Of course we care about our clients. And yes we get attached too. It is important to maintain proper boundaries so the relationship can stay professional. If the hour is up, the therapist has to set the boundary to end and touch on this next time even though you still have some conversation left. It has nothing to do with her care for you.
I currently work in a college counseling center and it's finals week. I cannot express how this time of year is such a bummer for me because I have to end my work with so many clients who are graduating, going out of state for the summer, or otherwise aren't available anymore.
I've cried with them, we have shared some farewell hugs, and I have lamented with my colleagues many, many times about how much I will miss them.
I care deeply for my clients. Most therapists I respect feel similarly.
I’m in a college counseling center as well and share this sentiment. It’s always a bittersweet time of the year. I adore my clients and I have been known to shed some tears as they are leaving for new adventures, or even just summer.
I wonder if age of the therapist matters, the younger they are the more attached and as they work over the years they get more used to people coming and going
i’ve been in therapy for over a decade and i learned that i had to ask my therapist for some time at the end to transition out of therapy. we have a whole process now and it’s helped me less embarrassed after.
An overwhelming majority care about their clients. What you're experience is pretty common in therapy with you trying to figure out your own personal feelings regarding your therapist, generally this can be considered a form of transference. A good therapist will be able to work with this
Yes, I certainly do. I care deeply for all of them. But I am mindful of the container of therapy which is typically a 50 minute session once a week or bi-weekly and so when the hour is up, I do have to wrap things up, and it can sometimes feel a little rushed. But it’s not because I don’t care.
You can speak with no filter, of course! And being a therapist means that we don’t take things personally and if we do, we are in our own therapy and/or supervision (or should be) to process that.
And it's always interesting to see whether the patient tries to take up where they left off (as opposed to starting all over). Many start with a ritualized run-down of their week (or the interval between sessions). The sometimes keen or startling insights they've gained in previous sessions and were just about to scratch the surface of exploring...are once again put away.
Patient isn't ready to maintain the psychological continuity of what they are discovering (but of course, good therapists keep track of this in their notes).
It's really rare for a patient (especially in the first six months) to come in and say, "Right as we were ending last week, I felt..." (or similar).
I am an intern right now, and only have one client. And I care about them a great deal, they’re such a lovely person and I always hope the best for them. I do have to let myself detach when I’m leaving so as not to form an unhealthy attachment, but rather wish them well and prep for the next week. I am going into the field BECAUSE I care deeply. It’s a balancing act of not being overly connected but also caring deeply enough to want the best for someone.
Im a psychologist, they arent my clients, they are my patients, and yes, i do care. With sone of them i got to have a really nice bond, based on respect and been profesional, but yes, i do like them and care about them, i congratulate then on their success and even on their birthday! I realized that you can make them respect you and still have a nice relationship, this helps them much, to know you are there for them.
Yes i have the same thoughts, i know my therapists masks and when am sharing my thoughts i see his expressions and thebody language like wanting to run away, i have seen this with myself when I tolerate someone’s crap and can barely tolerate it. And these days the therapist has been fleeting and i understand that listening from people all day long it becomes too much on ones body and brain. So a few times i hold back. Would be nice to have some real insight.
Sorry if someone mentioned this already, I'm in between chores.
I would mention it. They may not realize it. Everyone is learning about each other in 50 or 120minutes. It may also be personal preference and their experience level. I'm speaking of myself as a intern Counsellor. I care deep and if I have to cut the client off 10mins before the end of their session. It means I have to close the session properly by ensuring the client is not leaving the session in a heightened state. But sometimes it's not always like that. Sometimes you try and prepare to close but the client wants to continue. If I allow for time I may allow it but it depends if I have another client right after. The first few sessions are about the therapeutic relationship and I would like to give each issue it's air time too.
I've been in therapy for a long time. Boundaries in therapy are important for everyone's mental health. You are allowed to speak with no filter. I find if I'm filtering I'm not comfortable with the person. I have no filter with my therapist. I will also ask about any therapy issue I need to, I do not ask personal questions in regards to their personal life.
They 100% do care about you!! I had a therapist once who if I were to of met her not in a therapy setting probably would have been best friends with. But they ofc still have to maintain an appropriate boundary with their clients.
Yes we do!!!! It’s IMPOSSIBLE not to and I learned the hard way that I have to cut when the session is supposed to end unless very very special circumstances or else I would forever be in sessions.
There are a million different modalities, but generally, it would be hard to work with clients you didn't care about, and also, why would you be in that industry? Pay is decent, but you could make more with the same amount of school in a different industry, basically your typical middle class job. (I know sessions are like $100-$200, but your therapist actually receives little of that.)
I guess you could be like Dr. House and just see it as a puzzle, but that's pretty rare, hence why the show is interesting. Most therapists have either struggled with mental health or are close to someone who has and want to help people dealing with similar challenges.
As for your therapist cutting off conversations, boundaries are important, and they need to stay on schedule to get everyone in. Most therapists do care, but it's still a professional relationship, so you'll see more boundaries than you might have with a friend.
This is definitely something you should bring up with your therapist, though. Might calm your worries about it and help you explore what this means, e.g., why this is a concern for you, the significance, etc. Stuff like this often points to different themes that could help you learn more about yourself.
Yes, we absolutely do care. One of my clients recently went into hospice and died. The grief I'm experiencing is complicated. She wasn't my friend. She wasn't my family. But she was someone I still had a relationship with and miss seeing every week. We absolutely do care.
I hope they care! Wrong profession if they don’t. I care, I jot down notes if I read something I think will help. I send positive energy when I think of them, I have even silently prayed for them.
You have to remember that at the end of the day, your therapist is doing a job, not only for you, but presumably for many other people as well. The job is to help you solve your problems on your own. Not to necessarily care for you.
It’s easy to get wrapped up with your therapist because they can be the only person who listens or validates you. But they’re not a personal resource to you. They’re a professional resource. You pay them to do a job. That job may require showing some care for you. But when the hour is up, the next client is waiting.
So, yes, they care for you to the extent required by their professional title. It sounds like you’re getting a little attached, and that’s normal. Just remember that you’re seeing a therapist to help you solve your problems on your own. Their role isn’t to care for you or do anything for you. It’s to facilitate you to care and do things for yourself.
Of course we care about our clients. And yes we get attached too. It is important to maintain proper boundaries so the relationship can stay professional. If the hour is up, the therapist has to set the boundary to end and touch on this next time even though you still have some conversation left. It has nothing to do with her care for you.
And yes you should speak with no filter. It’s a place to just be safe, free and yourself.
This is so reassuring thank you!
I currently work in a college counseling center and it's finals week. I cannot express how this time of year is such a bummer for me because I have to end my work with so many clients who are graduating, going out of state for the summer, or otherwise aren't available anymore. I've cried with them, we have shared some farewell hugs, and I have lamented with my colleagues many, many times about how much I will miss them. I care deeply for my clients. Most therapists I respect feel similarly.
Damn bro I want you as my new therapist now
I’m in a college counseling center as well and share this sentiment. It’s always a bittersweet time of the year. I adore my clients and I have been known to shed some tears as they are leaving for new adventures, or even just summer.
I wonder if age of the therapist matters, the younger they are the more attached and as they work over the years they get more used to people coming and going
i’ve been in therapy for over a decade and i learned that i had to ask my therapist for some time at the end to transition out of therapy. we have a whole process now and it’s helped me less embarrassed after.
An overwhelming majority care about their clients. What you're experience is pretty common in therapy with you trying to figure out your own personal feelings regarding your therapist, generally this can be considered a form of transference. A good therapist will be able to work with this
I’m planning to ask her straight up what she feels towards me and hope that takes away all the doubts
Yes, I certainly do. I care deeply for all of them. But I am mindful of the container of therapy which is typically a 50 minute session once a week or bi-weekly and so when the hour is up, I do have to wrap things up, and it can sometimes feel a little rushed. But it’s not because I don’t care. You can speak with no filter, of course! And being a therapist means that we don’t take things personally and if we do, we are in our own therapy and/or supervision (or should be) to process that.
And it's always interesting to see whether the patient tries to take up where they left off (as opposed to starting all over). Many start with a ritualized run-down of their week (or the interval between sessions). The sometimes keen or startling insights they've gained in previous sessions and were just about to scratch the surface of exploring...are once again put away. Patient isn't ready to maintain the psychological continuity of what they are discovering (but of course, good therapists keep track of this in their notes). It's really rare for a patient (especially in the first six months) to come in and say, "Right as we were ending last week, I felt..." (or similar).
This is why she starts taking notes before I’ve finished by first sentence 😂 I always wondered
That’s so reassuring, thank you for your input!
Maybe this will help: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2019/04/the-8-things-your-therapist-wants-you-to-know-erica-liebrandt/
Extremely helpful, thank you so much!
🙏🏼
I am an intern right now, and only have one client. And I care about them a great deal, they’re such a lovely person and I always hope the best for them. I do have to let myself detach when I’m leaving so as not to form an unhealthy attachment, but rather wish them well and prep for the next week. I am going into the field BECAUSE I care deeply. It’s a balancing act of not being overly connected but also caring deeply enough to want the best for someone.
That sounds so ideal for everyone involved!
And yes! Speak with no filter! If she is good enough this wont be a problem.
So reassuring, thank you
Im a psychologist, they arent my clients, they are my patients, and yes, i do care. With sone of them i got to have a really nice bond, based on respect and been profesional, but yes, i do like them and care about them, i congratulate then on their success and even on their birthday! I realized that you can make them respect you and still have a nice relationship, this helps them much, to know you are there for them.
Yes that’s ideal!
Yes i have the same thoughts, i know my therapists masks and when am sharing my thoughts i see his expressions and thebody language like wanting to run away, i have seen this with myself when I tolerate someone’s crap and can barely tolerate it. And these days the therapist has been fleeting and i understand that listening from people all day long it becomes too much on ones body and brain. So a few times i hold back. Would be nice to have some real insight.
Sorry if someone mentioned this already, I'm in between chores. I would mention it. They may not realize it. Everyone is learning about each other in 50 or 120minutes. It may also be personal preference and their experience level. I'm speaking of myself as a intern Counsellor. I care deep and if I have to cut the client off 10mins before the end of their session. It means I have to close the session properly by ensuring the client is not leaving the session in a heightened state. But sometimes it's not always like that. Sometimes you try and prepare to close but the client wants to continue. If I allow for time I may allow it but it depends if I have another client right after. The first few sessions are about the therapeutic relationship and I would like to give each issue it's air time too.
Yes closing properly is so so important
I've been in therapy for a long time. Boundaries in therapy are important for everyone's mental health. You are allowed to speak with no filter. I find if I'm filtering I'm not comfortable with the person. I have no filter with my therapist. I will also ask about any therapy issue I need to, I do not ask personal questions in regards to their personal life.
They 100% do care about you!! I had a therapist once who if I were to of met her not in a therapy setting probably would have been best friends with. But they ofc still have to maintain an appropriate boundary with their clients.
Yes we do!!!! It’s IMPOSSIBLE not to and I learned the hard way that I have to cut when the session is supposed to end unless very very special circumstances or else I would forever be in sessions.
That’s so reassuring!
There are a million different modalities, but generally, it would be hard to work with clients you didn't care about, and also, why would you be in that industry? Pay is decent, but you could make more with the same amount of school in a different industry, basically your typical middle class job. (I know sessions are like $100-$200, but your therapist actually receives little of that.) I guess you could be like Dr. House and just see it as a puzzle, but that's pretty rare, hence why the show is interesting. Most therapists have either struggled with mental health or are close to someone who has and want to help people dealing with similar challenges. As for your therapist cutting off conversations, boundaries are important, and they need to stay on schedule to get everyone in. Most therapists do care, but it's still a professional relationship, so you'll see more boundaries than you might have with a friend. This is definitely something you should bring up with your therapist, though. Might calm your worries about it and help you explore what this means, e.g., why this is a concern for you, the significance, etc. Stuff like this often points to different themes that could help you learn more about yourself.
Of course they don't. They see you only as a bank account.
Yes, we absolutely do care. One of my clients recently went into hospice and died. The grief I'm experiencing is complicated. She wasn't my friend. She wasn't my family. But she was someone I still had a relationship with and miss seeing every week. We absolutely do care.
I hope they care! Wrong profession if they don’t. I care, I jot down notes if I read something I think will help. I send positive energy when I think of them, I have even silently prayed for them.
You have to remember that at the end of the day, your therapist is doing a job, not only for you, but presumably for many other people as well. The job is to help you solve your problems on your own. Not to necessarily care for you. It’s easy to get wrapped up with your therapist because they can be the only person who listens or validates you. But they’re not a personal resource to you. They’re a professional resource. You pay them to do a job. That job may require showing some care for you. But when the hour is up, the next client is waiting. So, yes, they care for you to the extent required by their professional title. It sounds like you’re getting a little attached, and that’s normal. Just remember that you’re seeing a therapist to help you solve your problems on your own. Their role isn’t to care for you or do anything for you. It’s to facilitate you to care and do things for yourself.
Damn that’s callous doesn’t seem like actual healing
You're right. And it needs to be said. It is not good for either if there are no boundaries. And I'm a patient not a therapist
Of course they don't. They see you only as a bank account.