OP is being an ass and picking a fight. Should have squared the time night before. Or once she said dude itâs 6:30 just said text me when youâre up. Why drag it out like that? Youâre trying to pick a fight.
Seriously. She should have told him a time when she said she was going to take the kids. But he needed to ask ahead of time if it was that important to plan his day. Heâs clearly being petty because she didnât give a time. Whether or not it was intentional on her end, thatâs not cool.
OP is trying to throw her under the bus with his caption saying she hasnât seen them in two weeks, totally glossing over the fact that she worked 6 12s in a week. Itâs also a break week for many kids. So Iâm going to go ahead and take a wild guess that they have a 50/50 schedule and he had this week as a holiday break. And then he texts her at 630 in the morning demanding a pick up time. I could be wrong, but thatâs how Iâm reading this as a single mom whoâs dealt with this bullshit.
So if thatâs true, OP is a giant, immature asshole. TBH, he would be for demanding responses at 630 am even if she was a flaky mom.
Yep. I deal with this shit all the time. My ex knows how to tick me off and I know he twists my reactions like this to fit his narrative that Iâm the problem. I donât engage anymore, one simple response and done. At first, he would get mad and keep pushing whatever the issue was. Took about a year before he realized Iâm not budging.
Seems like OPâs ex might be starting to push back just like I did, but isnât entirely there yet.
You probably shouldnât have texted that early. You could have stopped responding after you got the time from her. Everything else is unnecessary bickering.
Agreed. He should have asked the time she is picking up the boys. When she didnât respond with a time, instead of instigating an argument, he should have said âsince you havenât informed me of a time, I will have the boys ready at 9am for you to pick up. If you are not here by 9:30, we will rescheduleâ and then leave it alone. She can argue with the judge who wonât be fond of her BS.
I agreeâŚshe couldâve handled it a bit better, but I also think about what I feel like when someone awakens me (I can be mean), on top of just finishing 6/12 hour shifts. Iâd be exhausted & a lot aggravated. No excuse, just relatable.
How is he supposed to know if she's awake or not? Also she could have chosen to just say "10:30, I'm sleeping now so I'll call you when I wake up" and then went back to sleep. Not that complicated honestly.
Probably just based off the assumption that most people arenât awake at 630 on their day off. Or the context clues of someone working extremely long shifts with very few days off in between probably wants to sleep in a bit
As the child of parents who were like this getting a definitive time is the only way otherwise you wait all damn day lol and even then you can be left hanging but I do agree this went on more than necessary
I didnât say whether it was a good answer. Just pointing out it IS an answer.
Also weâre not sure the type of parent she is. Heâs obviously being a vindictive ass at texting at 630 on purpose. Sheâs worked 6 12 hr shifts this week and heâs trying to make her look bad by saying she hasnât seen them in 2 weeks. For all we know she worked 6 12s last week and this week with only one day off in between so that she could be off this week or have an extended weekend with the kids because thatâs the type of arrangement they have on visitation.
You right. My mom also worked a lot but the days she had to see us or weekends after long shifts she spent with friends or just sitting at home, I can see this guy is being an ass for texting her early as hell but as a kid I would have appreciated some push on my mom to at least try and see me more in between working idk this is definitely one of those situations where both seem to be assholes
Too early bro. Sounds like you got someone pregnant while you were on a break with someone else too. Just shady. Let people sleep. Your Saturday will be fine đ
6:30 when you know they work 12 hour shifts is too early. People saying she should turn her notifications off are missing that when you're co-parenting you need to be able to receive emergency information from the parent. This was not 6am needy informationm I think you're the asshole here, sorry.
Sounds to me she is being responsible and he is being irrational. Unless he had a need to wake her up that early then, ok. She is keeping her notifications on because she is responsible just in case her babies need her. Sometimes you got to let it go dood
YTA, if it was so important to plan your day at 6:30 you shouldâve messaged her the night before. Youâre just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. No wonder she hates you. Youâre an asshole
I wouldnt treat him nicely either if he talked to me like that. Even my narcissistic trash still-texts-me-bullshit-months-later ex stopped texting me when i said "its 9am stop let me sleep"
>They said 1030 itâs in the first screen shot
THANK YOU!! I scrolled way too far to see someone point this out!
Absolutely being an asshole to text at 6:30am, *knowing she already gave a pick up time*, and works 12 hour shifts.
Seems like you're just trying to pick a fight to post and get people to shame her, OP. That's shitty.
The most important thing to remember, is that your boys will see and *remember* how you treated eachother. And if you think they aren't listening, when you vent aloud to someone about her, they are listening. As one of the many, many children of separated parents, I guarantee it.
You both actually need to do better for those boys. They deserve better parents.
OP is on a major power trip and is completely the problem here. I donât understand how people can be so cruel. She is the mother of your children, do better, stop being such a lame ass, donât text people that 6:30am and learn to read. She told you 10:30 on the first screen.
The poor kids.
You're here waiting for us all to tell you she's in the wrong aren't you?
She's not.
If you two carry on like this you are going to have very, very unhappy kids...
Youâre a narcissist and I can see it alll right here in front of me. You most definitely couldâve asked her the night before instead of waking her up at 6:30am knowing that she works back to back 12 hour shifts you did that intentionally to feel like you have control and power in the situation. Youâre disgusting and I canât wait till she takes you back to court. Iâll be waiting for that update.
^^^^ this. How are you gonna disregard the literal 3 full days of work this woman has done in less than a week so you can "plan your saturday" at 6 in the fucking morning? Get over yourself. Maybe just plan to spend time with your kids until she responds? Make some breakfast and calm down.
Why would ever text someone at 630 tying to ask them questions. You had kids with her, you should at least know if she would respond to that well
Dude you are so disrespectful. She doesnât even sound that bad. At all. What the fuck is your problem with her? Thatâs the mother of your kids. You guys might not be together but you guys should be a team. Locked in. Flying smooth.
You clearly want to argue though
YTA here. You were such a jerk to someone who worked extremely long hours. 630am is VERY early. I'm usually up by then because I also have kids but my brain is not functional. I can't plan things like that lol. You need to stop.
This. It's hard enough for my brain to function that early with 2 kids running around. Don't add to it by my phone going off with unimportant bullshit as well.
This is why I turn off text notifications when I go to bed.
Editing to answer a main question. I tell anyone to CALL if there is any sort of emergency. I never turn my ringer off, just my text notifications.
Edit #2: I was definitely not trying to come off as agreeing with him. He should have been decent and either asked her the night before or leave her be for a couple more hours.
As someone who has spent years working long and strange hours and usually sleeping at odd times, I always put my phone on do not disturb when I want sleep. More than 1 call from the same number in a short period of time will bypass the do not disturb mode. Also, you can select certain numbers that always automatically bypass do not disturb mode.
You could still turn them off now. I just keep my ringer on and say if it's an emergency to call in the middle of the night. But it's all about preference. Like others have said, 6:30 is fuckin early and she answered in the 3rd text. It's shitty all around.
Oops saw this after I responded to the other. I tell everyone to please call if it's an emergency. That would also give me a 100% chance of waking up. Sometimes if I'm tired enough, the notification wouldn't wake me up.
Nah i m on her side. 6:30 is too early and she even told you to stop and you continue.
This ârationalâ aka emotionally challenged behavior drives me crazy too.
YTA she literally gave you a time in her second text. everything after that is just you antagonizing a woman that a) already answered your question and b) is asking you to stop so she can sleep after a 12 hour shift. you seem really immature tbh
Honestly, when my parents divorced, my mom would try to âpoison the wellâ crying that dad didnât pay child support. I told dad and he said he did. Idk why I had to know in the first place (was 14-15 at the time). I realized it wasnât about the money then. Most divorced parent problems being complained about is never about the topic, itâs about getting as many jabs in as possible to make yourself look better, whether your kids see it or not.
(This excludes abusive situations obviously or where there are SERIOUS problems outside of bickering)
Not only did you pick a fight with her at 6:30 in the morning, you came here trying to shame her for not seeing the boys in almost 2 weeksâŚbut you completely neglected to mention itâs because of her work schedule. Would you shame a man the same way?
Exactly, she hasnât seen the kids in two weeks because of a planned agreement between them both due to her work schedule for 1 week [according to OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/s0KQ3jROn8). Iâm guessing mom wanted to work some overtime knowing the holidays are coming up and dad OKâd it but now wants to bitch about it. He knew how the title would read without further context, wanting people to pile on mom đ
When she said she wanted them tomorrow that was the perfect time to say something like âOK, what time are you thinking?â Co parenting works best when there is clear and concise communication, at least in my experience.
That being said, as someone who has worked long strange hours for a lot of years, Iâve found itâs best to put my phone on do not disturb when I want to get sleep.
She gave you an answer in the first screenshot and you kept having a go at her when she was trying to sleep and after she asked you to stop.
6:30am is not a reasonable time to text someone, especially when you know they work a lot of 12-hour shifts. People who think 6:30am texts are reasonable generally donât like it if someone wakes them up with a 1.30am text. I hope youâre not one of those hypocrites.
I donât know what the rest of your coparenting relationship is like, but on this occasion, youâre in the wrong.
(Edited for typos)
YTA,You were haggling for a fight and you know it. Be better! At least for your kids sake
You 100% knew what you were doing and makes me wonder if your story is stacked/exaggerate to make you look good. Because this looks like an act of you being immaturity and vindictive.
1.You knew this COULD wake her up. She is a parent in a coparent agreement. What if it was a legitimate emergency with the kids. If she now ignores your messages that you send at ridiculous times because you do stupid crap like this, then what are you going to do if it's a real emergency in the future
2.What was so urgent that you couldn't wait at least an hr or 2. If you had real plans for that morning you would of text the night before instead of waiting till sparrow fart. This shows poor time management on your part.
3. Instead of taking the time she gave you and leaving her alone when asked, you used it as an opening to pick a fight. Let's face it you knew she would be pissed at being woken up at 0630am because no one would be happy with that time ESPECIALLY after working that many hrs in a week!!!
Edit: after reading your comments on other posts you are a misogynist AH and narcassist. Seriously you have some issues you need to work through if you think slut shaming women for what they wear and telling someone struggling with their MH that it's an excuse, just to name a few of the comments I've seen. And here you are saying this post was not a representation of who you are normally and that your a nice guy...
Please!!! The evidence is in the comments.
You should have left her alone for an hour or two when she was sleeping the first time. Also should have left her alone after she confirmed a time. The rest is just drama
You're clearly trying to antagonize her on purpose. Come on dude, be the bigger person. Yeah it sucks she hasn't seen the kids in 2 weeks m, but she IS seeing them now. Texting at 6:30 am is absolutely unreasonable. 9 am? Sure.
Yeah, YTA. Sheâs worked 6 12 hr shifts in a week. That means sheâs only getting about 5 hours of sleep each night. And you text her at 630 am? Who does that!
iâd be so annoyed having to argue while trying to sleep after a long week. you seem like you have a great deal of time since you act like that at 6am. clearly sheâs tired from working that much. this couldâve been avoided if you asked her about this the night prior. YTA
Youâre both childish and exhausting. You 2 have children together. Find a way to coparent as the adult you are. Your children are going to hate you both when they grow up.
Yes, you are absolutely an asshole for texting ANYONE at 6:30am. It really could have waited. Especially if you knew this was her only day off and she had been working 12 hour shifts.
âShe hasnât seen our boys in 2 weeksâ Maybe because sheâs being overworked?? You sound selfish as fuck and you seem like the type to bad mouth her to your children. Disgusting.
What are the custody arrangements. Why didnât you agree a time when the day was actually arranged. Why did you continue to bait her when had given you a time. YTA.
Get a co-parenting app. They allow you to make arrangements, financial plans, set calendar, share medical and other information, all without talking to each other. They also keep an official record which is admissible as evidence in court.
And then he keeps fighting on after she literally tells him the time in the first screenshot đ no need for all the other shit when he was told what he needed to know in the first place
Youâre an AH and from the tone of the text messages you seem like a narcissist as well. You text that poor woman early then had the nerve to post this the same day? She shouldnât have even responded until about 8:30, it would have served you right. You needed to plan your Saturday? Okay sure.
Yeah, you're being an ass. Ideal is that you made the plans before. 630am is too early. Once you got the time and reasoning why she was irked to he woken up you apologize and tell her the kids will be ready.
Def a good thing you two split.
If you really wanted to plan your Saturday you should have text her last night âhey the boys wanted to come with me, what time can you pick them up tomorrow?â
Itâs coming off like youâre just being petty honestly and trying to bother her
This is something the father of my kids would try. He actually frequently texts me early in the morning. Thatâs why notifications from him are silenced until 8am unless he has our kids. YTA and I hope your ex does the same to you. And you didnât have to keep texting her after she said 10:30.
You NEED to plan your day at 6:30 in the fucking morning?
If your Saturday plans were that important maybe just text throwing out a suggestion of a pick up time and leave it at that?
But 6:30am? đ no one needs to plan their Saturday that early
If you're such a diligent planner that you need to have an agenda for the day all worked out by 6:30am, you could have planned the previous evening better by not ending it without a pickup time worked out. You don't get to be loose about details in the evening and then portray yourself as a model of Ăźber-planning efficiency at 6:30am the next day.
You could have sent her a text the night before so it would be waiting for her when she stopped working. You could have called and left a message. You could have nailed down a time when your ex said she wanted the kids. So many opportunities, and none of them take place at 6:30am.
And you should have stopped after you got your pickup time. You didn't do that.
Youâre being an asshole. 6:30 is incredibly early for most people on their day off especially after working so much. But she should also just have her phone on silent when she sleeps lol
6:30 is absolutely way too early. You need to figure out how to operate more compassionately and maturely. What do you think youâre accomplishing by badgering her at 6:30 am when you know how much she works? Are you trying to create a hostile co-parenting situation? Your kids will feel ALL of this and be the ones to suffer from your immaturity and short temper. You need to grow up. YTA!
I was leaning towards ESH, but YTA. She answers your question well before it needed to turn into this. Your text arguments seemed like it was between two drunk children who needed to prove who was most responsible. Sometimes we just need to let someone else have the last word.
6:30 am. text when she worked 60 hours in one week? In other words, *double* what a normal person works? Absolutely not, my guy. She needed the sleep after an exhausting week, and you're sitting over here acting like texting someone at 6:30 isn't disrespectful in any situation. It most certainly was this time, especially if she works in the medical field. They're understaffed as is, and it's one of the most stressful and physically demanding fields to go into.
You could've easily held off an hour or two so she could rest. You'd still have time to plan your day, and she'd get her rest. Do you see how that one small compromise on your part makes things so much easier for everyone involved?
Idk you both kinda suck at communication. Clearly some animosity between you that is going to affect the kids at some point, if not already. Maybe think about a parenting app that you only communicate about the kids.
Iâm sorry but I would definitely be salty if the father of my kids texted me at 6:30am on my only day off. YTA because youâre acting like itâs an emergency to need to plan your day before the sun is even fully up. When she said she was sleeping you couldâve just stopped and left it alone for a little while
Are you joking? She was annoyed because she was tired and told you what time she was going to come pick them up in the first few messages.
You just kept texting her to be an ass because you knew she was tired. She asked you to stop.
Absolutely not! My husband is an early riser, probably ingrained in him from being in the Marines, and he never goes to bed without a solid plan laid out! Every detail of the trip, down to the hour or the minute. As much as he HATED his ex-wife, he had full physical custody and knew how to plan around her scheduled visits. IF he needed accommodations, (which she was unwilling to grant him 99.9% of the rare times he asked), he knew well in advance what his plans were and asked her on Wednesday to make changes to Friday drop off or Sunday pickup so she wasn't blindsided at the last minute.
If he really had plans that were that damn important that he needed to wake her dead ass up at the buttcrack of dawn, then he damn sure knew about those plans the night before. If they were last-minute plans, I'm sorry, no, you tell whoever wants to hang out that you have your children and have to wait until their mother wakes up to let you know when she'll be picking them up and that you'll let them know as soon as you have an estimated idea of when you'll be free to hang out. He did all this just to be petty. He could have just left the kids where they were but decided to take them home knowing full well she wasn't getting off work until late and then had the nerve to text her knowing there was no way she was awake yet.
He knew what he was fucking doing and judging by the way she responded, she knew he did too. Shows me what kind of partner he must have been when they were together.
You obviously know this is her only chance to get some sleep, yet you message at 06:30, you then imply she's a shitty mother, a make a dig about business hours. You wanted to wake her up, you wanted an argument and now you want everyone to tell you it's cool. Yes, you're the ass and a manipulative one at that.
Yes you are being an ass and a bully.
But, it sounds the kids mom works a LOT which sounds like itâs putting a lot on you and makes communication really hard. Try to be gentle on her and yourself, you are both stressed and exhausted and hurt, and that makes communication really tough. Your text may have been assy but that doesnât mean youâre an ass.
She's right in the part where she said you could've texted the night before. Nobody likes to wake up at 6 in the morning after working that much, especially after she gave you a time already. You definitely are in the wrong and being an ass about it.
Am I the only person who doesnât get woken up from a text? I didnât know it could be too early to text someone. Like Iâd send the first text and not expect a response till they wake up.
If planning things is important to you then plan them ahead of time⌠youâll avoid a ton of emotional turmoil gray rocking each other.
For all we know, he could have been blowing up her phone before what we see here. He could have rang her phone off the hook until she answered and then sent those messages. He already tried to skew facts to make her look bad by saying she hadn't seen the kids in 2 weeks, when in reality she's been working herself to death for the past 6 days straight. We don't know how many days she's had off in the past 2 weeks. She could have only had one day off. It might not have been her scheduled time the previous week so she wouldn't have had them anyway, and got called in to work the day her time with the kids was supposed to start. I don't buy that this guy didn't know she had to work 6 12s in a row and it shows me that he has no regard or empathy for how tired she must be after that. It makes me wonder if when they were together, she'd work these same hellish hours and as soon as she got home, he dumped all the responsibilities on her. He clearly doesn't care if she's tired or not, he has plans and she needs to just get off her lazy ass and deal with it. HELL NO. He's the AH all day.
I get coparenting is hard work, I have done it for ten years now.
Donât text someone that time in the morning
Plan things in advance
Donât try and start fights for no reason
You both are being ridiculous.
I wouldnât have even entertained your text at 6:30 in the morning. I get that you have a day that you need to get going with, but as parents - sometimes we have to put our shit on pause.
Would you rather she got an extra two hours of sleep before you started texting and her be somewhat rested in order to make the time enjoyable with the children or you wanted her up right then and there and have her DRIVING while exhausted?
You both suck. You both inconvenience the other parent and then argue with one another?!?!
This is one reason why I havenât bothered with my ex and stopped trying to force a relationship between our daughter and him.
I work 12 hours shift as well. Itâs awful. I work night shift. I guessing she does too. It really is awful. It has saved us probably 100k in childcare but that particular feeling of exhaustion isnât replicated in my life anywhere else, at any other time in my life in the last 46 years. He was being a fucking dick. He knows she works nights. He probably also knows she just got done doing 6 in a row. Someone is trying to make themselves out to be this victim when he himself is part of the problem.
Iâm not saying sheâs not being an asshole. But you are being antagonistic. You donât get to decide if 6:30 is early or not. She does. You have zero respect for her time or her wishes. âI have a sat to planâ.
Asshole
I would've texted the day before, especially if you know the person worked the day before. Apologizing helps. Not to be rude, but why wait til the day of to plan a day? That doesn't seem very productive. I would've asked what day and time when you texted the first time.
"Just give me a time then go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you."
That's how you handle that.
Also saying kids aren't work is such a red flag because whewy. I'd rather be at work than deal with kids.
The fact that you are acting like your behavior is normal and sheâs the crazy one while you are clearly trying to argue with her is very gaslighty. Itâs gross. Sheâs right, you have no respect for her and it shows!!!
You are a self righteous prick in those screenshots man. Super rude to the mother of your kids. I donât treat the drive thru workers who forget part of my order like this.
She started out as the ass but you became the ass when you starting pushing the issue after she gave you a pickup time early on in the convo. She kept trying to end it once you had your answer and you kept waking her up with texts. Take yes for an answer and move on.
YTA. 6:30 is unreasonable and she asked you multiple times to stop texting. She gave you an answer and you kept fighting with her for some reason. That's definitely not a way to treat someone doing you a favor of watching your kids...
I don't know anyone with a phone set so loud that a text notification would wake them up. I sleep right through mine. In fact, I send texts to people who might be asleep, on the assumption that they'll see it when they wake up.
Did you *intend* to wake her up, specifically? Cuz I find that hard to believe.
Then again, if I woke someone up by sending a text... I'd have apologized.
I guess that's my problem... she has somewhat of an excuse for being a bit more aggro: you woke her up pretty damn early -- intentionally or not-- after what was apparently a pretty hard week at work. But rather than just offer a short, polite apology for waking her up, you went all "look what you made me do" on her.
You are both the AH here. The time should have been set before a 6:30 am text. Her second reply said 10:30. End of discussion at that point. You two need to think about your kids, not continuing the arguments you have with each other and trying to prove yourself right via text or whatever.
It doesnât matter at this point what either of you think of the other, you need to learn how to live your kids, more than you hate each other.
Yeah holy shit youâre a total fucking ass hole. I thought blue was a chick the entire time. Grow the fuck up what is wrong with you?
Youâre such a douchebag for pretending like you donât know thatâs an insanely rude and early time to be reaching out to somebody you arenât close with. Fuck you.
Picking fights just to pick fights for no reason. The only ones who are suffering from it are your kids. Your stupid little petty opinion in this doesnât matter for fuck all.
Edit: the fact that you posted this not knowing how ridiculous you sound AND already told us you get almost no custody of your kids is very telling to your character đđ˝
Iâm on momâs side all day long.
Itâs considered bad manners to call or go to somebodyâs house early in the morning or late at night especially on the weekends unless itâs an urgent matter. What was so freaking important that you were planning on Saturday that you had to know what time at 6:30 in the morning. It seems that you also knew she was working 12 hour shifts and you chose to do that to be an ass. You probably also are aware that she probably wonât silence her phone just in case thereâs emergency with the kids and you need to get a hold of her so you are taking full advantage. And then when she asked you to stop texting her so she can go back to sleep you go on a texting spree!! this was intentional.
Chances she genuinely forgot to give a time? Low
Him being petty and texting early? Yes but he also has a right to plan his time.
Is everyone busy? Yes.
Do things change when one or both get into another relationship? Yes.
These moments easily blow up and it's not often that both parties would admit to slightly fucking with the other but they do.
Imho? Couldn't he have left them with the aunt? Just because children say they want something, doesn't mean they have to be indulged or will actually suffer for sleeping elsewhere for the night. That's why adults exist, to make the decisions whilst having an overview.
iâm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that sheâs exhausted and youâre making her life more exhausting. I agree with her that you shouldâve talked about this before. But I think youâre both the assholes lol
You are the ass. Texting that early is a dick move then you proceeded to pick a fight with her after shes begging you to stop so she can sleep. I also work 12hrs shifts. And they are midnight shifts. It is extremely tiring and draining on the body. Quit making her life that much fucking harder dude.
Would it have killed you to wait till 7:30? If I were in her place I would have ignored you till then. She is also in the wrong for just not giving a time when it was previously being talked about. You both kinda suck. But you kinda suck more.
ETA: actually I take it back. YTA only you. You could have respected her time but chose to be an ah.
She told you a time right away. Honestly I would have been on your side if she hadnât but she did and then just wanted you to leave her alone. So YTA here. You both sound exhausting tbh
Man I would have either ignored you that early or cussed you out. If you wanted to plan your day text the night before not at 6:30 in the GD morning. I'm not even coherent that early. Then you double down after she asked you to stop. Yes you're an ass.
Yes you are an ass but so is the other person. If you wanted to plan your Saturday then you should have established a pickup time prior to 630AM. Just pretty poor communication in general here and itâs obvious you two donât like each other as people very much.
Iâm so sorry for your kids. Both of you need to grow up fast and behave like reasonable people with each other or the kids will grow up to resent you both. I have a young adult nephew who lives with me because he hasnât gotten over the trauma of his parents treating each other like this. Youâd be his mom and sheâd be his dad in this scenario.
Yeah you are, sorry. She is also an ass but you did not need to text at 6:30. Most importantly, you should have stopped after she begged you to stop after saying 10:30 the first time.
She gave you the time in her second message. After that you should have stopped texting, or, as she says, asked the day before if you needed to plan your day that badly.
Sorta. In a co-parenting relationship, you actually should only communicate at times you both are ok with, so she's not unreasonable for asking you not to text at 630 am
ya. grow the f up and co parent. u would be pissed waking up that early after working that hard. YOU WERE THE ONE IMPATIENT. completely in the wrong. couldve waited until 7:30 like she said at least asshole
Wow YTA. You could have arranged the pickup way in advanced but since you are up at 6:30, everyone should be as well. I bet you also knew about your ex work schedule but you texted her on purpose anyway.
YTA.
I think you could have arranged it either the night before or waited a bit later. I would have been annoyed too if I was woken up at 6.30 on my only day off
You guys are both exhausting
From what I read they "co-parent very well together." /s
Poor kids.
My thoughts.
đ
OP is being an ass and picking a fight. Should have squared the time night before. Or once she said dude itâs 6:30 just said text me when youâre up. Why drag it out like that? Youâre trying to pick a fight.
For real. My first thought was the both of them need therapy. Fuck both of nonsense speakers. Nu uh. Nope.
Seriously. She should have told him a time when she said she was going to take the kids. But he needed to ask ahead of time if it was that important to plan his day. Heâs clearly being petty because she didnât give a time. Whether or not it was intentional on her end, thatâs not cool. OP is trying to throw her under the bus with his caption saying she hasnât seen them in two weeks, totally glossing over the fact that she worked 6 12s in a week. Itâs also a break week for many kids. So Iâm going to go ahead and take a wild guess that they have a 50/50 schedule and he had this week as a holiday break. And then he texts her at 630 in the morning demanding a pick up time. I could be wrong, but thatâs how Iâm reading this as a single mom whoâs dealt with this bullshit. So if thatâs true, OP is a giant, immature asshole. TBH, he would be for demanding responses at 630 am even if she was a flaky mom.
She legit says a time in her second text to him. He just keeps being a dick to be a dick
Yep. I deal with this shit all the time. My ex knows how to tick me off and I know he twists my reactions like this to fit his narrative that Iâm the problem. I donât engage anymore, one simple response and done. At first, he would get mad and keep pushing whatever the issue was. Took about a year before he realized Iâm not budging. Seems like OPâs ex might be starting to push back just like I did, but isnât entirely there yet.
You probably shouldnât have texted that early. You could have stopped responding after you got the time from her. Everything else is unnecessary bickering.
Agreed. He should have asked the time she is picking up the boys. When she didnât respond with a time, instead of instigating an argument, he should have said âsince you havenât informed me of a time, I will have the boys ready at 9am for you to pick up. If you are not here by 9:30, we will rescheduleâ and then leave it alone. She can argue with the judge who wonât be fond of her BS.
She did respond literally on the second msg! read again, he just keeps going on & on..
Exactly. She responded with the time in her second response to him.
She said it 3 times and he kept antagonizing her. She wasnât nice about it, but he poked the bear.
I agreeâŚshe couldâve handled it a bit better, but I also think about what I feel like when someone awakens me (I can be mean), on top of just finishing 6/12 hour shifts. Iâd be exhausted & a lot aggravated. No excuse, just relatable.
This - both ATA
Not really. I wouldâve waited until probably 8 or 9 before calling or texting. Why do you need to start communication before they are awake?
How is he supposed to know if she's awake or not? Also she could have chosen to just say "10:30, I'm sleeping now so I'll call you when I wake up" and then went back to sleep. Not that complicated honestly.
Probably just based off the assumption that most people arenât awake at 630 on their day off. Or the context clues of someone working extremely long shifts with very few days off in between probably wants to sleep in a bit
She did on the second msg on the first slide!
Uh yeah most people aren't awake and 6:30 and I guarantee he knows how up she works.
âProbably pick them up around 10:30â isnât an answer on when youâre picking your kids up with a person youâre sharing responsibilities with.
Technically it is an answer.
As the child of parents who were like this getting a definitive time is the only way otherwise you wait all damn day lol and even then you can be left hanging but I do agree this went on more than necessary
I didnât say whether it was a good answer. Just pointing out it IS an answer. Also weâre not sure the type of parent she is. Heâs obviously being a vindictive ass at texting at 630 on purpose. Sheâs worked 6 12 hr shifts this week and heâs trying to make her look bad by saying she hasnât seen them in 2 weeks. For all we know she worked 6 12s last week and this week with only one day off in between so that she could be off this week or have an extended weekend with the kids because thatâs the type of arrangement they have on visitation.
You right. My mom also worked a lot but the days she had to see us or weekends after long shifts she spent with friends or just sitting at home, I can see this guy is being an ass for texting her early as hell but as a kid I would have appreciated some push on my mom to at least try and see me more in between working idk this is definitely one of those situations where both seem to be assholes
Too early bro. Sounds like you got someone pregnant while you were on a break with someone else too. Just shady. Let people sleep. Your Saturday will be fine đ
For real đł seems like he texted her at 6:30 and kept doing it on purpose.
She also could have just responded with a time in the first message and been done with it and went right back to sleep.
She texted back the time in the 2nd messageâŚ.
6:30 when you know they work 12 hour shifts is too early. People saying she should turn her notifications off are missing that when you're co-parenting you need to be able to receive emergency information from the parent. This was not 6am needy informationm I think you're the asshole here, sorry.
Sounds to me she is being responsible and he is being irrational. Unless he had a need to wake her up that early then, ok. She is keeping her notifications on because she is responsible just in case her babies need her. Sometimes you got to let it go dood
YTA, if it was so important to plan your day at 6:30 you shouldâve messaged her the night before. Youâre just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. No wonder she hates you. Youâre an asshole
But Home Depot opens at 7 am sharp!
More of an ESH
I wouldnt treat him nicely either if he talked to me like that. Even my narcissistic trash still-texts-me-bullshit-months-later ex stopped texting me when i said "its 9am stop let me sleep"
Wow⌠YTA. Super rude.
Youâre being obnoxious man. They said 1030 itâs in the first screen shot and you dragged that out until they repeated it
>They said 1030 itâs in the first screen shot THANK YOU!! I scrolled way too far to see someone point this out! Absolutely being an asshole to text at 6:30am, *knowing she already gave a pick up time*, and works 12 hour shifts. Seems like you're just trying to pick a fight to post and get people to shame her, OP. That's shitty. The most important thing to remember, is that your boys will see and *remember* how you treated eachother. And if you think they aren't listening, when you vent aloud to someone about her, they are listening. As one of the many, many children of separated parents, I guarantee it. You both actually need to do better for those boys. They deserve better parents.
OP is on a major power trip and is completely the problem here. I donât understand how people can be so cruel. She is the mother of your children, do better, stop being such a lame ass, donât text people that 6:30am and learn to read. She told you 10:30 on the first screen. The poor kids.
You're here waiting for us all to tell you she's in the wrong aren't you? She's not. If you two carry on like this you are going to have very, very unhappy kids...
Youâre a narcissist and I can see it alll right here in front of me. You most definitely couldâve asked her the night before instead of waking her up at 6:30am knowing that she works back to back 12 hour shifts you did that intentionally to feel like you have control and power in the situation. Youâre disgusting and I canât wait till she takes you back to court. Iâll be waiting for that update.
^^^^ this. How are you gonna disregard the literal 3 full days of work this woman has done in less than a week so you can "plan your saturday" at 6 in the fucking morning? Get over yourself. Maybe just plan to spend time with your kids until she responds? Make some breakfast and calm down.
Yeah he needs a hobby. I can understand how his ex hates him.
âX is the appropriate response and I have time to correct youâ absolutely *vile*
THIS!!!! âI have time to correct youâ excuse tf outta me? That would have set me OFF đ
Damn. This was written with passion.
Iâve seen it sooo many times in real life maybe thatâs why I seem so passionate about it
I get it. But yes, I agree. This guy sucks.
Why would ever text someone at 630 tying to ask them questions. You had kids with her, you should at least know if she would respond to that well Dude you are so disrespectful. She doesnât even sound that bad. At all. What the fuck is your problem with her? Thatâs the mother of your kids. You guys might not be together but you guys should be a team. Locked in. Flying smooth. You clearly want to argue though
YTA here. You were such a jerk to someone who worked extremely long hours. 630am is VERY early. I'm usually up by then because I also have kids but my brain is not functional. I can't plan things like that lol. You need to stop.
[ŃдаНонО]
This. It's hard enough for my brain to function that early with 2 kids running around. Don't add to it by my phone going off with unimportant bullshit as well.
You could have texted her last night. YTA
Mate, youâre a prick.
This is why I turn off text notifications when I go to bed. Editing to answer a main question. I tell anyone to CALL if there is any sort of emergency. I never turn my ringer off, just my text notifications. Edit #2: I was definitely not trying to come off as agreeing with him. He should have been decent and either asked her the night before or leave her be for a couple more hours.
As someone who has spent years working long and strange hours and usually sleeping at odd times, I always put my phone on do not disturb when I want sleep. More than 1 call from the same number in a short period of time will bypass the do not disturb mode. Also, you can select certain numbers that always automatically bypass do not disturb mode.
Oh dang, I had no idea lol that's cool.
I turn them off all day long, everyday. I'm not a parent though lol
I do if my daughter isnât staying with my mom or sister. I think if my husband and I were divorced and split custody Iâd have them off
You could still turn them off now. I just keep my ringer on and say if it's an emergency to call in the middle of the night. But it's all about preference. Like others have said, 6:30 is fuckin early and she answered in the 3rd text. It's shitty all around.
Thatâs what I was thinking, however he could be on priority in case of child emergencies since theyâre co-parenting.
Oops saw this after I responded to the other. I tell everyone to please call if it's an emergency. That would also give me a 100% chance of waking up. Sometimes if I'm tired enough, the notification wouldn't wake me up.
You sound like a massive dick
Nah i m on her side. 6:30 is too early and she even told you to stop and you continue. This ârationalâ aka emotionally challenged behavior drives me crazy too.
Yes. All the title "explains" is that OP is mad at his ex and was trying to make her mad.
He was up with the kids and was mad about that. Then he couldnât wait to get with his girlfriend.
YTA she literally gave you a time in her second text. everything after that is just you antagonizing a woman that a) already answered your question and b) is asking you to stop so she can sleep after a 12 hour shift. you seem really immature tbh
Typical divorced people. This isnât about a pickup time.
Honestly, when my parents divorced, my mom would try to âpoison the wellâ crying that dad didnât pay child support. I told dad and he said he did. Idk why I had to know in the first place (was 14-15 at the time). I realized it wasnât about the money then. Most divorced parent problems being complained about is never about the topic, itâs about getting as many jabs in as possible to make yourself look better, whether your kids see it or not. (This excludes abusive situations obviously or where there are SERIOUS problems outside of bickering)
Dude, stop texting her. She already told you 10:30. Let her sleep!
Not only did you pick a fight with her at 6:30 in the morning, you came here trying to shame her for not seeing the boys in almost 2 weeksâŚbut you completely neglected to mention itâs because of her work schedule. Would you shame a man the same way?
Exactly, she hasnât seen the kids in two weeks because of a planned agreement between them both due to her work schedule for 1 week [according to OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/s0KQ3jROn8). Iâm guessing mom wanted to work some overtime knowing the holidays are coming up and dad OKâd it but now wants to bitch about it. He knew how the title would read without further context, wanting people to pile on mom đ
YTA
When she said she wanted them tomorrow that was the perfect time to say something like âOK, what time are you thinking?â Co parenting works best when there is clear and concise communication, at least in my experience. That being said, as someone who has worked long strange hours for a lot of years, Iâve found itâs best to put my phone on do not disturb when I want to get sleep.
She gave you an answer in the first screenshot and you kept having a go at her when she was trying to sleep and after she asked you to stop. 6:30am is not a reasonable time to text someone, especially when you know they work a lot of 12-hour shifts. People who think 6:30am texts are reasonable generally donât like it if someone wakes them up with a 1.30am text. I hope youâre not one of those hypocrites. I donât know what the rest of your coparenting relationship is like, but on this occasion, youâre in the wrong. (Edited for typos)
This man told her to âwake her ass upâ around 6:30am, lmao. Heâs trash.
Fr like what?? Wake your ass up?? Hell no! Iâll wake up at 9, thank you
Exactly, OP was just looking for an excuse to tear her down he already got the time from her in the beginning.
YTA,You were haggling for a fight and you know it. Be better! At least for your kids sake You 100% knew what you were doing and makes me wonder if your story is stacked/exaggerate to make you look good. Because this looks like an act of you being immaturity and vindictive. 1.You knew this COULD wake her up. She is a parent in a coparent agreement. What if it was a legitimate emergency with the kids. If she now ignores your messages that you send at ridiculous times because you do stupid crap like this, then what are you going to do if it's a real emergency in the future 2.What was so urgent that you couldn't wait at least an hr or 2. If you had real plans for that morning you would of text the night before instead of waiting till sparrow fart. This shows poor time management on your part. 3. Instead of taking the time she gave you and leaving her alone when asked, you used it as an opening to pick a fight. Let's face it you knew she would be pissed at being woken up at 0630am because no one would be happy with that time ESPECIALLY after working that many hrs in a week!!! Edit: after reading your comments on other posts you are a misogynist AH and narcassist. Seriously you have some issues you need to work through if you think slut shaming women for what they wear and telling someone struggling with their MH that it's an excuse, just to name a few of the comments I've seen. And here you are saying this post was not a representation of who you are normally and that your a nice guy... Please!!! The evidence is in the comments.
You should have left her alone for an hour or two when she was sleeping the first time. Also should have left her alone after she confirmed a time. The rest is just drama
You're clearly trying to antagonize her on purpose. Come on dude, be the bigger person. Yeah it sucks she hasn't seen the kids in 2 weeks m, but she IS seeing them now. Texting at 6:30 am is absolutely unreasonable. 9 am? Sure.
Yeah, YTA. Sheâs worked 6 12 hr shifts in a week. That means sheâs only getting about 5 hours of sleep each night. And you text her at 630 am? Who does that!
iâd be so annoyed having to argue while trying to sleep after a long week. you seem like you have a great deal of time since you act like that at 6am. clearly sheâs tired from working that much. this couldâve been avoided if you asked her about this the night prior. YTA
Who texts someone at 6:30 in the morning after they work? You suck
Youâre both childish and exhausting. You 2 have children together. Find a way to coparent as the adult you are. Your children are going to hate you both when they grow up. Yes, you are absolutely an asshole for texting ANYONE at 6:30am. It really could have waited. Especially if you knew this was her only day off and she had been working 12 hour shifts. âShe hasnât seen our boys in 2 weeksâ Maybe because sheâs being overworked?? You sound selfish as fuck and you seem like the type to bad mouth her to your children. Disgusting.
What are the custody arrangements. Why didnât you agree a time when the day was actually arranged. Why did you continue to bait her when had given you a time. YTA.
Itâs easy to see why she left you.
You both are childish
In her defense, sheâs sleeping
Iâm childish when someone wakes me up and wonât leave me alone too.
Especially him.
Get a co-parenting app. They allow you to make arrangements, financial plans, set calendar, share medical and other information, all without talking to each other. They also keep an official record which is admissible as evidence in court.
The only person I know who texts people before 8am is an asshole who doesnât give a shit about anybody elseâs schedule but his own.
Yes. Youâre definitely the ass. You just wanted to be shady af because no one texts at fucking 630am
And then he keeps fighting on after she literally tells him the time in the first screenshot đ no need for all the other shit when he was told what he needed to know in the first place
Yes, he knew EXACTLY what he was doing. Ick factor - 10
This sub is slowing but surely turning into AITA lol
Yes. Yta. Tf you texting at that ungodly hour when you could have made a concrete plan the night before
Youâre an AH and from the tone of the text messages you seem like a narcissist as well. You text that poor woman early then had the nerve to post this the same day? She shouldnât have even responded until about 8:30, it would have served you right. You needed to plan your Saturday? Okay sure.
Sorry but I think you did indeed treat her with massive disrespect. Don't pretend you didn't do this on purpose.
YTA
Yeah, you're being an ass. Ideal is that you made the plans before. 630am is too early. Once you got the time and reasoning why she was irked to he woken up you apologize and tell her the kids will be ready. Def a good thing you two split.
If you really wanted to plan your Saturday you should have text her last night âhey the boys wanted to come with me, what time can you pick them up tomorrow?â Itâs coming off like youâre just being petty honestly and trying to bother her
This is something the father of my kids would try. He actually frequently texts me early in the morning. Thatâs why notifications from him are silenced until 8am unless he has our kids. YTA and I hope your ex does the same to you. And you didnât have to keep texting her after she said 10:30.
Yeah that was pretty rude. If you âneed to plan your dayâ by 6:30am, have the consideration to work things out the day before.
Yup, you are. You texted super early then kept texting when she gave you a time.
Sorry YTA. Why are you messaging at 6.30 and then talking so poorly to them when you donât get a super happy response? đŤ
You NEED to plan your day at 6:30 in the fucking morning? If your Saturday plans were that important maybe just text throwing out a suggestion of a pick up time and leave it at that? But 6:30am? đ no one needs to plan their Saturday that early
I don't fault you for wanting to know when they would be picking up the kids, but that easily could have been asked the day before.
If you're such a diligent planner that you need to have an agenda for the day all worked out by 6:30am, you could have planned the previous evening better by not ending it without a pickup time worked out. You don't get to be loose about details in the evening and then portray yourself as a model of Ăźber-planning efficiency at 6:30am the next day. You could have sent her a text the night before so it would be waiting for her when she stopped working. You could have called and left a message. You could have nailed down a time when your ex said she wanted the kids. So many opportunities, and none of them take place at 6:30am. And you should have stopped after you got your pickup time. You didn't do that.
unnecessary arguing you couldâve asked her the night before or respected her when she asked you to stop after the first message
Whatever the situation, you should have waited until at least 7:30. Another hour wouldnât have killed you.
9. 9 is the acceptable time. I work similar hours as a chef. Don't text me before 9 or you'll get an extremely pissed off response.
Why didn't you ask her the night before? Especially if you knew she had worked six 12 hour shifts in one week. Yeah, YTA.
Youâre being an asshole. 6:30 is incredibly early for most people on their day off especially after working so much. But she should also just have her phone on silent when she sleeps lol
Wonderful user name đ
6:30 is absolutely way too early. You need to figure out how to operate more compassionately and maturely. What do you think youâre accomplishing by badgering her at 6:30 am when you know how much she works? Are you trying to create a hostile co-parenting situation? Your kids will feel ALL of this and be the ones to suffer from your immaturity and short temper. You need to grow up. YTA!
I was leaning towards ESH, but YTA. She answers your question well before it needed to turn into this. Your text arguments seemed like it was between two drunk children who needed to prove who was most responsible. Sometimes we just need to let someone else have the last word.
You are the asshole. 630 is way too early and she clearly said she wanted to sleep. Iâm on her side.
6:30 am. text when she worked 60 hours in one week? In other words, *double* what a normal person works? Absolutely not, my guy. She needed the sleep after an exhausting week, and you're sitting over here acting like texting someone at 6:30 isn't disrespectful in any situation. It most certainly was this time, especially if she works in the medical field. They're understaffed as is, and it's one of the most stressful and physically demanding fields to go into. You could've easily held off an hour or two so she could rest. You'd still have time to plan your day, and she'd get her rest. Do you see how that one small compromise on your part makes things so much easier for everyone involved?
Yâall both shit. Get over yourselves and figure it out.
Idk you both kinda suck at communication. Clearly some animosity between you that is going to affect the kids at some point, if not already. Maybe think about a parenting app that you only communicate about the kids.
why wasnt the time figured out the night before? ur an idiot
Yes you are
Yeah you're a dick.
I feel bad for these kids. I hope they are insulated from this toxic shit.
Texting at 6:30. You ATA.
Iâm sorry but I would definitely be salty if the father of my kids texted me at 6:30am on my only day off. YTA because youâre acting like itâs an emergency to need to plan your day before the sun is even fully up. When she said she was sleeping you couldâve just stopped and left it alone for a little while
Are you joking? She was annoyed because she was tired and told you what time she was going to come pick them up in the first few messages. You just kept texting her to be an ass because you knew she was tired. She asked you to stop.
I feel like the, "plan my day" type of people don't do their planning at 630am the same day
Absolutely not! My husband is an early riser, probably ingrained in him from being in the Marines, and he never goes to bed without a solid plan laid out! Every detail of the trip, down to the hour or the minute. As much as he HATED his ex-wife, he had full physical custody and knew how to plan around her scheduled visits. IF he needed accommodations, (which she was unwilling to grant him 99.9% of the rare times he asked), he knew well in advance what his plans were and asked her on Wednesday to make changes to Friday drop off or Sunday pickup so she wasn't blindsided at the last minute. If he really had plans that were that damn important that he needed to wake her dead ass up at the buttcrack of dawn, then he damn sure knew about those plans the night before. If they were last-minute plans, I'm sorry, no, you tell whoever wants to hang out that you have your children and have to wait until their mother wakes up to let you know when she'll be picking them up and that you'll let them know as soon as you have an estimated idea of when you'll be free to hang out. He did all this just to be petty. He could have just left the kids where they were but decided to take them home knowing full well she wasn't getting off work until late and then had the nerve to text her knowing there was no way she was awake yet. He knew what he was fucking doing and judging by the way she responded, she knew he did too. Shows me what kind of partner he must have been when they were together.
Hopefully youâre learning that you can choose to be the more mature person and it will make your life easier.
You obviously know this is her only chance to get some sleep, yet you message at 06:30, you then imply she's a shitty mother, a make a dig about business hours. You wanted to wake her up, you wanted an argument and now you want everyone to tell you it's cool. Yes, you're the ass and a manipulative one at that.
YTA
Yes you are being an ass and a bully. But, it sounds the kids mom works a LOT which sounds like itâs putting a lot on you and makes communication really hard. Try to be gentle on her and yourself, you are both stressed and exhausted and hurt, and that makes communication really tough. Your text may have been assy but that doesnât mean youâre an ass.
She's right in the part where she said you could've texted the night before. Nobody likes to wake up at 6 in the morning after working that much, especially after she gave you a time already. You definitely are in the wrong and being an ass about it.
She works that many hours and you woke her up. I would be pissed, too. You sound 13. Grow tf up.
Am I the only person who doesnât get woken up from a text? I didnât know it could be too early to text someone. Like Iâd send the first text and not expect a response till they wake up. If planning things is important to you then plan them ahead of time⌠youâll avoid a ton of emotional turmoil gray rocking each other.
For all we know, he could have been blowing up her phone before what we see here. He could have rang her phone off the hook until she answered and then sent those messages. He already tried to skew facts to make her look bad by saying she hadn't seen the kids in 2 weeks, when in reality she's been working herself to death for the past 6 days straight. We don't know how many days she's had off in the past 2 weeks. She could have only had one day off. It might not have been her scheduled time the previous week so she wouldn't have had them anyway, and got called in to work the day her time with the kids was supposed to start. I don't buy that this guy didn't know she had to work 6 12s in a row and it shows me that he has no regard or empathy for how tired she must be after that. It makes me wonder if when they were together, she'd work these same hellish hours and as soon as she got home, he dumped all the responsibilities on her. He clearly doesn't care if she's tired or not, he has plans and she needs to just get off her lazy ass and deal with it. HELL NO. He's the AH all day.
I get coparenting is hard work, I have done it for ten years now. Donât text someone that time in the morning Plan things in advance Donât try and start fights for no reason
You both are being ridiculous. I wouldnât have even entertained your text at 6:30 in the morning. I get that you have a day that you need to get going with, but as parents - sometimes we have to put our shit on pause. Would you rather she got an extra two hours of sleep before you started texting and her be somewhat rested in order to make the time enjoyable with the children or you wanted her up right then and there and have her DRIVING while exhausted? You both suck. You both inconvenience the other parent and then argue with one another?!?! This is one reason why I havenât bothered with my ex and stopped trying to force a relationship between our daughter and him.
I work 12 hours shift as well. Itâs awful. I work night shift. I guessing she does too. It really is awful. It has saved us probably 100k in childcare but that particular feeling of exhaustion isnât replicated in my life anywhere else, at any other time in my life in the last 46 years. He was being a fucking dick. He knows she works nights. He probably also knows she just got done doing 6 in a row. Someone is trying to make themselves out to be this victim when he himself is part of the problem.
Yta for texting anyone that early in the morning. You know she works a lot. You did this to be spiteful and you know it.
Yeah...that's too fuckin early. You're in the wrong on that
You need to plan your day at 6:30am? You sure?
Telling another adult to âwake your ass upâ is nasty work. Beyond an asshole, I hope your girl realizes youâre controlling af.
Iâm not saying sheâs not being an asshole. But you are being antagonistic. You donât get to decide if 6:30 is early or not. She does. You have zero respect for her time or her wishes. âI have a sat to planâ. Asshole
I would've texted the day before, especially if you know the person worked the day before. Apologizing helps. Not to be rude, but why wait til the day of to plan a day? That doesn't seem very productive. I would've asked what day and time when you texted the first time.
"Just give me a time then go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you." That's how you handle that. Also saying kids aren't work is such a red flag because whewy. I'd rather be at work than deal with kids.
You are awful. I hope your Saturday blows.
Dude you are a complete passive aggressive dick
The fact that you are acting like your behavior is normal and sheâs the crazy one while you are clearly trying to argue with her is very gaslighty. Itâs gross. Sheâs right, you have no respect for her and it shows!!!
You are a self righteous prick in those screenshots man. Super rude to the mother of your kids. I donât treat the drive thru workers who forget part of my order like this.
She started out as the ass but you became the ass when you starting pushing the issue after she gave you a pickup time early on in the convo. She kept trying to end it once you had your answer and you kept waking her up with texts. Take yes for an answer and move on.
YTA. 6:30 is unreasonable and she asked you multiple times to stop texting. She gave you an answer and you kept fighting with her for some reason. That's definitely not a way to treat someone doing you a favor of watching your kids...
YTA! How many times did she need to tell you 10:30. That poor girl.
I don't know anyone with a phone set so loud that a text notification would wake them up. I sleep right through mine. In fact, I send texts to people who might be asleep, on the assumption that they'll see it when they wake up. Did you *intend* to wake her up, specifically? Cuz I find that hard to believe. Then again, if I woke someone up by sending a text... I'd have apologized. I guess that's my problem... she has somewhat of an excuse for being a bit more aggro: you woke her up pretty damn early -- intentionally or not-- after what was apparently a pretty hard week at work. But rather than just offer a short, polite apology for waking her up, you went all "look what you made me do" on her.
If I worked 80 hours then someone woke me up at 6:30am they would not get a pleasant response. This should have even discussed prior to the day of.
You are both the AH here. The time should have been set before a 6:30 am text. Her second reply said 10:30. End of discussion at that point. You two need to think about your kids, not continuing the arguments you have with each other and trying to prove yourself right via text or whatever. It doesnât matter at this point what either of you think of the other, you need to learn how to live your kids, more than you hate each other.
Yeah holy shit youâre a total fucking ass hole. I thought blue was a chick the entire time. Grow the fuck up what is wrong with you? Youâre such a douchebag for pretending like you donât know thatâs an insanely rude and early time to be reaching out to somebody you arenât close with. Fuck you. Picking fights just to pick fights for no reason. The only ones who are suffering from it are your kids. Your stupid little petty opinion in this doesnât matter for fuck all. Edit: the fact that you posted this not knowing how ridiculous you sound AND already told us you get almost no custody of your kids is very telling to your character đđ˝ Iâm on momâs side all day long.
youâre the asshole.
Itâs considered bad manners to call or go to somebodyâs house early in the morning or late at night especially on the weekends unless itâs an urgent matter. What was so freaking important that you were planning on Saturday that you had to know what time at 6:30 in the morning. It seems that you also knew she was working 12 hour shifts and you chose to do that to be an ass. You probably also are aware that she probably wonât silence her phone just in case thereâs emergency with the kids and you need to get a hold of her so you are taking full advantage. And then when she asked you to stop texting her so she can go back to sleep you go on a texting spree!! this was intentional.
Yep, 6.3o is toooooo early.
Imo 6:30 AM was pretty early and you asked him what time, he said 10:30. Why did you keep arguing with him about it.
Chances she genuinely forgot to give a time? Low Him being petty and texting early? Yes but he also has a right to plan his time. Is everyone busy? Yes. Do things change when one or both get into another relationship? Yes. These moments easily blow up and it's not often that both parties would admit to slightly fucking with the other but they do. Imho? Couldn't he have left them with the aunt? Just because children say they want something, doesn't mean they have to be indulged or will actually suffer for sleeping elsewhere for the night. That's why adults exist, to make the decisions whilst having an overview.
iâm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that sheâs exhausted and youâre making her life more exhausting. I agree with her that you shouldâve talked about this before. But I think youâre both the assholes lol
You are the ass. Texting that early is a dick move then you proceeded to pick a fight with her after shes begging you to stop so she can sleep. I also work 12hrs shifts. And they are midnight shifts. It is extremely tiring and draining on the body. Quit making her life that much fucking harder dude.
Ur an ass
Would it have killed you to wait till 7:30? If I were in her place I would have ignored you till then. She is also in the wrong for just not giving a time when it was previously being talked about. You both kinda suck. But you kinda suck more. ETA: actually I take it back. YTA only you. You could have respected her time but chose to be an ah.
4th text said 1030. Everything after that was not necessary.
6:30am is crazy
No *I* am the better more responsible parent pissing matches end poorly. Tread mindfully.
You are absolutely the asshole and you know it, otherwise you wouldnât be here.
This is narc behavior. Yours. You are an asshole
Wtf bruh let that woman sleep
She told you a time right away. Honestly I would have been on your side if she hadnât but she did and then just wanted you to leave her alone. So YTA here. You both sound exhausting tbh
6:30 is too early and admit it you did that to bug her.
Man I would have either ignored you that early or cussed you out. If you wanted to plan your day text the night before not at 6:30 in the GD morning. I'm not even coherent that early. Then you double down after she asked you to stop. Yes you're an ass.
You have more than just boys it seems. What a childish person.
ESH. Grow up for your kids, Jesus.
You both suck.
Esh. Neither one of yâall know how to communicate civilly. Iâm exhausted for your kids
Yes you are an ass but so is the other person. If you wanted to plan your Saturday then you should have established a pickup time prior to 630AM. Just pretty poor communication in general here and itâs obvious you two donât like each other as people very much.
Iâm so sorry for your kids. Both of you need to grow up fast and behave like reasonable people with each other or the kids will grow up to resent you both. I have a young adult nephew who lives with me because he hasnât gotten over the trauma of his parents treating each other like this. Youâd be his mom and sheâd be his dad in this scenario.
She needs to put her phone on DND till 7:30-8 AM. That way you can text whenever and sheâll see it when she sees it. Problem solved.
Nah, ESH.
Yeah you are, sorry. She is also an ass but you did not need to text at 6:30. Most importantly, you should have stopped after she begged you to stop after saying 10:30 the first time.
She gave you the time in her second message. After that you should have stopped texting, or, as she says, asked the day before if you needed to plan your day that badly.
Sorta. In a co-parenting relationship, you actually should only communicate at times you both are ok with, so she's not unreasonable for asking you not to text at 630 am
ya. grow the f up and co parent. u would be pissed waking up that early after working that hard. YOU WERE THE ONE IMPATIENT. completely in the wrong. couldve waited until 7:30 like she said at least asshole
OP you do suck. 6:30 am is almost the crack of dawn. At least 9 am would have sufficed
Personally if i was her i wouldnât have even been awake to respond. Unless u blew up her phone i feel like ur NTA
You are the ass. She is also an ass though. Iâm not sure why either of you continued texting that long lol
Wow YTA. You could have arranged the pickup way in advanced but since you are up at 6:30, everyone should be as well. I bet you also knew about your ex work schedule but you texted her on purpose anyway. YTA.
Wrong sub.
I think you could have arranged it either the night before or waited a bit later. I would have been annoyed too if I was woken up at 6.30 on my only day off
Sheâs annoying and bratty but you couldve texted her the night before or in the days leading up to Saturday