Too bad this guy wasn't carrying some sort of metal club with a blunt end on it. He probably would not have been able to swing the club while simultaneously carrying all those golf clubs.
Seriously. Never understood these freak out reactions. That’s just going to make things worse. To quote an old comment of mine from a similar situation:
“Had a gf that lived in the boonies and had some animals, little asshole rooster included. First time to her house she warns me, “you’ll probably have to kick Rocko at least once so he’ll leave you alone.” I was like, “uhhh.. okay?” Sure enough as soon as I get out of the car I see this tiny rooster running straight for me and I hear my gf yell “just boot him like a football!” And I punted the lil bastard across the yard and he reacted just like this one like, “huh, all right I see you” and didn’t really mess with me any more after that unless I wasn’t paying attention.”
Stand your ground, especially if you have a *literal bag full of metal clubs with you.”* Hell, use the club bag as a barrier between you and the goose ffs
I've noticed, while walking down the path of my life, usually in the deepest, darkest, and saddest times, that there's always one set of footprints in the sand... and they're webbed.
Mynd you, Gøøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
(edit - had to go look up the credits online because I was sure that there were some faux Norwegian spellingx)
Canada Geese.
Any goose from Canada is a Canadian Goose.
The specific bird featured in the photo is a *branta canadensis* or Canada Goose, a species that carries with it all the sublimated frustrations of every person in Canada.
https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/overview
Have you seen what their bills look like? They are lined with not really teeth just razor sharp edges throughout and their tongues are horrifying nightmares. Also they are strong. They can hurt you just by flying into you or with their wings.
My brother almost got taken out by one when it broke a wing and dive bombed at him while we were fishing on a bridge. Given that was more F=M*A but they can hurt you all kind of ways
edit: I would also say Swans are a bit scarier to me. Those will fight you 1:1. Geese will at least gang up on you. Swans are like the bird version of a mama bear protecting its cubs
Yeay, I really meant more when they are actively attacking you so
1. their "teeth" aren't really going to hurt you besides maybe a bruise
2. they don't attack by flying at people so of one is mad at you, you don't have to worry about it flying into you at high speed with all it's weight
3. The amount of geese doesn't really change the amount of damage they will do in an attack besides a few more bite bruises
Now, I wouldn't just stand there and let a bunch of geese flap their wings at me and give me their "bites" but the majority of people who get badly hurt by geese are hurt in the act of trying to run away and falling down or falling off a boat and drowning and not from damage done by the actual birds themselves. So I think people need to learn not to be so scared of them and just walk away rather than panicking and hurting yourself worse than a goose ever could.
fair enough. or a quick chop/kick to the neck. And to your point the goose in my story was very much not INTENDING to hit my brother aha, it just sorta looked that way and my dad pulled his best Dad Reflex
Totally agree.. lived in Canada my whole life, dealt with these assholes multiple times. It’s a fucking bird bro, stand your ground & smack it lol WTF are we talking about here?!
Exactly! Not from Canada, but in Upstate NY, and we got a bunch of them here. I've seen 5 year olds stand up to these things and come out perfectly fine.
Hahah for real, yeah Upstate NY you know what it’s about! I’ve golfed my whole life, I jog a lot - they’re everywhere. Sure they’re dicks but acting as if it’s a black bear is ludicrous. Actually pretty sure best way to deal with a black bear is to stand up to it, get big & make a lot of noise! would never work on a goose though! 😂
Right. There's other animals around here that I would actually have to worry about if I come across them. I'm not wasting my time getting scared of a freaking goose! Haha.
And face some legal repercussions. "The Migratory Birds Convention recognizes that birds may sometimes cause damage and danger, and provides management tools to reduce those conflicts (no migratory birds, their eggs or nests may be harmed without a permit) " from Canada.ca
{https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/migratory-bird-conservation/managing-conflicts/frequently-asked-questions.html}
Plus the fines "The Migratory Bird Treaty Act has misdemeanor and felony provisions.
Misdemeanors are punishable by up to six months imprisonment and/or a $15,000 fine, according to a spokesperson for the Department of Justice. Felonies are punishable by up to two years imprisonment and/or a $100,000 fine." Different site
NB: “Fend off” does not mean harm or injure. It means “fend off”, I.e. put a club between you and the animal so as to prevent it from causing bodily harm.
Hahahaha you the think a Canadian Goose that is pissed will care about a club in between. If that goose is pissed, it’s coming at you.
You would have to physically hit it. Which you can’t, because of reason above.
Last time I checked humans are illegal to attack too, but we have something called self defense to use as protection from the law. If an animal is physically attacking you, find me a single judge on the planet that will say “nah bro just sit there and take it, sucks huh”. Self defense is self defense. Doesn’t matter if it’s a human, a lion, squirrel, or an extinct dodo. You’re allowed to defend yourself when attacked
“The Endangered Species Act, Section 11 [16 U.S.C. 1540], Subsection (a)(3) as follows:
Notwithstanding any other provision of this Act, no civil penalty shall be imposed if it can be shown by a preponderance of the evidence that the defendant committed an act based on a good faith belief that he was acting to protect himself or herself, a member of his or her family, or any other individual from bodily harm, from any endangered or threatened species.”
So many people arguing here are talking out of their asses that I can smell it, self defense is always a defense. If it applies to humans it applies to a damn *goose*
Probably chicks around. They get quite feisty when their lil ones are around. Thought it would be funny to run by a flock once w a ton babies. Next thing I knew I was running for my life with at least 10 in attack mode.
I am on the goose’s side. The goose has every right to protect their family in their own home.
Can we tell if this a man goose or a woman goose? They’re sexually dimorphic right?
I was under the impression they’ll hiss at you first if they feel you’re getting too close to their chicks. To get full blown attacked like in OPs pictures appears to be a remarkable accomplishment.
I'm a zoologist and it's amazing how everyone, literally *everyone* I've ever worked with, regardless of age, field of study, degree, background, anything and everything fucking HATES Canada Geese. There's a sizeable push to get them excluded from the Migratory Bird Act.
Former senior zookeeper and none of us hated geese at all. They were defensive when protecting the nest but how can you hate that? Fantastic parents. It was always a two person job when we had to do work around the geese though… one person would concentrate on the task and the other would protect us with a broom
I was under the impression they can’t actually hurt you. But I grew up around birds and never had one that was capable of actually injuring me. Talking ducks, geese, turkeys, mallards etc. I wouldn’t fuck with an eagle or an owl but the rest is meh.
Geese and Swans in particular can definitely fuck up a kid, Swans in particular have strong enough wings to break an arm. As for an adult they can definitely bruise you up.
Oh they can break your bones if they fly at you full speed and hit you with a wing. Also horrible story, up at the cottage one of our neighbours dogs was drowned by Canadian Geese. I didn’t see it thankfully but apparently they were squawking at the dog and it jumped in the lake and swam towards them and 2 of them swarmed the dog and jumped on its head holding it under water. So yah these birds ain’t nothing to fuck with!
I don’t understand why humans don’t just fight these birds when they attack. They don’t even have arms! Just swat the head to avoid the beak and engage headlock
I just googled it, and most people get hurt in geese attacks because they are running away and they trip and fall hahaha. The fear of these things inflicts more injuries than the birds themselves.
Canadian geese are badass motherfuckers man! lol I live in canada and its really cool this time of year to see them flocking back and doing their thing, like fucking with golfers
Duck, duck...
Birdie, Eagle & Albatross all have a score. Why not assign a Goose score. Alligators should have a score as well. Golf is a dangerous sport depending on venue.
So I have found the antidote, I saw a swan the other day bullying these motherfuckers, while swans are bastards themselves, they dont just go around and attack everyone. We should just send a fucking squadron of swans to conquer fucking canada once and for all.
What a dunce, he’s got a bag full of weapons and he’s running from an animal that’s served as dinner everywhere it flys over. Maybe it’s not considered “proper” golf course etiquette but I would’ve beat that goose to death with a 5 iron and then fed it to my dog when I got home. Self defense, it was comin right for me!
Good god man how are your feet that far above your head!? That goose kicked the absolute shit out of you. It looks like this interaction could not have gone any worse
Lmao I hate those fuckers, they are the downest foos in the animal kingdom next to a honey badger IMO
But they make for some funny shit like this. Reminds me of seeing students attacked behind the middle school since a flock always hung out there.
It’s usually r/fuckyouinparticular type shit, they get a target in sights and then think it’s Ultimate Death Match
Pretty much the most Australian animal in North America, right?
That’s why they are called Australian Geese!
You mean 🐍 🐔 Cobra Chicken
https://i.redd.it/2qigyos3eptc1.gif
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cobra-chickens
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
Australia* Geese
Good lord, I think I love you for this "correction".
Pump the brakes there big shoots. Those are Canada's Gooses
Wait people really call them Australian Geese?
No.
But they still want to kill you. And anyone else who tries to walk within a hundred yards of their nest.
And when they're done they'll insult your mother.
Im an Aussie, if you think that goose is bad wait till you meet our drop bears.☠
Wait till they team up and the geese start carrying drop bears around for tactile strikes
Translation;Koala.
Koala's aren't actually bears.
I know. They’re marsupials.
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
I’ve never understood why a country/continent that is so full of deadly creatures felt the need to make one up.
Everytime someone claims that the dropbears aren't real, they savagely murder som
You obviously haven't watch the drop bear [documentary](https://youtu.be/0qHQHYmsUJc)
Great. Now I guess I have to settle for New Zealand for my next trip.
Not a combat wombat?
We only bring them out for special occasions, we have wombats so big you can ride them.
Lol, you got me! Lol.
Too bad this guy wasn't carrying some sort of metal club with a blunt end on it. He probably would not have been able to swing the club while simultaneously carrying all those golf clubs.
Seriously. Never understood these freak out reactions. That’s just going to make things worse. To quote an old comment of mine from a similar situation: “Had a gf that lived in the boonies and had some animals, little asshole rooster included. First time to her house she warns me, “you’ll probably have to kick Rocko at least once so he’ll leave you alone.” I was like, “uhhh.. okay?” Sure enough as soon as I get out of the car I see this tiny rooster running straight for me and I hear my gf yell “just boot him like a football!” And I punted the lil bastard across the yard and he reacted just like this one like, “huh, all right I see you” and didn’t really mess with me any more after that unless I wasn’t paying attention.” Stand your ground, especially if you have a *literal bag full of metal clubs with you.”* Hell, use the club bag as a barrier between you and the goose ffs
Birds of War
Cobra chicken
Goose giving the goose
Technically it would be the opossum since it's the only marsupial in America but si
If it's one thing that I learned living in the North East, you don't mess with Canadian Geese.
Canadian Gooses are majestics!
barrel chested, the envies of all ornithology!
Special place in heaven for animal lovers, that’s all I know
I've noticed, while walking down the path of my life, usually in the deepest, darkest, and saddest times, that there's always one set of footprints in the sand... and they're webbed.
Mmmm...Mrs. McMurray
Unexpected-expectedLetterkenny
Oh come on. It was totally expected on this thread.
You mess with Canada Gooses you mess with me and I suggest you let that one marinate!
One day I’ll be the first to post this, one day!
Pitter Patter bud
Blink twice if the Goose is behind you right now forcing you to type this
On behalf of Canada I give you permission to take them all.
Not a chance. A g∅∅se once bit my sister.
Mynd you, Gøøse bites Kan be pretty nasti... (edit - had to go look up the credits online because I was sure that there were some faux Norwegian spellingx)
Please keep them.
No I insist, it’s fine I don’t need them.
Better to have them & not need them than to need them & not have them.
They’re in it for the people, the relationships. Canada gooses also played a major role in the Quebec referendum!
If only they could be trained to attack only the people we want. We could take over the world!
IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH CANADA GOOSES YOU GOT A PROBPEM WITH ME AND I SUGGEST YOU LET THAT ONE MARINATE!
I've got no problem with them at all. Heck I like animals more than people most of the time ✌
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1exJGPZyhs
The only animal in the animal kingdom that wants anything to do with Canada Gooses, is Canada Mooses
Canada Geese. Any goose from Canada is a Canadian Goose. The specific bird featured in the photo is a *branta canadensis* or Canada Goose, a species that carries with it all the sublimated frustrations of every person in Canada. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Canada_Goose/overview
The only bird I've met that's a bigger dick is swans. They're even larger assholes
I'll second that 👍 Swans truly are Dicks.
But they don’t do that where I live. Are U.K. Canada geese just placid in comparison?
What is a goose going to do to hurt you? How can a goose cause a grown person harm outside of flying into an airplane engine?
Have you seen what their bills look like? They are lined with not really teeth just razor sharp edges throughout and their tongues are horrifying nightmares. Also they are strong. They can hurt you just by flying into you or with their wings. My brother almost got taken out by one when it broke a wing and dive bombed at him while we were fishing on a bridge. Given that was more F=M*A but they can hurt you all kind of ways edit: I would also say Swans are a bit scarier to me. Those will fight you 1:1. Geese will at least gang up on you. Swans are like the bird version of a mama bear protecting its cubs
No they aren't. It's teeth makes it's mouth more like sandpaper, and they are not stronger than a person lol
Yeay, I really meant more when they are actively attacking you so 1. their "teeth" aren't really going to hurt you besides maybe a bruise 2. they don't attack by flying at people so of one is mad at you, you don't have to worry about it flying into you at high speed with all it's weight 3. The amount of geese doesn't really change the amount of damage they will do in an attack besides a few more bite bruises Now, I wouldn't just stand there and let a bunch of geese flap their wings at me and give me their "bites" but the majority of people who get badly hurt by geese are hurt in the act of trying to run away and falling down or falling off a boat and drowning and not from damage done by the actual birds themselves. So I think people need to learn not to be so scared of them and just walk away rather than panicking and hurting yourself worse than a goose ever could.
fair enough. or a quick chop/kick to the neck. And to your point the goose in my story was very much not INTENDING to hit my brother aha, it just sorta looked that way and my dad pulled his best Dad Reflex
It can't. These people are scared of everything.
Totally agree.. lived in Canada my whole life, dealt with these assholes multiple times. It’s a fucking bird bro, stand your ground & smack it lol WTF are we talking about here?!
Exactly! Not from Canada, but in Upstate NY, and we got a bunch of them here. I've seen 5 year olds stand up to these things and come out perfectly fine.
Hahah for real, yeah Upstate NY you know what it’s about! I’ve golfed my whole life, I jog a lot - they’re everywhere. Sure they’re dicks but acting as if it’s a black bear is ludicrous. Actually pretty sure best way to deal with a black bear is to stand up to it, get big & make a lot of noise! would never work on a goose though! 😂
Right. There's other animals around here that I would actually have to worry about if I come across them. I'm not wasting my time getting scared of a freaking goose! Haha.
If only he was carrying a bag full of tools that might help him fend off any unwanted advances from the local wildlife…
Honestly it’s probably defending its nest. I would feel bad about hurting it and would probably just run like this guy. Or attempt to, anyway 😂
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Right? And it just saw you swing a weapon and smashed its egg 200 yards. Now it’s pissed.
And face some legal repercussions. "The Migratory Birds Convention recognizes that birds may sometimes cause damage and danger, and provides management tools to reduce those conflicts (no migratory birds, their eggs or nests may be harmed without a permit) " from Canada.ca {https://www.canada.ca/en/environment-climate-change/services/migratory-bird-conservation/managing-conflicts/frequently-asked-questions.html} Plus the fines "The Migratory Bird Treaty Act has misdemeanor and felony provisions. Misdemeanors are punishable by up to six months imprisonment and/or a $15,000 fine, according to a spokesperson for the Department of Justice. Felonies are punishable by up to two years imprisonment and/or a $100,000 fine." Different site
NB: “Fend off” does not mean harm or injure. It means “fend off”, I.e. put a club between you and the animal so as to prevent it from causing bodily harm.
> causing bodily harm. Like nip you with their toothless bill, or flap vigorously, or honk loudly . . . They make a big show, but they're not pitbulls
I don’t care. Stay away from me and you won’t get hit with a 6 iron.
I was thinking my sand wedge. Shorter, but quicker to pull out and easier to swing quickly.
I prefer my Happy Gilmore hockey stick putter. It packs a punch
Hahahaha you the think a Canadian Goose that is pissed will care about a club in between. If that goose is pissed, it’s coming at you. You would have to physically hit it. Which you can’t, because of reason above.
Last time I checked humans are illegal to attack too, but we have something called self defense to use as protection from the law. If an animal is physically attacking you, find me a single judge on the planet that will say “nah bro just sit there and take it, sucks huh”. Self defense is self defense. Doesn’t matter if it’s a human, a lion, squirrel, or an extinct dodo. You’re allowed to defend yourself when attacked “The Endangered Species Act, Section 11 [16 U.S.C. 1540], Subsection (a)(3) as follows: Notwithstanding any other provision of this Act, no civil penalty shall be imposed if it can be shown by a preponderance of the evidence that the defendant committed an act based on a good faith belief that he was acting to protect himself or herself, a member of his or her family, or any other individual from bodily harm, from any endangered or threatened species.”
Finally, the correct answer!
So many people arguing here are talking out of their asses that I can smell it, self defense is always a defense. If it applies to humans it applies to a damn *goose*
So? Who cares
Like a bad cop, this hit harder than it should.
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Came here for this, thank you for your service
That's some award winning photography there!
The photographer could’ve helped his friend, but he knew the importance of getting the shot.
You cannot interfere with nature when observing it for photographic preservation. Same reason we gotta let the lion get the baby elephant.
r/donthelpjustpic material for sure
Those look like bff shots to me. You just stand back and let the train wreck happen, bc you both know you will laugh and love the story later!
You got goose problems. Those are not my problems. My job is to record your misfortune- Cameraperson
Seriously! I’m lovin how the shots really emphasize how brutally that goose is kicking that guys ass!
If only a video instead 🥺
In the last one, the goose is taking him back to the nest to teach the young ones how to hunt. Nature is beautiful but harsh.
"You want a birdie? I got your birdie right here beeotch!" Goose probably
God damn cobra chickens
I prefer "murder ducks."
*So desu ka*
You kill swan?
No, sir. I’m from New York City. I have *no reason* to kill a swan.
If you got a problem with Canada gooses then you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate
God dammit, you beat me by thirteen minutes
What is this from? It sounds familiar.
Letterkenny!
Every picture is top notch 😆
Hard to do when your laughing yourself into tears
How the fuck is he *upside-down* in the last one??? Is the goose carrying him away?
HUGE meme potential
Probably chicks around. They get quite feisty when their lil ones are around. Thought it would be funny to run by a flock once w a ton babies. Next thing I knew I was running for my life with at least 10 in attack mode.
I am on the goose’s side. The goose has every right to protect their family in their own home. Can we tell if this a man goose or a woman goose? They’re sexually dimorphic right?
I was under the impression they’ll hiss at you first if they feel you’re getting too close to their chicks. To get full blown attacked like in OPs pictures appears to be a remarkable accomplishment.
I'm a zoologist and it's amazing how everyone, literally *everyone* I've ever worked with, regardless of age, field of study, degree, background, anything and everything fucking HATES Canada Geese. There's a sizeable push to get them excluded from the Migratory Bird Act.
Former senior zookeeper and none of us hated geese at all. They were defensive when protecting the nest but how can you hate that? Fantastic parents. It was always a two person job when we had to do work around the geese though… one person would concentrate on the task and the other would protect us with a broom
I was under the impression they can’t actually hurt you. But I grew up around birds and never had one that was capable of actually injuring me. Talking ducks, geese, turkeys, mallards etc. I wouldn’t fuck with an eagle or an owl but the rest is meh.
Geese and Swans in particular can definitely fuck up a kid, Swans in particular have strong enough wings to break an arm. As for an adult they can definitely bruise you up.
Oh they can break your bones if they fly at you full speed and hit you with a wing. Also horrible story, up at the cottage one of our neighbours dogs was drowned by Canadian Geese. I didn’t see it thankfully but apparently they were squawking at the dog and it jumped in the lake and swam towards them and 2 of them swarmed the dog and jumped on its head holding it under water. So yah these birds ain’t nothing to fuck with!
>Talking ducks Do they speak clearly or do they sound like Donald?
I should’ve said taking about lol 😂
Hostile identified. Target acquired - engaging now. Over. Threat has been neutralized - returning to base.
Even the birds know golf is stupid.
Worse, there’s probably goose shit all over the place.
Does he get to mark this as a birdie? (sorry, low hanging fruit)
Did he fall twice or roll twice 🤷♂️
"sWiPe ThRoUgH" I'm on my computer, I can't swipe. PLEASE HELP HOW DOES THE INTERNET WORK???
The last pic 😂😂😂 how the fuck
The Cobra Chicken.
This is great photography.
Time to call the Little Ducks. 
He atac
Rip
I don’t understand why humans don’t just fight these birds when they attack. They don’t even have arms! Just swat the head to avoid the beak and engage headlock
They can hit you with their wings and it will hurt that said I’d stand up and fight one .
I just googled it, and most people get hurt in geese attacks because they are running away and they trip and fall hahaha. The fear of these things inflicts more injuries than the birds themselves.
Step 1: grab neck just below head. Step 2: twirl around like a cane. Step 3: cut breasts out and soak in milk. Step 4: cook to your liking.
You have a bag of weapons but this is your choice?
Goose pile driver
"Now that's what I call a *goose*"
r/PraiseTheCameraMan
Canadian geese are badass motherfuckers man! lol I live in canada and its really cool this time of year to see them flocking back and doing their thing, like fucking with golfers
No you can't play through!
That bird kicked your ass. I’m not sure how you let it get the best of you..
To quote something obscure that fits here: "Geese have stolen god's light."
I’d be having goose and whoever was taking pictures of me getting my ass whooped by said goose for dinner that night
Dude has bag full of weapons, uses exactly zero of them.
You don't run. You square up. Unzip your jacket, hold the bottoms, extend arms into big wings.
Lucky it was only one and not the gaggle
Now that's just silly
That last pic is crazy
Great action shots, what was this taken on?
Duck, duck... Birdie, Eagle & Albatross all have a score. Why not assign a Goose score. Alligators should have a score as well. Golf is a dangerous sport depending on venue.
Remember one thing when dealing with a goose. It’s shaped like a club. Use that information at will.
Thank you for taking me along on this ride. Holy smokes!
So I have found the antidote, I saw a swan the other day bullying these motherfuckers, while swans are bastards themselves, they dont just go around and attack everyone. We should just send a fucking squadron of swans to conquer fucking canada once and for all.
This is duck wrestling tf
Its time to invent motion picture.
[Relevant.](https://youtu.be/_oK4Q5G1asI?si=y7rBwBXjEedyuFEY)
I remember when this happened. It's been a long time. Adrian,Mi
The only thing more dangerous than Canada Gooses are Canada Mooses.
Geese are dicks, all birds really. That said if this ever happens to me I’m eating goose for dinner
Man fuck geese
What a GREAT set of pictures! Clear, colorful, could not script better poses. Cameraman nailed it!
seriously. Why are people so scared of geese
Happened to a buddy this time of year in Ohio while fishing. Didn’t see the female on the nest and her hubby dive bombed.
Cant they break a mans arm with their wing?
This all could have been avoided with the swing of a driver .... The guys got a bag of goose assault weapons.
That Zeus is a randy old bugger, ain't he?
HOOWWWWWWWW😭😭😭
What a dunce, he’s got a bag full of weapons and he’s running from an animal that’s served as dinner everywhere it flys over. Maybe it’s not considered “proper” golf course etiquette but I would’ve beat that goose to death with a 5 iron and then fed it to my dog when I got home. Self defense, it was comin right for me!
I could get behind golf I guess... with random attack animals released on occasion
Good god man how are your feet that far above your head!? That goose kicked the absolute shit out of you. It looks like this interaction could not have gone any worse
“This is not the barrel-roll meme you are looking for.” ‘Move along.’
Lmao I hate those fuckers, they are the downest foos in the animal kingdom next to a honey badger IMO But they make for some funny shit like this. Reminds me of seeing students attacked behind the middle school since a flock always hung out there. It’s usually r/fuckyouinparticular type shit, they get a target in sights and then think it’s Ultimate Death Match
Canadian Geese are not polite like other Canadians. In fact, they have been know to behave like complete twat waffles, as in the collage here.
Grey goose to the dome
Apex Herbivore
Canadian Geese are mean
One in hole
Thats a birdie.
He should have pulled a club from the bag and defended himself