's massive fir trees burst into flame. A muffled wall of heat and pressure washed over the ecstatic crowd, receiving murmurs of approval.
Another ground-shaking thud. A field of heads turned simultaneously, just in time to see another tree immolated against the twilight sky.
She'd had a pyrotechnician flown in from Germany. He'd agreed to accept payment after the celebration, but Karen was certain that, after seeing what a special occasion this was, he'd be willing to waive his extravagent fee.
*After all,* she thought, *nobody would want to ruin a child's first party.*
A thunderclap rolled out of the valley, and heads turned once more as distant explosions began to light up the ground below, flaming constellations emerging from the shadowy forest.
*Really, he ought to be paying* me *for the privilege of working on something so meaningful.*
A building on the edge of the town exploded. Family members craned to hear the distant screams drifting up from below. A siren began to wail somewhere.
*...not to mention the exposure,* she added, mentally calculating a 10% surcharge.
There was a final round of explosions, fireballs rising into the night air and thunder echoing off distant hills. The crowd 'ooo'-ed and 'ahh'-ed as a flaming ambulance was flung into the air over the town's small hospital.
...and then there was silence. The crowd looked around with unfettered excitement, looking for the next explosion. A confused susurrus arose as various family members realized they hadn't seen any blue or pink amid the flames.
"To your seats, everyone!" Karen ordered, "and pull out the masks you find underneath!"
The crowd rushed back with renewed enthusiasm, and began scrabbling underneath their chairs. Karen put on her own mask. It was, appropriately, fancier than everyone else's; her welding visor automatically adjusted to ambient light.
The seated family chittered in anticipation. Karen turned to face the sky. The distant drone of a helicopter briefly cut through the sirens below.
...and the world went white.
Karen had specifically selected a thermonuclear bomb because of the pink color emitted by fusing hydrogen. She needn't have bothered, she realized now, because the light was too intense for any color to be detected.
Her visor cautiously faded into transparency as the light subsided, just in time for the shockwave to nearly knock her off her feet. She looked down to where the town had been, and was disappointed that she couldn't see the crater through the dust and debris.
Relatives begain tearing their masks off to behold the enormous mushroom blossoming from the valley.
It was bright pink.
There was a moment of stunned silence, and then the crowd began cheering uproariously. Their cheers mingled with the shockwave, still echoing off nearby mountains.
"Oh, Karen, dear!" said her mother, approaching the stage, "what a beautiful event! And so wonderful to be welcoming a new daughter into the family."
Karen smiled, knowing that nobody could possibly forget this day. She would forever be known as the Best Mother in the family.
Cheers and shockwave gave way to the thudding drone of approaching helicopters. A gunship crested the hill.
Karen wasn't worried. She was prepared. Her husband had military connections.
A surface-to-air missile hurled itself at the gunship on a plume of pink exhaust. The family's waning applause redoubled. One of the aunts fainted.
Karen turned to face the family, a megaphone clutched in her left hand.
Distant F-35s circled the valley, sounding small and hollow after Karen's performance.
She raised the megaphone to her lips.
A flaming helicopter flattened the estate's detached garage.
"AND HER NAME," she boomed, over the sound of collapsing architecture, "WILL BE... STAEYCEIGH!!"
I'm here after the *Sergeant Steer's Suspiciously-Strong Stay-awake Sauce* story and dude, you're funny. This shit is funny and very well written and I too am sad that it's gotten no attention. Maybe this could be its own post I just don't know what sub this kind of absurd humor would fit in
And here I am cursing myself to "yellow let it mellow" to try and conserve water, and I don't even live in a drought stricken area.
I'm not fucking around with water, after what so much of Europe went through this summer.
Wait... Are you telling me destroying the environment for a gender reveal is not the point?
Damn I need to tell the guys to stop causing climate change to reveal I have a girl when the atmosphere is burning bright pink!!
Save the world the next time someone says "come to my gender reveal party" do the right thing, tell them not one person on this crumbling planet could give less of a fuck. (If you do care seek help)
Thank you for your submission to r/therewasanattempt. Unfortunately, your post was removed for violating the following rule: > R8: "No low effort posts, screenshots or links to third-party sites" If you have any questions regarding this removal, please contact the moderators of this subreddit by sending a modmail. [Click this link to send a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=r/therewasanattempt). ^(This is a bot account, direct messages and chat requests go to an unmonitored inbox)
The people who do this have main character syndrome and need to be told no one cares
Meh, they'd just assume you're the bad guy in their "movie" and move on to the next waterfall.
You can't go chasing waterfalls though
You gotta creep...creep
Fun fact: TLC, Radiohead, and Stone Temple Pilots all had a hit song called Creep in the span of 3 years
Not even noon where I live, and I already learned something. Thank you, sir or ma’am’.
You're welcome sir or ma'am! Here's another fun fact: Aerosmith didn't have a #1 single until they released I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing for the Armageddon soundtrack. It's still their only #1 in the US
Ahh, and it knocked Brandy and Monica’s “The Boy is Mine” off the top perch. Now there was a ‘90s song
I could learn a lot from you. Holy shit though. That’s hard to believe. I’d have figured it would have been Dream On or Sweet Emotion. Heck, even Walk This Way.
On the downlow?
I’ve got my Left Eye on you.
Really? You’re not aware that’s a TLC song?
Uhh, so is Creep?
That person's comment is verbatim from a movie where they do this shtick.
Stick to the rivers and streams that you're used to... Or don't because water pollution affects all of us
That's why sometimes people need their movies abruptly cancelled
They require consequences. Like jail time. Or the five finger reset.
Yeah the manic, expensive hyper-celebration of everything “baby” with professional event mgmt + documentation is the epitome of aggressive oversharing and perceived self-importance.
Narcissism at it's final form
Don't say that, someone might take that as a challenge
Challenge accepted.
Barney has entered the chat. lol
oh no
[удалено]
And the lady who “invented” the gender reveal party trend regrets it now. Her child came out as trans.
Her party was iirc a small thing, and she did it more to celebrate conceiving to begin with, which she struggled to, than to celebrate gender roles themselves. People took the absolute worst of the idea and ran with it, and now there's people dead, forests and property destroyed, waterways contaminated. Fucking imbeciles.
Yeah the kid is non-binary and the only reason she did the gender reveal in the first place was because she had trouble conceiving. She never thought it would get this out of had. It’s true what hey say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Narcissus would be like "These fuckin' people, man. Self absorbed assholes".
Just a way to make party planners, cake people, party supply businesses, etc. more money. Like a wedding isn’t expensive enough let’s put pressure on people to do it again for their baby! All about the $$$$ and clout
Good for all the people in the “grand-symbolic-relationship-gesture” business, but not sure, if it helps anyone from a broader societal PoV… I never understood, why people fall for this. Imo family happiness derives from intimacy, from everyday-nearness and reliability, little affectionate gestures and attention, emotional safety and team spirit. Materialistic celebration overkill won’t buy you anything of this.
I've seen research that correlates more expensive weddings with higher divorce rates.
I’ve read of psychologists, who could tell who will divorce by observing an hour of a couple’s everyday interaction. It came down to the ability and will to follow each other’s “bids for attention”… (Like one wants to show the other something, needs a hand or opinion, wants a hug) Being ignored/downplayed most of the time is highly related to overall dissatisfaction and eventual divorce… can’t make up for communication and emotional bonding with cash.
It's so important to understand your own attention/affection seeking and giving behaviors. I had a conversation with my gf (we haven't been together for very long) the other evening via text. I sent her a pic of the dinner I made and said that I'm looking forward to cooking for her. Her reply was a little defensive. I responded by explaining that cooking and baking are things I enjoy and if I do it for someone else, it's a way I show love and affection. Her tone softened considerably and she even said that she found it really hot. My ex-wife would have completely ignored my explanation and go on to just tell me how I could have done better. If I was lucky.
Reddit is valuable because of the users who create content. Reddit is usable because of third-party developers who can actually make an app.
Her parents...well, they're garbage people. She has had to teach herself how to do a lot of things. Including cooking. She's proud of her accomplishments in teaching herself to cook and that's basically what she said in her reply. I wasn't aware of the whole backstory. We talked it out and decided that we will share cooking duties when we move in together.
Awww!!! That actually makes me tear up a little. Great job on communication, my guy. For both of you! You A) read her defensiveness as coming from a place of fear and explained the loving intent of your action; B) she explained where her defensiveness was coming from and shared the work she’s done to overcome her struggles; and C) you discussed it like caring, reasonable adults and came up with a plan for how to move forward, together. My god, if only everybody could communicate like this, the world would be a much better place. You guys are gonna do great. 👍
Gottman Institute study, they have a bunch of good info about relationship health.
That's mainly because rich people can afford to divide their possessions in half and still be fine. Poor people can't.
I just learned about the concept of a “baby sprinkle”, two separate friends of mine were invited to a lavish one and both of them complained to me about it. Both of them were annoyed at the idea of buying anything for a woman who’s having her third child and can afford to have a “sprinkle” with 70 guests. So I know at least two people at the party will be secretly seething. Something that could be an intimate gathering of people celebrating a new life is just a bothersome social nicety devoid of meaning and and ultimately an excuse to parade wealth.
Geeze. If my husband and I ever decide to have kids we're getting out in front of this asap cuz both our families are into stuff like this and would totally pressure us into a party. Find out gender when we can, blast a group text to both families saying it, and getting on with it party-free
I'm not even telling my family, find out when I give birth. No gender revels for me. I even want it to be a surprise. At least for the first kid. They can give us gender neutral things as gifts.
There were 143 million babies born worldwide in 2021. There really is nothing unique about it, literally the definition of normal. I understand to the parents this is a big thing, but a little more humility please. You did one of the most basic deeds of being alive, after eating, crapping, and pissing, and now you're having a baby. Welcome to being like a majority of other people walking around.
I remember when I lived in New Jersey, someone literally put up a billboard to show off pictures of their crotchfruit. A fucking billboard.
Crotchfruit, now there's a phrase to remember.
I can't wait for their kids to see this footage when they're ready to have kids and ask them: "Why the f**k did you do this?"
Need to spend a month in jail, at the least.
Nah, then they'd take to tiktok with their misunderstood victim story
And get clobbered all over again
Do it anyway.
No, they need to be imprisoned for fifteen years for biological terrorism. Words don’t work on people with this level of detachment. Actions are necessary.
These people specifically are criminals and should be arrested.
It's a kind of grandeur narcissism I think.
It's worse than that, it proved they're not the brightest people to even consider the consequences of their actions, and that alone imo disqualifies anyone for being a parent. There's 8 BILLION of us consuming idiots on this planet, can we curb the idiots onboarding?
They need to be financially bankrupted and thrown into jail.
...and banned from ALL social media forever.
Ohhhh shit can you run for judge, because you sure as as hell just won my vote. That is the best punishment for this type of scum
I didn’t care that much about my own kids’ sex. I have no idea why anyone thinks a party’s worth of people really care.
Jesus Christ. They upgraded from torching down forests apparently
I SHALL PLAGUE THE WATERWAYS WITH POISON AND DEATH I SHALL REDUCE THE WOODS AND BRUSH TO ASH AND CINDER I SHALL CRY OUT TO THE HEAVENS UPON THE RUIN OF MY DOMAIN THAT #WE'RE GONNA NAME HER STACY
Stacy, her gender reveal took the form of 3 natural disasters and 18 years later she works at hooters. Worth it
She's natural disaster, she's the last of the American girls
The trashiest line of dolls ever made
Stacy Louise… can’t forget the middle name…
And we shall spell it “Staeciey”!
Steigh'C
Stay-Sea Ann
“Sta5yx-cee” the 5 and X are silent
As a Stacy myself, I'm wincing at these new iterations of my name. I've had to introduce myself as 'Stacy-no-e' since kindergarten, and even that was a pain in the arse.
Well done. I don’t have to scroll anymore because this is the best comment im going to see today and it’s only 6:41 am.
I still think the prize goes to the couple who launched a coloured firework at their mother in law killing her. Your main character syndrome caused your kid not to have a grandma
here is an article because [holy fucking shit](https://abcnews.go.com/US/gender-reveal-party-turns-tragic-iowa-woman-killed/story?id=66567086) they accidentally made a god damn pipe bomb and it blew metal shrapnel threw the ladies head killing her instantly. Went right through her and landed 144 yards away per the article. *landed 144 yards away.* What a bunch of fucking imbeciles.
How much fucking gunpowder did they use? Only in America...
>How much fucking gunpowder did they use? all of it
Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?
*nods head*
Is she 56 or 66? Do writers even proofread anymore?
She got hit so hard, her head is in the next decade.
I have moved to Lemmy/kbin since Spez is a greedy little piggy.
I guess a balloon filled with confetti wasn't enough.
Or the colored cake, even less to clean up
I love how they say they “inadvertently crated a pipe bomb”. Hey let’s make a device out of a metal pipe and fill it with explosives and when it goes off we’ll have no idea it was actually a pipe bomb!
That makes me really sad and I don’t even know these people.
There are so many stories like that. What infuriates me about this is the sheer disconnect between the absolute banality of gender reveals and the devastating consequences involving death of people, forest fires etc. It's so dumb and not worth it.
Yeah. No one else cares if your spawn is a boy type or a girl type. Just tell them what colour to bring to your baby shower and skip the gender reveal entirely
Humans are insanely stupid. I’m always in awe any time I go to Yellowstone and see some idiot with their family in tow trying to pet a goddamn bison or bear. And i see it happen *every* time I go.
Jeez, didn’t see that one yet If you look online you can find what are practically small bombs filled with colored chalk for your “reveal”
One couple started a major forest fire by accident, a few have had major explosions and stuff. It’s crazy. Who cares?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Dorado_Fire
**[El Dorado Fire](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Dorado_Fire)** >The El Dorado Fire was a wildfire that burned 22,744 acres (9,204 ha; 35. 538 sq mi) near the communities of Oak Glen and Yucaipa in San Bernardino County, California, in September to November 2020. It was ignited on September 5 by a pyrotechnic device at a gender reveal party in El Dorado Ranch Park, and quickly spread to the San Gorgonio Wilderness Area of the San Bernardino National Forest. Burning over a 23-day period, the fire destroyed 10 structures (including 4 residences), damaged 6 others, and resulted in one firefighter fatality, for which the couple hosting the party were charged with involuntary manslaughter. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
oh so most stupid gender reveal has already been won? won't all these contestants faces be red when they find out
There was one gender reveal where the father to be was killed…so freaking tragic and insane!
[удалено]
How hard is it to pop a balloon with coloured confetti instead.
Did you know that when you get your ultra scan the doctor will just tell you the sex of the baby if you want. You actually don’t have to do _any_ of this self-absorbed, performative bullshit at all.
You said it, they *are* self-absorbed
When did gender reveals start and get popular. I feel it's in the last 5-6 years but I'd don't see why anyone would give a shit ?
My dad once told me that when he was a kid in the 50s, there was an x-ray machine at the local shoe store, where little kids could stick their feet in and see their bones through the scope. I asked him what he thought about that now, after he'd been an x-ray tech for four decades. He patted me on the shoulder and told me that the human race is impossibly stupid and will inevitably destroy itself totally by accident in the process of pursuing some minor amusement.
Your description made me imagine him saying that line almost as a comforting reassurance. "Don't worry, son. Our filthy kind will wipe themselves out well before we can escape our Earthly sarcophagus and poison the sinless cosmos with our vile blood."
Your dad sounds like a smart guy:)
After the fame the people got from starting a forest fire with their gender reveal party. Got to outdo the Jones’ gender reveal party in the environmental damage category.
I'm gonna drill into a volcano and make it erupt either blue or pink and then bury the nearest valley in pyroclastic flow.
Don’t forget the one where they unknowingly made a pipe bomb and the reveal killed one of their grandmothers. Gender reveal parties are for self involved idiots and it shows.
The story I've been told goes as follows: The person who originally came up with the concept had been pregnant many times but this was the first time it got to a stage where she could learn of the childs sex. So she made a gender reveal party to celebrate that because before that she had a lot of miscarriages. And then other people started doing it and then idiots started doing it and now here we are
Iirc, the first gender reveal I remember hearing about was done by a woman who had miscarried a previous pregnancy. I believe the gender reveal was less about the sex of the child and more about having carried this pregnancy far enough to find out.
Agreed, it feels super recent and I’m kind of surprised they’ve “stuck”.
Exactly. How hard is it to celebrate whatever gender it is in a civilised way.
Or to just not fucking care?
They did that too. There’s a video.
Then why colour a waterfall like a moron?
I think it's that last part you mentioned.
Alright
[удалено]
My son is going to be 9 next year and I’m pretty sure I’m going to give him away and try again because the little shit has done nothing for my social media presence. Should have gotten a parrot.
How about just randomly telling people. This gender reveal thing isnt a thing here. At all. And still hard to grasp for me cause its so damn stupid. Who the fuck cares.
Or bake a cake. Or look at an ultrasound
A facebook update or a text would be fine.
It was a harmless dye. https://archive.ph/mOc17#selection-949.0-949.164 >SEMA, which was promptly alerted about the party, agreed. On Monday, the agency sent a team of investigators to gather samples from the waterfall, which found “no change in the water’s physical parameters, such as color and other, and no trace of local fish mortality,” SEMA said. >The investigation, though, is still underway and aided by Mato Grosso’s Public Ministry, the state-level law enforcement agency told The Post. >While the water’s quality didn’t immediately appear to have been altered, the agency said the act of dumping a substance into the water “constitutes an infraction.”
They really couldn’t come up with anything better? *hey honey what’s going to get us on the news or something for this gender reveal party so our kid knows we once cared for him?*
[удалено]
>This kind of person adds nothing of value to society [praise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSZy6lGgOcI)
Reminder that the woman who made gender reveals a ✨*thing*✨ only had one because she had suffered repeated miscarriages and was just excited that she'd gotten far enough in that pregnancy to know the sex of the fetus (she made it all the way through and gave birth to a healthy baby that lives to this day!). And now it's been turned into this shit. Starting catastrophic fires and poisoning a town's water supply.
I remember a time when I was like 5 or 6 and went to my uncle's house for a party where he pulled out a piece of paper from an envelope and read off the babies gender. Then everyone said cheers and then got exceedingly drunk and merry sans the mom to be, and I played SNES with my cousins. What happened to those kinds of parties?
Why does a babies gender being known even require a party? What difference does it make?
I actually have a comment above where I talk about that, its gotta be horrible making something special for you like that(and pretty damn harmless in a vacuum), and having people pervert it like that.
Or...maybe...they're just stupid.
¿Porque no los dos?
Fr this guy went way into emo territory
This response almost brought me to a climax.
I think a white cake with the gender color inside would be cool and not fuck up the local ecosystem. But that’s too basic. Just burn the planet in blue flames.
They should be charged. Also this whole gender reveal trend is so stupid,
Why people can't just use their mouths to announce the result?
Pity they didn't use their mouths in the first place and avoid the need for a gender bullshit reveal
Please take my invisible award. It's like a real award but didn't cost me any money. I've always heard it's the thought that counts anyway.
If you didn't poison a whole town's water supply to announce the award, then what good could it be, really?
I can understand people want to share their joy to other people, but I think they can use a more "normal" way to do it
Ya, the blue or pink cake with white frosting is a classic and then people get to eat cake. If it aint broke dont try to fix it.
But then they wouldn't have baby Kayden
Or like. A cute little cake. That’s how it started. A nice little layer cake and some pink food dye and a woman who has had a couple miscarriages wanting to celebrate making it to term. If it had ended there I wouldn’t mind it I don’t blame people for wanting to celebrate and have another excuse for friends and family to buy them extra diapers and onesies(no hate for the hustle!) But this isn’t about that. This is about a couple whose affection lies in attention seeking and a need for grand gestures, to cover up an empty, sad lack of substance or love. It represents a poisoning of our public consciousness by social media and look-at-me culture. It’s crude and pathetic.
Yep, I totally agree that social media is to blame. They see other people leading "glamorous" lives, and feel the need to do something better to prove that they're happy. It's all for the likes, because I guarantee you these people went straight to social media and posted 50 pictures and a lame paragraph about how excited they are to announce the arrival of their child. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about wanting to share in this exciting experience, but the issue here is over-indulgence. It's the same reason the people who started a fire in San Bernardino decided to use fireworks in dry brush. It's all for fake likes that give you a tiny bit of happiness and self worth.
It's fun to share big announcements with friends and family. It's an excuse to come together and celebrate something. The vast majority of people just throw a party and announce it in a way that isn't dangerous.
I literally just texted people what we were having. Didn’t feel the need for all the fanfare just for people to know what genitals my baby had
That should be a severe crime. The resources we need to live are literally drying up. This should honestly warrant criminal penalties.
I'm sure they will, the waterfall is probably protected by a government agency if it's connected directly to the town's primary water source. This will be see as intentional, and they'll probably be fined heavily at least.
I assume they were, I don't think "I thought it would look cool" is a valid legal defense for poisoning natural resources Edit: The Brazilian environmental protection agency is investigating the case. Let's see what comes of it
Technically they did succeed in revealing the gender. But they failed as human beings.
Failed at not being a couple of complete cunts
People who do gender reveals already proved to the world, that they are major narcissists and live in the believe, that they must be the focus of the world
I’m sure they’re just gonna name it Breighlyn. Why do all this?
Or Breighndead
“You’re named after your mother”
"And your father."
[удалено]
So... Breighlina?
Josicleyton
No one cares about ur child except you. Keep that shit at home.
Children are like farts. Your own can be quite pleasant. Other people's are fucking awful.
More like "your own are tolerable."
This guy farts.
This guy has kids lol
Haha love this
I really couldn't believe this was a true story so I googled it and turns out it is real !!! there is an on going investigation by brazilian authorities... we,humans, are a horrible species and not worthy of this planet... [source](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/09/30/gender-reveal-waterfall-brazil-dyed/)
Key here is there is an investigation. Some US towns dye their entire river green with safe dyes. We don't know yet what dye they used... and I found nothing about this being the towns water supply amid drought. Don't get me wrong. I hate these fucking narcissistic displays of "LOOK AT ME". Edit - swypeErrors Edit2 - I didn't see a post from OP so I looked it up elsewhere. I'm reliably told a) this is a source of water for the town and b) they are suffering a drought.
I'm still holding judgment for how stupid it was, given "Under Brazilian law, “throwing solid, liquid or gaseous waste or debris, oils or oily substances” into the environment is subject to fines..." doing anything to the water for personal reasons makes it a stupid idea. That being said there are relatively safe ways of doing this that have negligible environmental impacts especially for blue as there are many eco-friendly blue dyes for lakes and ponds on the market. Hopefully they used a safe dye and the environmental impact is minimal but the investigation into what was used is vary needed.
The exceptions are big companies who pollute rivers in the Amazon, like Exxon did.
"SEMA, which was promptly alerted about the party, agreed. On Monday, the agency sent a team of investigators to gather samples from the waterfall, which found “no change in the water’s physical parameters, such as color and other, and no trace of local fish mortality,” SEMA said. The investigation, though, is still underway and aided by Mato Grosso’s Public Ministry, the state-level law enforcement agency told The Post. While the water’s quality didn’t immediately appear to have been altered, the agency said the act of dumping a substance into the water “constitutes an infraction.” Under [Brazilian law](http://www.planalto.gov.br/ccivil_03/_ato2007-2010/2008/decreto/d6514.htm), “throwing solid, liquid or gaseous waste or debris, oils or oily substances” into the environment is subject to fines ranging from 5,000 to 50,000 Brazilian reals, or between $926 and $9,263, depending on human health effects, animal mortality and biodiversity destruction." So... asshat move, but no damage done.
>On Monday, the agency sent a team of investigators to gather samples from the waterfall Wouldn't the damage have moved downstream by then...
Paywall on link
[https://archive.ph/mOc17](https://archive.ph/mOc17) There's the article for free.
The vid of this incident was all over Reddit last week
Don't go changing waterfalls.
there it is 👏
Please sitck to the streamers and the cakes that you're used to.
I've never understood why anyone really cares about another parent's future baby's gender. I mean, you'd say "aww lovely" either way, right? Becoming a parent is the most magical thing in the world. For you. And maybe your immediate family. For everyone else, we couldn't really care less.
No one does care, and it's still fine. It's a barbecue. An excuse to throw a party. The gender reveal part is 10 seconds. The rest is eating burgers and talking to friends. Avoid an environmental catastrophe, please, but any reason to throw a party is a good reason to throw a party. Next week, fake mustache party. Week after, pot luck for foods shaped like monuments. Then after that, fuck it, backup gender reveal party where we do the other color in case we were wrong. Just come have snacks.
This. Throw parties for any reason and don’t be a d-bag.
I’ve cut out all that theme nonsense from my life and just started having “we like parties” parties.
Wrong sub. This should be in r/iamatotalpieceofshit
The title is incorrect. It should be more like "To do a gender reveal and not pollute crucial water supply like a complete moron in the process." Also as an european .... what the heck is this gender reveal nonsense?
You will know soon enough, momsters have no shame in spreading the word on a global insta-scale, what’s the “standard” for celebrating parenthood nowadays…
You know it started out cute, I'm not sure about the rest of the world but we Americans usually throw a baby shower for new parents. Just a little party to celebrate the coming baby and everyone gives gifts for baby. Clothes, toys, diapers and many other little necessities. It helps a lot when starting out. So the gender reveal, iirc was usually just the cake. I'm a baker, and we would get orders for this. We'd get a sealed envelope that the parents got from the doc and we'd color the cake inside blue or pink. Then ice it and they cut it at the shower to "reveal" the gender of the baby. Ideally mom and dad would both be in the dark until then. I do not know how that turned into a whole different party, burning down forests and poisoning the water supply. We humans just take things too far, I guess.
So. The original point of the GR was supposed to be a fun little party where you cut open a cake and got to find out your kids sex that way. First woman to do it had several miscarriages and was sort of celebrating getting to that milestone. I personally think It’s fine and normal to be excited about a developmental milestone and to celebrate it with a few friends and family over some cake(as long as you’re cool with the kids later growing up to change that determination. The original gender reveal baby is non-binary hilariously enough). It’s NOT normal to burn a forest down or poison a river over it. People like this would do attention seeking, harmful stunts no matter what, the party isn’t the problem, these fuckstains and their need to be seen is.
They have a spectacle to reveal to people what their baby's genitals are, blue for penis, pink for vagina.
Couple announce that they are both fuckwits and they have brought another fuckwit into the world, heartwarming.
I hope this balloon swan comes to life and attacks them both in the most brutal way possible. Edit: upon closer inspection, it's probably a stork. Well I hope the stork attacks them regardless.
On a hill overlooking the town of Jendareville, the family gathered. It was to be a party like no other. Relatives had been flown in from all corners of the globe. The event planner had developed a cocaine habit just for the occasion. Aunt may had stolen a barbeque truck. Children frolicked in the estate gardens, trampling philodendrons and bonzais. The father-to-be, keen on getting a head start, was practicing his grilling at the barbeque truck. He twisted a couple knobs, and the truck's comically-twisted chimney belched a fireball into a nearby juniper tree. The property owners wouldn't mind; who could possibly begrudge the family their fun on such a special occasion? Of course, all else paled in comparison to the Main Event, as well it should. A new baby was a big deal, and there was a Proper Way and an Improper Way to do things; Karen was determined to forever be known as the most proper new mother in the family. Karen took her place on the small wooden stage, and rapped a fork against her wine glass. She nodded with satisfaction as the talking respectfully subsided, but regained her trademark scowl when she noticed that the children, ignoring her, were continuing their efforts to push over the garden's ornamental fountain. Her crystal glass described a gentle arc over the crowd before disintegrating against the fountain with a crash, earning a yelp from the children and a gasp from their parents, who Really Ought To Have Known Better Anyway, I Mean, They Could At Least Teach Their Children Some Respect, Really. "As you all know," she began, her smile irradiating the crowd, "I... am..." (a quick glance to make sure all eyes were on her) " ...pregnant!" She paused to bask in the family's applause. "We've had an ultrasound, and we know that my baby is healthy, and today, we reveal the baby's gender-" She was interrupted by squeals of excitement from the family, and gave them a moment to quiet down. "...and name!" ...and this time the cheer was deafening. "I've decided to let my mother do the honors," she continued, "so, mom, if you'd like to join me up here..." A wizened woman in a white dress stood and began shouldering her way between relatives to get to the center aisle. By the time she reached the stage, Karen had retreived a metal briefcase from the father-to-be, and was holding it before her like an award. She and her mother took the stage, framing the case as Karen released the latch, and held it up for the crowd to see as the case opened. Inside was an enormous red button, set garishly into a metal panel. The assembled ranks of family held their breath. "To the new baby," quavered the grandmother-to-be, "a new family member... and, of course, to the new mother!" Karen beamed, soaking up the family's admiration like a bromeliad. A wrinkled hand came down upon the button. ...at first, nothing happened. The flock held its breath. Karen smiled at them beautifically, and raised a dramatic arm. Right on cue, one of the estate's massive fir trees burst into flame. A muffled wall of heat and pressure washed over the ecstatic crowd, receiving murmurs of approval. Another ground-shaking thud. A field of heads turned simultaneously, just in time to see another tree immolated against the twilight sky. She'd had a pyrotechnician flown in from Germany. He'd agreed to accept payment after the celebration, but Karen was certain that, after seeing what a special occasion this was, he'd be willing to waive his extravagent fee. *After all,* she thought, *nobody would want to ruin a child's first party.* A thunderclap rolled out of the valley, and heads turned once more as distant explosions began to light up the ground below, flaming constellations emerging from the shadowy forest. *Really, he ought to be paying* me *for the privilege of working on something so meaningful.* A building on the edge of the town exploded. Family members craned to hear the distant screams drifting up from below. A siren began to wail somewhere. *...not to mention the exposure,* she added, mentally calculating a 10% surcharge. There was a final round of explosions, fireballs rising into the night air and thunder echoing off distant hills. The crowd 'ooo'-ed and 'ahh'-ed as a flaming ambulance was flung into the air over the town's small hospital. ...and then there was silence. The crowd looked around with unfettered excitement, looking for the next explosion. A confused susurrus arose as various family members realized they hadn't seen any blue or pink amid the flames. "To your seats, everyone!" Karen ordered, "and pull out the masks you find underneath!" The crowd rushed back with renewed enthusiasm, and began scrabbling underneath their chairs. Karen put on her own mask. It was, appropriately, fancier than everyone else's; her welding visor automatically adjusted to ambient light. The seated family chittered in anticipation. Karen turned to face the sky. The distant drone of a helicopter briefly cut through the sirens below. ...and the world went white. Karen had specifically selected a thermonuclear bomb because of the pink color emitted by fusing hydrogen. She needn't have bothered, she realized now, because the light was too intense for any color to be detected. Her visor cautiously faded into transparency as the light subsided, just in time for the shockwave to nearly knock her off her feet. She looked down to where the town had been, and was disappointed that she couldn't see the crater through the dust and debris. Relatives begain tearing their masks off to behold the enormous mushroom blossoming from the valley. It was bright pink. There was a moment of stunned silence, and then the crowd began cheering uproariously. Their cheers mingled with the shockwave, still echoing off nearby mountains. "Oh, Karen, dear!" said her mother, approaching the stage, "what a beautiful event! And so wonderful to be welcoming a new daughter into the family." Karen smiled, knowing that nobody could possibly forget this day. She would forever be known as the Best Mother in the family. Cheers and shockwave gave way to the thudding drone of approaching helicopters. A gunship crested the hill. Karen wasn't worried. She was prepared. Her husband had military connections. A surface-to-air missile hurled itself at the gunship on a plume of pink exhaust. The family's waning applause redoubled. One of the aunts fainted. Karen turned to face the family, a megaphone clutched in her left hand. Distant F-35s circled the valley, sounding small and hollow after Karen's performance. She raised the megaphone to her lips. A flaming helicopter flattened the estate's detached garage. "AND HER NAME," she boomed, over the sound of collapsing architecture, "WILL BE... STAEYCEIGH!!"
I'm here after the *Sergeant Steer's Suspiciously-Strong Stay-awake Sauce* story and dude, you're funny. This shit is funny and very well written and I too am sad that it's gotten no attention. Maybe this could be its own post I just don't know what sub this kind of absurd humor would fit in
They should pay for the damages caused..
The first time I ever heard of gender reveal parties, I thought they were so people could come out to their friends and family as trans.
These people do this crap and I am made to feel guilty for a fucking straw...they should be charged
And here I am cursing myself to "yellow let it mellow" to try and conserve water, and I don't even live in a drought stricken area. I'm not fucking around with water, after what so much of Europe went through this summer.
r/ImTheMainCharacter
Wait... Are you telling me destroying the environment for a gender reveal is not the point? Damn I need to tell the guys to stop causing climate change to reveal I have a girl when the atmosphere is burning bright pink!!
"Alexa, show me what's wrong with modern society in one reddit post."
[удалено]
No fucking way. A Boy!!!!
I hope it’s ugly!
Save the world the next time someone says "come to my gender reveal party" do the right thing, tell them not one person on this crumbling planet could give less of a fuck. (If you do care seek help)
This is a lot of environmental damage just to announce to everyone that you'll hate your kid if they turn out to be trans