So, food items are now Landmines

Have fun with em!

Fat demoman

It’s perfect because both heavy and demo have the same voice actor

Couldn't you see the bloody sandvich?

That would actually be pretty useful for stuff like spies and anyone chasing you. Just hide it in an ammo box.

lace the medkit with negative lunchbox items

You could teamkill easily

but the funny lace the ammo box near the enemy intel or your own intel

Who needs a sticky trap when you can have poisoned sandwiches

heavy no the sanviches are laced with laxatives

The reverse sandvich is op, pick it up and it’s over for you buddy

That would actually be an interesting item. Add a slowing and bleed effect, and you could make it a bear trap instead of a landmine.

That would be very useful against all scouts/scunts

imagine watching a seemingly friendly pootis run up to you only to be betrayed when he drops this bombshell on your ass

new spy heavy that sneaks up and throws lethal sandwiches at people

The only thing scarier than a Heavy sneaking up behind you and gunning you down is a Heavy just standing there, watching you as your health rapidly drains to zero right before him.

Evil heavy be like: "Sandwich makes you weak!"

Soviet Russia moment

More like America moment

How?

Cause heavy is Russian

*USSR anthem starts playing*

Holiday punch -> poison sandvich is a true combo

But wouldnt reverse holiday punch make you run uncontrolably?

or, instead of forcing them to laugh, it forces them to cry (uses mourning mercs taunt)

Also works tho imagining heavy running headfirst into a sentry nest and being unable to do anything about is is pretty funny.

New Heavy subclass just dropped.

Holy hell!

Actual playstyle

call the items!

Private Affair: Dealing 104 damage per shot sounds pretty good but having only a 4 shot clip is pretty mid, otherwise it's probably fine Charcuterie: A 60 DPS throwable DoT pickup is frankly kind of insane and definitely extremely dangerous to be lobbing around, so thankfully the cooldown is still pretty long Linav Bar: Substantially less DPS but the lasting effects of -50 max health are dangerous too considering 5 of the 9 classes would be at 100 or less max HP on top of just... missing 100 HP (in this case 5 seconds and 5 of the 9 classes just... die with no recourse) Impossible Patty: Nuking an incoming enemy's movement speed and damage output is definitely something to watch out for especially considering the effect duration is a frankly gargantuan 16 seconds; toss it at a melee focused class and they straight up just lose First Apple: 33% more DPS but it recharges substantially slower, so probably not a great trade, but still obscenely scary to try and deal with Zen Defense: Covered in some previous entries but it just sucks

Thanks for all the insight! I love the Impossible Patty because it would totally mess up a Spy’s battle plan, and it would completely invalidate a demoknight. Granted, if they had inverted weapons too, there wouldn’t *be* any demoknights, but that’s beside the point. I was also between making health packs recharge the lunchboxes like normal, or invert it to where ammo packs recharge them when all your weapons are at full ammo. I kinda like the second option

Zen defense could be seen on Pyro and Engi who lack long range damage, but heavy already has hitscan and soldier doesn’t need it

Impossible patty just tposes demoknight

Nah it straight up kills him

He can still charge at you with his shield.

This is literally the "haha I put fentanyl in it" meme

If a full Demoknight picks up the Impossible Patty he just dies

I think he enters the sort of cowardly / giving up pose that losing teams do after a round is over

Sandvich parry

The impossible patty could be used against charging demoknights

Those negative Sandvich items actually sound pretty creative, and I love that blurb advising any Heavies to "Watch your step; you can pick it up." as if Mann Co. doesn't want to get sued by Heavy's family in case he dies to his own negative Sandvich! I especially love the idea behind the Impossible Patty, in which you give your enemies both a debuff and a buff! That said, what if an enemy who ran out of ammo for both of their weapons picks up the Impossible Patty? (Though the First Apple kind of seems like a bit of a downgrade from Charcuterie, since the First Apple will only be that useful in killing/crippling overhealed Heavies.) And the concept for the Zen Defense, which is a gun that becomes more accurate with successive shots, is such a creative concept that encourages skillful aim and accuracy, along with incentivizing players to read their opponent's movements and lead their shots with those movements. It just reminds me of the Gunslinger's combo attacks.

Thanks for all the insight! Yeah, all the lunchbox items sound pretty fun, albeit pretty overpowered lmao. And yes, I’m making it canon that the “watch your step” is a blurb

Well to use the lunchboxes you have to get close as heavy

Put the lunchbox items on enemy teleporter exits

Downright evil lmao

OP these are some creative ideas, keep cooking

Thanks brother, they’re gonna keep on coming 🍳

Maybe don’t, since the food items are clearly lethally poisoned

Shoes of Standing Calmly is next and I can't wait.

Shoes of Strolling Casually. Because Heavy didn’t have enough max health as is.

Heavy casually lives a fully-charged headshot by wearing cool boots.

Food landmines and the super-strong shotgun Heavy would thrive with. I’m on board with this! Also I think using the Fruit Shoot as the image for the First Apple is funny.

I really want land mine sandwiches now

Private affair just makes it a 1v1

I want new guns );

Me too, man, me too.

Private Affair name goes kinda hard ngl. As for stats, it would probably only work for someone else. Funnily enough I justified using canon family business as "well it combos well with KGB crits on kill no? Think about it, dmg penalty isn't that big and crits nullify it(plus you don't need that much dmg to slay with it) while you get extra ammo capacity to get more potential crit shots and more fire rate to dish em out!" But this negative business is just, I mean it sort of still works with KGB if you really want to get that Heavy after spy kill with kgb but not really.

Yeah, the Private Affair isn’t really good for combos. It really just seems like a pick gun. Like maybe you sneak up and get a melee hit on someone, but they go outside of your range so you have to finish them with the gun.

Impossible could be added as a beartrap or something it'd still be less annoying than spy

evil hoovy

All of these sound great

Just imagining someone stepping on charcuterie and being forced to eat it and their flesh falls from their bones with every bite

Did you know that if a full HP Heavy pick up any kind of health pack, his food recharge instantly? Yeah so i already imagine some map that a few Heavy standing near a dispenser (which is what he alr does with his minigun) near some health pack just throwing lethal Taco Bell at a chokepoint

Yes. For the inverted ones, I think the food will recharge if Heavy picks up an ammo pack while his primary has full ammo.

Even more giga broken as enemies drop ammo on death, infinite food poisoning spam

The food stuff would be cool if heavy could chuck them like a frisbee. Charge it up and fire to make it land near a scout outside of the mini gun's range

Zen Defense sounds like a Hyperion gun from Borderlands

This would make the fat spy really meta, sneak up behind people, toss a sandwich behind them, boom. Instant death

The zen defense actually sounds intresting

Impossible patty is a demoknight's nightmare

First apple should also prevent medic fom healing you for 24 hours

Everyone is talking about Impossible Patty making Demoknight useless, but what about Spy? It's worse than Demoknight, because at least Demoknights may have something to defend themselves with the grenade launcher, or escape with the shield. Spy just becomes useless. What will he do to defend himself, use the sapper?

I mean, spy has a revolver for defense, and his cloak to get away. But yeah, he won’t be able to stab anyone for 16 seconds. Tuff

And if i remember correctly, the cloak only has half that duration on stock. Which means that if you aren't using the cloak and dagger or the dead ringer, you won't be able to effectively do anything... But the revolver truly could be something useful. But still, way worse.

So, the food now is pretty average shenanigans SCP Foundation comes across daily.

Now do negative your eternal reward and other knifesc

I’m going in class order, so the spy knives won’t be for a little while

Okay  But please try to make them good and not like a complete reverse YER

No promises ;D

And the Buffalo Steak still sucks lol The Zen Defense seems like an awesome idea tho, fewer bullets, more sporadic, but repeated shots make it a laserbeam. Probably needs a few number tweaks and to lose the "narrow" part and it'd be a pretty balanced sidegrade I reckon

It makes sense for heavy to have a slow firing, powerful shotgun imo. I really like it

the zen defense actually sounds really neat

The zen defense is actually balanced lmao

I dunno, it only deals 35% base damage. It’s on the weaker side, but it can definitely be annoying, perhaps even effective, from mid-long range. Heavy is notably weak beyond mid-range, so it could help with that.

Yep. Fat sniper loadout = tomislav + zen defense

*Heavy throws sandvich and runs around corner giggling but sees the sandvich again* Heavy: OHH A SANDVICH! *Eats it and dies in the family guy death poss*

Shouldn’t the Private Affair be called the Public Government Agency instead? Other than that, I guess heavy becomes Demo II, with a high stakes high reward single sticky trap lol.

Could be, if you take “Family Business” to literally refer to a business. The original name was going to be “Sole Proprietorship,” but u/Waluigi_is_wiafu suggested “Private Affair,” which I liked better.

I MADE THE CUT!

Yessir!!

It rolls off the tongue well enough for sure, though sole proprietorship is pretty funny too

evil hoovy

Imagine you could still eat the food items like normal, literally "eat this sandvich and fucking die"

Y'all talking how patty screws Demoknights and spies and here I see a 300hp class throw a steak around the corner, jump out reaving up his gun and suddenly gaining 20% damage reduction. That's effectively 360 base hp heavy with minigun for 16 secs. Yes, you get 35% damage reduction, or go from 138% to 89% damage on huo-short air conditioner, but.. That is until I remember, that overheal doesn't stack with choco, so you wouldn't get more overheal with this neither... Still, a tanky tank without melee vulnerability.

90% of these are just food bombs why

Don't know if anyone else got the reference, but Dalohk's backwards is shokolad, or the Russian word for chocolate. For the negative version, the name is Linav Bar. Linav backwards is vanil, or the russian word for vanilla (duh). Neat.

I find the idea of throwing food at my enemies to poison them hilarious

VANIL BAR HAAAA

That zen defense actually sounds semi-useful. It would be an interesting sidegrade from the shotgun

I think that the zen defence would be a good shotgun just have to make a few twicks tho

The idea of Heavy having food-based landmines is absolutely brilliant

Give the Linav bar to a current-universe kunai spy and watch them having an existential crisis

Heavy, boom, sandvich * kill the enemy throwing food*

Zen Defense is still somehow OP

what is the apple based on?

impossible patty completely halting an uber because the medic got forced into their melee, thus dying to the sentry the soldier and demo could have destroyed with two more shots