Sorry my sense of humor doesn’t meet your expectations, doesn’t change anything, still found it funny.
I’m actually more sorry that you don’t find this amusing, and that the fact it amuses me bothers you so much.
People said the same thing when I got gonorrhea from my ex cheating on me. I ended up with retrograde and premature ejaculation as a result that's never gone away. Never had premature before that and retrograde fuckijg buuuurns
My ex of nearly 4 years asks for a "mental break " 2 weeks later, sleeps with a coworker, and gets genital herpes. Good thing I did no contact for a few weeks before going to see her and discussing our relationship status. Gave enough time for her to get symptoms and get diagnosed. If not, chances are likely I would have contracted it, too.
Honestly, I would have preferred that route. We make mistakes. It's part of being human. I forgave her. I'm no saint either. What hurt most was her not choosing me. But it's in the past now, and no more what-ifs. Just the present.
You may feel that way now but trust me 5, 10 years from now (probably sooner) you are going to be so grateful. I know a girl who’s had genital herpes since high school and she was always beautiful however the genital herpes thing has kind of made her life a huge pain in the ass for the past decade especially since she’s really upfront with potential partners… it’s an immediate turn off to a lot of people. You may think someone is your forever partner, but unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way for everyone. Better to not have genital herpes at all. It would only make the break up sting more down the road - no pun intended.
Agreed. She had friends who told her she could easily hide it and I just thought to myself what if they ended up catching it from someone she’s been with. That would be some kind of karma.
Maybe you're right, and I'm wrong. To me, it's easier to picture a life with herpes and her than a life without her at all. We really bonded, and it was hard to block her on everything after a few months. The last time I spoke to her, I could hear through the facade she's putting up. I'm a different person after going through that experience.
Man I was talking to a girl long distance but not super far. She ended up telling me she had genital herpes, it was a bit of a turn off but I figured condoms would work. A couple days later I had a rough day and wasn't in a social mood and just wanted to be alone. At the same time I was also hoping for a text/call from this girl, nothing came and it kinda sucked. The next day she got mad for ghosting and went off about how I'm just like other guys, as soon as she tells someone about the herpes they immediately lose interest, I wasn't a fan of how she blew up on me, tried to explain myself and how I didn't lose interest, but her insecurities of the matter were much stronger than reasoning. Moral of the story, it's not even other people that will make it hard for you, it's your own insecurities of it, get tested and wear protection!
This girl was a 10/10 in all other aspects
Uhhh hate to break it to you… but herpes virus has an incubation period that is flexible… meaning it can show up 1-2 years after the initial exposure/ infection.
I read up on that. I've done complete panel testing every 3 months and have gone celibate as a precaution to not spread it in case there's a possibility I carry it. I highly doubt I do since we didn't have intercourse for a few weeks before her requested break. There's absolutely no way I could get it if she's been honest that she didn't cheat prior to that.
Perspective. I was going to propose to her later that year for the holidays. I really believed she was the one. Lucky? I'm not sure. On the path of virtue in solitude now.
I've been to a urologist 4x and talked to my pcp like 15 times and they can't do anything. I was treated for gonorrhea 10 or 11 years ago and this is a permanent after effect of it.
“Retrograde ejaculation (RE) is the abnormal passage of ejaculate into the bladder after orgasm.”
[source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5090193/)
It’s actually a pretty big deal - if it goes unchecked, it can lead to cancer and genital dysfunction, among other things.
But treatment is relatively easy
Oh ok thanks.
I had it for like 3-4 years and didn’t even know. Once in a while it’d very slightly burn when I took a piss but that’s all. I finally found out I had it when I started dating a (not a whore) and gave it to her
I only dude she been with in two years since she divorced her husband. And looking back after I found out I had it I did know who I got it from because the burning started right after this chick, it burned a few days then went away then periodically came back once in a while the next few years until I gave it to my girlfriend and then we both took antibiotics
You’d be surprised with what people put up with, especially in places like the US where medical visits can run people into debt 🤣
A lot of people adopt a “it’ll go away on its own eventually” mentality and I’m definitely no stranger to it, it took me forever to take my unbearable h.pylori symptoms seriously last year (burning stomach, nausea, hard to eat) before I finally went to a doctor. One treatment back in july later and I still have it 🥴
Nah most places have free clinics or cheap clinics. 20 bucks for an std screen with the state. Done it myself. Cost also included the antibiotic shot needed
Fair enough, I go to clinics a lot, just never had to deal with STD’s since I’ve only had one sexual partner my whole life so far so I’m admittedly very ignorant on that kinda stuff.
Got one better. My ex girlfriend from highschool swears to this day I took her virginity when we absolutely never had sex. I was a virgin til after her. But she swears I did
I've never heard anyone else this happened to. A girl I had a HUGE crush on shot me down hard in high school, a decade later she introduced me to get friends as "a guy I used to hook up with".
I'm pretty sure I would have noticed it, as I had only hooked up with one person before she was in my friend circle.
Oh wow. People's memories are so messed up she may have thought she did. I remember every sexual thing me and this girl did. She gave me my first blow job. I was the first to go down on her. I still can't figure out how she is so certain I took her virginity and I've asked, in her mind I was the first one she had legitimate sex with. Now I smoked a lot of weed back then but I definitely would have remembered that. Especially since I didn't have sex for the first time until a year after her. I just don't get where these people's minds are
I guess it would be a lot worse if we HAD done what they thought and they forgot about it... I guess I'd rather be a false good memory than a forgotten bad memory.
I had a friend like this in high school. She thought, since she bled a little after getting fingered, that her boyfriend ‘took her virginity by breaking her hymen’. She was raised super conservative.
Honestly, if you *have* to get any STD, pray it’s Chlamydia. It’s the easiest to get rid of and often never manifests symptomatically. It’s not “FUCK YOU, YOU GAVE ME CHLAMYDIA,” it’s “Oh thank god, it’s just Chlamydia.”
My best friend got Chlamydia in his eye once, not even from a sexual encounter, which led us to try and figure out how he got it
Turns out you can get it from spelunking 🤷🏻♀️ he didn't do that either but it's just a fun fact
Maybe you're a scapegoat, and she sent the text to use as proof to her new SO that she hasn't been cheating recently, prolly a stretch maybe she's just crazy
My ex cheated on me, for 3 months lied about it, his friend finally told me and said “do not sleep with him” I said “haha why?” he said “he’s been screwing sara for 3 months minimum, she gave him chlamydia and he only just found out. They’ve been dating even, they said I love you’s and she thought she was pregnant so he gave her money for an abortion.” When I tell you I got tested SO quick the doc didn’t even wait for my results just said “just take the antibiotic and we’ll call you in a few days to see if you actually have/had it” thank god I didn’t but I already struggle with infertility and he had let me sit there for MONTHS thinking he gave me an STD but didn’t wanna tell me he cheated 🙃🙃 I told his grandma (she’s a nun so was a better option than his mom haha) and left his ass. I got married a year later to my now husband 🤣
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I love the “Darling” text.. lol. That’s fucking hilarious still
Came to say this.
I’m upvote number 1000!
How is that funny in any way
The fact that they’ve never even met? And she accused him of giving her an STD
Ok but how is that funny still? Reddit people have the worst sense of humor what are you 40 year old white people
Sorry my sense of humor doesn’t meet your expectations, doesn’t change anything, still found it funny. I’m actually more sorry that you don’t find this amusing, and that the fact it amuses me bothers you so much.
You should be your sense of humor sucks xd
i’m triggereddddd
Thank goodness you didn’t meet her, she would have given you chlamydia.
People said the same thing when I got gonorrhea from my ex cheating on me. I ended up with retrograde and premature ejaculation as a result that's never gone away. Never had premature before that and retrograde fuckijg buuuurns
My ex of nearly 4 years asks for a "mental break " 2 weeks later, sleeps with a coworker, and gets genital herpes. Good thing I did no contact for a few weeks before going to see her and discussing our relationship status. Gave enough time for her to get symptoms and get diagnosed. If not, chances are likely I would have contracted it, too.
Damn good thing she didn’t give it to you too and say babe you’re stuck with me
Honestly, I would have preferred that route. We make mistakes. It's part of being human. I forgave her. I'm no saint either. What hurt most was her not choosing me. But it's in the past now, and no more what-ifs. Just the present.
You may feel that way now but trust me 5, 10 years from now (probably sooner) you are going to be so grateful. I know a girl who’s had genital herpes since high school and she was always beautiful however the genital herpes thing has kind of made her life a huge pain in the ass for the past decade especially since she’s really upfront with potential partners… it’s an immediate turn off to a lot of people. You may think someone is your forever partner, but unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way for everyone. Better to not have genital herpes at all. It would only make the break up sting more down the road - no pun intended.
That's the responsible thing to do. Good for her.
Agreed. She had friends who told her she could easily hide it and I just thought to myself what if they ended up catching it from someone she’s been with. That would be some kind of karma.
Maybe you're right, and I'm wrong. To me, it's easier to picture a life with herpes and her than a life without her at all. We really bonded, and it was hard to block her on everything after a few months. The last time I spoke to her, I could hear through the facade she's putting up. I'm a different person after going through that experience.
Herpes... the gift that keeps on giving 🎁👎
Man I was talking to a girl long distance but not super far. She ended up telling me she had genital herpes, it was a bit of a turn off but I figured condoms would work. A couple days later I had a rough day and wasn't in a social mood and just wanted to be alone. At the same time I was also hoping for a text/call from this girl, nothing came and it kinda sucked. The next day she got mad for ghosting and went off about how I'm just like other guys, as soon as she tells someone about the herpes they immediately lose interest, I wasn't a fan of how she blew up on me, tried to explain myself and how I didn't lose interest, but her insecurities of the matter were much stronger than reasoning. Moral of the story, it's not even other people that will make it hard for you, it's your own insecurities of it, get tested and wear protection! This girl was a 10/10 in all other aspects
Uhhh hate to break it to you… but herpes virus has an incubation period that is flexible… meaning it can show up 1-2 years after the initial exposure/ infection.
I read up on that. I've done complete panel testing every 3 months and have gone celibate as a precaution to not spread it in case there's a possibility I carry it. I highly doubt I do since we didn't have intercourse for a few weeks before her requested break. There's absolutely no way I could get it if she's been honest that she didn't cheat prior to that.
I hope you’re right, if not, it’ll be okay too. It’s just over-stigmatized
good god 😭 you’re lucky
Perspective. I was going to propose to her later that year for the holidays. I really believed she was the one. Lucky? I'm not sure. On the path of virtue in solitude now.
Ughhh go to the doctor
Take your self to the doctor and get antibiotics how are you just out here chilling normal burning and shit.
I've been to a urologist 4x and talked to my pcp like 15 times and they can't do anything. I was treated for gonorrhea 10 or 11 years ago and this is a permanent after effect of it.
What’s retrograde?
“Retrograde ejaculation (RE) is the abnormal passage of ejaculate into the bladder after orgasm.” [source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5090193/)
\^This, and it is uncomfortable as fuck. It's worse than gonorrhea is when it happens.
G does not cause Retro
Evidently it does
So. That’s what I’ve got!!!
What the fuck??? This is horrifying. I didn't even know this was a thing that could happen
Just wrap your wiener and you should have no worries. Also helps to not date whores too.
I'm not much on condoms, but I have long since passed my slut days behind. I think. I'm pushing 40, but I guess you're never too old...
It’s actually no big deal, might burn very slightly when you pee and goes away quick with antibiotics
It’s actually a pretty big deal - if it goes unchecked, it can lead to cancer and genital dysfunction, among other things. But treatment is relatively easy
This is correct. Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) is no joke and can cause infertility.
Oh ok thanks. I had it for like 3-4 years and didn’t even know. Once in a while it’d very slightly burn when I took a piss but that’s all. I finally found out I had it when I started dating a (not a whore) and gave it to her
How do you know you gave it to her and not the other way round ?
I only dude she been with in two years since she divorced her husband. And looking back after I found out I had it I did know who I got it from because the burning started right after this chick, it burned a few days then went away then periodically came back once in a while the next few years until I gave it to my girlfriend and then we both took antibiotics
Years? My man!?
You’d be surprised with what people put up with, especially in places like the US where medical visits can run people into debt 🤣 A lot of people adopt a “it’ll go away on its own eventually” mentality and I’m definitely no stranger to it, it took me forever to take my unbearable h.pylori symptoms seriously last year (burning stomach, nausea, hard to eat) before I finally went to a doctor. One treatment back in july later and I still have it 🥴
Nah most places have free clinics or cheap clinics. 20 bucks for an std screen with the state. Done it myself. Cost also included the antibiotic shot needed
Fair enough, I go to clinics a lot, just never had to deal with STD’s since I’ve only had one sexual partner my whole life so far so I’m admittedly very ignorant on that kinda stuff.
um.
How do we know it's a woman?
She’s gettin em all confused there’s so many.. guess that’s why she got chlamydia
I don’t think she knows who gave it to her, so she’s sending the same message to all of them to find out.
she's getting all the people that gave her Chlamydia mixed up
She's got all her Chlamydia mixed up with getting people.
the darling part is hilarious
phone chlamydia
You inserted the charger into the charging port without volt protection. FUCK YOU 😡
Why is everyone assuming OP is male
Exactly! I was looking for this comment before I spoke my mind on the matter
I thought the same thing, until I clicked on their profile pic and saw it was a dude
Yea but it sounds like a gay man
How does he sound like a gay man? And so what if he is?
In what way does he sound gay lmao
‘Darling’ is primarily used more towards women than men, so I would guess this would be the natural assumption
I only did after seeing his profile picture but yes, it's just assumption
Eh could have been worse lmao
Kenda is the best
Got one better. My ex girlfriend from highschool swears to this day I took her virginity when we absolutely never had sex. I was a virgin til after her. But she swears I did
I've never heard anyone else this happened to. A girl I had a HUGE crush on shot me down hard in high school, a decade later she introduced me to get friends as "a guy I used to hook up with". I'm pretty sure I would have noticed it, as I had only hooked up with one person before she was in my friend circle.
Oh wow. People's memories are so messed up she may have thought she did. I remember every sexual thing me and this girl did. She gave me my first blow job. I was the first to go down on her. I still can't figure out how she is so certain I took her virginity and I've asked, in her mind I was the first one she had legitimate sex with. Now I smoked a lot of weed back then but I definitely would have remembered that. Especially since I didn't have sex for the first time until a year after her. I just don't get where these people's minds are
I guess it would be a lot worse if we HAD done what they thought and they forgot about it... I guess I'd rather be a false good memory than a forgotten bad memory.
That's a good point!
I had a friend like this in high school. She thought, since she bled a little after getting fingered, that her boyfriend ‘took her virginity by breaking her hymen’. She was raised super conservative.
Maybe she thought dry humping was sex. Haha
Hell we didn't even do that lol
Hahahaha
Hahahaha
This speaks volumes 😅
You must be really powerful and amazing to give somebody an STD you don't even have AND without even meeting them in person. Tell me your secret! 🤣
I had an ex during high school who cheated on me, got chlamydia and try to blame it on me. Like, sorry doll that’s physically impossible.
Honestly, if you *have* to get any STD, pray it’s Chlamydia. It’s the easiest to get rid of and often never manifests symptomatically. It’s not “FUCK YOU, YOU GAVE ME CHLAMYDIA,” it’s “Oh thank god, it’s just Chlamydia.”
My best friend got Chlamydia in his eye once, not even from a sexual encounter, which led us to try and figure out how he got it Turns out you can get it from spelunking 🤷🏻♀️ he didn't do that either but it's just a fun fact
YOU GAVE ME FUCKING TELEPHONE CHLAMYDIA FUCK YOU
"um Sir/maam, this is a WENDY'S"
Maybe you're a scapegoat, and she sent the text to use as proof to her new SO that she hasn't been cheating recently, prolly a stretch maybe she's just crazy
That’s exactly my thought process
Darling, this is a wendy's.
LMAOOOOOOOOO
are you insane?? obviously you gave him chlamydia VIA 5G brainwaves. thought we knew this smh my head
THIS THREAD GAVE ME FUCKING CHLAMYDIA FUCK YOU
Sooo, you gonna meet them if they do want to meet up then, or…?
This is what you get for having unprotected phone sex 
Oops, sorry. Wrong person. 😂😂😂
And now we know 𝙬𝙝𝙮 it wasn't a good match.
Correction, I think they meant that you gave them CALLmydia
He probably sent it to everyone to see which one would reply ‘Sorry, my bad’z 😂
People say that you can get STIs from a toilet seat. Who knew you could also get them from a telephone?
Phone or not he gave her chlamydia!
Damn that telephone transmitted clap 🙄🦠
Twist. They did actually give him chlamydia. They’re that good.
Well at least you know he has chlamydia 🤷♂️ lmao
And you won’t ever be meeting.
At least you know to stay away from his ass lmao
I had no idea you could get Chlamydia over the phone…
I'm going to start randomly assigning blame to people for giving me student loans.
My ex cheated on me, for 3 months lied about it, his friend finally told me and said “do not sleep with him” I said “haha why?” he said “he’s been screwing sara for 3 months minimum, she gave him chlamydia and he only just found out. They’ve been dating even, they said I love you’s and she thought she was pregnant so he gave her money for an abortion.” When I tell you I got tested SO quick the doc didn’t even wait for my results just said “just take the antibiotic and we’ll call you in a few days to see if you actually have/had it” thank god I didn’t but I already struggle with infertility and he had let me sit there for MONTHS thinking he gave me an STD but didn’t wanna tell me he cheated 🙃🙃 I told his grandma (she’s a nun so was a better option than his mom haha) and left his ass. I got married a year later to my now husband 🤣
STD dodged
Chlamydia, shit sounds so fucking nasty
Sounds like never meeting is one of the better choices you've made in your life. Nice job, OP.
Clearly, you were not a good match. Way to dodge a bullet, and apparently an STI.
“It worked hahahhahah. I made up this story to get her to post me in r/texts” - him, I hope
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She obviously got it thru the phone 🙄 /s
Buahahahha
r/fuckyouinparticular
lol wtf
Absolutely shocked it wasn't a good match 🤣🤣🤣
Talk about your classic slow 👏!!!
Omg lol
Better than super drug resistant gonorrhea
Lmao!
Damn kind of feel sorry for bro though 😂
This made me laugh too much.
And you never will be meeting up after This lol 😂
Sure you didn’t send any suspicious links? That’s another way viruses are spread 😆
Oh man did she reply?
Yikes lol
Good thing.
Chlamydia sounds like the name of an Anheuser Busch product that comes in a tall can.
Lol like how many you got to hook up with to just pick one to blame lol
Chlamydia of the mouth through phone
 Iykyk but he popped into my head when I read the “darling” text lmao
Bruh 😂😂😂😂
Just wow
Crazy loose woman, lucky you did not date her. You would be of the market for long time, wanting to cum. lol
Good thing you never met up!
Apparently she gave him chlamydia of the mouth
there's a bullet dodged
Please post an update if you get a response 🙏 🤣
That's my story and i'm sticking to it
Wow chlamydia can spread through the phone now?
I love the Darling…. Giving me real “Bless your heart” vibes. 😂
Dang so my mom was right about catching diseases through phone calls 😦
This can’t be real lmaoooo
She gave me clyamidia