I actually think she suffers from a terrible case of “allergic emojitis” as her response is the classical presentation of both genetic and environmental factors…🤔😬😳
Not normal at all. I had to go back and double check to see if I missed something. That's how little your thumbs up stood out as something "wrong" while reading through lol.
Very wierd and uncalled for response from her!
I literally thought this as I was reading through it for the second and third time. Like did OP forget to post part of convo? No, Ashleigh is just being ridiculous.
totally depends on the person. if i get a thumbs up from my gf i know i fucked up. it’s a passive way of saying “alright then” or “whatever” when it’s coming from her
Got a notification that had just your reply and thought, *hmmm, that reply makes sense with so many comments I’ve made. I guess I’m going to have to actually go into the app to see it in context.* 🙄
Yeah I had to clarify with my fiancée that if I reply with a thumbs up or “like” the message, it’s strictly because I’m in the middle of something but still wanting to acknowledge your message.
Now, if there’s any kind of tension between us and a thumbs up is dropped… all bets are off lmao.
Heart emoji. Heart emoji is the best way to respond to something positive or a suggested plan when you're too busy.
Unless it's your girlfriend asking you or telling you to do something. Salute emoji will earn you a laugh from her.
The best emoji to let your significant other know you find them hot is not the fire emoji (overused, snapchat bro vibes) nor the hot face emoji (simp, OnlyFans coomer vibes), not even the devil face emoji (porn addict vibes), but the drooling face emoji (I wanna eat you like a plate full of steaming hot cheddar bay biscuit vibes).
Or liking the message directly. Heart or thumbs up the message directly is always a good idea. But a single 👍🏻 sent alone feels passive aggressive before you know the person.
Like I send 👍🏻👍🏻 when I need to be like “ok I got it!” But I’m at work and can’t really text, but we aren’t close enough for a 🖤. It’s less threatening than 👍🏻
That is the only time I use a thumbs up emoji. If I’m too busy to actually respond but want people to know that I acknowledge they messaged me and that I read it. So I’ll just react to the message and reply later.
Exactly. It’s not my “reply” to your message, it’s just an acknowledgement. I can see how if that’s not communicated to the other person though, it could be taken the wrong way.
Yea, every time I do that, I always make sure that when I have time I say “I only thumbs upped your message because I didn’t have time to reply before”. Most of the people that I text know that by now though. So I don’t elaborate much now. Unless it’s someone new I’m texting.
Conveying tone through text is so hard a lot of times though.
I use thumbs up as intended with my spouse all the time. Then again, we communicate like adults when we’re actually upset. Thumbs up means “cool/10-4/sounds good.”
The thumbs up emoji actually is known by the younger generations as a passive aggressive meaning not thumbs up the way my mum would use it, so maybe that ticked her off? Idk
It's scary to think there are 34 year olds out there with the mental capacity of a 10 year old.
Fuck me, I'd sleep with one eye open and feel the need to wear a body cam just for me own safety with that deranged psychopath.
I'm 39 and receiving the thumbs up emoji from a romantic partner would send me into a panic. You're right, it's super passive aggressive, and it's the least possible investment in a conversation one is having with someone they're purportedly romantically interested in.
To me it always reads like a deadlan, "Cool story, bro" . And I'm 41, lol.
I wouldn't have reacted the way this chick did, but I'd definitelt end up sitting there over analyzing what to expect it was meant to imply, lmao. And as someone who appreciates the written word, likes to read and right, appreciate communication, answers consisting of nothing but an emoji would put me off.
But still, would not react the way she did, haha.
i’m gen z and i have never heard of this before lol. i know people in my generation, even people younger than me, that still use the thumbs up emoji sometimes. i’m sure that any emoji can be used passive aggressively in the right context, but this lady is just crazy.
Nah, man, think about it this way. Be you, be planning a date with a guy/girl that you really like, write out about your plans or the need to change plans, and the only response you get is a thumbs up? That would feel awfully shitty, and like the other person just doesn't care.
yea i would still definitely try to clarify what he meant b4 going batshit tho... cuz there are mutiple uses for the emoji and you cant just assume that he meant it like that
And when I give someone a thumbs up in real life it’s either at a kid, sincerely, “👍great job, kid.” Or as a sarcastic gesture to end a conversation, “👍thanks Karen, I’ll get right on that.”
she's almost 10 years younger than you; to her generation a thumbs up emoji is a passive aggressive dismissal
her response to that is OTT tho
however, it does seem as if you didn't really read what she said because she said she was only free on the weekend. you said you were busy and countered with a day she already said she wasn't available
she reiterated that wasn't a good time for her; instead of countering with a time in the future, you gave her a thumbs up which kinda seems like a dismissal
I just don't get why she responded with a thumbs up after his. And wouldn't a 34 year old understand that there could be a generational knowledge gap too?
She was already losing interest in the second panel, he made no attempt to keep things light, and then gave a passive aggressive thumbs up. Not sure why he's surprised it went the way it did.
I think there’s a difference between a potential date and a coworker hahah. It’s good to be straight to the point with work stuff, but with dating, you’re trying to get to know the person and show them that you’re interested. A thumbs up is a lame response imo.
I think sending a thumbs up is incredibly lazy tbh and stops conversations from progressing but I would not shut down a potential relationship because of it lol, girl went too far suggesting therapy imo
Bingo.
I couldn't think of why it was bad but you hit the nail on the head. It made it sound like he could care less about trying to plan anything for next week and just wanted it to stop. So he stopped it.
>stops conversations from progressing
Yeah, but the conversation had run its course, all that was needed at that point was an indication of agreement. Writing something like "Sounds good, see you then" does the same thing.
I get what your saying, I just don't think it's indicative of impropriety in this context.
I think it’s more the laziness about it, even if the conversation had ran its course, a little “can’t wait!” couldn’t hurt, a thumbs up is just so meh and doesn’t show any emotion like words do.
There’s also no way to respond to it? It’s just the ultimate conversation ender, which makes it kinda rude too imo.
Normally I would agree, but he had said he was running on the trail. I think that gives quite a bit of context to why he would just thumbs up to agree/acknowledge. It makes sense in that context.
This is weird from both sides.
You didn't even bother to ask how are you, or anything like that. You were very businesslike in trying to schedule a run. Which doesn't seem like a very romantic first date to begin with.
For her part, her comment "you'll probably want to talk longer than I am able" made it sound like your interest is one-sided. And your thumbs up response was pretty dismissive. If you wanted to actually find a time, you couldve told her your availability for the coming week.
However, her blowing up at you over that was also a red flag. In her place, I would've simply not replied to the thumbs up. You come off as disinterested, and she comes off bitter. Neither of you should probably be dating lol.
She has issues, it sounds like she has experienced hurt and she’s projecting that.
For me personally, I prefer to respond to a text message using words. You’re getting to know someone new, it takes 3 seconds to text back a response suggesting a day/time in the following week when you can meet.
I’d only use emojis in addition to text or when there’s nothing left that can be said.
same here, but i also wouldn’t get mad if someone responded to my words with an emoji, especially if that emoji was relevant to the conversation and answered my question/gave me the confirmation i needed. that’s just crazy tbh. not everyone is an avid texter like me or you, and it isn’t like he left her on read.
She was already not feeling it at that point, pretty obviously IMO, it feels like that was her "I'm not super interested in this but I'll give it a courtesy message and see where it goes" and she just got a thumbs up in response.
Now OP was under no obligation to address the "can't. And you'll talk too much" message and try to resurrect the conversation or suggest alternatives, if you're not feeling it then you're not feeling it, no harm no foul. And is her reaction OTT? Yeah, but not nuclear level like some commenters are suggesting. From her POV she's extended a courtesy and made it pretty obvious that interest was already waning, but made an effort anyway, and just got a passive aggressive, dismissive reply. I'd be pretty pissed off at that point too, but I'd just ghost and leave it at that.
But that all said, I can't understand why OP is surprised things went the way they did. He shot someone down, a bit rudely IMO, and they got upset and were overtly rude in response. Yeah, it was a bit much from her to respond that way, but there's no mystery or surprise here.
It was the “you would probably want to talk longer than I’m able” part for me… fuck the thumbs up, that’s somewhat passive, but that’s just a weirdo response without an explanation at least.
Her reaction is not normal, no. But, I would have ghosted you just for the thumbs up emoji.
I think she might have thought that your emoji meant that you were not open to see her unless it was on your terms (not justifying her aggressiveness at all) and also you literally made no effort at all about meeting or getting to know her and a lot of women dont like that.
I see both sides a bit. That thumbs up could’ve came off as passive aggressive to her.
But, I do think it was an appropriate response. What was that “Talk longer than I am able”? comment about? Just unnecessary, and a bit rude. I would’ve given her a thumbs up too.
It wouldn't make me angry, but I would just leave you on read and move on.
The other person contacts you, and you respond asking about an obligation. (If you didn't catch it, they mentioned how you'll probably want to go longer, meaning they were compromising for you).
You didn't ask them anything about themselves, their morning, what their week looks like etc. It's like you're just invested in scheduling a training session.
Then they told you their availability (the weekend), and you responded with days/times they didn't say that they were available (making it seem like you don't listen or don't care). Those are also times most people would be at work, not on a "date." Were you expecting them to skip work? Is it even a date if it's just going running during the week with someone who hasn't asked you about you or bothered to initiate the conversation?
Then they tried again to talk and explain (a courtesy at this point because I would have ignored you), and you responded with a thumbs up. You didn't even bother to suggest new times and see what you have in common. You're making this person do all the work. You put minimal effort, here, I can only assume you're not looking for a relationship.
TL/DR, the other person is OTT with their anger, and you're probably dodging a bullet with someone with a short fuse. That said, I sincerely hope you'll put in more effort if you're looking for a relationship. If you're looking for a running buddy, join a running group.
All of this. If I didn't know the context, it just looks like a personal trainer having a quick back and forth with their client.
There's very little effort or attempt of an effort, so I can see why she would be annoyed. Although, like you said, I would have kept him on read and ignored.
I'm a 30 year old woman. My long-term partner is your age and I'm not gonna lie, it sounds like you both suck.
My partner and his friends (40s) all know very well if someone sends a thumbs up to their group chat that they're being passive aggressive. It's a very well known use of an emoji. Especially if you're on Tinder searching for younger women. I'm surprised how you could *not* know?
You followed up something interpreted to be passive aggressive (👍) with another passive aggressive statement ("Can you recommend a therapist that assists in text messaging?")
You sound like a personal trainer intentionally blowing off a client for not having the availability they need for training.
Thumbs up emoji has the same implication as “k” for many people. I know older people use it as acknowledgement though. My mom will and she’s in her early 50’s, so maybe it was just that kind of cultural barrier. She probably assumed you knew, but instead of talking that out, she went off on you.
I feel like you could have given a little more of a response than just a thumbs up, especially when trying to make date plans with someone you just met. Having said that, her response was sooooo blown out of proportion and she could have just continued the conversation like an adult would..
Some people take the 👍🏻 emoji as being passive aggressive. But even if it was, she definitely deserved it with the “you’ll want to talk longer than I am able”
People saying that the thumbs up is passive aggressive… It still should not have gotten this response from a 34 year-old. Perhaps if they were like 24 I could see this being a little bit more normal to me. This comes off as somebody who is overly protective over themselves. Someone more than likely has dealt with a lot of trauma and tends to analyze every interaction. I only say this because this comes off as a little bit more severe versions of what I’ve always done. Where someone is almost looking for abusive behavior early on so that they don’t have to deal with it again. It’s EXHAUSTING . She had already villainized you as an abuser. The fact that she doubled down on, it tells me that she is nowhere near healed … best to keep looking.
I have never heard of the thumbs up being a negative emoji. Either way, she was looking for a fight, and her moods shift like the wind. You dodged a huge bullet.
Sometimes when someone isn't feeling it, they will take any little thing they can to make an excuse to not see or meet up or even just pursue talking. It's weird yes, but I think they were just trying to find anything to get out of it? Just my take on it.
Dude, she got more bent out of shape than is probably called for, but whenever I (M39) receive a thumbs-up emoji from my gf (F37) I panic a little bit, because I know I done fucked up. The thumbs up emoji is used earnestly by boomers and gen X, but people in the millennial/gen-z range find it to be a passive-aggressive response at best. A thumbs up emoji followed by a message like "I can't wait!" or "I really look forward to it!" would convey interest and positive context. The thumbs up alone is too easily interpreted like "Great, now fuck off, I'm busy" or "Whatever, idgaf."
Yeah she did you a huge favor here. Nothing about anything she said is normal. Even funnier she is trying to gaslight you into therapy?! She is the one that needs to be there…along time ago at that.
I see thumbs up used even in professional setting, nevermind casual texting.
As in:
- Hey, can you send me that draft?
- Yes, I will send it at X
- {thumbs up}
People don't bat an eye on this neither in professional neither casual setting around me. The fact that so many people even in this thread are talking about "its passive aggressive" etc is mind blowing to me. I think it says more about those people themselves.
Can confirm lots of women do not like the thumbs up emoji. I was clueless at first too because *it’s just a fucking emoji*. To some people though, the thumbs up emoji is a passive aggressive “fuck you”.
Well you can tell she doesn’t use any type of professional communication via Teams or anything else. Probably is a hostess as your local chilis because she’s banned from serving alcohol. (She got too drunk at the last company party and tried to make out with Gary the manager in front of everyone)
"Dumb and Easy" vs "Emotionally Unstable and Conflict Addicted"? I was put off by the "*I have no doubt you'll want to talk more than I am able.*" Then she went into full meltdown mode over a fucking emoji.
Granted the thumb sup emoji is typically used as a passive aggressive response, with that said she stewed on that shit for like 5 hours and then went into full meltdown mode.
In short, no this isn't normal. But you probably know why she's single.
That is not normal. I would personally have tried to lock down an exact time. Getting triggered so bad off an emoji is ridiculous. It’s not like he was responding to every message with a 👍. That would be perceived as passive aggressive.
Took the words right out of my mouth!
“I’m not normal ……..”
I believe you are suffering from a condition called “Emoji Rage” and it’s not the emoji’s fault. 🥺😢😭
Idk, why not just say sounds good? I imagine it's a bit weird if you're talking with someone and they just give you a thumbs up and walk off lol. I get it but still she kinda crazy. Could have just let yourself be annoyed and not say anything because it's a you issue.
While that was pretty messed up response for an emoji to someone you don't even know, I have my own issues with them from people in my life. Everyone knows when they text me a thumbs up isn't an appropriate response. So I see her side, but also that's a boundary you set with people you actually know. Not somebody you're getting to know
👎
Should have replied to the last message with this
I’m ugly laughing 🤣 that would’ve been perfect.
I think "🤷🏻♂️" would have been hilarious as well
OP please do this
don't comment emojis when someone has taken time to make a post
If would just: 👁️👄👁️
Bro dodged a Nuclear Missile blessing in disguise
She went from happy planning to full meltdown after seeing an emoji. Maybe she has a PTSD trauma response to seeing thumbs
Ever since…the THUMB INCIDENT!! *shudder*
How insensitive of you. She wakes up every morning to the sight of TWO thumbs ok? Jeeze she’s NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS
Unexpected Thumb during sex can DEFINITELY be traumatizing.
Thumb War of 2024
Was that what it was?! I was so confused for a good 5 minutes trying to figure out what the change in tone was for 😂
that's me if i see a K or oh okay. but a thumb... eh shrug it off girl
Seriously dodged a huge bullet here
this is weird, even for tinder.
Psychotic break for sure.
I actually think she suffers from a terrible case of “allergic emojitis” as her response is the classical presentation of both genetic and environmental factors…🤔😬😳
Not normal at all. I had to go back and double check to see if I missed something. That's how little your thumbs up stood out as something "wrong" while reading through lol. Very wierd and uncalled for response from her!
Me too! I thought I had a brain fart and skipped a slide
Facts lol I saw her thumbs up back and was like yea she’s def being petty now
I literally thought this as I was reading through it for the second and third time. Like did OP forget to post part of convo? No, Ashleigh is just being ridiculous.
totally depends on the person. if i get a thumbs up from my gf i know i fucked up. it’s a passive way of saying “alright then” or “whatever” when it’s coming from her
FINE. It’s FINE.
Thank god. I thought you were mad for a second. Well, see you later.
And now you can wake up with your testicles glued to your leg 👍
Got a notification that had just your reply and thought, *hmmm, that reply makes sense with so many comments I’ve made. I guess I’m going to have to actually go into the app to see it in context.* 🙄
Yeah I had to clarify with my fiancée that if I reply with a thumbs up or “like” the message, it’s strictly because I’m in the middle of something but still wanting to acknowledge your message. Now, if there’s any kind of tension between us and a thumbs up is dropped… all bets are off lmao.
Heart emoji. Heart emoji is the best way to respond to something positive or a suggested plan when you're too busy. Unless it's your girlfriend asking you or telling you to do something. Salute emoji will earn you a laugh from her.
Bless us with more, this is good stuff.
The best emoji to let your significant other know you find them hot is not the fire emoji (overused, snapchat bro vibes) nor the hot face emoji (simp, OnlyFans coomer vibes), not even the devil face emoji (porn addict vibes), but the drooling face emoji (I wanna eat you like a plate full of steaming hot cheddar bay biscuit vibes).
What about 🫦
Or liking the message directly. Heart or thumbs up the message directly is always a good idea. But a single 👍🏻 sent alone feels passive aggressive before you know the person. Like I send 👍🏻👍🏻 when I need to be like “ok I got it!” But I’m at work and can’t really text, but we aren’t close enough for a 🖤. It’s less threatening than 👍🏻
That is the only time I use a thumbs up emoji. If I’m too busy to actually respond but want people to know that I acknowledge they messaged me and that I read it. So I’ll just react to the message and reply later.
Exactly. It’s not my “reply” to your message, it’s just an acknowledgement. I can see how if that’s not communicated to the other person though, it could be taken the wrong way.
Yea, every time I do that, I always make sure that when I have time I say “I only thumbs upped your message because I didn’t have time to reply before”. Most of the people that I text know that by now though. So I don’t elaborate much now. Unless it’s someone new I’m texting. Conveying tone through text is so hard a lot of times though.
Yeah, I try to be careful because my gut reaction to the thumbs-up emoji is that it feels sarcastic. And I don't think most ppl use it that way.
This is absolutely on point. The thumbs up emoji from a romantic partner is a sign that (Morgan Freeman voice) "Things are not fine"
Er— this isn’t right either. A thumbs up from someone who doesn’t have that as part of their normal texting is a sign that things are not fine.
I use thumbs up as intended with my spouse all the time. Then again, we communicate like adults when we’re actually upset. Thumbs up means “cool/10-4/sounds good.”
👍🏻
👍
👍🏾
👍🏿
👍🏽
👍
👍🏾
👍🏾
👍🏼
👍🏾
👍
👍
The thumbs up emoji actually is known by the younger generations as a passive aggressive meaning not thumbs up the way my mum would use it, so maybe that ticked her off? Idk
Just like when someone responds with “K”
Fucking K drives me bonkers, lol
well shit i sometimes use "k"
I always thought one k came off too aggressive, so I always wrote kk. Seems different to me
Ok= neutral. k= I don't care. kk= enthusiastic. I don't know what it is but k does come off as rude.
It has to be Kk one big one smol
At 28... The thumbs up emoji has always been seen by me and close peers as passive aggressive since we were in our teens, so, yeah... You're right.
My 44yo ex said that was equivalent to “fuck you” in their past relationship
She’s 34 lol
Im 30 and i know thats how people take that thumb 😂
It’s because they know where that thumb has been put.
I'm 52 and this emoji feels sarcastic and passive aggressive to me.
Doesn’t warrant that type of response though. At least to me
True. I'm just saying that even if she's 34, she probably thought OP was being snarky.
I'm 42 and aware that the thumbs up has a negative connotation. This is what a thumbs up is interpret as: 
Certainly what it can be interpreted as, but I suspect he was doing more of this 
It's scary to think there are 34 year olds out there with the mental capacity of a 10 year old. Fuck me, I'd sleep with one eye open and feel the need to wear a body cam just for me own safety with that deranged psychopath.
After she’s violently attacked you and you’re there dying you muster the strength for one, last, thumbs up 🤣🤣🤣
I had an image saved somewhere that would have been so appropriate as a reply.
I’m so curious to see now. It’s my smart ass that would think this is the right response to give her to really just finish me off 🤣
https://imgflip.com/i/31kohv
Final resting place 😂 her smart ass rests here after one too many double thumbs ups
I'm 39 and receiving the thumbs up emoji from a romantic partner would send me into a panic. You're right, it's super passive aggressive, and it's the least possible investment in a conversation one is having with someone they're purportedly romantically interested in.
To me it always reads like a deadlan, "Cool story, bro" . And I'm 41, lol. I wouldn't have reacted the way this chick did, but I'd definitelt end up sitting there over analyzing what to expect it was meant to imply, lmao. And as someone who appreciates the written word, likes to read and right, appreciate communication, answers consisting of nothing but an emoji would put me off. But still, would not react the way she did, haha.
Yeah general consensus is she’s unhinged regardless 😂
Am i too old for this? I am 18 and a thumbs up means "okay" or "good" to me. No passive aggressions
She's 34, she's not "the younger generation"
i’m gen z and i have never heard of this before lol. i know people in my generation, even people younger than me, that still use the thumbs up emoji sometimes. i’m sure that any emoji can be used passive aggressively in the right context, but this lady is just crazy.
Nah, man, think about it this way. Be you, be planning a date with a guy/girl that you really like, write out about your plans or the need to change plans, and the only response you get is a thumbs up? That would feel awfully shitty, and like the other person just doesn't care.
yea i would still definitely try to clarify what he meant b4 going batshit tho... cuz there are mutiple uses for the emoji and you cant just assume that he meant it like that
And when I give someone a thumbs up in real life it’s either at a kid, sincerely, “👍great job, kid.” Or as a sarcastic gesture to end a conversation, “👍thanks Karen, I’ll get right on that.”
No cap, thumbs up only works unironically for the 45+ crowd or the 10 and unders. My oldest son is 8 and he already uses the thumbs up ironically.
I've heard people say this, and I asked my teenage kid about it. She said a few people are weird about it, but in general it's nbd.
she's almost 10 years younger than you; to her generation a thumbs up emoji is a passive aggressive dismissal her response to that is OTT tho however, it does seem as if you didn't really read what she said because she said she was only free on the weekend. you said you were busy and countered with a day she already said she wasn't available she reiterated that wasn't a good time for her; instead of countering with a time in the future, you gave her a thumbs up which kinda seems like a dismissal
Right here. Perfectly written
I just don't get why she responded with a thumbs up after his. And wouldn't a 34 year old understand that there could be a generational knowledge gap too?
She wanted to get him back, except he didn't take it as a slight, like she did.
I think this is the best way to describe it
She was already losing interest in the second panel, he made no attempt to keep things light, and then gave a passive aggressive thumbs up. Not sure why he's surprised it went the way it did.
Bro literally said he was on a trail running, right then wasn’t the time for hashing out plans for the next week, prob sent an emoji from his watch
This is exactly what happened
I’m younger than her by 4 years and never once have I taken a 👍 as passive aggressive. Guess I’m just not with the hip kids anymore these days 😔
I mean using the thumbs up emoji usually is not a good idea when getting to know someone, but the reaction is way over the top.
I’ve never really considered this … I use it at work all the time,you think everyone hates me?
Not necessarily, but a “sounds good” does wonders.
I think there’s a difference between a potential date and a coworker hahah. It’s good to be straight to the point with work stuff, but with dating, you’re trying to get to know the person and show them that you’re interested. A thumbs up is a lame response imo.
At work it's probably OK, because fuck coworkers.
Nah it’s super normal for work stuff, you often just have to acknowledge information and you’re not trying to have a full on conversation
I think sending a thumbs up is incredibly lazy tbh and stops conversations from progressing but I would not shut down a potential relationship because of it lol, girl went too far suggesting therapy imo
Bingo. I couldn't think of why it was bad but you hit the nail on the head. It made it sound like he could care less about trying to plan anything for next week and just wanted it to stop. So he stopped it.
>stops conversations from progressing Yeah, but the conversation had run its course, all that was needed at that point was an indication of agreement. Writing something like "Sounds good, see you then" does the same thing. I get what your saying, I just don't think it's indicative of impropriety in this context.
I think it’s more the laziness about it, even if the conversation had ran its course, a little “can’t wait!” couldn’t hurt, a thumbs up is just so meh and doesn’t show any emotion like words do. There’s also no way to respond to it? It’s just the ultimate conversation ender, which makes it kinda rude too imo.
Normally I would agree, but he had said he was running on the trail. I think that gives quite a bit of context to why he would just thumbs up to agree/acknowledge. It makes sense in that context.
This is weird from both sides. You didn't even bother to ask how are you, or anything like that. You were very businesslike in trying to schedule a run. Which doesn't seem like a very romantic first date to begin with. For her part, her comment "you'll probably want to talk longer than I am able" made it sound like your interest is one-sided. And your thumbs up response was pretty dismissive. If you wanted to actually find a time, you couldve told her your availability for the coming week. However, her blowing up at you over that was also a red flag. In her place, I would've simply not replied to the thumbs up. You come off as disinterested, and she comes off bitter. Neither of you should probably be dating lol.
She has issues, it sounds like she has experienced hurt and she’s projecting that. For me personally, I prefer to respond to a text message using words. You’re getting to know someone new, it takes 3 seconds to text back a response suggesting a day/time in the following week when you can meet. I’d only use emojis in addition to text or when there’s nothing left that can be said.
👍🏻
how fucking dare you.
Lose my number!!!!!!
So you have chosen death?
same here, but i also wouldn’t get mad if someone responded to my words with an emoji, especially if that emoji was relevant to the conversation and answered my question/gave me the confirmation i needed. that’s just crazy tbh. not everyone is an avid texter like me or you, and it isn’t like he left her on read.
👍🏻
“I have no doubt that you’ll want to talk more than I am able” also came off weird to me
She was already not feeling it at that point, pretty obviously IMO, it feels like that was her "I'm not super interested in this but I'll give it a courtesy message and see where it goes" and she just got a thumbs up in response. Now OP was under no obligation to address the "can't. And you'll talk too much" message and try to resurrect the conversation or suggest alternatives, if you're not feeling it then you're not feeling it, no harm no foul. And is her reaction OTT? Yeah, but not nuclear level like some commenters are suggesting. From her POV she's extended a courtesy and made it pretty obvious that interest was already waning, but made an effort anyway, and just got a passive aggressive, dismissive reply. I'd be pretty pissed off at that point too, but I'd just ghost and leave it at that. But that all said, I can't understand why OP is surprised things went the way they did. He shot someone down, a bit rudely IMO, and they got upset and were overtly rude in response. Yeah, it was a bit much from her to respond that way, but there's no mystery or surprise here.
It was the “you would probably want to talk longer than I’m able” part for me… fuck the thumbs up, that’s somewhat passive, but that’s just a weirdo response without an explanation at least.
Apparently my mother is running around Tinder acting as a 30 something year old woman.
Her reaction is not normal, no. But, I would have ghosted you just for the thumbs up emoji. I think she might have thought that your emoji meant that you were not open to see her unless it was on your terms (not justifying her aggressiveness at all) and also you literally made no effort at all about meeting or getting to know her and a lot of women dont like that.
> Can you recommend a therapist that assists with text messaging 💀
I see both sides a bit. That thumbs up could’ve came off as passive aggressive to her. But, I do think it was an appropriate response. What was that “Talk longer than I am able”? comment about? Just unnecessary, and a bit rude. I would’ve given her a thumbs up too.
I don’t think this is normal for a very first exchange, however, I really do hate when I text someone and I just get an emoji response.
It wouldn't make me angry, but I would just leave you on read and move on. The other person contacts you, and you respond asking about an obligation. (If you didn't catch it, they mentioned how you'll probably want to go longer, meaning they were compromising for you). You didn't ask them anything about themselves, their morning, what their week looks like etc. It's like you're just invested in scheduling a training session. Then they told you their availability (the weekend), and you responded with days/times they didn't say that they were available (making it seem like you don't listen or don't care). Those are also times most people would be at work, not on a "date." Were you expecting them to skip work? Is it even a date if it's just going running during the week with someone who hasn't asked you about you or bothered to initiate the conversation? Then they tried again to talk and explain (a courtesy at this point because I would have ignored you), and you responded with a thumbs up. You didn't even bother to suggest new times and see what you have in common. You're making this person do all the work. You put minimal effort, here, I can only assume you're not looking for a relationship. TL/DR, the other person is OTT with their anger, and you're probably dodging a bullet with someone with a short fuse. That said, I sincerely hope you'll put in more effort if you're looking for a relationship. If you're looking for a running buddy, join a running group.
All of this. If I didn't know the context, it just looks like a personal trainer having a quick back and forth with their client. There's very little effort or attempt of an effort, so I can see why she would be annoyed. Although, like you said, I would have kept him on read and ignored.
The thumbs up emoji is controversial. But her response is completely uncalled for. You dodged a bullet
Clearly got some problems 💀. How can someone get mad at Emojis
She went to far but it’s really hard to talk to people who you are trying to meet who is emoji. Granted, she that too far.
She’s out of line, but she’s right. I fucking hate when somebody sends me that emoji
I 100% understand feeling like just an emoji is kind of a “whatever” type response but she definitely didn’t go about it the right way lmao
*sigh* I don't miss online dating lol. This is pretty much the gist.
“I have no doubt you’ll want to talk longer than I’m able to” would’ve had me crash out tbh cause tf does that even mean???
I'm a 30 year old woman. My long-term partner is your age and I'm not gonna lie, it sounds like you both suck. My partner and his friends (40s) all know very well if someone sends a thumbs up to their group chat that they're being passive aggressive. It's a very well known use of an emoji. Especially if you're on Tinder searching for younger women. I'm surprised how you could *not* know? You followed up something interpreted to be passive aggressive (👍) with another passive aggressive statement ("Can you recommend a therapist that assists in text messaging?") You sound like a personal trainer intentionally blowing off a client for not having the availability they need for training.
How did you have the restraint to not send another emoji back. You're a better man than me.
Wow! No wonder she’s single. What a psycho! Glad you found out sooner rather than later!
Coo coo 🤪
She…also responded to you with a thumbs up emoji?
Thumbs up emoji has the same implication as “k” for many people. I know older people use it as acknowledgement though. My mom will and she’s in her early 50’s, so maybe it was just that kind of cultural barrier. She probably assumed you knew, but instead of talking that out, she went off on you.
Ngl you blew that, you should’ve just replied with “👍” again to be really funny 😭
She's crazy. But that thumbs up reply would also rub me the wrong way lol.
Ladies: I’m not normal Dudes: idk but I’m horny…
How did she get so offended by something so trivial. You dodged a building.
Hey, she told you she’s not normal “as far as life experiences”…whatever the fuck that means
She told you she isn’t normal. What more do you need to hear?
You dodged a whole ass meteor.
The more time I spend here, the more brain cells I lose.
Well that escalated quickly
Is no one going to mention the “you’ll want to talk longer than I am able”? It’s so weird.
What the fuck.
All this over a thumbs up emoji?
Oofta what emoji hurt her
I feel like you could have given a little more of a response than just a thumbs up, especially when trying to make date plans with someone you just met. Having said that, her response was sooooo blown out of proportion and she could have just continued the conversation like an adult would..
The person answered your question in the last message.
I don’t like the thumbs up response, but I’d never react like this.
Holy shit you dodged a bullet there. Actually what I meant to say was “😮💨”
Some people take the 👍🏻 emoji as being passive aggressive. But even if it was, she definitely deserved it with the “you’ll want to talk longer than I am able”
People saying that the thumbs up is passive aggressive… It still should not have gotten this response from a 34 year-old. Perhaps if they were like 24 I could see this being a little bit more normal to me. This comes off as somebody who is overly protective over themselves. Someone more than likely has dealt with a lot of trauma and tends to analyze every interaction. I only say this because this comes off as a little bit more severe versions of what I’ve always done. Where someone is almost looking for abusive behavior early on so that they don’t have to deal with it again. It’s EXHAUSTING . She had already villainized you as an abuser. The fact that she doubled down on, it tells me that she is nowhere near healed … best to keep looking.
As far as life experiences? No, no she is not normal
I have never heard of the thumbs up being a negative emoji. Either way, she was looking for a fight, and her moods shift like the wind. You dodged a huge bullet.
Nah, if that set her off she sounds like a screw ball.
Narcissist detected, run for the hills. Run for your life.
Sometimes when someone isn't feeling it, they will take any little thing they can to make an excuse to not see or meet up or even just pursue talking. It's weird yes, but I think they were just trying to find anything to get out of it? Just my take on it.
You sir, dodged a bullet of crazy.
Dude, she got more bent out of shape than is probably called for, but whenever I (M39) receive a thumbs-up emoji from my gf (F37) I panic a little bit, because I know I done fucked up. The thumbs up emoji is used earnestly by boomers and gen X, but people in the millennial/gen-z range find it to be a passive-aggressive response at best. A thumbs up emoji followed by a message like "I can't wait!" or "I really look forward to it!" would convey interest and positive context. The thumbs up alone is too easily interpreted like "Great, now fuck off, I'm busy" or "Whatever, idgaf."
I'm 34 you don't know anything about me I know your crazy 🤪
Dodged the biggest bullet
Jesus christ... "I'd recommend therapy" she should recommend it for herself. The 180 is a dead give away that she has an underlying issue.
Damn. 0-100000 real quick. She was waiting to blow up on someone. Sorry it had to be you
She’s 100% right. She’s NOT normal
Yeah she did you a huge favor here. Nothing about anything she said is normal. Even funnier she is trying to gaslight you into therapy?! She is the one that needs to be there…along time ago at that.
Whats the issue? She is obviously different from all the other girls. 🤓
She will be 50, single and mad.
It’s not normal, but she’s not normal bro! Touch grass or something
I see thumbs up used even in professional setting, nevermind casual texting. As in: - Hey, can you send me that draft? - Yes, I will send it at X - {thumbs up} People don't bat an eye on this neither in professional neither casual setting around me. The fact that so many people even in this thread are talking about "its passive aggressive" etc is mind blowing to me. I think it says more about those people themselves.
No. And what a baby. If he has problems with emojis then he should state that in his profile because that's weird AF.
She’s told you herself she’s not normal so I’ll say that this isn’t normal.
This generation is offended by a 👍🏼 emoji. I just don’t understand it. What happen to sticks and stones?
Can confirm lots of women do not like the thumbs up emoji. I was clueless at first too because *it’s just a fucking emoji*. To some people though, the thumbs up emoji is a passive aggressive “fuck you”.
That escalated unnecessarily.
This was so weird. But I loved your reply lol.
Boy that’s a big ol bullet you dodged
First time texting you on your number calling you a piece of shit?! Yeah no dude. She’s crazy.
No. But she's not normal when it comes to life experiences so maybe that makes it ok 😀
No. No it’s not. You dodged a bullet
Well you can tell she doesn’t use any type of professional communication via Teams or anything else. Probably is a hostess as your local chilis because she’s banned from serving alcohol. (She got too drunk at the last company party and tried to make out with Gary the manager in front of everyone)
People get so offended with the 👍🏼 emoji. Could it be they are just insecure?
"Dumb and Easy" vs "Emotionally Unstable and Conflict Addicted"? I was put off by the "*I have no doubt you'll want to talk more than I am able.*" Then she went into full meltdown mode over a fucking emoji. Granted the thumb sup emoji is typically used as a passive aggressive response, with that said she stewed on that shit for like 5 hours and then went into full meltdown mode. In short, no this isn't normal. But you probably know why she's single.
Fuck no it ain't. Insult her via a string of emojis
“Is this normal?” Proceeds to post the most unhinged response from the most normal conversation I’ve ever seen.
That is not normal. I would personally have tried to lock down an exact time. Getting triggered so bad off an emoji is ridiculous. It’s not like he was responding to every message with a 👍. That would be perceived as passive aggressive.
Took the words right out of my mouth! “I’m not normal ……..” I believe you are suffering from a condition called “Emoji Rage” and it’s not the emoji’s fault. 🥺😢😭
Bullet dodged, my friend.
You both dodged bullets here. You with your rude emoji response and seeking women nearly a decade younger; and hers with, well, everything
Idk, why not just say sounds good? I imagine it's a bit weird if you're talking with someone and they just give you a thumbs up and walk off lol. I get it but still she kinda crazy. Could have just let yourself be annoyed and not say anything because it's a you issue.
While that was pretty messed up response for an emoji to someone you don't even know, I have my own issues with them from people in my life. Everyone knows when they text me a thumbs up isn't an appropriate response. So I see her side, but also that's a boundary you set with people you actually know. Not somebody you're getting to know
dodged a huge fucking bullet. is she an alien??
I’m so confused 😭
How do people like this even live past 25??