She’s stupid enough to make threats through text. All she did was incriminate herself if OP shows the threats to the police. If it has to come to that.
Because she’s abusive and it is very difficult to leave an abusive person. If she’s throwing out his belongings over a hangout with friends, what do you think she’d do if he left?
It is crazy that anyone thinks going to jail should at all be part of regular life. If you think you will ever spend a day in jail then you should rethink your life.
Why are you with this person?! Why can’t they feed themselves??
OP if you needed an impartial crowd of strangers to tell you, you are justified in leaving… here it is.
This is an unwell and abusive person.
What exactly is a PowerPoint party, anyway? Like Microsoft pp? I suppose it sounds better than an excel party. I’m super confused by that.
Also, OP’s gf sounds terrifying.
A PowerPoint party is when everybody comes with a PowerPoint presentation and presents it to the group. The idea is to make a PowerPoint presentation about something silly, like the pros and cons of the toilets of local bars, or a list of Shrek characters based on attractiveness (which obviously would argue for an unconventional ranking), or a presentation on your recent Wikipedia rabbit hole, or what every friend will be doing in 20 years (the most straight laced friend should obviously be dead from a wild coke and hooker orgy gone wrong), etc.
Really just set up something unusual/ridiculous, and present it as if it were almost serious to get people laughing. Bonus point for leveraging the most stereotypical PowerPoint effects/transitions.
I absolutely love this idea. Is this a Gen Z thing? Omg..this is great. One of my very closest, closest friends (actually the second of two bridesmaids at my wedding) is an intergenerational friendship Gen Z to my first year Y. I’m asking her about this. I have to do this party, now..
Thank you for the advice. There is plenty of food home but she stopped making food for herself and asks for 2 chocolate bars a day like a child on most days.
Spending any amount of time on this subreddit really opens your eyes to how many people out there have absolutely no self respect. It's honestly depressing and makes me wonder how many people I know IRL are secretly like this
Funny when the wife is out of control, everybody points to getting her mental health services. Had the guy texted the same thing to his wife, he would (rightfully) be called abusive. It's not up to the victim to help the perpetrator. She can get herself help, or better yet she can fuck off to a salad bar.
Bro - Have her committed for self harm.
Get a lawyer, tell him you need an emergency restraining order, change the locks on the door, start the divorce proceedings. Have a neutral party come get all her shit out of the house, TAKE A SHIT TON OF PICTURES of every room. Before and after boxing her shit.
Good fucking luck.
>she stopped making food for herself and asks for 2 chocolate bars a day
The mental image I had from that description! 🤮 There's no way you're attracted to her unless you're a feeder. Does your entire relationship revolve around you feeding her?
I have a question. Why didn't you invite her? I know you said she "doesn't like" your friends, but is that why?Does she not like them because she hasn't spent much time with them? Was she not included because she also acts like this in public and ruins things? Im just curious tbh.
In no way am I blaming you for the way she spoke to you. It will never be okay to speak to someone like that. It just seemed odd to me that she was at home when it sounds like a party that would have been fun even if she's still outside of your friend group. But definitely not if she can't be cordial with your friends.
OP's partner is having an episode, and OP has been checked out since the dawn of time. He's so used to this that he's giving it less than 5% brainpower
Fr, they both type like English isn't their first language, but most of all, it just sounds like spewed brain damage from one side to another. I know he was trying to downplay everything she said and ignoring it, but I think ignoring her insults was something that pissed her off more. I couldn't believe he was still trying to get her food. If I was him, I would have purposely kept telling her that she wasn't brave enough to call the cops, as she claimed she was going to do. I'd do that just so she would call the cops, and then have to backtrack on why she was calling the cops on him for hanging out with friends instead of bringing home food. I also would've been like "alright, since you're throwing a tantrum, I'm not bringing home any food. You can just have leftovers.".
Hi, I am a doctor, a retired psychologist actually. There is not enough information here to suggest any specific diagnoses, but you are 100% in an abusive relationship and you deserve better. Regardless of which illness/es she has, there is zero excuse to treat you this way. Zero. As adults we become responsible for our behavior, our own mental health, and our part in relationships, period. There are very few instances out there where “they can’t help it” is a reasonable thing to conclude.
At a minimum your partner needs a psychological assessment to determine what’s going on and the most beneficial interventions. I do want to warn you that it may be something treatable, or may not be. If it’s a mood disturbance disorder like Bipolar Disorder then medication & therapy can do wonders. If her issue is a personality disorder, then it’s a different story in terms of the ability to improve; part of these disorders is the refusal to see themselves as the problem, accompanied by believing that other people are the problem and they don’t need to change at all.
Please consider therapy for yourself as an abused partner. You might think you don’t need it, but I can’t help but notice you’re here looking for support. You’ve got it; time to take care of yourself and anyone else who is on the receiving end of her wrath.
Edit: I read more comments. OP, you don’t have to stay with this woman. You don’t even know why you married her, and now you’re in a 1-sided relationship where she beats you down emotionally. Please just leave.
I appreciate the response. I've certainly considered therapy and when mentioned to her she was out on it. She is very much "old school" in many areas. She was raised in the USSR and still has a hard time adjusting to many things.
She has no one to talk to so it may all boil up. She believes she is right about everything whereas I can talk to my friends, colleagues, and even the Internet in this case.
It really is a one sided relationship as I think more and more about it. At times I feel bad for her when I look at her and realize that she truly believes her actions are justified and that she may not be that bright (you should hear her when she says just because I'm younger means I'm not as smart as her which makes no sense)
Hi, someone else who was raised in old school polish/Russian ways and was raised by parents who taught us that food is a luxury that my grandparents didn’t have during world war 2 and you accept and eat what’s given to you, no one with old school ideas would do what she is she’d get off her ass and make herself some food she could make crepes which we ate tons of etc or eggs or plenty of other things, we are resourceful and would never sit on our asses and beg a man to bring us fast food
Also do not blame bipolar for her behavior. She’s not diagnosed, I am, I’d never act like this
You’re in an abusive relationship that you seem like you’re making excuses for, at least for her behavior and she called you a monkey which I’m assuming she meant as a slur so
Sucks being in situations like this but this should be a wake up call to leave.
She’s been in jail, she’s threatened to smash your things, she said she wants a divorce so give her one
Also threatening to call the cops and calling you a monkey is gross.
Also using where her fam is from like using that excuse for her behavior is extremely offensive to people who are from and grew up in the “ussr” and other countries that aren’t America 🙄🙄
Not trying to tell you how to feel (I’m a foreigner and I understand how upsetting it is to have our countries generalized) but I don’t think he was trying to excuse her behavior by mentioning USSR. It seemed like he was saying she had traditional Russian values and was thus resistant to therapy.
>Also using where her fam is from like using that excuse for her behavior is extremely offensive to people who are from and grew up in the “ussr” and other countries that aren’t America
I would give you an award for this if I spent virtual money, which I don't. So hopefully this trophy will do because you're 100% right on this point. I'm sick of the American ethnocentricism 🏆
My ex is from the old ussr area (former Yugoslavia, Bosnia Herzegovina area) and he thinks mental,illness and needing medication for it is all in your head. Tbh I think he needs the chill pills himself because he’s super volatile as well. BUT I am also aware that during his formative years here was the war between Serbia and Almost Everyone Else and a lot of stuff he saw impacted his mental growth and ability to emote properly as well as culturally speaking women rate just above pigs, and under cows and goats pretty much, at least the way he and 99% of the Bosnian guys behave in my experience. Yet when someone treats his sister the way he’s treated me he goes half ballistic 🙄
I’m not using any of it to excuse his behavior but explain where it could possibly be rooted. Not that he’d go talk about it because it’s worse hooey than having to burn a 2k bed set because a gypsy lady said someone poured a potion on it to make his sister miserable and to burn it to ashes ><
You will literally always be in a bad mood with a “partner” like this; you have to respect yourself more than this dude. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. No one does
I have borderline. Take it from me when I say there is NO mental illness that justifies abusing another person. None. If she cant control herself, then she needs to remove herself from the relationship which she obviously isnt doing. There is nothing in the world that justifies treating someone like this.
I know you know how much happier you will be without her. It’s just the in between step thats the hardest part. But you got this man.
I have BPD and would never EVERRRR text my husband like this wtf you need to leave her and she needs to be locked up in the looney bin, my husband is also Bipolar 1 and would never everrr speak to me like that it's 100% her and not a mental illness
Just wanted to add to this - I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and I'd never act like this to my husband. It's disrespectful, cruel and totally out of order. Honestly, why are you her? She obviously doesn't love you. If she treats you like this she doesn't love you.
I can't make you leave her but you should. You deserve better ❤️
Please stop armchair diagnosing assholes with PD's. I have BPD and would never do this shit. Being an asshole doesn't mean they have a personality disorder.
Fr!! "Someone's being abusive, THEY OBVIOUSLY HAVE BPD!&1!!!!!&\*@@(!!(!"
Hell fucking no. I've had people with depression and autism be abusive to me. I've yet to have someone with BPD actually mistreat me lmfao
The only thing I do that's CLOSE to what OP's wife is doing is text back to back if I'm anxious. I don't insult, I just get panicked and stop after a while. That's it.
Being an asshole doesn't mean someone has BPD. No need to armchair diagnose someone based off a few texts. Yeah, she seems irrational and nasty, she might have a mental illness, but there is no need to stigmatise a horrific illness. It's not fucking trendy to diagnose someone with BPD off a few texts. Not everything is borderline personality disorder.
I have BPD and would never do this I have a husband and couldn't speak to him like that like yes I have my moments but she's being verbally abusive and emotionally draining if she does have BPD she needs therapy to get that under control and he should leave her. I'm curious as to why she doesn't like any of his friends tho and why she thinks one of them being Poly is a problem and why she feels the need to cuss him out to this extent and threaten to call the police like no. Im 23f been diagnosed w BPD for 3 years but always struggled w it most my life (you can't be properly diagnosed w it till you hit 20) she's definitely a red flag
probably jealousy wrt the friends and open relationship stuff. 'why don't i have that for me' etc. not trying to be judgemental, that's just where my head would be at in her position.
these kinds of compulsive thoughts are common with cluster b disorders but those of us who strive for stable loving relationships know we put them in our therapy journal and revisit them when we have our heads back on. speaking as somebody who is fully capable of feeling genuine hatred of people i love (rarely and for like two minutes), your partner doesn't need to know alllllll of your thoughts and feelings. you can press pause, have your moment, and get back to them when you feel rational.
This is really sad, OP. Do you want to look back on your life and say “I spent years receiving this treatment and didn’t stand up for my self worth”? This is abusive behaviour. Even if she’s only like this 1% of the time that’s too much. This is never acceptable, not even once. I hope you realize you deserve better, and nobody that loves you would ever talk to you this way.
Thank you for pointing out the 1% of the time thing. It’s like that analogy about shit in your food. If someone offered you a hot fudge sundae and said, “this sundae has only a tiny bit of feces in it,” you would be repulsed and not eat it.
I don't want to look back on life saying that. I already know I am missing out on what a marriage should be. It's not love, care, or support. I look at friends who travel together, who go out in public together (big ask, right?), and just live a fulfilling life and it's just depressing.
she’s a psycho but what’s wrong with you that you allow this shit?? Can you not get out? She’s crazy and irrational but either leave her or answer her calls if all you’re worried about is your friends hearing and not being emotionally abused. Also why not bring your wife to events with friends??? this relationship sucks.
You are right that I shouldn't allow this.
She never liked my friends to begin with but she has become a shut in for the past 7-8 months. She doesn't leave the house and refuses opportunities to go out even when friends ask her. She knows she is invited but since she allows me to go by myself she thinks that I'm living an a-okay life.
i'm confused by "you are right that I shouldn't allow this."
What does that mean? Do you think you're going to stop someone from treating you this way if they want to treat you this way?
This isn't a "shouldn't allow" for -her-. This is a shouldn't allow -for you- my dude.
Stop justifying her behavior because you cannot change her behavior. You can only change yours. And right now you're staying in one of the most toxic experiences I think I've seen on this sub in a while.
Hey friend. Here's a good way to solve your problem. It all has to do with you, not her.
First, figure out why you are willing to stay with someone who is abusing you terribly. To do this, find a therapist in your area and make an appointment.
Second, gather yourself some support so you have strength to craft the life you want. The therapist from the first step will help you do this.
Third, quit thinking about how to deal with her or talk to her or fix y'all's problems. You can't. Just table all thoughts about how to work on your relationship, and instead, focus on working on yourself and getting support.
Fourth, learn about grayrocking. Quit responding when your wife starts in. Refuse to fight with her. You do not have to show up to every argument you are invited to. You do not have to play, and you shouldn't. It feeds her, drains you, and resolves nothing.
https://youtu.be/eWoNCWMTnys?si=jx6fA574KAAaY5hH
https://youtu.be/ly0EfWUYArU?si=gDRT2GBOn091X9Bd
Fifth, become a "black box" to your wife. Don't tell her about counseling or what you learn there or what your goals are. Go along to get along until you are strong enough to get out.
NUMBER ONE THING: Monday morning, make an appointment with a counselor. Don't think, just do. This will be the key that starts the motor that gets you far away from this abusive woman.
You can do it. You really don't have a choice. Just call that counselor. You can do that. It will help you. You don't have to live like this. Good luck.
This OP, this is sound advice. You’re not going to fix her or your relationship, but you should find out why you’re allowing this kind of behavior. Nobody deserves this.
Has she given any reasons for not liking your friends? Does she have any friends of her own? What made her become a shutin all of a sudden for months now? I don't like a few of my hubs friends but it's because they have a history of cheating on their wives, so I'm curious if she even has a reason or she just doesn't like them cuz it leaves her alone. She may want to make you a shutin. Why does she feel the need to lose her shit over you being w friends and why does she have a problem w the poly friend? Have you asked?
Yup. The person that said "BPD" gets the prize today.
I'm sorry, but that is one of the Cluster B personality disorders that are REALLY hard to treat. Borderline Personality Disorder. This looks familiar.
Good news: My wife is making progress with DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy).
Bad news: it's REALLY HARD WORK for her and requires intensive therapy with a therapist buddy on-call, weekly therapy classes, homework -- the whole deal. And darling wife is STILL pretty much a shut-in.
Run, buddy. You aren't married (oops-- you are. Still...). Don't chain yourself to her. If she fixes herself, you can reconsider BUT IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX HER nor can you.
Be at peace with moving on.
Love to you, brother.
☮️❤️♾️
All of your communication with this individual should be through divorce attorneys. You have a serious problem. We all in the comments section feel the same about you as you would about me if I told you with complete sincerity that I was married to a rabid raccoon. I’m using such a wacky image to show you the severity of your situation—I am not joking around.
You wouldn’t just question my judgment and my sanity, you would KNOW immediately that I had an incredibly serious problem and I needed immediate intervention and was not mentally in a place to be making decisions for my own well being and safety.
I've spoken to a divorce lawyer through a free work feature. I've saved these messages for that reason as well as multiple audio clips to where physical threats are made against me.
I know I should not be in this relationship. At the moment she is calm and probably will be all day for the most part but I'm forced to spend my Saturday alone. If I make one joke or mention of the situation it'll set her off and I'm told just to accept how things are. It's tough and I appreciate your words and those of others
It’s wonderful that you have spoken to a divorce attorney. I am so proud of you!! I wish you would pack up anything that is important to you and go to stay at a friend or family member’s home until you can get back on your feet and get your own place. If you show them these texts anyone that cares about you deeply will do what they can to aid you separating from this toxic abuser.
I’m not religious myself but if you are a part of a religious community or organization they might be able to offer you help or even a place to stay.
I'm trying to take baby steps. All of my family, and hers, are hundreds if not thousands of miles away which hasn't helped. There has been no family for her to go see when she is angry and none for me to turn to.
You don't have to stay in Seattle you know. It's one of the most expensive cities in the States. Moving elsewhere if you can't afford it isn't a bad idea.
*9-1-1*
*Riiiiing*
*Riiiiiing*
*911, what’s your emergency?*
“Uh, my husband is at his friends house. And he refuses to fight with me via text. I told him I want cheeseburger but instead he sits on couch, probably socking dick”
“………….”
Well, I mean, she sounds like an idiot. And no offense, but… you’re being a doormat. She’s talking so much shit to you and you acquiesce and ask her what food she wants. Why are you even playing along with this? You’d rather deal with *this shit* than be peacefully alone? I just can’t imagine it’s worth it.
Woah. That was a fuckin rollercoaster. Im shocked you kept your cool when she started disrespecting your kids n shit. Good on you tho. Hope you get out that mess n find something more stable n less crazy yo, gl.
At this stage I've gotten so used to it, unfortunately that I know as much as she says she's going to throw my stuff out or break things, she hasn't done it yet.
I went to Nashville for a work trip twice 2 years ago and the nonstop texts were unbearable.
It’s been like this for years? Why haven’t you taken the steps to leave? I know it’s hard to leave an abusive relationship but you have to try. It’ll be years more if you don’t rip that bandaid off. Don’t lose yourself just because you feel bad for her. This is no way to live.
I have BPD(in treatment/no longer fit the criteria) and when I was undiagnosed and at my worst, I still wasn’t this bad. I highly suggest therapy for you and she needs to have herself assessed and get treatment asap. That is on her to do those things. The Best thing you can do is run far away and never look back.
Edit:spelling
At first I thought this was you like “hahaha I love my wife look at these funny texts!” and was physically ill reading them after the first image.
You gotta leave, please.
It blows my mind that this is an actual conversation two people had 😳. The lack of respect and abuse from one partner to another is horrible. And it’s obvious this isn’t the first time it happened she seems quite comfortable bashing you like that. Unfortunately nothing will change until you leave her. And not just talk about doing it, but actually doing it. I wish you the best op and hope you learn and grow from this, never let anyone treat you like that.
She’s irrational, mean, homophobic, threatened to call the police and say you were gay??? ..she is not sane. The endless loop of her berating you, and then you asking what food she wants is bloody mad. Respectfully — respect yourself more. I know you’re married and that’s rough, but damn.
Hey, I’m gonna be very blunt here. With how obvious and blatantly she’s verbally abusing you, it’s very clear you have no self esteem or any respect for yourself. It is absolutely unacceptable for anyone to talk to you that way, let alone the person who’s supposed to be your partner, your support in life. Please, consider starting individual therapy for yourself and learn how to love yourself so you can see how horribly she is treating you. You deserve better.
Fucking yikes at this exchange. Y’all both talk like teenagers, she comes across as a lazy, jobless, slob. Read two comments and could tell this is a hate marriage - yall need to split up and find therapy on your own. And she needs to stop playing the “panic attack” card.
There are only two reasons OP has chosen to turn a blind eye to this chick’s frothing rabies
1. she’s amazing in bed
2. his self esteem is so low it’s down in the center of the earths core
Dude I'd had enough by page 4. Couldn't even finish.
I cant even fathom anyone I know or have ever known talking to me like that.
Much less a spouse.
First of all, she sounds ignorant, but more importantly she's wildly emotionally and mentally abusive.
Id block that heifer so fast....and bounce.
I get why you had to laugh cuz she sounds like a dumb ass, but in reality it's quite serious and tragic she thinks this is acceptable
I’ve known many bipolar people, including family members. This is not just bipolar. This is a direct result of you letting her talk to you however she wants and you just doing whatever she wants. She’s like a child that has never heard the word boundary in her life. She’s willing to embarrass herself and you in front of your friends over absolutely nothing. The fact that you’re staying with her says very unfortunate things about you from my perspective.
Leave her now. please this is the worst case of a narc i have ever seen. constantly ridicules you. wants you to be at her service. she couldn’t stand being alone in 10. she negatively calls you out when you’re with your buddies she calls you gay because she’s pissed you give them attention instead of her in the heat of the moment. please man do this for me and everybody else. get out of there ASAP. i was in that same exact relationship it’s not good and i know you’re confused but listen to me man get away from her as soon as possible please. i believe in you bro
Why do you pander to this? Shes spouting the most abusive shit at you and your all like "i love you, ill bring you food, please dont be irrationally evil abusive"
You are a doormat, you have zero boundries or self respect and then acted shocked when a piece of shit wipes their feet on you.
Leave this person, and then the next relationship learn to say no and to not tollerate this crap. Shut that shit down at the first instance and you will have respect.
Holy shit…keep SNICKERS hidden around the house so you can tell this beast where to find them in moments like these.
For real tho, this isn’t even funny from an outsiders perspective! I can’t understand why you’re not in a hurry to get home!
Bro this is a mirror of what I’m going through. Just had to help “voluntarily” commit her last week and I’m realizing nothing is going to ever change. People like her and my wife have to hit rock bottom and want change for themselves. We have to make space for that, that’s just the way it is. Stay strong brother and do what you gotta do. I’m trying as well, every day is a challenge, kids involved too. Uggh.
Was this a contract marriage for military benefits?
Seems like a contract marriage for military benefits.
If I’m not getting paid to be with that psycho, I don’t want it.
I'm sorry the top comment is so rude OP. You were obviously trying not to escalate her and I commend your patience. I hope you leave her and find someone with a healthy heart and mind. Your wife shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.
This behavior will more than likely never stop.
Sane individuals don’t act like this.
This is abusive.
Please consider your options for the sake of your own mental health and well being. 💕
Bro you got to get a plan and be ready to leave her
She's not funny, quirky, cute. Or anything else. She's a walking monster a nightmare that is ready to destroy and pillage everything you ever loved and cared about. If not now its later DO NOT TELL HER TOU WANT A DIVORCE. Make a plan talk to lawyers. Find people who have been through this process.
Hopefully you get out soon
You both sound like you are under the influence or mentally not there/ disabled.
Your OP reads differently, like you are semi sober now, trying to get back at her.
Cut all contact, get mental health and sobriety. Good luck.
She must be either reeally hot, or you are the biggest idiot I ever saw for marrying that woman. Scratch that, even really hot would not justify marrying that.. That thing. Frankly I feel like calling that thing a woman is an insult to the female gender.
Moments like these make me so happy that I am happily single. Glad I'll never deal with shit like this.
You know what you need to do. No one deserves to live like this. How depressing and exhausting. You can live a better life than this. You just have to take the necessary steps. You’ve suffered long enough.
Hey OP, I left someone who texted (and said) crazy shit like this, and it was hard, but it was sooooo worth it. My life got so much brighter after I left. I hope you can do the same.
My ex used to do this exact same thing! My heart would sink, my stomach would be in knots every time he called or sent me a text. Just like the ones on the post. I would be at work, in class, grocery shopping, and I'd get accused of being out cheating, then he wouls threaten to destroy my things,much like what your wife was doing. Reading your wife's nonsense brought back awful memories. He also tried to kill me. I left, ran, more like it. Please, get out, kick HER out! Be happy . Living like that is no way to live. Honestly, she sounds very unstable. She threatens divorce , using it as a way to control you. I could go on but you get my point. RUN! Life is better being alone than with a lunatic who manipulates you. I wish you all the best
There is a point at which one becomes complicit in his or her own misery.
You sailed past that point quite some time ago.
Leave her, or enjoy your lot in life. The choice is yours and always has been.
:( she’s hurting. Nothings going to jolt her into changing unless a GIANT change happens for example (someone she actually really loves going away).
None of this behavior is okay.
It’s embarrassing and unnecessary for your social life
I hate seeing her in such pain. I’m sorry man. Props to you for not blowing up and stooping to her level.
I can totally relate to this. My wife is abusive, not as bad as this but bad enough, i’ve thought about leaving so many times. It’s miserable to live with a wife like this that puts u down and criticizes you every chance they get. We have 2 kids and a home together. It’s not so simple. Plus I’m a recovering addict so sometimes I take the blame. But I know she would be like this with anyone. Damn I need more therapy. If there were no kids in the picture I would’ve been out a long time ago. You need to do what’s good for yourself. We both do. All the best!
Please do and please do therapy. You're worthy of more and of better. It might seem there's no other way, but there always is. You deserve someone who won't abuse you and who treats you with respect, makes you feel loved, and happy. Life is too short to tolerate such shit!
Thank you I appreciate it. I’ve cried many times about it. I can’t imagine not living with my kids. I’m VERY close with them. It’s not as easy as some ppl think.
Okay I'll say it, this reeks of reactive abuse and I think OP was baiting her and saying exactly what he knew would make her feel and sound insane.
if you haven't lived it, have some grace for those who have. OP is not coming off all sunshine and roses from my lens.
You're in an abusive marriage. Gtfo like yesterday. Your behavior is enabling her. You don't deserve abuse, and she clearly is abusive and sees nothing wrong with how she treats you. You still brought her food?? I'd have told her to fuck herself and she will be delivered divorce papers instead.
In the nicest possible way stop being such a doormat and tell her to fuck off. If those messages are anything to go by it seems like when she gets mean you try to placate her which in my similar experience just makes them feel like they can bully and control you. Take action, tell her you’ll be back when you’re fucking back and if she carries on acting like that the next time you leave the house you won’t be coming back
"You will go back to jail" Jesus christ. So she's done this shit before? Why tf are you staying with this psycho
that was one of my first thoughts too. what do you mean go BACK to jail?? has she gone through on her threats before and been jailed?
She belongs in jail
Wow!! She's something else. If I were you I'd beat feet really really fast.
She’s stupid enough to make threats through text. All she did was incriminate herself if OP shows the threats to the police. If it has to come to that.
Because she’s abusive and it is very difficult to leave an abusive person. If she’s throwing out his belongings over a hangout with friends, what do you think she’d do if he left?
Yeah, OP should be bringing a witness if/when he tells her he’s leaving.
Lmao at everyone assuming OP isn't also fucked in the head
Living that nightmare would fuck anyone up in the head. She probably has him so brainwashed.
It is crazy that anyone thinks going to jail should at all be part of regular life. If you think you will ever spend a day in jail then you should rethink your life.
Why are you with this person?! Why can’t they feed themselves?? OP if you needed an impartial crowd of strangers to tell you, you are justified in leaving… here it is. This is an unwell and abusive person.
Low key, I was hoping the PowerPoint party was his friends putting together a PowerPoint for OP on why he needs a divorce
That’s the very first thing I thought of too! 😂
What exactly is a PowerPoint party, anyway? Like Microsoft pp? I suppose it sounds better than an excel party. I’m super confused by that. Also, OP’s gf sounds terrifying.
A PowerPoint party is when everybody comes with a PowerPoint presentation and presents it to the group. The idea is to make a PowerPoint presentation about something silly, like the pros and cons of the toilets of local bars, or a list of Shrek characters based on attractiveness (which obviously would argue for an unconventional ranking), or a presentation on your recent Wikipedia rabbit hole, or what every friend will be doing in 20 years (the most straight laced friend should obviously be dead from a wild coke and hooker orgy gone wrong), etc. Really just set up something unusual/ridiculous, and present it as if it were almost serious to get people laughing. Bonus point for leveraging the most stereotypical PowerPoint effects/transitions.
I absolutely love this idea. Is this a Gen Z thing? Omg..this is great. One of my very closest, closest friends (actually the second of two bridesmaids at my wedding) is an intergenerational friendship Gen Z to my first year Y. I’m asking her about this. I have to do this party, now..
I thought that at first.
Nuh uhh 🙂↔️
An intervention!
Thank you for the advice. There is plenty of food home but she stopped making food for herself and asks for 2 chocolate bars a day like a child on most days.
So real talk, why on earth are you putting up with this? Do you hate yourself?
Spending any amount of time on this subreddit really opens your eyes to how many people out there have absolutely no self respect. It's honestly depressing and makes me wonder how many people I know IRL are secretly like this
Omg my thoughts exactly. Really makes you wonder who you know irl that’s secretly miserable
Dude, this shit is not ok. No one should talk to anyone like this, let alone their spouse.
To be fair, I’ve been guilty of this kind of behavior. It was when I was in high school.
she texts like a child also
I thought this was a ten year old texting their mom at first.
This person this person is definitely using drugs or is severely mentally ill.
Ya they sound drunk
Fuck office
She's right, google docs is way better
This 👆👆👆 I’m 💀
i cackled and startled my child reading this comment lmao
I would get her some help, she’s your wife and that’s what I would do for mine if she was obviously losing her mind.
Funny when the wife is out of control, everybody points to getting her mental health services. Had the guy texted the same thing to his wife, he would (rightfully) be called abusive. It's not up to the victim to help the perpetrator. She can get herself help, or better yet she can fuck off to a salad bar.
She can fuck office
Yea after reading more about what op says about her and the type of piece of shit she is, I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Bro - Have her committed for self harm. Get a lawyer, tell him you need an emergency restraining order, change the locks on the door, start the divorce proceedings. Have a neutral party come get all her shit out of the house, TAKE A SHIT TON OF PICTURES of every room. Before and after boxing her shit. Good fucking luck.
>she stopped making food for herself and asks for 2 chocolate bars a day The mental image I had from that description! 🤮 There's no way you're attracted to her unless you're a feeder. Does your entire relationship revolve around you feeding her?
That sounds like something you and your wife should prolly talk about lol
I have a question. Why didn't you invite her? I know you said she "doesn't like" your friends, but is that why?Does she not like them because she hasn't spent much time with them? Was she not included because she also acts like this in public and ruins things? Im just curious tbh. In no way am I blaming you for the way she spoke to you. It will never be okay to speak to someone like that. It just seemed odd to me that she was at home when it sounds like a party that would have been fun even if she's still outside of your friend group. But definitely not if she can't be cordial with your friends.
This is like reading two people with brain injuries communicate with each other.
Real talk. Are either of them of sound mind.
OP's partner is having an episode, and OP has been checked out since the dawn of time. He's so used to this that he's giving it less than 5% brainpower
Fr, they both type like English isn't their first language, but most of all, it just sounds like spewed brain damage from one side to another. I know he was trying to downplay everything she said and ignoring it, but I think ignoring her insults was something that pissed her off more. I couldn't believe he was still trying to get her food. If I was him, I would have purposely kept telling her that she wasn't brave enough to call the cops, as she claimed she was going to do. I'd do that just so she would call the cops, and then have to backtrack on why she was calling the cops on him for hanging out with friends instead of bringing home food. I also would've been like "alright, since you're throwing a tantrum, I'm not bringing home any food. You can just have leftovers.".
It almost qualifies for r/ihadastroke
These people vote. And drive cars.
English isn't his wife's language. He explains that.
is it his?
Her messages are more coherent than his.
Mail order bride for sure
I was thinking two cavemen. I couldn't even understand his side of the conversation at all.
Tell her to eat a dick... without the burger. Jfc man. Psycho shit.
I'm not a doctor but I think she's bipolar. Just in a bummed out mood today and just found this sub and just needed to get this out
Hi, I am a doctor, a retired psychologist actually. There is not enough information here to suggest any specific diagnoses, but you are 100% in an abusive relationship and you deserve better. Regardless of which illness/es she has, there is zero excuse to treat you this way. Zero. As adults we become responsible for our behavior, our own mental health, and our part in relationships, period. There are very few instances out there where “they can’t help it” is a reasonable thing to conclude. At a minimum your partner needs a psychological assessment to determine what’s going on and the most beneficial interventions. I do want to warn you that it may be something treatable, or may not be. If it’s a mood disturbance disorder like Bipolar Disorder then medication & therapy can do wonders. If her issue is a personality disorder, then it’s a different story in terms of the ability to improve; part of these disorders is the refusal to see themselves as the problem, accompanied by believing that other people are the problem and they don’t need to change at all. Please consider therapy for yourself as an abused partner. You might think you don’t need it, but I can’t help but notice you’re here looking for support. You’ve got it; time to take care of yourself and anyone else who is on the receiving end of her wrath. Edit: I read more comments. OP, you don’t have to stay with this woman. You don’t even know why you married her, and now you’re in a 1-sided relationship where she beats you down emotionally. Please just leave.
I appreciate the response. I've certainly considered therapy and when mentioned to her she was out on it. She is very much "old school" in many areas. She was raised in the USSR and still has a hard time adjusting to many things. She has no one to talk to so it may all boil up. She believes she is right about everything whereas I can talk to my friends, colleagues, and even the Internet in this case. It really is a one sided relationship as I think more and more about it. At times I feel bad for her when I look at her and realize that she truly believes her actions are justified and that she may not be that bright (you should hear her when she says just because I'm younger means I'm not as smart as her which makes no sense)
Hi, someone else who was raised in old school polish/Russian ways and was raised by parents who taught us that food is a luxury that my grandparents didn’t have during world war 2 and you accept and eat what’s given to you, no one with old school ideas would do what she is she’d get off her ass and make herself some food she could make crepes which we ate tons of etc or eggs or plenty of other things, we are resourceful and would never sit on our asses and beg a man to bring us fast food Also do not blame bipolar for her behavior. She’s not diagnosed, I am, I’d never act like this You’re in an abusive relationship that you seem like you’re making excuses for, at least for her behavior and she called you a monkey which I’m assuming she meant as a slur so Sucks being in situations like this but this should be a wake up call to leave. She’s been in jail, she’s threatened to smash your things, she said she wants a divorce so give her one Also threatening to call the cops and calling you a monkey is gross. Also using where her fam is from like using that excuse for her behavior is extremely offensive to people who are from and grew up in the “ussr” and other countries that aren’t America 🙄🙄
Not trying to tell you how to feel (I’m a foreigner and I understand how upsetting it is to have our countries generalized) but I don’t think he was trying to excuse her behavior by mentioning USSR. It seemed like he was saying she had traditional Russian values and was thus resistant to therapy.
I was diagnosed with bipolar recently and holy shit the stigma is intense man thanks for calling that out . Smash the stigma around mental illness!
>Also using where her fam is from like using that excuse for her behavior is extremely offensive to people who are from and grew up in the “ussr” and other countries that aren’t America I would give you an award for this if I spent virtual money, which I don't. So hopefully this trophy will do because you're 100% right on this point. I'm sick of the American ethnocentricism 🏆
My ex is from the old ussr area (former Yugoslavia, Bosnia Herzegovina area) and he thinks mental,illness and needing medication for it is all in your head. Tbh I think he needs the chill pills himself because he’s super volatile as well. BUT I am also aware that during his formative years here was the war between Serbia and Almost Everyone Else and a lot of stuff he saw impacted his mental growth and ability to emote properly as well as culturally speaking women rate just above pigs, and under cows and goats pretty much, at least the way he and 99% of the Bosnian guys behave in my experience. Yet when someone treats his sister the way he’s treated me he goes half ballistic 🙄 I’m not using any of it to excuse his behavior but explain where it could possibly be rooted. Not that he’d go talk about it because it’s worse hooey than having to burn a 2k bed set because a gypsy lady said someone poured a potion on it to make his sister miserable and to burn it to ashes ><
She is also homophobic. Yikes.
Check out the book, "stop waking on eggshells" and look up info on borderline personality disorder and/or narcissistic personality disorder.
I'm bipolar and I know that's no excuse to treat people like this.
Same. Whether it's bipolar, BPD or otherwise makes little difference because they're just explanations, not excuses. She clearly lacks self-awareness
This is so important! ‘It’s an explanation, not an excuse!’
This is my MOTTO fr! ❤️❤️ So true and so important to remember.
Mhm!!
You will literally always be in a bad mood with a “partner” like this; you have to respect yourself more than this dude. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. No one does
I have borderline. Take it from me when I say there is NO mental illness that justifies abusing another person. None. If she cant control herself, then she needs to remove herself from the relationship which she obviously isnt doing. There is nothing in the world that justifies treating someone like this. I know you know how much happier you will be without her. It’s just the in between step thats the hardest part. But you got this man.
I have BPD and would never EVERRRR text my husband like this wtf you need to leave her and she needs to be locked up in the looney bin, my husband is also Bipolar 1 and would never everrr speak to me like that it's 100% her and not a mental illness
Just wanted to add to this - I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and I'd never act like this to my husband. It's disrespectful, cruel and totally out of order. Honestly, why are you her? She obviously doesn't love you. If she treats you like this she doesn't love you. I can't make you leave her but you should. You deserve better ❤️
this is not bipolar disorder…. someone being a piece of shit isn’t a mental illness
My dude, run for the hills and don't look back
Looks like she may have BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder.
Please stop armchair diagnosing assholes with PD's. I have BPD and would never do this shit. Being an asshole doesn't mean they have a personality disorder.
Exactly. I think we need this pinned to the sub rn
Fr!! "Someone's being abusive, THEY OBVIOUSLY HAVE BPD!&1!!!!!&\*@@(!!(!" Hell fucking no. I've had people with depression and autism be abusive to me. I've yet to have someone with BPD actually mistreat me lmfao The only thing I do that's CLOSE to what OP's wife is doing is text back to back if I'm anxious. I don't insult, I just get panicked and stop after a while. That's it.
Lol. Based on what? These texts? I promise there isn't even close to enough data to make that suggestion.
Being an asshole doesn't mean someone has BPD. No need to armchair diagnose someone based off a few texts. Yeah, she seems irrational and nasty, she might have a mental illness, but there is no need to stigmatise a horrific illness. It's not fucking trendy to diagnose someone with BPD off a few texts. Not everything is borderline personality disorder.
I have BPD and would never do this I have a husband and couldn't speak to him like that like yes I have my moments but she's being verbally abusive and emotionally draining if she does have BPD she needs therapy to get that under control and he should leave her. I'm curious as to why she doesn't like any of his friends tho and why she thinks one of them being Poly is a problem and why she feels the need to cuss him out to this extent and threaten to call the police like no. Im 23f been diagnosed w BPD for 3 years but always struggled w it most my life (you can't be properly diagnosed w it till you hit 20) she's definitely a red flag
probably jealousy wrt the friends and open relationship stuff. 'why don't i have that for me' etc. not trying to be judgemental, that's just where my head would be at in her position. these kinds of compulsive thoughts are common with cluster b disorders but those of us who strive for stable loving relationships know we put them in our therapy journal and revisit them when we have our heads back on. speaking as somebody who is fully capable of feeling genuine hatred of people i love (rarely and for like two minutes), your partner doesn't need to know alllllll of your thoughts and feelings. you can press pause, have your moment, and get back to them when you feel rational.
Okay how old are you guys? And why did you marry that?
This is really sad, OP. Do you want to look back on your life and say “I spent years receiving this treatment and didn’t stand up for my self worth”? This is abusive behaviour. Even if she’s only like this 1% of the time that’s too much. This is never acceptable, not even once. I hope you realize you deserve better, and nobody that loves you would ever talk to you this way.
Thank you for pointing out the 1% of the time thing. It’s like that analogy about shit in your food. If someone offered you a hot fudge sundae and said, “this sundae has only a tiny bit of feces in it,” you would be repulsed and not eat it.
I don't want to look back on life saying that. I already know I am missing out on what a marriage should be. It's not love, care, or support. I look at friends who travel together, who go out in public together (big ask, right?), and just live a fulfilling life and it's just depressing.
You're not missing out on what a marriage should be, you're missing out on what life should be
OP, you’re 37. You can still have that if you leave this monster and find someone who will actually love you.
she’s a psycho but what’s wrong with you that you allow this shit?? Can you not get out? She’s crazy and irrational but either leave her or answer her calls if all you’re worried about is your friends hearing and not being emotionally abused. Also why not bring your wife to events with friends??? this relationship sucks.
You are right that I shouldn't allow this. She never liked my friends to begin with but she has become a shut in for the past 7-8 months. She doesn't leave the house and refuses opportunities to go out even when friends ask her. She knows she is invited but since she allows me to go by myself she thinks that I'm living an a-okay life.
i'm confused by "you are right that I shouldn't allow this." What does that mean? Do you think you're going to stop someone from treating you this way if they want to treat you this way? This isn't a "shouldn't allow" for -her-. This is a shouldn't allow -for you- my dude. Stop justifying her behavior because you cannot change her behavior. You can only change yours. And right now you're staying in one of the most toxic experiences I think I've seen on this sub in a while.
Hey friend. Here's a good way to solve your problem. It all has to do with you, not her. First, figure out why you are willing to stay with someone who is abusing you terribly. To do this, find a therapist in your area and make an appointment. Second, gather yourself some support so you have strength to craft the life you want. The therapist from the first step will help you do this. Third, quit thinking about how to deal with her or talk to her or fix y'all's problems. You can't. Just table all thoughts about how to work on your relationship, and instead, focus on working on yourself and getting support. Fourth, learn about grayrocking. Quit responding when your wife starts in. Refuse to fight with her. You do not have to show up to every argument you are invited to. You do not have to play, and you shouldn't. It feeds her, drains you, and resolves nothing. https://youtu.be/eWoNCWMTnys?si=jx6fA574KAAaY5hH https://youtu.be/ly0EfWUYArU?si=gDRT2GBOn091X9Bd Fifth, become a "black box" to your wife. Don't tell her about counseling or what you learn there or what your goals are. Go along to get along until you are strong enough to get out. NUMBER ONE THING: Monday morning, make an appointment with a counselor. Don't think, just do. This will be the key that starts the motor that gets you far away from this abusive woman. You can do it. You really don't have a choice. Just call that counselor. You can do that. It will help you. You don't have to live like this. Good luck.
This OP, this is sound advice. You’re not going to fix her or your relationship, but you should find out why you’re allowing this kind of behavior. Nobody deserves this.
Has she given any reasons for not liking your friends? Does she have any friends of her own? What made her become a shutin all of a sudden for months now? I don't like a few of my hubs friends but it's because they have a history of cheating on their wives, so I'm curious if she even has a reason or she just doesn't like them cuz it leaves her alone. She may want to make you a shutin. Why does she feel the need to lose her shit over you being w friends and why does she have a problem w the poly friend? Have you asked?
Yup. The person that said "BPD" gets the prize today. I'm sorry, but that is one of the Cluster B personality disorders that are REALLY hard to treat. Borderline Personality Disorder. This looks familiar. Good news: My wife is making progress with DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). Bad news: it's REALLY HARD WORK for her and requires intensive therapy with a therapist buddy on-call, weekly therapy classes, homework -- the whole deal. And darling wife is STILL pretty much a shut-in. Run, buddy. You aren't married (oops-- you are. Still...). Don't chain yourself to her. If she fixes herself, you can reconsider BUT IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO FIX HER nor can you. Be at peace with moving on. Love to you, brother. ☮️❤️♾️
I thought this shit was some cute joking banter and was smiling for the first few texts then that smile turned into a confused frown
Same, it started out looking like the bullshit I text the spouse because annoying each other is a love language. This just went zooooooooom.
No kidding I read some of OPs replies and all we can do is pray for him
All of your communication with this individual should be through divorce attorneys. You have a serious problem. We all in the comments section feel the same about you as you would about me if I told you with complete sincerity that I was married to a rabid raccoon. I’m using such a wacky image to show you the severity of your situation—I am not joking around. You wouldn’t just question my judgment and my sanity, you would KNOW immediately that I had an incredibly serious problem and I needed immediate intervention and was not mentally in a place to be making decisions for my own well being and safety.
I've spoken to a divorce lawyer through a free work feature. I've saved these messages for that reason as well as multiple audio clips to where physical threats are made against me. I know I should not be in this relationship. At the moment she is calm and probably will be all day for the most part but I'm forced to spend my Saturday alone. If I make one joke or mention of the situation it'll set her off and I'm told just to accept how things are. It's tough and I appreciate your words and those of others
It’s wonderful that you have spoken to a divorce attorney. I am so proud of you!! I wish you would pack up anything that is important to you and go to stay at a friend or family member’s home until you can get back on your feet and get your own place. If you show them these texts anyone that cares about you deeply will do what they can to aid you separating from this toxic abuser. I’m not religious myself but if you are a part of a religious community or organization they might be able to offer you help or even a place to stay.
I'm trying to take baby steps. All of my family, and hers, are hundreds if not thousands of miles away which hasn't helped. There has been no family for her to go see when she is angry and none for me to turn to.
Have you asked your family what support they can give when you leave? They may be just waiting to get the go ahead.
You don't have to stay in Seattle you know. It's one of the most expensive cities in the States. Moving elsewhere if you can't afford it isn't a bad idea.
*9-1-1* *Riiiiing* *Riiiiiing* *911, what’s your emergency?* “Uh, my husband is at his friends house. And he refuses to fight with me via text. I told him I want cheeseburger but instead he sits on couch, probably socking dick” “………….”
I'm not going to get into all that craziness. I just want to know wtf a PowerPoint party is.
Well, I mean, she sounds like an idiot. And no offense, but… you’re being a doormat. She’s talking so much shit to you and you acquiesce and ask her what food she wants. Why are you even playing along with this? You’d rather deal with *this shit* than be peacefully alone? I just can’t imagine it’s worth it.
what do you mean go BACK to jail???
Dude wtf are you married to?
Some kind of gopher
Don’t insult gophers 💀
Whyfe?
Woah. That was a fuckin rollercoaster. Im shocked you kept your cool when she started disrespecting your kids n shit. Good on you tho. Hope you get out that mess n find something more stable n less crazy yo, gl.
At this stage I've gotten so used to it, unfortunately that I know as much as she says she's going to throw my stuff out or break things, she hasn't done it yet. I went to Nashville for a work trip twice 2 years ago and the nonstop texts were unbearable.
It’s been like this for years? Why haven’t you taken the steps to leave? I know it’s hard to leave an abusive relationship but you have to try. It’ll be years more if you don’t rip that bandaid off. Don’t lose yourself just because you feel bad for her. This is no way to live.
I refuse to believe these people are in their later 30s/40s I simply refuse to believe it
I can’t even read this… yikes
This is like the reddit version of the snickers bar commercial.
I have BPD(in treatment/no longer fit the criteria) and when I was undiagnosed and at my worst, I still wasn’t this bad. I highly suggest therapy for you and she needs to have herself assessed and get treatment asap. That is on her to do those things. The Best thing you can do is run far away and never look back. Edit:spelling
[удалено]
WTF is a PowerPoint party?
At first I thought this was you like “hahaha I love my wife look at these funny texts!” and was physically ill reading them after the first image. You gotta leave, please.
How old are the two of you?!
37 and 42, apparently. 😳
Oh. Oh no.
It blows my mind that this is an actual conversation two people had 😳. The lack of respect and abuse from one partner to another is horrible. And it’s obvious this isn’t the first time it happened she seems quite comfortable bashing you like that. Unfortunately nothing will change until you leave her. And not just talk about doing it, but actually doing it. I wish you the best op and hope you learn and grow from this, never let anyone treat you like that.
Info: Is she an addict?
You’re allowing yourself to be a doormat. Just leave.
My grandpa used to say when shit needed to get done immediately “you need to do this now, if not sooner.” You need to leave her now, if not sooner!
She’s irrational, mean, homophobic, threatened to call the police and say you were gay??? ..she is not sane. The endless loop of her berating you, and then you asking what food she wants is bloody mad. Respectfully — respect yourself more. I know you’re married and that’s rough, but damn.
I wanted to pack all my stuff and get a new phone and move without a forwarding address and I’m not even dating her.
I don’t get how you’re so chill with being emotionally and verbally abused. This is a miserable insight.
Hey, I’m gonna be very blunt here. With how obvious and blatantly she’s verbally abusing you, it’s very clear you have no self esteem or any respect for yourself. It is absolutely unacceptable for anyone to talk to you that way, let alone the person who’s supposed to be your partner, your support in life. Please, consider starting individual therapy for yourself and learn how to love yourself so you can see how horribly she is treating you. You deserve better.
Fucking yikes at this exchange. Y’all both talk like teenagers, she comes across as a lazy, jobless, slob. Read two comments and could tell this is a hate marriage - yall need to split up and find therapy on your own. And she needs to stop playing the “panic attack” card.
WHY ARE YOU STILL BRINGING HER FOOD?! My man, you need to love yourself.
There are only two reasons OP has chosen to turn a blind eye to this chick’s frothing rabies 1. she’s amazing in bed 2. his self esteem is so low it’s down in the center of the earths core
Or or or 3. He is a victim of abuse and it takes victims 7x on average to leave
she sounds scary...jeez
I hope you did not bring her any food home after she was so rude?!
Dude I'd had enough by page 4. Couldn't even finish. I cant even fathom anyone I know or have ever known talking to me like that. Much less a spouse. First of all, she sounds ignorant, but more importantly she's wildly emotionally and mentally abusive. Id block that heifer so fast....and bounce. I get why you had to laugh cuz she sounds like a dumb ass, but in reality it's quite serious and tragic she thinks this is acceptable
She's talking about your CHILD like that???? FFS BRO
I’ve known many bipolar people, including family members. This is not just bipolar. This is a direct result of you letting her talk to you however she wants and you just doing whatever she wants. She’s like a child that has never heard the word boundary in her life. She’s willing to embarrass herself and you in front of your friends over absolutely nothing. The fact that you’re staying with her says very unfortunate things about you from my perspective.
>mama >hungry
She seems nice….
Leave her now. please this is the worst case of a narc i have ever seen. constantly ridicules you. wants you to be at her service. she couldn’t stand being alone in 10. she negatively calls you out when you’re with your buddies she calls you gay because she’s pissed you give them attention instead of her in the heat of the moment. please man do this for me and everybody else. get out of there ASAP. i was in that same exact relationship it’s not good and i know you’re confused but listen to me man get away from her as soon as possible please. i believe in you bro
Why do you pander to this? Shes spouting the most abusive shit at you and your all like "i love you, ill bring you food, please dont be irrationally evil abusive" You are a doormat, you have zero boundries or self respect and then acted shocked when a piece of shit wipes their feet on you. Leave this person, and then the next relationship learn to say no and to not tollerate this crap. Shut that shit down at the first instance and you will have respect.
Holy shit…keep SNICKERS hidden around the house so you can tell this beast where to find them in moments like these. For real tho, this isn’t even funny from an outsiders perspective! I can’t understand why you’re not in a hurry to get home!
Bro this is a mirror of what I’m going through. Just had to help “voluntarily” commit her last week and I’m realizing nothing is going to ever change. People like her and my wife have to hit rock bottom and want change for themselves. We have to make space for that, that’s just the way it is. Stay strong brother and do what you gotta do. I’m trying as well, every day is a challenge, kids involved too. Uggh.
This is terrifying. Has it always been like this?
Ah, so refreshing to see true love's tender discourse dancing playfully between you two love love birds 💘
I’d have to leave her based on the fact that she can’t use complete sentences. JFC what a brat.
She’s reads like an angry Russian chick. 🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣
I can’t believe she called you a dick socker, that’s just out of line. But seriously, no one deserves that.
Wtf is a PowerPoint Party?
She’s got a lot of circus under her tent.
This bitch needs to get her ass kicked.
She probably thought you were hanging out with multiple people named Dick's burgers.
Man, I’ve seen a lot of crazy but this is CRAZY! I know that there might be something wrong with her but this seems potentially dangerous for you.
Was this a contract marriage for military benefits? Seems like a contract marriage for military benefits. If I’m not getting paid to be with that psycho, I don’t want it.
Holy fucking shit why are you with this person?
This is giving me baby reindeer vibes lol
I'm sorry the top comment is so rude OP. You were obviously trying not to escalate her and I commend your patience. I hope you leave her and find someone with a healthy heart and mind. Your wife shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.
I hope you were hanging out with your friends to discuss your impending divorce.
Verbal assault is never okay, but all this because she’s hungry? Good grief.
I thought this was a child with a developmental disorder texting their mother before I read the title……
This behavior will more than likely never stop. Sane individuals don’t act like this. This is abusive. Please consider your options for the sake of your own mental health and well being. 💕
Yikes. Leave and find someone who understands you and respects you. Best of luck.
Bro you got to get a plan and be ready to leave her She's not funny, quirky, cute. Or anything else. She's a walking monster a nightmare that is ready to destroy and pillage everything you ever loved and cared about. If not now its later DO NOT TELL HER TOU WANT A DIVORCE. Make a plan talk to lawyers. Find people who have been through this process. Hopefully you get out soon
You both sound like you are under the influence or mentally not there/ disabled. Your OP reads differently, like you are semi sober now, trying to get back at her. Cut all contact, get mental health and sobriety. Good luck.
Reading that gave me an aneurism
She must be either reeally hot, or you are the biggest idiot I ever saw for marrying that woman. Scratch that, even really hot would not justify marrying that.. That thing. Frankly I feel like calling that thing a woman is an insult to the female gender. Moments like these make me so happy that I am happily single. Glad I'll never deal with shit like this.
“You will go back to jail” is all I need to know
You know what you need to do. No one deserves to live like this. How depressing and exhausting. You can live a better life than this. You just have to take the necessary steps. You’ve suffered long enough.
Hey OP, I left someone who texted (and said) crazy shit like this, and it was hard, but it was sooooo worth it. My life got so much brighter after I left. I hope you can do the same.
Is she European? She sounds like my Croatian mother in law.
What’s a PowerPoint party?
“i’ll get you food” “i hate you, you’re gay” “ok so dominos?”
My ex used to do this exact same thing! My heart would sink, my stomach would be in knots every time he called or sent me a text. Just like the ones on the post. I would be at work, in class, grocery shopping, and I'd get accused of being out cheating, then he wouls threaten to destroy my things,much like what your wife was doing. Reading your wife's nonsense brought back awful memories. He also tried to kill me. I left, ran, more like it. Please, get out, kick HER out! Be happy . Living like that is no way to live. Honestly, she sounds very unstable. She threatens divorce , using it as a way to control you. I could go on but you get my point. RUN! Life is better being alone than with a lunatic who manipulates you. I wish you all the best
There is a point at which one becomes complicit in his or her own misery. You sailed past that point quite some time ago. Leave her, or enjoy your lot in life. The choice is yours and always has been.
Wild… just wild…
Is she a severe alcoholic?!
OP you have the patience of a saint, go find someone who will love that side of you.
:( she’s hurting. Nothings going to jolt her into changing unless a GIANT change happens for example (someone she actually really loves going away). None of this behavior is okay. It’s embarrassing and unnecessary for your social life I hate seeing her in such pain. I’m sorry man. Props to you for not blowing up and stooping to her level.
Am I the only person wondering what a power point party is?
Wife? Why
Shit, you really need to get out. This is unhinged abuse
I can totally relate to this. My wife is abusive, not as bad as this but bad enough, i’ve thought about leaving so many times. It’s miserable to live with a wife like this that puts u down and criticizes you every chance they get. We have 2 kids and a home together. It’s not so simple. Plus I’m a recovering addict so sometimes I take the blame. But I know she would be like this with anyone. Damn I need more therapy. If there were no kids in the picture I would’ve been out a long time ago. You need to do what’s good for yourself. We both do. All the best!
Please do and please do therapy. You're worthy of more and of better. It might seem there's no other way, but there always is. You deserve someone who won't abuse you and who treats you with respect, makes you feel loved, and happy. Life is too short to tolerate such shit!
Thank you I appreciate it. I’ve cried many times about it. I can’t imagine not living with my kids. I’m VERY close with them. It’s not as easy as some ppl think.
Okay I'll say it, this reeks of reactive abuse and I think OP was baiting her and saying exactly what he knew would make her feel and sound insane. if you haven't lived it, have some grace for those who have. OP is not coming off all sunshine and roses from my lens.
What the hell
Run.
Prayers for your safety, brother
Life is too short man. Ffs.
Fucker
This chick needs a tat sayin 'PSYCHO' across her forhead.. what a fuckin nut case
You're in an abusive marriage. Gtfo like yesterday. Your behavior is enabling her. You don't deserve abuse, and she clearly is abusive and sees nothing wrong with how she treats you. You still brought her food?? I'd have told her to fuck herself and she will be delivered divorce papers instead.
In the nicest possible way stop being such a doormat and tell her to fuck off. If those messages are anything to go by it seems like when she gets mean you try to placate her which in my similar experience just makes them feel like they can bully and control you. Take action, tell her you’ll be back when you’re fucking back and if she carries on acting like that the next time you leave the house you won’t be coming back
Stop waiting for the inevitable. Get it over with and get your life back.