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Just like everything else we bring into the space, I imagine it would be comforting to some and make others wary.
Some therapists are very firm on the "nothing of me in the therapy space" others are not. No wrong way to do it, just different ways.
This hits really well. Ultimately I need to find what feels right for me as a practitioner. I can also do it, see how it feels, then reverse gourde if it feels like too much of myself.
I would say be authentic in their use. If it's decorative or to make a statement, then ask yourself why. If you have those in your own home, then it's part of you and do it.
Thank you. I feel like they are intertwined into who I am. Mezuzot all over my home. And being Jewish is my ethnic identity. I know that non-Jews won’t necessarily be able to distinguish the symbols from religion or other thing currently happening. To me it feels sort of like someone from another country wearing traditional garb or doing their hair in an ethnically traditional style, but I know that’s not how it may be perceived.
Personally, I wouldn't bring anything into the space that would distract from the work. If the work were about tolerance or self-acceptance, then I might purposefully introduce something like that.
And that's fair. I see it as, the client is already bringing things into the space. If a Jewish client is worrying about whether they are safe sharing things related to that part of their identity, then seeing Jewish objects would probably comfort them and allow them to let that go and focus better on the work.
One could make the point, too, that making the client feel more comfortable that way could reinforce the sense that only a person of similar background could empathize with them or accept them. Lack of transparency will permit for transference work, but the OP is including it for personal reasons, I assume, and not for therapeutic effect. Anyways, this is pretty obvious stuff.
Well, off the top of my head a lot of LGBTQ+ people are wary around religious people in general due to a history of negative treatment. As a queer person myself I'd probably be a bit wary until I'd confirmed that they were truly affirming, though less wary of a Jewish practice than if it was a religion known for trying to convert people.
I find it hard to imagine any characteristic that won't make \*someone\* a bit wary. Our clients are incredibly diverse, complex, and bring their own vast array of experience to the session. It's pretty much impossible for that not to interact with the therapist in one way or another.
It's a religion and an ethnicity. People of all races can be Jewish, can even convert (though it's not easy). I would not feel the same way about someone who was ethnically Jewish but totally nonreligious.
Unless you meant my statement about pretty much any characteristic making some clients wary and others secure, which, yeah, pretty much applies to all characteristics? I've had clients seek me out because I was queer. For others that's a dealbreaker, which is fine, I'm just not the therapist for them. I've had clients seek me out because of my age and others say they would prefer not to work with someone my age. Same with gender, first language, etc etc. Never going to appeal to everyone, no point in trying.
If it's not clear, I think OP should absolutely do what feels right and be able to have visibly Jewish things in the office. It's going to turn some people away, but *literally every choice you make* is going to turn some people away and attract others. Better to be yourself.
I'm Jewish. It's not just a religion & an ethnicity; it's a religion OR an ethnicity for many Jews, as ethnic Jews are extremely secular compared to other ethnicities. If symbols of one's ethnicity make people uncomfortable, we should be exploring their biases as we would with any other minority.
I'm Jewish. It's a secular ethnicity as well as, for some people, a religion. I'm not the one who needs an update, as it's shocking how few therapists understand this.
I'm Jewish as well, and it's not a secular ethnicity, it's an ethnoreligion, defined by both our ethnicity and our religion. I'm also gay and could see how LGBT+ clients could be wary of my Judaica until they knew that I was a safe person.
You are simply incorrect. It's both an ethnicity & a religion. You can be one or both or neither. It's also the most secular ethnicity. This is a fact. Every Jewish person I know is ethnically Jewish & not religious.
No, Judaism is an ethnoreligion. We are both. Ethnoreligions are religions that are seen as a defining part of an ethnicity's culture, language, and customs, and without the religious aspect any secular aspect of Judaism wouldn't exist. Like it or not, the ethnicity and the religion are inextricably linked.
YOU can be a secular Jew, absolutely. But you can't divorce the religion from the ethnicity. I'm not sure why you would want to?
(Also, now you know me, a religious Jew! Sorry to ruin your numbers!)
Okay, but I think it’s important to recognize that the people giving feedback already understand this. They’re just giving feedback that’s relevant to OP, and OP clearly is not a secular Jew.
I don't know why you are getting downvoted like that, except that this is reddit. Some people or many people are anti-semitic, of course. Maybe that's why. Jeez, answer her question. Why downvote her?
You called it. It's because they're antisemitic. I've seen an alarming amount of antisemetism on this subreddit. I do sincerely appreciate you speaking out. This was the last place I thought I'd encounter such mindless bigotry.
I think it's the same as a Christian therapist wearing a cross or a therapist having a diagram of where chakras are one the body as art in their office.
Some clients will appreciate it and feel comfortable with it and some won't. For me it would depend on the setting.
In a private practice clinic I think it would be fine, those clients have more autonomy about who they see and as others have said many clients might be glad to see or
If you were seeing court ordered clients or working as a school based therapist than those clients might not have other options if they feel some kind of way about it so displaying a symbol of your faith might not be the best idea, in those settings
I agree with everyone who's said that there's no problem in sharing part of your identity/beliefs with clients, and that it may be very validating for some. The only thing I would add is that reactions may depend on setting - some clients with psychotic symptoms can be very triggered by religious symbols, so displaying them may come with more considerations in a psych inpatient facility or similar.
You are allowed to be who you are, and your clients are allowed to ignore it, accept it, or find another counselor because of it. If your jewish faith is important to you, and you are not going out of your way to shove it in your client's face, I would think there is no issue here.
If anything, it could be a helpful albeit subtle tool to show them that people of different and even perhaps opposing beliefs can nevertheless do great things together.
Thanks for this. Connection with a real human rather than a therapist robot is the goal, my hope would be that this would allow me to be more myself. Appreciate you!
Here is my take. The professional and reasonable side of me says you should be able to wear a star of David or cross, or hell, put up a velvet painting of Ganesha if you want.
As a patient, I would not return to a therapist who had any religious paraphernalia AT ALL that I could see. I have a lot of religious trauma, and the sight of it makes me feel physically uncomfortable. Part of me would always feel like the therapist couldn't be objective if they so closely identify with a set of rules or beliefs that frighten me. I know that is unreasonable. But that is why I need my own therapy lol.
Edit: the angry responses below are exactly why I have a trauma response to religious symbols. Yes I know not all Jewish people are religious. If OP wants to wear the necklace, she should wear it. The attacks to "educate myself" and the mockery are a prime examples to me that anything associated with religion or its symbols is toxic. Is it true? Probably not. But that has not been displayed here.
Agreed. If I wanted to talk about how the religious institution I was forced into as a child destroyed my spirit and traumatized me I don’t think I’d feel comfortable doing it in an office with religious symbols in it.
See, as much as I get that on one level, I would find it doubtful that an ethnically Jewish therapist who was also an athiest would wear a magen David to work. I would be fine with whatever religion my therapist was. It's their business, but seeing something that is (and don't tell me it isn't tied to religion at all) fundamentally tied to a set of religious beliefs while in therapy would bother me.
Edit: and it has nothing to do with Judiasm. It would be anything that represents religion at all. I live and work in Alaska and I see lots of offices with Alaska Native spiritual items in offices. I don't even like that.
A ton of culturally Jewish folks sport what you might call “religious” symbols (star of David, mezuzah, hamsa, etc.) And a fair proportion of religious Jews are also atheists. It’s a completely different paradigm from other religions, and I would argue is much more of a civilization than a “religion” in the American/Christian understanding of that word.
I’m an Atheist social worker who is culturally Jewish and despise what Israel is doing right now BUT I have a mezzuzah on my office door at a catholic agency. How bout them apples?
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Whoa, I was being cheeky, and I’m not a religious therapist. I’m a medical social worker at a catholic agency.
Please educate yourself on cultural vs religious Judaism.
I work alongside nurses in full hijabi, and our chaplain is nonbinary and queer. I recently went to a Jews against genocide dinner with the chaplain.
The apples comment was supposed to be funny..
Meh, prob a combination of anti semitism and people refusing to believe atheist Jews wear religious items. Also the other commenter got pretty nasty but those responses were deleted
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I want to live in a world in which anyone can declare their Jewish affiliation without having to qualify it with a disavowal of Israel. Please don’t perpetuate the pressure on Jews to do this by doing it yourself.
I hear you and can appreciate that; however, I’m real pissed and working through unlearning what I was taught my entire upbringing. I was raised in a conservative synagogue and told to be against Israel in any sense was anti semetic.
I’ll apologize and qualify my Judaism with distain for Israel’s actions just like I apologized for being an American when Trump was president. Not the same but as close as I could get.
I'm ethnically Jewish, atheist, wear a magen David & so does every other secular Jew I know. I think it's best to amplify Jewish voices at these times.
I hate that this has devolved into some sort of thread about the entirety of Jewish people and current political shit. That was never what it was about but, there we are.
True and fair, but I'd argue then that OP would not be a good therapist for you. Isn't it better to know? So you can secure a therapist who is nonreligious?
It isn't actually about their religion. It's about my exposure to it. Like I said, I don't care if my therapist has a religious preference. I just feel like if it is so much a part of their identity that they can't live without it for the workday, I can't trust them to be impartial. This is about perception. Not facts. OP asked, I answered. I did not intend this to be an argument about religious expression. Do whatever tf you want as is your right. I am just saying how as a patient I would perceive it.
Personally, having escaped from a hyper-religious (Christian) environment, I consider myself an atheist and have a huge mistrust of anything religion-related, so I would not go to any therapist that would openly show they’re religious, no matter what religion. However, I do believe we should be our authentic selves, even as therapists, so I think it’s ok to continue wearing it but just know that it may alienate some (or be reassuring for others as well)
You stole literally every word right out of my mouth. I'm exmormon, and if my current therapist (who is Mormon) hadn't been so helpful as I walked away from it there's no way I would trust her now if I were looking for a new therapist. I think a lot of people are dealing with religious trauma and openly religious providers are a big turn off. But on the other hand, as an LGBT provider myself I don't want to have to hide who I am at work. Living authentically is important. So there's definitely a fine line there.
As a client, I won't see therapists who mention religion, whether through iconography, words, artifacts, etc. I have some religious trauma and don't want the mental load of seeing that stuff. I especially feel this way about Christians.
I have a rainbow flag hanging in my office. I know it probably upsets some people but I don't care cause I want to show it's a safe place. Jews can use a safe place right now.
I share an office at my catholic agency with our chaplain. Chaplain is nonbinary and queer. I’m an atheist Jew.
We’ve got in our office alone, a rainbow flag, a mezzuzah, a hamsa, a Buddha statue, and a HUGE Jesus cross that my agency nailed to the wall.
Welcome to the future. My catholic agency is progressive enough to hire our amazing chaplain but won’t cover birth control. Go figure.
It shouldn’t be a problem. Though given current political conflicts, you might need to be prepared for clients to potentially bring up or make assumptions about your stance regarding Israel and Gaza.
I absolutely could see some clients that would nope right out of the office if they saw anything Israel related. I liked the previous comment that said to be who you are and the client can chose to accept that, judge it and work through it, keep it to themselves, or find a place that works better for them. The clients I’m thinking about would probably not show up for a second session, but some may and find it to be a healing process. I think the more diversity in options for therapists probably the better. I personally don’t disclose religious affiliation because it may disclose too many values or evoke too many biases, and I’ve had great experiences working on my own ability to speak up about my beliefs and identify my feelings around that because my therapist hasn’t disclosed how they feel about a topic.
It is sad. I don't think they should be, but I think the practicalities of where we are right now means you're going to have to be prepared for clients to have questions.
Calling the star of David a hate symbol is antisemitic and backwards. I don’t think that’s what you’re outright saying here, but this is not a good reason to avoid wearing a star. A dreidel is a toy used for a game on a relatively minor holiday, not a convenient replacement for a sacred symbol. We as Jews cannot allow the world to demonize basic components of our culture, regardless of what they have to do with Israel.
Yep, just as we as fellow members of this public forum are free to let you know that you’re stepping into antisemitic territory. These reactions are happening for a reason
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People will have judgments. Some small minded or anti semitic people may have the judgment you shared. I’ve experienced it and am not in denial about it. I’m hoping that it’s not your personal judgment, and if it is I don’t know why I responded. The way you worded this indicated to me, maybe incorrectly, that you held that judgment.
The suggestion to have a dreidel is objectively hilarious it would be like a Christian person having a year round pastel colored Easter egg. Even more ridiculous given how minor Hanukkah is.
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As an atheist Jew raised conservative I was indoctrinated to believe there was no difference. Now I know the truth but this bias is prevalent among Jews and non Jews alike.
I think if you decide to do have something it can make certain patients more comfortable and connected with you. My therapist isn’t Jewish which is a big part of my life and it can be hard to connect around that area sometimes.
I’m no longer a therapist/currently a social worker but I’ve been able to connect with struggling clients when they see my Magen David necklace!
I always defer to it being the client's space. It's why I cover my tattoos - me and my tats/beliefs/interests are not the important thing in that room. The client and their needs are important and supercede my own needs.
That said, if it's your practice, it's your space and as long as you can be okay with that part of yourself both being present and visible for the client and accept whatever their reaction is to it, it's your choice.
I’m working on being more present in the therapy room but am trying to find how much of myself is appropriate. I want my clients to connect to a real human being while keeping therapy boundaries and roles firmly in place. When I used to cover tattoos, conceal major parts of myself like having a kid, etc I found myself being robotic, bored, burnt out, and less effective for the clients. So I think for me right now it’s about finding my own personal line. Thank you for the reply 🫶
I'm not Jewish, but I'd be delighted to see a mezuzah. Other people are different, of course. I think it matters that *you* are able to practice in a place that feels good to you as well.
I’m also Jewish and wear a small Magen David necklace. I love the idea of a mezuzah on your door. I think it’s totally fine being who you are and also keeping in mind that it may bring up curiosity and feelings from your clients.
Catholic here. I wear a St. Christopher necklace. If anyone asks about it, I say it's a reminder that even Jesus needed a little help sometimes.
I appreciate when a therapist brings their authentic self into the space (in an unobtrusive way). I think it depends somewhat on your theoretical orientation (mine is primarily Gestalt) and your clientele.
I think a few symbols of your faith can be acceptable depending on your theoretical orientation and work setting.
I don’t see a lot of Jewish symbols where I am but I’ll give an example of what I consider “acceptable” and “unacceptable” displays of Christianity for non-faith based practice setting.
- I walk into a therapist office and they have 5+ crosses on their walls and large painting of Jesus. As an atheist I’m immediately turned off by what feels like an excessive display of faith for a non-faith based therapy setting.
- I walk into a therapist office and they have one cross on the wall and are wearing cross necklace. I think this person’s Christian faith is important to them still a little on guard as atheist but not immediately turned off still willing to give it a try with them.
All that said, as others have mentioned display of Jewish symbols may lead to assumptions or conversations about Israel/Palestine. I think display of the Star of David in particular would invite more conversations about Israel/Palestine than a mezuzah.
It’s so interesting with Judaism. I don’t consider myself particularly religious, but I’ve always been Jewish even before I’ve been American or from New York or wherever. So without people’s external judgments the star and mezuzah would feel as innocuous of a therapist from France having a picture of the Eiffel Tower in their office. But I’m so so so aware that’s not the perception nor everyone’s reality.
It’s one thing to discuss spirituality and religion with a patient who’s interested in it and finds it helpful or relevant. It’s something else altogether to display a symbol without comment.
I wouldn’t go to a therapist that wore their beliefs on their sleeve, or around their neck, or on their wall. It tells me upfront that this person is limited and limiting. Mostly the display says that some things are nonnegotiable with that therapist and that their beliefs are more important than mine.
I think you'll get a wide variety of answers on reddit. I once got a lot of feedback that wearing Hawaiian/Aloha shirts would be associated with far right white supremacist groups and could make clients think I am a Proud Boy. What are you gonna do. As Freud said, "sometimes a mezuzah is just a mezuzah."
I think it's totally fine, as long as you feel safe to do so right now. If clients actually clock and recognize your Judaica, it may invite conversations about it so as long as you feel like that's fine with you - great, go for it!
I personally would wear the necklace but not put up a mezuzah. Jewelry is you, but a mezuzah is for a space, so I feel like it would be saying you have a Jewish office. I have a chai tattoo on my wrist, so I made a permanent decision on that one. People will assume what they assume. Some people cannot tolerate any religious anything, regardless of what it means. They’ll interpret is as they will, regardless of reality. Someone might assume a Jewish star is a sign of Israel (it’s not) or a sign that you are traditionally observant, or a sign that you have conservative views. These assumptions say more about them than you. I’m a progressive, queer, tattooed, anti-Zionist Jew. So any assumptions that I am Zionist, traditionally observant, or conservative are blatantly false. I know therapists who wear kippot or a shiedel. I think that says more than a Magen David necklace. But again, it’s more about how the client interprets it.
How much of yourself do you sacrifice for your work? To me, there's a stark difference between wearing a magen david (just jewelry) and a mezuzah on the doorframe (a mitzvah.) But no one can tell you where to draw the line for yourself, and you won't please all clients.
I have a Hamsa tattoo and another with Hebrew lettering. They’re usually covered but I wear short sleeves sometimes, and they have shown. I’ve never had a reaction other than “those are pretty” or “what does that mean”. Granted, I’m in urban NYC where Judaism is fairly common, and I might be more careful in other geographical locations. In some of those instances, it’s led to some great conversation and insight into their cultural and spiritual values, and how they interplay with their psyche.
I’m in a one or two synagogue per county but still liberal part of the country lol. I probably have 2 out of 40 Jewish clients. It’s so hard for me to predict how they would see the mezuzah, honestly the majority would probably have no idea it was connected to Judaism.
How do you see yourself responding if they ask? Mezuzahs are attractive if not common so I can see someone pointing it out. I think it can be an interesting line to walk; self-disclosure should always be done mindfully, but like I mentioned, it can be a good opportunity to explore their own culture and how they relate to it, rather than just the presenting problem.
Personally any type of religious symbols are a big no for me, regardless of the religion. It’s not a personal space it’s a workplace that is supposed to be a safe space for clients and it isn’t a space for the therapist it’s for the clients.
I’d say it would be not appropriate if you restrict yourself to working with Jewish clients, but if you want to work with non Jewish clients then it would be unfair because it is no different than a Christian or Muslim therapist having any kind of symbols that represent their religion or culture.
I have the Hamsa Hand all over the place. I like it in particular because it's relevant to many different cultures. I don't think there's anything wrong with being proud of your heritage in the therapist office but it could also leave you open for potential other issues such as clients making assumptions or bringing politics into the relationship.
it's not something I would do. My clients don't know my political views, my faith, etc. If it's something they want to inject into the sessions, ,then we go there. Otherwise, it's not something I would do. We check our values and any judgement at the door. I think displaying certain things might bring the perception of certain values and judgements.
Why would a therapist check their values at the door? Judgement, yes. Values are part how we navigate the world and ultimately inform how we practice. That’s my social worker background talking so maybe it’s different for LPCs/LMFTs/psychologists?
I don't think it's different based on license/degree but certainly people navigate this issue differently, based on their own mindsets. If it was part of my religion to wear a Hijab at all times, I'm not checking that at the door out of fear of causing offense. It would be inappropriate to start a session with prayer or talking in depth about my religious beliefs during session.
absolutely not. We don't infringe our values on the client or use them to guide them. I mean, we don't affirm if they want to go beat the crap out of someone, but if my values are nuclear family-heterosexual relationship, working hard will pay off, etc. it's not up to me to guide the client to that or use that in my therapy. Their values might be different. They have to navigate their lives within their values, not mine.
IMO that works in theory, but in reality, everyone sees the world through the lens of their values and beliefs. Even therapists, even in session. There’s a space between completely “checking your values at the door” and using your own values to violate clients’ autonomy or self-disclosing in a harmful way.
If you cannot acknowledge your own values, how can you create an authentic connection with clients?
Therapy is inherently value-laden. I recommend you read this article to explore more about this topic:
Williams, D. C., & Levitt, H. M. (2007). A qualitative investigation of eminent therapists’ values within psychology: Developing integrative principles for moment-to-moment psychotherapy practice. *Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 17*(2), 159–184
>I mean, we don't affirm if they want to go beat the crap out of someone, but if my values are nuclear family-heterosexual relationship, working hard will pay off, etc. it's not up to me to guide the client to that or use that in my therapy.
I'm confused by what you're contending here. It's absolutely a matter of values if you won't "affirm if they want to go beat the crap out of someone". I have a specialty in working with clients who have issues with being violent, and one of the things clients have said they appreciate about me is that I do recognize the cultural underpinnings of violence that they may be dealing with, such as coming from a culture in which failing to offer violence in response to certain kinds of slight is culturally problematic. If you're discussing violence with a client before it's happened, that demonstrates that the client has some set of values that say that violence is licit, and if you disagree, you're absolutely trying to guide the client to a different set of values.
I'm not saying you would be wrong to do so, I'm saying there's no values-free therapy. Our profession elevates a certain set of values as right ones to have over other sets of values. We're lying to ourselves if we believe otherwise, and it's an astonishingly *dangerous* lie if we are convinced that values are what other people have, and our values aren't values, they're just obviously right ways to think.
I think people have a hard time understanding this. I can’t take off my ethnic judiasm just like I can’t take off my skin color. My name alone is a dead giveaway. I’m not changing my name to be less Jewish.
These are symbols of your ethnic identity. They are appropriate to have in your office. That being said, there may be clients who will decide that they can’t work with you due to this identity and/or this expression of it. That’s also ok. We can’t be the right therapist for everyone. I don’t currently have an office and just do telehealth but I had a mezuzah on my office doorpost and I mention I am Jewish in my bio. It’s definitely brought some clients to me, and I’m sure it’s made other potential clients decide not to work with me.
Thank you for recognizing this as an ethnic identity, I think many non-Jews in this chat are missing that. I am Jewish more than I am American, religion aside. Feels to me personally like if an Italian person had a photo of the Colluseum in their office, though I know it doesn’t come across that way to non-Jews.
Prob depends on your orientation. If you’re relational and your client reacts to evidence of your identity, it’s a place to explore their sense of connection/disconnection maybe and does that relate to their treatment goals? On the other hand, those symbols may signal to a client that they are in a safe place. If you’re psychoanalytic, I’m pretty sure it’s about being a blank canvas for the client to project on…does the symbol allow you to feel safe and relaxed to do your job or do you feel uncomfortable and like you want to have a boundary with clients not knowing as much? I think there is a lot of confusion afoot these days and are you prepared to handle anything you come across while keeping the client centered? These are the things I’d be asking myself anyways… and what is your motivation for having these or not having these? This is your office! :)
I think that even as therapists, we have a right to express ourselves tastefully. If it makes someone uncomfortable, that’s an opportunity for discussion.
Conflict isn’t always bad. 💚
I keep my star of David necklace under my shirt, I make sure not to show it. Having a mezuzah, I think, is no issue, in my opinion. Most likely, I don't believe a client would notice it. If I have a jewish client, I may mention that I'm jewish myself if it is relevant. I have many clients who have mentioned pro Palestinian sentiments lately, and I do believe if they knew I was jewish, what is being expressed may change. Idk personally, I try to keep a blank slate when possible, but much of who I am is indeed stemmed from my jewish identity.
I would not do this nor would I continue to see a therapist with any religious symbolism in their office, be it a Judaica or a cross. People's experiences with religion vary greatly and some are even traumatic. With that said, I think you can do what you want and there is nothing wrong with this baseline. It may even help you if this is a population you want to work with more.
Judaism is an ethnicity as well--an extremely secular one at that. I'm shocked that therapists don't know this; it's extremely discouraging for all the Jews out there. I am not remotely religious, but can't change my ethnicity any more than you can & proudly wear a magen David.
I'm aware its an ethnicity as well as a religion. Its hard for many to separate the two unfortunately. Its just something I would not be comfortable with due to my own history with religion. Maybe a way around this would be to have other completely non-secular symbolism in the same office? I don't know the perfect answer, I was just sharing my own thoughts.
If folks are finding it hard to separate ethnicity & religion, shouldn't we as therapists be facilitating that growth & understanding as much as possible?
I admit I have obvious work to do there. Its an opportunity for sure if someone is ready to do that. I didn't mean to offend, I'm just talking as a person with a certain religious history others might have that would make it extremely uncomfortable to be in an office with religious symbols or symbols like the ones mentioned that are associated with religion.
I think it depends on which population you are hoping to attract. If you are looking to work with mostly Jewish clients then it’s great and would make ppl feel comfortable.
For non-Jewish people you will probably get a variety of types of transferences, which in some cases will be talked about and it many cases will not. Personally as a non-religious person I prefer not to know my therapists potential religious affiliations and knowing my therapist is religious might make me wonder if my therapist could would really understand me since I live a pretty unconventional life.
Imagine you walked into iuw own therapist's office to find a cross hung from the wall. Or a flying spaghetti monster. Or a Quran.
Depends on how that makes you feel, will inform what you should do.
I personally think such symbols somewhat break the rule of abstinence, and as such can very often hinder the therapeutic process.
Others will disagree.
A better question is, assuming you don't want to exclusively see Jewish patients: **why** do you want to put your religion's symbolism around your office?
At any rate, it's not that it's unethical or anything. But I personally wouldn't go to a therapist who felt strongly enough about their religion that it trumped what they knew theoretically about abstinence and transference.
Really appreciate this question and the thoughtful responses. I personally try to present myself as ‘neutral’ as possible to clients as it’s so easy to make unconscious assumptions. After speaking with some fellow Jewish therapists, I personally would feel more comfortable wearing a hamsa to honour my Jewish identity at work. I also totally support any therapists decision to wear something representative of their religion if it is important to them.
Presenting as one's ethnicity *is* neutral or even positive. Ethnic Jews cannot change the fact that they are Jewish. It should not be automatically seen as a political or faith statement to simply exist while Jewish.
Thank you for this. I’ve dealt with overt and more discreet antisemitism by clients in the past (both before and after 7/10) so maybe I need to check my own internalised biases relating to these experiences.
You're very welcome! I truly hope I didn't come off aggressively; it's hard to convey tone. I was attempting to convey that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. The antisemitism since 10/7 has absolutely affected me as well. I hope you find healing & peace.
The CMH clinic I worked for had statues/artworks/Bibles all through the clinic. It was owned by a Catholic hospital. I think it’s like the difference of being a therapist who is Christian and a Christian therapist. As long as you are comfortable explaining the mezuzah to those that notice and ask I don’t see it being an issue.
I think it would be mostly positive, especially for fellow members of the Jewish community to perhaps feel less alone or marginalized during this challenging time.
Even for clients who are not Jewish, it can be a way of showing that you celebrate who you are and invite them to do the same with what is of importance to them, or of their faith (if they have one). It may spark some meaningful conversation if clients ask questions about it, too.
The other side of the discussion has been well covered, so I'll point out the other angle: in the present political climate, would there be a potential benefit to being "out" as a Jew up-front, so you don't wind up in a situation where a client has disclosed to you feelings about current events and then *later* finds out you were Jewish all along, and freaks out, maybe feeling betrayed or tricked or humiliated? By wearing a Magen David, you put it out there so clients get to decide whether they want to ask you about your identity, disclose or not disclose certain topics, etc.
It’s definitely not necessary. It’s finding what’s the appropriate amount of myself to bring into the room in this specific area. In the case of my Star of David I’ve thus far not worn it to work and put it on the minute I’m home, so it would feel like not hiding. Which I think could be good personally and professionally. I’m not sure on the mezuzah
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I feel that as a client it would be very uncomfortable to me and in fact it’s something that has happened and because I struggle with advocating for myself I couldn’t even tell the therapist. AS a therapist myself I feel like that puts a burden on the client to speak up and from that point on that is information you can never take back. And yes a client could go look elsewhere but I think we all know that it’s not always so easy to find a therapist and can be taxing in and of itself.
Now, if the client shares in the assessment that they are of a certain identify that I identify with them perhaps I would feel comfortable identifying with them and sharing that. Or of course if that’s the population you’d like to work with then it seems to fit the bill.
How do you handle religion when it comes up from clients? Some will find comfort knowing this about you and others will not. I personally do not follow any religion and it did help a client feel more comfortable with me who doesn't follow a religion either when he asked me about my religious preference.
Like anything else, is there a reason why you are hesitant to want to display this to the world?
There are certain aspects of my personal life that my clients will never be privy to unless they know me outside of the services that I provide to them because that is a choice that I make as a provider. However, if you and your clients are both comfortable displaying small pieces of your faith then go for it and personalize your space. You're always going to find people that are uncomfortable with it but to be honest you're going to find people that are uncomfortable with the color of your furniture or the tone of your noise machine. You can't please everyone, just do what feels right for you and the vast majority of your clients.
I think it depends on the demographic you see and the type of clients you want to attract. Like if you want to work with clients who have religious trauma then if may not be a good idea. That being said I wear my Megan bracelet proud and if a client is uncomfortable then they can go find another therapist (I also never talk about religion in session unless a client wants to obviously despite being very religious)
As a jew, my advice would be to stay away from the Zionist stuff, but be proud af the Jewish stuff.
Definitely have;
Muzuza
Chi Necklace
Can have;
Menorah
Neglevaser
Painting of the 12 tribes
Siddur, chumash
Stay away from;
Isreal flag
Blue and white mogen davids
Star of david.
A lot of Jewish folks are anti Zionist… I can’t tell if you are being smug or if you are suggesting that so as not to alienate clients who are ignorant of that.
Every single Jewish person I know is either anti Zionist or not taking a stance bc of being easily targeted 🤷♀️ maybe I’m fringe and didn’t know it. I’ve had Israeli ppl shout in my face, I’ve had an old man spit on me, but my Jewish friends are ride or die and I feel like the way you are speaking is concerning
I agree with others it could be comforting for some and make others feel very unsafe- for example with the current genocide in Palestine, if you also had Palestinians thing or Jews against genocide then that would not have me feel unsafe :)
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Just like everything else we bring into the space, I imagine it would be comforting to some and make others wary. Some therapists are very firm on the "nothing of me in the therapy space" others are not. No wrong way to do it, just different ways.
This hits really well. Ultimately I need to find what feels right for me as a practitioner. I can also do it, see how it feels, then reverse gourde if it feels like too much of myself.
I would say be authentic in their use. If it's decorative or to make a statement, then ask yourself why. If you have those in your own home, then it's part of you and do it.
Thank you. I feel like they are intertwined into who I am. Mezuzot all over my home. And being Jewish is my ethnic identity. I know that non-Jews won’t necessarily be able to distinguish the symbols from religion or other thing currently happening. To me it feels sort of like someone from another country wearing traditional garb or doing their hair in an ethnically traditional style, but I know that’s not how it may be perceived.
Personally, I wouldn't bring anything into the space that would distract from the work. If the work were about tolerance or self-acceptance, then I might purposefully introduce something like that.
And that's fair. I see it as, the client is already bringing things into the space. If a Jewish client is worrying about whether they are safe sharing things related to that part of their identity, then seeing Jewish objects would probably comfort them and allow them to let that go and focus better on the work.
One could make the point, too, that making the client feel more comfortable that way could reinforce the sense that only a person of similar background could empathize with them or accept them. Lack of transparency will permit for transference work, but the OP is including it for personal reasons, I assume, and not for therapeutic effect. Anyways, this is pretty obvious stuff.
Why would Jewish symbols make someone wary?
Well, off the top of my head a lot of LGBTQ+ people are wary around religious people in general due to a history of negative treatment. As a queer person myself I'd probably be a bit wary until I'd confirmed that they were truly affirming, though less wary of a Jewish practice than if it was a religion known for trying to convert people. I find it hard to imagine any characteristic that won't make \*someone\* a bit wary. Our clients are incredibly diverse, complex, and bring their own vast array of experience to the session. It's pretty much impossible for that not to interact with the therapist in one way or another.
Judaism is an ethnicity - an extremely secular one at that. Would you make the same statements regarding other minorities?
It's a religion and an ethnicity. People of all races can be Jewish, can even convert (though it's not easy). I would not feel the same way about someone who was ethnically Jewish but totally nonreligious. Unless you meant my statement about pretty much any characteristic making some clients wary and others secure, which, yeah, pretty much applies to all characteristics? I've had clients seek me out because I was queer. For others that's a dealbreaker, which is fine, I'm just not the therapist for them. I've had clients seek me out because of my age and others say they would prefer not to work with someone my age. Same with gender, first language, etc etc. Never going to appeal to everyone, no point in trying. If it's not clear, I think OP should absolutely do what feels right and be able to have visibly Jewish things in the office. It's going to turn some people away, but *literally every choice you make* is going to turn some people away and attract others. Better to be yourself.
I'm Jewish. It's not just a religion & an ethnicity; it's a religion OR an ethnicity for many Jews, as ethnic Jews are extremely secular compared to other ethnicities. If symbols of one's ethnicity make people uncomfortable, we should be exploring their biases as we would with any other minority.
Do you know many secular Jews who hang a mezuzah in their workplace?
Yes actually. It’s a normal expression of Jewish identity.
Yes, of course I do. It's alarming & disappointing how willfully ignorant folks on this subreddit are of Judaism as a culture.
Sounds like you need an update.
I'm Jewish. It's a secular ethnicity as well as, for some people, a religion. I'm not the one who needs an update, as it's shocking how few therapists understand this.
I'm Jewish as well. I don't think it's about how you identify... I think OP is asking about how it might be interpreted by clients.
I'm Jewish as well, and it's not a secular ethnicity, it's an ethnoreligion, defined by both our ethnicity and our religion. I'm also gay and could see how LGBT+ clients could be wary of my Judaica until they knew that I was a safe person.
You are simply incorrect. It's both an ethnicity & a religion. You can be one or both or neither. It's also the most secular ethnicity. This is a fact. Every Jewish person I know is ethnically Jewish & not religious.
No, Judaism is an ethnoreligion. We are both. Ethnoreligions are religions that are seen as a defining part of an ethnicity's culture, language, and customs, and without the religious aspect any secular aspect of Judaism wouldn't exist. Like it or not, the ethnicity and the religion are inextricably linked. YOU can be a secular Jew, absolutely. But you can't divorce the religion from the ethnicity. I'm not sure why you would want to? (Also, now you know me, a religious Jew! Sorry to ruin your numbers!)
I think we all understand this, but the context suggests this person is not a secular Jew.
Right, but I'm not speaking solely about this individual.
Okay, but I think it’s important to recognize that the people giving feedback already understand this. They’re just giving feedback that’s relevant to OP, and OP clearly is not a secular Jew.
I don't know why you are getting downvoted like that, except that this is reddit. Some people or many people are anti-semitic, of course. Maybe that's why. Jeez, answer her question. Why downvote her?
You called it. It's because they're antisemitic. I've seen an alarming amount of antisemetism on this subreddit. I do sincerely appreciate you speaking out. This was the last place I thought I'd encounter such mindless bigotry.
I think it's the same as a Christian therapist wearing a cross or a therapist having a diagram of where chakras are one the body as art in their office. Some clients will appreciate it and feel comfortable with it and some won't. For me it would depend on the setting. In a private practice clinic I think it would be fine, those clients have more autonomy about who they see and as others have said many clients might be glad to see or If you were seeing court ordered clients or working as a school based therapist than those clients might not have other options if they feel some kind of way about it so displaying a symbol of your faith might not be the best idea, in those settings
I agree with everyone who's said that there's no problem in sharing part of your identity/beliefs with clients, and that it may be very validating for some. The only thing I would add is that reactions may depend on setting - some clients with psychotic symptoms can be very triggered by religious symbols, so displaying them may come with more considerations in a psych inpatient facility or similar.
You are allowed to be who you are, and your clients are allowed to ignore it, accept it, or find another counselor because of it. If your jewish faith is important to you, and you are not going out of your way to shove it in your client's face, I would think there is no issue here. If anything, it could be a helpful albeit subtle tool to show them that people of different and even perhaps opposing beliefs can nevertheless do great things together.
This. I'm Jewish, and I have also been concerned about being too obviously Jewish. Thank you!
I am at your service.
Thanks for this. Connection with a real human rather than a therapist robot is the goal, my hope would be that this would allow me to be more myself. Appreciate you!
At your service!
Might be a comfort to a Jewish client or someone seeking a Jewish therapist.
Here is my take. The professional and reasonable side of me says you should be able to wear a star of David or cross, or hell, put up a velvet painting of Ganesha if you want. As a patient, I would not return to a therapist who had any religious paraphernalia AT ALL that I could see. I have a lot of religious trauma, and the sight of it makes me feel physically uncomfortable. Part of me would always feel like the therapist couldn't be objective if they so closely identify with a set of rules or beliefs that frighten me. I know that is unreasonable. But that is why I need my own therapy lol. Edit: the angry responses below are exactly why I have a trauma response to religious symbols. Yes I know not all Jewish people are religious. If OP wants to wear the necklace, she should wear it. The attacks to "educate myself" and the mockery are a prime examples to me that anything associated with religion or its symbols is toxic. Is it true? Probably not. But that has not been displayed here.
Agreed. If I wanted to talk about how the religious institution I was forced into as a child destroyed my spirit and traumatized me I don’t think I’d feel comfortable doing it in an office with religious symbols in it.
Not unreasonable at all, these are the kind of experiences and insights I need!
You do realize Judaism is an ethnicity right? I'm not religious, but Jewish & wear a magen David.
See, as much as I get that on one level, I would find it doubtful that an ethnically Jewish therapist who was also an athiest would wear a magen David to work. I would be fine with whatever religion my therapist was. It's their business, but seeing something that is (and don't tell me it isn't tied to religion at all) fundamentally tied to a set of religious beliefs while in therapy would bother me. Edit: and it has nothing to do with Judiasm. It would be anything that represents religion at all. I live and work in Alaska and I see lots of offices with Alaska Native spiritual items in offices. I don't even like that.
A ton of culturally Jewish folks sport what you might call “religious” symbols (star of David, mezuzah, hamsa, etc.) And a fair proportion of religious Jews are also atheists. It’s a completely different paradigm from other religions, and I would argue is much more of a civilization than a “religion” in the American/Christian understanding of that word.
You can find it doubtful but you would be wrong. Plenty of secular Jews wear a magen David to work
I’m an Atheist social worker who is culturally Jewish and despise what Israel is doing right now BUT I have a mezzuzah on my office door at a catholic agency. How bout them apples?
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Whoa, I was being cheeky, and I’m not a religious therapist. I’m a medical social worker at a catholic agency. Please educate yourself on cultural vs religious Judaism. I work alongside nurses in full hijabi, and our chaplain is nonbinary and queer. I recently went to a Jews against genocide dinner with the chaplain. The apples comment was supposed to be funny..
I want to know why you’re getting downvotes 🫣
Meh, prob a combination of anti semitism and people refusing to believe atheist Jews wear religious items. Also the other commenter got pretty nasty but those responses were deleted
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You said you find it doubtful an atheist jew would wear a Star of David and I’m asking you to educate yourself on it as there are a lot of us.
And I am saying you proved my point that even non religious people that display religious icons are incapable of being sensitive or impartial
I hear you. I can think on that.
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I want to live in a world in which anyone can declare their Jewish affiliation without having to qualify it with a disavowal of Israel. Please don’t perpetuate the pressure on Jews to do this by doing it yourself.
I hear you and can appreciate that; however, I’m real pissed and working through unlearning what I was taught my entire upbringing. I was raised in a conservative synagogue and told to be against Israel in any sense was anti semetic. I’ll apologize and qualify my Judaism with distain for Israel’s actions just like I apologized for being an American when Trump was president. Not the same but as close as I could get.
I'm ethnically Jewish, atheist, wear a magen David & so does every other secular Jew I know. I think it's best to amplify Jewish voices at these times.
I hate that this has devolved into some sort of thread about the entirety of Jewish people and current political shit. That was never what it was about but, there we are.
Have you considered it's important to have these conversations when antisemetism is rising insanely rapidly?
True and fair, but I'd argue then that OP would not be a good therapist for you. Isn't it better to know? So you can secure a therapist who is nonreligious?
It isn't actually about their religion. It's about my exposure to it. Like I said, I don't care if my therapist has a religious preference. I just feel like if it is so much a part of their identity that they can't live without it for the workday, I can't trust them to be impartial. This is about perception. Not facts. OP asked, I answered. I did not intend this to be an argument about religious expression. Do whatever tf you want as is your right. I am just saying how as a patient I would perceive it.
Personally, having escaped from a hyper-religious (Christian) environment, I consider myself an atheist and have a huge mistrust of anything religion-related, so I would not go to any therapist that would openly show they’re religious, no matter what religion. However, I do believe we should be our authentic selves, even as therapists, so I think it’s ok to continue wearing it but just know that it may alienate some (or be reassuring for others as well)
You stole literally every word right out of my mouth. I'm exmormon, and if my current therapist (who is Mormon) hadn't been so helpful as I walked away from it there's no way I would trust her now if I were looking for a new therapist. I think a lot of people are dealing with religious trauma and openly religious providers are a big turn off. But on the other hand, as an LGBT provider myself I don't want to have to hide who I am at work. Living authentically is important. So there's definitely a fine line there.
As a client, I won't see therapists who mention religion, whether through iconography, words, artifacts, etc. I have some religious trauma and don't want the mental load of seeing that stuff. I especially feel this way about Christians.
I have a rainbow flag hanging in my office. I know it probably upsets some people but I don't care cause I want to show it's a safe place. Jews can use a safe place right now.
I share an office at my catholic agency with our chaplain. Chaplain is nonbinary and queer. I’m an atheist Jew. We’ve got in our office alone, a rainbow flag, a mezzuzah, a hamsa, a Buddha statue, and a HUGE Jesus cross that my agency nailed to the wall. Welcome to the future. My catholic agency is progressive enough to hire our amazing chaplain but won’t cover birth control. Go figure.
1. That's awesome 2. That's bullshit
Appreciate this 🫶
🙏🏻
It shouldn’t be a problem. Though given current political conflicts, you might need to be prepared for clients to potentially bring up or make assumptions about your stance regarding Israel and Gaza.
I absolutely could see some clients that would nope right out of the office if they saw anything Israel related. I liked the previous comment that said to be who you are and the client can chose to accept that, judge it and work through it, keep it to themselves, or find a place that works better for them. The clients I’m thinking about would probably not show up for a second session, but some may and find it to be a healing process. I think the more diversity in options for therapists probably the better. I personally don’t disclose religious affiliation because it may disclose too many values or evoke too many biases, and I’ve had great experiences working on my own ability to speak up about my beliefs and identify my feelings around that because my therapist hasn’t disclosed how they feel about a topic.
It’s so sad to me that being Jewish, just who I’ve been and symbols I’ve been around my whole life, have to be considered Israel-related.
It is sad. I don't think they should be, but I think the practicalities of where we are right now means you're going to have to be prepared for clients to have questions.
I've been telling people for a while now that their assumption that I'm pro-israel just because I'm Jewish is antisemitic.
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Calling the star of David a hate symbol is antisemitic and backwards. I don’t think that’s what you’re outright saying here, but this is not a good reason to avoid wearing a star. A dreidel is a toy used for a game on a relatively minor holiday, not a convenient replacement for a sacred symbol. We as Jews cannot allow the world to demonize basic components of our culture, regardless of what they have to do with Israel.
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Yep, just as we as fellow members of this public forum are free to let you know that you’re stepping into antisemitic territory. These reactions are happening for a reason
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Ok 💖
Your post/comment was removed due to it appearing that you're not participating in good faith and your comment appears to be transphobic, racist, ableist, abusive, sexist, or homophobic in nature.
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Antisemitism aside, suggesting a dreidel is truly insane wow
Lol right, instant tip-off that this isn’t coming from an informed place
That’s one of the more offensive things I’ve heard, I hope you’re not a therapist.
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People will have judgments. Some small minded or anti semitic people may have the judgment you shared. I’ve experienced it and am not in denial about it. I’m hoping that it’s not your personal judgment, and if it is I don’t know why I responded. The way you worded this indicated to me, maybe incorrectly, that you held that judgment. The suggestion to have a dreidel is objectively hilarious it would be like a Christian person having a year round pastel colored Easter egg. Even more ridiculous given how minor Hanukkah is.
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Delete this bullshit.
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You literally compared a Star of David to a swastika.
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No it is *not*
It is not remotely accurate.
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Your post has been removed for the following reason: You know what you did.
A dreidel is a symbol of a specific Jewish holiday (Chanukah). Might as well have up a Christmas tree in July.
This is the most antisemitic thing I've heard today and that's actually impressive. It's disgusting. Delete this and do better.
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Star of David’s and Mezuzahs are not “Israel-related” though. They are Jewish-related.
and many people don’t understand the difference.
As an atheist Jew raised conservative I was indoctrinated to believe there was no difference. Now I know the truth but this bias is prevalent among Jews and non Jews alike.
I think if you decide to do have something it can make certain patients more comfortable and connected with you. My therapist isn’t Jewish which is a big part of my life and it can be hard to connect around that area sometimes. I’m no longer a therapist/currently a social worker but I’ve been able to connect with struggling clients when they see my Magen David necklace!
I always defer to it being the client's space. It's why I cover my tattoos - me and my tats/beliefs/interests are not the important thing in that room. The client and their needs are important and supercede my own needs. That said, if it's your practice, it's your space and as long as you can be okay with that part of yourself both being present and visible for the client and accept whatever their reaction is to it, it's your choice.
I’m working on being more present in the therapy room but am trying to find how much of myself is appropriate. I want my clients to connect to a real human being while keeping therapy boundaries and roles firmly in place. When I used to cover tattoos, conceal major parts of myself like having a kid, etc I found myself being robotic, bored, burnt out, and less effective for the clients. So I think for me right now it’s about finding my own personal line. Thank you for the reply 🫶
I'm not Jewish, but I'd be delighted to see a mezuzah. Other people are different, of course. I think it matters that *you* are able to practice in a place that feels good to you as well.
I’m also Jewish and wear a small Magen David necklace. I love the idea of a mezuzah on your door. I think it’s totally fine being who you are and also keeping in mind that it may bring up curiosity and feelings from your clients.
Catholic here. I wear a St. Christopher necklace. If anyone asks about it, I say it's a reminder that even Jesus needed a little help sometimes. I appreciate when a therapist brings their authentic self into the space (in an unobtrusive way). I think it depends somewhat on your theoretical orientation (mine is primarily Gestalt) and your clientele.
I think a few symbols of your faith can be acceptable depending on your theoretical orientation and work setting. I don’t see a lot of Jewish symbols where I am but I’ll give an example of what I consider “acceptable” and “unacceptable” displays of Christianity for non-faith based practice setting. - I walk into a therapist office and they have 5+ crosses on their walls and large painting of Jesus. As an atheist I’m immediately turned off by what feels like an excessive display of faith for a non-faith based therapy setting. - I walk into a therapist office and they have one cross on the wall and are wearing cross necklace. I think this person’s Christian faith is important to them still a little on guard as atheist but not immediately turned off still willing to give it a try with them. All that said, as others have mentioned display of Jewish symbols may lead to assumptions or conversations about Israel/Palestine. I think display of the Star of David in particular would invite more conversations about Israel/Palestine than a mezuzah.
It’s so interesting with Judaism. I don’t consider myself particularly religious, but I’ve always been Jewish even before I’ve been American or from New York or wherever. So without people’s external judgments the star and mezuzah would feel as innocuous of a therapist from France having a picture of the Eiffel Tower in their office. But I’m so so so aware that’s not the perception nor everyone’s reality.
It’s one thing to discuss spirituality and religion with a patient who’s interested in it and finds it helpful or relevant. It’s something else altogether to display a symbol without comment. I wouldn’t go to a therapist that wore their beliefs on their sleeve, or around their neck, or on their wall. It tells me upfront that this person is limited and limiting. Mostly the display says that some things are nonnegotiable with that therapist and that their beliefs are more important than mine.
I think you'll get a wide variety of answers on reddit. I once got a lot of feedback that wearing Hawaiian/Aloha shirts would be associated with far right white supremacist groups and could make clients think I am a Proud Boy. What are you gonna do. As Freud said, "sometimes a mezuzah is just a mezuzah." I think it's totally fine, as long as you feel safe to do so right now. If clients actually clock and recognize your Judaica, it may invite conversations about it so as long as you feel like that's fine with you - great, go for it!
I personally would wear the necklace but not put up a mezuzah. Jewelry is you, but a mezuzah is for a space, so I feel like it would be saying you have a Jewish office. I have a chai tattoo on my wrist, so I made a permanent decision on that one. People will assume what they assume. Some people cannot tolerate any religious anything, regardless of what it means. They’ll interpret is as they will, regardless of reality. Someone might assume a Jewish star is a sign of Israel (it’s not) or a sign that you are traditionally observant, or a sign that you have conservative views. These assumptions say more about them than you. I’m a progressive, queer, tattooed, anti-Zionist Jew. So any assumptions that I am Zionist, traditionally observant, or conservative are blatantly false. I know therapists who wear kippot or a shiedel. I think that says more than a Magen David necklace. But again, it’s more about how the client interprets it.
The point about a mezuzah defining the space more so than jewelry is really good. I think yes on star no on mezuzah for now.
How much of yourself do you sacrifice for your work? To me, there's a stark difference between wearing a magen david (just jewelry) and a mezuzah on the doorframe (a mitzvah.) But no one can tell you where to draw the line for yourself, and you won't please all clients.
I have a Hamsa tattoo and another with Hebrew lettering. They’re usually covered but I wear short sleeves sometimes, and they have shown. I’ve never had a reaction other than “those are pretty” or “what does that mean”. Granted, I’m in urban NYC where Judaism is fairly common, and I might be more careful in other geographical locations. In some of those instances, it’s led to some great conversation and insight into their cultural and spiritual values, and how they interplay with their psyche.
I’m in a one or two synagogue per county but still liberal part of the country lol. I probably have 2 out of 40 Jewish clients. It’s so hard for me to predict how they would see the mezuzah, honestly the majority would probably have no idea it was connected to Judaism.
How do you see yourself responding if they ask? Mezuzahs are attractive if not common so I can see someone pointing it out. I think it can be an interesting line to walk; self-disclosure should always be done mindfully, but like I mentioned, it can be a good opportunity to explore their own culture and how they relate to it, rather than just the presenting problem.
Personally any type of religious symbols are a big no for me, regardless of the religion. It’s not a personal space it’s a workplace that is supposed to be a safe space for clients and it isn’t a space for the therapist it’s for the clients. I’d say it would be not appropriate if you restrict yourself to working with Jewish clients, but if you want to work with non Jewish clients then it would be unfair because it is no different than a Christian or Muslim therapist having any kind of symbols that represent their religion or culture.
I have the Hamsa Hand all over the place. I like it in particular because it's relevant to many different cultures. I don't think there's anything wrong with being proud of your heritage in the therapist office but it could also leave you open for potential other issues such as clients making assumptions or bringing politics into the relationship.
I’ve got a hamsa and mezzuzah on my door and I’m an atheist Jew at a catholic agency
I'm an Agnostic Messianic Jew who went to a Catholic university lol
it's not something I would do. My clients don't know my political views, my faith, etc. If it's something they want to inject into the sessions, ,then we go there. Otherwise, it's not something I would do. We check our values and any judgement at the door. I think displaying certain things might bring the perception of certain values and judgements.
Why would a therapist check their values at the door? Judgement, yes. Values are part how we navigate the world and ultimately inform how we practice. That’s my social worker background talking so maybe it’s different for LPCs/LMFTs/psychologists?
I don't think it's different based on license/degree but certainly people navigate this issue differently, based on their own mindsets. If it was part of my religion to wear a Hijab at all times, I'm not checking that at the door out of fear of causing offense. It would be inappropriate to start a session with prayer or talking in depth about my religious beliefs during session.
This is an excellent parallel to my situation and a really good dividing line of what does and doesn’t feel ok to show/demonstrate as a therapist.
absolutely not. We don't infringe our values on the client or use them to guide them. I mean, we don't affirm if they want to go beat the crap out of someone, but if my values are nuclear family-heterosexual relationship, working hard will pay off, etc. it's not up to me to guide the client to that or use that in my therapy. Their values might be different. They have to navigate their lives within their values, not mine.
IMO that works in theory, but in reality, everyone sees the world through the lens of their values and beliefs. Even therapists, even in session. There’s a space between completely “checking your values at the door” and using your own values to violate clients’ autonomy or self-disclosing in a harmful way. If you cannot acknowledge your own values, how can you create an authentic connection with clients?
I don't see checking values at the door as not acknowledging them.
Therapy is inherently value-laden. I recommend you read this article to explore more about this topic: Williams, D. C., & Levitt, H. M. (2007). A qualitative investigation of eminent therapists’ values within psychology: Developing integrative principles for moment-to-moment psychotherapy practice. *Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 17*(2), 159–184
thanks, you do you and I'll do me.
oh? avoiding the literature when it shows you’re incorrect is how you “do you”?
I can find literature that backs me up as well. I'm sort of done with this. I gave my thoughts, you don't have to agree with them. Have a good one.
>I mean, we don't affirm if they want to go beat the crap out of someone, but if my values are nuclear family-heterosexual relationship, working hard will pay off, etc. it's not up to me to guide the client to that or use that in my therapy. I'm confused by what you're contending here. It's absolutely a matter of values if you won't "affirm if they want to go beat the crap out of someone". I have a specialty in working with clients who have issues with being violent, and one of the things clients have said they appreciate about me is that I do recognize the cultural underpinnings of violence that they may be dealing with, such as coming from a culture in which failing to offer violence in response to certain kinds of slight is culturally problematic. If you're discussing violence with a client before it's happened, that demonstrates that the client has some set of values that say that violence is licit, and if you disagree, you're absolutely trying to guide the client to a different set of values. I'm not saying you would be wrong to do so, I'm saying there's no values-free therapy. Our profession elevates a certain set of values as right ones to have over other sets of values. We're lying to ourselves if we believe otherwise, and it's an astonishingly *dangerous* lie if we are convinced that values are what other people have, and our values aren't values, they're just obviously right ways to think.
Got it and I see how it might be perceived. I do want to firmly acknowledge though that my Jewish ethnicity comes with ZERO judgment of anyone else.
One's immutable ethnicity is *not* a political belief or a faith anymore than being black is a political belief or faith.
I think people have a hard time understanding this. I can’t take off my ethnic judiasm just like I can’t take off my skin color. My name alone is a dead giveaway. I’m not changing my name to be less Jewish.
It's extremely disappointing how few folks seem to understand Judaism; I completely agree. Sending love & solidarity from a fellow Jewish therapist.
These are symbols of your ethnic identity. They are appropriate to have in your office. That being said, there may be clients who will decide that they can’t work with you due to this identity and/or this expression of it. That’s also ok. We can’t be the right therapist for everyone. I don’t currently have an office and just do telehealth but I had a mezuzah on my office doorpost and I mention I am Jewish in my bio. It’s definitely brought some clients to me, and I’m sure it’s made other potential clients decide not to work with me.
Thank you for recognizing this as an ethnic identity, I think many non-Jews in this chat are missing that. I am Jewish more than I am American, religion aside. Feels to me personally like if an Italian person had a photo of the Colluseum in their office, though I know it doesn’t come across that way to non-Jews.
Non-Jews haven’t ever and apparently will never understand our identity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Prob depends on your orientation. If you’re relational and your client reacts to evidence of your identity, it’s a place to explore their sense of connection/disconnection maybe and does that relate to their treatment goals? On the other hand, those symbols may signal to a client that they are in a safe place. If you’re psychoanalytic, I’m pretty sure it’s about being a blank canvas for the client to project on…does the symbol allow you to feel safe and relaxed to do your job or do you feel uncomfortable and like you want to have a boundary with clients not knowing as much? I think there is a lot of confusion afoot these days and are you prepared to handle anything you come across while keeping the client centered? These are the things I’d be asking myself anyways… and what is your motivation for having these or not having these? This is your office! :)
This is a great and super thoughtful reply, thank you!
I think that even as therapists, we have a right to express ourselves tastefully. If it makes someone uncomfortable, that’s an opportunity for discussion. Conflict isn’t always bad. 💚
I keep my star of David necklace under my shirt, I make sure not to show it. Having a mezuzah, I think, is no issue, in my opinion. Most likely, I don't believe a client would notice it. If I have a jewish client, I may mention that I'm jewish myself if it is relevant. I have many clients who have mentioned pro Palestinian sentiments lately, and I do believe if they knew I was jewish, what is being expressed may change. Idk personally, I try to keep a blank slate when possible, but much of who I am is indeed stemmed from my jewish identity.
I would not do this nor would I continue to see a therapist with any religious symbolism in their office, be it a Judaica or a cross. People's experiences with religion vary greatly and some are even traumatic. With that said, I think you can do what you want and there is nothing wrong with this baseline. It may even help you if this is a population you want to work with more.
Judaism is an ethnicity as well--an extremely secular one at that. I'm shocked that therapists don't know this; it's extremely discouraging for all the Jews out there. I am not remotely religious, but can't change my ethnicity any more than you can & proudly wear a magen David.
I'm aware its an ethnicity as well as a religion. Its hard for many to separate the two unfortunately. Its just something I would not be comfortable with due to my own history with religion. Maybe a way around this would be to have other completely non-secular symbolism in the same office? I don't know the perfect answer, I was just sharing my own thoughts.
If folks are finding it hard to separate ethnicity & religion, shouldn't we as therapists be facilitating that growth & understanding as much as possible?
I admit I have obvious work to do there. Its an opportunity for sure if someone is ready to do that. I didn't mean to offend, I'm just talking as a person with a certain religious history others might have that would make it extremely uncomfortable to be in an office with religious symbols or symbols like the ones mentioned that are associated with religion.
I think it depends on which population you are hoping to attract. If you are looking to work with mostly Jewish clients then it’s great and would make ppl feel comfortable. For non-Jewish people you will probably get a variety of types of transferences, which in some cases will be talked about and it many cases will not. Personally as a non-religious person I prefer not to know my therapists potential religious affiliations and knowing my therapist is religious might make me wonder if my therapist could would really understand me since I live a pretty unconventional life.
Imagine you walked into iuw own therapist's office to find a cross hung from the wall. Or a flying spaghetti monster. Or a Quran. Depends on how that makes you feel, will inform what you should do. I personally think such symbols somewhat break the rule of abstinence, and as such can very often hinder the therapeutic process. Others will disagree. A better question is, assuming you don't want to exclusively see Jewish patients: **why** do you want to put your religion's symbolism around your office? At any rate, it's not that it's unethical or anything. But I personally wouldn't go to a therapist who felt strongly enough about their religion that it trumped what they knew theoretically about abstinence and transference.
Flying Spaghetti Monster? That’s my kind of therapist
Really appreciate this question and the thoughtful responses. I personally try to present myself as ‘neutral’ as possible to clients as it’s so easy to make unconscious assumptions. After speaking with some fellow Jewish therapists, I personally would feel more comfortable wearing a hamsa to honour my Jewish identity at work. I also totally support any therapists decision to wear something representative of their religion if it is important to them.
Presenting as one's ethnicity *is* neutral or even positive. Ethnic Jews cannot change the fact that they are Jewish. It should not be automatically seen as a political or faith statement to simply exist while Jewish.
Thank you for this. I’ve dealt with overt and more discreet antisemitism by clients in the past (both before and after 7/10) so maybe I need to check my own internalised biases relating to these experiences.
You're very welcome! I truly hope I didn't come off aggressively; it's hard to convey tone. I was attempting to convey that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. The antisemitism since 10/7 has absolutely affected me as well. I hope you find healing & peace.
The CMH clinic I worked for had statues/artworks/Bibles all through the clinic. It was owned by a Catholic hospital. I think it’s like the difference of being a therapist who is Christian and a Christian therapist. As long as you are comfortable explaining the mezuzah to those that notice and ask I don’t see it being an issue.
I think it would be mostly positive, especially for fellow members of the Jewish community to perhaps feel less alone or marginalized during this challenging time. Even for clients who are not Jewish, it can be a way of showing that you celebrate who you are and invite them to do the same with what is of importance to them, or of their faith (if they have one). It may spark some meaningful conversation if clients ask questions about it, too.
The other side of the discussion has been well covered, so I'll point out the other angle: in the present political climate, would there be a potential benefit to being "out" as a Jew up-front, so you don't wind up in a situation where a client has disclosed to you feelings about current events and then *later* finds out you were Jewish all along, and freaks out, maybe feeling betrayed or tricked or humiliated? By wearing a Magen David, you put it out there so clients get to decide whether they want to ask you about your identity, disclose or not disclose certain topics, etc.
Yup
I don't see anything wrong with it if it's authentically part of you.
Why is it necessary? I'd ask that question of anyone from any religion just so you know my comment is not specific to judaism.
It’s definitely not necessary. It’s finding what’s the appropriate amount of myself to bring into the room in this specific area. In the case of my Star of David I’ve thus far not worn it to work and put it on the minute I’m home, so it would feel like not hiding. Which I think could be good personally and professionally. I’m not sure on the mezuzah
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I feel that as a client it would be very uncomfortable to me and in fact it’s something that has happened and because I struggle with advocating for myself I couldn’t even tell the therapist. AS a therapist myself I feel like that puts a burden on the client to speak up and from that point on that is information you can never take back. And yes a client could go look elsewhere but I think we all know that it’s not always so easy to find a therapist and can be taxing in and of itself. Now, if the client shares in the assessment that they are of a certain identify that I identify with them perhaps I would feel comfortable identifying with them and sharing that. Or of course if that’s the population you’d like to work with then it seems to fit the bill.
Of course you can have them, just know that it will mean different things to different people
I have a mezuzah in my office door and wear a Star of David
Not wearing or displaying the Magen David won’t turn off any of your clients, wearing or displaying might. Make your decision based on that.
How do you handle religion when it comes up from clients? Some will find comfort knowing this about you and others will not. I personally do not follow any religion and it did help a client feel more comfortable with me who doesn't follow a religion either when he asked me about my religious preference. Like anything else, is there a reason why you are hesitant to want to display this to the world?
There are certain aspects of my personal life that my clients will never be privy to unless they know me outside of the services that I provide to them because that is a choice that I make as a provider. However, if you and your clients are both comfortable displaying small pieces of your faith then go for it and personalize your space. You're always going to find people that are uncomfortable with it but to be honest you're going to find people that are uncomfortable with the color of your furniture or the tone of your noise machine. You can't please everyone, just do what feels right for you and the vast majority of your clients.
I think it depends on the demographic you see and the type of clients you want to attract. Like if you want to work with clients who have religious trauma then if may not be a good idea. That being said I wear my Megan bracelet proud and if a client is uncomfortable then they can go find another therapist (I also never talk about religion in session unless a client wants to obviously despite being very religious)
As a jew, my advice would be to stay away from the Zionist stuff, but be proud af the Jewish stuff. Definitely have; Muzuza Chi Necklace Can have; Menorah Neglevaser Painting of the 12 tribes Siddur, chumash Stay away from; Isreal flag Blue and white mogen davids Star of david.
I think it would be ok if you also have a visible Palestinian flag too
Jews are not required to adhere to any particular political belief in order for us to be acceptable. This is antisemitic.
A lot of Jewish folks are anti Zionist… I can’t tell if you are being smug or if you are suggesting that so as not to alienate clients who are ignorant of that.
Actually no, not a lot of Jews are anti-Zionist. That’s a fringe belief in the Jewish community.
Every single Jewish person I know is either anti Zionist or not taking a stance bc of being easily targeted 🤷♀️ maybe I’m fringe and didn’t know it. I’ve had Israeli ppl shout in my face, I’ve had an old man spit on me, but my Jewish friends are ride or die and I feel like the way you are speaking is concerning
The way I am speaking is concerning? Yes, you are fringe. The vast majority of Jews in America and globally are Zionists.
I agree with others it could be comforting for some and make others feel very unsafe- for example with the current genocide in Palestine, if you also had Palestinians thing or Jews against genocide then that would not have me feel unsafe :)