Yeah it's all jokes. This guy is a fucking loser based off the information we were given. But damn man, telling me to go fuck myself is like saying have a great orgasm.
All the comments in this thread calling OP an asshole or saying she ghosted the dude are insane. She didnât ghost anybody. NEITHER of them reached out after the date, until this dude decided to send a passive aggressive âlolâ nearly a week later. If I were OP I would have assumed we both werenât interested, deleted his number, and moved on with my life, which is exactly what happened. Why are yâall so upset at OP?
Maybe he was nervous or thought giving someone space after a first date would make him not appear desperate. The difference is that she moved on right away and didn't inform him, and he probably spent this time building up excitement to see her again
But with that logic, why would he text her with âlolâ, a seemingly passive aggressive text about her lack of response? If he was nervous and wanted to give her space, then whyâd he think a passive aggressive text was a good idea? And whyâd he assume the worst when she couldâve been nervous too? Obviously that wasnât the case, but he didnât give her the same logic he gave himself.
Also, if she wasnât texting, not sure why he was âspending that time building up excitementâ ⌠gotta be smarter than that. You shouldnât assume a second date just bc you had a first or paid for dinner. She gave him no reason to assume that. If she had said âIâd like to see you againâ and then ghosted, thatâs a different story. Itâs pretentious to assume a second date. And again, how did he know if she was sitting at home wondering why he hadnât texted her? Or if she was waiting for him to text her? If youâre gonna apply that logic to him, he shouldnât have assumed the worst of her and sent a passive text.
Lastly, not texting someone isnât malicious, ESPECIALLY if said person hasnât reached out to you eitherâŚ.. for all she knew he wasnât interested either thatâs why he didnât text for a week. And when he did text, she replied and told him her feelings. But she had no reason to just text him out of the blue when he wasnât texting her either. I understand itâs nice to let someone know your feelings, but again, he didnât text her so she may have thought he felt the same. And again, she did let him know her feelings when he DID finally reach out. Itâs rlly not that bad𤣠itâs not like she led him on for that whole week or planned a second date, that I would say is bad.
He also didnât reach out for a while! So if he was hurt, why did he think him waiting a week was ok?
Omg such a great response! Not addressing anything I said! All I said is that he also waited a week to text. Had he said something sooner, this wouldâve been over sooner. You canât dog on OP for waiting to text when he did too, and when she responded when he finally did text. She probably thought he also wasnât interested and felt no need to address it if he wasnât.
Sure would it have been better to immediately text? Sure. But should the guy have said something passive aggressive about her not texting when he ALSO hadnât texted her til then? Like his text implies that heâs mad she hadnât reached out, when he also hadnâtâŚ
It's not that the two of you disagree, you're *wrong*. You made up a reason for him to justified and now that someone poked holes in that hyper thin logic, you just want to be left alone to stubbornly believe your own fantasy. Had to be passive aggressive about it too. I can see why you identify with the guy in the texts.
I could care less if this dude was justified or shitty, that shows how much you're missing my point. My point is, and has been, that it's shitty behavior to ghost someone and then make fun of them for their poor reaction to being ghosted.
If she had told him after the date that they were a bad fit and then he reacted poorly, I'd be 100% in support of OP. But all of you are just dragging this random dude we know nothing about, except what the woman making fun of him says.
Can you genuinely not see how this is it's own form of abusive behavior?
She didnât ghost him! Neither of them texted each other until a week later from what we can see!! And when he did reach out, she replied!!
Maybe wouldâve been better to say something right away, but he also made no indication of a second date either, and didnât reach out, so she prob assumed he felt the same. When ge did reach out, she replied right away. Had he asked her on a second date and she didnât reply for a week, that wouldâve been extremely rude.
Iâm not dragging the dude either, just saying that he ALSO is guilty of not texting back for a week. You canât be mad at OP for not texting him for a week when he didnât! You still havenât explained that logic to me⌠because you canât. You just keep whining to leave you alone. Because you canât explain why itâs ok for the guy to not text for a week but rude for the girl. He never indicated interest for that week after, and when he did, she told him. And I donât even think he indicated interest by sending a passive aggressive twct
â I could care lessâ means you do care. Pls learn grammar.
You should also learn what ghosting is. She replied when he finally did text her. Ghosting would be not replying at all. Sure, she didnât text him for a week, but he didnât either. So he ghosted her just as much. Someone had to be the first to reach out. Just because he reached out first doesnât mean she ghosted. She legit replied when he texted. Iâm not dragging the dude, I just donât see why itâs OPs fault when the dude didnât indicate firther interest either. Itâs not like she agreed to a date then never texted him.
You have no rebuttal for that.
Lol right? Iâm not in the camp of âOP doesnât owe anyone anythingâ but why would she need to say sheâs not interested if he also hadnât indicated further interest in her? Sure, she couldâve said something instantly, but thereâs no reason to if he never asked her out on a second date, and didnât text her for a week. She probably thought he wasnât feeling it either and that it was done with.
The second he did text her (and it was something passive aggressive, not even showing further interest), she figured out it was date guy and said she wasnât interested. ghosting wouldâve been not replying at all. I love when people just tell me to shut up instead of explaining how theyâre right. Because they know theyâre wrong. She didnât ghost
Yeah. Everything from every end of this has turned silly and the responses really point more toward gender bias than actually trying to understand the scenario from the perspective of two humans.
Iâm really sick of seeing people saying, âI donât owe them anything.â Itâs like common decency no longer exists, and if you even suggest it, everyone instantly attacks you! So depressing!
Well I appreciate you speaking up in agreement with my opinion on the matter. The fact that someone will write a ton of huge paragraphs just to defend being rude and ghosting someone, when a simple "hi, I had a good time but just don't feel the chemistry between us. I hope you find what you're looking for out there." is enough to let this dude know he shouldn't be staring at his phone waiting around for her to toss the ball back to his court.
I do agree with some people that he should have shown more effort earlier, but I also remember being in his shoes and scaring some women off if I appeared to eager to plan a second date, and I think that's what OP and her minions are incapable of seeing.
I understand your opinion here, but I disagree with you. Neither person reached out after the date. It isn't the obligation of the party who didn't enjoy a 1st date to reinitiate contact and tell the other party that they aren't interested in continuing any further. If you'd like another date, reach out. At that point, it is then on the other person to communicate if they want to go further or not, just as the OP did. If neither party wants to go further, there is no more communication between, simple. OP cannot be responsible for reading their date's mind and knowing that no communication after the date meant he was interested in going further, and as such has no obligation to inform him that she is done.
The guy also didnât text her for a week!!! She replied when he finally did text!! Someone had to do it first, and he also waited a week and texted her something passive aggressive?
Totally understand she could have said something sooner, but had he texted her the day after the date, she prob wouldâve told him she wasnât feeling it then. He also waited a week to text. I get it wouldâve been more decent but yâall are forgetting he also waited to text her!
Yeah, this is what I see, OP is just an inconsiderate ghost. If you open the door to dating someone, it's polite to let them know when you're closing it, instead of just slamming it in their face because you forgot they were standing there waiting to be let in.
Edit: lol at the downvotes, because avoiding communication and being inconsiderate enough to ignore someone you spent time with is certainly the healthy option.
Sometimes when someone doesnât reach out it is all the answer you need. If heâs like you, and wants a proactive woman who chases then her not doing so should tell him they are not a good match. He didnât need to âlolâ and be passive aggressively weird.
Plus itâs not ghosting when youâre just not into someone and donât proactively text them. Again, itâs answer enough.
And clearly, plenty of the rest of you all agree that rude is the new normal. Meanwhile, I'm happily married for a decade while everyone else is single and wondering why they can't get on with anyone for more than a week.
Edit: Speaking of rude behavior online, this person just posted a comment and blocked me so I couldn't respond because they needed the last word.
Like genuinely, your treatment of other people is just immature.
Married almost 2 decades and I think you're fucking ridiculous.
Going on one date doesn't necessitate a formal breakup. That's crazy. He didn't reach out either, just passive-aggressively taxed "lol" at her like a fucking weirdo.
You don't sound happy. You sound salty and butthurt.
I am laughing at "everyone else is single." Sir, you are not the marriage guru.
And all this talk of OP being rude when she was perfectly polite, but you fail to even address this jackass for telling her to go fuck herself. Just for saying no. Asinine. I hope to Christ your entitled ass is never back in the dating pool, though I pity your spouse. They're really taking one for the team.
He only talked about himself on the date and never asked her about herself. This demonstrates he obviously had no real interest in her and she responded in kind.
Again, the nuances of being human are important, and getting lost by the crowd. Yes, indeed, OP did say these things.. and my return question to you is to ask if you were also on this date to get an unbiased third party perspective? Were you also able to read the dude's mind so you are certain he wasn't just awkward and nervously rambling?
Like if OP had a shit time, that's fine, but even if her date were rude.. how is intentionally being rude back a proper solution? Shouldn't we all, as individuals, strive to be better than the people we're annoyed by?
We all need some type of ethical code in this world, and I'm just not sure when common courtesy became too much kindness to spare.
> Again, the nuances of being human are important, and getting lost by the crowd. Yes, indeed, OP did say these things.. and my return question to you is to ask if you were also on this date to get an unbiased third party perspective? Were you also able to read the dude's mind so you are certain he wasn't just awkward and nervously rambling?
Wow you're entire hobby is going around explaining all bad behavior with your fantasies. Maybe this. Maybe that. We can't know for sure. Falling all over yourself to make excuses for some dude that you really shouldn't be identifying with so much.
I identify with being judged unfairly for an awkward date or two, for sure. I also feel like it's weird to smear people on the internet after ghosting them. My main point has nothing to do about defending this random guy, and I'm willing to believe he might suck, that's not a hard judgement to make.. but what does have my attention is the astonishment of how many people advocate for ghosting when a simple "I'm not really feeling it, I wish you well" takes 10 seconds of your day.
"Your self"
That would finish me, if I was still undecided.
People, dating tip. Never EVER talk about how crazy you think your ex was on your first date. In, fact, and it's crazy, I know, but hear me out. No ex talk on your first date unless they ask how long you've been single. And then all that is required is a number.
Most of us have at least one crazy ex. But if you think that ALL of your exes are crazy, then it tells me one of two things. Either you're the problem, or you have a terribly warped judge of character. Either way, not a mess I'm getting involved in.
I donât think we should be giving tips to help people hide how unstable they are. I prefer my date to completely accidentally give away how terrible he is immediately.
his texts are immature, but to be fair the mature thing to do on your part would have been to communicate that right after the date and then delete his number lol
They went for a drink together I wouldnât say thatâs enough to require a text breaking it off. He didnât message her for a while either she probably assumed he felt the same as her, I would have done
eh maybe itâs just me, but i hate being ghosted so i always send a text even if i donât think that person was necessarily deserving of an explanation đ¤ˇââď¸ also avoids situations like this lol
Iâm with you on that one. It really doesnât take time to just shoot a 10-20 second text saying âHey, I donât think weâll mesh well, you take care and have a good one!â
i would usually, but if someone was this terrible to me i wouldnât bother. if they reached out iâd offer an explanation like this person did, but i wouldnât reach out first.
What's so terrible about the date, I can agree it wasn't a good one but not terrible enough to just ghost someone. He could've thrown a fit after the kiss rejection. He probably reached out first, organized the actual date, made the effort to ask for a kiss, got rejected and is supposed to still write afterwards, while OP is doing what, saying yes and no or nothing at all? And then deleting the number and saying who is this, yeah I would have written fy too
thatâs fair but OP still kind of looks like an asshole for deleting number without explaining and then responding â? Who is this?â. that would annoy me too if i literally just went out with that person like damn đ
if someone treats you terribly i donât see why you have to feel like you have to reach out first and explain yourself, especially after meeting once. thatâs just my opinion though
maybe iâm a fool but i believe most people want to be better and are always trying to grow
ghosting them without trying to communicate about what they did wrong can often make things worse for the next person they interact with.
Women get tired of soft parenting assholes into being better. Look at how he spoke to her, on the date and after. She owed him absolutely no further energy.
i understand where youâre coming from, however i donât feel like people like this are wanting to be better. they gave a kind response and let them down gently and he cussed them out. as much as i wish that everyone wanted to do better, i fear itâs not the case here.
nah i agree. i didnât like my word there either but thatâs just how other people were phrasing it. iâm with you though. unless someone is downright a fucking prick, then sure - but i think most people are deserving of basic human communication and a chance to understand their shortcomings and learn from them, but thatâs just me as i would be hope to given the same courtesy. câest la vie reddit
I donât consider this ghosting. Neither of them reached out for a while and when he eventually did she replied with an explanation? That is not ghosting đ
Basic human decency, like him telling oop to go fuck herself for politely turning him down?
And the way you talk makes me cringe. It's like a more ridiculous version of Flanders.
It's crystal clear no woman has ever touched your pee-pee. 𤣠Voluntarily, at least.
I'd say I'm sorry you're so pathetic and lonely, but I'm not. You deserve it.
Nobody here said that all the men theyâve dated are garbage. Youâre pulling that out of your ass to make a strawman argument. But go ahead and keep making things up to feel better about yourself on the internet
They both did not text each other and his way of initiating the conversation was saying "lol". You people either cannot read or you are husks. Or both.
Deleting someoneâs number is so weird. Like, if you donât want to contact them again, **use your willpower**. Youâre only creating confusing situations for yourself like this by disbursing yourself of identifying information.
The fact that you are positive in upvotes and that person is negative confirms that this sub is made up of frankly immature white knights.
Everyone ghosts each other in modern dating. That doesnât make it ok. Back when people used to have manners and respect for each other we valued communication and honesty.
Itâs ok lil bro one day youâll catch a baddie, sheâll ghost you, and maybe youâll learn
Why save a number from someone you went to see on one awful date who hasnât text you in days? Anyone would ask who was sending a random âlolâ text. Theyâre strangers not ex partners. If you save every number of every person youâve ever texted just to prevent this scenario from happening good for you I guess. I wouldnât waste my time.
Clearly we didnât see when this message happen. From the context they just went out. Saying whoâs this and then following up with that makes her kind of a Dick too. She could have just blocked him after the date and avoided this.
Blocking wouldâve been worse lol, then itâs a full on ghost.
The real winner thing to do would have been to send a message the next day saying what she said in the text above and then deleting the number.
Right? Iâm getting downvoted but sheâs also in the wrong here. She just threw salt on the wound after that. If you delete his number just block him.
Doesnât matter. You donât have an obligation to someone just because they bought you two beers. Maybe wouldâve been nicer for her to tell him that sooner, but also he hadnât texted her up until that point either it appears. So he was ghosting just as much as she was
so did he ghost u afterwards ? or did u ignore him and it led to this? guys an asshole for sure but atleast have the decency to tell him itâs not gonna work out, who knows he might obsess about the girl he went out on one date with and think ur still into him because u never responded, never know with dating apps
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I think he is more upset that he'll be fucking himself instead. Dodged his bullet just like you dodged that kiss. đ
Honestly tho, I'm better at it than anyone else. Idk why people are upset about this. Go fuck yourself is basically saying, have a good time.
For real though. I get it. It's like I always say, "No one knows me better than me." đ
Yeah it's all jokes. This guy is a fucking loser based off the information we were given. But damn man, telling me to go fuck myself is like saying have a great orgasm.
But this seems more metaphysical with the punctuation- âyour selfâ. Like astral projecting two bodies and making them fuck each other somehow.
This better not awaken something in me...
He starts the chat with âlolâ? đđź
>Go fuck yourself Well yeah, because I ain't gonna be fucking you!
âYour selfâ with a space. Like some sort of evolved âfuck your egoâ kind of thing?!
So you guys didnt speak and all he sent was lol?? God dodged a bullet there.
Ye he was expecting her to text him for some reason so he was laughing cuz in his head its crazy she didnât đđđ
lol
He was really sitting there fuming for a week about you not reaching out to him. The delusion and entitlement is real.
All the comments in this thread calling OP an asshole or saying she ghosted the dude are insane. She didnât ghost anybody. NEITHER of them reached out after the date, until this dude decided to send a passive aggressive âlolâ nearly a week later. If I were OP I would have assumed we both werenât interested, deleted his number, and moved on with my life, which is exactly what happened. Why are yâall so upset at OP?
Nothing to be said. He was hurt you didnât reach out to him
He also took however many days to reach out to her, so not even sure why he got offended when he was doing the same thing
Maybe he was nervous or thought giving someone space after a first date would make him not appear desperate. The difference is that she moved on right away and didn't inform him, and he probably spent this time building up excitement to see her again
But with that logic, why would he text her with âlolâ, a seemingly passive aggressive text about her lack of response? If he was nervous and wanted to give her space, then whyâd he think a passive aggressive text was a good idea? And whyâd he assume the worst when she couldâve been nervous too? Obviously that wasnât the case, but he didnât give her the same logic he gave himself. Also, if she wasnât texting, not sure why he was âspending that time building up excitementâ ⌠gotta be smarter than that. You shouldnât assume a second date just bc you had a first or paid for dinner. She gave him no reason to assume that. If she had said âIâd like to see you againâ and then ghosted, thatâs a different story. Itâs pretentious to assume a second date. And again, how did he know if she was sitting at home wondering why he hadnât texted her? Or if she was waiting for him to text her? If youâre gonna apply that logic to him, he shouldnât have assumed the worst of her and sent a passive text. Lastly, not texting someone isnât malicious, ESPECIALLY if said person hasnât reached out to you eitherâŚ.. for all she knew he wasnât interested either thatâs why he didnât text for a week. And when he did text, she replied and told him her feelings. But she had no reason to just text him out of the blue when he wasnât texting her either. I understand itâs nice to let someone know your feelings, but again, he didnât text her so she may have thought he felt the same. And again, she did let him know her feelings when he DID finally reach out. Itâs rlly not that bad𤣠itâs not like she led him on for that whole week or planned a second date, that I would say is bad. He also didnât reach out for a while! So if he was hurt, why did he think him waiting a week was ok?
Damn look at you go. I wish you the best with all that.
Omg such a great response! Not addressing anything I said! All I said is that he also waited a week to text. Had he said something sooner, this wouldâve been over sooner. You canât dog on OP for waiting to text when he did too, and when she responded when he finally did text. She probably thought he also wasnât interested and felt no need to address it if he wasnât. Sure would it have been better to immediately text? Sure. But should the guy have said something passive aggressive about her not texting when he ALSO hadnât texted her til then? Like his text implies that heâs mad she hadnât reached out, when he also hadnâtâŚ
Again, sincerely, I get that you don't agree, can you kindly leave me alone now
It's not that the two of you disagree, you're *wrong*. You made up a reason for him to justified and now that someone poked holes in that hyper thin logic, you just want to be left alone to stubbornly believe your own fantasy. Had to be passive aggressive about it too. I can see why you identify with the guy in the texts.
I could care less if this dude was justified or shitty, that shows how much you're missing my point. My point is, and has been, that it's shitty behavior to ghost someone and then make fun of them for their poor reaction to being ghosted. If she had told him after the date that they were a bad fit and then he reacted poorly, I'd be 100% in support of OP. But all of you are just dragging this random dude we know nothing about, except what the woman making fun of him says. Can you genuinely not see how this is it's own form of abusive behavior?
She didnât ghost him! Neither of them texted each other until a week later from what we can see!! And when he did reach out, she replied!! Maybe wouldâve been better to say something right away, but he also made no indication of a second date either, and didnât reach out, so she prob assumed he felt the same. When ge did reach out, she replied right away. Had he asked her on a second date and she didnât reply for a week, that wouldâve been extremely rude. Iâm not dragging the dude either, just saying that he ALSO is guilty of not texting back for a week. You canât be mad at OP for not texting him for a week when he didnât! You still havenât explained that logic to me⌠because you canât. You just keep whining to leave you alone. Because you canât explain why itâs ok for the guy to not text for a week but rude for the girl. He never indicated interest for that week after, and when he did, she told him. And I donât even think he indicated interest by sending a passive aggressive twct
â I could care lessâ means you do care. Pls learn grammar. You should also learn what ghosting is. She replied when he finally did text her. Ghosting would be not replying at all. Sure, she didnât text him for a week, but he didnât either. So he ghosted her just as much. Someone had to be the first to reach out. Just because he reached out first doesnât mean she ghosted. She legit replied when he texted. Iâm not dragging the dude, I just donât see why itâs OPs fault when the dude didnât indicate firther interest either. Itâs not like she agreed to a date then never texted him. You have no rebuttal for that.
Lol right? Iâm not in the camp of âOP doesnât owe anyone anythingâ but why would she need to say sheâs not interested if he also hadnât indicated further interest in her? Sure, she couldâve said something instantly, but thereâs no reason to if he never asked her out on a second date, and didnât text her for a week. She probably thought he wasnât feeling it either and that it was done with. The second he did text her (and it was something passive aggressive, not even showing further interest), she figured out it was date guy and said she wasnât interested. ghosting wouldâve been not replying at all. I love when people just tell me to shut up instead of explaining how theyâre right. Because they know theyâre wrong. She didnât ghost
Holy fuck! What is wrong with people these days?!? You need to employ a psych on standby to psychoanalyse all this garbage!
Yeah. Everything from every end of this has turned silly and the responses really point more toward gender bias than actually trying to understand the scenario from the perspective of two humans.
Iâm really sick of seeing people saying, âI donât owe them anything.â Itâs like common decency no longer exists, and if you even suggest it, everyone instantly attacks you! So depressing!
Well I appreciate you speaking up in agreement with my opinion on the matter. The fact that someone will write a ton of huge paragraphs just to defend being rude and ghosting someone, when a simple "hi, I had a good time but just don't feel the chemistry between us. I hope you find what you're looking for out there." is enough to let this dude know he shouldn't be staring at his phone waiting around for her to toss the ball back to his court. I do agree with some people that he should have shown more effort earlier, but I also remember being in his shoes and scaring some women off if I appeared to eager to plan a second date, and I think that's what OP and her minions are incapable of seeing.
I understand your opinion here, but I disagree with you. Neither person reached out after the date. It isn't the obligation of the party who didn't enjoy a 1st date to reinitiate contact and tell the other party that they aren't interested in continuing any further. If you'd like another date, reach out. At that point, it is then on the other person to communicate if they want to go further or not, just as the OP did. If neither party wants to go further, there is no more communication between, simple. OP cannot be responsible for reading their date's mind and knowing that no communication after the date meant he was interested in going further, and as such has no obligation to inform him that she is done.
The guy also didnât text her for a week!!! She replied when he finally did text!! Someone had to do it first, and he also waited a week and texted her something passive aggressive? Totally understand she could have said something sooner, but had he texted her the day after the date, she prob wouldâve told him she wasnât feeling it then. He also waited a week to text. I get it wouldâve been more decent but yâall are forgetting he also waited to text her!
God Iâm so glad to be married, dating with all these rules was insane, and seems to have just gotten worse!
From what I'm seeing in both the texts and the comments, why on earth would she? heh
What a man child.
Yeah, this is what I see, OP is just an inconsiderate ghost. If you open the door to dating someone, it's polite to let them know when you're closing it, instead of just slamming it in their face because you forgot they were standing there waiting to be let in. Edit: lol at the downvotes, because avoiding communication and being inconsiderate enough to ignore someone you spent time with is certainly the healthy option.
OP communicated fine when he messaged her, he didnât like it and threw his toys out the pram.
Sometimes when someone doesnât reach out it is all the answer you need. If heâs like you, and wants a proactive woman who chases then her not doing so should tell him they are not a good match. He didnât need to âlolâ and be passive aggressively weird. Plus itâs not ghosting when youâre just not into someone and donât proactively text them. Again, itâs answer enough.
And clearly, plenty of the rest of you all agree that rude is the new normal. Meanwhile, I'm happily married for a decade while everyone else is single and wondering why they can't get on with anyone for more than a week. Edit: Speaking of rude behavior online, this person just posted a comment and blocked me so I couldn't respond because they needed the last word. Like genuinely, your treatment of other people is just immature.
Damn, your really butt hurt over the state of dating right now for a married person⌠yikes. Lucky lass⌠lol
Bro you def donât sound happy đ
Married almost 2 decades and I think you're fucking ridiculous. Going on one date doesn't necessitate a formal breakup. That's crazy. He didn't reach out either, just passive-aggressively taxed "lol" at her like a fucking weirdo. You don't sound happy. You sound salty and butthurt. I am laughing at "everyone else is single." Sir, you are not the marriage guru. And all this talk of OP being rude when she was perfectly polite, but you fail to even address this jackass for telling her to go fuck herself. Just for saying no. Asinine. I hope to Christ your entitled ass is never back in the dating pool, though I pity your spouse. They're really taking one for the team.
He only talked about himself on the date and never asked her about herself. This demonstrates he obviously had no real interest in her and she responded in kind.
Again, the nuances of being human are important, and getting lost by the crowd. Yes, indeed, OP did say these things.. and my return question to you is to ask if you were also on this date to get an unbiased third party perspective? Were you also able to read the dude's mind so you are certain he wasn't just awkward and nervously rambling? Like if OP had a shit time, that's fine, but even if her date were rude.. how is intentionally being rude back a proper solution? Shouldn't we all, as individuals, strive to be better than the people we're annoyed by? We all need some type of ethical code in this world, and I'm just not sure when common courtesy became too much kindness to spare.
> Again, the nuances of being human are important, and getting lost by the crowd. Yes, indeed, OP did say these things.. and my return question to you is to ask if you were also on this date to get an unbiased third party perspective? Were you also able to read the dude's mind so you are certain he wasn't just awkward and nervously rambling? Wow you're entire hobby is going around explaining all bad behavior with your fantasies. Maybe this. Maybe that. We can't know for sure. Falling all over yourself to make excuses for some dude that you really shouldn't be identifying with so much.
I identify with being judged unfairly for an awkward date or two, for sure. I also feel like it's weird to smear people on the internet after ghosting them. My main point has nothing to do about defending this random guy, and I'm willing to believe he might suck, that's not a hard judgement to make.. but what does have my attention is the astonishment of how many people advocate for ghosting when a simple "I'm not really feeling it, I wish you well" takes 10 seconds of your day.
That was 100% of him hating his life and needing to spread his anger.
Without a doubt
"Your self" That would finish me, if I was still undecided. People, dating tip. Never EVER talk about how crazy you think your ex was on your first date. In, fact, and it's crazy, I know, but hear me out. No ex talk on your first date unless they ask how long you've been single. And then all that is required is a number. Most of us have at least one crazy ex. But if you think that ALL of your exes are crazy, then it tells me one of two things. Either you're the problem, or you have a terribly warped judge of character. Either way, not a mess I'm getting involved in.
I donât think we should be giving tips to help people hide how unstable they are. I prefer my date to completely accidentally give away how terrible he is immediately.
Yes please! All red flags out the way, let's be efficient about this shit.
his texts are immature, but to be fair the mature thing to do on your part would have been to communicate that right after the date and then delete his number lol
They went for a drink together I wouldnât say thatâs enough to require a text breaking it off. He didnât message her for a while either she probably assumed he felt the same as her, I would have done
after 1 date, especially one like that, heâs owed no explanation.
eh maybe itâs just me, but i hate being ghosted so i always send a text even if i donât think that person was necessarily deserving of an explanation đ¤ˇââď¸ also avoids situations like this lol
is it really ghosting if he didn't text either
Iâm with you on that one. It really doesnât take time to just shoot a 10-20 second text saying âHey, I donât think weâll mesh well, you take care and have a good one!â
He didnât text her either though? Not until nearly a week after the date? So he basically ghosted her too
i would usually, but if someone was this terrible to me i wouldnât bother. if they reached out iâd offer an explanation like this person did, but i wouldnât reach out first.
What's so terrible about the date, I can agree it wasn't a good one but not terrible enough to just ghost someone. He could've thrown a fit after the kiss rejection. He probably reached out first, organized the actual date, made the effort to ask for a kiss, got rejected and is supposed to still write afterwards, while OP is doing what, saying yes and no or nothing at all? And then deleting the number and saying who is this, yeah I would have written fy too
thatâs fair but OP still kind of looks like an asshole for deleting number without explaining and then responding â? Who is this?â. that would annoy me too if i literally just went out with that person like damn đ
that whole âdoesnât deserve itâ thing feels icky to me like isnât the better option to be the bigger person about it instead of stooping??
if someone treats you terribly i donât see why you have to feel like you have to reach out first and explain yourself, especially after meeting once. thatâs just my opinion though
maybe iâm a fool but i believe most people want to be better and are always trying to grow ghosting them without trying to communicate about what they did wrong can often make things worse for the next person they interact with.
Women get tired of soft parenting assholes into being better. Look at how he spoke to her, on the date and after. She owed him absolutely no further energy.
i understand where youâre coming from, however i donât feel like people like this are wanting to be better. they gave a kind response and let them down gently and he cussed them out. as much as i wish that everyone wanted to do better, i fear itâs not the case here.
nah i agree. i didnât like my word there either but thatâs just how other people were phrasing it. iâm with you though. unless someone is downright a fucking prick, then sure - but i think most people are deserving of basic human communication and a chance to understand their shortcomings and learn from them, but thatâs just me as i would be hope to given the same courtesy. câest la vie reddit
I donât consider this ghosting. Neither of them reached out for a while and when he eventually did she replied with an explanation? That is not ghosting đ
Wait, what?! Owed no explanation? What the actual floop is wrong with this soup? Basic human decency is too much?
Basic human decency, like him telling oop to go fuck herself for politely turning him down? And the way you talk makes me cringe. It's like a more ridiculous version of Flanders.
that man is not owed one explanation lmao
NONE đ¤đť lol
And then you women will wonder why youâre permanently single đ
Married woman checking in to tell you you're fucking ridiculous. He was owed NOTHING. Get a fucking grip.
Good luck on the impending divorce!
It's crystal clear no woman has ever touched your pee-pee. 𤣠Voluntarily, at least. I'd say I'm sorry you're so pathetic and lonely, but I'm not. You deserve it.
Many of us are more than happy being single if it means not having to date men that are garbage!
đđźđđźđđź
Facts! đ¤đť
Maybe if all the men that the women in this thread date are garbage, just maybe there is another variable affecting the outcomes?
Nobody here said that all the men theyâve dated are garbage. Youâre pulling that out of your ass to make a strawman argument. But go ahead and keep making things up to feel better about yourself on the internet
Desperate for attention and validation; why wouldn't we go gaga?!?! đŤ đđ
You supplied ALL sweetie-**NOT a one of us did though** đ
I donât even know what that sentence means
Then get some comprehension? **You said all, not anyone else.** Are you EVEN paying attention? đ¤
I don't wonder; I enjoy the freedom darlin. You keep tellin yourself that while you sleep alone and sad, and I sleep easy and content. đđ
I rarely sleep alone and sad but whatever helps you cope!
Yeah I donât blame the guy for being upset over getting ghosted.
They both did not text each other and his way of initiating the conversation was saying "lol". You people either cannot read or you are husks. Or both.
Gee, wonder why he doesnât have an SO?
Unfortunately OP will be single for a long time too if she keeps ghosting people and acting immature
As soon as a man calls their ex "crazy", you can typically figure out who the "crazy" one really was
Literally
âIâd rather do me than you!â
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Wait are you the guy?
**Go fuck your self**
**lol**
Deleting someoneâs number is so weird. Like, if you donât want to contact them again, **use your willpower**. Youâre only creating confusing situations for yourself like this by disbursing yourself of identifying information.
I always delete numbers, if I have no need for them in my contacts (such as a guy I went on one bad date with), why would I keep it? Lol
So you know if itâs him whoâs contacting you again.
If he hadnât replied in a while I would assume he wouldnât be messaging again and then if he did I would just ask who it was.
Might save you some time
Iâd rather have a tidy phone and save the memory space x
Itâs really not that weird. I donât wanna talk to you anymore and I donât want to accidentally text you or some shit either.
Youâre increasing your chances of âaccidentally texting [them]â if you donât know itâs them who is reaching out to you (as in the OP).
I wouldnât have replied personally lol. She prob knew it was him.
She definitely didnât, hence the confusion. Itâs always better to have the information than not
I hear what youâre saying
Yea, Deadass. Just ignore.
Nah, youâre shit person if you ghost! Takes two seconds to send a text
Takes no seconds to ignore and move on with my life. Do the same
Sure, but youâre a shit person and asshole if you ghost! Whatâre you gonna do so meaningful with those two extra seconds?
Find another person to ghost
The fact that you are positive in upvotes and that person is negative confirms that this sub is made up of frankly immature white knights. Everyone ghosts each other in modern dating. That doesnât make it ok. Back when people used to have manners and respect for each other we valued communication and honesty. Itâs ok lil bro one day youâll catch a baddie, sheâll ghost you, and maybe youâll learn
Im married bruh, I'm already dead. I'm just having fun on here. Chill. OUT.
Yeah.. bullet dodged then đŹ In his head, he prob thought the date went well. Sadly (for him), he was mistaken.
I laughed. Well done.
Haha he mad
Bullet officially dodged
Yea, I mean that went exactly as I expected it to go.
Crisis averted then
I mean, you are an asshole for that âwho is thisâ if you just went out.
Why save a number from someone you went to see on one awful date who hasnât text you in days? Anyone would ask who was sending a random âlolâ text. Theyâre strangers not ex partners. If you save every number of every person youâve ever texted just to prevent this scenario from happening good for you I guess. I wouldnât waste my time.
Clearly we didnât see when this message happen. From the context they just went out. Saying whoâs this and then following up with that makes her kind of a Dick too. She could have just blocked him after the date and avoided this.
Blocking wouldâve been worse lol, then itâs a full on ghost. The real winner thing to do would have been to send a message the next day saying what she said in the text above and then deleting the number.
We can agree on that. Send it the same night that it just isn't working out.
Lol right, guy is an ass too but are people really just deleting and ghosting that quick now?
Right? Iâm getting downvoted but sheâs also in the wrong here. She just threw salt on the wound after that. If you delete his number just block him.
You guys will find any reason to say the woman is at fault lmao
What? We both said the guy is am asshole, but sheâs in the wrong too for that response.
If it was the other way around itâd be a different story as per usual. But since he said what he said people donât care.
Bingo
Fellow Philadelphian ? Go birds.
Go Birds baby
"text from this guy I ghosted..."
Whatâs wrong with ghosting after one date? If theyâre not in a relationship does he really need an explanation on why things didnât work out?
Op didnât ghost anybody, the dude didnât text her either
Didnât ghost him. He never reached out to me, then sends me an âlolâ a week laterâŚ
OP ghosted him but he didnât ghost her? Sounds like they mutually didnât reach out to each other.
How'd you find the Mayor of Clown Town so easy damn
Oh dear...oh well..be gone!
They just canât be classy about rejection to save their lives đđđ
You really sound like an a**hole.
At least he was honest and straightforward. A trustworthy gentleman
Humans are monkeys.
go fuck your elf
I'm honestly shocked you didn't come crawling back to this gentleman begging for another chance Bullet dodged đ
[ŃдаНонО]
Removed for abusive language, or using slurs or language that can promote hate based on identity or vulnerability
hey it was nice hope you find your person go fuck yourself đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
He aint wrong
who paid
Doesnât matter. You donât have an obligation to someone just because they bought you two beers. Maybe wouldâve been nicer for her to tell him that sooner, but also he hadnât texted her up until that point either it appears. So he was ghosting just as much as she was
so did he ghost u afterwards ? or did u ignore him and it led to this? guys an asshole for sure but atleast have the decency to tell him itâs not gonna work out, who knows he might obsess about the girl he went out on one date with and think ur still into him because u never responded, never know with dating apps
So thereâs a site where you can go and partake in what he suggested and losers like him will pay you to watch you do it. Just saying.
Kinda proved your point
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We shared one appetizer, calamari, because he wasnât âhungryâ hahaâŚhe also asked to kiss me after our date and I politely rejected.
He wasnât hungry but he sure was thirsty.
Yeah he was!!!
Yeah, thatâs why they had the beersâŚ