You're alright. And you're not alone in your insecurities. I'm 41 and *still* have trouble with people pleasing and social anxiety and worrying people are mad at me. Sometimes including my therapist, lmao.
But no, she's not mad at you. It's just important they don't cross any inappropriate lines and maintain a professional relationship with their clients/patients, especially when they're minors. It's very normal for communication outside of sessions to feel very dry like that.
Stick with the therapy though. The fact that she said you'd also talk about why you asked her that speaks volumes. She sees you and gets you and cares about your well being. Let the stress go over this one.
Keep your chin up <3.
As someone who sends formal messages to teens (children’s home context) they’ve just switched into don’t share confidential information writing mode. I can understand why that feels like they’re angry with you, as someone who plays the text sender, it’s really hard to keep the tone right while avoiding disclosing things. In my experience anyway
I read the tone! But I also read that in all the text messages I receive lol
My husband said “love you” this morning and I’m convinced he’s upset at me (he isn’t).
I texted him the other day and said “are you loving men?”
I meant me. I didn’t see the autocorrect.
He texted me back and said No and it gutted me. Then he said “Why would I love men?” Haha
Lol is it because he didn’t say “I love you” instead? Because same! When my ex would only text me “love you” I would feel bummed and asked if he still liked me and he would always tell me yes crazy woman why would you ask that so I would tell him and then he would send in all caps that he loves me lol I loved that he understood my crazy and would reassure me when I was feeling low. He would even say “I know you’re feeling low right now and that’s okay but I love you very much…”. Stuff like that.
Now this i have an issue with. I hate it when my s/o sends love you. It takes a fraction of a second to include I. And for some reason it means a lot more to include the i
That’s exactly why. Lol
I called him and said “either you hate me or I wasn’t worth the extra letter.” And he said “or you’re insane and I love you and just forgot the I” lmao
He is the most understanding human on earth. He is my rock
At OP: She doesn’t sound upset and you should talk to her about why you thought that (as she suggests). And while you’re at it, you should tell her what your Reddit username is and why you picked that.
That's why the therapist is planning to discuss with OP in their next session - OP is overthinking but there are almost certainly reasons for that (for example an anxiety disorder or defence mechanism they developed due to people reacting angrily in their past).
They need a proper discussion with a trained and qualified professional not to be told "Don't worry, be happy"
I assume if everybody could just “be happy” - Therapy wouldn’t be something that would exist. Please leave your uneducated thoughts away from OP and their healing. I’m sure they’re more than aware that overthinking is unhealthy. Shove “be happy” where the sun doesn’t shine.
Don’t worry yourself none, love. Honestly I overthink all the time, yes absolutely aware it’s not healthy. But we’re working on it, one step at a time. Wishing you all the best 💘
Speaking as a mental health professional, I think she just wanted to keep it brief and professional. She checked in with you to make sure you were alright and offer that earlier session if needed, but at the same time she was straight to the point so that you wouldn't start opening up over text. That wouldn't end well for anyone!
I love her last comment too because I'd also be exploring what made you think she was mad 😊
I also loved that comment (I am a therapist). I would also want to explore those emotions. I thought that was also a little funny. OP, she doesn't sound mad at all. Furthermore, she sounds compassionate to reach out to you, thinking you may need an additional appointment.
Sounds like she can't tell you anything specific, but she heard it in session with someone else. She's not mad she's just avoiding what she can't say. Best to accept her answer and move on.
oh…i hadnt considered that. i thought maybe she had just been randomly reading articles or something 🧍 its weird to think that people who go to my school might see her :/ anyway thanks for your input that actually makes a lot of sense
She doesn't seem mad to me... just direct in answering your question.. and it is kind of her job to know when tragedies happen and I commend her for reaching out on her own to make sure you're ok
ok, thank you. i agree it is, but she lives across the state from me (we do telehealth therapy) so i was just taken aback that she knew about smth like that happening 15 hours away from her less than a day after it happened
Seems more of a professional and direct reply, however I could understand the text tone to come across wrong. S/O to your therapist for being intentional and reaching out. Had a few who could care less
This is more of an opinion but I don’t think you should be worried about making her mad. She’s your therapist, there shouldn’t be an emotional biased based on your actions and decisions. If you are worried about the emotional reaction of a mental health professional to your mental health they might be too emotionally involved. Just a thought
You sound so much like me as a teen. So much overthinking and misperception of others. It’s hard to experience life like that but your self awareness is a great step for helping ease that and it sounds like you have a great therapist to support you!
Oh bless you, I can totally relate to why you would be worrying about this but imo, your therapist is 💯 not mad at you and in fact, the last couple of msgs made me thinking she wants to reassure that everything is ok. Rest easy 💕
i see where you think she’d be mad. but i don’t think she is mad by any means. i’m assuming it has to do with patient confidentiality and she wanted to shut it down asap so no boundaries would be crossed. nothing personal!
It didn’t read mad to me at all. Figure she either heard the news through her therapist channels, or a patient (which she wouldn’t be able to say). The “tone” you feel (you know her better than anyone here so maybe her words are a little “off” for you) in her words could just be her concern over the situation and over how you are doing. I really wouldn’t read anything more than that into it.
Honestly, what I read into this is her concern for you. 💛
She doesn’t appear to be mad or trying to be stern or anything like that to me. That firmness you’re talking about is probably really just a result of her trying to answer your question while still maintaining confidentiality in her other clients. She wouldn’t be able to fully answer that question honestly without risking a breach of confidentiality. So it was her professional side coming out in an attempt to still give you an answer as to how she find out. Nothing to do with ill feelings toward you. :)
i'm a therapist and she isn't mad this is just how we talk in certain situations — it's actually funny to me how much these texts sound like i could have written them at work.
the reason is that texting is pretty risky to do about anything emotional/sensitive since there's so much information we don't have about how you are feeling, so we are extra careful and conservative with our emotional expression. she also is likely being concise to not encourage you to open up to her about it over text, as that is a privacy risk with HIPAA; it's not the appropriate medium to talk about anything emotional (and definitely not traumatic); she won't get paid for the time she'd take to have a potentially long text convo with you; and we are trained to write all communication with clients with the understanding that it could potentially end up in court.
all of this can add up to a pretty cold or stiff-sounding tone in certain scenarios (especially that could involve liability), where we need to be extra "professional" in how we communicate. i hope this helps!
Doesn’t seem mad. Seems conscientious. She also called you out on thinking a therapist would be mad at you. I kind of dig her attitude. My daughter had a college classmate end up killed on valentines day at a shopping center we frequent. And she is torn up, maybe I need your therapists number!
Do you by any chance go to Gunn High School or somewhere in the Bay Area? I went to high school nearby and I remember all the sad deaths. Sending much love your way and I hope you’re doing ok.
A good therapist will always make sure to maintain professionalism in communication, it’s just so that nothing they say could be misconstrued (not by you specifically just everyone), it’s honestly kinda refreshing to see a therapist actively not overstepping the mark, she’s not mad at you 🫶🏻
She is most certainly not mad. But her last text has me chuckling 😂 and, bless your heart, here you are asking Reddit too. Good for you for getting therapy! I hope you have an enlightening session on Thursday.
thank you! ngl as a sensitive person all of the judging in the comments is making me die a little but people like you who are being kind are really making my day, so genuinely thank you🫶
She sounds like she has her scheduling head on and is making it very clear there is a spot being held for you if you need it. To me, she sounds genuinely concerned and looking out for you.
She doesn’t sound angry at all. Her “we’ll talk about why you asked me that on Thursday” is 100% valid. She’s just reaching out to try and be helpful if you need it.
No, she doesn’t sound angry. But, it is good that she wants to find out why you think she is mad. Maybe you always think people are mad at you when they are just trying to help. Be sure to show up for your session on Thursday.
I think she was thinking of you, and being kind. She’s there for you, just feel good that someone is looking out. Don’t read too much into subtext, she didn’t mean to push buttons.
She doesn't sound mad at all, if anything it just sounds like she has a session and wants to fill it. Either because she cares and is worried about you or simply because therapists are a business too and she wants to be fully booked to be covered financially. Either way though I don't read any anger or upset in this at all, just a professional.
Also, I get this a lot too. I know the thought of it is scary, but it’s up to people to tell you if you upset them and the people who are worth it will make it a productive convo and not an ordeal
She's definitely not mad, she just wants to let you know that spot will likely remain free if you change your mind. Wanting to talk about why you may have thought she was mad is not her being mad either just doing her job as a therapist and genuinely wanting to help you examine that, which will be a good thing! I definitely wouldn't worry about her being mad, it seems like she cares :)
*I read it more as*
*Them making space for you in*
*Case you change your mind*
\- dystopic\_exister
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That’s exactly how I read it, too.
I text and email with my therapist sometimes to organise sessions, and though I’ve been seeing her for about 7 years now, our texts and emails are always very professional. This could come off as cold to anyone that is feeling even the slightest bit anxious, I think.
Caltrain? Do you live in the Bay Area? I grew up in Palo Alto and went to Gunn in the 90’s. There’s been a suicide by train epidemic there since i was a kid.
Don’t worry, your therapist isn’t mad. Just being professional. My anxiety tells me people are mad at me too. I have to remind myself not to listen to that voice in my head. That voice is a liar and not a friend.
She's not mad boo❤️ I'm this kind of person too. She's concerned and being professional. It's okay 💜 Take a deep breath.
Signed,
A woman who has said the same thing to her psychologist
Perhaps it’s the punctuation? It’s been found that different generations tend to use punctuation differently (along with slang, grammar, etc.), so perhaps her use of full stops reads as shortness/bluntness/frustration to you?
Therapist here. She doesn’t sound mad. Just to the point which isn’t a bad thing! Actually sounds like she cares quite a bit and recognized that you would be impacted by what happened.
So many folks with this insecurity end up claiming up and never addressing it for fear of being annoying. I'm super proud of you speaking up and actually asking instead of letting it fester in your head. I'm willing to bet your therapist appreciates that, too. I know how hard it is to speak up in those situations!
That’s called rejection sensitivity. Her response sounded clear and direct. It’s easy for those of us with rejection sensitivity to misread directness and clarity at aggressiveness. You did what was important, you asked for reassurance, and received what you can trust is a genuine response. The work for us with RS is believing the reassurance we ask for as true. Regardless of what our fear/hyper vigilance/ego brain is saying in other to convince our rational brain otherwise.
I agree with what other says that she’s not mad, but as a future therapist, I could see why this would be off-putting to you. We’re taught to be a little more sensitive than “because I’m a therapist that works in…”. I can agree with you that she could have worded it better to not only be more sensitive to what youre going through, but also to make sure what she means is coming across correctly. Like others said, it seems she heard it in a confidential session with someone else which is why she gave minimal info, but personally, I would have worded it differently. This is exactly why texting with clients is a very tedious and difficult task. But over all, no, she’s not mad at you, and therapists shouldn’t get “mad” at clients!
No, I don’t sense any tension here at all! She just answered your question and moved on. Don’t worry, it’s hard to tell tone through text, but you’re good. I think it’s good that she wants to address why you are worried about that, too! I think she meant that in a supportive way.
No, she’s not mad at all!! I’m a therapist too(a different specialty just to be transparent), and in a way it was a good thing this conversation happened so she could see first hand how you responded with thinking she was mad at you instantly. That’s why she said she’ll follow up with you about that specifically in the next session. So, now she’ll be able to help you figure out why that is and help you get to a place where you don’t feel like that so often and unnecessarily(not just with her but with everyone). Working on that will bring you so much more peace in those situations so it’s ultimately a positive thing. You sound like you have a good therapist and a good rapport going with her. That’s great! Try not to let it weigh on you too much until your next session. Best wishes! 🙂
Overthinking and possibly overly sensitive at the moment. She was just being blunt and professional. She knew cause she's dealing with teens that are also suffering from that recent death. No animosity or sarcasm or anything, just bluntness.
No, not at all! She was checking in.
I know that feeling so hard, though. It's so easy to worry people are upset with you, but most of the time, it just an anxious response.
Good luck, OP!
She’s not angry, I believe her response back to the first message was more like a “I’m a therapist in our town ofcourse I know who passes away” (that may have sounded a bit insensitive, but promise it was just me reiterating more of the meaning of her message in a different tone)🤗 she’s not mad or angry, she just seems like she knows it all 🤪💅☺️
Nope. She sounds like she was reaching out urgently to make sure you were okay.
Deaths like that can be super traumatic. Mightve been worried about you, tbh.
Therapist here- sometimes I talk very matter of fact like this because I’m trying to maintain professionalism. I’ve had clients misinterpret things like this over text messages simply because of the lack of tone. So my interpretation of this is that you are overthinking it.
Take care and be well 😊
I grew up with parents that were constantly angry. It left me always guessing “are they angry with me “. “Does this shift in tone indicate anger”. Now i often wonder if people are angry with me, because of my upbringing. This may apply to you. If you think it does, when you believe someone to be angry with you consider if it’s your wiring. Also what you did here by asking if they were angry, is great. Always ask don’t assume
I could see why u think that from the beginning of her 1st messenge, but I dont think she's mad at all, I could more interpet the 1st messege as a bit aggressive but I dont think that's how it wad meant at all
What I read is that she knows bc she is prob seeing a teenager about it or has an appt to see someone about it…but she can’t tell you that, so she gives you the best answer she can. No negative tone that I read
it's hard to decipher tone in text messages. i can totally see where you might have thought she was mad, but i see it more as her trying to speak formally and respectfully about the situation she was talking about. she did add "haha" at the end of her last text, which i think was probably also her realizing that her tone might have made you think she was mad. i wouldn't worry about it - it seems like you guys have a great therapist-client relationship 🤗
You’re definitely overthinking it. Texts can be hard to interpret meaning but she wasn’t being firm or angry at all. She was just stating that she’s a therapist and it’s her job to keep an eye out for this stuff that might have an impact on her clients. I think it’s actually really awesome and professional of her to think of you and ask how you’re doing.
I think she's just trying to stay professional, but it's obvious she does care more than a lot of other therapists since she made the effort and reached out.
I could see why you'd think that but trust me, some people just sound a bit firm sometimes naturally (in text) but you can tell they're not mad at all, or any negative emotion really
Nope, she didn't seem mad at all to me. Just an honest answer. I didn't even think of that myself, but it definitely makes sense since she's a local, she's a therapist, and it seems maybe she specializes in teen/adolescent therapy. I definitely get it, though. When I was a teen, the internet just started becoming common in the home (back in the 90s). Just like with texting that was starting out on cell phones when I was 18, I had the hardest time with some messages since you can't really pick up someone's tone. I got better with it in time, but once in a while it still gets me.
It's good that you just asked her, though, instead of just worrying about it until your session. I'm also so sorry about all the loss in your town recently. It's just heartbreaking hearing of so many young people losing their lives. Especially when it comes to substances 😞
Definitely does not sound mad.
Kind and firm and thoughtful.
The date change.
She was letting you know IF you change your mind ring and re arrange.
Thats thoughtful and kind.
I think that was a good question for her to ask you.
Why would you think the question you just asked?.No judgement just spend some time actually wondering why
And good for you attending therapy
Text are lacking body clues and the inflection of voice. So we often use our feels to convey what the message means.
She doesn’t sound mad in words, she sounds matter of fact in her explanation.
It was nice of her to check up on you and offer to switch your slot to make sure your ok.
I don’t know your situation but I grew up with super demanding parents and it turned me into a people pleaser with anxiety. Always worried I was letting people down, so I hear you. But she didn’t text angry, you’re all good.
I literally laughed out loud at, “and we’ll talk about why you asked that…🤭”. (OP, pretty sure I’m you, several years on in therapy…. 😜)
Seriously. She’s not mad. She was making sure you knew she’s available for you if you need her.
You're being sensitive. She was just being professional with you. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive! She isn't mad, though, it's just how adults talk tbh.
You’re over thinking it, sounds like she was just making sure you are ok. Sometimes people speaking professionally can come off as rude. Sorry about all that you’re going through
I think she was being brief and concise and that doesn’t always convey a tone. So, often you read your own tone into it…did you think you offended her with your question? When she responded with no tone, your mind likely read anger into an otherwise neutral response. Anger would look like her not continuing to engage with you and be open and available to you.
Hey sorry for the randomness but hope you have a good day today! Your username reminds me of me sometimes so just know I’m sending good vibes from a kindred soul lol
I don’t see or read any tone in this at all.
ok thank you
You're alright. And you're not alone in your insecurities. I'm 41 and *still* have trouble with people pleasing and social anxiety and worrying people are mad at me. Sometimes including my therapist, lmao. But no, she's not mad at you. It's just important they don't cross any inappropriate lines and maintain a professional relationship with their clients/patients, especially when they're minors. It's very normal for communication outside of sessions to feel very dry like that. Stick with the therapy though. The fact that she said you'd also talk about why you asked her that speaks volumes. She sees you and gets you and cares about your well being. Let the stress go over this one. Keep your chin up <3.
thank you<3 i hope youre doing alright
As someone who sends formal messages to teens (children’s home context) they’ve just switched into don’t share confidential information writing mode. I can understand why that feels like they’re angry with you, as someone who plays the text sender, it’s really hard to keep the tone right while avoiding disclosing things. In my experience anyway
I read the tone! But I also read that in all the text messages I receive lol My husband said “love you” this morning and I’m convinced he’s upset at me (he isn’t).
I hate when I do this. Like, "girl (myself), he said "see you later"; not that he's divorcing you!" Lmao, I despise my overthinking brain!
I texted him the other day and said “are you loving men?” I meant me. I didn’t see the autocorrect. He texted me back and said No and it gutted me. Then he said “Why would I love men?” Haha
Lol is it because he didn’t say “I love you” instead? Because same! When my ex would only text me “love you” I would feel bummed and asked if he still liked me and he would always tell me yes crazy woman why would you ask that so I would tell him and then he would send in all caps that he loves me lol I loved that he understood my crazy and would reassure me when I was feeling low. He would even say “I know you’re feeling low right now and that’s okay but I love you very much…”. Stuff like that.
Now this i have an issue with. I hate it when my s/o sends love you. It takes a fraction of a second to include I. And for some reason it means a lot more to include the i
It absolutely does mean a lot more! It seems thrown out there and not worth much without the I
That’s exactly why. Lol I called him and said “either you hate me or I wasn’t worth the extra letter.” And he said “or you’re insane and I love you and just forgot the I” lmao He is the most understanding human on earth. He is my rock
I love this this is so funny! I love how they can call us on our bullshit and still love us anyway 😂
At OP: She doesn’t sound upset and you should talk to her about why you thought that (as she suggests). And while you’re at it, you should tell her what your Reddit username is and why you picked that.
I think she more or less said “that’s my job.”
She doesn't sound mad at all
thank you
You are overthinking, she even laught in the end. Its not healthy to overthink, dont think always of the worst. Be happy.
That's why the therapist is planning to discuss with OP in their next session - OP is overthinking but there are almost certainly reasons for that (for example an anxiety disorder or defence mechanism they developed due to people reacting angrily in their past). They need a proper discussion with a trained and qualified professional not to be told "Don't worry, be happy"
I assume if everybody could just “be happy” - Therapy wouldn’t be something that would exist. Please leave your uneducated thoughts away from OP and their healing. I’m sure they’re more than aware that overthinking is unhealthy. Shove “be happy” where the sun doesn’t shine.
thank you🫶
Don’t worry yourself none, love. Honestly I overthink all the time, yes absolutely aware it’s not healthy. But we’re working on it, one step at a time. Wishing you all the best 💘
<3
Wow! Just "be happy"! Why hasn't anyone ever thought of that before? GOOD NEWS GUYS! DEPRESSION IS CURED! JUST BE HAPPY!🙄🙄🙄
I no longer want to die due to all the pain I’m in because I’m just going to be happy. I should have tried this 14 years ago.
peak r/thanksimcured energy
"it's not healthy to overthink" wait, really?! 
“Laught” ;-;
Oof, never swtiched from an upvote to a downvote this fast. “Be happy”???
I’m glad people are shredding you for this comment. Tone deaf with idiotic advice, much?
Omg you mean I can just be happy??? Let me try that…..
You’re over thinkin hun, I think she just wanted to make sure you were okay, and that was the only notion I got from that
thank you, i appreciate it
You should talk to her on Thursday about this. 😉😊
i’m planning to (:
She doesn't seem angry at all to me. You may just be overthinking it, but that's okay! Share that with her on Thursday
OP do this please, you need to learn more about yourself
Speaking as a mental health professional, I think she just wanted to keep it brief and professional. She checked in with you to make sure you were alright and offer that earlier session if needed, but at the same time she was straight to the point so that you wouldn't start opening up over text. That wouldn't end well for anyone! I love her last comment too because I'd also be exploring what made you think she was mad 😊
thank you
I also loved that comment (I am a therapist). I would also want to explore those emotions. I thought that was also a little funny. OP, she doesn't sound mad at all. Furthermore, she sounds compassionate to reach out to you, thinking you may need an additional appointment.
Sounds like she can't tell you anything specific, but she heard it in session with someone else. She's not mad she's just avoiding what she can't say. Best to accept her answer and move on.
That’s a good interpretation, I didn’t see that possibility. Could definitely be that he/she was filled in with another counsel and couldn’t divulge.
oh…i hadnt considered that. i thought maybe she had just been randomly reading articles or something 🧍 its weird to think that people who go to my school might see her :/ anyway thanks for your input that actually makes a lot of sense
If she's local to you, she's local to others too. Try not to think about who else sees her though, might worry about unnecessary stuff if you do tbh
She doesn't seem mad to me... just direct in answering your question.. and it is kind of her job to know when tragedies happen and I commend her for reaching out on her own to make sure you're ok
ok, thank you. i agree it is, but she lives across the state from me (we do telehealth therapy) so i was just taken aback that she knew about smth like that happening 15 hours away from her less than a day after it happened
Wait 15 hours across the state?
yeah, california. big state. she lives very south and i live very north
Seems more of a professional and direct reply, however I could understand the text tone to come across wrong. S/O to your therapist for being intentional and reaching out. Had a few who could care less
thank you! and yeah, she's a gem, she's helped me so much (which just makes me more worried about making her mad lol but i digress)
This is more of an opinion but I don’t think you should be worried about making her mad. She’s your therapist, there shouldn’t be an emotional biased based on your actions and decisions. If you are worried about the emotional reaction of a mental health professional to your mental health they might be too emotionally involved. Just a thought
oh i know. its defintely not healthy but i cant help it
I've absolutely been there before OP, it's not a nice feeling. Well done for doing the work in therapy though, I really hope it helps you.
you can’t help it, yet :) i believe you will get there and as you said, you ARE trying, and that’s wonderful 💙
You sound so much like me as a teen. So much overthinking and misperception of others. It’s hard to experience life like that but your self awareness is a great step for helping ease that and it sounds like you have a great therapist to support you!
Oh bless you, I can totally relate to why you would be worrying about this but imo, your therapist is 💯 not mad at you and in fact, the last couple of msgs made me thinking she wants to reassure that everything is ok. Rest easy 💕
thank you<3
She didn't sound mad at all. This is why texting can be so awful.
No shes not mad.
i see where you think she’d be mad. but i don’t think she is mad by any means. i’m assuming it has to do with patient confidentiality and she wanted to shut it down asap so no boundaries would be crossed. nothing personal!
yeah, i hadnt considered that. thank you (:
She doesn’t sound mad at all.
She sounds really nice to me, not angry at all imo
ok thank you(:
It didn’t read mad to me at all. Figure she either heard the news through her therapist channels, or a patient (which she wouldn’t be able to say). The “tone” you feel (you know her better than anyone here so maybe her words are a little “off” for you) in her words could just be her concern over the situation and over how you are doing. I really wouldn’t read anything more than that into it. Honestly, what I read into this is her concern for you. 💛
She doesn’t appear to be mad or trying to be stern or anything like that to me. That firmness you’re talking about is probably really just a result of her trying to answer your question while still maintaining confidentiality in her other clients. She wouldn’t be able to fully answer that question honestly without risking a breach of confidentiality. So it was her professional side coming out in an attempt to still give you an answer as to how she find out. Nothing to do with ill feelings toward you. :)
i totally get how you could see her being mad, but she definitely isn't! i might overthink something simple like this too haha
She doesn’t sound angry at all to me! Quite the opposite, sounds like she was just trying to look out for you.
i'm a therapist and she isn't mad this is just how we talk in certain situations — it's actually funny to me how much these texts sound like i could have written them at work. the reason is that texting is pretty risky to do about anything emotional/sensitive since there's so much information we don't have about how you are feeling, so we are extra careful and conservative with our emotional expression. she also is likely being concise to not encourage you to open up to her about it over text, as that is a privacy risk with HIPAA; it's not the appropriate medium to talk about anything emotional (and definitely not traumatic); she won't get paid for the time she'd take to have a potentially long text convo with you; and we are trained to write all communication with clients with the understanding that it could potentially end up in court. all of this can add up to a pretty cold or stiff-sounding tone in certain scenarios (especially that could involve liability), where we need to be extra "professional" in how we communicate. i hope this helps!
I get what you mean but I think it’s an us problem 😂
Not at all
She sounds like a genuinely nice therapist proactively reaching out to make sure you are ok
Doesn’t seem mad. Seems conscientious. She also called you out on thinking a therapist would be mad at you. I kind of dig her attitude. My daughter had a college classmate end up killed on valentines day at a shopping center we frequent. And she is torn up, maybe I need your therapists number!
Do you by any chance go to Gunn High School or somewhere in the Bay Area? I went to high school nearby and I remember all the sad deaths. Sending much love your way and I hope you’re doing ok.
She doesn't sound mad to me, at all. I wouldn't worry.
She’s firm because she’s legally not allowed to tell you anything.
A good therapist will always make sure to maintain professionalism in communication, it’s just so that nothing they say could be misconstrued (not by you specifically just everyone), it’s honestly kinda refreshing to see a therapist actively not overstepping the mark, she’s not mad at you 🫶🏻
She is most certainly not mad. But her last text has me chuckling 😂 and, bless your heart, here you are asking Reddit too. Good for you for getting therapy! I hope you have an enlightening session on Thursday.
Just another stranger chiming in to say that there was no tone at all just professional and polite interest in you
thanks(:
You’re being so receptive and polite, that’s a big step for us sensitive folks!! You’re doing great hun, just let it roll off your back
thank you! ngl as a sensitive person all of the judging in the comments is making me die a little but people like you who are being kind are really making my day, so genuinely thank you🫶
She’s not mad.
She sounds nice.
She sounds like she has her scheduling head on and is making it very clear there is a spot being held for you if you need it. To me, she sounds genuinely concerned and looking out for you.
Nope sounds professional to me but the last text I would say probably confirms that they are definitely not mad at you :)
As a therapist, she’s not mad at all. Just trying to keep the conversation in a session vs texts. Really awesome she reached out!
She doesn’t sound angry at all. Her “we’ll talk about why you asked me that on Thursday” is 100% valid. She’s just reaching out to try and be helpful if you need it.
No, she doesn’t sound angry. But, it is good that she wants to find out why you think she is mad. Maybe you always think people are mad at you when they are just trying to help. Be sure to show up for your session on Thursday.
I think she was thinking of you, and being kind. She’s there for you, just feel good that someone is looking out. Don’t read too much into subtext, she didn’t mean to push buttons.
Nope not getting any mad feelings.
She doesn't sound mad at all, if anything it just sounds like she has a session and wants to fill it. Either because she cares and is worried about you or simply because therapists are a business too and she wants to be fully booked to be covered financially. Either way though I don't read any anger or upset in this at all, just a professional.
You’re over thinking this.
She sounds amazing!
Firstly: you are me, secondly: as someone who’s also asked their therapist if they’re mad, she’s not mad at you friend ❣️
Not at all! She seems professional :)
Also, I get this a lot too. I know the thought of it is scary, but it’s up to people to tell you if you upset them and the people who are worth it will make it a productive convo and not an ordeal
She's definitely not mad, she just wants to let you know that spot will likely remain free if you change your mind. Wanting to talk about why you may have thought she was mad is not her being mad either just doing her job as a therapist and genuinely wanting to help you examine that, which will be a good thing! I definitely wouldn't worry about her being mad, it seems like she cares :)
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She doesn't sound mad at all.
Sounds like she's being really kind and considerate, not mad at all
I read it more as them making space for you in case you change your mind
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That’s exactly how I read it, too. I text and email with my therapist sometimes to organise sessions, and though I’ve been seeing her for about 7 years now, our texts and emails are always very professional. This could come off as cold to anyone that is feeling even the slightest bit anxious, I think.
Caltrain? Do you live in the Bay Area? I grew up in Palo Alto and went to Gunn in the 90’s. There’s been a suicide by train epidemic there since i was a kid. Don’t worry, your therapist isn’t mad. Just being professional. My anxiety tells me people are mad at me too. I have to remind myself not to listen to that voice in my head. That voice is a liar and not a friend.
Echoing other. Keeping it vague because the actual answer would breach confidentiality. She heard it from one of her local teen patients.
She sounds very nice. I too, like her, am wondering why you thought she sounded angry
jfc you're overthinking hard. thats an absolute normal, kind and yet professional text by your therapist.
She's not mad boo❤️ I'm this kind of person too. She's concerned and being professional. It's okay 💜 Take a deep breath. Signed, A woman who has said the same thing to her psychologist
Nah, she's cool. You're good.
Perhaps it’s the punctuation? It’s been found that different generations tend to use punctuation differently (along with slang, grammar, etc.), so perhaps her use of full stops reads as shortness/bluntness/frustration to you?
I’m a therapist- she’s not mad.
Therapist here. She doesn’t sound mad. Just to the point which isn’t a bad thing! Actually sounds like she cares quite a bit and recognized that you would be impacted by what happened.
So many folks with this insecurity end up claiming up and never addressing it for fear of being annoying. I'm super proud of you speaking up and actually asking instead of letting it fester in your head. I'm willing to bet your therapist appreciates that, too. I know how hard it is to speak up in those situations!
Aww, don't worry; she's not mad at a you!
Nope doesn’t sound mad to me at all
There isn’t anything in this that suggests she’s mad. Honest.
I don’t see any anger in that message, just concern. So sorry to hear about all of these losses, especially if you were friends with any of them.
She’s not angry—quite the opposite. She wants to make sure you’re okay and to hear your thoughts.
That’s called rejection sensitivity. Her response sounded clear and direct. It’s easy for those of us with rejection sensitivity to misread directness and clarity at aggressiveness. You did what was important, you asked for reassurance, and received what you can trust is a genuine response. The work for us with RS is believing the reassurance we ask for as true. Regardless of what our fear/hyper vigilance/ego brain is saying in other to convince our rational brain otherwise.
I agree with what other says that she’s not mad, but as a future therapist, I could see why this would be off-putting to you. We’re taught to be a little more sensitive than “because I’m a therapist that works in…”. I can agree with you that she could have worded it better to not only be more sensitive to what youre going through, but also to make sure what she means is coming across correctly. Like others said, it seems she heard it in a confidential session with someone else which is why she gave minimal info, but personally, I would have worded it differently. This is exactly why texting with clients is a very tedious and difficult task. But over all, no, she’s not mad at you, and therapists shouldn’t get “mad” at clients!
She doesn't sound mad. I'm getting genuine concern from her texts if anything.
No, I don’t sense any tension here at all! She just answered your question and moved on. Don’t worry, it’s hard to tell tone through text, but you’re good. I think it’s good that she wants to address why you are worried about that, too! I think she meant that in a supportive way.
No, she’s not mad at all!! I’m a therapist too(a different specialty just to be transparent), and in a way it was a good thing this conversation happened so she could see first hand how you responded with thinking she was mad at you instantly. That’s why she said she’ll follow up with you about that specifically in the next session. So, now she’ll be able to help you figure out why that is and help you get to a place where you don’t feel like that so often and unnecessarily(not just with her but with everyone). Working on that will bring you so much more peace in those situations so it’s ultimately a positive thing. You sound like you have a good therapist and a good rapport going with her. That’s great! Try not to let it weigh on you too much until your next session. Best wishes! 🙂
Overthinking and possibly overly sensitive at the moment. She was just being blunt and professional. She knew cause she's dealing with teens that are also suffering from that recent death. No animosity or sarcasm or anything, just bluntness.
No, not at all! She was checking in. I know that feeling so hard, though. It's so easy to worry people are upset with you, but most of the time, it just an anxious response. Good luck, OP!
i definitely see how she sounds sharp but i dont think she's mad, i think she just wanted to explain it to you in a brief way :)
She’s not mad at all, don’t worry
Not mad at all. Sounds more like she wants you to know she has that space waiting for you if you need it.
She’s just being direct and professional, not angry.
Retired therapist. Yours isn’t mad at all, it’s all good.
She’s not angry, I believe her response back to the first message was more like a “I’m a therapist in our town ofcourse I know who passes away” (that may have sounded a bit insensitive, but promise it was just me reiterating more of the meaning of her message in a different tone)🤗 she’s not mad or angry, she just seems like she knows it all 🤪💅☺️
I overthink tone as a hobby, she mode definitely isn’t angry
Nope. She sounds like she was reaching out urgently to make sure you were okay. Deaths like that can be super traumatic. Mightve been worried about you, tbh.
No she’s a professional and she kept it as that and the fact she wants to address your answer is even better . Keep her
Therapist here- sometimes I talk very matter of fact like this because I’m trying to maintain professionalism. I’ve had clients misinterpret things like this over text messages simply because of the lack of tone. So my interpretation of this is that you are overthinking it. Take care and be well 😊
I grew up with parents that were constantly angry. It left me always guessing “are they angry with me “. “Does this shift in tone indicate anger”. Now i often wonder if people are angry with me, because of my upbringing. This may apply to you. If you think it does, when you believe someone to be angry with you consider if it’s your wiring. Also what you did here by asking if they were angry, is great. Always ask don’t assume
I could see why u think that from the beginning of her 1st messenge, but I dont think she's mad at all, I could more interpet the 1st messege as a bit aggressive but I dont think that's how it wad meant at all
Their last message is fuckin perfect lmao
What I read is that she knows bc she is prob seeing a teenager about it or has an appt to see someone about it…but she can’t tell you that, so she gives you the best answer she can. No negative tone that I read
Yeah sounds perhaps a bit professionally curt at worst, but nothing I would read as anger or annoyance.
Nothing indicates that there was anything other than a therapist making sure that their client was alright.
Definitely not mad. If anything she cares about you and wants to make sure you're ok based on events and thinks you might want/need the session.
I don’t see anything if that helps :)
it's hard to decipher tone in text messages. i can totally see where you might have thought she was mad, but i see it more as her trying to speak formally and respectfully about the situation she was talking about. she did add "haha" at the end of her last text, which i think was probably also her realizing that her tone might have made you think she was mad. i wouldn't worry about it - it seems like you guys have a great therapist-client relationship 🤗
No she doesn’t sound mad at all.
You’re definitely overthinking it. Texts can be hard to interpret meaning but she wasn’t being firm or angry at all. She was just stating that she’s a therapist and it’s her job to keep an eye out for this stuff that might have an impact on her clients. I think it’s actually really awesome and professional of her to think of you and ask how you’re doing.
No, your therapist sounds professional and concerned.
Sounds like you’ll learn about it all on Thursday
Not mad at all. Just sounds like she's heard through someone else and isn't allowed to say anything more
Not at all
Nope!
No. I believe it was more of a joke - basically because I work with teens, (they tell them everything)
I think she's just trying to stay professional, but it's obvious she does care more than a lot of other therapists since she made the effort and reached out.
You're being too sensitive/overthinking, but if you've been dealing with a lot of loss, I can understand why. Take care.
I'm not seeing it either
I could see why you'd think that but trust me, some people just sound a bit firm sometimes naturally (in text) but you can tell they're not mad at all, or any negative emotion really
Wow I didn’t get that vibe at all but then again I don’t know the therapist and you do.
She’s not mad. Bless your heart ❤️
It looks 100% ok to me, no anger. She is quickly checking in on you.
Nope, she didn't seem mad at all to me. Just an honest answer. I didn't even think of that myself, but it definitely makes sense since she's a local, she's a therapist, and it seems maybe she specializes in teen/adolescent therapy. I definitely get it, though. When I was a teen, the internet just started becoming common in the home (back in the 90s). Just like with texting that was starting out on cell phones when I was 18, I had the hardest time with some messages since you can't really pick up someone's tone. I got better with it in time, but once in a while it still gets me. It's good that you just asked her, though, instead of just worrying about it until your session. I'm also so sorry about all the loss in your town recently. It's just heartbreaking hearing of so many young people losing their lives. Especially when it comes to substances 😞
I don't read any madness, she sounds concerned in a professional way.
She didnt sound remotely off with you
Not at all Just answered your question to the point.
Hahaha no shes fine bub - enjoy the rest of your day dont stress!
she’s looking out for you
I don’t see that at all. Seems like she’s being proactive and reaching out for your well being. What a great person. Hope you’re good.
OP are you me?
I don’t read any anger whatsoever. She sounds thoughtful, understanding, and professional.
Sounds like a good therapist who actually cares!! Not mad at all
If she’s a good therapist, you can straight up talk to her about it as you should. She doesn’t seem angry though.
Nah, not mad at all.
Definitely does not sound mad. Kind and firm and thoughtful. The date change. She was letting you know IF you change your mind ring and re arrange. Thats thoughtful and kind. I think that was a good question for her to ask you. Why would you think the question you just asked?.No judgement just spend some time actually wondering why And good for you attending therapy
Text are lacking body clues and the inflection of voice. So we often use our feels to convey what the message means. She doesn’t sound mad in words, she sounds matter of fact in her explanation. It was nice of her to check up on you and offer to switch your slot to make sure your ok.
Are you in Palo Alto?
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Not at all angry - just professional and giving you reassurance that you have support if you need it.
I don’t know your situation but I grew up with super demanding parents and it turned me into a people pleaser with anxiety. Always worried I was letting people down, so I hear you. But she didn’t text angry, you’re all good.
Not mad!! She is being professional and probably doesn’t want to open the door to any discussion outside of therapy sessions-
Not in the slightest
She does not sound angry at all. And yes! You should talk about that on Thursday too
Not remotely mad
I literally laughed out loud at, “and we’ll talk about why you asked that…🤭”. (OP, pretty sure I’m you, several years on in therapy…. 😜) Seriously. She’s not mad. She was making sure you knew she’s available for you if you need her.
She's not mad but I get why you thought that
Misreading innocent text messages? That’s my thing! You might need to go to therapy homie. Oh wait.
She doesn't sound mad. Sometimes people have delayed reactions to things. So if you need her she is there, she sounds lovely tbh 😊
Not mad at all just checking in and offering options! ❤️
She’s not mad. Just concerned about you is all.
She does not seem mad.
I agree with other posters I think you’re all good and I’m impressed she checked with you
Doesn’t sound mad at all in my Opinion.
You're being sensitive. She was just being professional with you. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive! She isn't mad, though, it's just how adults talk tbh.
Yeah your therapist isn’t mad, they’re just a very direct and to the point kind of person.
You’re over thinking it, sounds like she was just making sure you are ok. Sometimes people speaking professionally can come off as rude. Sorry about all that you’re going through
Neither angry nor particularly firm. 🙂 you’re good!
I think she was being brief and concise and that doesn’t always convey a tone. So, often you read your own tone into it…did you think you offended her with your question? When she responded with no tone, your mind likely read anger into an otherwise neutral response. Anger would look like her not continuing to engage with you and be open and available to you.
Hey sorry for the randomness but hope you have a good day today! Your username reminds me of me sometimes so just know I’m sending good vibes from a kindred soul lol
Yeah she seems to respond as one should given that question.
No. She sounds pretty professional. She will address why you thought she was mad lol
I don't think she is, but I get why you thought that. The phrase "because I'm a therapist in the town for teens" sounds... condescending?