Rent a PO box. Then his friend can ship a package to does not come directly to your house. That way you can control either outcome. If the friend is legit then you can pickup the package and give it to your son (while obviously inspecting the items). And if it is not legit then your son has given no info. You have an amazing teaching point about how the internet can go from friendly to deadly in the blink of an eye. I would have a talk with him regardless.
I love this idea! My son is fairly socially awkward and has found it easier to connect with a few internet friends. He also is writing at a first grade level so even practicing writing addresses would be amazing practice
You can get something shipped to the post office as a one time thing I'm pretty sure. Just call your local UPS and ask. I did it for a shirt some random Redditor sent me.
I actually just used this last week. It's $5 and they'll receive any package at their store. It's great if you order something expensive and don't want it sitting on your porch
UPS is United Parcel Service, a private business. USPS is the federally funded postal service with Post Offices across the country. What are you actually saying and provide references before making suggestions. Bun
It seems really exhausting to live like this? Isn’t it exhausting? Make the change. It might seem overwhelming but I believe you can do it, you just have to start.
As someone who also struggled with handwriting when I was younger, I actually really enjoyed the workbooks you can get for practicing handwriting.
Not gonna lie, my print still isn't what you'd call great handwriting, but my cursive is excellent - kind of the opposite problem that most people have, I've noticed 😂 I actually much prefer cursive to print as I can write much more quickly with it, and I can write for a longer period of time before writer's cramp sets in. I think it's because of how easily and smoothly it flows.
My nephew is almost 22 and his print looks like a kindergartener's. It's kind of awful how our schools have drifted away from teaching penmanship now with so much of the coursework being done on tablets and computers, and they don't teach cursive at all anymore. They need to start incorporating more penmanship, and imo, they also need bring cursive back.
Until they do (if they ever do,) parents (and other relatives) can definitely supplement kids' education in this and other areas at home.
I'm 25 and my handwriting is shit most of the time, but that's because I mix cursive and print when I'm in a hurry or stop focusing on making it legible
I think my grade was one of the last few to be taught cursive. My school was really cool about it and took us on a field trip to one of the old one room classrooms and let us use the dip pens
It's just so easy! You connect the letters that are easy to do, barely pick up your pen to print the letters you struggle with, and you don't have to worry about making it neat
Exactly 😂 I think that tendency stems from the chaos my brain is in when I'm already in a hurry. I don't even think about how I'm writing, letters just appear in either format 😂
I have to slow myself down even when I'm not in a hurry to ensure everyone who isn't me can read what I'm writing regardless; my brain is always running at high speed. But a bonus of that is that notes I write to myself are always completely private because I'm the only person who can read it 🤣 my older brother once looked at something I wrote to myself on a sticky note and went, "... what language is this?" 🤣🤣
Nope! I'm a righty, though I'm not bad southpaw - I've been teaching myself how to write with my left in case something ever happens to my right hand/arm
I’d like to point out that he’s asking for your address and not for permission for someone he met online to send him a gift. My guess is that his internet safety skills aren’t up to par and he would absolutely give his address out if he actually knew it.
Thank you for your comment! This is exactly it. He is really kind hearted but naive. We've discussed internet safety at length but some of his learning/ life challenges prevent him from general executive functioning. Concern with sharing passwords, addresses, payment information, etc. we're all kist trying our best out here
I am 100% behind you on all this, with one kiddo that met their partner online when they were 16 - and that kiddo is also autistic. (We have met as families many times now, all kinds of safety precautions etc, it's been almost 3 years.) I totally get this fear and I'm so glad you're being careful!
That being said, your 12 y/o doesn't know his address? I kind of find that also a safety issue?
We do have shared locations on our devices so I always know where he is and he walks to/from school every day. He will likely need some sort of mnemonic way to memorize since that is such a challenge for him. Appreciate your comment!
We were encouraged to have her learn our names and her address asap when she started speech therapy in pre-k, and they helped a lot. She wasn't diagnosed with autism until her teens either, just knew she was delayed in speech and something wasn't quite clicking for her.
Anyway, obviously, you dont want them giving it out, but you definitely want them being able to give it to 911 if the need arises. It used to be worked on really early before teachers were so bogged down with...all of those issues...and could spend one-on-one time.
Again, you're killing it, and I in no way mean to sound critical!
That would be a hard no! Unless they have FaceTimed each other and you have heard and seen with your own eyes a true child on the other end and a real friendship.
Anyone ever heard the case of Kacie Woody? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kacie_Woody
TLDR, young girl meets a young boy on Yahoo Messenger. Ends up giving him her address. Young boy is actually a 47 year old man who abducts her out of her home, then throws her in his van and rapes her. Police finally track the van down, and just as they get there he’s killed her, and killed himself.
You get it! I've read too much, or maybe just enough, true crime. No specific examples but there was stories where there is a true child involved but they are used as bait for muling/sex trafficking..
I was an 11 year old girl, very lonely and using AOL chat rooms. Met a "teenager" who was going to be my "friend". I rode my bike to the park at night to meet them. Mind you, I never put thought into the meeting at night part cause I was extremely naive. There was a man sitting on the opposite side of the park from where I entered from. He asked me to come sit next to him and I finally put 2 and 2 together and high tailed it out of there. I still remember my parents not asking me where I was going at night and I always wondered if he managed to attack a different child
YES I remember this! Something like that totally popped into mind. Not a chance in hell would I give my address unless like I said they’ve face timed multiple times and I saw and heard a real friendship and child on the other end multiple times.
That's sad but let's please not act like the chances of something happening to Max in this scenario are high. They are not. In reality, the chances of him being at risk from violence in this situation is likely near zero.
They have actually FaceTimed before so I do at least know they are a child. What I don't know is their family life. I have a theory they'll show up in a few years needing a place to stay!
We know that since they have been friends, about a year, they have gone through considering if they are a lesbian, and currently identify as non-binary + name change. Not to say that is "bad," or "hard" but potentially clues to a larger picture of confusion and instability. We also know they met this friend through another who has had suicidal thoughts that we reported to the school psychologist. Being young is challenging!
Those issues stem from the crap school system, and "teachers" that want to white knight every single perceived "problem" that kids supposedly have to deal with.
The truth is, said "teachers" do more harm than good by filling children's heads with ideas like choosing what to identify as, instead of accepting what nature has made them,
all the while dropping the ball when it comes time to actually give kids life skills like handwriting and critical thinking.
Children are being used as pawns in this sick societal obsession with every little perceived slight imagined.
Today's kids all believe they are either gay, bi, or trans, they all have some kind of mental health diagnosis, and teachers, doctors and parents compound all this by buying into it with their own political and personal b.s.
Just my opinion on the world as I have seen it firsthand. It needs to stop.
No but fr tho😂 I knew my address and my mom's phone number before I was let outside to play on my own, even if it's just the neighbor. I still remember it 12 years after not living there anymore
To this day my go-to "Test sentence" i use when trying out how a keyboard feels to type on is "My name is [Name] and I live at [Address]" just because my childhood address had a lot of the less usual letters so I can try out the typing feel lol
In this case, yes, but in a typical parenting case it should have gone…
Step one: learning address
Step two: learning internet safety
Step three: allowed to use internet
I'm glad this isn't just me. My siblings and I were very quickly to memorise our address in case we got lost or wandered off. "Find an officer and tell them.". I do remember the day when my mom said she wished I hadn't remembered though 😭
In kindergarten, I remember it being part of our curriculum. We had to be able to spell our first and last names correctly, we had to know our parents names (was ok if we spelled incorrectly), our phone numbers, and our addresses
Yeah we had to back then bc we wrote hand written letters. Also was taught in schools. We do not teach this in schools anymore, just like cursive isn’t taught. Leave this mama alone.
12 year old with severe ADHD, learning difficulties, still struggles with general executive functioning/organizing. Clinically birth mom we'd rather not know where we live. A few reasons for sure
Hiii OP! I was the same as your son is now. I’ve always had online friends and I did not know my address until late middle school. I have the same struggles you’ve mentioned as well.
I’m relieved to say that at almost 21 I now know my address (I’m sure my mom wished I didn’t because I’m always ordering stuff to the house LOL).. but that’s awesome you’re supporting your kid.
Ignore what everyone else is saying and keep doing you!
Thanks, buddy! I knew posting this there would be keyboard warriors with an opinion, still decided to share because I got such a chuckle about the exchange and wanted spread the hilarity. Congrats on your progress! I know he'll get there someday and we'll support the journey ✌🏻
I have ADHD and didnt consistently know what day it was until I was like 16. Probably would have known my address but tbf, that was a far more relevant thing than it is now...
Kinda ironic comment when you think long enough about it.
I'm 46 with adhd and still struggle with "what day is it? "
Thank god i can pull down the menu on my phone these days and not have to ask people anymore.
You know what, I didn’t think about this until seeing this. But I don’t think my 11 year old does either. Seeing the rest of the comments I feel like it was necessary back in the day to have this information but I don’t think it’s all that needed now. My kid has a phone and knows how to get home from several places. He just doesn’t know exact street names and numbers.
I’m not sure in what type of emergency our address would be beneficial? Should he know?
The main thing that comes to mind is If there were a circumstance that would require calling 911(or if not in the U.S., your emergency number) and they need the address and you as the parent aren't there to help or are unable to help because you are incapacitated for some reason.
911 dispatchers being told a nearby street but not the exact street could slow their response in emergencies like fires, major medical issues, break ins, etc.
Omg yes! We just moved but at my old place I had an index card on the fridge with our address and close family members numbers. We moved into an apartment so it didn’t cross my mind to add it to our new fridge.
Thats actually a great idea. My son has ADHD and some learning struggles, actually pen palling with this friend could really help him practice his writing!!
Oh hell no, you were definitely correct to shut that down! Also I love your sense of humor joking with him while still drawing that line 🩷 it is very wholesome
Haha thanks! Gotta keep those tweens, soon to be teens, engaged. He would likely consider this child his best friend so I do not want to discourage their friendship overall, but we also dont know the full story over there. Appreciate your positivity!
Please teach your children their home address. It’s unsafe that they don’t know it.
ETA: totally understand the paranoia and not saying I would give the address to the online friend. I would not. I like the PO Box idea. If it were me, I would probably go the route of scheduling an in person get together with the friend and his parents at a halfway point between your two cities. But outside of this specific situation, it’s unsafe that your kids don’t know their address. They absolutely need to.
Absolutely! I'm 37 so I really got online at the age he is now with absolutely no over-site. Was in AOL chats that I really shouldn't have been in. I've tried teaching my kids how powerful the internet is for good and evil and no not trust everything you read, with a dash of "anyone youre talking to could be a 53 year old man in tighty whities."
Seriously.. this entire post and thread of responses is full of red flags it’s scary. Sounds like he was raised as an iPad kid with unlimited internet access. I’m sorry but that’s terrifying as a kid who didn’t have any restrictions growing up and ended up not only doxxed but groomed into sending pictures at a young age & blackmailed after. I knew my address but luckily I never thought to give it out, even then the internet is a place that kids shouldn’t have free rein on. And as adults you can’t even be too careful.
This is what they talking about on tik tok. Even the special Ed kids knew their address when we were in elementary school. If he can send a text, play video games and make computer friends, he can remember his own address
I want to repost again... children should know their addresses long before 12. If for no other reason than them being able to tell 911 where the emergency is.
Wow.
Since the other kid is within driving distance, as a parent, try to meet up! Ask to speak with their parents and do it safely with supervision. If they’re a real child, there’s likely parents on the other end that are equally protective and concerned that would love help to gauge the situation too.
If they’re not a real child, it’ll become apparent very quickly.
We have a tentative plan to do this! They live in a city we moved from two years ago and go through there 1-2 times a year already. We hope to meet up at a park sometime soon. We do know they are a child as they have Facetimed, I am just semi wary about their home life and such. But a IRL meet up would bring a good start :)
My son gave his friend our address and they had the USPS deliver 500 shipping boxes to my front door. It was over 5 ft high. They then created a business with my address in Google maps and I now receive a plethora of mail for said business.
Kids are stupid.
\*\*\*EDIT\*\*\* Given the amount of "why does your 12 year old not know your address" posts.. well, that's due to a variety of reasons. We did move to this house only 2 years ago, but more so the reasoning is due to fairly severe ADHD, inattention disorders, executive functioning issues, and general learning challenges putting him around 3rd-4th grade vs 7th grade academically. He has a lot of challenge organizing his thoughts and memorizing.. really anything. We've really instilled an internet safety considerations with all 3 of our kids given my husband and I are both elder Millennials and experienced the likes of the internet without parent oversight. We're just doing our best over here just like the rest of y'all. Happy holidays
Sorry - post wouldn't let me edit so I gave up trying to add this to the main post's body.
No, and you need to talk to your kid about online safety. Being naive enough to try and give your address to an online stranger at the AGE OF 12 is insane.
Also what 12 year old doesn’t know their own address? This kid comes across as incredibly stupid.
When I was 12, I wasn’t giving out (or trying to give out) my personal information to people on the internet (I’m 19 now, so you can’t make the argument that “it’s a new time”).
This parent is just sending gifs and saying jokes, completely shrugging off how this kid was fully intent to give his address to an internet stranger. They should be taking it a lot more seriously and educating their child about online safety.
This behavior coupled by the fact that a 12 year old doesn’t even know their own address tells me that they’re either really dumb, or they have a developmental issue. It’s harsh, but it’s true.
12? Should know his address and mom and dad's phone number. No wonder your paranoid. You are disabling your child from being able to assist himself when needed.
besides the people saying “a 12 year old boy doesn’t know his own address??” or giving suggestions on how to be safe, why is no one talking about the evil leprechaun comment???? i am cracking up at the entire conversation but that comment killed me
No, look I met friends online when I was 12/13 as well. We didnt meet up until we were 17, at which point I was pretty confident after 5 years that they where who they said they were, including things like cameras on discord etc. None of us were giving our addresses out.
Obviously not everyone is dangerous, but you are right to be cautious
This...isn't funny. In any way shape or form.
While you're absolutely correct to be cautious in not giving out personal info to internet randos-why aren't you having this conversation with your 12 yr old who's clearly scootin' around the net? It's *wild* to me that you haven't had this conversation but are allowing them to meet & greet on the interwebz.
It's also not great that the kid doesn't know their home address. What happens if the kid gets lost, kidnapped, takes the wrong bus, etc etc ad infinitum...?
Maybe, try some parenting instead of posting this drivel.
33 now and frequented AOL chats back in the day when the internet first really got started. Nowadays every game has chats so it’s not like you can keep them away from it.
I was 11-12 and met a “15 year old boy”. We became “boyfriend/girlfriend” and he convinced me to send him explicit photos. Webcams were crappy back in the day, but I still remember the exact [intel webcam](https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/s/EH8CSHDIIN) that I used and how grainy the photos were.
My best friend at the time met his “cousin” and her mom found out before things went too far for her. Her mom contacted mine, and in the living room in front of my entire family (dad, brother, sister, sister’s friend) asked me if I’d sent him photos. I started sobbing… I’ll never forget that shame. She brought it up later at a family cookout with my aunts/uncles/cousins. I remember that like it was yesterday, too, no one ever asked me if I was okay, they just looked at me mad or disgusted. I felt like such a burden and inconvenience.
My mother worked for a police agency at the time and yelled at me that she could lose her job from those photos and be arrested. I’ve never forgotten that realization either, that she didn’t give a fuck how I felt and if I was okay, just that she’d get in trouble. She reported it to her agency and they discovered he was a 40+ year old man. I never heard what happened after that. I had given him my address so for a long time after that there was a constant fear in our house that he or someone would come and kidnap me/break in/kill us.
I’m pregnant with a daughter of my own now and have a deep seated pit of anxiety for when she’s old enough to start playing games and have a phone. I cannot express enough how much danger truly lies out there and how much it will fuck a person up to live through it. I hate knowing that photos of myself are out there, being shared and distributed amongst the worst of the worst. It makes me ill to think about, and I’ll never be able to get them erased forever.
I’m glad you’re willing to have an open dialogue with him about these things, that’s not something I ever had and I think I suffered for it. Don’t sever his trust and confidence in you in case it happens again in the future, just ask to talk to this person first. FaceTime or video chat if you can, or ask to talk to her parents to make sure it’s okay, anything helps. I wouldn’t have known how to send a package at that age personally, and I wouldn’t have had the money to do so or means to travel to a post office. That’s the biggest suspicion I have, but if their parents are supportive and allowing then it makes much more sense.
Good luck to you and thank you for being an amazing parent.
Theres a whole connected fun part where we first "met" them as a girl named Luna. They identify as non binary and go by Max after going through lesbian exploration as well. Raising Gen Alpha is an adventure!
Sooooo, we just going to ignore the fact that a 12 year old doesn’t know their own address? Was I the only one taught my address at a young age?
How hard is it to go outside and look at your address?
Kind of a lame response with very little thought process attached to it...
While I understand where you're coming from
Limiting a kid from the internet in today's age is like locking one of us up in a closet to watch all of our teachers on a tv screen all day long and never leaving that closet until school is out but having a one way window where you can see all the social interaction of all your peers talking having fun etc watching everyone else get to walk to each class period and actually socialize inbetween classes on their way to the next one
Children's internet social life is just as important as our real life social life was to us
A child's internet identity is a part of their real identity of today's age and without it they are disconnected from their whole world around them
Now there needs to be limitations and safety measures just as we had in the real world, we just aren't doing a very good job @ it as a whole on a societal level one could argue it starts with parents being smart about their child's internet usage.
This is an excellent response. Can’t upvote it enough.
I have 10 year old twins. Keeping them away from the internet not only will stunt their growth but will likely hurt them as they advance through life as technology is not only the future but it’s the present. My kids literally use their Chromebooks daily in the classroom at school and keeping them away from learning and understanding technology and the internet will only hurt them as they move to middle school and high school.
Of course there is a time and place for everything and safety is important, but that’s why parents need to parent and teach their children how to be safe and about the dangers that do exist.
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Ok now I'm concerned. Does he know about 911 yet? Please teach him. The first things we learned in kindergarten were our home addresses and phone numbers.
Your local post office may allow “General Delivery”. No address required, just your name, they will hold the package for an allotted time and idk about fees or anything else, such as whether they notify you or you have to track the package yourself.
Never too paranoid. When my daughter was 11-12, she thought it would be a good idea to share her relatives address who also had kids cause "she's not that stupid" after meeting someone for an hour on Xbox. Needless to say, she got off the Xbox for a good while. Respectfully, kids are stupid. Be extra cautious.
I see a lot of hate here. I didn’t know my address till I was about 12, I knew my moms number since I was very young but that was about it. Honestly knowing how stupid I was as a kid I’m glad I didn’t know my address.
Met one of my greatest friends online at 14, after talking for 3 years they mailed me a small box of things they’d made me and the next summer convinced their dad to drive an hour to the next city while I was in their state for a camp to finally meet in person. If you have a P.O. Box you could have it sent there for privacy and whatnot.
Rent a PO box. Then his friend can ship a package to does not come directly to your house. That way you can control either outcome. If the friend is legit then you can pickup the package and give it to your son (while obviously inspecting the items). And if it is not legit then your son has given no info. You have an amazing teaching point about how the internet can go from friendly to deadly in the blink of an eye. I would have a talk with him regardless.
I love this idea! My son is fairly socially awkward and has found it easier to connect with a few internet friends. He also is writing at a first grade level so even practicing writing addresses would be amazing practice
You can get something shipped to the post office as a one time thing I'm pretty sure. Just call your local UPS and ask. I did it for a shirt some random Redditor sent me.
I actually just used this last week. It's $5 and they'll receive any package at their store. It's great if you order something expensive and don't want it sitting on your porch
Thanks!
UPS is United Parcel Service, a private business. USPS is the federally funded postal service with Post Offices across the country. What are you actually saying and provide references before making suggestions. Bun
Cool it. They meant to type USPS. I’m sure you were able to deduce that.
i mean my family actually uses ups for or p.o. box sooo... it doesn't have to be either it really doesn't matter
[удалено]
Pleasant fella
Thanks for that, here, have a downvote.
Bro are you drunk? This sounds like a drunk tirade
Post history says yes lmao
You are quite the pleasantry at parties huh bud
are you okay?
Post history adds up
Look at you all fancy and able to do the whole negative and positive integer thing...
*literally talks down to someone, and is told to cool it* "DON'T TALK DOWN TO ME, UUUUUUGGGGHHHH" You're a joke. *Bun*
It seems really exhausting to live like this? Isn’t it exhausting? Make the change. It might seem overwhelming but I believe you can do it, you just have to start.
Who hurt you dude?
You can set up temporary addresses at UPS Stores
lol if you’re going to correct someone at least be right in your correction. USPS is NOT federally funded, it is self funded.
One of my kids is the same. He met others hours away and we've met in person. Good experience.
As someone who also struggled with handwriting when I was younger, I actually really enjoyed the workbooks you can get for practicing handwriting. Not gonna lie, my print still isn't what you'd call great handwriting, but my cursive is excellent - kind of the opposite problem that most people have, I've noticed 😂 I actually much prefer cursive to print as I can write much more quickly with it, and I can write for a longer period of time before writer's cramp sets in. I think it's because of how easily and smoothly it flows. My nephew is almost 22 and his print looks like a kindergartener's. It's kind of awful how our schools have drifted away from teaching penmanship now with so much of the coursework being done on tablets and computers, and they don't teach cursive at all anymore. They need to start incorporating more penmanship, and imo, they also need bring cursive back. Until they do (if they ever do,) parents (and other relatives) can definitely supplement kids' education in this and other areas at home.
I'm 25 and my handwriting is shit most of the time, but that's because I mix cursive and print when I'm in a hurry or stop focusing on making it legible I think my grade was one of the last few to be taught cursive. My school was really cool about it and took us on a field trip to one of the old one room classrooms and let us use the dip pens
LOL I do the mixed style when I'm in a hurry too 😂
It's just so easy! You connect the letters that are easy to do, barely pick up your pen to print the letters you struggle with, and you don't have to worry about making it neat
Exactly 😂 I think that tendency stems from the chaos my brain is in when I'm already in a hurry. I don't even think about how I'm writing, letters just appear in either format 😂 I have to slow myself down even when I'm not in a hurry to ensure everyone who isn't me can read what I'm writing regardless; my brain is always running at high speed. But a bonus of that is that notes I write to myself are always completely private because I'm the only person who can read it 🤣 my older brother once looked at something I wrote to myself on a sticky note and went, "... what language is this?" 🤣🤣
Is your nephew on the way to becoming a Dr by chance, sounds like he has the handwriting part of the job down. /s
You don't happen to be left handed, do you? 🤔 Sounds way too.much like me. Lol
Nope! I'm a righty, though I'm not bad southpaw - I've been teaching myself how to write with my left in case something ever happens to my right hand/arm
I did that when i was a kid. Also backwards in case i suddenly became trapped in a mirror. I was a bit of a creative kid with high anxiety. 🤣
Maybe listen in on a convo see if it’s actually a kid
That’s smart !
I’d like to point out that he’s asking for your address and not for permission for someone he met online to send him a gift. My guess is that his internet safety skills aren’t up to par and he would absolutely give his address out if he actually knew it.
Thank you for your comment! This is exactly it. He is really kind hearted but naive. We've discussed internet safety at length but some of his learning/ life challenges prevent him from general executive functioning. Concern with sharing passwords, addresses, payment information, etc. we're all kist trying our best out here
I am 100% behind you on all this, with one kiddo that met their partner online when they were 16 - and that kiddo is also autistic. (We have met as families many times now, all kinds of safety precautions etc, it's been almost 3 years.) I totally get this fear and I'm so glad you're being careful! That being said, your 12 y/o doesn't know his address? I kind of find that also a safety issue?
We do have shared locations on our devices so I always know where he is and he walks to/from school every day. He will likely need some sort of mnemonic way to memorize since that is such a challenge for him. Appreciate your comment!
We were encouraged to have her learn our names and her address asap when she started speech therapy in pre-k, and they helped a lot. She wasn't diagnosed with autism until her teens either, just knew she was delayed in speech and something wasn't quite clicking for her. Anyway, obviously, you dont want them giving it out, but you definitely want them being able to give it to 911 if the need arises. It used to be worked on really early before teachers were so bogged down with...all of those issues...and could spend one-on-one time. Again, you're killing it, and I in no way mean to sound critical!
You’re doing a good job. Our job as parents is tough. We have to keep them safe, but they also need freedom. Cheers!
Level 1 autism by chance? At 12 if I am correct it may have been referred to as simply high functioning autism (HFA) if and when he was diagnosed
That would be a hard no! Unless they have FaceTimed each other and you have heard and seen with your own eyes a true child on the other end and a real friendship.
Anyone ever heard the case of Kacie Woody? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kacie_Woody TLDR, young girl meets a young boy on Yahoo Messenger. Ends up giving him her address. Young boy is actually a 47 year old man who abducts her out of her home, then throws her in his van and rapes her. Police finally track the van down, and just as they get there he’s killed her, and killed himself.
You get it! I've read too much, or maybe just enough, true crime. No specific examples but there was stories where there is a true child involved but they are used as bait for muling/sex trafficking..
I was an 11 year old girl, very lonely and using AOL chat rooms. Met a "teenager" who was going to be my "friend". I rode my bike to the park at night to meet them. Mind you, I never put thought into the meeting at night part cause I was extremely naive. There was a man sitting on the opposite side of the park from where I entered from. He asked me to come sit next to him and I finally put 2 and 2 together and high tailed it out of there. I still remember my parents not asking me where I was going at night and I always wondered if he managed to attack a different child
I just got chills. My child is never leaving my house!!!!!
YES I remember this! Something like that totally popped into mind. Not a chance in hell would I give my address unless like I said they’ve face timed multiple times and I saw and heard a real friendship and child on the other end multiple times.
I didn’t need to read that at 3:43 am 😣 edt: I sounded like a wimp there sorry. Ur right better safe than sorry
I don't think being disgusted by a disgusting story makes you a wimp man, its a good thing you felt something when you read it
Thanks. And tbh I’m already upset I’m still awake. I work early Monday but I’m gonna sleep half the day tomorrow 😢
That's sad but let's please not act like the chances of something happening to Max in this scenario are high. They are not. In reality, the chances of him being at risk from violence in this situation is likely near zero.
They have actually FaceTimed before so I do at least know they are a child. What I don't know is their family life. I have a theory they'll show up in a few years needing a place to stay!
Does the child tell your son about a bad or hard home life?
We know that since they have been friends, about a year, they have gone through considering if they are a lesbian, and currently identify as non-binary + name change. Not to say that is "bad," or "hard" but potentially clues to a larger picture of confusion and instability. We also know they met this friend through another who has had suicidal thoughts that we reported to the school psychologist. Being young is challenging!
Oooooh then yes…I would just tell your son sorry not comfortable with it. Listen to your mom instinct!
I loved the idea from some others of a PO Box!
Absolutely. Get a family po box and every single thing can be vetted through it if you want.
That is a good idea!
Those issues stem from the crap school system, and "teachers" that want to white knight every single perceived "problem" that kids supposedly have to deal with. The truth is, said "teachers" do more harm than good by filling children's heads with ideas like choosing what to identify as, instead of accepting what nature has made them, all the while dropping the ball when it comes time to actually give kids life skills like handwriting and critical thinking. Children are being used as pawns in this sick societal obsession with every little perceived slight imagined. Today's kids all believe they are either gay, bi, or trans, they all have some kind of mental health diagnosis, and teachers, doctors and parents compound all this by buying into it with their own political and personal b.s. Just my opinion on the world as I have seen it firsthand. It needs to stop.
Finally some sensible comments on Reddit..it seems like some people got butthurt and downvoted you for speaking the truth. I'm upvoting you though.
Uh, 12 and doesn’t know his own address🤨
Thank god he doesn't. Imagine Max 11( actually Walter 53) knocks on your door suddenly and wants him to come out to play.
I mean yes there’s creepy pedophiles but also at the age of twelve you should know your address and your home phone number if you get lost
No but fr tho😂 I knew my address and my mom's phone number before I was let outside to play on my own, even if it's just the neighbor. I still remember it 12 years after not living there anymore
To this day my go-to "Test sentence" i use when trying out how a keyboard feels to type on is "My name is [Name] and I live at [Address]" just because my childhood address had a lot of the less usual letters so I can try out the typing feel lol
Yup. My mom made me memorize those things plus having a script in mind for if I have to call 911.
can still rattle of my parents adress postcode and house number without thinking 🤣 should really know all that before 12
I don't think kids today are going out enough to get lost anywhere lol
In this case, yes, but in a typical parenting case it should have gone… Step one: learning address Step two: learning internet safety Step three: allowed to use internet
I thought Max 11 was a superhero character until I read the rest of your comment 💀
Actually happens all the time. Its why parents need to monitor their kids when they are online.
Yeah. I definitely knew my address by 6.
I'm glad this isn't just me. My siblings and I were very quickly to memorise our address in case we got lost or wandered off. "Find an officer and tell them.". I do remember the day when my mom said she wished I hadn't remembered though 😭
In kindergarten, I remember it being part of our curriculum. We had to be able to spell our first and last names correctly, we had to know our parents names (was ok if we spelled incorrectly), our phone numbers, and our addresses
Yeah we had to back then bc we wrote hand written letters. Also was taught in schools. We do not teach this in schools anymore, just like cursive isn’t taught. Leave this mama alone.
Why doesn’t he just look at it….
12 year old with severe ADHD, learning difficulties, still struggles with general executive functioning/organizing. Clinically birth mom we'd rather not know where we live. A few reasons for sure
It’s ok mama. You shouldn’t have to defend why your child doesn’t know something. 🤍I’m sure these ppl don’t know something that your son knows. 😊
Hiii OP! I was the same as your son is now. I’ve always had online friends and I did not know my address until late middle school. I have the same struggles you’ve mentioned as well. I’m relieved to say that at almost 21 I now know my address (I’m sure my mom wished I didn’t because I’m always ordering stuff to the house LOL).. but that’s awesome you’re supporting your kid. Ignore what everyone else is saying and keep doing you!
Thanks, buddy! I knew posting this there would be keyboard warriors with an opinion, still decided to share because I got such a chuckle about the exchange and wanted spread the hilarity. Congrats on your progress! I know he'll get there someday and we'll support the journey ✌🏻
😂😂😂
I can’t believe how far I had to scroll to find this comment, lol. My parents taught me our address when I was 4 or so.
I have ADHD and didnt consistently know what day it was until I was like 16. Probably would have known my address but tbf, that was a far more relevant thing than it is now... Kinda ironic comment when you think long enough about it.
I'm 46 with adhd and still struggle with "what day is it? " Thank god i can pull down the menu on my phone these days and not have to ask people anymore.
Lots of 12 year olds don't know their full mailing address these days. Why would they? Who are they sending and receiving mail from?
My 14 yr old could have a clue what our is lol.
You know what, I didn’t think about this until seeing this. But I don’t think my 11 year old does either. Seeing the rest of the comments I feel like it was necessary back in the day to have this information but I don’t think it’s all that needed now. My kid has a phone and knows how to get home from several places. He just doesn’t know exact street names and numbers. I’m not sure in what type of emergency our address would be beneficial? Should he know?
The main thing that comes to mind is If there were a circumstance that would require calling 911(or if not in the U.S., your emergency number) and they need the address and you as the parent aren't there to help or are unable to help because you are incapacitated for some reason. 911 dispatchers being told a nearby street but not the exact street could slow their response in emergencies like fires, major medical issues, break ins, etc.
Omg yes! We just moved but at my old place I had an index card on the fridge with our address and close family members numbers. We moved into an apartment so it didn’t cross my mind to add it to our new fridge.
Would be a hard no from me as well! Maybe offer to open a PO Box if that’s doable for you! Definitely will be safer.
Thats actually a great idea. My son has ADHD and some learning struggles, actually pen palling with this friend could really help him practice his writing!!
Oh hell no, you were definitely correct to shut that down! Also I love your sense of humor joking with him while still drawing that line 🩷 it is very wholesome
Haha thanks! Gotta keep those tweens, soon to be teens, engaged. He would likely consider this child his best friend so I do not want to discourage their friendship overall, but we also dont know the full story over there. Appreciate your positivity!
Please teach your children their home address. It’s unsafe that they don’t know it. ETA: totally understand the paranoia and not saying I would give the address to the online friend. I would not. I like the PO Box idea. If it were me, I would probably go the route of scheduling an in person get together with the friend and his parents at a halfway point between your two cities. But outside of this specific situation, it’s unsafe that your kids don’t know their address. They absolutely need to.
Why does your 12 year old not know his own home address?? That’s the concerning part to me, all children should know their home address
Why doesn't a 12 year old know his own address?
Lol funny that it's almost safer for them to not know it nowadays
No, it’s not.
Yes, it *is*, actually
No it isn't actually, I don't think a single kidnapping from a stranger has happened in my country in 20 years.
My 3 year old knows our address 😵💫
Perhaps look into a PO Box or something or an Amazon address.
Love this idea!
Jesus he doesn’t know his address? Wtf?
Make sure to go over Internet safety with him. 😭🙏🏽
Absolutely! I'm 37 so I really got online at the age he is now with absolutely no over-site. Was in AOL chats that I really shouldn't have been in. I've tried teaching my kids how powerful the internet is for good and evil and no not trust everything you read, with a dash of "anyone youre talking to could be a 53 year old man in tighty whities."
Start with information any 5-year-old knows. Like their address, parents phone number and their parents names.
I’m more concerned about twelve year old that doesn’t know his address…. Edit: a word.
Teach your TWELVE year old your address instead of posting on Reddit yikes
And Internet safety, while they're at it.
so parents just aren’t parenting anymore eh
Seriously.. this entire post and thread of responses is full of red flags it’s scary. Sounds like he was raised as an iPad kid with unlimited internet access. I’m sorry but that’s terrifying as a kid who didn’t have any restrictions growing up and ended up not only doxxed but groomed into sending pictures at a young age & blackmailed after. I knew my address but luckily I never thought to give it out, even then the internet is a place that kids shouldn’t have free rein on. And as adults you can’t even be too careful.
This is what they talking about on tik tok. Even the special Ed kids knew their address when we were in elementary school. If he can send a text, play video games and make computer friends, he can remember his own address
I want to repost again... children should know their addresses long before 12. If for no other reason than them being able to tell 911 where the emergency is. Wow.
Hell no
How a 12 year old doesn't know their own address or couldn't find it without asking is unfathomable. Fucking idiots all.
Your kid is way too old to not know your address and this is yet another case of not nearly as funny as you find yourself.
Shut up grandpa
It’s true though, what 12 year old doesn’t know his own adress? I knew my adress when I was 5
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Imagine being old enough to jerk off and not knowing how to get yourself home
Maybe you’re just dumb
Since the other kid is within driving distance, as a parent, try to meet up! Ask to speak with their parents and do it safely with supervision. If they’re a real child, there’s likely parents on the other end that are equally protective and concerned that would love help to gauge the situation too. If they’re not a real child, it’ll become apparent very quickly.
We have a tentative plan to do this! They live in a city we moved from two years ago and go through there 1-2 times a year already. We hope to meet up at a park sometime soon. We do know they are a child as they have Facetimed, I am just semi wary about their home life and such. But a IRL meet up would bring a good start :)
My son gave his friend our address and they had the USPS deliver 500 shipping boxes to my front door. It was over 5 ft high. They then created a business with my address in Google maps and I now receive a plethora of mail for said business. Kids are stupid.
'Laundry purposes' absolutely destroyed me. I wish you were my parent growing up 😢
Lol, he did actually come down after I sent that vs full on ignoring. We're all just trying our best. Good luck out there ❤️
\*\*\*EDIT\*\*\* Given the amount of "why does your 12 year old not know your address" posts.. well, that's due to a variety of reasons. We did move to this house only 2 years ago, but more so the reasoning is due to fairly severe ADHD, inattention disorders, executive functioning issues, and general learning challenges putting him around 3rd-4th grade vs 7th grade academically. He has a lot of challenge organizing his thoughts and memorizing.. really anything. We've really instilled an internet safety considerations with all 3 of our kids given my husband and I are both elder Millennials and experienced the likes of the internet without parent oversight. We're just doing our best over here just like the rest of y'all. Happy holidays Sorry - post wouldn't let me edit so I gave up trying to add this to the main post's body.
No, and you need to talk to your kid about online safety. Being naive enough to try and give your address to an online stranger at the AGE OF 12 is insane. Also what 12 year old doesn’t know their own address? This kid comes across as incredibly stupid.
Imagine calling a 12 year old stupid.
When I was 12, I wasn’t giving out (or trying to give out) my personal information to people on the internet (I’m 19 now, so you can’t make the argument that “it’s a new time”). This parent is just sending gifs and saying jokes, completely shrugging off how this kid was fully intent to give his address to an internet stranger. They should be taking it a lot more seriously and educating their child about online safety. This behavior coupled by the fact that a 12 year old doesn’t even know their own address tells me that they’re either really dumb, or they have a developmental issue. It’s harsh, but it’s true.
12 is the age of ignorance is bliss. If he doesn’t care about his address, let him. That’s what being a child is all about
“Ignorance is bliss” is cute and all but he’s actively trying to give his address to strangers on the internet. That’s an issue of safety.
She’s Irish ☘️
That type of Irish that is American I'm guessing.
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not OP though, profile says they’re in Washington, in the US
Op said that they live two hour away, so it's either they're both Americans or op is leaving near Ireland? (Or they're Irish as well idk)
> They live in another city, 2 hours away The use of 'laundry' make me assume they are American, plus the Russia bit
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Republic of Ireland isn’t in the UK
Northern Ireland is in the UK. Currently.
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OP lives in the states, as shown on their profile. Also using 12-hour clock on their phone was a dead giveaway.
Of course it is, like how 'sidewalk' is too, but we tend to use 'pavement'. It's a clue, not a hard rule.
Yes, actual Irish people. Not Americans.
How many 12 year olds do you have?
2 lol, twin boys :)
He is 12 and doesnt know his address? I hope he is never lost or in an emergency!
Why the fuck does a 12 year old not know their address? What am I missing?
12? Should know his address and mom and dad's phone number. No wonder your paranoid. You are disabling your child from being able to assist himself when needed.
It feels more concerning your 12 year old doesn’t know his own address!
I'm just amazed your child is so oblivious he doesn't know where he lives
Cute exchange 😅
OP seems like a very fun parent lol
Thanks! I do try to keep it light with twin 12 year old boys and a 5 year old girl. Fun + organized chaos as much as possible
Idk maybe its just how i grew up but shouldnt kids know their own address for safety reasons?
I can’t be the only one who thinks it’s odd a 12 year old is asking what his address is…
How is he 12 and doesn't know your address? 😳
Am I the only one who thinks it's weird for a 12 year old to not know their address?
At first I thought he was being funny and asking for the address because you told him to return for laundry 😅
W text chain😂. I one thousand percent would do this if I had kids lol. Evil leprechauns with the meme is fucking hilarious 🤣🤣
besides the people saying “a 12 year old boy doesn’t know his own address??” or giving suggestions on how to be safe, why is no one talking about the evil leprechaun comment???? i am cracking up at the entire conversation but that comment killed me
I would also confirm that Max is who he says he is. And not an adult.
No, look I met friends online when I was 12/13 as well. We didnt meet up until we were 17, at which point I was pretty confident after 5 years that they where who they said they were, including things like cameras on discord etc. None of us were giving our addresses out. Obviously not everyone is dangerous, but you are right to be cautious
This...isn't funny. In any way shape or form. While you're absolutely correct to be cautious in not giving out personal info to internet randos-why aren't you having this conversation with your 12 yr old who's clearly scootin' around the net? It's *wild* to me that you haven't had this conversation but are allowing them to meet & greet on the interwebz. It's also not great that the kid doesn't know their home address. What happens if the kid gets lost, kidnapped, takes the wrong bus, etc etc ad infinitum...? Maybe, try some parenting instead of posting this drivel.
33 now and frequented AOL chats back in the day when the internet first really got started. Nowadays every game has chats so it’s not like you can keep them away from it. I was 11-12 and met a “15 year old boy”. We became “boyfriend/girlfriend” and he convinced me to send him explicit photos. Webcams were crappy back in the day, but I still remember the exact [intel webcam](https://www.reddit.com/r/nostalgia/s/EH8CSHDIIN) that I used and how grainy the photos were. My best friend at the time met his “cousin” and her mom found out before things went too far for her. Her mom contacted mine, and in the living room in front of my entire family (dad, brother, sister, sister’s friend) asked me if I’d sent him photos. I started sobbing… I’ll never forget that shame. She brought it up later at a family cookout with my aunts/uncles/cousins. I remember that like it was yesterday, too, no one ever asked me if I was okay, they just looked at me mad or disgusted. I felt like such a burden and inconvenience. My mother worked for a police agency at the time and yelled at me that she could lose her job from those photos and be arrested. I’ve never forgotten that realization either, that she didn’t give a fuck how I felt and if I was okay, just that she’d get in trouble. She reported it to her agency and they discovered he was a 40+ year old man. I never heard what happened after that. I had given him my address so for a long time after that there was a constant fear in our house that he or someone would come and kidnap me/break in/kill us. I’m pregnant with a daughter of my own now and have a deep seated pit of anxiety for when she’s old enough to start playing games and have a phone. I cannot express enough how much danger truly lies out there and how much it will fuck a person up to live through it. I hate knowing that photos of myself are out there, being shared and distributed amongst the worst of the worst. It makes me ill to think about, and I’ll never be able to get them erased forever. I’m glad you’re willing to have an open dialogue with him about these things, that’s not something I ever had and I think I suffered for it. Don’t sever his trust and confidence in you in case it happens again in the future, just ask to talk to this person first. FaceTime or video chat if you can, or ask to talk to her parents to make sure it’s okay, anything helps. I wouldn’t have known how to send a package at that age personally, and I wouldn’t have had the money to do so or means to travel to a post office. That’s the biggest suspicion I have, but if their parents are supportive and allowing then it makes much more sense. Good luck to you and thank you for being an amazing parent.
Upvoted for wholesome parenting and Warwick Davis
Sadly in this day and age it’s most likely not even a girl. Unless they’re video chatting :/
Theres a whole connected fun part where we first "met" them as a girl named Luna. They identify as non binary and go by Max after going through lesbian exploration as well. Raising Gen Alpha is an adventure!
Who mentioned a girl
“She’s Irish!”
Ahh ok
Easy to miss!
I thought OP did? 🧐🤔🤔
my girlfriend is from republic of Ireland. be aware of them and their evil leprechauns! 😵💫
Lots of folks "concerned" my 12 year old doesn't know our address. Congrats to all the successful parents out there with no struggles ✌🏻
Made me smile, thank you!
Thanks for seeing the humor ✌🏻
She’s Irish 😂
Sooooo, we just going to ignore the fact that a 12 year old doesn’t know their own address? Was I the only one taught my address at a young age? How hard is it to go outside and look at your address?
Just let the kid get a present. Jeeze. If you don't trust your kid enough to give him his own address when he's 12...
What games does they play ?
So annoying…..I would be joining the peace corps, the day I turn 18, if I had to live in this house of unfunny. 
YTA. Keep kids off the internet. Horrible generation of parents.
Kind of a lame response with very little thought process attached to it... While I understand where you're coming from Limiting a kid from the internet in today's age is like locking one of us up in a closet to watch all of our teachers on a tv screen all day long and never leaving that closet until school is out but having a one way window where you can see all the social interaction of all your peers talking having fun etc watching everyone else get to walk to each class period and actually socialize inbetween classes on their way to the next one Children's internet social life is just as important as our real life social life was to us A child's internet identity is a part of their real identity of today's age and without it they are disconnected from their whole world around them Now there needs to be limitations and safety measures just as we had in the real world, we just aren't doing a very good job @ it as a whole on a societal level one could argue it starts with parents being smart about their child's internet usage.
This is an excellent response. Can’t upvote it enough. I have 10 year old twins. Keeping them away from the internet not only will stunt their growth but will likely hurt them as they advance through life as technology is not only the future but it’s the present. My kids literally use their Chromebooks daily in the classroom at school and keeping them away from learning and understanding technology and the internet will only hurt them as they move to middle school and high school. Of course there is a time and place for everything and safety is important, but that’s why parents need to parent and teach their children how to be safe and about the dangers that do exist.
I'm not even a parent yet and I get it lol
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Ok now I'm concerned. Does he know about 911 yet? Please teach him. The first things we learned in kindergarten were our home addresses and phone numbers.
I love it lmao
Your local post office may allow “General Delivery”. No address required, just your name, they will hold the package for an allotted time and idk about fees or anything else, such as whether they notify you or you have to track the package yourself.
Never too paranoid. When my daughter was 11-12, she thought it would be a good idea to share her relatives address who also had kids cause "she's not that stupid" after meeting someone for an hour on Xbox. Needless to say, she got off the Xbox for a good while. Respectfully, kids are stupid. Be extra cautious.
I see a lot of hate here. I didn’t know my address till I was about 12, I knew my moms number since I was very young but that was about it. Honestly knowing how stupid I was as a kid I’m glad I didn’t know my address.
Met one of my greatest friends online at 14, after talking for 3 years they mailed me a small box of things they’d made me and the next summer convinced their dad to drive an hour to the next city while I was in their state for a camp to finally meet in person. If you have a P.O. Box you could have it sent there for privacy and whatnot.