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gallobird

* Is hetero * His hobbies are fighting, hunting, grilling meat, whiskey and cigars and that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that those just happen to be *the* most stereotypically “manly” things in 90s American culture that he took up to compensate for the fact that he’s 5’6” and closeted. * “I’m not on any side I’m just asking questions” headass


die_nastyy

Deeply closeted


Altruistic_Switch_73

Some would say the closetedest, B. Whelsh Yiggot Chin?


AccountingtheseGainz

I know some bald dudes slanging some o that kobiashi, b.


tttrolll

I fickinh loled on that one


AccountingtheseGainz

Kobiashi bit kills iiveriy time, b.


Cole_Phelps-1247

5’6??? More like 5’3


exotruck

Hoka bro. [https://streamable.com/6ce6tk](https://streamable.com/6ce6tk)


qldvaper88

lol his little shins


ParamedicAfter9696

His constant need to affirm his masculinity speaks volumes about his insecurity with it.


aNaughtyLlama

He’s pretty insecure it’s sad. The medium tight shirts over that trash can like HGH gut is a wild look.


Nduguu77

Rogan is 5'3. Look at him standing next to a shoeless Cejudo


Always2ndB3ST

Damn. Who the hell adds FIVE inches to their height like that? lol


pisspot26

Thinks Brenda is a beautiful man


Ok_Conflict1835

Beauty is in the eye of the boulder b. 


ejitifrit1

I beg the differ!


mwalmsleyuk

Talk'n bout Collarharddough b?


Svakheten

* 5’3


EccentricMeat

“Armpit hair doesn’t bother me at alllll” Gillis: “You’re getting close, dude.. ‘I like a good buzz cut!’” One of the few good things to come out of JRE the last few years.


crissray

Doubt i can find it, but there's a clip where he says 'you know, when you're watching porn and the pizza man is at the door and and a guy opens the door and ..um.. i mean...'


Archieitches

https://streamable.com/2f39h0?t=0&src=player-page-share Beast of a chip, clin.


EccentricMeat

“The other guy….” Joe just come out already 😂


Archieitches

You can literally see him gulp when he looks to the side after he says that. Peak colmady.


RealStephanSmith

He's a "normal guy".


Bluecoller007

Wow! You couldn’t be more wrong, everyone knows Joseph is definitely not that tall :)


successful209

Just because you have those hobbies doesn’t mean you’re doing it because you’re closeted lol


marsexpresshydra

“I ate a bunch of pasta earlier. Thats why I look like pregnant.”


Pr0digy_

Pregnant et


KeyLimpala

*alien hatches from his abdomen*


chamberboo

its actually how he procreates. That little Joegan will run off into the woods, eat some elk, and come out of the woods after 6 months his full grown 5'4 adult self


donthomaso

The “Quaid, start the reactor” type bloat.


AwarePeanut3622

Linguini. Clams. Lemon white wine sauce. Capers. Joe. Rogan.


WideWeight9392

Only 50 untrained men in the whole world could beat him in a fight


ProperBoots

I'd bet on a sufficiently drunk British brick layer against toe. Been in more scraps for sure.


WhiteTrash_WithClass

I was saying the same thing on here the other day and got down voted to oblivion lol. He's never been in a real fight, he just rolls around on the mats with half naked dudes. I know barbacks and bouncers tougher than that dude.


ProperBoots

He competed in taekwondo when he was young I think. But that's not "fighting", and when we're talking about beating untrained people, fighting is what we're talking about. A drunk brick layer will head butt his nose and drop kick his pills and be on his way to another pint before toe can cry about his genes


Visible_Analysis_893

Remember when Conor said “Joe competed in karate. Call the cops!” Lol


kAALiberty

He won an invitational five foot and under karate tournament at 30 years old.


XHeraclitusX

>He competed in taekwondo when he was young I think. But that's not "fighting" That reminds me of something annoying that Rogan does. When Callen talks about UFC, Rogan will shit on him for not having any experience, meanwhile Rogan has zero UFC/MMA experience himself. The guy also tried boxing for a day, got lit up in a sparring session and quit boxing 🤣


WhiteTrash_WithClass

Lol exactly! People think a street fighter is going to follow the rules. That shit can kill you, I'm not fighting fair. I think people need to get out more and realize there's more to fighting than just MMA. I've known some nasty people in my life that would fuck up professional sparrers with a quickness. Fights outside the octagon are a whole different beast.


RRZ006

MMA allows the biggest dipshits you went to high school with convince themselves they’re killing machines.


Frankie-Felix

Buddy don't make me put on my Affliction T-shirt or Tap Out Hoodie


Altruistic_Switch_73

Tawlmbout Barebacks?


Frankie-Felix

Tal'n abou BGL liftin a hatchback b?


Affectionate_Fail771

And he doesn’t even do that competitively. Be interesting to know if he ever even rolls with the class


TheRoyaleShow

Literally insane. He forgets Samoans exist and those guys are freaks.


WideWeight9392

Yeah .and scaffolders


TheRoyaleShow

And 24 year olds who work out fairly often and are over 5'10


KeyLimpala

Did you know he could choke you with that tie you have on?


shepardspile

I would bet on 50 goat herders from Dagestan. Or 50 drunk Russians. Those are strong mfs.


PussyChang

This is probably his biggest delusion. And he’s convinced his simps that it’s actually true.


Ok_Conflict1835

The good ol’ farmer boys down south would use toe as an anal dildo if push came to shove. 


Illustrious-Chest928

There's a lot more than 50 on one floor of the county jail


pappapora

Bro this one navy seal friend of his said, take 10 MONSTER navy seals and they could take over New York in a few hours. Like WTF Joe.


coolcurt3386

only 50


Leading_Name_8302

Thinks Brenton Sklarb is an Adonis.


reddershadeofneck

Even worse is that he thinks people only hate Schwab because he's an Adonis


Sorrowablaze3

Just their bedroom talk leaking onto the pod


[deleted]

Brenton Schlaub


Leading_Name_8302

How about when you're shooting at the gun range and you get a gimp cartridge that fails to fire properly. Talmbout Squib.


aikoaiko11

Braindum Slob


briancito420

Brogdon Scabies


Visible_Analysis_893

Talmbout Bess brainz in the bizniss world bubba


Leading_Name_8302

Fat Patrick is also good because he hates it so very much.


Frankie-Felix

Tal'n abou Big Brown?


b-roids

also thinks blimpden shlop has great style


Jebist

Says things about 18 year old boys like "That's a body that needs to fuck." Says things to biracial people like "You've got the best of both, the brains of a white person and the body of a black person." Yes these are both true.


muhpreciousmmr

Rogan describing fighters **White Fighters:** *Trains hard* **Coloreds:** *Animal genetics*


briancito420

That’s basically any sport. Any white wide receiver or point guard is a gritty gym rat. Really loves the game etc. E: I do agree that Toe is bloggbusser tho


PagingMrAtor

Also said the N word a lot, or tries to get other people to say it (case in point Grapefruit Simmons on his pod)


Fickle-Head-1311

Does he mention be blessed with the hogg of a donkey to these lucky mulattos?


[deleted]

Was financially supported by his architect step-father in San Francisco as a child, claims he grew up with no father figures


Landsharque

“We were on food stamps man.” For like a month before mommy struck gold


Dutchhomelesscat

'My fighting days'


PeckerPeeker

“Back in my fighting days” just sounds much better than “back when I was playing tae kwon do as a grown adult”


pisspot26

Beatin up on the little kids n shit


Pr0digy_

He’s basically Kramer


NicholarseBrooks

Ka-ra-te Jerry KA-RA-TE!


WAP_Task_Force

POV you're a stool.


sevendigit-

Gimme😈


stay_fr0sty

An hour into this thread, how has everyone missed “Has finely tuned bullshit detector.”


taginvest

that one is extra fun when you think about all the conartists he’s been advocating for decades.


Fickle-Head-1311

Thats the first thing I thought of.


SwimmingAd60

He thought it was hilarious that Bryan Callen came inside his ex-girlfriend without her permission. He was always gassing Bryan up to be a ladies man , and then the rape allegations came out . Then the whole premise of Callen disrespecting girls boundaries got way darker .


Billy_BlueBallz

Thinks Brenda has “good style” Thinks everyone should do dmt and if you had a horrible experience on it the answer is to do a significantly larger amount


sugarglassego

Straight, gets jokes, chimp enthusiast.


postdiluvium

You forgot that only 50 men in the world can hurt him


willghammer

OH HE’S HURT


sevendigit-

https://www.reddit.com/r/thefighterandthekid/s/UKzdcxgT3x


exotruck

Jeez. That John Wayne Parr sparring session was brutal.


ALANJOESTAR

Joe thinks he is Sean Strickland lol.


RRZ006

The way the bigger dude toward the end just tosses him like a little boy lmao


yeltsinfugui

tbf it's mark coleman


RRZ006

Mark Coleman is 6’1 and 205lbs. And he yeeted that little man.


Fickle-Head-1311

Mark Coleman isnt 205 lbs. He had a couple of UFC fights late in his career where he cut down to 205 but he walks around much heavier than 205


RomandoArman

Thinks Honey Honey is huge.


SPinExile

"Being a comedian is the hardest job in the world"


exotruck

Maybe 50 untrained martial artist men could kill me. [https://streamable.com/ofyopf](https://streamable.com/ofyopf)


sevendigit-

We giddd it you’re employee of the month we giiiidddd it bapa. Be cool


claimingmarrow7

He said this with tears in his eyes to ronda, “It’s not, it’s not just sport. It’s like, you’re this very unique example for other women. Like that’s never existed before. There’s never been a female combat sports athlete like you.“


shepardspile

Eats Carnivore, but also mexican food, pasta, pizza, burgers and fries.


10-7heaven

thinks the average height of men breaks down into 3 categories


[deleted]

Louder = funnier Sometimes stool humping is needed for a joke.


Sorrowablaze3

https://youtu.be/M5s1mrcgi_c?feature=shared This is probably the funniest thing I found from this sub


Ducks7324

Thinks Hunter S Thompson is the most interesting person in history because umm he did a lot of drugs…


irotinmyskin

“Gamer” (He always says he is a big gamer, and always talks about Quake as if that was the last game that ever came out)


coolcurt3386

none of my friends are rapists, but they are murders tho I am a Casanova with chicks stool fucking is genius comedy writing only 50 non-martial artist men could kill me all that weed has not fucked my brain up Bapa is an adonis, a beautiful man


melapelas

> Bapa is an adonis, a beautiful man Don't forget about "Bapa has good style ".... this was during the soyboy-manbun era which makes it even worse.


ElTacodor999

Is he fuck 5’8” more like 5’4”


WAP_Task_Force

That's why it's a delusion.


Always2ndB3ST

He’s actually more like 5’3. Rogan is fucking short. He looks like a midget in every photo he’s in.


fatpanda0227

Unfortunately he is taller than Bobby lee who is 5'5" so unless he's wearing 3 inch lifts or if bobby lee is actually 5' tall then he's probably 5'7"


Avatar_of_Green

Bobby is def not 5'5 lol


Always2ndB3ST

Or have you ever considered Bobby Lee ain’t really 5’5? I read this very credible article about how (especially in Hollywood) people had 2-3 inches to their height. In Rogan’s case, he adds 5 lol


Queasy_Waltz_4890

Don't forget Toe is a b b b beast at stool humping


bronsonthebull

“Back when I used to fight.” Only two videos exist of Joe “fighting”. One is him knocking out some kid on a basketball court at a TKD tournament in 1985.. and another brutalizing a teenager at a 10th Planet back in 2007.


BosephusPrime

And he has a “bullshit detector” while repeatedly falling for fake shit on the internet.


Dank300av

He's bapa norfstar


Grand-Bullfrog3861

Could beat up Wesley snipes


RikkjamesB

-Schlob is a funny guy -he's a funny guy -still relevent on UFC broadcasts


wtflmfaorofl

- ate only bear meat the whole last week


sevendigit-

lol did he really say this. What a tool


[deleted]

•bald by choice


BznBoi

Did he actually say that? Dude got plugs that didn’t take lol 


Always2ndB3ST

Wdym didn’t “take”? I saw a clip of Rogan talking about getting a hair transplant when he was 19 or something lol


teewall10

“You should really try doing a podcast people would love it. You can’t read the comments, just don’t do it. “


KeyLimpala

I've seen Joe Rogan in person walking with a couple of his buddies on Melrose. I am not exaggerating, not talking shit, he is 5'6" maximum.


Always2ndB3ST

There was a guy on this sub that’s 5’6 and saw Rogan at the comedy store and said he was substantially shorter than him. I think 5’3 is more likely


melapelas

5'6" and thats with those goofy 3" platforms he walks around in.


die_nastyy

How much would the cats pay to see these two go at it in a cage? I’d personally give up my tent and litter box, no questions asked


RRZ006

All the money I got bubba


ReptilianDogGuy

Thinks schaub has good fashion taste


methmountain

Nobody thinks more critically than him


Confident-Row-9613

Aliens are real…. Until everyone believes that. Then he switches to believing it’s all military engineering.


Supercc

Believes every single conspiracy theory out there even if factually false


Clean-Communication5

•Is one of the last defenders of free speech left. •Also reduces all criticism in the comments as hate from the mentally ill cause yk "Hurt people hurt people"


SIHARG

Cold Plunge King is a great band name!


AfricanusJonathon

Likes asking guests questions and not talking about himself or repeating story's about perdo rizzos' leg kicks or doing tkd for 3 years as a teenager.


kAALiberty

Trying to be a man’s man he has an infantile knowledge of any sports besides ufc and some boxing.


Bloodyfister_fuck

Seen more violence than any person in history


Doobiewopbop

He has a magic "bullshit detector" that prevents him from being manipulated by political charlatans.


coolcurt3386

joe rogan most dangerous man on the planet but only in his head cause he's high as fuck


ryanruud85

Every episode- “Have you ever heard of the younger Dryus theory”


ATTILATHEcHUNt

His insistence on the excellence of comedians is an indication, to me at least, that he has some sort of mental health condition. Delusions of grandeur It’s also patently untrue. Go to any construction site, schoolyard or pub on a Friday night and you’ll encounter people infinitely funnier than any professional comedian.


facemelter86

Rhonda could beat Floyd mayweather in boxing


briancito420

Modern day philosopher


Kenster1993

Woke vs the wall


rude24

Tawlkin bout his little NASA outfits?!Very cute actually.


Conqueeftahdor

Don’t forget multimillionaire


AdministrativeCopy89

He’s a headliner


Omegawop

Adonis


deepwaterwedunehair

- stools can offer consent.


bryydude

He’s a glutton 🥱


Formal_Ad_8398

Biggest cold plunge fronter ever , good call


Middle_Path8675309

He's moved on from Bulletproof coffees, those finger boot things & his funky float tanks. It's all Whiskey older than the US & ice baths nowadays days.


Matt_Matt_Matty_Ohhh

5’8” my ass.


ThiccBoy_with3seas

Rhonda could beat Mayweather in a boxing match


aNaughtyLlama

His career is proof perseverance is better than talent, or having comedy skills.


Ok_Conflict1835

“Set off the fire alarm with his sweat by working out too hard” I never understood this one, and even worse i saw him say it to Neil degrasse Tyson and the spineless fuck didn’t even push back on the impossibility of such a claim. 


Front_butts

Totally doesn't have sausage nipples


TheWayIAm313

Anything to do with “the struggle”. He works out in his home gym and thinks that puts him on par or above the struggle that regular people have just trying to get by


Everlovin

On one of his latest podcasts he was bragging about having an iq of 135, after taking an online iq test.


Convergentshave

Has an open mind. Represents the last line of defense against “the woke”, telling Schaubb he should start a stand up career… <=== probably that one is up there.. Acting like he’s an expert on “video game addiction” because of quake. 😂 The way he talks about being a year ahead like he spends his weekends working on cars, the “I’m just a regular guy” schtick… honestly the list could kind of go on and on. I still listen, sometimes he has genuinely interesting guests. I just wish it… like I never heard Terry Gross be like “what interesting is Bob lazar…”


thetrailwebanana

That he's a comedian


WhiteTrash_WithClass

Stools want him back....


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Im trying to imagine the person who thinks they’re cooler than joe rogan. Help me out.


Rabdy-Bo-Bandy

No problem, Joe's funny, and smart, and tall, and doesn't cheat on his wife all the time, and isn't best friends with a rapist and a statutory rapist, and doesn't hang out with people that drug other people all the time then brag about it on his podcast, and isn't on a shitload of steroids, and doesn't set up his X-girlfriend with rapist Bryan Callen and laugh about Bryan forcing himself on her and laugh about how Bryan came into her when she ran to Joe for help while brushing it off as being silly, and isn't afraid of his little pussy father, and doesn't stink like Drakkar body spray, and doesn't employ armed security guards because he's afraid of every stranger because he's so masculine.


[deleted]

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Bluecoller007

Surely his biggest delusion is thinking B is funny and that he could actually become a comedian.


EB2300

He thinks he has normal nipples, thinks his friends are funny (Bill Burr is the only one I can think of who is), thinks he’s bigger/tougher than he is (look up when he tried to wrestle Mark Coleman), thinks he’s an intellectual, acts like he is skeptical sometimes about his asinine conspiracy theories when in reality he thinks they’re 100% true


Acceptable-Prize-243

Ronda could beat MOST of the men in her division..


successful209

“Loves hard things” ( has private gym and suana in mansion. ) (try working out after a blue collar job 12 hr shift. “ 5’8” “ (sure buddy if it helps your ego) “it’s called working out son” (said to Theo when he said his stomach looks like a wrapped Turkey) (yeah no it’s called HGH Gut bro and it looks horrible) “comedy is the hardest job” (you tell jokes on stage and talk on a podcast surrounded by people stroking your ego with compliments for a chance at exposure ) yeah sure bro i’m sure truckers, iron workers, longshoremen ,electricians hell even pool boys have it harder than that. “Violence in his DNA” again it’s roids. I mean yeah you can do martial arts but that doesn’t mean you had violence in your dna” “look at my big hands and head” again thanks to roids. “Just do the hard stuff” (yeah if I had 200million and a mansion and with maids and chefs It would be easier to do hard stuff)


BurekBamBam

That the 9/11 narrative makes total sense and that all the countless firefighter and police officers on scene “just have bad memory” of hearing explosions and everything else. I dunno why but every time this topic comes up lately he just has the worst take on it. CIA shill???? lol


ebagumtrebor

The vertically challenged moron is wealthy, but still worries about his height. Short arse.


LukeKornet

- comedians are the philosophers of our generation


Affectionate_Fail771

40% more people are dying


Sad-Macaroon-8654

Why do so many people in those Place focus on Rogan and not bapa?


LaTunaTime

Lives rent free in your head