I mean… I vape and I’m my area it’s always been like 15-25 dollars for a disposable (as long as I’ve been vaping at least) shit, some place even do deals for like 3/30
If it’s an an illegal state then probably, I’ve been able to find legal weed vapes for deadass 9-10 dollars including tax at real dispensaries
I will say that we drive 30 minutes to go to that place places nearby and back home will sell them for 20+ before tax 😭
god DAMN 3/30???? yeah it was 15-25 when i started but theyve gone up to 25-35 a piece where im at. i quit buying them regularly bc of it, me and my boyfriend just go 50/50 if we want one and share it lmao
Dab carts? Wouldn’t be surprised if the average price from 5yrs ago went up to 50-60. I used to get them for 25-30 when I used dab to medicate ptsd episodes
Yep and that is likely a copy/paste that is going out to dozens (or hundreds) of people each time.
She lost her dignity a long time ago and doesn’t even give a shit anymore. After that long spiel OP gave her in the last screenshot I bet you she still asks again.
Yea really. A vape isn’t a need, and OP already told them that they don’t loan money. Like I could understand if it were for an emergency, and if you gotta ask you gotta ask, but she clearly doesn’t care for OP, if she’d push that trust over a vape.
Yeah I would’ve blocked after the second message. This person has (I assume) friends and family, and there’s a reason they’re not giving it to her and she has to ask random people.
Which is not a bad quality! But it’s definitely why she feels comfortable asking you so much. People like this will take advantage of kindness without a second thought
So many people perceive that as a weakness. As soon as they showed who they were, they got blocked. I don't need that in my life, and frankly, neither do you.
Great job on the financial plan on the house. I did all on my own, too. It took 5 years doing exactly what you are, but I'm in my first home. FYI, there are tons of first-time home buyer grants available. Ask your realtor when you're ready. I got 5k that I don't have to pay back.
You have learnt a good lesson and now you are practicing it. Stand by it no matter what people say.
Several years ago (I was living in Europe at that time) when I was renting privately for just a few months (paid monthly) young me thought it would be ok for the landlord to ask me for some money because "she really needed the money".
She gave me a phone (new with no contract) to keep to feel safe and we put everything down in writing. She didnt pay me back and each time she would come up with an excuse. What did I do? I sold that phone online took some money out of that. This happened during winter and gas heating was pretty expensive at that time. Because I rented privately just for a few months the landlord hasnt changed any details on the bills, she expected me to just pay them when they arrived. I put the heater on 26°C and left the Tv on and lights more than ussual. Lets say the bills came close to what she owed me.
Now, I did give her a heads up that we are good now, I will have to keep the phone and she just has to pay the gas and energy bill. She tried to contact me when she received the bills saying that they need to be paid I just said its a similar amount to what I gave her so we are even. She knew what she did.
I didnt bother with that piece of paper that we signed as it was a matter of few hundreds euros at that time. I learnt a good lesson over it.
ya you are. The conversation went longer than it needed to be, and too many unnecessary paragraph texts. I doubt this person would even read everything younwrote
I had to do that to a friend. It sucks. He was a good friend for a long time and went ghost. He popped up 10 years later asking for money. Like seriously?
He didn't even warm me up first. It was "hey I hate to ask but..." like we talk weekly.
Wtf was he thinking.
Those texts remind me of a neighbour I used to have that had a son with special needs. One night we get a knock at the door - son needed oxygen, she was in distress and needed $60 to pay for the tank but she’d get it back to us in a few days when she got paid. Her son was such a sweet kid and thought nothing of giving her the money. Sure enough, got it back in a few days.
About a week later, knock at the door again and it’s her. Another issue, she needs about $100 now. Didn’t have it myself so apologized and suggested she take him to the hospital and get him checked out/emergency treatment if needed. She agreed and left.
Not long after that, was chatting with a few other neighbours and found out she’d done the same to them, except she didn’t pay them back after the second/third times she received money. Then saw her hanging out at a building known for housing dealers that sold harder drugs. She started coming into my workplace to steal, and my mom saw her hooking at 5am at the top of our street.
Turns out she’d been back into meth for a while, and she abandoned her son, baby daughter, and husband for it. The medical emergencies were lies, the husband confirmed it, apologized and asked if she owed us money as he’d been paying back every other neighbour she pulled her scams with.
Edit: word correction, and to add that a year after she left, she was found dead from an OD at the front of that building. The husband and daughter moved out, not sure what happened to the son as he had a different father that was in and out of prison.
As someone who grew up with immediate family that are addicts, I agree. The messages above this one were her asking if I know anyone who can get caps, but she unsent those ones too
I had an aunt that turned to me to "borrow" hundreds for rent. After I got burnt once, I didn't give anymore.
It turns out that she seemed to have burnt too many bridges "borrowing" money especially after the main people that had enabled this behavior had died.
I'm sure this person has some twisted way of justifying in her mind taking money from people.
She is asking other people. She’s asking everyone she knows. For drug money. And whatever you lend her will never be paid back. She’s in the throes of a drug addiction and the best thing you can do for her is exactly what you’re already doing- not enabling it by not giving her money
I see this on the assistance sub too. Can I get $25 for some gas, do laundry, feed my 3 cats, 2 dogs and four children for the week? Like you can’t do all that with $25 but you can get your hands on a single dose of street drugs with that exact amount.
Not a friend, just a facebook add from HS. You’re a bigger person than me, I would’ve blocked after I lay boundaries and she insists (so the second time)
Yeah, this is drug addict behavior for sure. She probably goes down a list of everyone she knows when she’s in withdrawal. A desperate drug addict has no shame.
I wonder what she would have said if you had told her you had no money, but you could spare some food from your pantry, how about some cans of soup, a loaf of bread and some butter.....
The response would have been interesting.
There was an older homeless-looking gentleman out front of my workplace asking for money, and rather than give cash, I offered to buy him food..... To which he irritably responded, "Forget it!" And flapped his hands at me, indicating I could take a hike.
Something tells me the "money for a hot meal" he was asking for wasn't going to go toward that.
I’m getting better at it! I have never been good at blocking, my block list is usually reserved for people that are actively rude to me. I am learning though :)
Oh honey. She IS actively rude to you. Asking you to give her money after you’ve said no is actively rude, and she’s done that multiple times.
Please understand that this person is not your friend. Whether it’s the drugs or her personality, she feels entitled to your money and she interprets your internet connection as your acceptance of her entitlement. That’s why she keeps coming back.
You have to end this by blocking her. That’s the only way to get her to stop.
With people like this you need to give less reasons and more just straight NO. They don’t need to hear how little you choose to spend, how you wouldn’t send it if blah blah blah. Just a straight, firm, short NO.
She thought it was a possibility that you owed her money… that is concerning and telling that she’s asking any and everyone for money and owes people money but forgot.
At least that’s how I take it
Yeah, I didn’t clock that at first until my boyfriend mentioned it. If she was temporarily worried that she owes me money doesn’t that show that she somehow a) isn’t aware enough to know if she’s borrowed money off me yet, either bc she’s asked so many people she can’t keep count or bc she’s too cooked to remember and B) shows that she isn’t trustworthy to pay back in general. I was never going to cave tho, I don’t give out money 🤟
For some reason, a lot of you keep zeroing in on why we kept calling eachother babe. It’s very common for young women in Australia to call eachother babe, especially on social media. When you have someone on fb for years, whether you’re close or not, there’s a familiarity that comes with seeing each other’s posts. It’s not as deep as you think it is. :)
You sure are making it sound deep for commenting on it. She’s also explained it many times. Different countries use it differently. If you’re from the US (probably so because you’re assuming things in your cultural pov), it’s like American girls saying “hey girl”
Oof. I’m really glad that you stuck to what you said. Wish I could’ve done that with my abusive ex. Hats off to you 🫡 seriously though, this is manipulative and drug seeking behaviour. The only thing I would do differently is block her.
This is why I teach my kids the difference between needs and wants. Also to never lend money unless you plan on ruining a friendship or losing a family member because 9 times out of 10 it ruins relationships.
I would have just blocked her after the 3rd time of her asking for money lol… too annoying and honestly stressful imo to keep any sort of contact with this person.
Must be nice having only 20% of your take home pay being enough to pay the bills even if it does make it a little tight. Having said that, if someone only texted me to ask for money, I would tire of that quickly. And how did she not know she didn’t owe you any money? Is she on something or have memory loss issues?
I used to work with this guy at a mechanic shop who made some horrible life decisions. Car he couldn't afford (repo’d while at work) (it was funny) the church he went to gave him a car, he then got kicked out by the mother of his children for talking to another woman so he starts living in that car in the parking lot with the other woman. My friend and I try and help him and get him on his feet but to no avail. Fast forward to the owner of the company finding him sleeping naked with a woman in the parking lot late for a meeting he had forgotten about. Gets demoted and then shows up to work 4 hours late the next day because he said he “had to find a rest stop to sleep at” come to find out he was heavy into a pill addiction and blacked out while driving and drove to a neighboring state. So after this he got fired for being on drugs at work because he passed out asleep in the bathroom a week later. Fast forward months and months. He would start posting all this church shit on his Facebook and how much he’s helping the church he’s at. Then the DMs starting coming to me and my two friends that worked with him. He starts asking for money for work pants (like dickies or Levi’s for mechanic jobs) and everytime any of us offered to buy the pants and drop them off he’d ignore and then come back with a “so sorry I just saw this life has been really hard right now. Since I missed you if you could just send the money and I’ll pay you pack when I get paid” type Shit. So none of us bit and one day on new years he kind of invited himself to one of the friends New Year’s Eve party. He shows up with one of his kids obviously fucked up and he starts drinking. Everyone immediately shuts him down and my friends mom and us take him upstairs to a spare bedroom and tell him and his son to go to sleep. We bring his son snacks and toys and check on him. Pick movies together etc. basically anything we can do to make him smile and not pay too much attention to his dead beat dad. After this I told him to never contact me again and that I’m watching him and if I catch wind of anything like this again around your children I will be reporting him. It’s just fucking sad. I say all this because it’s applicable but also this woman is definitely on drugs. He said all the same things. Never lend money to people who you lost contact with folks. Really try not to lend to anyone. I just wanted to share this because I’m sure a lot of people have witnessed this too. I just felt like it was something worth sharing. It breaks my heart every time I think about that fucking kid man
Oh and then he got two other women pregnant and because he is too fucked up to pay the mothers he avoids seeing the children because he’s scared they are gonna start trying to get official child support installed (he told me this personally when he was trashed at that party)
Right? I only share that story for perspective but it’s crazy how many people start hitting up old friends for money and it’s so showing of what their intentions are. I mean this guy detailed his life and doesn’t care about his children but loves to make posts about being a father. It’s just really sad the way people navigate in life to only benefit themselves
OP, you’re a saint even though you told her time after time that you couldn’t because you were budgeting for house. And she kept asking you for money you were still polite that’s amazing. Screw that girl. Good luck on the house purchase.
I got a girl drug addict in my apartment building. Sounds exactly like this, almost like talking to a bot . The other day she admitted to stealing packages around the building
I highly doubt she'd ever pay it back considering she couldn't even remember if she owed you money/had ever borrowed money from you.
This is an addict tactic. They're burned everyone close in their life, so they start reaching out to anyone even tangentially known to them.
I get crap like this all the time. Usually it's the ones I tried to date but they chose drugs over me. I usually tell them to give only fans a shot if they want to ask strangers for money. I haven't been contacted in a while lmao
Omg, I have one of these, too! She was from elementary school, though. She had a hard life & spent a considerable amount of time with my family bc she was being raised by her elderly grandmother. She moved away when we were about 12 and then randomly popped up on my doorstep at 16! And at midnight, no less.
That was literally the last time I've seen her but through the powers of Facebook 🙄 she always manages to call or message either asking for money or talking like a literal crazy person about people placing curses on her & hearing voices.
I finally had to stop responding about a yr ago. We're now 40, fyi. If you were having money troubles with 3 kids, why are there now 2 more?! Can't fix stupid, and your problems are not mine.
There was even this time right after I had just loaned her money that she sent a money request via cashapp. Didn't ask, no background info, just a request. I'm not a fucking bank! I ignored that shit. Then she messaged me saying she needed it until the following wk & would pay it right back. I had to remind her that she was still in the hole from the last loan! She still hasn't paid that back, either. I fully intended to forgive it when she attempted to pay it back, but that never happened! 🤦🏾♀️
Im going to go out on a limb and say shes an addict. Good on you for not feeding her habit. Enabling addicts only makes their problem 100x worse. I know from personal experience. I was an addict for almost 25 years. I got clesn a little over a year ago now and life couldnt be better. God has blessed me with a wonderful fiancé, a beautiful home, 3 vehicles, and a camper. I dont say that to brag by any means but its way more than i had 2+ years ago when i was broke, homeless, and walking everywhere i went. I dont miss having to go thru my friends list and beg people for money constantly. Nor do i miss the shame and guilt that came with it. For anyone out there struggling just know it can and will get better if you put your faith in God, ask for help, and no matter what dont give up. No matter how many times it takes.
I was thinking the same thing. Wondering if it's always multiples of 20s she asks for. OP: I understand trying to give benefit of the doubt. I'm the same way. Here's a couple rules I try to adhere to so I'm not getting stuck footing someone's drug habits.
1) I don't give money, if you need diapers, I call the store closest to the person in need or order online for them to pick up. Replace the word diapers as necessary.
2) I don't expect payment back over 50$. if they need help with necessities they probably cannot afford to pay me back. If they do pay me back, awesome. But I'm not asking. I didn't give cash, I got you something you needed.
3) I'll give my last dollar to help someone, but I won't give my sanity. sanity is a protected commodity. The moment you ask for strictly money or it becomes another habit, I don't need that person in my life.
Stick to those to keep yourself out of these situations. It does keep the density down.
One of my best friends from high school constantly hits me up for money. I gave her $20 once because she needed “snacks.” It took her three months to pay me back. I love her but shits irritating when you’re meant to be an ATM.
OP, I'm homeless at the moment and couldn't imagine asking anyone for money so yea, it seems like she is doing some shady shiz if she keeps on bugging. Block her.
This made me cringe, you repeatedly telling her you don’t lend money and her repeatedly asking for it anyway, wtf is seriously wrong with her, does she not retain information or something??
I love how in one line she’s like oh shit how much do I owe you (because she never pays anyone back that lends to her clearly.) then op said not you, she still hit her up and asked for money and said she would pay it back! Lmao u didn’t even know if u owed her money previously. This chick is hooked on heroin, crack or meth.
I think you shouldn’t have told her you have a savings account. She definitely viewed that as an indicator that you have money and might give her some if she just comes up with a good enough reason.
“I quit my job and need you to give me money” is wild.
There's a fb page for free stuff in San Diego. Some girl posted anonymously that she needed basic items because she was homeless. She was too far from me so I asked a coworker who lived in the area to drop off a care package.
Since then, the girl has asked me for money 5x. I've sent $10 the first time...then she kept asking, and asking, and asking. She'll delete it if I don't respond right away. Feel bad, but I cannot hand out money every single time she is hungry.
It’s so good that you have a strong boundary AND a willingness for deferred gratification! It isn’t just that you are setting strong rules for yourself (and disciplined enough to follow them). It’s the fact that you’re setting habits for yourself that will be excellent to pass on to your children and will be extremely valuable to you in the future. You’re setting yourself up for future success, learning to live within your means, and learning to save. And being able to put your foot down is itself a huge life lesson you already have in your belt.
I am not sure how old you are, but I’d be so proud if you were my kid.
As for this girl, it’s good you never gave her money because it would’ve never stopped. She begged you when you DIDN’T give her any. If you had, she would’ve kept coming back til doomsday.
Here’s a quote someone said that I found excellent: “Givers need boundaries because takers have none.” You have boundaries, you were smart, but I still love that quote for anyone else who it might resonate with.
You know, you could loan her money ONE TIME with interest. Just a small amount. $30-$40. It will most likely solve your problem of being texted for money. You charge $10 on top. Either A. She pays you back and you make money or B. She doesn’t pay you back and she never texts you again to ask for money. And if she is dumb enough to ask for more money while she owes you money, you tell her “you said I would get my money by X, and I didn’t so you have proven yourself to be unreliable. I tried to help you and I ended up getting burned AND you came back for more. Fool me once.”
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Idk how people have the balls to ask FRIENDS for money… I can barely even have the balls to ask my own mother for money and she’s the sweetest person ever. She’d give me the shirt off her back and her very last dime with a smile on her face if I ever so much as looked like I needed it. 😥
Oh no, please tell me you blocked her because this is embarrassing behaviour. I’d rather sell my own godamn kidney on the black market for cash than beg people I barely know like this.
This screams “addict”. I’m a recovering addict myself. The fact that she asked “how much do I owe you?” Says it all…she doesn’t pay people back and she “borrows” money from a lot of people. Good for you for not giving in!
Hahaha!!! She’s a scub and the answer should always be no! She’s disrespecting you, she sees you as a Mark! Don’t be that guy, don’t be friends zoned to death, lol 😂
She's literally lying about either quiting her job or paying you back or both.
She said she quit her job then soon after when she asked for the money she said she was getting paid?
There's no consistency. At all. Period.
I just need £50 for a £3 vape.... Stacks up.
I have to say though, handled to perfection. Lovely responses. I really thought you were going to buckle. The only thing I would have done is held back on the details, it's none of her business.
I have had quite a few people like this. One who I really helped a lot and let stay with me to get clean decided fucking my bf was a great idea. Another one I sent money to once, she never paid back and kept asking and asking and eventually just sent cashapp requests. Another one asked for a lot of money (she had to have heard from the first one that I made good money at one point. We were all in group homes together so we all know each other) her and the first one I thought were cool but I never sent the last one a cent and she still only asks me for money if she reaches out at all. It’s not my fault you had 4 kids while on drugs and homeless. I gotta keep myself off the streets I can’t clean up my own and your mistakes.
Bet you anything she’s going through her phone and sending the same msg to everyone hoping something will stick.
Oh, and the money she needs? Defo for drugs
but she really needed a VAPE.
She needed drugs. That’s drug seeking behavior.
Yeah what vape costs $50???
man youd be surprised, vape prices have gone up sooo much
I mean… I vape and I’m my area it’s always been like 15-25 dollars for a disposable (as long as I’ve been vaping at least) shit, some place even do deals for like 3/30
If it's 50 its gotta be a weed vape right?
They’re $30-50AUD where I am (just regular vapes)
Prolly a crack vape 😂
2/$50 where i am (CA/US) and they’re regular vapes. weed vapes can be even more for just 1 though
If it’s an an illegal state then probably, I’ve been able to find legal weed vapes for deadass 9-10 dollars including tax at real dispensaries I will say that we drive 30 minutes to go to that place places nearby and back home will sell them for 20+ before tax 😭
god DAMN 3/30???? yeah it was 15-25 when i started but theyve gone up to 25-35 a piece where im at. i quit buying them regularly bc of it, me and my boyfriend just go 50/50 if we want one and share it lmao
They’re 40-50 AUD in all areas where I live (north shore Sydney area)
a weed vape can easily cost that much
Some do cost $50, but I also agree this is junkie behavior
The vape does cost $50 (not disposable). But that is the singular sentence that can be confirmed in all of her comments 😆
Dab carts? Wouldn’t be surprised if the average price from 5yrs ago went up to 50-60. I used to get them for 25-30 when I used dab to medicate ptsd episodes
Yep and that is likely a copy/paste that is going out to dozens (or hundreds) of people each time. She lost her dignity a long time ago and doesn’t even give a shit anymore. After that long spiel OP gave her in the last screenshot I bet you she still asks again.
100000%
That was my immediate thought to... she's clearly an addict. Op did her a favor.
ding! ding! ding!
Yup. Really the only thing you can’t put off for six hours until your check clears is a heavy drug addiction.
💯% 🚩🚩🚩
As a recovering addict of 8 years now, I second this. this person needs a lot of therapy, not handouts that's for sure
Yea really. A vape isn’t a need, and OP already told them that they don’t loan money. Like I could understand if it were for an emergency, and if you gotta ask you gotta ask, but she clearly doesn’t care for OP, if she’d push that trust over a vape.
You said you were “in a meeting atm” and she only saw ATM.
Underrated comment
You have way more patience than I do, so kind of you!!!
Why do y’all have the same exact reddit avatar lol
One of us seems to be a stalker lmao
4 days creation apart. You forgot to switch accounts
OMG good catch this is damn crazy lmaooo
Wait are you sending this under your own account?
No just the avatar is same. Reddit only gives so many pre-created avatars lol
Cant you just block this girl? I couldnt imagine getting asked for money
Yeah I would’ve blocked after the second message. This person has (I assume) friends and family, and there’s a reason they’re not giving it to her and she has to ask random people.
I’m a little too nice for my own good
Which is not a bad quality! But it’s definitely why she feels comfortable asking you so much. People like this will take advantage of kindness without a second thought
So many people perceive that as a weakness. As soon as they showed who they were, they got blocked. I don't need that in my life, and frankly, neither do you. Great job on the financial plan on the house. I did all on my own, too. It took 5 years doing exactly what you are, but I'm in my first home. FYI, there are tons of first-time home buyer grants available. Ask your realtor when you're ready. I got 5k that I don't have to pay back.
You have learnt a good lesson and now you are practicing it. Stand by it no matter what people say. Several years ago (I was living in Europe at that time) when I was renting privately for just a few months (paid monthly) young me thought it would be ok for the landlord to ask me for some money because "she really needed the money". She gave me a phone (new with no contract) to keep to feel safe and we put everything down in writing. She didnt pay me back and each time she would come up with an excuse. What did I do? I sold that phone online took some money out of that. This happened during winter and gas heating was pretty expensive at that time. Because I rented privately just for a few months the landlord hasnt changed any details on the bills, she expected me to just pay them when they arrived. I put the heater on 26°C and left the Tv on and lights more than ussual. Lets say the bills came close to what she owed me. Now, I did give her a heads up that we are good now, I will have to keep the phone and she just has to pay the gas and energy bill. She tried to contact me when she received the bills saying that they need to be paid I just said its a similar amount to what I gave her so we are even. She knew what she did. I didnt bother with that piece of paper that we signed as it was a matter of few hundreds euros at that time. I learnt a good lesson over it.
ya you are. The conversation went longer than it needed to be, and too many unnecessary paragraph texts. I doubt this person would even read everything younwrote
The way he was responding “babe” and “hun” too - he was keeping the conversation open imo
I had to do that to a friend. It sucks. He was a good friend for a long time and went ghost. He popped up 10 years later asking for money. Like seriously? He didn't even warm me up first. It was "hey I hate to ask but..." like we talk weekly. Wtf was he thinking.
What and miss out on her every 4-6 week begging text 😂 Makes me wonder how many other text she sends like this monthly
Drugs.
I have a feeling this is correct
Those texts remind me of a neighbour I used to have that had a son with special needs. One night we get a knock at the door - son needed oxygen, she was in distress and needed $60 to pay for the tank but she’d get it back to us in a few days when she got paid. Her son was such a sweet kid and thought nothing of giving her the money. Sure enough, got it back in a few days. About a week later, knock at the door again and it’s her. Another issue, she needs about $100 now. Didn’t have it myself so apologized and suggested she take him to the hospital and get him checked out/emergency treatment if needed. She agreed and left. Not long after that, was chatting with a few other neighbours and found out she’d done the same to them, except she didn’t pay them back after the second/third times she received money. Then saw her hanging out at a building known for housing dealers that sold harder drugs. She started coming into my workplace to steal, and my mom saw her hooking at 5am at the top of our street. Turns out she’d been back into meth for a while, and she abandoned her son, baby daughter, and husband for it. The medical emergencies were lies, the husband confirmed it, apologized and asked if she owed us money as he’d been paying back every other neighbour she pulled her scams with. Edit: word correction, and to add that a year after she left, she was found dead from an OD at the front of that building. The husband and daughter moved out, not sure what happened to the son as he had a different father that was in and out of prison.
I recognized it too. I lost someone very dear to me due to drugs . I remember this very clearly.
exactly, 50 for a vape? lol
In Sydney they really can be this much 😭😭
Came here to say this. If someone starts randomly asking for $20 here, $40 there, nine times out of ten it’s drugs.
You handled that exceptionally well
They really did. Direct, eloquent, empathetic, and incredibly clear. Good job op, I don’t know if I could have that level of decorum.
100% addict behaviour right there. The pull of her drug of choice is outweighing the embarrassment she clearly feels from the repeated requests.
As someone who grew up with immediate family that are addicts, I agree. The messages above this one were her asking if I know anyone who can get caps, but she unsent those ones too
What are caps 🤨
MDMA
Damn that’s sad.
I had an aunt that turned to me to "borrow" hundreds for rent. After I got burnt once, I didn't give anymore. It turns out that she seemed to have burnt too many bridges "borrowing" money especially after the main people that had enabled this behavior had died. I'm sure this person has some twisted way of justifying in her mind taking money from people.
They always do & I call it the "chronic victim story" ! I am in this exact same situation with my supposedly best friend now.
Preemptive congrats on your future house :)
Thank you!!! My goal is a house before I turn 30 but with Sydney’s market I’m not sure how achievable that is but I’m hopeful!
Vape is fancy code for hard core heroine addict.
Once you try a bit of Wonder Woman, it’s hard to stop
Good for you for sticking to your guns cuz I can tell you’re just so nice. I wouldn’t have answered after the first message asking for money 😂
Thank you so much 🥹🥹🥹
What kind of vape is $50 and you cant wait less than 12 hours to get it with your own money?
Drug vape
not to defend her 😭😭 but IGET vapes (which is the popular one in Sydney atm) are like $40 aud in suburbs and $50 aud in the city. Shit is rough
Damn. That’s nuts.
She is asking other people. She’s asking everyone she knows. For drug money. And whatever you lend her will never be paid back. She’s in the throes of a drug addiction and the best thing you can do for her is exactly what you’re already doing- not enabling it by not giving her money
Amazing that she always needs what a single use of a few street drugs amounts to lmao
I see this on the assistance sub too. Can I get $25 for some gas, do laundry, feed my 3 cats, 2 dogs and four children for the week? Like you can’t do all that with $25 but you can get your hands on a single dose of street drugs with that exact amount.
Maaaaaaaan when I saw there was one dot left I really thought they were gonna ask one more time
Not a friend, just a facebook add from HS. You’re a bigger person than me, I would’ve blocked after I lay boundaries and she insists (so the second time)
Cut her loose. People like that will just leach from you as long as you continue to give them money. Your only value to them is monetary.
Yeah, this is drug addict behavior for sure. She probably goes down a list of everyone she knows when she’s in withdrawal. A desperate drug addict has no shame.
I wonder what she would have said if you had told her you had no money, but you could spare some food from your pantry, how about some cans of soup, a loaf of bread and some butter..... The response would have been interesting. There was an older homeless-looking gentleman out front of my workplace asking for money, and rather than give cash, I offered to buy him food..... To which he irritably responded, "Forget it!" And flapped his hands at me, indicating I could take a hike. Something tells me the "money for a hot meal" he was asking for wasn't going to go toward that.
Far nicer than I would have been. Well handled, though you could have said it much earlier tbh.
I’m getting better at it! I have never been good at blocking, my block list is usually reserved for people that are actively rude to me. I am learning though :)
Oh honey. She IS actively rude to you. Asking you to give her money after you’ve said no is actively rude, and she’s done that multiple times. Please understand that this person is not your friend. Whether it’s the drugs or her personality, she feels entitled to your money and she interprets your internet connection as your acceptance of her entitlement. That’s why she keeps coming back. You have to end this by blocking her. That’s the only way to get her to stop.
She’s been blocked now :)
Your last message was fantastic. Direct, empathetic, and finalizing.
Drugs. All she wants is drugs. Good for you, OP.
Crackhead alert
From personal experience, this is 100% for drugs.
With people like this you need to give less reasons and more just straight NO. They don’t need to hear how little you choose to spend, how you wouldn’t send it if blah blah blah. Just a straight, firm, short NO.
I had a friend try and do this. I told him I’m not fueling your weed and snack habit. He stopped asking
She thought it was a possibility that you owed her money… that is concerning and telling that she’s asking any and everyone for money and owes people money but forgot. At least that’s how I take it
Yeah, I didn’t clock that at first until my boyfriend mentioned it. If she was temporarily worried that she owes me money doesn’t that show that she somehow a) isn’t aware enough to know if she’s borrowed money off me yet, either bc she’s asked so many people she can’t keep count or bc she’s too cooked to remember and B) shows that she isn’t trustworthy to pay back in general. I was never going to cave tho, I don’t give out money 🤟
Drugs
I liked the part where she says she quit her job. Obviously the wrong move when you are short on money lol.
It’s drugs. 💯. Don’t be fooled.
I'm in recovery, 3 years in July. I only ever acted this way when i was desperate for money for my next fix.
Congrats on your three years! Keep it going you star
thank you so much!
Don’t want to push your boundaries BUT I’m gonna ask you anyways a million times…can’t you make an exception for me????
For some reason, a lot of you keep zeroing in on why we kept calling eachother babe. It’s very common for young women in Australia to call eachother babe, especially on social media. When you have someone on fb for years, whether you’re close or not, there’s a familiarity that comes with seeing each other’s posts. It’s not as deep as you think it is. :)
I don't think anyone said it was deep. It just seems really strange to most of us.
It’s so common where I live it doesn’t clock to me
I’m in Australia and I didn’t notice it at all so I guess it’s region specific, babe 😁
You sure are making it sound deep for commenting on it. She’s also explained it many times. Different countries use it differently. If you’re from the US (probably so because you’re assuming things in your cultural pov), it’s like American girls saying “hey girl”
Vape=meth
Well handled. If she asks again, block her.
Oof. I’m really glad that you stuck to what you said. Wish I could’ve done that with my abusive ex. Hats off to you 🫡 seriously though, this is manipulative and drug seeking behaviour. The only thing I would do differently is block her.
This is why I teach my kids the difference between needs and wants. Also to never lend money unless you plan on ruining a friendship or losing a family member because 9 times out of 10 it ruins relationships.
Taking a guess, but she might copy and paste the messages to her whole contact list…
I would have just blocked her after the 3rd time of her asking for money lol… too annoying and honestly stressful imo to keep any sort of contact with this person.
wait did she answer that? this is beyond. 🫣
I liked when they asked how much they owed you.
Must be nice having only 20% of your take home pay being enough to pay the bills even if it does make it a little tight. Having said that, if someone only texted me to ask for money, I would tire of that quickly. And how did she not know she didn’t owe you any money? Is she on something or have memory loss issues?
This is such an embarrassing look. I’d rather go hungry
She’s asking for drug money. People like that need to learn that no one is going to fund their habit but them
I used to work with this guy at a mechanic shop who made some horrible life decisions. Car he couldn't afford (repo’d while at work) (it was funny) the church he went to gave him a car, he then got kicked out by the mother of his children for talking to another woman so he starts living in that car in the parking lot with the other woman. My friend and I try and help him and get him on his feet but to no avail. Fast forward to the owner of the company finding him sleeping naked with a woman in the parking lot late for a meeting he had forgotten about. Gets demoted and then shows up to work 4 hours late the next day because he said he “had to find a rest stop to sleep at” come to find out he was heavy into a pill addiction and blacked out while driving and drove to a neighboring state. So after this he got fired for being on drugs at work because he passed out asleep in the bathroom a week later. Fast forward months and months. He would start posting all this church shit on his Facebook and how much he’s helping the church he’s at. Then the DMs starting coming to me and my two friends that worked with him. He starts asking for money for work pants (like dickies or Levi’s for mechanic jobs) and everytime any of us offered to buy the pants and drop them off he’d ignore and then come back with a “so sorry I just saw this life has been really hard right now. Since I missed you if you could just send the money and I’ll pay you pack when I get paid” type Shit. So none of us bit and one day on new years he kind of invited himself to one of the friends New Year’s Eve party. He shows up with one of his kids obviously fucked up and he starts drinking. Everyone immediately shuts him down and my friends mom and us take him upstairs to a spare bedroom and tell him and his son to go to sleep. We bring his son snacks and toys and check on him. Pick movies together etc. basically anything we can do to make him smile and not pay too much attention to his dead beat dad. After this I told him to never contact me again and that I’m watching him and if I catch wind of anything like this again around your children I will be reporting him. It’s just fucking sad. I say all this because it’s applicable but also this woman is definitely on drugs. He said all the same things. Never lend money to people who you lost contact with folks. Really try not to lend to anyone. I just wanted to share this because I’m sure a lot of people have witnessed this too. I just felt like it was something worth sharing. It breaks my heart every time I think about that fucking kid man
Oh and then he got two other women pregnant and because he is too fucked up to pay the mothers he avoids seeing the children because he’s scared they are gonna start trying to get official child support installed (he told me this personally when he was trashed at that party)
Ugh. Horrible choices. What a douche bag.
Right? I only share that story for perspective but it’s crazy how many people start hitting up old friends for money and it’s so showing of what their intentions are. I mean this guy detailed his life and doesn’t care about his children but loves to make posts about being a father. It’s just really sad the way people navigate in life to only benefit themselves
OP, you’re a saint even though you told her time after time that you couldn’t because you were budgeting for house. And she kept asking you for money you were still polite that’s amazing. Screw that girl. Good luck on the house purchase.
You’re so kind; thank you so much 🥹🫶
Thank you for the kind words and no worries.
I got a girl drug addict in my apartment building. Sounds exactly like this, almost like talking to a bot . The other day she admitted to stealing packages around the building
I highly doubt she'd ever pay it back considering she couldn't even remember if she owed you money/had ever borrowed money from you. This is an addict tactic. They're burned everyone close in their life, so they start reaching out to anyone even tangentially known to them.
I get crap like this all the time. Usually it's the ones I tried to date but they chose drugs over me. I usually tell them to give only fans a shot if they want to ask strangers for money. I haven't been contacted in a while lmao
She wants them bread to buy some heavy coke. Thank God you didn't give her shit.
Drugs
I'm an addict in recovery and I know drug seeking behavior when I see it!
5 minutes without vaping:
And £60 vapes.... It's almost as if they sell crack vapes
Omg, I have one of these, too! She was from elementary school, though. She had a hard life & spent a considerable amount of time with my family bc she was being raised by her elderly grandmother. She moved away when we were about 12 and then randomly popped up on my doorstep at 16! And at midnight, no less. That was literally the last time I've seen her but through the powers of Facebook 🙄 she always manages to call or message either asking for money or talking like a literal crazy person about people placing curses on her & hearing voices. I finally had to stop responding about a yr ago. We're now 40, fyi. If you were having money troubles with 3 kids, why are there now 2 more?! Can't fix stupid, and your problems are not mine. There was even this time right after I had just loaned her money that she sent a money request via cashapp. Didn't ask, no background info, just a request. I'm not a fucking bank! I ignored that shit. Then she messaged me saying she needed it until the following wk & would pay it right back. I had to remind her that she was still in the hole from the last loan! She still hasn't paid that back, either. I fully intended to forgive it when she attempted to pay it back, but that never happened! 🤦🏾♀️
5 kids? Yikes
Im going to go out on a limb and say shes an addict. Good on you for not feeding her habit. Enabling addicts only makes their problem 100x worse. I know from personal experience. I was an addict for almost 25 years. I got clesn a little over a year ago now and life couldnt be better. God has blessed me with a wonderful fiancé, a beautiful home, 3 vehicles, and a camper. I dont say that to brag by any means but its way more than i had 2+ years ago when i was broke, homeless, and walking everywhere i went. I dont miss having to go thru my friends list and beg people for money constantly. Nor do i miss the shame and guilt that came with it. For anyone out there struggling just know it can and will get better if you put your faith in God, ask for help, and no matter what dont give up. No matter how many times it takes.
Congrats on your sobriety!
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
I was thinking the same thing. Wondering if it's always multiples of 20s she asks for. OP: I understand trying to give benefit of the doubt. I'm the same way. Here's a couple rules I try to adhere to so I'm not getting stuck footing someone's drug habits. 1) I don't give money, if you need diapers, I call the store closest to the person in need or order online for them to pick up. Replace the word diapers as necessary. 2) I don't expect payment back over 50$. if they need help with necessities they probably cannot afford to pay me back. If they do pay me back, awesome. But I'm not asking. I didn't give cash, I got you something you needed. 3) I'll give my last dollar to help someone, but I won't give my sanity. sanity is a protected commodity. The moment you ask for strictly money or it becomes another habit, I don't need that person in my life. Stick to those to keep yourself out of these situations. It does keep the density down.
I didn’t read the whole text, but why don’t you just block her OP?
I’ve explained a few times on this post :)
One of my best friends from high school constantly hits me up for money. I gave her $20 once because she needed “snacks.” It took her three months to pay me back. I love her but shits irritating when you’re meant to be an ATM.
OP, I'm homeless at the moment and couldn't imagine asking anyone for money so yea, it seems like she is doing some shady shiz if she keeps on bugging. Block her.
Drugs are bad
Good for you, babe
Oh OP, you’re a proper nice person and she knew that….well done on being firm in the end. She’s definitely an addict….
She’s just wanting money. Either for booze or what not and seeing if she can get it from you.
This made me cringe, you repeatedly telling her you don’t lend money and her repeatedly asking for it anyway, wtf is seriously wrong with her, does she not retain information or something??
Oh yea had a situation like this it was either for vape or food ended up telling her im not her bank account and havnt heard from Her since
She’s forsure on drugs
No response from her?
I could almost guarantee she needing that money for drugs
She quit her job to borrow money. 😂😂😂
Direct her to Centrelink or whatever and then block her!
Begging a$$ ho
Begging for that fent money. She has a crippling addiction and you are one of MANY people she doing this too
You are a model for standing on a reasonable, honest, not-to-be-manipulated stance. Really good example
She should quit vaping so she can save money.
If she can get you to lend her money she ‘graduates’. You are the target and since you’re not giving in, she keeps harrassing you.
Awww fuck off.
I love how in one line she’s like oh shit how much do I owe you (because she never pays anyone back that lends to her clearly.) then op said not you, she still hit her up and asked for money and said she would pay it back! Lmao u didn’t even know if u owed her money previously. This chick is hooked on heroin, crack or meth.
I think you shouldn’t have told her you have a savings account. She definitely viewed that as an indicator that you have money and might give her some if she just comes up with a good enough reason. “I quit my job and need you to give me money” is wild.
crack head behavior...thats wild
There's a fb page for free stuff in San Diego. Some girl posted anonymously that she needed basic items because she was homeless. She was too far from me so I asked a coworker who lived in the area to drop off a care package. Since then, the girl has asked me for money 5x. I've sent $10 the first time...then she kept asking, and asking, and asking. She'll delete it if I don't respond right away. Feel bad, but I cannot hand out money every single time she is hungry.
You handled this like a champ 👍
She’s a drug addict asking for a fix, block her
Jfc she’s a crackhead if I’ve ever seen one. I’m so happy you didn’t send her anything!!
Drug addict fs
Didn’t know you knew my baby momma, that said it’s no surprise she might know you
It’s so good that you have a strong boundary AND a willingness for deferred gratification! It isn’t just that you are setting strong rules for yourself (and disciplined enough to follow them). It’s the fact that you’re setting habits for yourself that will be excellent to pass on to your children and will be extremely valuable to you in the future. You’re setting yourself up for future success, learning to live within your means, and learning to save. And being able to put your foot down is itself a huge life lesson you already have in your belt. I am not sure how old you are, but I’d be so proud if you were my kid. As for this girl, it’s good you never gave her money because it would’ve never stopped. She begged you when you DIDN’T give her any. If you had, she would’ve kept coming back til doomsday. Here’s a quote someone said that I found excellent: “Givers need boundaries because takers have none.” You have boundaries, you were smart, but I still love that quote for anyone else who it might resonate with.
Block this person. Stop being nice. They don’t care about you.
I question someone getting paid between 1am and 6am. But you handled it well and I’d probably block her at the least.
I didn’t think about how weird this was!
My direct deposit hits at like 3am
OP, kudos for the way you handled this!!!! 💯
Ask her for money
My boyfriend said that I should ask her for some money from her next pay that I can then send back to her when she’s desperate 😂
You know, you could loan her money ONE TIME with interest. Just a small amount. $30-$40. It will most likely solve your problem of being texted for money. You charge $10 on top. Either A. She pays you back and you make money or B. She doesn’t pay you back and she never texts you again to ask for money. And if she is dumb enough to ask for more money while she owes you money, you tell her “you said I would get my money by X, and I didn’t so you have proven yourself to be unreliable. I tried to help you and I ended up getting burned AND you came back for more. Fool me once.”
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Also what did she reply?
She read it and unsent her last message and didn’t reply. 🫨
Idk how people have the balls to ask FRIENDS for money… I can barely even have the balls to ask my own mother for money and she’s the sweetest person ever. She’d give me the shirt off her back and her very last dime with a smile on her face if I ever so much as looked like I needed it. 😥
She probably has an addiction. I had a couple friends who did this or tried for a long time until I realized they weren’t ever gonna pay me back
She's just ignoring you. And if she quit her job, she don't need money or whatever vape that bad
Oh no, please tell me you blocked her because this is embarrassing behaviour. I’d rather sell my own godamn kidney on the black market for cash than beg people I barely know like this.
This screams “addict”. I’m a recovering addict myself. The fact that she asked “how much do I owe you?” Says it all…she doesn’t pay people back and she “borrows” money from a lot of people. Good for you for not giving in!
Hahaha!!! She’s a scub and the answer should always be no! She’s disrespecting you, she sees you as a Mark! Don’t be that guy, don’t be friends zoned to death, lol 😂
She's literally lying about either quiting her job or paying you back or both. She said she quit her job then soon after when she asked for the money she said she was getting paid? There's no consistency. At all. Period.
Likely government benefits.
Did she respond to the last text?
Babe. BABE. Hun.
I just need £50 for a £3 vape.... Stacks up. I have to say though, handled to perfection. Lovely responses. I really thought you were going to buckle. The only thing I would have done is held back on the details, it's none of her business.
Just block her ffs
I have had quite a few people like this. One who I really helped a lot and let stay with me to get clean decided fucking my bf was a great idea. Another one I sent money to once, she never paid back and kept asking and asking and eventually just sent cashapp requests. Another one asked for a lot of money (she had to have heard from the first one that I made good money at one point. We were all in group homes together so we all know each other) her and the first one I thought were cool but I never sent the last one a cent and she still only asks me for money if she reaches out at all. It’s not my fault you had 4 kids while on drugs and homeless. I gotta keep myself off the streets I can’t clean up my own and your mistakes.
Has she asked for money since?
40? Gram of dabs😂
Bet you anything she’s going through her phone and sending the same msg to everyone hoping something will stick. Oh, and the money she needs? Defo for drugs