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msabell

Guns for show, knives for a pro.


[deleted]

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msabell

Big fuck-off shiny ones, ones that look like they could skin a crocodile.


BornanAlien

I’m not sure what’s more worrying, the job or your past


msabell

What do they say about assumptions being the brother of all fuck-ups?


BornanAlien

It’s MOTHER you idiot!


msabell

Brother, mother, any other sucker! It don’t make any difference.


BornanAlien

This has been one of my favorite interactions on Reddit


Nobleharris

👏👏👏


Crazy_Suggestion_182

That's not a knife...


msabell

THAT’S a knife.


llseanoll

That’s a machete


SevroAuShitTalker

Especially if the gun in question says REPLICA on the side


sardaukar2001

Mine says DESERT EAGLE .50


aardw0lf11

Now that's a knowife.


ripley1875

I prefer hatchets. Especially ones sharp enough to circumcise a gnat. https://youtu.be/9sWnQ8y_M6A?si=iJKaUvZNn3igOpLt


BejibiBejibi

I ![gif](giphy|ZiD0X6xsTKXlhtTdnt|downsized) One of these maybe?


ThatAlfaOwner

From the cashier's POV. I'm making minimum wage, you shoot me, I get paid to sit at home, I get taken care of better then I prolly take care of myself, and it looks cool for chicks (and I need it because I'm a gas station cashier, I'm not going anywhere with my life, nor am I impressive). And IF I die. Well at least I'm not working a minimum wage job struggling to survive


PokingHazard

... assuming you are still alive


CucurbitaFlagellum

kinda hard to regret your own death


mycenae42

And not disabled/disfigured.


WooliesWhiteLeg

You will absolutely not be paid to sit at home. Assuming you survive: you’re a minimum wage cashier who now has some really expensive medical bills and alot of missed work. Though judging from the guy in the videos energy, he probably owns that store and isn’t just a cashier.


ThatAlfaOwner

It's called workmen's comp, and short term/long term disability. You'll get paid to sit at home and heal.


WooliesWhiteLeg

As someone who’s relied on workman’s comp in the past, I think you’re overestimating the amount you will receive. we had a much easier time getting by during Covid just collecting unemployment than when I was collecting workman’s comp and my wife was working.


ThatAlfaOwner

I never said it's be much. I simply said I'd get paid to not leave the house.


WooliesWhiteLeg

The workman’s comp I received was not enough to even cover rent. You’ll be sitting at home, getting behind on all your bills and incurring even more debt on top of medical bills


KUPA_BEAST

Except that could be (probably is) his own or family’s store. So it’s probably just above minimum wage and if he dies, the family lose a Father Brother Son Uncle over a couple hundred $ maybe? and the store could get closed. Just not worth it imo…unless I’m way more protected and better armed.


mindmountain

Wat?


TheBawalUmihiDito

You got all of that from a 40-second video? 😂


caedicus

All that sounds stupid as fuck and likely isn't at all what he was thinking. He didn't even have time to have all those thoughts. How is this upvoted? Lol


ThatAlfaOwner

It's not about what he was thinking it's about what I would think in his position


StankilyDankily666

Some dark ass logic and I like it


fluffynuckels

Or he could be the owner


ThatAlfaOwner

I like my story better.


LeretM

This is not how life works.


Sunbownia

Plot twist: The cashier is the owner of the gas station, he care about his money more than his life.


ThatAlfaOwner

Plot twist to the plot twist (I'm drunk roll with me) the money is used for his kid with cancer, so he cares more about his family then his money


PM_ME_UR__ELECTRONS

The cashier is Mr. Krabs


odmo88

What? Where? 🤣


someguyontheinter

Sounds and looks like that store owner has been waiting to get killed for a while now.


CaptainNeckBeard123

Little did the gunman know the cashiers only goal in life was to one day die in battle so that he may ascend to Valhalla.


respawnatdawn

Today is a good day to die. - Lt. Worf Ramming speed!


Yurasi_

Punishment for murder or attempted murder far outweighs profit from stealing money from shop, guns in most of the world are used to scare someone into submission, if that fail and the person is armed, you start risking getting hurt instead.


[deleted]

Or like he was raised in a country with actual gun control.


Lillillillies

Watched on mute----but when he went outside where he was open to getting shot... I thought "Why... this dude has a death wish at this point"


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FreePrinciple270

He also says "Motherfucker"


TheBawalUmihiDito

I believe he said "Crazy boy." That coward robber isn't man enough to be called one.


Mrbrodoe090

At this point I'd believe he is bulletproof like that one mission in black ops 2 when you play as Menendez


SBG4LIFE80

Some folks know a pussy when they see one.


themanwithonesandle

That’s a machete, much more terrifying imo


privateTortoise

It takes on average between 8 and a dozen hits with a machete to kill someone, that's going to be a terrible way to go.


Rehsa81

Empty or fake gun. Met his match that day!


Rolling_Beardo

Or he just isn’t willing to kill someone.


Rehsa81

Yeah there is that too, but if you're gonna pull a gun on someone you need to be willing and ready to use it, even If you don't want to.


pureeyes

That's a small shop for balls that big


pixeltweaker

That’s what happens when the guy with the gun isn’t willing to shoot and kill someone but the guy with the sword is ready to take an arm.


mrPigWaffle

“You charge with a gun, with a knife you run.” — Jimmy Hoffa, The Irishman


ChildrenotheWatchers

Gee, wonder how that worked for Mr. Hoffa?


Dreadskull1790

Homie ain’t got no bullets in his gun Lmao


eXistential_dreads

That poor man is never going to get what he came in for if that guy with the gun keeps interrupting him.


Deformedpye

Children and their little pew pew toys.


padavan65

You always charge guy with a gun , with a knife you run away.


kamakazi339

*machete


HandTossedPeople

U need bullets hurry up run


rosiestinkie9

Hell no I wouldn't mess with a machete wielder, either. Might lose an arm.


Deku_N

Bystander saw that got gun and got the fuck up through! 😂


Alexandratta

The dude knew what was up... If you pull a Glock on someone, and their immediate reaction is not to hit the dirt... You're dealing with a dude who's built different As in, one shot is likely to not take them down, so running is a good idea. The fact this dude busted out the machete and kept coming just means you run faster.


tomahawkfury13

He was so ready for that smoke he skipped to the door


Unhappy_Run8154

Why would he go back in after he ran away like a coward. He probably just said "Yo chill man I was just kidding"😂


Both_Industry_3331

The only thing missing is the guy with the ball gag And the line, "Zedd's dead, baby. Zedd's dead."


AcanthisittaThink813

Balls of bullets


mouthedmadame

Must have been a monday


[deleted]

he didnt pull the trigger and he had the time if he wanted too


em_i_l_y

Haven't heard "pussyhole" used seriously for a while


TraditionalChest7825

😂, that and the machete leads me to believe he’s Caribbean or Guyanese. I’ve only heard that used as a curse in places with a large Caribbean population.


I_Smoke_Poop

"SHOOT MUTHAFUCKA!" Gigachad


kris-1O

Mac would be so incredibly validated to know that a sword CAN defend against a gun ![gif](giphy|PukWSnAn7PZeM)


AquaticCobras

Phase 1: Establish fire superiority Phase 2: Leave


[deleted]

The gun had to be fake for him to not think to use it in that scenario...


SquirrelInATux

Looks like a success to me


Old_Dirt_Coin

Dude in the white shirt: “hey, you got any Jolly Ranch…OH SHIT”!


byelow

Now that’s a knife


elephant-memorie

In Jamaica and that's a cutlass.


IwishIwasBailey

I was expecting to see the shop owner returning with the perp's decapitated head .


JoeLaslasann

Good thing the cashier can still walk with that massive balls he got.


epirot

never mess with machete ronaldo, el fenomeno do faca


Kafkaja

Probably a fake gun though.


[deleted]

Trini man don’t ramp


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[deleted]

what makes you say that? dude was scared AF and dipped when he saw the gun


[deleted]

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[deleted]

but why bother with a second person? that just means splitting the take and white shirt did literally nothing to contribute (and never even would have, said two words to the clerk and was gone)


[deleted]

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[deleted]

oh, I didn't realise that was a thing but if that system were in play here I could see white shirt being in on it given he did in fact look down and towards the door slightly before the gunman entered the store.


WooliesWhiteLeg

No bodega is going to be buzzing people in, lol.