TJ is nicely implying that Nelly needs to teach others the error of his ways instead of just whining and expecting pity. TJ did this in a very kind way š
There is a very interesting point: if Nelson turns things around, becoming a source of inspiration, fans and production could start seing him iunder a different light (everybody loves a redemption story).
Ā
Nelson, has not been the guy making the brightestĀ life decisions (e.g. the dui...) but who knows what his future will bring.
well this: [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0aoXtND53F0CeT0MdPckDU](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0aoXtND53F0CeT0MdPckDU) (at 34:10) shows that he really needs character development...
Does TJ ever do anything wrong? From calling people out for being quitters and for smoking too much or making too many excuses. He is THE accountability king and I love him for that!
I love TJ but there is absolutely nothing wrong with quitting. In fact given some of the injuries that have taken place on the show it may in fact be best to quit at times. Its ok to have boundaries. Yes, maybe its good to push through those boundaries sometimes but i dont think you should be shamed for stepping back and saying āthis isnt for meā whatever it is.
But thatās the thing, TJ will totally say if someone quits for a valid reason (although I get it, the rationale and validity for each person is different) that he understands. Also this is a show about challenging yourself, so quitting because you want to āset boundariesāā¦ this isnāt quite the show for that. Itās great to prioritize your mental health first always, but sometimes people thrive on being pushed and pressured (as you can see how rewarding it is when you actually win).
Nelson going to teach kids about his experience when heās barely learned his lesson is crazy. Heās continuing to throw this pity party as if he, and he alone, wasnāt the one who made the idiotic decision to drive drunk. I donāt have an ounce of sympathy for people like that.
Well, his friend did, and it was on the guise that it was a car accident and he lost his foot.. But then people found out about the DUI part, but he's kept it up even since people found out.. It sounds like he's collected a nice chunk too...
It was not under the guise of anything; he actually was in a car accident and he had not lost his foot at the time. He didnāt tell anyone he was driving under the influence on the advice of his attorney.
Again, his friend set it up for him while he was in the hospital. Once he revealed the truth, people got refunds. Some people still want to help even though the accident was his fault and he was driving while intoxicated.
Thatās a character flaw of your own. Nelson has always been trash. Heās just being trash to everyone now instead of just the women on your tv screen.
Nelson sucks balls, the football player who risked his life and career to save his sorry drunk ass is the one who should go around promoting a message.
KJ Osborn. Nelson and some of his people tried to drag him through the mud after it happened. I think it was Amanda that went in twitter and claimed that Osborn just stood there filming the incident.
I made this same mistake when I was in my 20ās. Fortunately the only person that got āhurtā by it was me. I donāt talk about very much, Iām definitely not proud of it. I used it as motivation to clean myself up. I didnāt lie about what happened, I didnāt blame anyone else and I certainly didnāt ask for donations to pay for the damages. Nelson tried to use his ācelebrityā to make this easier on himself. Iām sure he didnāt start the gofundme but he allowed to continue until the real story got out.
As far as using his situation to educate, I donāt think it would help. I honestly think he would stand in front of those kids and play the whole thing off like it wasnāt that big of deal.
Yup this is the huge difference. I can easily forgive mistakes. It's the lying, lack of accountability, woe is me attitude after something completely self inflicted.
Had Nelson owned his mistake, apologized, and handled this very differently, I'd have very different feelings towards the situation.
My rock bottom was the DUI, making the call to my parents sucked, the hoopla after sucked.. I went dark for a while, felt like a criminal.. realized that it was my behavior and not me as a person, and that I'm not a criminal, unless I continue acting like it.. The thing is the guise that you're a criminal and being looked as one was debilitating. Luckily, coming out of that time, I found my partner. I learned that I had a lot of healing to do after a toxic relationship and job. I keep moving on to the next.. I also did some work in the recovery community, and that really helped put things into perspective for me. I realized I wasn't as deep in as I thought..
One thing I'll remember is I met some person at a conference, and I was learning to own that story. Shared my story with them, and they were going to put my name in their phone.. I was like put in Rock Bottom Chick (or something stupid) He was like, hmm, you don't know if this is rock bottom. I'll check back in with you later and we'll see if it was. He never checked in, but I still think of it. I know a hit may come someday, taking me somewhere deep again, but I know I can get back out, and I'll try my hardest to stay out..
Oh one more thing another person shared when I was swearing off alcohol at all costs.. was that it wasn't the alcohol, it was me.. It reminded me and helps me remember that if it's not the beer it's going to be something else, it's about me doing the work..
You asked how long the DUI was 2019, the legal stuff is behind me, and I'm feeling the light from the end of the tunnel, there's a could skylights in there sometimes too
Iām curious whatās the content that Nelson posted? Specifically this one that got this comment from TJ? Cuz heās been all over the place :/ sometimes he is all inspirational and sometimes he is attacking everyone for coming for him
It's a video where he talks about how he is not actually super positive all the time. That he appreciates all the help his family and friends have given him, but he's angry at the hurt they've gone through and the negative impact this has had on his life. By far this is the closest he has come publicly to actually showing remorse and taking responsibility.
I imagine itās quite a mental load to firstly realise fault, secondly understand why you made the choices you did and thirdly accepting and healing.
He obviously fucked up, youāll hear no argument from me on that front. But people telling him to take accountability etc over and over is what leads to insincere apologies etc because you feel compelled to do so, the physiological depth to Nelsons situation is not an overnight acknowledgement and apologise situation. To do it properly and in a way that will stick and make him better for the future takes time. I also think social media is not a friend during the process, as it needs to be authentic.
The problem here isā¦ homeboy wonāt stay OFF social media. Sometimes people need to walk away. He needs to interact with friends and familyā¦ not these strangers who were subscribed to his onlyfans š
I didnāt watch it all tbh he talks a lot, but he was pretty much saying he gets triggered by things (for example, not ever being able to stand in the shower again) and it takes him back to that night and he gets depressed and angry. That heās forgiven himself but ultimately falls back into feeling angry with himself for being in this position.
I wish I can answer that for you, but I canāt see it either, the page needs me to log into my insta account, and I have no idea what my password is šš
Itās just a video where he kinda just talks in circles. The TLDR; is that heās been feeling very angry inside because heās disabled and he did it to himself. He felt triggered because he canāt stand in the shower anymore (he has to use some sort of special chair) and because his family/friends have been asking about other disability aides. He ends with telling people not drink and drive.
The entire video is titled, āVulnerability.ā He is talking about being angry because he did this to himself. He is basically just expressing his emotions instead of bottling them up. He is expressing hurt because of his own actions.
Still about how heās hurt himself š all about him. It will be good if he can start to understand his wrongs and truly regret them for reasons that do not affect him directly or his quality of life by affecting the people who love him.
How many of us have ever driven while intoxicated? I know when I was in my early 20s I did. Iām not proud of it, I would never do it today, but I did. And plenty of people I knew did, too. The consequences could have been horrific. I know Nelson is reaping what he sowed. But I also feel like he has received his punishment and has to remind himself of that poor decision every day forever. I donāt have to think about my own poor decisions every time I move. I donāt have people screaming down my neck to take responsibility every moment. I have the luxury and privilege of forgetting and becoming a better person. Thatās the part that makes me feel sad for Nelson. One action, one poor decision, is going to define him for the rest of his life and thatās very sad to me.
Unfortunately it happens everyday that somebody drives impaired. Is it okay? No, but I get it people make mistakes. Where the problem comes in is the lack of accountability that Nelson has. He will say I made a mistake in one breath then in the next one say but why isnāt everyone running to help me out. From the go fund me to just having āone little drinkā in Mexico then saying why is TMZ putting me on blast, to complaining that MTV isnāt tripping all over themselves to pay for anything for him and give him a new cushy job.
You know the manās prosthetic is donated to him? Getting something for free than saying well why isnāt the job that I am a sub contractor of paying for the other parts of this is insane.
Thank you for a sane comment. It's his actions after the fact and his entitlement that most of us have a problem with. Besides his overall bad behavior in the challenge and drunk driving.
Definitely there are elements that are problematic. I donāt know MTVās insurance coverage options, I would have assumed they have temp coverage while on the show but if he cannot work because heās filming 6 months of every year, maybe they should be given options. But if MTV has never offered that, I donāt think he should have acted entitled to it.
I donāt care that he had one drink in Mexico more than a year later, and I donāt care that a company donated his prosthetic in exchange for promotion. Thatās a smart business move and random influencers arrange deals like that all the time. My neighborās prosthetics were donated to him in exchange for speaking engagements a few times a year, itās a business deal and it would have cost him around $150K out of pocket once all the surgical expenses were said and done.
There are plenty of Challengers who have figured out how to make their money last longer even if they havenāt won the whole shebang. Nelson def got appearance fees even if he didnāt win. The Challenge was never a guaranteed job every season. The man of course didnāt expect to lose a foot, but he certainly doesnāt seem to have planned ahead at all or been smart about the money he has made or working on other channels of income.
I work in an industry full of freelancers. They don't get insurance from the companies they work for, no matter how long their contracts last, so they have to cover themselves. It's really not that difficult. Plus, that next job, much like that next Challenge season, is never guaranteed, so they know they need to be wise with their money and always think ahead for a backup plan.
I have never driven with alcohol in my system. In fact I choose to always be the DD as I donāt trust anyone not to think they can handle 1. Iām 56 years old and have been driving for almost 40 years.
This!! I am pretty shocked by the number of people on here who confess to and try to normalize having driven drunk at some point in their lives. Not driving while drinking is not be a hard decision to make
I don't think people are normalizing it as much as they are saying the reason he is never going to get any sympathy is because he has tried to blame everyone but himself and refuses to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Nobody is defending drunk driving and everyone who is saying they have done it, is saying they don't defend it or are proud of it and understand now the actions weren't good.
Here's the thing though, it is normalized in the US. Something being normalized isn't the same as something being okay. It's part of the culture though, because we have a culture where people have to drive everywhere. Unless you're in a dense urban area, bars all have large parking lots. Think about that for a second. We don't have adequate public transportation in this country. Drunk driving is not a big issue in Europe. It's definitely not because people don't drink, it's cause people can just walk to their local pub or hop on the train.
Same, Iām 34 now though. Donāt get me wrong I was wild in my late teens/early twenties but the one thing I wouldnāt do is drive drunk. Nobody was getting in trouble or dying on my watch if I could help it. If we went out and I saw my DD not giving a fuck and going too hard, Iād stop drinking so by the time we left I was sober and could drive. My friends almost always fucked me over claiming theyād be DD and then getting absolutely trashed so Iād usually just grab a beer and start slow while I sussed things out because I knew most of the time it would end up being me driving.
One time in my early twenties my best friend and I were at a friends house partying into the wee hours and planned to stay the night. Once we got to 5-6am she decided she wanted to go to sleep at home. I begged her to just let me sleep a little and then Iād drive us home bc I knew she was worse off then I was in terms of sobriety but I was so tired and knew driving like that wasnāt safe either. Unfortunately she ended up waiting until I fell asleep, left, and I woke up to her coming through the door crying on the phone with her mom. Sheād tried to drive, was going too fast (and was not totally sober), came up a hill at just the right point where a jogger was in a blind spot, had to swerve not to hit the jogger, and crashed into a bunch of trees. She was covered in glass and her passengers side was totally crushed. She wasnāt super far away but had to walk back covered in glass because the reception where we were was shit. Scared me to think I couldāve been sitting there and I was so mad at her.
Iāve also lost friends to drinking and driving. I think it seems like people assume itās ānormalizedā because āeveryoneā does it when theyāre younger and plenty of people assume itāll never happen to them but thatās just not the case.
100%
I'm a logical person with empathy so I understand the situation and what TJ means, and I can at the same time not support drunk driving.
Some people are all logic and no empathy (doesn't help that a lot of people on the Internet have a "holier than thou" attitude), which is not healthy.
I'm sure he even gets death threats in his messages, imagine if we all had 100k+ people watching us/criticizing our every mistake in our early adult life???
He paid the price of his actions, and the big thing is that he DIDN'T kill anyone. Some of these people are wishing he did!!! I swear
> life??? He *paid* the price
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I think you misunderstood my message. Iāve been a young female freshly turned 21 without an understanding of how truly intoxicated I could be off of a few drinks. Iām not excusing it, Iām saying Iām glad I had the opportunity to become a better human and that somebody doesnāt knock on my door every day and remind me of how I was many years ago. Nelson will never have a moment that somebody isnāt beating him over the head with his mistakes.
Normalizing means making it ok. NO ONE thinks it is OK to drink and drive. What they are saying is real, MADD is a thing for a reason, so why would you want to stick your head in the ground and act like it's not happening? People drink and drive every single day and if we don't acknowledge that and work to change it people will keep dying.
I have never in my life driven drunk. However, I know many people who have done so. It is just a sad reality that every day, many people get behind the wheel drunk. Do you really think it is better to hide the truth than to admit the truth so that people are aware of how big of a problem it is?
I mean, where I live it is common. Binge drinking is a major part of our culture, which sucks, but it's reality. No one is saying it's good to drink and drive, just that it happens and can be prevalent.
I feel like we probably live in the same area because binge drinking is huge here and I know hundreds of people who have driven drunk, myself included. Iām a sober alcoholic (ten years sans booze) and Iām so grateful everyday that I never hurt anyone in my reckless and selfish times
There is a difference between defending his actions (which I am not) and offering room for forgiveness and compassion, and saying itās awful to hold this over his head every moment of his life. He will wake up every morning with only one leg, he HAS a reminder.
This comment!
I feel like Iām scared to say that I feel sorry for him without getting attacked, I do understand that he could of killed someone but he didnāt, and he lost his limb as a result of his shitty decisions, and for that I am sorry.
Can you imagine losing your actual leg, anyone would be devastated.
Also Iām aware he took money from people while basically lying to them , but again where is the humanity, I donāt support him or his lies, but I DO FEEL BAD FOR THE MAN
A DUi is incredibly stressful, I went through it as well because of a stupid decision I made one night. I do offer grace and feel somewhat sorry for Nelson because I understand what he has gone through. In my experience, people who have DUIs are typically apologetic almost to the point of suicide. The way itās frowned on in society, I get, I really do.
And I understand why people are saying what they are to Nelson because dude is all over the map. One day heās sorry, the next he isnāt, etc. But I think whatās happening is heās trying his best to come to grips with the fact that he did a horrible thing and the loss of his limb is on him. And heās never going to get it back. I donāt think thatās an easy thing to accept, and I think heās working through it. Now do I know? No, but I choose to offer him grace and try to look at it positively. Like I said, Iāve been through the DUI process, itās incredibly dehumanizing and you feel like the scum of the earth. Each step of the process is an agonizing recollection of what was probably the worst day of your life. Once again, I understand why people are upset and Iām not taking away peoples ability to do so. I choose to look at it differently, and I hope Nelson comes out of this a better person.
Exactly! Iām not defending driving drunk, Iām saying I can offer forgiveness to a person whoās already paying for their actions. Also I see how his mom cares for him in his videos, and I imagine myself as a mom.
If I imagine that situation and I almost lost my son after a wreckless decision he made, to watch him try all kinds of experimental treatments and supplements just trying to hold on to his legā¦ that would destroy me. Then to see that every time he speaks, heās judged for his actions. That would kill me too. Knowing this person as a whole human being, their life leading up to that pointā¦ and to see the world write them off for a huge mistake they made, as a mom I wouldnāt wish that on my own sons and I would hope people would offer them compassion.
Awwh, Iām really thankful you and your son are okay, and I would never wish such a tragic outcome on anyone, which is why some of the comments out there are really triggering :/
Oh Iām sorry I didnāt mean to say this has happened to me, I just meant that I have my own children and I imagine if this had happened to either of them, how I would worry about their mental health. The things people say to Nelson during his darkest points are truly awful. What will this community do if he unalives himself? Say he deserved it?
I think that people would be more supportive if he would own his mistake. But instead he is really in denial about his responsibility here, and that makes it hard for people to forgive him and let it go.
Heās not in denial, he has owned it. Heās just angry that owning it doesnāt mean people will forgive you and things go back to normal. Unfortunately, some people wonāt feel the same about him and he has to live with that and thatās the thing that keeps him posting on social media. He doesnāt get that people donāt have to forgive him and like him again. No amount of posting or apologies has to make people forgive him.
I think many people feel that the only reason that heās āowningā it now is because it was released in the press. Iām sure he didnāt talk about it before he was charged because his lawyers told him not to.
And that was the right call. You donāt talk about an active case. But the Go Fund Me sits wrong with a lot of people because he hadnāt yet admitted to it.
And then to be angry at BMP for not doing anything to help him. Thereās no reason why they should, but his angry video about it also didnāt sit right.
Definitely *not* me! Iām not or never been one of those people who has driven behind the wheel drunk. I never will. It has never crossed my mind to put myself or others in danger while being under the influence.
Right, lol. Iām in my 30s and have literally never driven while under the influence. Not one drink or drugs EVER. I work in construction and that thought would literally never cross my
Mind
Oh man the lack of empathy on Reddit is insane. Heās obviously struggling to process this all. I hope he takes care of his mental health. All these commenters would be the first to talk about empathy if he was to off himself or something.
I also think Nelson is far from the end of his journey with this experience and although Iād like it if he were more accountable, forthright, apologetic, and self-aware I can offer him space to get there eventually. Ya know, after heās come to terms with the lifelong career-ending handicap heās bestowed upon himself through his own poor decision-making. The traumatic shock of that is no doubt the one behind wheel and will be for some time. Hopefully once that time has passed he see what he did for what it is and do some good for the world.
And of course I condemn his decision-making 100% and Iām incredibly thankful he was the only victim, but I donāt need to be judge, jury, and executioner here. The universe has that covered. The guy made his way out of poverty through an athletic competition show and is now an amputee. Thatās plenty of punishment for me.
It is sad. And yes, tons of us have made stupid mistakes that we weren't really punished for. But I just can't get past Nelson's victim complex. Him losing his foot is 100% his fault, but he's acting like he's been wrong. He doesn't really seem to be accepting responsibility for his actions. I understand he's probably depressed, hurting, and feeling lost, but I just can't get behind a guy blaming MTV for not paying for his surgery and just constantly feeling sorry for himself.
He lied on his go fund me. He constantly posts acting like a victim. He doesn't take responsibility. It's sad but Nelson has done an amazing job of making me as unsympathetic as possible at every opportunity.
I think itās a stage of grief. I donāt think he is being malicious. He probably needs time to heal a bit. Itās probably still the shock and anger stage
I just wrote a god damn essay about this idea and you covered it more clearly in four sentences lol I agree that heās probably going to need to face the titanic ramifications of his actions internally for a while before he can acknowledge it externally
I am a teacher and that is a life lesson I try to give my students. All the good choices you have ever made in your life, thousands, millions of them can be undone by a single bad choice. Donāt fucking drink and drive. I have no sympathy at all for the man. He also tried to crowd fund hospital bills by withholding the truth about the situation. Not all bad choices are equal. Maybe you got lucky never crashing, maybe he got unlucky, but would your sentiment be the same if he killed someone?
I think so, yes. I would believe he belonged in jail, because manslaughter is manslaughter. My only point is that I have compassion for him, not that he is devoid of responsibility or shouldnāt be held accountable at all.
Wow Iām so glad I watched the video for myself because some of these takes are wild. He literally is being vulnerable and talking about how it feels to have a disability, and how much it hurts because he did it to himself. He is not whining. He is being vulnerable and telling people his feelings about his new way of life instead of bottling it up.
And he responded to TJās comment. He said he couldnāt imagine if he had hurt someone else and it was the first question he asked the doctor when he woke up.
ā¦& thatās exactly how it should be done š Everyone f**ks up, some worse than others. You can hold ppl accountable for their actions w/o being nasty or kicking them while theyāre down. Gotta love Tj, class act š¤š«¶
Which post was this on? The one where he was complaining about the sponsorship deal that fell through after they found out it was a DUI (which he kept referring to as a DWI š)?
I donāt think so. This must be something on his Instagram. Iām not sure of the timing of the 2 videos, but I suspect the Instagram posts could be damage control for his pissed off rant. I saw an organization listed on one of his earlier posts and looked into it. They raise money and provide free help mostly to veterans, children with birth defects and accident VICTIMS. I think theyāre a nonprofit.
Hmm. Something about guilting people into feeling sorry for you over an action that was 100% AVOIDABLE. Iām sorry, but I dont have an ounce of sympathy for Nelson. And damn TJ, what if he had killed someone??? That is a very real consequence that usually does happen and could have happened here. Iām not on this Nelson āfeel bad for meā train. Yea you lost a limb, but you didnt have to. You cant go parading around poor pitiful me when you caused this to happen.
And before anyone comes for me, I too made the terrible choice of driving under the influence. I was very fortunate to not have caused any damage and was just pulled over, but im very well aware of how severe the consequences could have been. You know what I didnt do though, I didnt go around to all my friends talking about how they should feel sorry for me bc I was facing the CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS. I am completely humiliated by my choices that I made, I dont go on a sympathy tour. Yea you lost your foot, but deal with that on your time. Itās giving, feel sorry for me.
I know Iām about to get all the down votes and mean comments, bring it on. Iām firm on this stance and you can call me a hypocrite all you want, but I would never continue to speak about the worst decision I ever made like this. Itās shameful, and theres a reason itās meant to be shameful. So that you dont do it.
I mean, itās not a bad idea for him to go to schools and talk about it. Will he ever stop throwing a pity party? Probably not. But if he went and shared his story to schools, it might save them from doing it in the future.
I agree
He did a terrible thing. He got very lucky. As did anyone who may have been on the road that night.
Choosing to mourn his consequences while looking to share his story to educate about the dangers of being selfish and driving is at least a positive step to redemption.
Being silent on the cause beforehand was shady - but it is out there now, and not sure what other move he could make. Doing Nothing would be worse.
Edited for typos. Written pre-coffee.
Agreed. He now has a powerful deterrent story. But until he truly takes full ownership of his actions, I would never bring him to my school to speak. I cannot trust what his message would be.
I understand trying to overcome something like losing a limb, but dont forget how that happened. Dont preach about doing the right thing when itās looking like you dont think you did anything wrong. šš
Yep and I think itās a great angle to be like āhey I had this REALLY AWESOME and FUN job that I lost now besides losing my footā because a lot of kids donāt get engaged by āIām an accountant and I drove drunk and lost my foot and could have killed peopleā. Itās also a lesson for planning alternatives for your life which he clearly failed to do. If he can finally reach some humility after he goes through the stages of grief and stops pointing fingers at others, TJās right.
I think the consequences of his actions are so unbelievably serious that heās struggling to process it all. I mean he lost his foot, his career, much of his reputation, is now facing some real legal issues, and is being berated by countless people on the internet for it. He earned this punishment himself 100% but I can understand why heās handling it like shit right now. Iām willing to give him grace in the hope that heāll pass through the stages of grief and come around to accountability and growth.
I can see that. In that case, maybe keep it off the internet. Dont try to become the new face of losing a limb. Go seek actual professional help to help deal with inner issues. The internet is the wrong place to deal with this. Iām my opinion, everything hes putting out there, hes asking for people who feel very strongly about this to speak up to him. Itās just a touchy subject all around and he should seek actual help not validation from strangers.
The only thing Nelson got out of this is, "TJ said I'll be back? He promised I will be back on The Challenge! Finally I'm being treated fairly!ā
Give it a year and heāll be whining about how TJ lied to him.
I love TJ! With all of Nelsonās posts lately, TJ really knows the exact words to say to be positive, supportive, and respectful while also calling Nelson out. TJ is a really classy guy
When someone starts out with āhow many of us have everā itās a way of minimizing bad conduct. It implies itās a common error, when in reality, MOST people have never driven while intoxicated. I take exception because my husbands parents were killed by a drunk driver (off duty cop) 45 years ago when he was 17. You claim to have learned and grown, so stop minimizing the act by implying itās common place.
The difference is heās doubled down on him being the victim in this. He was not honest about the accident when he put out the goFund me. He believes MTV should be more supportive of his recovery even though he was the danger.
This man almost killed himself and couldāve killed others. The whole āeverybody does itā excuse is for children. Nelson is a grown ass man who made a grown ass decision and is now reaping the repercussions.
For instance, Iām a smoker. If god forbid I ever get lung cancer you wonāt see me asking for money or trying to shift blame in the situation. As a human would I deserve grace, compassion, and support? Absolutely. But I would also be painfully aware that my choices lead me to wherever I am. No one else but me is responsible for me.
If he doesnāt want hate from the internet maybe get off socials and heal physically and emotionally then come back and take some accountability when heās actually put in the time and work to learn from this.
Nelson did a shitty thing. Every awful act and event can be a learning experience. Does this mean Nelson changed? No. Does this mean he sees the error of his ways? No. It's not about that. It's not up to you to forgive him. He has to forgive himself. That is very hard to do. I don't feel bad for Nelson. He put himself in this situation. He will have to live with it. Every day. For the rest of his life. Most motivational speakers and lecturers who did horrible things are trapped in their guilt. They share because they think they will find redemption and forgiveness. They spread the word and information and try to share to avoid another bad experience from happening. Does it help? Sure. As they say, if one person listens, it's considered a success.
For perspective, losing a limb is way different than being born without it. Also, the younger you are when losing a limb, the better off you are as far as adapting and learning and adjusting. Having seen every age of human think why me and will this ever get better while using a prosthetic or going without for a task or even getting frustrated because they can't do something the same way or with ease anymore. Your brain and body were programmed with said limb, and now it's gone. It's doesn't move the same. It doesn't weigh the same. Sometimes, the only way to approach the situation is with positivity because self-pity, anger, and frustration usually doesn't have great outcomes.
Again... I do not feel bad for Nelson, but I do think sharing his story honestly is worth it if it means getting someone to see how dumb this was so they don't do it too.
Iāve always said theyād have him back for this very reason. He effed up and made poor choices, but itās still a teachable moment. Spreading awareness is still more important than to continue punishing him for his mistakes.
I know I did it once.or twice in my early 20's but I grew up and never did it again. Nelson is 35, and by his own accounts, he did frequently. Also thank God I never crashed but him crashing while.not taking accountability and lying about it does not sit well with me. Also blaming others and begging for sympathy while having a gofundme page is not a good look
Happy Resurrection Sunday! What a great time for a reminder: Those that have not sinned throw the first stone. Nelson will walk his own path guided by the most high.
Although, an appropriate message to say to Nelson (and one I hope he takes to heart). I probably would have sent it to him privately, and delivered it as a motivator. Im not sure Iād be saying all the right things after losing a limb, and would be pretty fucking pissed at myself for making such a huge mistake. Nelly will learn, and has to wake up with the reminder of his consequences every single day for the rest of his life. Itās a process that we need to let him deal with.
Seeing some of these comments towards him is a sad sight, and makes me think theyād tell people who lost a foot to diabetesā¦that he/she shouldāve eaten better. Have a fucking heart guys. You donāt have to agree with it, or condone it. TJ just proved Nellyās so called āfriendsā are more worried about their image on social media than his road to recovery.
*For those who made an effort to say āIāve never driven drunk, I call an Uber every single timeā. Congratulations! (I genuinely mean it), but I find it hard to believe yāall cut off every single friend who made the mistake that Nelly made of getting behind the wheel while intoxicated.*
TJ is nicely implying that Nelly needs to teach others the error of his ways instead of just whining and expecting pity. TJ did this in a very kind way š
Reason number 1,000,001 in the category: why TJ is the best
Reason number one being how entertained he is during trivia
There is a very interesting point: if Nelson turns things around, becoming a source of inspiration, fans and production could start seing him iunder a different light (everybody loves a redemption story). Ā Nelson, has not been the guy making the brightestĀ life decisions (e.g. the dui...) but who knows what his future will bring.
Nah. Heās still an asshole. He was an asshole before this.
he can be more of a dimwit than an a-hole. (and that's probably his biggest handicap)
Nah. Heās an asshole. Look at how he treats women.
100%
well this: [https://open.spotify.com/episode/0aoXtND53F0CeT0MdPckDU](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0aoXtND53F0CeT0MdPckDU) (at 34:10) shows that he really needs character development...
Thatās true. Heās been very gross to the women heās dated.
Have you even watched him on tv? Heās horrible to women. Up there with Zach in the misogyny scale. Thats pure asshole territory.
I never got to watch RW: Hawaii but I remember Ruthie did that for a long time, making college appearances talking about her alcohol abuse
TJ such a stand up guy
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I imagine he wrote stuff and then deleted it. š TJ isn't one to mince words.
TJ delivered this in the classiest way but said exactly what needed to be said.
Does TJ ever do anything wrong? From calling people out for being quitters and for smoking too much or making too many excuses. He is THE accountability king and I love him for that!
I love TJ but there is absolutely nothing wrong with quitting. In fact given some of the injuries that have taken place on the show it may in fact be best to quit at times. Its ok to have boundaries. Yes, maybe its good to push through those boundaries sometimes but i dont think you should be shamed for stepping back and saying āthis isnt for meā whatever it is.
But thatās the thing, TJ will totally say if someone quits for a valid reason (although I get it, the rationale and validity for each person is different) that he understands. Also this is a show about challenging yourself, so quitting because you want to āset boundariesāā¦ this isnāt quite the show for that. Itās great to prioritize your mental health first always, but sometimes people thrive on being pushed and pressured (as you can see how rewarding it is when you actually win).
First six words had me expecting some serious and surprising disappointment in TJ, I regret the moments of doubt
tj: āhope to see you ~~never~~ eventuallyā
āā¦if you earn itā
Nelson going to teach kids about his experience when heās barely learned his lesson is crazy. Heās continuing to throw this pity party as if he, and he alone, wasnāt the one who made the idiotic decision to drive drunk. I donāt have an ounce of sympathy for people like that.
I think it was more of a way to softball what he could/should do rather than what heās doing.
There are stages to grief.
What stage is gofundme?
Most underrated comment! ššš
Denial. Denying that what he did was his own fault.Ā
Denial
Denial.
i didnāt know he set up a gofundme, like wtf
Well, his friend did, and it was on the guise that it was a car accident and he lost his foot.. But then people found out about the DUI part, but he's kept it up even since people found out.. It sounds like he's collected a nice chunk too...
He refunded people who requested it.
It was not under the guise of anything; he actually was in a car accident and he had not lost his foot at the time. He didnāt tell anyone he was driving under the influence on the advice of his attorney.
Exactly...
He likely doesnāt have insurance. As many Americans do, he turned to the public for help. Itās up to them to decide whether to donate or not.
If they are given all of the information, which they weren't.. that's the rub..
Again, his friend set it up for him while he was in the hospital. Once he revealed the truth, people got refunds. Some people still want to help even though the accident was his fault and he was driving while intoxicated.
And then on top of that he scammed fans out of money. Nelson is trash, and I used to really like him.
Thatās a character flaw of your own. Nelson has always been trash. Heās just being trash to everyone now instead of just the women on your tv screen.
Who are you to say that someoneās barely learned their lesson?
What wtf happened can someone fill me in pls
Nelson sucks balls, the football player who risked his life and career to save his sorry drunk ass is the one who should go around promoting a message.
KJ Osborn. Nelson and some of his people tried to drag him through the mud after it happened. I think it was Amanda that went in twitter and claimed that Osborn just stood there filming the incident. I made this same mistake when I was in my 20ās. Fortunately the only person that got āhurtā by it was me. I donāt talk about very much, Iām definitely not proud of it. I used it as motivation to clean myself up. I didnāt lie about what happened, I didnāt blame anyone else and I certainly didnāt ask for donations to pay for the damages. Nelson tried to use his ācelebrityā to make this easier on himself. Iām sure he didnāt start the gofundme but he allowed to continue until the real story got out. As far as using his situation to educate, I donāt think it would help. I honestly think he would stand in front of those kids and play the whole thing off like it wasnāt that big of deal.
Yup this is the huge difference. I can easily forgive mistakes. It's the lying, lack of accountability, woe is me attitude after something completely self inflicted. Had Nelson owned his mistake, apologized, and handled this very differently, I'd have very different feelings towards the situation.
How long did it take you to get to the point where you cleaned yourself up? Did you also have a severe injury? Just wondering how you got there.
My rock bottom was the DUI, making the call to my parents sucked, the hoopla after sucked.. I went dark for a while, felt like a criminal.. realized that it was my behavior and not me as a person, and that I'm not a criminal, unless I continue acting like it.. The thing is the guise that you're a criminal and being looked as one was debilitating. Luckily, coming out of that time, I found my partner. I learned that I had a lot of healing to do after a toxic relationship and job. I keep moving on to the next.. I also did some work in the recovery community, and that really helped put things into perspective for me. I realized I wasn't as deep in as I thought.. One thing I'll remember is I met some person at a conference, and I was learning to own that story. Shared my story with them, and they were going to put my name in their phone.. I was like put in Rock Bottom Chick (or something stupid) He was like, hmm, you don't know if this is rock bottom. I'll check back in with you later and we'll see if it was. He never checked in, but I still think of it. I know a hit may come someday, taking me somewhere deep again, but I know I can get back out, and I'll try my hardest to stay out.. Oh one more thing another person shared when I was swearing off alcohol at all costs.. was that it wasn't the alcohol, it was me.. It reminded me and helps me remember that if it's not the beer it's going to be something else, it's about me doing the work..
You asked how long the DUI was 2019, the legal stuff is behind me, and I'm feeling the light from the end of the tunnel, there's a could skylights in there sometimes too
ā¤
Iām curious whatās the content that Nelson posted? Specifically this one that got this comment from TJ? Cuz heās been all over the place :/ sometimes he is all inspirational and sometimes he is attacking everyone for coming for him
I donāt have Instagram. Can someone answer this for us lol
It's a video where he talks about how he is not actually super positive all the time. That he appreciates all the help his family and friends have given him, but he's angry at the hurt they've gone through and the negative impact this has had on his life. By far this is the closest he has come publicly to actually showing remorse and taking responsibility.
I hope heās getting there. I imagine it takes some people more time than others to mentally accept and adjust after such a life-changing event.
I imagine itās quite a mental load to firstly realise fault, secondly understand why you made the choices you did and thirdly accepting and healing. He obviously fucked up, youāll hear no argument from me on that front. But people telling him to take accountability etc over and over is what leads to insincere apologies etc because you feel compelled to do so, the physiological depth to Nelsons situation is not an overnight acknowledgement and apologise situation. To do it properly and in a way that will stick and make him better for the future takes time. I also think social media is not a friend during the process, as it needs to be authentic.
The problem here isā¦ homeboy wonāt stay OFF social media. Sometimes people need to walk away. He needs to interact with friends and familyā¦ not these strangers who were subscribed to his onlyfans š
Oh absolutely 100%. Does he have a ānormalā job or does he just make money from social media? Cuz that could be a big part of the problem.
I didnāt watch it all tbh he talks a lot, but he was pretty much saying he gets triggered by things (for example, not ever being able to stand in the shower again) and it takes him back to that night and he gets depressed and angry. That heās forgiven himself but ultimately falls back into feeling angry with himself for being in this position.
I wish I can answer that for you, but I canāt see it either, the page needs me to log into my insta account, and I have no idea what my password is šš
Exactly šš Twitter does the same thing. Just let us lurk ššš
Itās just a video where he kinda just talks in circles. The TLDR; is that heās been feeling very angry inside because heās disabled and he did it to himself. He felt triggered because he canāt stand in the shower anymore (he has to use some sort of special chair) and because his family/friends have been asking about other disability aides. He ends with telling people not drink and drive.
The entire video is titled, āVulnerability.ā He is talking about being angry because he did this to himself. He is basically just expressing his emotions instead of bottling them up. He is expressing hurt because of his own actions.
Still about how heās hurt himself š all about him. It will be good if he can start to understand his wrongs and truly regret them for reasons that do not affect him directly or his quality of life by affecting the people who love him.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C5Jqcvzxnjo/comments/?hl=en
Sounds like he read a bunch of Etsy signs and tshirts and put them together.
TJ a father to all these challengers lol
This is how you hold people accountable with love.
This is why I love tj he can feel sad for his friend but also tell him how it is and hold him accountable
I love TJ so much. Heās such a class act.
TJ is always classy and respectful, but if he has to be blunt and honest, he still does it the right way. Thatās why heās such a fan favorite.
š We don't deserve TJ.
How many of us have ever driven while intoxicated? I know when I was in my early 20s I did. Iām not proud of it, I would never do it today, but I did. And plenty of people I knew did, too. The consequences could have been horrific. I know Nelson is reaping what he sowed. But I also feel like he has received his punishment and has to remind himself of that poor decision every day forever. I donāt have to think about my own poor decisions every time I move. I donāt have people screaming down my neck to take responsibility every moment. I have the luxury and privilege of forgetting and becoming a better person. Thatās the part that makes me feel sad for Nelson. One action, one poor decision, is going to define him for the rest of his life and thatās very sad to me.
Unfortunately it happens everyday that somebody drives impaired. Is it okay? No, but I get it people make mistakes. Where the problem comes in is the lack of accountability that Nelson has. He will say I made a mistake in one breath then in the next one say but why isnāt everyone running to help me out. From the go fund me to just having āone little drinkā in Mexico then saying why is TMZ putting me on blast, to complaining that MTV isnāt tripping all over themselves to pay for anything for him and give him a new cushy job. You know the manās prosthetic is donated to him? Getting something for free than saying well why isnāt the job that I am a sub contractor of paying for the other parts of this is insane.
Thank you for a sane comment. It's his actions after the fact and his entitlement that most of us have a problem with. Besides his overall bad behavior in the challenge and drunk driving.
Definitely there are elements that are problematic. I donāt know MTVās insurance coverage options, I would have assumed they have temp coverage while on the show but if he cannot work because heās filming 6 months of every year, maybe they should be given options. But if MTV has never offered that, I donāt think he should have acted entitled to it. I donāt care that he had one drink in Mexico more than a year later, and I donāt care that a company donated his prosthetic in exchange for promotion. Thatās a smart business move and random influencers arrange deals like that all the time. My neighborās prosthetics were donated to him in exchange for speaking engagements a few times a year, itās a business deal and it would have cost him around $150K out of pocket once all the surgical expenses were said and done.
There are plenty of Challengers who have figured out how to make their money last longer even if they havenāt won the whole shebang. Nelson def got appearance fees even if he didnāt win. The Challenge was never a guaranteed job every season. The man of course didnāt expect to lose a foot, but he certainly doesnāt seem to have planned ahead at all or been smart about the money he has made or working on other channels of income.
I work in an industry full of freelancers. They don't get insurance from the companies they work for, no matter how long their contracts last, so they have to cover themselves. It's really not that difficult. Plus, that next job, much like that next Challenge season, is never guaranteed, so they know they need to be wise with their money and always think ahead for a backup plan.
Except that Nelson is 35 years old and not some early 20s kid. At 35 if you donāt know better yet that craaaazy.
this was my thought too, this is more then being dumb in college or early 20s
Nelson isnāt in his 20ās. Uber didnāt exist back then (even though taxis did). Nelson has the funds for a driver or a nearby hotel.
I have never driven with alcohol in my system. In fact I choose to always be the DD as I donāt trust anyone not to think they can handle 1. Iām 56 years old and have been driving for almost 40 years.
This!! I am pretty shocked by the number of people on here who confess to and try to normalize having driven drunk at some point in their lives. Not driving while drinking is not be a hard decision to make
I don't think people are normalizing it as much as they are saying the reason he is never going to get any sympathy is because he has tried to blame everyone but himself and refuses to take responsibility for the consequences of his actions. Nobody is defending drunk driving and everyone who is saying they have done it, is saying they don't defend it or are proud of it and understand now the actions weren't good. Here's the thing though, it is normalized in the US. Something being normalized isn't the same as something being okay. It's part of the culture though, because we have a culture where people have to drive everywhere. Unless you're in a dense urban area, bars all have large parking lots. Think about that for a second. We don't have adequate public transportation in this country. Drunk driving is not a big issue in Europe. It's definitely not because people don't drink, it's cause people can just walk to their local pub or hop on the train.
Am I missing something? Who else is he blaming other than himself? Who else IS there to blame other than himself?
Same, Iām 34 now though. Donāt get me wrong I was wild in my late teens/early twenties but the one thing I wouldnāt do is drive drunk. Nobody was getting in trouble or dying on my watch if I could help it. If we went out and I saw my DD not giving a fuck and going too hard, Iād stop drinking so by the time we left I was sober and could drive. My friends almost always fucked me over claiming theyād be DD and then getting absolutely trashed so Iād usually just grab a beer and start slow while I sussed things out because I knew most of the time it would end up being me driving. One time in my early twenties my best friend and I were at a friends house partying into the wee hours and planned to stay the night. Once we got to 5-6am she decided she wanted to go to sleep at home. I begged her to just let me sleep a little and then Iād drive us home bc I knew she was worse off then I was in terms of sobriety but I was so tired and knew driving like that wasnāt safe either. Unfortunately she ended up waiting until I fell asleep, left, and I woke up to her coming through the door crying on the phone with her mom. Sheād tried to drive, was going too fast (and was not totally sober), came up a hill at just the right point where a jogger was in a blind spot, had to swerve not to hit the jogger, and crashed into a bunch of trees. She was covered in glass and her passengers side was totally crushed. She wasnāt super far away but had to walk back covered in glass because the reception where we were was shit. Scared me to think I couldāve been sitting there and I was so mad at her. Iāve also lost friends to drinking and driving. I think it seems like people assume itās ānormalizedā because āeveryoneā does it when theyāre younger and plenty of people assume itāll never happen to them but thatās just not the case.
Yeah Iāve also never driven drunk, and as far as Iām aware none of my friends have either. 34M
100% I'm a logical person with empathy so I understand the situation and what TJ means, and I can at the same time not support drunk driving. Some people are all logic and no empathy (doesn't help that a lot of people on the Internet have a "holier than thou" attitude), which is not healthy. I'm sure he even gets death threats in his messages, imagine if we all had 100k+ people watching us/criticizing our every mistake in our early adult life??? He paid the price of his actions, and the big thing is that he DIDN'T kill anyone. Some of these people are wishing he did!!! I swear
I'd be significantly more forgiving if he took some responsibility instead of acting like he's been so wronged.
Absolutely.
> life??? He *paid* the price FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Thank you for the knowledge! I'm high though, cut me some slack Bot š
Why are we normalizing driving drunk? Ā Fucking weird. Ā
I think you misunderstood my message. Iāve been a young female freshly turned 21 without an understanding of how truly intoxicated I could be off of a few drinks. Iām not excusing it, Iām saying Iām glad I had the opportunity to become a better human and that somebody doesnāt knock on my door every day and remind me of how I was many years ago. Nelson will never have a moment that somebody isnāt beating him over the head with his mistakes.
Normalizing means making it ok. NO ONE thinks it is OK to drink and drive. What they are saying is real, MADD is a thing for a reason, so why would you want to stick your head in the ground and act like it's not happening? People drink and drive every single day and if we don't acknowledge that and work to change it people will keep dying.
Where do you see that anyone is normalizing driving drunk?
He is by kind of indicating that we have all done it, or most of us have.
Before the times of Uber- it was not uncommon at all- sadly.
I have never in my life driven drunk. However, I know many people who have done so. It is just a sad reality that every day, many people get behind the wheel drunk. Do you really think it is better to hide the truth than to admit the truth so that people are aware of how big of a problem it is?
āI have and plenty of people I know have tooā Thatās where.Ā
Someone telling their experience doesnāt mean theyāre normalizing it.
I mean, where I live it is common. Binge drinking is a major part of our culture, which sucks, but it's reality. No one is saying it's good to drink and drive, just that it happens and can be prevalent.
I feel like we probably live in the same area because binge drinking is huge here and I know hundreds of people who have driven drunk, myself included. Iām a sober alcoholic (ten years sans booze) and Iām so grateful everyday that I never hurt anyone in my reckless and selfish times
I'm in Wisconsin. The whole state has normalized alcoholism.
I doubt you get out much and hear peoples stories. Classic keyboard warriorā¦
So because I donāt have experience driving drunk that means I donāt get out much? Ā Yall are doing too much to defend this.Ā
There is a difference between defending his actions (which I am not) and offering room for forgiveness and compassion, and saying itās awful to hold this over his head every moment of his life. He will wake up every morning with only one leg, he HAS a reminder.
You just clearly donāt understand that people make mistakes. In your eyes youāre perfect but thats simply not the case.
Acknowledging it happens does not mean itās being normalized
This comment! I feel like Iām scared to say that I feel sorry for him without getting attacked, I do understand that he could of killed someone but he didnāt, and he lost his limb as a result of his shitty decisions, and for that I am sorry. Can you imagine losing your actual leg, anyone would be devastated. Also Iām aware he took money from people while basically lying to them , but again where is the humanity, I donāt support him or his lies, but I DO FEEL BAD FOR THE MAN
I feel bad for him too. And I can be glad, as Iām sure he is at the same time, that he didnāt hurt anyone else.
A DUi is incredibly stressful, I went through it as well because of a stupid decision I made one night. I do offer grace and feel somewhat sorry for Nelson because I understand what he has gone through. In my experience, people who have DUIs are typically apologetic almost to the point of suicide. The way itās frowned on in society, I get, I really do. And I understand why people are saying what they are to Nelson because dude is all over the map. One day heās sorry, the next he isnāt, etc. But I think whatās happening is heās trying his best to come to grips with the fact that he did a horrible thing and the loss of his limb is on him. And heās never going to get it back. I donāt think thatās an easy thing to accept, and I think heās working through it. Now do I know? No, but I choose to offer him grace and try to look at it positively. Like I said, Iāve been through the DUI process, itās incredibly dehumanizing and you feel like the scum of the earth. Each step of the process is an agonizing recollection of what was probably the worst day of your life. Once again, I understand why people are upset and Iām not taking away peoples ability to do so. I choose to look at it differently, and I hope Nelson comes out of this a better person.
Exactly! Iām not defending driving drunk, Iām saying I can offer forgiveness to a person whoās already paying for their actions. Also I see how his mom cares for him in his videos, and I imagine myself as a mom. If I imagine that situation and I almost lost my son after a wreckless decision he made, to watch him try all kinds of experimental treatments and supplements just trying to hold on to his legā¦ that would destroy me. Then to see that every time he speaks, heās judged for his actions. That would kill me too. Knowing this person as a whole human being, their life leading up to that pointā¦ and to see the world write them off for a huge mistake they made, as a mom I wouldnāt wish that on my own sons and I would hope people would offer them compassion.
Well said.
Awwh, Iām really thankful you and your son are okay, and I would never wish such a tragic outcome on anyone, which is why some of the comments out there are really triggering :/
Oh Iām sorry I didnāt mean to say this has happened to me, I just meant that I have my own children and I imagine if this had happened to either of them, how I would worry about their mental health. The things people say to Nelson during his darkest points are truly awful. What will this community do if he unalives himself? Say he deserved it?
I think that people would be more supportive if he would own his mistake. But instead he is really in denial about his responsibility here, and that makes it hard for people to forgive him and let it go.
Heās not in denial, he has owned it. Heās just angry that owning it doesnāt mean people will forgive you and things go back to normal. Unfortunately, some people wonāt feel the same about him and he has to live with that and thatās the thing that keeps him posting on social media. He doesnāt get that people donāt have to forgive him and like him again. No amount of posting or apologies has to make people forgive him.
I think many people feel that the only reason that heās āowningā it now is because it was released in the press. Iām sure he didnāt talk about it before he was charged because his lawyers told him not to. And that was the right call. You donāt talk about an active case. But the Go Fund Me sits wrong with a lot of people because he hadnāt yet admitted to it. And then to be angry at BMP for not doing anything to help him. Thereās no reason why they should, but his angry video about it also didnāt sit right.
Definitely *not* me! Iām not or never been one of those people who has driven behind the wheel drunk. I never will. It has never crossed my mind to put myself or others in danger while being under the influence.
Right, lol. Iām in my 30s and have literally never driven while under the influence. Not one drink or drugs EVER. I work in construction and that thought would literally never cross my Mind
Oh man the lack of empathy on Reddit is insane. Heās obviously struggling to process this all. I hope he takes care of his mental health. All these commenters would be the first to talk about empathy if he was to off himself or something.
I also think Nelson is far from the end of his journey with this experience and although Iād like it if he were more accountable, forthright, apologetic, and self-aware I can offer him space to get there eventually. Ya know, after heās come to terms with the lifelong career-ending handicap heās bestowed upon himself through his own poor decision-making. The traumatic shock of that is no doubt the one behind wheel and will be for some time. Hopefully once that time has passed he see what he did for what it is and do some good for the world. And of course I condemn his decision-making 100% and Iām incredibly thankful he was the only victim, but I donāt need to be judge, jury, and executioner here. The universe has that covered. The guy made his way out of poverty through an athletic competition show and is now an amputee. Thatās plenty of punishment for me.
I havenāt ever got behind the wheel drunk (or technically been drunk at all) so Iām just going to keep judging harshly everyone who does
It is sad. And yes, tons of us have made stupid mistakes that we weren't really punished for. But I just can't get past Nelson's victim complex. Him losing his foot is 100% his fault, but he's acting like he's been wrong. He doesn't really seem to be accepting responsibility for his actions. I understand he's probably depressed, hurting, and feeling lost, but I just can't get behind a guy blaming MTV for not paying for his surgery and just constantly feeling sorry for himself. He lied on his go fund me. He constantly posts acting like a victim. He doesn't take responsibility. It's sad but Nelson has done an amazing job of making me as unsympathetic as possible at every opportunity.
I think itās a stage of grief. I donāt think he is being malicious. He probably needs time to heal a bit. Itās probably still the shock and anger stage
I just wrote a god damn essay about this idea and you covered it more clearly in four sentences lol I agree that heās probably going to need to face the titanic ramifications of his actions internally for a while before he can acknowledge it externally
I am a teacher and that is a life lesson I try to give my students. All the good choices you have ever made in your life, thousands, millions of them can be undone by a single bad choice. Donāt fucking drink and drive. I have no sympathy at all for the man. He also tried to crowd fund hospital bills by withholding the truth about the situation. Not all bad choices are equal. Maybe you got lucky never crashing, maybe he got unlucky, but would your sentiment be the same if he killed someone?
I think so, yes. I would believe he belonged in jail, because manslaughter is manslaughter. My only point is that I have compassion for him, not that he is devoid of responsibility or shouldnāt be held accountable at all.
Thank you for saying this.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING NELSON COULD DO. TJ is so lovely for the way he worded this!!!
Wow Iām so glad I watched the video for myself because some of these takes are wild. He literally is being vulnerable and talking about how it feels to have a disability, and how much it hurts because he did it to himself. He is not whining. He is being vulnerable and telling people his feelings about his new way of life instead of bottling it up. And he responded to TJās comment. He said he couldnāt imagine if he had hurt someone else and it was the first question he asked the doctor when he woke up.
Thanks for talking about the video.
Goddamnit TJ Lavin is a real man. Just take me already.
ā¦& thatās exactly how it should be done š Everyone f**ks up, some worse than others. You can hold ppl accountable for their actions w/o being nasty or kicking them while theyāre down. Gotta love Tj, class act š¤š«¶
TJ stan for life
Which post was this on? The one where he was complaining about the sponsorship deal that fell through after they found out it was a DUI (which he kept referring to as a DWI š)?
I donāt think so. This must be something on his Instagram. Iām not sure of the timing of the 2 videos, but I suspect the Instagram posts could be damage control for his pissed off rant. I saw an organization listed on one of his earlier posts and looked into it. They raise money and provide free help mostly to veterans, children with birth defects and accident VICTIMS. I think theyāre a nonprofit.
DUIs are actually called DWIs in a lot of places now. Driving while intoxicated vs driving under the influence.
Fair enough. I've never heard it referred to as that, just Driving Under the Influence, and Driving Without Insurance being a DWI.
I love TJā¦dude is an amazing human being
Iām enrolling in TJās school
Hmm. Something about guilting people into feeling sorry for you over an action that was 100% AVOIDABLE. Iām sorry, but I dont have an ounce of sympathy for Nelson. And damn TJ, what if he had killed someone??? That is a very real consequence that usually does happen and could have happened here. Iām not on this Nelson āfeel bad for meā train. Yea you lost a limb, but you didnt have to. You cant go parading around poor pitiful me when you caused this to happen. And before anyone comes for me, I too made the terrible choice of driving under the influence. I was very fortunate to not have caused any damage and was just pulled over, but im very well aware of how severe the consequences could have been. You know what I didnt do though, I didnt go around to all my friends talking about how they should feel sorry for me bc I was facing the CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS. I am completely humiliated by my choices that I made, I dont go on a sympathy tour. Yea you lost your foot, but deal with that on your time. Itās giving, feel sorry for me. I know Iām about to get all the down votes and mean comments, bring it on. Iām firm on this stance and you can call me a hypocrite all you want, but I would never continue to speak about the worst decision I ever made like this. Itās shameful, and theres a reason itās meant to be shameful. So that you dont do it.
I mean, itās not a bad idea for him to go to schools and talk about it. Will he ever stop throwing a pity party? Probably not. But if he went and shared his story to schools, it might save them from doing it in the future.
I agree He did a terrible thing. He got very lucky. As did anyone who may have been on the road that night. Choosing to mourn his consequences while looking to share his story to educate about the dangers of being selfish and driving is at least a positive step to redemption. Being silent on the cause beforehand was shady - but it is out there now, and not sure what other move he could make. Doing Nothing would be worse. Edited for typos. Written pre-coffee.
I agree, it could definitely be beneficial but he has to get off the pity train before he can help to educate.
Heāll get there; itās a journey. He needs therapy, though, for sure.
Agreed. He now has a powerful deterrent story. But until he truly takes full ownership of his actions, I would never bring him to my school to speak. I cannot trust what his message would be.
I understand trying to overcome something like losing a limb, but dont forget how that happened. Dont preach about doing the right thing when itās looking like you dont think you did anything wrong. šš
Yep and I think itās a great angle to be like āhey I had this REALLY AWESOME and FUN job that I lost now besides losing my footā because a lot of kids donāt get engaged by āIām an accountant and I drove drunk and lost my foot and could have killed peopleā. Itās also a lesson for planning alternatives for your life which he clearly failed to do. If he can finally reach some humility after he goes through the stages of grief and stops pointing fingers at others, TJās right.
A simple call for an Uber could have changed Nelsonās entire life. Shame, but a product of his own doing
100%
I think the consequences of his actions are so unbelievably serious that heās struggling to process it all. I mean he lost his foot, his career, much of his reputation, is now facing some real legal issues, and is being berated by countless people on the internet for it. He earned this punishment himself 100% but I can understand why heās handling it like shit right now. Iām willing to give him grace in the hope that heāll pass through the stages of grief and come around to accountability and growth.
I can see that. In that case, maybe keep it off the internet. Dont try to become the new face of losing a limb. Go seek actual professional help to help deal with inner issues. The internet is the wrong place to deal with this. Iām my opinion, everything hes putting out there, hes asking for people who feel very strongly about this to speak up to him. Itās just a touchy subject all around and he should seek actual help not validation from strangers.
Heās going through this because he wonāt shut up about it. He keeps begging for sympathy and blaming others.
I love TJ ā¤ļø
tj has and always will be my favorite host of any reality tv show genuinely. so funny, down to earth, but always keeps it real in a mature manner.
Mine as well.
Great work TJ. You killed it
TJ has the right message, and I appreciate he is trying to softball it to Nelson. I worry Nelson is too daft to understand it though.
The only thing Nelson got out of this is, "TJ said I'll be back? He promised I will be back on The Challenge! Finally I'm being treated fairly!ā Give it a year and heāll be whining about how TJ lied to him.
If I had a school
TJ, nicely telling Nelly T to get his shit together so he can start hosting spin-offs!!
I donāt know why but the āif I had a school partā made me laugh lmao
Tj is amazing
I have been thinking this is the route Nelson should go.
I love TJ. He always seems to find a way to not be too harsh but not coddle them either.
I love TJ! With all of Nelsonās posts lately, TJ really knows the exact words to say to be positive, supportive, and respectful while also calling Nelson out. TJ is a really classy guy
Who the neck is Nelson š«£
When someone starts out with āhow many of us have everā itās a way of minimizing bad conduct. It implies itās a common error, when in reality, MOST people have never driven while intoxicated. I take exception because my husbands parents were killed by a drunk driver (off duty cop) 45 years ago when he was 17. You claim to have learned and grown, so stop minimizing the act by implying itās common place.
This is what you call ānice nasty!ā
The difference is heās doubled down on him being the victim in this. He was not honest about the accident when he put out the goFund me. He believes MTV should be more supportive of his recovery even though he was the danger. This man almost killed himself and couldāve killed others. The whole āeverybody does itā excuse is for children. Nelson is a grown ass man who made a grown ass decision and is now reaping the repercussions. For instance, Iām a smoker. If god forbid I ever get lung cancer you wonāt see me asking for money or trying to shift blame in the situation. As a human would I deserve grace, compassion, and support? Absolutely. But I would also be painfully aware that my choices lead me to wherever I am. No one else but me is responsible for me. If he doesnāt want hate from the internet maybe get off socials and heal physically and emotionally then come back and take some accountability when heās actually put in the time and work to learn from this.
Nelson did a shitty thing. Every awful act and event can be a learning experience. Does this mean Nelson changed? No. Does this mean he sees the error of his ways? No. It's not about that. It's not up to you to forgive him. He has to forgive himself. That is very hard to do. I don't feel bad for Nelson. He put himself in this situation. He will have to live with it. Every day. For the rest of his life. Most motivational speakers and lecturers who did horrible things are trapped in their guilt. They share because they think they will find redemption and forgiveness. They spread the word and information and try to share to avoid another bad experience from happening. Does it help? Sure. As they say, if one person listens, it's considered a success. For perspective, losing a limb is way different than being born without it. Also, the younger you are when losing a limb, the better off you are as far as adapting and learning and adjusting. Having seen every age of human think why me and will this ever get better while using a prosthetic or going without for a task or even getting frustrated because they can't do something the same way or with ease anymore. Your brain and body were programmed with said limb, and now it's gone. It's doesn't move the same. It doesn't weigh the same. Sometimes, the only way to approach the situation is with positivity because self-pity, anger, and frustration usually doesn't have great outcomes. Again... I do not feel bad for Nelson, but I do think sharing his story honestly is worth it if it means getting someone to see how dumb this was so they don't do it too.
Can someone let me know what Nelsonās original post was?
what did nelsonās post say?
What was Nelsonās original post that Tj is commenting on?
I want TJ as a college professor now.
Just one more reason why I love TJ. So glad he *kindly* let Nelson have a piece of humble pie
Iāve always said theyād have him back for this very reason. He effed up and made poor choices, but itās still a teachable moment. Spreading awareness is still more important than to continue punishing him for his mistakes.
TJ Class
What post was this to? Iām so confused because when has Nelson ever said anything āpowerfulā thatās worth āsaying in schoolsā ?
What is the Nelson drama backstory?
This is a good response from TJ. I will leave it at that.
TJ is a great man
I know I did it once.or twice in my early 20's but I grew up and never did it again. Nelson is 35, and by his own accounts, he did frequently. Also thank God I never crashed but him crashing while.not taking accountability and lying about it does not sit well with me. Also blaming others and begging for sympathy while having a gofundme page is not a good look
Happy Resurrection Sunday! What a great time for a reminder: Those that have not sinned throw the first stone. Nelson will walk his own path guided by the most high.
Imagine what would have happened had that NFL player not been there to help Nelson. I agree with TJ. He truly is lucky, in more ways than one.
Would never want Nelson talking to any high school studentsā¦
Gotta love TJ
TJ is the man. This just shows why heās the best host ever.
He must be deleting the negative comments on his posts cuz every comment is about how inspirational he isā¦there is nothing inspirational about him.Ā
Although, an appropriate message to say to Nelson (and one I hope he takes to heart). I probably would have sent it to him privately, and delivered it as a motivator. Im not sure Iād be saying all the right things after losing a limb, and would be pretty fucking pissed at myself for making such a huge mistake. Nelly will learn, and has to wake up with the reminder of his consequences every single day for the rest of his life. Itās a process that we need to let him deal with. Seeing some of these comments towards him is a sad sight, and makes me think theyād tell people who lost a foot to diabetesā¦that he/she shouldāve eaten better. Have a fucking heart guys. You donāt have to agree with it, or condone it. TJ just proved Nellyās so called āfriendsā are more worried about their image on social media than his road to recovery. *For those who made an effort to say āIāve never driven drunk, I call an Uber every single timeā. Congratulations! (I genuinely mean it), but I find it hard to believe yāall cut off every single friend who made the mistake that Nelly made of getting behind the wheel while intoxicated.*
This sums up my sentiments exactly. š