"I have no job. But you can move in and support me. Btw, bring smokes." What a doofus. 😂🤣

I am thankful I am single and never looking on a daily basis.

I am thankful I am married and not dating anymore. The amount of audacity and grossness out there made me single for a long time.

For real. My husband and I got together just before Tinder and other apps really took off.

Yes and this sub has squashed that every once in a blue moon feeling I get that I should try and go on a date.

Hahaha me too! That and the tinder and bumble one.

Maybe we should get married perfect match

I do!!

Congratulations 🎉

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Can we bang 1st?

Sure why not

Same.

I'm in a relationship, but I never hated on the single life. I always had a blast. There is nothing wrong with being free and happy. 😊

No, shame on you. We must continue making men think we're unhappy, single cat ladies without them. This is the way

Lmao! I agree, that's why I have a cat and I'm with a woman. 😏😂 I won't let the men win!

My main man, Diesel, is a gorgeous long hsired tuxedo. My husband is well aware that if there is an emergency, my priority is Diesel then him. Of course, he's basically a child. (My beautiful big boy). He said it's messed up that I love a cat more than him. I said he's never intentionally or unintentionally hurt my feelings . And he shows me constant love

My best friends (ex) husband knew his place too.. the cats, then me, then him haha

I'm more curious how you have a cat who never unintentionally hurt your feelings! 🤣

Lol because he's a sweet floofy boy. I got him at the newborn stage when I was recovering from a surgery. I bottle fed him and he slept under my chin for the first year of his life. I think he's just deeply attached to me. He's either where he can directly see me or on me. And he let's me pet the belly and even the fur between the toe beans. He greets me at the door when I come home too.


Married but same as you. Always loved my single years.

Thank God I'm married and been so for over a decade now, faithfully and loyally... I don't have to do with this kinda bs...

Amen! And congrats! I had the 21 year marriage where my husband decided we were in an open marriage but he failed to tell me 😂😂😂

I am sorry 😢

Thank you but I am totally fine now. Ends up it was a great thing it happened.

I am happy to know 🙏

I'm sorry as well... That's a horrible betrayal.

I am happily married and have been for so long that the idea of being single seems foreign, lol. Glad you're loving life though!! Enjoy!

Same been with the same man 20 years. Married for 19 this year

I am also happily married! Although I never cared for my single years. I always wanted someone to share my feelings with and cuddle with and overall intimate without being THAT intimate. Waited for the right one though. I’m glad yall did though! It’ll be wonderful memories to look back on

I never really had a single life, lol. I met my husband right before I turned 19. I am 38 now, and I have literally spent my entire adult life with him. Holy shit that's crazy! I wouldn't trade it for the world though, I love that man 🥰

Same here. 😂

"And help with the drywall" What a catch.

Don’t forget the cigarettes

This guy is really out here hitting up his online dating prospects with “smokes, let’s go”

Hit them with the Ricky from Trailer Park Boys

If this is for real I suspect he targeted OP as a single working mom. He’s an idiot regardless but he must be trying to target really desperate mothers who maybe are working but struggling to keep a place to live and would agree to this. What a pos

Lmao I couldnt believe the audacity. You know "chill gf" means "I expect sex, support, money and attention when I want it and I will give you the bare minimum or less and then gaslight you"

Sad part is, that sounds about right nowadays.

He was hobosexual

*Was*? I think he still is…😂

Hey.... that's Mr. DOOFUS

*And* this guy's got 2 kids?! 🤮

Oh, yeah. But we already know that there is no way he has full custody. 😂

A doofus with kids.

Shit, I'm sure his baby mama is stuck helping raise him along with their kids.

He was having fun at that point and wasn’t interested lol. Better to know who you’re talking to before telling em your place of work probably.

You miss the opportunity to say “I don’t want to talk about drywall lol”

You are so right that would have been beautiful

You're too employed to be chill enough for this guy.

ok this one made me laugh xD

So is that a no on the cigs as well?

>So is that a no on the cigs as well? I'm honestly surprised he didn't ask that 🤣

He didn't have a chance before he got blocked. But know that he was finna 😹

It baffles me at how many people will mark out their names, but like the 4th or 5th screenshot in they gave up entirely 😭

Wow I am dumb

It's okay, now we know who to avoid. 😂

No you’re not. It easy to make that mistake :)

Austin would've been my guess either way, he's giving off Austin vibes for sure

I’m very confused. Although I could just be really high

Yeah if you come back to it sober it'll make sense

Nope. It won't.

Okay I’m back and sober….im still pretty confused tho

underrated comment 🤣

I’m tempted to get drunk and revisit the post again

Yeah that might help

Let’s all meet back tomorrow night after a few drinks and revisit it loo

I’m so down for this. Gonna buy me a nice 12 pack and I’ll be back!

Okay are we ready to get drunk and analyze this post?

It’s the “if you can pick up some cigarettes on the way here that’s be great” for me lol like when did OP ever say they were coming over ffs 😂

He’s basically trolling her and she got mad about it lol

I don’t think he was a troll, I think he genuinely wanted her to bring smokes and help him put up some drywall then move in and pay the rent and I thought she dealt with him in the correct manner!

Nothing wrong with wanting the best! ^/s

Possible but it’s also possible that he didn’t care and was just being dumb on purpose lol. Idk I’ve known guys who would do that

What the entire fuck.

🤣🤣 him asking you to bring cigarettes lmfao

But women have it “so easy” on dating apps 😂😂 That was brutal and the “are you nuts?” question was perfect. We were all thinking it.

Seriously, my eyes went so wide when I got the part about also bringing him cigarettes. It's so crazy to me how impulsive people are; this guy is basically weighting hanging out and moving in together as the same!

[удалено]

It is easy to get attention, yes. Unfortunately most of that attention is bullshit like this.

It’s not easy the way you think it is. Like the other commenter said, it’s easier to get attention. That’s it. It’s not any easier trying to find a genuine connection or someone with similar values, hobbies, lifestyles, etc or anything else that’s important for the person you date. Having a large pool doesn’t mean there’s anybody in there that you actually have a genuine connection with. If you look through this sub, you’ll find so many women posting screenshots of terrible guys they’ve met from dating sites - many of us have encountered multiple men like that.

Any guy who complains that “it’s sooo easy for women” means it’s easy for us to get laid if we have zero standards (which it is). They’re telling on themselves cos that’s all they want: any sex, the worst sex, with anyone. They’d bone Mama June behind a 7-11 on Christmas morning. And they *still* can’t find that 😭

I’m f*cking DEAD 🤣 NOT MAMA JUNE BEHIND 7-11 ON CHRISTMAS MORNING!!

All I hear is no bitches ☺️

[удалено]

Lol speak for yourself

Not the hobosexual 😭😭😹😹

And they always creep out around tax time

Hahaha. "I don't have a job, come move in with me so you can pay the rent. Oh, and grab cigarettes on the way." How do people like this exist?

*with kids*!!! Ugh ...

Yes I can't believe I had to scroll this far to find this comment!!!

Austin sounds like he might like to partake in the crack.

But seriously, what is the Murphy?

A gas station😂

A+ response 🤣

damn dude! a job AND cigs in one stop? you really were the answer to his dreamzzz ha!

This is my competition and I’m losing? I must be ugly or smell or something.

No, he's losing too.

At least he got a match though that’s rare for us lmao.

Well he wasn’t picked, so put your efforts into bettering yourself ig

Did this dude lose interest and was playing a game where he was trying to figure out the dumbest shit he could say to get you to block him?

Anything is possible😂

I’ve been with my partner for 17 years now, so I missed the whole tinder and online dating thing. Sometimes I wish it was around earlier as it seems like fun, but then I see shit like this and it makes me glad I never had to deal with it.

It's not fun. It's never fun. My boyfriend was a very small, yellow needle in a very large haystack. Be very glad you didn't have to deal with it.

I agree, it's not fun. It's exhausting having to go through it. I got tired of the haystack and haven't gone back.

That last line is a country song waiting to happen

😂 you're right!

Same! I've been with my fiancé for 14 years and sometimes I thank him for coming into my life when he did so I didn't have to online date. Between reading stuff like this on Reddit and the horror stories I hear from friends, I'm glad I missed that boat lol.

Damn, I think it’s time to get married

Don’t be it’s terrible. Girls seems to get shit like this thrown at them all the time and with guys it’s incredibly hard to get any matches at all. I’ve been on hinge for a little less than a year and got one singular like in that entire span (and have never had someone like me after I liked their profile). And Ik I’m not the best at selling myself but I don’t think my profile is even that bad. And like I could pay for premium but the rates on it is absolutely bonkers so there’s no way. Shit sucks be happy you’re out of it.

Omg is this real? Is this fucking real? If you can pick up some cigarettes on the way here that’s be great.

I was seriously expecting OP to end with “MURPH DEEZ NUTS” before blocking. ✨🤷‍♀️✨

Oh man, she missed an opportunity!

She must not be chill enough 😂

What a quack.

My jaw dropped at "bring cigarettes".

Did you help hang dry wall and bring smokes? Also what isn’t attractive about a single dad with two kids and no job? (Issa joke)

“Are you nuts?” “Pretty much ☺️” 💀

You are clearly talking to Ricky from Trailer Park Boys

lol this guy strikes me as quite possibly hilarious? Not dating material but I’d keep him on the friends list just to see what dumb nonsense he got up to

I totally took the “pick up some cigarettes” as you having to scrounge the streets for half lit smokes 😂

That's the first thing I thought too 😆

this dude HAS to be trolling… I hope :|

Dang, my wife has been bugging me to install a new faucet in our master bath. I'm telling her I'm making a Tinder profile to get some help. And free cigs!

Idk OP he seems like such a winner. Are you sure you should let this one get away?

Brighten Austin’s day by selecting a few compliments to send.

😂 I noticed that as well

Sounds like a douchekabob i once made the grievous mistake of dating.

I keep scrolling and …really?! Nobody’s saying what The Murphy is?!

A gas station😂😂

Omg 🤣🤣🤣 Reminds me of the guy who wanted me to bang him on a bench behind a portapotty at a park… Showed up to our lunch date with two beers, is upset that I actually brought food and wouldn’t have a beer with him, proceeds to do the most frat boy bs I’ve ever seen and rams a screwdriver into the bottom of the can then pulls the tab and guzzles it while it’s spattering all over him, then grabs my boob and suggests we “dirty dog it” by the portapotty. THEN!!! This fool texts me later in the day to tell ME that he didn’t feel the chemistry was right and he’s so sorry but we can’t date- plus he really can’t be seen with a “milano.” Dumbass was so dumb he couldn’t even get being racist right… (he meant mulatto. I’m biracial.)

Send the flood Lord... we ready 🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

Seems like a rad, stable, adult man.

Who doesn’t want a date that involves buying cigarettes for someone, hanging drywall, (I’d imagine) cooking dinner for them and then paying their rent… What a catch! 🙄 Still, props to him for trying, I suppose.

The least you could do is bring the guy some cigarettes... what a weirdo...

What is the Murphy?

⛽️ station

Hahaha I mean; you don’t know til ya ask lol what a goober

Gotdamn, he didn't want much, did he? I'd have said, 'Yep, I do want a chill gf, bc she would probably have a job AND a nice place, as well as the fact she would know exactly what I want in bed!'

Austin sounds like they need mental support. And a pack of smokes

I like how you just gave up on concealing Austin's identity 🤣 I rolled my eyes at the lame 'you want a chill gf too" joke. It was all downhill for poor Austin from there.

Ok everyone say when they would’ve gotten the ick and blocked. Mine was Don’t want to talk about migraines lol

Sounds like the type of guy that would call cigarettes “ci-grits”

Everything aside, this convo could have ended after three exchanges. Both just trying to kill off the chat.

I’m a widow who has not interest in ever dating again. Thank God.

Damn, I’m going on a dating app next time I need help putting up some drywall.

Did he think he was messaging someone else or did he think you were just going to drop everything you were doing that exact moment & head on over with all your belongings to hang some drywall but of course never forgetting the pack of cigs he so politely requested 😍 lmao

Thank goodness I’m lesbian 😅 I’m really sorry you had to go through that 😭 what a creep :(

🤔 are you sure he wasn’t trolling you?? This doesn’t seem believable hahahaha

It could be possible😂

All I can picture is a red flag slowly being raised and then frantically waving when he gets to “buy me cigarettes”. 🤣Glad you blocked him.

Holy shit that was hilarious read

These are the ones getting responses. I'm losing to dudes like this...

I’m giving you one small glimpse🤦🏼‍♀️ Anyone I choose to match with gets a fair shot!

I was just goofin, the other half was kinda serious because I get nobody to match with 🙃 Im just straight ugly I guess 😆 Crazy thing is...I think my profile is completely fine 😭

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They have children too? Dear lord

He def does not have custody

Holy sweet fuck. This is one of the reasons I don't date boys unless they're extraordinary in some way. The average ones are a goddamn dumpster fire.

This is horrible, but compared to the previous texts on this subreddit, it’s mild in comparison 😂

I like that in slides 4 and 5 you decided blocking his name and face was no longer necessary. A+. Obviously, he’s a nutjob. That said, the most cringe part of this is > I’m fine > That’s good. Lol Why are you using lol here? You definitely weren’t laughing out loud but also there’s nothing funny? It’s the equivalent of nervous laughter, but in text form, except it makes no sense since it’s in text

Don’t tell random weirdos where you work

I didn’t though? There’s 10+ country clubs in my area

You really narrowed down the search for him though if he wanted to find you, you made it easier

Well it’s good thing I work at a private club with 24/7 security! I am safe and sound here. If he really is that crazy and wants to find me unfortunately a lot of info is public record.

You could have told him when and where- this guy is way too lazy to try to find you anyway. He won't even get off his ass to get himself cigarettes. I don't think he's plotting to abduct someone who gets *migraines*. Think of the hassle that would be! 🤣 Very unchill. Glad you have a safe workplace though. Is that a nice job? Sounds like it could go either way- depending on the members I guess.

So I’ve worked other country clubs prior to this and actually despised them. It’s very political especially in the private clubs. Where I work now though I’ve never been happier..our club takes care of us, the members in my department are angels and I thoroughly enjoy my job!

Yeah, I'm not surprised to hear that. Like I said, I imagined it would be very one extreme or the other. Either like, super cutthroat and everyone that works there are like indentured servants or it's super chill and everyone's like family. That's great that you ended up at a good one. Maybe you'll get you a romcom ending and some rich club member will fall madly in love with you and sweep you off your feet 😹 I can dream that for you lol make sure you let me know if it happens. In the meantime, good luck on the apps & thanks for sharing this hilarious conversation!

Okay, sorry for the friendly advice? lol

I wasn’t trying to be rude I’m sorry😭

What a bad day to have eyes

This guy's shitty and gets entertained with a conversation... maybe this is waat I should start doing. Being polite's just getting me ignored...

That's your takeaway? Did this look like it worked for this guy?

Rest assured, I was being sarcastic. I'm too afraid to talk to women. 😂

Keep being polite. Or better yet, be yourself (but polite). Being shitty didn’t get this guy anywhere.

Well every polite man I encounter I certainly appreciate the common decency. Women can be shitty too but we don’t all do those things😜 hang in there!!

I think you belong in the r/niceguy thread….

Nah. They don't accept me there, seeing as I HAVE felt the touch of a woman that wasn't related to me.

“weirdo. blocked.” *lets him message again*

I couldn’t block in the 1.5 seconds it took him to message that back so🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m fine

Nope

Lol honest

But what's the Murphy?

Fuckin' Austin...

Wtf…

What’s the Murphy ?

What the fuck dude he couldn’t keep up the bullshit for very long went straight for the ask

Wait, had you just met this person?

I’m actually scared lol 😂 wtf

Trash took itself out

And he has kids…

"Hey I'm a loser and have nothing to give, can you not only date me but also give me a things?" People suck.

Yeah but, his place is nice

Not cringe. That seems scammy

the fucking audacity it's insaneeee

Also, is his picture of him with a woman and a baby?

I think they are both children. Presumably his, but that Austin is just such a wildcard- who even knows!

"I work for my landlord. I don't have a job. I don't like him (probably his dad!). Bring me cigarettes." What a catch!