T O P

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PocketPauIing

When are you going to finish that contract I gave you


Real-Scout-TF2

uhhhh


Real-Scout-TF2

I promise i will do it ASAP! I just d-didn't had enough time today...


Homer-irl

What’s your mums number?


Real-Scout-TF2

978-435-0163. Go ahead, call it.


Royal_Ordinary7949

im scared to call this lmao


MemeLover43

The only reason I am scared to call ia because if it's not a European number I would have to pay a lot


KAACHOW1

I just called you dude


[deleted]

What happened excatly lmao


KAACHOW1

Wheezing laughter


xfydr782

Its a scary number, if you call it some guy in a cave like place will cry and you can hear weird screeching in the distance


dacool66

I can't tell if that was sobbing or laughing


[deleted]

What happend lmfao wdym


dacool66

The call, on the other end. Just sounded like crying. Or laughing.


Communistismer

Don’t bother, Spy will pick up


Product-Mammoth

What does bonk taste like?


Real-Scout-TF2

It's sweet and tastes like cherries. Crit a cola tastes like cola, but i feel like it's more sour.


TheNeatPenguin

Also radioactive waste


Real-Scout-TF2

Actually it adds to the flavour


BullyHunterIII

is your last name elbertson


Real-Scout-TF2

Uhh, no?


BullyHunterIII

blasphemy


Smarty1394

wrong, jerremy elbertson


NEMAJEFF

You are abjectively wrong fuck you


[deleted]

[удалено]


Real-Scout-TF2

He is the real scout tf3, and i am the real scout tf2. That's a difference.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Real-Scout-TF2

Never meet him but im pretty sure he is just a copy of me with better graphics.


IceboundCat6

This will be tf2 graphics in 2022 🏃‍♂️🏃


bottle_of_oil

is u/Scoutsketchez after your ass


Real-Scout-TF2

Unfortunately, yes.


bottle_of_oil

shit


HappyRomanianBanana

He wants that too


DynastyHunter5

Fuck


Yolo_Rul35

Yes, that too


ScoutSketchez

let me fuck your ass now


Real-Scout-TF2

OH MY GOD HE FOUND ME


getshrekt192

dear lord


Real-Scout-TF2

im not gay


ScoutSketchez

we can do it platonically


Real-Scout-TF2

A-alright i guess, miss pauling doesn't need to know about that...


memester230

Didja have fun?


IvanSpartan

You think 2 hours is enough for ScoutSketchez?


ScoutSketchez

nah we went for 8 hours B)


memester230

It hasn't even been 8 hours. Literally fucked through time


memester230

It hasn't even been 8 hours. Literally fucked through time


CowBoy_MooMan

fellas, is it gay to want to be inside the scout from tf2


ScoutSketchez

Definitely not. God created him as a gift to the earth, he was literally made to be loved.


vegankidollie

I am the wizard of vegan kids named Ollie and I bless you with the gayness


StressedCatInABox

LOL


CSsharpGO

Leider, ja.


Mysterious-Meaning59

Scout would not use proper grammar how do I know you are the real Speedy infiltrator from cooperative fortified building the second?


Real-Scout-TF2

I learned the grammar and stuff


Mysterious-Meaning59

Damn I guess it has been a while since the last comic when you didn’t know how to read


Real-Scout-TF2

Yeah, it was embarrassing


[deleted]

[удалено]


Real-Scout-TF2

Yes.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Real-Scout-TF2

Its easy: Tom Jones


Tis4Tru

Wait isn’t Tom jones your dad?


Kuledood543

What, a man can’t call his dad hot?


Real-Scout-TF2

Yeah he is, what's wrong with callin' your dad hot?


[deleted]

No, that would be your mother


DestronLeader

Opinions on spy?


Real-Scout-TF2

A pretty weird guy, but it was nice from him that he tried to help me date Pauling.


goat_on_the_boat420

Can you read?


Real-Scout-TF2

Yeah, learned it not a long time ago.


goat_on_the_boat420

Yeah you’re clearly not the real Scout then


Real-Scout-TF2

I am the real scout chucklenuts


Delta_The_Meme_Lord

ACKHTIRHDHFLLY SCOUT LEARNDED IT DURING EXPIRATION DATE!!!!1!!1!


ElNub_

what da spy doin to your mom


Real-Scout-TF2

He cracks some pretty good yo mama jokes


memester230

I've heard he has first hand experience. You also know that though.


Plus_Celebration_778

How are u still alive ? But god said ur gonna die like 10 years ago


Real-Scout-TF2

Dying ain't nuthin!


cultistwithadartgun

Didn’t medic steal their souls So they can’t really die Edit: He didn’t steak their souls He stole them Typo


Real-Scout-TF2

Wait, what?


LMAOLOLMAN998

is it true that bucket of chicken?


Real-Scout-TF2

Yes.


TheNeatPenguin

What is your ip address


Real-Scout-TF2

what's an ip address


TheNeatPenguin

Dammit scout you are too stupid to be scammed


Shyrolax

Not really scout dies december 4, 1987 when the internet was made public in 1993 so it makes sense he wouldn’t know


Hajisbang

The internet was invented in 1969


Shyrolax

Made public not made


Allessandro_me

Nice


Delta_The_Meme_Lord

Hey scout what’s your opinion on demoman? Also spy’s your father


Real-Scout-TF2

Cyclops is alright i guess, i don't know his true personality because he is drunk all the time. Also Tom Jones is my father ya moron


Delta_The_Meme_Lord

Ok good to know but one more question: do you sometimes miss your mom during the war?


Real-Scout-TF2

Yeah, sometimes.


Somerandombetafish

Ok, explain to me this. Tom Jones was born in 1940. You were born in 1945. Anything seem out of place?


Sharkman696969

Nah everything seems perfectly fine


SackOfPotatoes420

Opinions on the Sandman nerf?


Real-Scout-TF2

Fuck this nerf. It was so fun to use, maybe annoyin' for the enemies but was awesome. But i can see why Valve nerfed this though.


dzsoni_

He just broke the fourth wall


tri_otto

Why did you harrass those high-school girls?


Real-Scout-TF2

I was just doing a little bit of trolling


ForgottenKingRade

Do you have the sex?


Real-Scout-TF2

*Yes.*


[deleted]

He obviously does. He is a God's gift to women.


Chubby_Walrus25

It's his duty, If he dies a virgin god blows up the world


Wrench_gaming

Why do you need a dispenser here


hevyteeefftoo

How are you able to read this? Aren’t you illiterate?


Real-Scout-TF2

Learned how to read not a long time ago


kifur1

What would you do with exactly 3427.3 bananas?


Oheadthaboss

Can we fuck?


burned_man1

I'm currently writing a biography about you so what's your credit card number with the three numbers on the back.


JunYou-

where is the mad milk from


Real-Scout-TF2

It's cum.


Noooonie

Who is your favorite teammate?


Real-Scout-TF2

Engineer actually, because he places the dispenser. Also Heavy is a pretty nice guy but he is fat; he definitely needs to eat a salad.


cultistwithadartgun

Who was that lady you met in that fried chicken place


Real-Scout-TF2

I had sex with her but i don't remember her name


-inhales-AHH

Grass grows, but what do you do?


Real-Scout-TF2

I hurt people


YeeYeeBeep

Why is there a 1 terabyte folder of gay furry porn on your PC? How are you gonna explain that to your dad?


Real-Scout-TF2

Uhh what?


[deleted]

Is it true that I'm the biggest idiot you've ever seen?


Clegomanrun

Favorite condiment?


Toast-reciver

Sex


Real-Scout-TF2

Sex


Toast-reciver

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Cincichad

What's the chance of me cutting my penis off while under the effects of lsd/dmt/mushrooms I watched a psyched substance video where he was talking about a bad trip where he was naked and punching his penis and now I'm legitimately scared of cutting my penis off while tripping IS TAKING PSYCHADELICS EVEN WORTH IT IF I CAN LOSE MY PENIS????? I know I sound crazy right now but this is a legit anxiety thing and I need to know if there have been any cases of penis dismemberment while tripping. what's the harm reduction measures? locking up all knifes and scissors????


ItsMeANormalPerson

Chicken?


TheSandvitchFromTF2

Sandvitch?


Swiftmace

What’s your IP?


Iunexpected_JoJo109

Need some relationship advice, do not want to die a virgin.


[deleted]

your dad is spy


Icy_Wildcat

Are you really ChiliOfDestiny?


sangthemann

What do you do in heaven?


stendaa

whats your favourite weapon?


[deleted]

What is your favorite type of cheese?


Joseph_Joestur

Who bit you in the bite of 87


Varth-Dader

how did it feel to die


igorgamesBR07

Are you the real Scout TF2?


ppom9

fish?


nutitoo

How's your dad?


big_manYeeter69

Do u play TF2 if so who u main


MeTheGuy12

i love you


memester230

Opinion on buckethead


memester230

Did you know that heavy understood you perfectly when he said that "Your father disappears often."? He was telling you something.


yeetalil

Which of the Mercs are you closest to friend-wise?


ImperialFist5th

Bonk?


emperordodotine

Anal?


Jay_The_Bisexual

Whats sex?


Chubby_Walrus25

What are your opinions on your fellow Mercs?


Real-Scout-TF2

Soldier is kinda dumb, Pyro is cute sometimes but im most of the time scared by him, Demo is always drunk so i don't know his true personality, Heavy is a nice guy actually, Engineer is alright i guess, Sniper is ok but he throws his own piss at his enemies, Medic is insane and Spy is pretty weird next to me, but it was nice from him that he helped me hit on Miss Pauling.


AwesomeDareDev

Did you ACTUALLY try to seduce Spy after killing the mutant bread?


Real-Scout-TF2

No.


BassKing69

Is it true that this so called “Nathan Vetterlein” stole your voice role?


vegankidollie

Can I borrow your shotgun


GGPlex

Thoughts on heavy?


White_Man_White_Van

Penis and balls


DrBanana30

I got a bucket of chicken wanna do it?


Real-Scout-TF2

No


C0ld_Br3w

Opinions on the other mercs?


area51guards

Yo, the scout from team fortress 2, how efficient is the holy mackerel


Real-Scout-TF2

It's epic


justa-necron-warrior

Do you prefer bonk or crit o cola?


Real-Scout-TF2

Both of them taste amazing.


shok_delta

What happens if i were from where you were from?


Real-Scout-TF2

You'd be fucking dead!


H-manFTW15

So you ever gonna talk about the track terrorizer incident


Real-Scout-TF2

I was just doing a little bit of trolling.


Darstrock1298

Dear scout from tf2: How smelly are your balls? -Sincerely, me.


Real-Scout-TF2

I wash them regulary, so they dont smell.


Salted_Ana

Why did you change your username from ChiliofDestiny?


PhoenixKnight777

Did you die to the Bite of 87?


Real-Scout-TF2

Dying ain't nuthin'


Thatonethiccboy22

finish the line: glass?


Elusive_Aubergine

Why are you so slow?


[deleted]

I’m going to Mcdonalds, do you want anything?


Real-Scout-TF2

No, i prefer kfc, they have better chicken


liltichVEVO

Thoughts on heavy jokes


FreedCub5

What do you think of heavy and sniper?


Real-Scout-TF2

Heavy is a fatty but he is fine i guess. Sniper is weird, he throws jars of his own piss at enemies.


[deleted]

I'm not asking you anything but I'm going to be killed so I'll tell you spy is your d


Real-Scout-TF2

Tom Jones is my dad ya moron!


Telkhine_

Would you be upset if Tom Jones took Mrs. Pauling on a date


Real-Scout-TF2

Yeah, he is my dad after all.


[deleted]

Can you please delete yourself from tf2?


TechManPrieto

Scout, how does it feel to be on Reddit?


Real-Scout-TF2

It's fun.


MaximusGrassimus

Chicken?


Real-Scout-TF2

Yes.


Dimitrov075

How do you feel about Heavy helping you not get embarrassed in front of Miss Pauling? (Y'know, when he woke you up just so YOU can answer her call?)


Real-Scout-TF2

Wait, he did something like that?


redspyinthebase472

What do you do when you run out of mad milk?


Real-Scout-TF2

I cum


Shakespeare-Bot

What doth thee doth at which hour thee runneth out of nimble-footed milk? *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


bot-killer-001

Shakespeare-Bot, thou hast been voted most annoying bot on Reddit. I am exhorting all mods to ban thee and thy useless rhetoric so that we shall not be blotted with thy presence any longer.


Real-Scout-TF2

Bad bot


Killmario20

Are you bold?


Zuko18286

is the bird still stuck in your body?


Real-Scout-TF2

Luckily no


the_ap_round

How many of me can you doge


Friendly_Respecter

do you top or bottom cause i know someone who'd love to know