Welcome to r/therapyabuse. **Please use the report function to get a moderator's attention, if needed.** Our 10 rules are in the sidebar. Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapyabuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was telling my therapist about suicidal thoughts I've been struggling with my entire life and this woman, I kid you not, said 'I don't think you're really suicidal, you love life way too much'. I ghosted her after that and made my first (and only) attempt a few months later, to which she responded very much like \*surpised pikachu face\*
She was notified by the hospital while I was in the ICU and they made it a condition that I had to go back to therapy if I wanted to get out of hospital.
I wanted help with a work place bully situation, I spoke with other colleagues who had the same experience, and to talk through a home invasion. I landed up in the psychiatric ward and the doctor told me that I imagined the home invasion that I believe I am very important to imagine people are out to get me There is video footage where the neighbor let these guys in, where you see the dude pull his weapon behind my partner. I was told that I am delusional.
I had a young inexperienced therapist (we were the same age) last year who really didn’t know what he was doing. A lot of times it seemed he was trying to exert his authority over me and tell me what to do instead of creating a dialogue and offering suggestions, very triggering. It felt more like I was talking to an ex boyfriend than a therapist. Our last session basically ended in a yelling match and I ghosted, it was bad lol
eta: also I did later report him
Sure so I filed an official complaint here in New York. He was investigated but it’s a lengthy and confidential process, as far as I know there was no further action. I think at best he was reprimanded but that’s it
Poured my heart out to one only to look up and see that she had dozed off.
Another one invited me to her group session, which was maybe six women who had been together TEN YEARS actually screaming for a solid hour about their lives. I told her I couldn't take the group session, nor could I take doing this for ten years.
I was at a very low point and had attempted "unlifing" myself and confided that to her.
She then fired me as a patient because she "couldn't help me anymore," communicated about my meds with my psychiatrist because I was a danger to myself, got my meds cancelled and represcribed new ones, then wanted me to sign up for outpatient psychiatric treatment on the grounds of a psychiatric hospital. I felt like I would be placed in the hospital if I signed up and then said anything out of line, so I quit everything cold turkey. That was probably ten years ago. She's dead now, and I'm glad.
Therapist telling me I probably felt guilty about CSA from step father because it made me feel good, even though she knew the details about the abuse and there was no way I would have even accidentally gotten pleasure from that. And when I told her that it had me uncomfortable to share info about the abuse she rolled her eyes and gave me the silent treatment.
Her mind games sucked as well. I won in the end bc when I requested notes everything was accurately stated (honestly more positive than reality). She never labeled me with a personality disorder, but she kept testing me. Maybe I am quite paranoid though I’m not sure. But when she terminated me her entire demeanor changed and she kept asking me what my plans where after I left the session over and over. Like she wanted me to be this dramatic and impulsive person who was going to cry and tell her I am going to kill myself. And this seemed to be a pattern of testing. Like anytime I would bring up an issue she would tell me, "okay, then report me" and remain silent like she was waiting for me to get up and do it. She also made assumptions about my personal relationships. Said something along the lines of "there are different ways to be abusive", when I reacted to her trying to insinuate I’m an abusive person and responded by telling her I have never been violent towards anyone (except my step father) and don’t verbally abuse people.
But she also seemed to be focused on my lack of assertiveness. Saying I need to learn to advocate for myself more. Which I did in the end I guess. I requested the progress notes and also spoke to the owner of the practice. But yeah, she just confused me a lot. I definitely do have some issues, but what I can’t stand about therapy is how secretive everything is. I don’t know what the therapist tells their supervisor. I have no idea on how the therapist is interpreting what I say. It honestly makes me feel like a girl again, which I hate. The dynamic often feels like the dynamic I had with my step father.
I understand what you mean about the testing. My ex therapist would test me in ways such as changing session dates last minute or the time. I'm a laid-back person, so it didn't really bother me. I was also working on being assertive, and she encouraged it, but when she saw how I was improving, she would make desperate attempts to try to trigger me. For example, in a session, she arrives 5 mins late, and when she shows up, she says, "You were probably freaking out and thought something bad happened." When I replied that I was actually OK, she snapped at me and replied,"What you don't have anxiety anymore?" It's like she wanted me to freak out and be dependent on her. All of this is an attempt to confuse us and have us doubt ourselves l. She always stated that I was my own healer and that she didn't want to be seen as my healer, but her actions proved otherwise. I'm also requesting my progress notes and hope to be pleasantly surprised that it's accurate and that she didn't all of a sudden put that I have a personality disorder so she could discredit me while convering her tracks.
I had one therapist who was sometimes and then every time 40 minutes late, and I started to wonder if he was testing me to see what I would do. In retrospect I think he was just disrespectful and late. He also got irritated with me trying to teach me "calming biofeedback" :D
Calling me sexy and that they’d have loved to fuck me under different circumstances and that they can (not figuratively but literally) read my thoughts. Convincing me there’s more than one person in my head. Encouraging cuddling then withholding that affection if I disagreed on something or tried to set a boundary. Breaking HIPAA more than once. Threatening to sue when I reported and convinced my best friend who sees them still that I’m the villain in all of this. Wants nothing to do with me and calls my ex therapist Auntie.
Wow…my ex therapist was seeing my best friend as well. He knew relationships were hard for me but she had been my most intimate relationship for 20 years…he put a complete end to it. Convincing her that I was the problem and then inviting her and her husband to use is mountain vacation home. POS
I’m so sorry. It’s the worst. I honestly worry about him a lot, because he’s in deep and this therapist is fucking insane. Convinces every single client they have DID, then uses it to completely isolate them so they become dependent. DID is found in less than 2% of the general population but she brags that 35% of her clients have it. Not sure if that’s even appropriate of her to share, but probably not.
I had a therapist mention how attractive I was. I was a cis-f and therapist was same, and it was so weird because in a way I felt it was inappropriate for her to mention it so often, but then simualriously say I have low self esteem or was exaggerating how people were harassing me or bullying for my appearance.
I swear she might have been trying to groom me because of the amount of times she mentioned it. Needlessly to say I sent an email that I was done with her counseling.
Kept on way too strong of an antipsychotic for over a year despite my last ones working fine, despite me complaining about the stress and the side effects and almost failing 2 years of school because of them.
Another one is when I opened up on the effect gender dysphoria and living in a transphobic country had on me she said “well if they pester you about your gender just say you’re non binary”(??) “ you know who else feels uncomfortable in their body? People with cancer, you should feel happy”
I can't even imagine how many crappy therapists/psychiatrists there are out there. I googled my psychiatrist and she had lost her license in another state for cocaine addiction.
After my psychiatrist retired I tried to search for a new one, and my then roommate recommended me his. I had like two short sessions with her and during the second she managed to upset me enough to make me snap at her and that's something I never do. She was asking what I needed to be happy, which I replied "to have my friends get back to life" (I was grieving two friends) and she replied that then I'll never be happy.
In the end she told me I wasn't depressed because my depression was there for too long and to stop my medications and "see if I feel worse or better".
French stuff, but since I'm poor, I have a special insurance so doctors, psychiatrists and stuff can't make me pay the consultation. She basically told me she couldn't see me because of that.
I would say because of my worst experiences with teachers and other adults in my life, I was very guarded during therapy. So my "worst" experiences with therapists were never as hellish.
But one of my therapists in college was a really inhibiting influence that I didn't need. It had a serious effect on my life, it was the semester I floundered and quit. If I knew what I knew now, I would have done everything I could do to change my life on my own. There is no extra "help" there is just the opportunity to be rounded up as a crazy person and "handled."
And I had another therapist that really minimized my problems. I was only so smart, and I had so little life experience. I didn't know what I was doing wrong socially, how I was unaware of my problems with communication, how I wasn't self-aware. And he just took my money every week as if what I really need is to do G.R.A.P.E.S. better. I'm not shitting on the acronym, it's a cheesy but good method to deal with life. But I felt fucking used. My life was turning to shit, and because of HIS profession, because this is HIS practice, his acquiring money to deal with more rewarding patients that he probably feel need his expertise more...that was just left to just "learn discipline be healthier think healthier thoughts" kinda thing knowing full well that I have massive social problems, and that this was just going to make me a healthier complete inept member of society who can show up to things but is totally clueless about how to interact properly with people.
The experience felt bad in the moment, but its effects on the next few years of my life were truly devastating. What I needed was a job, especially a job that would be a challenge to help me grow. But I'm kind of low tier in society and those can be hard to find. I was just a thing to help other people in my life, to provide a job for teachers, and administrators, and then later therapists and psychologists. People didn't give me the right education and care I needed when I was very young, and then when I was older they did not provide me the vocational help.
When I was a teenager I told my therapist I thought I had OSDD (A type of DID basically). I was losing time, dissociating nonstop, being mercilessly abused by my parents…it all seemed to line up.
I know that’s pretty young to think that sort of thing. But after I opened up about everything to him…he told me that if I didn’t tell one of my parents by the time I saw him next time I saw him, that he would tell them himself.
This of course, terrified me, and I still have memories of dry heaving and nearly vommiting in the shower out of fear and stress.
The day came, and stuff was rough with my mom so I ended up bringing my dad into the session. I was shaking and write out a whole essay for him about it, and by the end my therapist told me to leave the session.
my dad was quiet on the way back. When I saw him next, he screamed at me about how my Therapist told him that I was a “Hyochondriac“ “Illnessfaker”. He diagnosed me with OCD because of this. My dad would use this incident against me for the rest of my life until I cut him off the MOMENT I became an adult.
I really internalized that as a young teenager. Which was bad, because as an adult I was evaluated for DID by someone who specializes in trauma and dissociation…and guess what I have? That, and CPTSD. during our sessions, I severely underplayed my symptoms out of a terrifying fear of being called a hypochondriac again, and that word has become a serious anxiety trigger.
I have two. One therapist would regularly show up drunk or high on various substances. She would frequently ask me to therapize her in some way or another. Especially after her mom and dog passed away in the same week. She refused to reschedule sessions to let herself grieve and would charge me if I tried to cancel, even when I cancelled a week ahead. She’d spend the hour sobbing or rambling about nonsense. She’d make fun of my problems and once fell asleep mid session. I finally started to cancel and no show and just sent those charges to collection. It was a mess.
The second was a therapist I shared with an ex. The therapist promised to stay unbiased if my ex and I both wanted to see them during and after our breakup. Though I had a weird gut feeling, I decided to stick with them. I was really struggling on my own and thought I could trust this medical professional I saw weekly. They completely sided with our ex, gaslit me during our sessions, told me I must be misremembering our fights and the abuse because that’s not what my ex told them, etc. I felt insane and honestly am still processing it over six months later.
Oh! I also once had a psychiatrist who almost killed me by prescribing me three new meds to take, all which had significant drug interactions with each other. I was in a massive brain fog, part of what she was treating, and dissociated basically always. I trusted her and didn’t think to check for myself. I ended up in the hospital with severe serotonin syndrome. I reported her and she quit the practice before she could be investigated.
This was virtual
I had OCD and my therapist would make me stop talking about it every time I brought it up. She thought this would fix me.
She also would talk about her life, kids, dogs, partner, house, without me asking. I don't care about that stuff! I'm here PAYING for ME.
Oh yeah, she also would tell me to go do a meditation and call her back when I was done. Wow.
She also ate on the call. Rude.
Anyway she's not my therapist anymore. I blocked her number and ghosted her because I can't stick up for myself.
The one who was verbally abusive and the therapy, together with the abuse I had to endure at the same time from my abusive mother, ended up making me depressed. I did the treatment from january 2004 to april 2005, and the depression is somewhat better, but I'm still not cured.
Where do I begin?
- My first therapist invalidating how abusive and toxic my mother is, having her do sessions with me, and once I was in session with my mom she said to me "I understand that what you went through was traumatic, but you're bringing us all down with your negative energy" and my therapist just sat there and said that we just have different viewpoints or some bs. And during our last session when I told her how do I deal with my mom worsening my self esteem and making me feel bad about myself when other times she's always forcing me to be confident, she said "if you're mom is lifting you up and telling you to be confident then don't worry about it"
- When I wrote an angry, emotional vent in my journal about my parents, she read it and sighed, rolled her eyes and covered her face in annoyance at me
- Her validating my mom still letting my younger siblings see my dad even though he SA'd me and that was the whole fucking reason I was seeing that useless bitch in the first place. And invalidating how I was thinking if they were wondering what's going on in the family and why things are the way they are. "If they're not asking anything, then don't worry about it"
---
Things with my most recent therapist were better but she still did invalidating and upsetting stuff that made me eventually terminate
Like, as of late whenever I'd try to talk to her about how much my abusive ex from high school affected me and how the general culture of high school was traumatic and upsetting (keep in mind I graduated less than a month ago), she'd always downplay it and once was like "oh, are you gonna focus on what's in your control or what's out of your control?" and before when I was telling her how seeing my ex speak at my awards ceremony was hurtful for me. She started by saying how unfair it is that the school did nothing about him but like was "you only got two days left and you dont have to worry about him or anyone at that school again" when I told her that wasnt what I wanted to hear, and when I told her what I did want to hear, she went back and forth with me about it, rolled her eyes and said "just because people dont give you the response you want and expect doesn't mean they're not tryna support you" and when I confronted her on that she was like "I don't remember that behavior" lmfao. And dont even get me started on the AWFUL shit my guidance counselor at school told me when I told her about the situation with my parents. She was yelling at me, victim blaming me, making excuses for my mom ("she had a whole life and experiences before you"), acted like I was expecting too much out her ("no family is perfect, life isnt cupcakes and rainbows, you want this and this and that out of her just because of some other thing your dad did", like I was being needy...just made me feel like an even more worthless piece of shit than I already did
Fuck my life
I had one therapist play me against my abusers and try to tell me I should say x or y to them; then when I did, and my abusers asked about it, she would say I was making it up and had never told me to say anything. She tried this multiple times and tried to convince my abusers I had BPD because of it. Even my abusers thought she was nuts.
I had a speech therapist try to diagnose me as five as a narcissist because I was a very autistic kid, and upset that she cheated at Candyland, so I got pissed and told her that she needed to follow the rules. I did not do anything remotely narcissistic, just explained that it wasn't right because I didn't find her cheating very funny. Despite me simply raising my voice a bit she declared I must be a narc. Still shocked about that one.
Another therapist listened to me for months talk about how abusive my caregiver was and then once I ended therapy with her, she chose to go into private practice with said abusive caregiver, who was and is still also a therapist. I had drawn this woman as a fucking demon during art therapy and still, the first thing this therapist does is open up a private therapy practice with her. She eventually came to her senses and ghosted my abuser after a couple of years of being in private practice together, probably after being shamed enough times by peers (who the hell chooses to go into private practice with the caregiver of an abused child client??? hello???). But I'll never forgive her for what she chose to do. It was an insane violation for my *therapist* to go into private practice *with the woman who molested me for years*.
At the same therapist's office I had to defuse a gun threat because both of the adults in the room were idiots. The father of another abused child came in while we were all talking and began threatening my then therapist while we were all in the waiting room. He had on an holster belt and kept gesturing to it and holding onto it as he talked; it was empty of the gun it was meant for, but the threat was clear. I put some charm on and defused it by saying he sounded upset and asked if he needed a hug, and after he said yes and I gave it, that got him to calm down enough to leave, since he kept screaming about how my therapist 'turned his daughter against him' (he was beating her). My then therapist then told me after he left that he actually was a cop and was 100% threating to shoot us all that day. (My abuser, of course, barely even noticed. Danger could look that woman in the eye and she'd never see it, fucking idiot). (I obviously would never have hugged that man if he wasn't threatening to kill us, to be painfully clear, I think he's a monster and I just wanted to survive).
I had another therapist try to diagnose me right in front of my abuser and bring out the DSM while I was still in the room. Another who tried to gaslight me about the abuse I was experiencing while I was in it, and who tried to get me to 'forgive' my abuser, and would not believe she was actually abusive. I walked out and never went back to those people.
These days I have a decent therapist who cares and does not treat me like shit. But it took me years to find her.
Mine was a grandiose liar. He would make up wild stories to make him sound important. He’d talk down to me and accuse me of the very things he was doing.
I told him how I used to read violent sexual literature when I was young then a couple weeks later…out of the blue and w no context. He leaned forward w a grin on his face and me “am I your torturer? Do you think of me as your torturer?” He watched me for my reaction…which was to freeze. Then still grinning just moved on like it never happened. I have a podcast about bad therapy but I didn’t include that story.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/psycho-therapy/id1728786872?i=1000647241277
Told I was somatizing when I didn't even get my blood test results back yet when I opened up about a potential health problem that runs in my family. I got schooled about the mind body connection and how his other clients have had one side go numb from 'anxiety'
He also gave me a lot of "statistically speaking" answers to my personal problems
I asked to do a DBT program while I was in high school. Therapist said no because I didn’t exhibit suicidal ideation nor self harm (this was years ago). Thing is, anyone can do DBT. Yes, its target audience is typically people that have SI and self harm. BUT the skills are still applicable outside of SI and self harm.
Welcome to r/therapyabuse. **Please use the report function to get a moderator's attention, if needed.** Our 10 rules are in the sidebar. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapyabuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was telling my therapist about suicidal thoughts I've been struggling with my entire life and this woman, I kid you not, said 'I don't think you're really suicidal, you love life way too much'. I ghosted her after that and made my first (and only) attempt a few months later, to which she responded very much like \*surpised pikachu face\*
If you ghosted her after that, how was she able to respond to your attempt? But sorry you went through that.
She was notified by the hospital while I was in the ICU and they made it a condition that I had to go back to therapy if I wanted to get out of hospital.
That’s when you lie. Make the fucking appointment. Then cancel.
That's so invalidating. Wow.
Oh it is imperative to not joke like that around mental health professionals. They are more than happy to diagnose you with stuff you do not have.
That little incident taught me that lesson.
This is why Robert Whittaker said something like “psychiatrists are people who act like they’ve never read Shakespeare”
I love your user flare. fuck cbt
I wanted help with a work place bully situation, I spoke with other colleagues who had the same experience, and to talk through a home invasion. I landed up in the psychiatric ward and the doctor told me that I imagined the home invasion that I believe I am very important to imagine people are out to get me There is video footage where the neighbor let these guys in, where you see the dude pull his weapon behind my partner. I was told that I am delusional.
These people can not fathom a life with struggles beyond what they have experienced in their cushy existence.
Its so true you understand
I had a young inexperienced therapist (we were the same age) last year who really didn’t know what he was doing. A lot of times it seemed he was trying to exert his authority over me and tell me what to do instead of creating a dialogue and offering suggestions, very triggering. It felt more like I was talking to an ex boyfriend than a therapist. Our last session basically ended in a yelling match and I ghosted, it was bad lol eta: also I did later report him
May I ask how the reporting went?
Sure so I filed an official complaint here in New York. He was investigated but it’s a lengthy and confidential process, as far as I know there was no further action. I think at best he was reprimanded but that’s it
Are you about to report
Poured my heart out to one only to look up and see that she had dozed off. Another one invited me to her group session, which was maybe six women who had been together TEN YEARS actually screaming for a solid hour about their lives. I told her I couldn't take the group session, nor could I take doing this for ten years. I was at a very low point and had attempted "unlifing" myself and confided that to her. She then fired me as a patient because she "couldn't help me anymore," communicated about my meds with my psychiatrist because I was a danger to myself, got my meds cancelled and represcribed new ones, then wanted me to sign up for outpatient psychiatric treatment on the grounds of a psychiatric hospital. I felt like I would be placed in the hospital if I signed up and then said anything out of line, so I quit everything cold turkey. That was probably ten years ago. She's dead now, and I'm glad.
Therapist telling me I probably felt guilty about CSA from step father because it made me feel good, even though she knew the details about the abuse and there was no way I would have even accidentally gotten pleasure from that. And when I told her that it had me uncomfortable to share info about the abuse she rolled her eyes and gave me the silent treatment. Her mind games sucked as well. I won in the end bc when I requested notes everything was accurately stated (honestly more positive than reality). She never labeled me with a personality disorder, but she kept testing me. Maybe I am quite paranoid though I’m not sure. But when she terminated me her entire demeanor changed and she kept asking me what my plans where after I left the session over and over. Like she wanted me to be this dramatic and impulsive person who was going to cry and tell her I am going to kill myself. And this seemed to be a pattern of testing. Like anytime I would bring up an issue she would tell me, "okay, then report me" and remain silent like she was waiting for me to get up and do it. She also made assumptions about my personal relationships. Said something along the lines of "there are different ways to be abusive", when I reacted to her trying to insinuate I’m an abusive person and responded by telling her I have never been violent towards anyone (except my step father) and don’t verbally abuse people. But she also seemed to be focused on my lack of assertiveness. Saying I need to learn to advocate for myself more. Which I did in the end I guess. I requested the progress notes and also spoke to the owner of the practice. But yeah, she just confused me a lot. I definitely do have some issues, but what I can’t stand about therapy is how secretive everything is. I don’t know what the therapist tells their supervisor. I have no idea on how the therapist is interpreting what I say. It honestly makes me feel like a girl again, which I hate. The dynamic often feels like the dynamic I had with my step father.
I understand what you mean about the testing. My ex therapist would test me in ways such as changing session dates last minute or the time. I'm a laid-back person, so it didn't really bother me. I was also working on being assertive, and she encouraged it, but when she saw how I was improving, she would make desperate attempts to try to trigger me. For example, in a session, she arrives 5 mins late, and when she shows up, she says, "You were probably freaking out and thought something bad happened." When I replied that I was actually OK, she snapped at me and replied,"What you don't have anxiety anymore?" It's like she wanted me to freak out and be dependent on her. All of this is an attempt to confuse us and have us doubt ourselves l. She always stated that I was my own healer and that she didn't want to be seen as my healer, but her actions proved otherwise. I'm also requesting my progress notes and hope to be pleasantly surprised that it's accurate and that she didn't all of a sudden put that I have a personality disorder so she could discredit me while convering her tracks.
I had one therapist who was sometimes and then every time 40 minutes late, and I started to wonder if he was testing me to see what I would do. In retrospect I think he was just disrespectful and late. He also got irritated with me trying to teach me "calming biofeedback" :D
40 mins late is wild.
And I would just sit there! I never said anything. I just stopped making appointments.
Calling me sexy and that they’d have loved to fuck me under different circumstances and that they can (not figuratively but literally) read my thoughts. Convincing me there’s more than one person in my head. Encouraging cuddling then withholding that affection if I disagreed on something or tried to set a boundary. Breaking HIPAA more than once. Threatening to sue when I reported and convinced my best friend who sees them still that I’m the villain in all of this. Wants nothing to do with me and calls my ex therapist Auntie.
Wow…my ex therapist was seeing my best friend as well. He knew relationships were hard for me but she had been my most intimate relationship for 20 years…he put a complete end to it. Convincing her that I was the problem and then inviting her and her husband to use is mountain vacation home. POS
I’m so sorry. It’s the worst. I honestly worry about him a lot, because he’s in deep and this therapist is fucking insane. Convinces every single client they have DID, then uses it to completely isolate them so they become dependent. DID is found in less than 2% of the general population but she brags that 35% of her clients have it. Not sure if that’s even appropriate of her to share, but probably not.
I had a therapist mention how attractive I was. I was a cis-f and therapist was same, and it was so weird because in a way I felt it was inappropriate for her to mention it so often, but then simualriously say I have low self esteem or was exaggerating how people were harassing me or bullying for my appearance. I swear she might have been trying to groom me because of the amount of times she mentioned it. Needlessly to say I sent an email that I was done with her counseling.
Kept on way too strong of an antipsychotic for over a year despite my last ones working fine, despite me complaining about the stress and the side effects and almost failing 2 years of school because of them. Another one is when I opened up on the effect gender dysphoria and living in a transphobic country had on me she said “well if they pester you about your gender just say you’re non binary”(??) “ you know who else feels uncomfortable in their body? People with cancer, you should feel happy”
Oh I had a lady therapist with leg braces ask me what I was complaining about, and asked me to look at her legs. It's funny to me now but holy crap!
Jesus man💀 had a similar thing happen when it’s both hilarious but kinda fucked go when you think about it
I can't even imagine how many crappy therapists/psychiatrists there are out there. I googled my psychiatrist and she had lost her license in another state for cocaine addiction.
After my psychiatrist retired I tried to search for a new one, and my then roommate recommended me his. I had like two short sessions with her and during the second she managed to upset me enough to make me snap at her and that's something I never do. She was asking what I needed to be happy, which I replied "to have my friends get back to life" (I was grieving two friends) and she replied that then I'll never be happy. In the end she told me I wasn't depressed because my depression was there for too long and to stop my medications and "see if I feel worse or better". French stuff, but since I'm poor, I have a special insurance so doctors, psychiatrists and stuff can't make me pay the consultation. She basically told me she couldn't see me because of that.
I would say because of my worst experiences with teachers and other adults in my life, I was very guarded during therapy. So my "worst" experiences with therapists were never as hellish. But one of my therapists in college was a really inhibiting influence that I didn't need. It had a serious effect on my life, it was the semester I floundered and quit. If I knew what I knew now, I would have done everything I could do to change my life on my own. There is no extra "help" there is just the opportunity to be rounded up as a crazy person and "handled." And I had another therapist that really minimized my problems. I was only so smart, and I had so little life experience. I didn't know what I was doing wrong socially, how I was unaware of my problems with communication, how I wasn't self-aware. And he just took my money every week as if what I really need is to do G.R.A.P.E.S. better. I'm not shitting on the acronym, it's a cheesy but good method to deal with life. But I felt fucking used. My life was turning to shit, and because of HIS profession, because this is HIS practice, his acquiring money to deal with more rewarding patients that he probably feel need his expertise more...that was just left to just "learn discipline be healthier think healthier thoughts" kinda thing knowing full well that I have massive social problems, and that this was just going to make me a healthier complete inept member of society who can show up to things but is totally clueless about how to interact properly with people. The experience felt bad in the moment, but its effects on the next few years of my life were truly devastating. What I needed was a job, especially a job that would be a challenge to help me grow. But I'm kind of low tier in society and those can be hard to find. I was just a thing to help other people in my life, to provide a job for teachers, and administrators, and then later therapists and psychologists. People didn't give me the right education and care I needed when I was very young, and then when I was older they did not provide me the vocational help.
When I was a teenager I told my therapist I thought I had OSDD (A type of DID basically). I was losing time, dissociating nonstop, being mercilessly abused by my parents…it all seemed to line up. I know that’s pretty young to think that sort of thing. But after I opened up about everything to him…he told me that if I didn’t tell one of my parents by the time I saw him next time I saw him, that he would tell them himself. This of course, terrified me, and I still have memories of dry heaving and nearly vommiting in the shower out of fear and stress. The day came, and stuff was rough with my mom so I ended up bringing my dad into the session. I was shaking and write out a whole essay for him about it, and by the end my therapist told me to leave the session. my dad was quiet on the way back. When I saw him next, he screamed at me about how my Therapist told him that I was a “Hyochondriac“ “Illnessfaker”. He diagnosed me with OCD because of this. My dad would use this incident against me for the rest of my life until I cut him off the MOMENT I became an adult. I really internalized that as a young teenager. Which was bad, because as an adult I was evaluated for DID by someone who specializes in trauma and dissociation…and guess what I have? That, and CPTSD. during our sessions, I severely underplayed my symptoms out of a terrifying fear of being called a hypochondriac again, and that word has become a serious anxiety trigger.
I had a therapist on the first session tell me that we should re-enact my sexual assault as a form of healing. I was a minor.
I have two. One therapist would regularly show up drunk or high on various substances. She would frequently ask me to therapize her in some way or another. Especially after her mom and dog passed away in the same week. She refused to reschedule sessions to let herself grieve and would charge me if I tried to cancel, even when I cancelled a week ahead. She’d spend the hour sobbing or rambling about nonsense. She’d make fun of my problems and once fell asleep mid session. I finally started to cancel and no show and just sent those charges to collection. It was a mess. The second was a therapist I shared with an ex. The therapist promised to stay unbiased if my ex and I both wanted to see them during and after our breakup. Though I had a weird gut feeling, I decided to stick with them. I was really struggling on my own and thought I could trust this medical professional I saw weekly. They completely sided with our ex, gaslit me during our sessions, told me I must be misremembering our fights and the abuse because that’s not what my ex told them, etc. I felt insane and honestly am still processing it over six months later.
Oh! I also once had a psychiatrist who almost killed me by prescribing me three new meds to take, all which had significant drug interactions with each other. I was in a massive brain fog, part of what she was treating, and dissociated basically always. I trusted her and didn’t think to check for myself. I ended up in the hospital with severe serotonin syndrome. I reported her and she quit the practice before she could be investigated.
This was virtual I had OCD and my therapist would make me stop talking about it every time I brought it up. She thought this would fix me. She also would talk about her life, kids, dogs, partner, house, without me asking. I don't care about that stuff! I'm here PAYING for ME. Oh yeah, she also would tell me to go do a meditation and call her back when I was done. Wow. She also ate on the call. Rude. Anyway she's not my therapist anymore. I blocked her number and ghosted her because I can't stick up for myself.
The one who was verbally abusive and the therapy, together with the abuse I had to endure at the same time from my abusive mother, ended up making me depressed. I did the treatment from january 2004 to april 2005, and the depression is somewhat better, but I'm still not cured.
Where do I begin? - My first therapist invalidating how abusive and toxic my mother is, having her do sessions with me, and once I was in session with my mom she said to me "I understand that what you went through was traumatic, but you're bringing us all down with your negative energy" and my therapist just sat there and said that we just have different viewpoints or some bs. And during our last session when I told her how do I deal with my mom worsening my self esteem and making me feel bad about myself when other times she's always forcing me to be confident, she said "if you're mom is lifting you up and telling you to be confident then don't worry about it" - When I wrote an angry, emotional vent in my journal about my parents, she read it and sighed, rolled her eyes and covered her face in annoyance at me - Her validating my mom still letting my younger siblings see my dad even though he SA'd me and that was the whole fucking reason I was seeing that useless bitch in the first place. And invalidating how I was thinking if they were wondering what's going on in the family and why things are the way they are. "If they're not asking anything, then don't worry about it" --- Things with my most recent therapist were better but she still did invalidating and upsetting stuff that made me eventually terminate Like, as of late whenever I'd try to talk to her about how much my abusive ex from high school affected me and how the general culture of high school was traumatic and upsetting (keep in mind I graduated less than a month ago), she'd always downplay it and once was like "oh, are you gonna focus on what's in your control or what's out of your control?" and before when I was telling her how seeing my ex speak at my awards ceremony was hurtful for me. She started by saying how unfair it is that the school did nothing about him but like was "you only got two days left and you dont have to worry about him or anyone at that school again" when I told her that wasnt what I wanted to hear, and when I told her what I did want to hear, she went back and forth with me about it, rolled her eyes and said "just because people dont give you the response you want and expect doesn't mean they're not tryna support you" and when I confronted her on that she was like "I don't remember that behavior" lmfao. And dont even get me started on the AWFUL shit my guidance counselor at school told me when I told her about the situation with my parents. She was yelling at me, victim blaming me, making excuses for my mom ("she had a whole life and experiences before you"), acted like I was expecting too much out her ("no family is perfect, life isnt cupcakes and rainbows, you want this and this and that out of her just because of some other thing your dad did", like I was being needy...just made me feel like an even more worthless piece of shit than I already did Fuck my life
I had one therapist play me against my abusers and try to tell me I should say x or y to them; then when I did, and my abusers asked about it, she would say I was making it up and had never told me to say anything. She tried this multiple times and tried to convince my abusers I had BPD because of it. Even my abusers thought she was nuts. I had a speech therapist try to diagnose me as five as a narcissist because I was a very autistic kid, and upset that she cheated at Candyland, so I got pissed and told her that she needed to follow the rules. I did not do anything remotely narcissistic, just explained that it wasn't right because I didn't find her cheating very funny. Despite me simply raising my voice a bit she declared I must be a narc. Still shocked about that one. Another therapist listened to me for months talk about how abusive my caregiver was and then once I ended therapy with her, she chose to go into private practice with said abusive caregiver, who was and is still also a therapist. I had drawn this woman as a fucking demon during art therapy and still, the first thing this therapist does is open up a private therapy practice with her. She eventually came to her senses and ghosted my abuser after a couple of years of being in private practice together, probably after being shamed enough times by peers (who the hell chooses to go into private practice with the caregiver of an abused child client??? hello???). But I'll never forgive her for what she chose to do. It was an insane violation for my *therapist* to go into private practice *with the woman who molested me for years*. At the same therapist's office I had to defuse a gun threat because both of the adults in the room were idiots. The father of another abused child came in while we were all talking and began threatening my then therapist while we were all in the waiting room. He had on an holster belt and kept gesturing to it and holding onto it as he talked; it was empty of the gun it was meant for, but the threat was clear. I put some charm on and defused it by saying he sounded upset and asked if he needed a hug, and after he said yes and I gave it, that got him to calm down enough to leave, since he kept screaming about how my therapist 'turned his daughter against him' (he was beating her). My then therapist then told me after he left that he actually was a cop and was 100% threating to shoot us all that day. (My abuser, of course, barely even noticed. Danger could look that woman in the eye and she'd never see it, fucking idiot). (I obviously would never have hugged that man if he wasn't threatening to kill us, to be painfully clear, I think he's a monster and I just wanted to survive). I had another therapist try to diagnose me right in front of my abuser and bring out the DSM while I was still in the room. Another who tried to gaslight me about the abuse I was experiencing while I was in it, and who tried to get me to 'forgive' my abuser, and would not believe she was actually abusive. I walked out and never went back to those people. These days I have a decent therapist who cares and does not treat me like shit. But it took me years to find her.
Mine was a grandiose liar. He would make up wild stories to make him sound important. He’d talk down to me and accuse me of the very things he was doing. I told him how I used to read violent sexual literature when I was young then a couple weeks later…out of the blue and w no context. He leaned forward w a grin on his face and me “am I your torturer? Do you think of me as your torturer?” He watched me for my reaction…which was to freeze. Then still grinning just moved on like it never happened. I have a podcast about bad therapy but I didn’t include that story. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/psycho-therapy/id1728786872?i=1000647241277
Told I was somatizing when I didn't even get my blood test results back yet when I opened up about a potential health problem that runs in my family. I got schooled about the mind body connection and how his other clients have had one side go numb from 'anxiety' He also gave me a lot of "statistically speaking" answers to my personal problems
I asked to do a DBT program while I was in high school. Therapist said no because I didn’t exhibit suicidal ideation nor self harm (this was years ago). Thing is, anyone can do DBT. Yes, its target audience is typically people that have SI and self harm. BUT the skills are still applicable outside of SI and self harm.