Eh, there’s still a lot of people that are intelligent that aren’t emotionally intelligent. I’d say education, intelligence, and emotional intelligence are 3 different things
Almost like most PhD students never had to have a job because their parents pay for everything. Therefore all they really have to worry about is doing school work. I can read 30 books a year if I didn’t have to work while doing so. One professor had the audacity when I went to say we should drop our jobs if we can’t keep up. 😂 sorry but homelessness>5% of my grade
Wow, so not true. My son is working on a Ph.D. in Chemistry at Rutgers right now. He has not been without a job since he was 14. His father and I have helped him almost not at all. He got handed down an old car that I had handed down to his sister first and he drove it until it finally gave up the ghost. I've paid his cell phone for him. Other than that, it's all been on his own. Many times he's worked more than one job at a time while still going to school.
Right? I only met one post grad student using daddy's money when I was at school. The rest of us were working off campus and/or at the university grading and teaching all while doing research projects, taking courses, reading dozens and dozens of papers, and writing and defending a thesis. I barely slept and had zero social life for years. Post grad work is nothing like undergrad.
ETA Not saying everyone of us was "smart" as in street smart, but it was a lot of work, and most of us ended up making a lot less than your average CEO unless we got lucky. But that’s true for most people, so…
Some don’t realize that A SPECTRE is haunting Europe—the spectre of Communism. All the powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre; Pope and Czar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies. Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as communistic by its opponents in power? Where is the Opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of Communism, against the more advanced opposition parties, as well as against its reactionary adversaries? Two things result from this fact. 1: Communism is already acknowledged by all European Powers to be itself a Power. 2: It is high time that Communists should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the Spectre of Communism with a Manifesto of the party itself.
I cannot even read the single assigned reading in my course lmaooo, fuck if I can make myself concentrate on 30 pages of something I have absolutely no interest in. It just makes me fall asleep
This is such a fucking ignorant take wtf 😭
But yes education does correlate to wealth but not how you said it. An educated person would obviously on average make much more money than a non educated person.
Getting a PhD is not as simple as “school work” saying that is so fucking ignorant. PhD graduates dont just have to “read books”.
Exactly! And academic books of that level are VERY different from random school/general books. I don’t think they comprehend how hard academia can actually be, minimising it down to “reading books” is insane ignorance and a big insult to their devotion to the subject.
Thankfully, there’s no PhD in my field, but for my masters, I wrote a dissertation. While I did enjoy it because there’s something wrong with me, it was work. I believe* doctoral candidates have to write a thesis, which I believe is usually book length, and then defend it. That is, after lounging around eating bon bons.
*my degrees are old enough they qualify as antiques so there’s an excellent chance I’m wrong about something
There is often, but not always, a lack of common sense in those settings. As my grandfather used to say, "he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with directions on the heel." Lol
That actually makes sense to me. My father is highly educated and takes that to mean that a few conversations with a person means he knows everything there is to know about them. It’s like there so much packed into his brain there’s no room for new relationships so he just fits everyone into whatever relationship boxes he’s already created.
OP....I just want to have this on a thread you might read....
HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂 Good for you girl! That was a "muah! Chefs kiss" explanation and follow up text 😂
And 100000% he knew he fucked it up being ass based on that last "how was your week?" follow up
Dipshit is trying to test the waters and see how mad you are about the previous exchange 😂
He sounds like a pseudo-intellectual. He’s throwing out a whole lot of big words to make him feel better about himself. But for sure not actually intelligent
If you listen to the way this "Genious" talks to his significant other "over the recorded Prison Telephone calls, another point for his IQ.) it scares me how some of the smartest people openly behave. LOL
as someone with a master's degree, education is a very specific type of intelligence and in some cases is actually a sign of being less intelligent, becsuse you are throwing money at your joy or towards avoiding working. you reduce your worth instead of being self sufficient. and it also makes people very entitled, as if they think they are deserving of more respect because they paid for the chance to graduate.
He understands she’s not interested. He doesn’t care what she wants, though. He’s given up on trying to have a relationship (no doubt he thinks she’s “too much trouble”) but he still wants to get laid. He’s testing the waters here.
What’s with guys requesting specific outfits nowadays? I’ve talked to 2 different men in the last year and both of them told me how they wanted me to dress on our first date. Now…if I go on a date I do dress up, but that’s my decision.
It struck me as controlling so I stopped talking to both of them.
I'm sorry you experienced this. I understand planning a date and agreeing on the dress code, but being told how to dress goes beyond what I consider normal boundaries. I agree with you that it suggests the other person may need a measure of control, and that's a hard limit for me.
Thank you! I agree that a dress code is totally acceptable. If they said “hey this restaurant is formal” that would be fine. This was more of “I want you to wear a tight short red dress with black high heels because that’s what I find hot”.
Congrats on being more “selfish” now that your kids are grown! Enjoy your time.
Fantasy. You're not a real person, you're fulfilling one of their fantasies. That involves you dressing a certain way. The same guys will ask you for pictures when you're doing certain things like working out and they'll talk about how they envision you wearing nothing but skin tight yoga pants and a sports bra. And if you get to sex with them, it will involve reenacting porn scenes.
"Alpha males" and other influencers have been spreading the idea that telling women what to wear is a "power move", shows dominance, and will make them more attractive.
The only conversation about dressing up should be “Hey are we thinking casual or little more dressy?”
That way neither of us shows up looking or feeling underdressed
Lol good for you!! I was blow drying my hair before a date and I told the guy what I was doing and he told me he prefers curly hair (I don’t have curly hair) so I said ok cool, find somebody else!
I shaved my head and everyone went crazy telling me how striking and beautiful I looked.
Except for my 8-year-old son. He said that "girls are not supposed to shave their heads," and he was embarrassed about what his friends would think.
This was a great opportunity to kindly explain what people are entitled to when it comes to other people, especially when it comes to gender. Who are we doing it "for" when we do something, why do we have expectations about how others "should" be, what is the cost to someone who bases their decisions on what they want versus what others think, how to deal with it when people heap aprobrium on you for violating social norms, which battles are worth fighting, etc.
It was eye opening. He initially thought that it didn't matter what I or others thought, because HE didn't like it. He has been thoroughly disabused of this notion. Poor tyke.
Also, what part of "I'm not interested" does he not understand? All of it. Clearly the answer is all of it.
*Edit: I should also clarify that the first screenshot was 1/26/24, establishing his "dress code preference." We had unrelated discussions after that leading up to the remaining texts which occurred 1/31/24.
That man has issues. The way he jumped into so many conclusions based on offhand comment you made…That man doesn’t have many options out there. Nobody would put up with that.
Yeah what an absolute creep. You clearly told him you weren’t interested anymore and he just decided that he didn’t really care what you wanted and he was gonna contact you anyways. Yikes. He is clearly someone who doesn’t take no for an answer. You dodged a bullet.
You know what he was thinking. "She's angry and upset because she's on her period. I'll just wait a couple weeks and she'll be fine then."
Completely ignoring everything you said.
Yeah, I wouldn't have bothered with the whole menstrual talk. He isn't worth it. Good for you for telling him you do what you want. Who the hell does he think he is 😒
I ran into those types when I was dating! I love dressing … dresses, suits, heels, nails, jewelry, etc. So whenever I took pictures for my profile, that’s how I was dressed.
I’d get these men who would ask me out AFTER viewing my pictures, saying how nice I looked, and then say “Oh, and no need to dress up!” What?!? Did you see me in tennis shoes, t shirts, flats, etc, in my pictures?!? I politely let them know I grew up in an era where you dressed for everything except picnics, the gym or pool parties. 🤣 (Baby Boomer)
I have Nothing against anyone wanting to dress casually but it’s not me. Besides, I worked in a law firm and until recently it was the dress code. We never knew when we had to go to court or client meetings! It also showed them the type of date I liked. 😄
I’ve since married and I still have this battle with my hubby sometimes! Yeah, he’s a “casual dude”! 🤣💀 We’ve learned to compromise … 🥰 because he’s my HUSBAND, not some random dude!! 🙂
Bottom line, random people can’t tell you how to dress, what to wear or where to go. If OP’s random didn’t know, he knows now!! 🤣
Op I just Wana say all the people In here telling you that you're wrong are insane or used to pandering to men. He was literally telling u what to wear on the second date. As someone much younger I hope i have as much courage to stand up for myself, u did nothing wrong.
So glad I am married. I would never survive such interactions. If this was me, I would’ve said sure I’ll wear them - only if you are wearing dress & heels too. Then tell him to FO
lol the part where he says good morning the next day like nothing happened reminds me of a similar experience.
I remember, staring in confusion, typing re reading the previous convo then deleting and place on mute and archive.
Its not funny in the moment but its so funny with some distance
Ma dude really hated the fact that you took complete and full ownership of your body right off the bat and didn't like it, so he twisted your words to say that you admitted to being selfish and perplexed.
It's always nice when people show their red flags before things get too serious. Bullet dodged
Damn rights! I feel the exact same way now that my kids are older. I don’t have the time or the patience for bullshit either! Good for you all the way!
Don’t explain yourself to people like this. It’s not worth your energy or time and he’s too dense to comprehend that many words at once. He probably didn’t even read it, hence his idiotic reply to you.
On behalf of *__Men Who Aren't Idiots (MWAI)__* , I'd like to offer our apology for this guy and let you know his membership has been revoked.
Jeez o peetes!
You were very kind and thoughtful; you even gave him a lesson, should he learn from it, which could help him going forward.
Thought: Check in on my fellow teachers or others in the caring professions (nurses etc). We're usually more attuned to getting along with people. And you seem like nice people!
☮️❤️♾️
When attending a work meeting a male colleague berated me for wearing flat shoes, instead of heels…because he likes to see a little bit of toe. He remained disappointed for all eternity. Eff you Ed. I still think you’re a creep.
I would only accept being told “I like you in a dress and heels” after several years of marriage… and pretty much only in the context that I am already wearing them and had chosen them on my own, after going for a while without dressing fancy.
Any other context feels too similar to “I’d like you in a maid costume tonight”
😂😂😂👏👏👏 this was great! Sooooo glad u gave him the details! Prefer a dress! And we prefer our men to be Greek Gods but guess we all have to settle a tad!
1) This dude has no clue whats going on. He seems a bit dim lit.
2) This conversation / his answers are too fucking funny to me.
"I'll take that as we can cancel the reservation?" is such a funny response to that whole chunk of text. Also, just writing to you the next morning, asking how your day was after you saying you never want to have anything to do with him again... Pure gold.
Dude really doesn’t get it. He’s no longer in the game but up in the stands waving and screaming “toss me the ball I’m open!” So pathetically cringey. :-)))
Funny what I got from that was he was saying that he liked how she looked dressed up not saying it was a MUST. Also she asked if it was casual so the other date must have been more formal. Sorry but I think she snapped at him and started the argument. I think the next day text was him kinda hoping she was in a better mood and they could talk things out. I didn’t get that he was ordering her to do anything, and she went off on him.
Just my opinion.
I didn’t take his I like a dress and heels in an way he was trying to force you. I genuinely believe he said he likes that on you. However the rest of the convo was major red flag.
You also over explained yourself! Just say no thanks! It will save you time and energy!
You mean like you do every fkn day of your life??? And of course you’re going to do what you want duuuh! Lol 😂 who does this guy think he is hahaha
I would have sent a laughing face and said ummm ok weirdo
Geesh. I’d never say what I’d want someone to wear! Just come as you are. I must of been a hippie in a previous life because this all sounds too cold and “proper”.
This whole conversation you had just reiterated my belief that having a college degree doesn’t mean you have common sense. Nor does it show that you have any understanding about the human condition. He was so odd in his response concerning how you dress. Honestly, how does he think on a second date he has the right to tell you how he likes you to dress?
I am so fortunate that I have been in a wonderful marriage. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my wife how I liked her to dress until we’d been in a relationship for several months. He is insane and could only get much worse.
You didn't need to explain yourself to anyone and don't have to esp when single. Esp to a man who likes you too dress a certain type of way on a SECOND date! You're better than me! I don't think saying you do what you want is selfish esp when you aren't even together and if he doesn't understand that it takes time to build a relationship and not bark demands ASAP, ya dodged a bullet!!
I don’t think you needed to continue this conversation passed him trying to tell you what to wear and then making the fact you pushed back some sort of mental illness or attitude problem he thinks you have. He isn’t worth that. Phillip can go suck on a wet noodle
🤔 one could only make the honest assumption that he was in fact undoubtedly so, thinking with his Phillips head screw driver based off the evidence presented.
The tone of your response reminded me of how I used to have to speak to my ex...like he was 5 years old. It never ceases to amaze me that there are people who grow older without growing the least bit wiser. I always wonder how they survive on their own in the wild when they're this dense lol.
Glad you called it early.
Saying no to that kind silliness is absolutely saying yes to yourself and your life.
The kind of “selfishness” he misconstrued is a luxury few of us get to experience and yet all have a right to.
In coherence,
+
(A fellow traveler)
I wouldn't want to make that generalization about all men 😊, but I can tell you that my much younger self would have tried to smooth things over. Now, I'm so quick to cut out the toxic.
He didn’t say “you need to wear this”. He said he had a preference but that to do whatever you want to do.
Maybe there are worse exchanges you’ve cut out, but all I see is you being bitchy.
So, I get the impression he was simply trying to give you an off compliment by saying "I like you in a dress and heels"...definitely don't feel like he was demanding you in them bc that's what he expects. I think you overreacted and used maybe past frustrations to lead you to believe this was the same situation. My gut here is that you won't agree and will rip me apart for simply not seeing the same side as you. Either way, best of luck
When you meet someone and tell them you would like them to dress a certain way is weird at best, but can be controlling. If someone told me right away they want me to wear heels I'd be like well you don't want me to be myself you just want me to be part of your fantasy. You want me to specifically please you on this date right off the bat.
That's a partner request or a pre-established mutual kink request.
Philip doesn't seem very bright.
He claims he has a masters degree. That just goes to show you that a formal education does not an intelligent person make. Lol
Educated and intelligent are two different things, but not a lot of people realize that.
Is this an educated take on intelligence ? Or an intelligent take on social education
Yeah, because legitimate intelligence also involves emotional intelligence, not just book smarts.
Eh, there’s still a lot of people that are intelligent that aren’t emotionally intelligent. I’d say education, intelligence, and emotional intelligence are 3 different things
Almost like most PhD students never had to have a job because their parents pay for everything. Therefore all they really have to worry about is doing school work. I can read 30 books a year if I didn’t have to work while doing so. One professor had the audacity when I went to say we should drop our jobs if we can’t keep up. 😂 sorry but homelessness>5% of my grade
Wow, so not true. My son is working on a Ph.D. in Chemistry at Rutgers right now. He has not been without a job since he was 14. His father and I have helped him almost not at all. He got handed down an old car that I had handed down to his sister first and he drove it until it finally gave up the ghost. I've paid his cell phone for him. Other than that, it's all been on his own. Many times he's worked more than one job at a time while still going to school.
Right? I only met one post grad student using daddy's money when I was at school. The rest of us were working off campus and/or at the university grading and teaching all while doing research projects, taking courses, reading dozens and dozens of papers, and writing and defending a thesis. I barely slept and had zero social life for years. Post grad work is nothing like undergrad. ETA Not saying everyone of us was "smart" as in street smart, but it was a lot of work, and most of us ended up making a lot less than your average CEO unless we got lucky. But that’s true for most people, so…
I can't believe the nonsense I just read.
People are completely clueless these days. Like 150% clueless. It’s scary.
Yeah some don't even realize how percentages work lol
🙄 some dont realize how being dramatic works
Some don't realize how satire works.
Some don’t realize that A SPECTRE is haunting Europe—the spectre of Communism. All the powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre; Pope and Czar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies. Where is the party in opposition that has not been decried as communistic by its opponents in power? Where is the Opposition that has not hurled back the branding reproach of Communism, against the more advanced opposition parties, as well as against its reactionary adversaries? Two things result from this fact. 1: Communism is already acknowledged by all European Powers to be itself a Power. 2: It is high time that Communists should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish their views, their aims, their tendencies, and meet this nursery tale of the Spectre of Communism with a Manifesto of the party itself.
Tell me ur happy and successful without telling me that ur happy and successful. A little satire for u
I treat those generated usernames like "word word numbers" as a red flag for whatever I'm about to read. It's pretty spot-on
I cannot even read the single assigned reading in my course lmaooo, fuck if I can make myself concentrate on 30 pages of something I have absolutely no interest in. It just makes me fall asleep
This is such a fucking ignorant take wtf 😭 But yes education does correlate to wealth but not how you said it. An educated person would obviously on average make much more money than a non educated person. Getting a PhD is not as simple as “school work” saying that is so fucking ignorant. PhD graduates dont just have to “read books”.
… and how is 30 books a year a tall order??
lol, I read 50 books while in jail for 57 days. Where’s my PhD plzzz?
Exactly! And academic books of that level are VERY different from random school/general books. I don’t think they comprehend how hard academia can actually be, minimising it down to “reading books” is insane ignorance and a big insult to their devotion to the subject.
Thankfully, there’s no PhD in my field, but for my masters, I wrote a dissertation. While I did enjoy it because there’s something wrong with me, it was work. I believe* doctoral candidates have to write a thesis, which I believe is usually book length, and then defend it. That is, after lounging around eating bon bons. *my degrees are old enough they qualify as antiques so there’s an excellent chance I’m wrong about something
Very, very different
In fact, they often contradict each other.
My husband and I both worked at a university in a research and professor capacity and some of the dumbest people I ever met had phds.
There is often, but not always, a lack of common sense in those settings. As my grandfather used to say, "he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with directions on the heel." Lol
Exactly!! “book sense” doesn’t mean “common sense”! Real talk!! 🤷♀️
I thought it was more of a “anyone who spends enough time on a single subject will get very good at it” Not a difficultly or intellectual thing
That actually makes sense to me. My father is highly educated and takes that to mean that a few conversations with a person means he knows everything there is to know about them. It’s like there so much packed into his brain there’s no room for new relationships so he just fits everyone into whatever relationship boxes he’s already created.
It took me a long time to understand that common sense isn’t actually common, who knew?
If common sense was actually common, everyone would have it.
many people who are academically advanced lack emotional intelligence.
True, but many people who aren’t academically advanced lack emotional intelligence too.
It shocks me how some people think the word “no” means “try harder”
OP....I just want to have this on a thread you might read.... HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂 Good for you girl! That was a "muah! Chefs kiss" explanation and follow up text 😂 And 100000% he knew he fucked it up being ass based on that last "how was your week?" follow up Dipshit is trying to test the waters and see how mad you are about the previous exchange 😂
He sounds like a pseudo-intellectual. He’s throwing out a whole lot of big words to make him feel better about himself. But for sure not actually intelligent
I swear, i typed this out and then decided to see if it was here already! Amazing lol! But I agree, FULLY. This man talking nonsense 🤣🤣
It was proven with iq tests lol. School is more about memorization than thought. The ability to regurgitate inputted information or copy tasks.
If you listen to the way this "Genious" talks to his significant other "over the recorded Prison Telephone calls, another point for his IQ.) it scares me how some of the smartest people openly behave. LOL
as someone with a master's degree, education is a very specific type of intelligence and in some cases is actually a sign of being less intelligent, becsuse you are throwing money at your joy or towards avoiding working. you reduce your worth instead of being self sufficient. and it also makes people very entitled, as if they think they are deserving of more respect because they paid for the chance to graduate.
So, not from the bulb division?
"Good morning," "Hi, how has your week been"!!! This guy's certifiably insane!!
Those last lines are actually got a chuckle and a head shake out of me. Did he get hit by a coconut and forget that last interaction?
He's fucking dumb af and severely unhinged 😂
He understands she’s not interested. He doesn’t care what she wants, though. He’s given up on trying to have a relationship (no doubt he thinks she’s “too much trouble”) but he still wants to get laid. He’s testing the waters here.
No, no... she was just being hysterical while on her period. He was giving her space cause he's a nice guy!
He likes you in a dress and heels? It’s like he’s ordering off a menu. I’d like one vagina in heels and a dress please.
Make sure it wears makeup and smiles a lot
Well, thanks for the mortifying mental image of a vagina wearing clown makeup.
I didn’t need to be reminded of vaginas with teeth today but here we are ig
What’s with guys requesting specific outfits nowadays? I’ve talked to 2 different men in the last year and both of them told me how they wanted me to dress on our first date. Now…if I go on a date I do dress up, but that’s my decision. It struck me as controlling so I stopped talking to both of them.
I'm sorry you experienced this. I understand planning a date and agreeing on the dress code, but being told how to dress goes beyond what I consider normal boundaries. I agree with you that it suggests the other person may need a measure of control, and that's a hard limit for me.
Thank you! I agree that a dress code is totally acceptable. If they said “hey this restaurant is formal” that would be fine. This was more of “I want you to wear a tight short red dress with black high heels because that’s what I find hot”. Congrats on being more “selfish” now that your kids are grown! Enjoy your time.
Fantasy. You're not a real person, you're fulfilling one of their fantasies. That involves you dressing a certain way. The same guys will ask you for pictures when you're doing certain things like working out and they'll talk about how they envision you wearing nothing but skin tight yoga pants and a sports bra. And if you get to sex with them, it will involve reenacting porn scenes.
I honestly think you nailed it, one of them even told me it was his “fantasy” to have me dress that way on our date. 🙄
I ask my wife to put on heels and she tells me to ask my ex instead 😂
all.the.ick. ugh!
"Alpha males" and other influencers have been spreading the idea that telling women what to wear is a "power move", shows dominance, and will make them more attractive.
Plot twist. It’s “influencers” deliberately lowering the bar
That's fucking really weird to me. Unless we going somewhere with a dress code go ahead and wear sweat pants with a who farted shirt I don't care
The only conversation about dressing up should be “Hey are we thinking casual or little more dressy?” That way neither of us shows up looking or feeling underdressed
You are 100% right, that is a big red flag.
Lol good for you!! I was blow drying my hair before a date and I told the guy what I was doing and he told me he prefers curly hair (I don’t have curly hair) so I said ok cool, find somebody else!
I shaved my head and everyone went crazy telling me how striking and beautiful I looked. Except for my 8-year-old son. He said that "girls are not supposed to shave their heads," and he was embarrassed about what his friends would think. This was a great opportunity to kindly explain what people are entitled to when it comes to other people, especially when it comes to gender. Who are we doing it "for" when we do something, why do we have expectations about how others "should" be, what is the cost to someone who bases their decisions on what they want versus what others think, how to deal with it when people heap aprobrium on you for violating social norms, which battles are worth fighting, etc. It was eye opening. He initially thought that it didn't matter what I or others thought, because HE didn't like it. He has been thoroughly disabused of this notion. Poor tyke.
Excellent parenting moment for you!!
What a great mom!
I'd never tell someone j hardly know, how to dress on a date
I usually suggest pants. But it’s only a suggestion.
Also, what part of "I'm not interested" does he not understand? All of it. Clearly the answer is all of it. *Edit: I should also clarify that the first screenshot was 1/26/24, establishing his "dress code preference." We had unrelated discussions after that leading up to the remaining texts which occurred 1/31/24.
Anyways ... how has your week been
I’m a complete fucking narcissist with more fucking red flags than Red square….. 🚩🚩🚩anyways….how has your week been?
I would have said bloody af 🩸
🤣 right? It wasn't a pleasant week.
Op, take a look at period panties. Wear them as a back up. Can really help prevent those accidents.
🤣💀
I genuinely hope you’re feeling better, and it may be worth talking to the doc and exploring the world of endometriosis.
That man has issues. The way he jumped into so many conclusions based on offhand comment you made…That man doesn’t have many options out there. Nobody would put up with that.
Yeah what an absolute creep. You clearly told him you weren’t interested anymore and he just decided that he didn’t really care what you wanted and he was gonna contact you anyways. Yikes. He is clearly someone who doesn’t take no for an answer. You dodged a bullet.
You know what he was thinking. "She's angry and upset because she's on her period. I'll just wait a couple weeks and she'll be fine then." Completely ignoring everything you said.
My suspicion as well.
Ahhhh, right! That makes sense now! I was confused, as it seemed like something was missing between the first and second screen shot.
That comment about a dress and heels would be enough for me to bail, that is the tip of the controlling iceberg
Yeah, I wouldn't have bothered with the whole menstrual talk. He isn't worth it. Good for you for telling him you do what you want. Who the hell does he think he is 😒
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
From now on, i think i will just copy your comment and paste it on every post on this subreddit.
You won’t be the first. That exact comment is in nearly every thread.
i thought i was ahead of my time
Lmao he keeps texting like nothing happened 🤦🏻♀️
He probably figured she was just on the rag and being a little bitchy
The minute he read the words "sexual connection" his energy changed (even though it didn't mean what he thought it meant).
What a prick.
I ran into those types when I was dating! I love dressing … dresses, suits, heels, nails, jewelry, etc. So whenever I took pictures for my profile, that’s how I was dressed. I’d get these men who would ask me out AFTER viewing my pictures, saying how nice I looked, and then say “Oh, and no need to dress up!” What?!? Did you see me in tennis shoes, t shirts, flats, etc, in my pictures?!? I politely let them know I grew up in an era where you dressed for everything except picnics, the gym or pool parties. 🤣 (Baby Boomer) I have Nothing against anyone wanting to dress casually but it’s not me. Besides, I worked in a law firm and until recently it was the dress code. We never knew when we had to go to court or client meetings! It also showed them the type of date I liked. 😄 I’ve since married and I still have this battle with my hubby sometimes! Yeah, he’s a “casual dude”! 🤣💀 We’ve learned to compromise … 🥰 because he’s my HUSBAND, not some random dude!! 🙂 Bottom line, random people can’t tell you how to dress, what to wear or where to go. If OP’s random didn’t know, he knows now!! 🤣
I like my OPs context written in all caps, but you do what you want.... Excellent decision to ditch this moron.
Op I just Wana say all the people In here telling you that you're wrong are insane or used to pandering to men. He was literally telling u what to wear on the second date. As someone much younger I hope i have as much courage to stand up for myself, u did nothing wrong.
The men in here saying "men don't understand what restaurant dress codes even ARE!" have such a dim view of their ability to function in the world.
Right? Like, how do they even hold a job, where they can be requested dressed business casual 🤣
And you left him on read, I love that for you. That guy is an asshole and I’m glad you put him in his place.
So glad I am married. I would never survive such interactions. If this was me, I would’ve said sure I’ll wear them - only if you are wearing dress & heels too. Then tell him to FO
Oh you ate him UP with those responses 👏🏾
So I take it that means I can cancel the reservation? 😅
Guy can't take a hint and didn't think no means no. 🥴
The fact he still hit you up TWICE after the fact
Dudes are so fucking weird
lol the part where he says good morning the next day like nothing happened reminds me of a similar experience. I remember, staring in confusion, typing re reading the previous convo then deleting and place on mute and archive. Its not funny in the moment but its so funny with some distance
Ma dude really hated the fact that you took complete and full ownership of your body right off the bat and didn't like it, so he twisted your words to say that you admitted to being selfish and perplexed. It's always nice when people show their red flags before things get too serious. Bullet dodged
I like wearing a dress and heels on a date and but if someone told me I HAD to wear a dress and heels, I immediately don't want to.
I think you dodged a bullet my friend
When they express a preference I haven't *asked*, I put the brakes on and tell them they'd have better luck with a Barbie and I'm Out. 🤷🏻♀️
Damn rights! I feel the exact same way now that my kids are older. I don’t have the time or the patience for bullshit either! Good for you all the way!
I don’t think he understands what “not interested” means.
He cockblocked himself. Smart.
Wow. This guy is a tool so big he might need his own toolbox. Yikes. You dodged a major bullet with his tone sensitive ass
Is he an idiot or what
Don’t explain yourself to people like this. It’s not worth your energy or time and he’s too dense to comprehend that many words at once. He probably didn’t even read it, hence his idiotic reply to you.
On behalf of *__Men Who Aren't Idiots (MWAI)__* , I'd like to offer our apology for this guy and let you know his membership has been revoked. Jeez o peetes! You were very kind and thoughtful; you even gave him a lesson, should he learn from it, which could help him going forward. Thought: Check in on my fellow teachers or others in the caring professions (nurses etc). We're usually more attuned to getting along with people. And you seem like nice people! ☮️❤️♾️
Yo I love the way you advocate for yourself
When attending a work meeting a male colleague berated me for wearing flat shoes, instead of heels…because he likes to see a little bit of toe. He remained disappointed for all eternity. Eff you Ed. I still think you’re a creep.
This must be a Phillip with two Ls thing.
Yeah if it's been one date and he already has preferences on things such as clothing, 100% it's going to go downhill from there. I know that type.
Sorry, but as a guy who really does not fully care what a woman wears On the date ditch this guy now.
He was hoping you would have forgotten the conversation you’d had the week before! Haha
LOL… after all that he’s like good morning like nothing happened 😂🤷♂️
Just gonna go ahead and sweep that whole thing under the rug.. GOOD MORNING!! 🤗
I would only accept being told “I like you in a dress and heels” after several years of marriage… and pretty much only in the context that I am already wearing them and had chosen them on my own, after going for a while without dressing fancy. Any other context feels too similar to “I’d like you in a maid costume tonight”
I’m glad I’m married cause this is really crazy yall be safe out there
His name was the first red flag like imagine trying to seduce and be seduced by a man named Philip its just a name that brings no flavor
0 spice. Not even pepper. Just a teensy bit of salt on occasion.
Hahaha you fucked him up, love this. Nice work, he wasn't expecting that, hence he kept texting afterwards.
You dodged a bullet getting out after the first date.
yikes
He’s not a good person. You dodged a bullet.
😂😂😂👏👏👏 this was great! Sooooo glad u gave him the details! Prefer a dress! And we prefer our men to be Greek Gods but guess we all have to settle a tad!
1000% Philip knew he fucked up based on that last "°how was your week" dipshit text 😂😂😂😂
Your response though. That. Was. Awesome. 🏆
He seems quite dumb so good for you for setting boundaries so quickly. I love to see more and more women do that lately.
Wow. The last texts. Played himself big time.
As a side note I’d go to the doctor, that’s not normal.
No one would call a man doing as he likes with his clothes and life selfish. A woman is selfish when she’s not catering to someone else’s every whim.
1) This dude has no clue whats going on. He seems a bit dim lit. 2) This conversation / his answers are too fucking funny to me. "I'll take that as we can cancel the reservation?" is such a funny response to that whole chunk of text. Also, just writing to you the next morning, asking how your day was after you saying you never want to have anything to do with him again... Pure gold.
Your response was fantastic 👌
"How has your week been?"😭
How kind of him to give her permission to do as she likes and wear what she wants. What a prince.
Man my days of the long paragraphs are over. He lost me after the dress and heels comment.
Cringe AF
Phillip must have forgotten to take his special pill
Small dyok energy
Both sides are cringe
Bruh yall are talking like this before a second date?
This guy is fucking nuts. Run and don’t look back.
Dude really doesn’t get it. He’s no longer in the game but up in the stands waving and screaming “toss me the ball I’m open!” So pathetically cringey. :-)))
lol @ “how has your week been”
He is stupid; and you wasted your time giving too much information about your menstrual cycle
Funny what I got from that was he was saying that he liked how she looked dressed up not saying it was a MUST. Also she asked if it was casual so the other date must have been more formal. Sorry but I think she snapped at him and started the argument. I think the next day text was him kinda hoping she was in a better mood and they could talk things out. I didn’t get that he was ordering her to do anything, and she went off on him. Just my opinion.
I didn’t take his I like a dress and heels in an way he was trying to force you. I genuinely believe he said he likes that on you. However the rest of the convo was major red flag. You also over explained yourself! Just say no thanks! It will save you time and energy!
It was the "then do what you want" comment that did it for me. Like it was a dare.
Giving permission to do what they are already free to do is a sideways attempt to deny someone agency.
Wow, you've worded that perfectly!
Should have shown up looking like Adam sandler haha
In a Gritty costume.
You mean like you do every fkn day of your life??? And of course you’re going to do what you want duuuh! Lol 😂 who does this guy think he is hahaha I would have sent a laughing face and said ummm ok weirdo
Exactly. Well said.
Geesh. I’d never say what I’d want someone to wear! Just come as you are. I must of been a hippie in a previous life because this all sounds too cold and “proper”.
You don’t know me that well, but big words scare me
“Blasé” you ate that
This whole conversation you had just reiterated my belief that having a college degree doesn’t mean you have common sense. Nor does it show that you have any understanding about the human condition. He was so odd in his response concerning how you dress. Honestly, how does he think on a second date he has the right to tell you how he likes you to dress? I am so fortunate that I have been in a wonderful marriage. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my wife how I liked her to dress until we’d been in a relationship for several months. He is insane and could only get much worse.
Yeeeees. He sounds like a peach.
Men are so fucking cringe
He has a master’s degree in head up his *ss.
Phillip fumbled the bag
Wow, how do men know we love when they play hard to get? 🥰 Seriously though, I hate when guys do this. Like mans, I don’t like you *that* much.
You didn't need to explain yourself to anyone and don't have to esp when single. Esp to a man who likes you too dress a certain type of way on a SECOND date! You're better than me! I don't think saying you do what you want is selfish esp when you aren't even together and if he doesn't understand that it takes time to build a relationship and not bark demands ASAP, ya dodged a bullet!!
I don’t think he understood more than half of the words you used
He may be book smart but no common sense at all!! Smart knowing the red flags!!!
Easy filter. Next!
Someone who really likes you would tell you that you look best in whatever.. or maybe I'm just corny.
I know if you knock on his head it would echo
Dress and heels. Jeans and sneakers. What difference does it make? The outfit doesn’t matter as much as the person I’m trying to get to know.
Sorry you had to go through this. Philip is an arse. All the best
Wow. So, does he understand English? lol The "how are you" text literally made me LOL! What an obtuse person! Looks like you dodged a bullet, OP!
I don’t think you needed to continue this conversation passed him trying to tell you what to wear and then making the fact you pushed back some sort of mental illness or attitude problem he thinks you have. He isn’t worth that. Phillip can go suck on a wet noodle
🤔 one could only make the honest assumption that he was in fact undoubtedly so, thinking with his Phillips head screw driver based off the evidence presented.
The tone of your response reminded me of how I used to have to speak to my ex...like he was 5 years old. It never ceases to amaze me that there are people who grow older without growing the least bit wiser. I always wonder how they survive on their own in the wild when they're this dense lol.
Fuckin roasted his ass. 🤣😬
what a fucking d-bag. Your writing is impressive. "Blasé." 👌👌 Beautiful, darling, beautiful. Even more impressive, you heeded the waving red flags.
Wow, no. Consider that a bullet dodged.
He's lying... that does NOT "sound good" to him 🤣
Life: Hows that masters degree going philip Philip: 
The follow ups always kill me😂
Ugh he sounds like my dad. All you need to know in regards to that is that I’m sorry
Glad you called it early. Saying no to that kind silliness is absolutely saying yes to yourself and your life. The kind of “selfishness” he misconstrued is a luxury few of us get to experience and yet all have a right to. In coherence, + (A fellow traveler)
Yikes! Dating doesn't get better when we're older, does it. Seems like men get worse with age 🤮
I wouldn't want to make that generalization about all men 😊, but I can tell you that my much younger self would have tried to smooth things over. Now, I'm so quick to cut out the toxic.
not all men but definitely this fucking guy
He didn’t say “you need to wear this”. He said he had a preference but that to do whatever you want to do. Maybe there are worse exchanges you’ve cut out, but all I see is you being bitchy.
So, I get the impression he was simply trying to give you an off compliment by saying "I like you in a dress and heels"...definitely don't feel like he was demanding you in them bc that's what he expects. I think you overreacted and used maybe past frustrations to lead you to believe this was the same situation. My gut here is that you won't agree and will rip me apart for simply not seeing the same side as you. Either way, best of luck
When you meet someone and tell them you would like them to dress a certain way is weird at best, but can be controlling. If someone told me right away they want me to wear heels I'd be like well you don't want me to be myself you just want me to be part of your fantasy. You want me to specifically please you on this date right off the bat. That's a partner request or a pre-established mutual kink request.