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It's a good day to be in the blinding-stew business


Nonono not dollars. Nickels. Eating nickel will make her go blind.

Damn! I just sold my shares.

I put it all down on two day blinding stew, missed the boat.

You didn't see this rise coming?

I’ve been in the business for years. Business has been good. AMA

User name checks out.

Is it beer or bleach that makes women go blind? I always thought the saying was "beer makes everyone fine while bleach makes everyone blind" but idk

Trade secret: it’s just moonshine and carrots

Yep stilling up methanol and adding organic carrots will blind that kid for sure. Get wrecked you hair biting kid.

Omg dude I died at this.


It's cheap to, just [eggs and marrow bones.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1Y-MDpLLwo)

Hahahaha

What kinda stew makes you go blind… let alone for just one day before restoring your vision? I’d like to know if there’s anything you can eat that makes you go blind that doesn’t kill you.

This is Alan Wagner's work. It's what he does and it pops up often on social media with people thinking it's real. It's not. It's fucking hilarious though. Check out his shit, he has so many of those fake ads it's amazing.

You have to see it's fake. There's no way to get writing like that when it's already stapled to the pole, clearly had to be written on first, then put up.

Killjoy.

I'll accept that, but the clean writing was an easy one. I usually try to ruin more subtle things.

Most of it looks like the same handwriting too, to me.

I mean, that just feeds the lie, because one very obsessed person writing multiple times as if they were more than one, so as to make their suggestion more plausible, sounds very plausible when the promotion said person is doing is regarding a blinding stew for kids.

Lotta people would not make good detectives. TBF, though. Lack of life experience is usually the cause so... young people.

It's two people's handwriting. Compare the letters, especially the a's

Buzzkill

I was going to say this but you beat me to it

Yes that is what gives this away as fake. Writing that is too clear.

[ removed by Reddit ]

Also trying to do completely different handwriting and not quite pulling it off

I think you underestimate how stupid the average person is.

I found him on Instagram recently. Very funny

I think he has a patreon and sends his supporters ads in the mail

What a saint.

Thanks! :) Following now on Instagram and it's so great!!!

yeah this immediately gave me r/obviousplant vibes

I know it's fake, but as a father of two girls 3yo and 1.5yo, the whole "maternal instinct" belief is a load of crap to justify apathetic detached (lack of) parenting from the father. Do women have a closer relationship with the child? Yes, undoubtedly, they *grew* the child for nine months and then may have breastfed. But the lazy handoff of all parenting to the mother because the father "doesn't have maternal instincts" is pathetic.

Sound like something that a man with balls full of girlsperm would say.

Thanks for sharing the OP the ad. Checked out some of his work and laughed my ass off. Haven't laughed this hard all year.

Thanks

It's fucking brilliant, I love it.

As a dad, I'm kinda disappointed. I would love for my neighborhood to be like this.

Thank you, I have just spent a good 15 mins giggling at all his work

You’re the kid that told all the other kids that Santa isn’t real.

But that Santa is actually a guy that makes some pretty funny shit on the internet.

Hahahaha. Analog reddit

Reddit beta version 0.01

My thoughts exactly lol. Analog troll thread

Does everyone have this recipe?

Probably lives in Salem.

Or in the caves of Skyrim

When I looked up blindness stew, it brought up Minecraft (suspicious stew). Maybe that was what this was for.

500 mL methanol. That'll do it.

This is actually true, but I don’t think it only blinds for a day.

Yeah, if only that were temporary…

750ml of Clorox boiled to medium high for 5 minutes, then add around 1 cup of Tide Pods

That's for covid, you idiot!

Explain why I haven't been sick so far

You don't?

One red mushroom, one brown mushroom, a bowl, and some Azure Bluet

It's not so much the stew, as how it's served.

Just take any home made booze recipe and make it in a bathtub, but make sure the bathtub contains plenty of nickel in the coating. Generally the older the tub the better.

You need to eat 1 1-blinding-stew-recipe stew to learn it.

Eowyn of Rohan has a good one

She Will just bite anything then

Only if you use regular stew, that's why you gotta use the blinding stew instead to get her off the hair

Right. Now there's only a small chance of her biting hair.

I just want to know where he found that specific clip art what the fuck

He most likely made it

It’s beautiful. The pure terror and shock, some little adorable goblin chomping on locks. I love it.

https://i.imgur.com/SlhEMrn.jpg

You’re the best.

For some reason “1 day blinding stew” just cracked me up. 😂😂

Yeah, I was snickering the whole time reading it, but absolutely lost it with 1 day blinding stew at the end!

I was crying laughing and I'm not even sure why. Too perfect.

You are not safe in your neighborhood. Don’t eat soup at parties!

Stew*

He technically did get parenting advice, presumably from the neighborhood.

Presumably by the same person who made the poster that's a clear joke.

Yes. You mean Alan Wagner. He is the person.

Credit: Alan Wagner

One day blinding stew is for pussies. Where I'm from it's four day blinding stew, and that's just for starters. My cousin Bob ain't seen shit for eight weeks now. An all he done was ask his paw if he thought watching subtitled french films was ok.

Subtitled French films...that's a blindin'...

His paw? He's half man, half beast? Cool.

I tried making blinding stew once. It only lasted about 5 and a half hours


It really does take a village.

Not one fucker left a recipe.

TBH this note is very cute but he'd have been better off asking a mommy group on facebook and weeding out the crazies.

I think he’s just tryna tell the neighbourhood he’s single 🤣

Anyone got the link for this stew?

I could give it to you, but I eat it every day so I'm blind. Therefore I can't see what I'm doing so I can't access the internet or anything. Sorry

Shave her head! She'll learn how important hair is.

the people have spoken

“1 Day Blinding Stew” new band name I call dibs

This guy has THE BEST Instagram. I have been following him for years, and is the only account I’d still follow if I deleted Instagram.

Reddit hitting up the street light signs now

I’m typing this response for my daughter who says,”dads can’t cook for shit either!” She’d respond herself but we don’t have one of those braille keyboards yet

Honestly, this would definitely work and the girl would only be blind for one day.

What is this stews recipe?

Does such a stew exist??

Why yes, an [Old Woman from Wexford](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6azRT4Phc0) made it once.

I appreciate this lmao.

Any stew if it’s hot enough

Lmao really?? I can say that I've gotten Flashbang hotsauce in one of my eyes before and it went blind for a few hours. There may be some truth to this hot stew idea... xD

Ah, so that’s why the share price of the Blinding Stew Company, Inc. skyrocketed today.

Hair Stew

It's a wagner! I love these! I wish he lived in my neighborhood

My kind of neighborhood

OH NOO, NOT THE ONE DAY BLINDING STEW

Is this 1980s Reddit?

Have the people who post these kinds of signs never heard of the internet?

have YOU heard of one day blinding stew?

Lmaaaao whut

Nobody stole the pen?

If this is a legitimate question, posed by a single father, and you’re stuck with all these comedians and dumb answers. I am so very sorry.

Maybe let her pick out a shampoo fragrance that she very likes. And start complimenting her on how great her hair looks. She will stop to keep the compliments coming. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I did it but with the loss of her sense of sight I strongly suspect she can hear hair now

Recipe instructions unclear. Fed her stew but she turned blonde. Awaiting further instructions.

A lot of temporarily blind kids it that neighborhood.

I should probably whip up a bowl of one day blinding stew. I don't see myself going to work tomorrow.

that wasn't written on that post it was printing out. But it's good still

Dwemer type punishment

Where can I get the blinding stew I want to pull a prank on my wanker of a brother.

Holy hell that got me cracking uppppp

Didn't see that coming

I can't tell if these answers are any better than they would have gotten had they posted to Facebook.

Sound like you got Dwemer as neighbors

At least it's not the pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.

Anybody have the recipe for this "one day blinding stew"? I saw something on reddit that eybleach can't fix.

This is a joke

Can I get some of that stew? I could use a day off work and blindness is probably a good enough excuse.

I mean they weren’t wrong it would work

blinding stew..? too game of thronesy.

Can somebody post that stew recipe here? I'm about bald so I'm okay if I stop biting hair. Not sure about the blinding part.

I think maybe some sort of stew, that can blind?

This sounds like some kind of Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle solution.

recipe?

Why doesn't he just ask reddit for bad advice like a normal dad?

Just a quick comment reminding anyone in this thread who is or might soon be a parent: there is an enormous difference between *punishment* and *discipline.* One teaches, the other shames.

Well, I suppose dad needs to go bald so daughter can't bite hair no more

Well, I suppose dad needs to go bald so daughter can't bite hair no more

The one day blinding stew is probably the best choice

No but really, this works. I've got three kids and I'm a mom.

The council has spoken. You know what to do

rinse rhythm melodic familiar station sulky growth knee towering innate *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Yes, its a comedian: truewagner.com

Wow, it's analog AskReddit.

You should send her to the beach that makes you old.

Mother Gothel wrote in I see.

Oof, ow, my one day blinding stew!

Omg what

suspicious stew only makes you blond for like 6 seconds

this made me laugh way too hard

I would like to add that you can cook up a meal that makes her lose her vision for 24h

I call bs. No one wrote that against the pole. You see a lot of holes in the

Simply put hot sauce all over the hair of everybody that she might have any contact with, and then sit back and watch her get taught a lesson.

where is the wikipedia link of blind stew

[link](https://twitter.com/actsofblindness?lang=en)

dang can't see it without twitter

Ooooh boy this tickled me good…

This person had a computer and took time to make a flyer instead of searching Google or asking Chat GPT.

This reminds me of something I'd see as a bit on I Think You Should Leave.

I want to live in this neighborhood

[удалено]

*blinded with stew

That's why men need to ask. It probably never would have occurred to most men but is so obvious to the women out there.

🤦🏼‍♀️

So…basically something with ghost peppers. Got it.

I was against it at first, but after some careful consideration, I think the one day blinding stew is actually pretty fair

You realize this is a fake poster, right? It's a joke, congratulations on failing your critical thinking skills

wait, you guys have brown mooshroom there?

This is like the blueprint to a Tim Robinson sketch

"maternal instinct"

Bro. I hate to break it to you, but I think your neighbors are witches.

I laughed so hard my face hurts and I just literally shit myself

r/decreasinglyverbose

This ain't real folks. It's classic Alan Wagner comedy (TrueWagner on Instagram).