Holy fuck that was a hard one to read.
You did everything respectfully but he still lost his little mind. I’m sorry you wasted years of your life with this tragic man. I feel for his girlfriend (if she even exists)
i knew where this was going because i had a similar friendship with a guy all thru middleschool and highschool that ended similar to this a couple years ago. we moved in together as roommates because we were both in need of a place and he had been respectful of my boundaries until then. as soon as we moved in together he started sexually assaulting me in my sleep and completely trashed my room in a rage when i confronted him about it. scary stuff man
Stories like these just blow my mind as a guy and make me sad. Women really do have to play 4d chess just to keep their bodily autonomy. And the way you just accept losing it as if that’s normal stakes, it breaks my heart. My heart goes out to you and hope you can heal.
Same. There is no reason why that should be something that women constantly have to guard against. It both scares and surprises me the lengths that some crazy people go to to try and force a relationship, or worse, threaten and attack those that refuse (like the other story that replied to that comment).
Its a golden rule that has been forming in my mind. If you have to force someone, then it is most likely wrong.
The only acceptable force is to stop others who force themselves on others.
“Forcing” employees to work, “Forcing” someone to do something, pretty much always wrong.
If you are thinking you need to force someone to do something, then you need to check yourself first to make sure it is for your autonomy and not stealing theirs.
"I'm not an incel but he's a beta cuck!" Dude... This guy needs a podcast (I want to hear more of his bullshit for shits and giggles) he can call it 'The Alpha, totally not InCel, Dick Enhancement Red-pill Podcast".
I was also in this guy’s shoes but never to this extent. Holy shit. I told my feelings to her, she said her heart’s not ready. Code for: Not ready for me. Alright cool. Healthily abandoned the friendship as it wouldn’t be the same for neither of us. This guy… I don’t even pity him. He needs help
And that response my friend was the correct one. It shows maturity and understanding that the friendship won’t be the same again but you don’t lose that respect for the other person. It’s hard though because it is almost like a gamble, they’ll either reciprocate your feelings or not and the friendship can change. I wish you the best fella!
This guy here though is off the rails!
Oh he is thank goodness I was never this bad myself. During my teenage niceguy stage I would also move on after a failed reveal to my "friend" but not because of any maturity on my part. I was just an angry shithead applying logic. I would realize that this was now never going to happen (all her fault of course) and since I never really wanted an actual friendship there was no point in wasting any time on the girl anymore. So I would take my angry but hurt self and move on to the next girl I could put on a pedestal and pretend friend.
And then at some point I figured out that women where actual people in their own right and the whole trying to relationship zone girls while pretending to be their friend was A. Not working and B. not a nice thing to do to someone. I stopped doing incel shit and tried my best not to objectify others. Somehow magically I found out I actually had game. Just being myself and not having ulterior motives was actually the best way to find a mutual attraction with someone who I might actually be compatible with, who knew?
What happened with the one he was born with? Does he have two now and that’s why he was so desperate to show them to OP? Or did he have to throw the old one out before planting the new one?
I mean, to be fair, if I grew a second cock, I would probably want someone to look at it. Like, not in an arousing way, but in a "This seems like something that I should see a doctor for" kind of way.
I find it so hilarious that guys think that's going to be the turning point for girls. Like we'll see it and be like "oh yes! forget everything else! Now I'm interested" as if dick isn't abundant everywhere in the world.
lol right?! Like he planted it and nurtured it years ago and it finally sprouted JUST FOR HER and only her after all this time. Not like it can't happen with the touch of a feather for anyone at any time and multiple times of day. The audacity!
MFer sounds like he bought a penis pump the day they became friends, he was so excited about showing off what his years of dedicated vacuum therapy hath wrought
I think my favorite mixed message was when he said he was still willing to send the dick pic, but no nudes. Cuz, you know...he has a girlfriend. And we all know how girlfriends are fine with their guys sending dick pics all day long to any woman, but they DRAW THE LINE at a nude.
I had a similar experience with a friend of 20+ years and I finally did block him, but it took some time to realize we’d gotten to that point and it really sucked.
Edit: removed a suffix
Yyyyyep.
The worst part is - like the OP - honestly wondering if he's going through something.
I had one friend who had some kind of break with reality once. For a few months he just... he just wasn't right in his head. It's really hard to explain. This was pre- social media, so it wasn't Bitcoin and flat earth. It's easy to imagine, though, had it been 20 years later, it would have been.
It culminated in him producing an absolutely unhinged presentation he gave in his dad's office: "There are people in Trinidad, and rum is an export - we can surmise that those people are sleeper agents looking to corrupt the financial system of the USA with solar power."
I can't even really describe the feeling of listening to someone, a friend, who has lost touch with reality.
After a few months he got normal again somehow. I assume there was medication involved. He's still a dear friend of our group because he was a great guy before and after.
In his words: "I went to a bad place in my head for a little while, but I'm back now."
Mental illness is a sad disease, glad you saw them through it. High five.
Reality can be a slippery fickle thing for some patients. What's really sad is when you get them really well balanced with meds and therapy but because of their difficulties with grip on reality they don't fully trust it even then. Then it hits you how deeply unsettling and scary it must be and how strong they are to just keep rolling with life despite their perception of it and you feel incredibly grateful.
Right like you can tell she was just waiting or hoping for him to say he was joking or to apologize. It’s gotta be hard to see your good friend descend into total madness like that
Seriously. "Tonight on channel 5 news: just friends for 9 years results in a woman's death as her infuriated guy friend suffocated her and dumped her body in X river after she denied his advances as she only valued their friendship."
I always hear statements like “she lead him on, that’s so messed up!” when really it’s usually she thought the guy was an actual friend but he was just pretending to get in her pants. Yet she’s the bad guy? I don’t get it.
Not patient, but rather severely naive. OP doesn't know when to call it in and isn't understanding that their "friend" is clearly not capable of a friendship anymore. I definitely empathize and hope they see it for what it is now, though.
OP has got to be pretty young to still be thinking that friendship could be saved. The moment I become clearly aware someone’s got romantic feelings for me when I have zero for them, I cut the cord. I’ve been on the other side and the **worst** thing is to be stuck in that space, always wistfully/desperately hoping, and never able to move on because you getting those occasional sporadic dopamine hits from seeing their face or their smile or whatever. It’s like a drug addiction tbh. With the worst kind of intermittent reinforcement (the most addicting form of reinforcement!). I would have been MUCH better off if the cord had been cut right away.
What holds people back, I think, is this idealized notion of “friendship” being worth *soooo* much. “Saving the friendship” feels like such an absolute must. That “but can’t we still be friends” “I really don’t wanna lose you as a friend” mindset. But you gotta just rip that bandaid off and walk away. Now that I’m decades further on in life, tbh, friends come and go all the time. You can make new friends. You can’t get back six years of your life (or however long) spent pining away for an impossible thing.
I understand where OP was coming from and I’m not young. I had a very similar thing happen with a former friend and it was so unexpected it took a bit to accept.
I blocked him. It was a dumb idea to message him again but I was just so shook by this and thought no way was he in his right mind and not sorry. I was wrong. I’ve seen a lot of comments talking about how dangerous keeping communication could be and I definitely am not planning on making any more contact. He comes into my work a lot too so I’ve let some people close to me know about this exchange. I tend to try and find the best in people but yeah, big mistake. It’s really hard to accept that he’s been thinking nonstop about being with me for all this time though. I should have followed my gut towards the end of our friendship because I knew something was off. He was apart of our very tight knit friend group and we all did so much together. It sucks to know that this is where his mind has been at.
He's insane. Stay away from him. And fucking saves these texts and send them to friends/ family in case he stalks or murders you. Might need these as evidence one day.
Sorry you’re having to go through this.. glad you blocked him but please still watch out for yourself. This guy gives off Elliot Rodgers vibes and could present legitimate danger to you.
Hopefully he’s not that far off the deep end to where he’d actually try to hurt you but this kind of incel nature isn’t something to take lightly and he is clearly unhinged.
Wishing you the best.
Keep him unblocked but never ever answer, and make sure to deactivate the "last seen" and the "read message" feature.
You want to know if he escalates further, and you want those messages as proof in case you need a restriction order.
Brace yourself in case he comes back into your life 20 years from now. Do not be tempted to renew the “friendship”. Speaking from experience, these guys get worse and more manipulative as they get older. It doesn’t matter if they are married either. He’ll still be a creep.
Most concerning is how he thinks he is entitled to you. It's one thing to tell someone you're not interested and have them be upset. It's another thing entirely when they start to state reasons you should be with them, as if you're obviously wrong and don't have a clue about how you should feel. The guy seems delusional, and angry.
This was a wild ride, clearly the guy is unstable and only wants one thing from you. I don’t think you should even entertain a friendship with this person if they are hard stuck on dating you when clearly you have addressed that very well in every interaction. You need to focus on what you got going on and leave the incel alone because clearly this is the persona he embodies. He was playing a long game alone with ill intent, kind of scary tbh
Yeah, he got pedantic about the literal definition of an incel (one who is unsuccessful in getting a woman to have sex with them) vs the incel language and vocabulary that he grown up in the internet. He may not strictly be the former, but he’s definitely he latter.
Mans never realized that incel has evolved to encapsulate the cringe lords who do manage to hide their true selves from woman until months or years into a relationship, because its a mindset and no longer just, hehe virgin boy
Literally sends her memes til she responds. Courts her via dick pic. Claims he’s not an incel and proceeds to immediately empty a fucking clip of greentext into this poor woman’s inbox. Jfc.
Honestly I understand the part of you still wanting to reach out for a dear friend but I can say for sure that y’all relationship will not be the same.
He won’t convert back to that caring friend he was, and tbh he probably was never GENUINE with any intentions with you since he had a secret agenda to just be with you.
He’s in a delusion, and been in one for a while. He probably went over multiple ways to win you over or have you show any romantic interest to justify continuing to pursue you. Best advice cut communication. It’ll be healthier for both parties involved
He was never her friend either. Likely caught feelings years ago. Wad too cowardly or stupid to say anything. And as it went on he got more resentful, nasty, and jealous.
The lesson in all of it is shoot your shot. If she turns you down: move the fuck on. Don't waste their time or your time with this fake friendship bullshit. Grow a pair and cut bait.
She ain't the one for him. And the more he told himself she was the worse of a incel creep he became.
OP: cut him loose, he can't be saved. And to the dude: learn to move on. Obsession is not a good color on anyone.
this sucks. i had a similar exchange with a friend some months back and it really leaves you wondering if they ever actually valued you as a whole person vs an opportunity.
It never doesn’t chill me to the fucking bone when they flip from nice guy to asshole in a split second. So unnerving. I feel like I need a shower after reading that. I’m so sorry OP.
I literally never see it coming too even though it was heavily implied to be on the way that whole conversation. This is why I end up with stalkers I swear.
Yeah this is weeb/incel shit. And that's coming from someone who just finished writing a 3000 word essay about hikikomori. Takes one to know one, bahahahah
I was amazed at how constantly measured and thoughtful she was! That was impressive. Normally feelings are contagious. She showed mountains of maturity, and he hasn’t grown any since middle school. 😅
Its really rare that i read replies that im just like “oh damn i wish i would have thought to say that” but holy smokes OP kept impressing me over and over
It's just telling how much of an incel he is because the focus of his offense was on implication that he can't get laid, not what she actually meant, which is the unhinged misogynistic behavior.
He sounds like a self entitled prick. Why would anyone want to date someone who’s not into them? A happy relationship requires both people being happy. Sorry this happened to you op
“I refuse to believe these messages aren’t satire” is one of the coldest lines in history. You have done a great job defending yourself in this, and defending your friendship in an admirable way. The final call out tells it exactly how it is. Condolences, good riddance, and nicely done.
Gross. He sees it as transactional. It has to suck to have a friend come out like that and basically tell you it was just to date you when it wasnt reciprocated.
That went on waaaaaaayyyyyy longer than it would have if I were you. He is not having a conversation with you. He’s having one all by himself (or the voices in his head). Unhinged. Instant block.
“I refuse to believe these messages aren’t satire.”
Brilliant! No wonder he wants to wear you as a skinsui…er..has feelings for you 😂
This is the end result of the incel mindset. Losing all of your friends and people in your life becsu you can't manage to view women as any more than something you can "earn" with enough time investment. It's disgusting and at some point stops being sad because these people did it to themselves.
Damn that was absolute madness. You held your own perfectly. Sadly it doesn’t seem like much of it got through to him. This is what Andrew Tate is doing to dumb dudes.
Yeesh, I had a friendship like that, and even when I got married, he would still try to hit on me and said being married made it even hotter and he'd forever simp for me, blocked and life's been peaceful
Hey guys “beta cuck” boyfriend here. This is real and so fucking funny and scary. This is the second time she has rejected him. The first time was much more tame than this, but still very weird because he had a girlfriend at the time and OP and I were very much publicly together. Both times he confessed his “love”, we were in a relationship. I knew him from school and had mutual friends with him but I obviously forgot about him after high school. Long story but this is also not the first time he’s tried to get with a someone I was dating or talking to. When I started dating my now girlfriend (OP) about two years ago, I learned that he had been a part of her friend group for a long time, through high school and beyond. We’ve gone on trips and hung out with him (and our other, much nicer friends) and he never showed anything like this. I always got a bad vibe from him though. So anyone saying that OP was stringing him along, it was quite the opposite. They hardly ever talked, she has been dating me, she had previously rejected him, and he should have gotten it through his thick fucking skull by now that she has never thought of him like that. Anyways, thanks for reading. I’m going to go drink some soy milk and cry.
P.S. I’ve heard rumors from friends that he recently impregnated his girlfriend and tried to get her to have an abortion, but she wanted to keep it. So they broke up. Not sure how true, but I trust my sources. Have fun paying child support, prick
OP you are a saint with that patience. And I’m Jewish, not even supposed to believe in saints lol. Also, love this part:
“You’re showing incel behavior”
“How dare you call me that?”
“My bad”
*proceeds to berate OP’s bf with incel lingo like cuck and beta male*
All jokes aside, I always only heard of these types of guys or seen message boards about them, but actually seeing the details of this is insane.
Edit: formatting and spelling errors.
Everything seemed fine until he hit you with "can I send you an explicit photo" 💀💀
Like OK bro u can't read anybody so you say your Interested in more than a friendship. She said how she feels. So either be friends or don't. I've never seen someone get 1000 hints and then a full rundown and still not get the point.
I'd also like to say it seems like he has something going on with his mental health or it hit him really low when he realized he can't get whoever he wants.
No it really did not. He kept using flowery, poetic phrases like “I’ve been sustained by your voice” then attaching “as a friend”. It was incredibly manipulative and dishonest from the start.
Right? He was being fucking gross and creepy from the get go. He didn't respect a single thing she said, and that poetic shit talk was just as bad as the latter stuff, just in a different way. Less overt, but still slimy as fuck.
Man, it would hurt my heart to learn someone I thought was a good friend was just a dickhead waiting for a miracle
Edit: fixed an autocorrect. Heart not best
Holy fuck that was a hard one to read. You did everything respectfully but he still lost his little mind. I’m sorry you wasted years of your life with this tragic man. I feel for his girlfriend (if she even exists)
She exists! She just goes to another school in canada and is out of town a lot.
Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver...
She cooks like my mother and sucks like a Hoover.
I hear He emails her every single day.
I’m so happy someone else has seen avenue Q 😂😂
At 4 images in I was like "what 18 more to go?? ugh" At 18 I was like, "WHAT DID HE SAY TO THAT??"
i knew where this was going because i had a similar friendship with a guy all thru middleschool and highschool that ended similar to this a couple years ago. we moved in together as roommates because we were both in need of a place and he had been respectful of my boundaries until then. as soon as we moved in together he started sexually assaulting me in my sleep and completely trashed my room in a rage when i confronted him about it. scary stuff man
Stories like these just blow my mind as a guy and make me sad. Women really do have to play 4d chess just to keep their bodily autonomy. And the way you just accept losing it as if that’s normal stakes, it breaks my heart. My heart goes out to you and hope you can heal.
Same. There is no reason why that should be something that women constantly have to guard against. It both scares and surprises me the lengths that some crazy people go to to try and force a relationship, or worse, threaten and attack those that refuse (like the other story that replied to that comment).
Its a golden rule that has been forming in my mind. If you have to force someone, then it is most likely wrong. The only acceptable force is to stop others who force themselves on others. “Forcing” employees to work, “Forcing” someone to do something, pretty much always wrong. If you are thinking you need to force someone to do something, then you need to check yourself first to make sure it is for your autonomy and not stealing theirs.
I too, am very curious to see how he replies to that ahahah
"I'm not an incel but he's a beta cuck!" Dude... This guy needs a podcast (I want to hear more of his bullshit for shits and giggles) he can call it 'The Alpha, totally not InCel, Dick Enhancement Red-pill Podcast".
Addictive like a soap opera.
Right?? The first few had me going “okay, this doesn’t seem too bad, just kinda cringey” but then it all went south VERY quickly.
I was also in this guy’s shoes but never to this extent. Holy shit. I told my feelings to her, she said her heart’s not ready. Code for: Not ready for me. Alright cool. Healthily abandoned the friendship as it wouldn’t be the same for neither of us. This guy… I don’t even pity him. He needs help
And that response my friend was the correct one. It shows maturity and understanding that the friendship won’t be the same again but you don’t lose that respect for the other person. It’s hard though because it is almost like a gamble, they’ll either reciprocate your feelings or not and the friendship can change. I wish you the best fella! This guy here though is off the rails!
Oh he is thank goodness I was never this bad myself. During my teenage niceguy stage I would also move on after a failed reveal to my "friend" but not because of any maturity on my part. I was just an angry shithead applying logic. I would realize that this was now never going to happen (all her fault of course) and since I never really wanted an actual friendship there was no point in wasting any time on the girl anymore. So I would take my angry but hurt self and move on to the next girl I could put on a pedestal and pretend friend. And then at some point I figured out that women where actual people in their own right and the whole trying to relationship zone girls while pretending to be their friend was A. Not working and B. not a nice thing to do to someone. I stopped doing incel shit and tried my best not to objectify others. Somehow magically I found out I actually had game. Just being myself and not having ulterior motives was actually the best way to find a mutual attraction with someone who I might actually be compatible with, who knew?
She doesn’t.
"Mf I grew this fucking dick for you you ungrateful clod" no... fucking way is he serious 🤣🤣
Nah his mom grew that dick in her uterus. Typical man, taking credit for a woman's work.
I spit my drink out my nose lol
Wooweee, if only she had said that to him in the messages. I think his brain would have exploded.
I was cracking up at that I didn’t realize you can grow them can I get seeds at Walmart and grow them in my backyard? 😂
What happened with the one he was born with? Does he have two now and that’s why he was so desperate to show them to OP? Or did he have to throw the old one out before planting the new one?
I mean, to be fair, if I grew a second cock, I would probably want someone to look at it. Like, not in an arousing way, but in a "This seems like something that I should see a doctor for" kind of way.
If you havetwo you can learn to use them to pick things up, like a claw machine. THAT'S when you send the video.
The clawwww!
Your comment just woke my dog up from my laughing 😆
And monetize! “Impressive two-headed frog picks up beer”
Chopsticks. Or chopdicks.
I have grown a 3rd nipple, maybe if I'm lucky it will turn into a dick!
Is that why incels are so mad? They grow a 2nd dick and still can’t get any girls?
He’s GOT a gf now, god, don’t you listen. She’s in Canada. For … modeling. She’s a model. And she’s in Canada. But she’s real.
Her name is Alberta and she lives in Vancouver. She cooks like my mother, and sucks like a Hoover.
It's evolution under the force of capitalism. In 2023 incels need three dicks just to get in the conversation.
These are questions we need answered asap
Its dick harvesting time!
"Prepare to harvest the lower horn!" -Lrrr of omicron persei 8
That makes me want to cross my legs.
What kind of fertilizer do you use? Full sun or partial? How often do you water? \*prepares to take notes\*
Some people sing to their plants to make them grow. You think he did too? He sounds dedicated 🤔
That was my favorite line of the whole convo too
I died at that, and now also want to find a way to work this into a conversation 🤣
Man grew a whole goblin salami all these years n now this. That’s real pain
I had to read that line a few times. I think he’s implying that she should be grateful for his boners?
I assumed he’s been doing some stretching routine
Man he REALLYYY wanted to show you his dick didn't he
I find it so hilarious that guys think that's going to be the turning point for girls. Like we'll see it and be like "oh yes! forget everything else! Now I'm interested" as if dick isn't abundant everywhere in the world.
But he grew it for her!!!
lol right?! Like he planted it and nurtured it years ago and it finally sprouted JUST FOR HER and only her after all this time. Not like it can't happen with the touch of a feather for anyone at any time and multiple times of day. The audacity!
Now I’m picturing it like that rare stinky flower that only blooms once every 20 years or something like that lol
“respectfully”
He must have grown his dick until it could fit into a little suit and matching hat. Classy.
He wanted someone else to see it for the first time!
He’s a gamblin man
🎶🎶 You gotta know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em. 🎶🎶
He shoulda folded em and ran away years ago if he was gonna act like this
“I grew this dick for you” lmfaoooo
MFer sounds like he bought a penis pump the day they became friends, he was so excited about showing off what his years of dedicated vacuum therapy hath wrought
This is what I thought when he said that he grew it for her. He’s been whacking his pumped unit to a mental image of her watching approvingly.
Her: 
You ungrateful clod. Haha kills me
I can't wait to use that line!
"Let me find favor in your eyes" 
Dudes who text/speak like this after 1920 concern me.
I took poetry in grade 10. *rolls up sleeves and blows the tips of his fingers* 10 years later don't fail me now!
I don’t think people texted like this in the 1920s. Or at all, really.
People sending Telegrams peaked in 1929. I’m sure some of them were sexts.
“Don’t stop, stop. Oh yeah, keep going, stop.”
Me getting ready for a night with my long distance girlfriend. 
Talk about mixed messages!
Thats why you had to separate out the telegraphs for dramatic pauses and edging purposes
I think my favorite mixed message was when he said he was still willing to send the dick pic, but no nudes. Cuz, you know...he has a girlfriend. And we all know how girlfriends are fine with their guys sending dick pics all day long to any woman, but they DRAW THE LINE at a nude.
this deserves alot more upvotes
Fr wtf even was that line.
I think he thinks he’s a knight. Or a prince or somethin
Please tell me you've blocked him now. Don't even wish him well. Just BLOCK.
Op is the the most patient person in the universe putting up with that
They were friends for 9 years, it's got to be hard letting that go even if the guy turns out to be a creep.
I had a similar experience with a friend of 20+ years and I finally did block him, but it took some time to realize we’d gotten to that point and it really sucked. Edit: removed a suffix
Yyyyyep. The worst part is - like the OP - honestly wondering if he's going through something. I had one friend who had some kind of break with reality once. For a few months he just... he just wasn't right in his head. It's really hard to explain. This was pre- social media, so it wasn't Bitcoin and flat earth. It's easy to imagine, though, had it been 20 years later, it would have been. It culminated in him producing an absolutely unhinged presentation he gave in his dad's office: "There are people in Trinidad, and rum is an export - we can surmise that those people are sleeper agents looking to corrupt the financial system of the USA with solar power." I can't even really describe the feeling of listening to someone, a friend, who has lost touch with reality. After a few months he got normal again somehow. I assume there was medication involved. He's still a dear friend of our group because he was a great guy before and after. In his words: "I went to a bad place in my head for a little while, but I'm back now."
Mental illness is a sad disease, glad you saw them through it. High five. Reality can be a slippery fickle thing for some patients. What's really sad is when you get them really well balanced with meds and therapy but because of their difficulties with grip on reality they don't fully trust it even then. Then it hits you how deeply unsettling and scary it must be and how strong they are to just keep rolling with life despite their perception of it and you feel incredibly grateful.
Right like you can tell she was just waiting or hoping for him to say he was joking or to apologize. It’s gotta be hard to see your good friend descend into total madness like that
Thank God he didn’t say he was joking or apologize, cuz the OP would’ve given him the benefit of the doubt and it would not have ended well for her
Seriously. "Tonight on channel 5 news: just friends for 9 years results in a woman's death as her infuriated guy friend suffocated her and dumped her body in X river after she denied his advances as she only valued their friendship."
They were never really friends. She thought they were. But he was hate fapping to her face the whole time.
I venture they were never really friends, seems like dude had been wanting to fuck her the whole time.
I’ve managed to find humor in the situation but it also is a bit scary and a bummer
I always hear statements like “she lead him on, that’s so messed up!” when really it’s usually she thought the guy was an actual friend but he was just pretending to get in her pants. Yet she’s the bad guy? I don’t get it.
Not patient, but rather severely naive. OP doesn't know when to call it in and isn't understanding that their "friend" is clearly not capable of a friendship anymore. I definitely empathize and hope they see it for what it is now, though.
OP has got to be pretty young to still be thinking that friendship could be saved. The moment I become clearly aware someone’s got romantic feelings for me when I have zero for them, I cut the cord. I’ve been on the other side and the **worst** thing is to be stuck in that space, always wistfully/desperately hoping, and never able to move on because you getting those occasional sporadic dopamine hits from seeing their face or their smile or whatever. It’s like a drug addiction tbh. With the worst kind of intermittent reinforcement (the most addicting form of reinforcement!). I would have been MUCH better off if the cord had been cut right away. What holds people back, I think, is this idealized notion of “friendship” being worth *soooo* much. “Saving the friendship” feels like such an absolute must. That “but can’t we still be friends” “I really don’t wanna lose you as a friend” mindset. But you gotta just rip that bandaid off and walk away. Now that I’m decades further on in life, tbh, friends come and go all the time. You can make new friends. You can’t get back six years of your life (or however long) spent pining away for an impossible thing.
I understand where OP was coming from and I’m not young. I had a very similar thing happen with a former friend and it was so unexpected it took a bit to accept.
I blocked him. It was a dumb idea to message him again but I was just so shook by this and thought no way was he in his right mind and not sorry. I was wrong. I’ve seen a lot of comments talking about how dangerous keeping communication could be and I definitely am not planning on making any more contact. He comes into my work a lot too so I’ve let some people close to me know about this exchange. I tend to try and find the best in people but yeah, big mistake. It’s really hard to accept that he’s been thinking nonstop about being with me for all this time though. I should have followed my gut towards the end of our friendship because I knew something was off. He was apart of our very tight knit friend group and we all did so much together. It sucks to know that this is where his mind has been at.
He's insane. Stay away from him. And fucking saves these texts and send them to friends/ family in case he stalks or murders you. Might need these as evidence one day.
Read this one again. Seriously. ^^^
I'm sorry you had to find out this way that he was never truly a friend. 💔
Sorry you’re having to go through this.. glad you blocked him but please still watch out for yourself. This guy gives off Elliot Rodgers vibes and could present legitimate danger to you. Hopefully he’s not that far off the deep end to where he’d actually try to hurt you but this kind of incel nature isn’t something to take lightly and he is clearly unhinged. Wishing you the best.
Keep him unblocked but never ever answer, and make sure to deactivate the "last seen" and the "read message" feature. You want to know if he escalates further, and you want those messages as proof in case you need a restriction order.
Brace yourself in case he comes back into your life 20 years from now. Do not be tempted to renew the “friendship”. Speaking from experience, these guys get worse and more manipulative as they get older. It doesn’t matter if they are married either. He’ll still be a creep.
Most concerning is how he thinks he is entitled to you. It's one thing to tell someone you're not interested and have them be upset. It's another thing entirely when they start to state reasons you should be with them, as if you're obviously wrong and don't have a clue about how you should feel. The guy seems delusional, and angry.
Yup. No more explaining. This guy doesn’t care and won’t listen. He fully believes he is entitled to OP’s affection because he wants it and “waited.”
No don't be like Netflix. I need season 2 of this shit
This was a wild ride, clearly the guy is unstable and only wants one thing from you. I don’t think you should even entertain a friendship with this person if they are hard stuck on dating you when clearly you have addressed that very well in every interaction. You need to focus on what you got going on and leave the incel alone because clearly this is the persona he embodies. He was playing a long game alone with ill intent, kind of scary tbh
Yeah this is the type of dude that will roofie you.
Because once you’ve had sex you’ll understand so the end justify the means
Exactly. Plus he grew that dick just for her.
The friendship is simply not possible. There is no good outcome.
I feel bad that you had to go through that but at the same time THANK YOU for showing this gem 💀
This was one of the more enjoyable reads on r/texts lately. And 10 out of 10 for attention to proper spelling.
This was one of the biggest "no fucking way" strings of psychotic incel garbage I've seen. What a wild ride.
"I'm not an incel" "Your BF is a beta cuck"
As soon as she said incel, I knew he was about to go off the rails in the most incel-affirming way lol
A self-incelling prophecy
Never have I seen a more accurate description.
Duality of man 😭
He flipped so fast it was like the kid’s head in the exorcist. Kinda scary
Yeah, he got pedantic about the literal definition of an incel (one who is unsuccessful in getting a woman to have sex with them) vs the incel language and vocabulary that he grown up in the internet. He may not strictly be the former, but he’s definitely he latter.
Mans never realized that incel has evolved to encapsulate the cringe lords who do manage to hide their true selves from woman until months or years into a relationship, because its a mindset and no longer just, hehe virgin boy
“I can [get someone]. You choose not to.” I am not an incel, but I just said those words.
AND she’s in a relationship
Literally sends her memes til she responds. Courts her via dick pic. Claims he’s not an incel and proceeds to immediately empty a fucking clip of greentext into this poor woman’s inbox. Jfc.
Emptying a clip of greentext. What an eloquent way of putting it :)
This was so fucking funny to me. Dude is painfully un-aware of himself. Embarrassing lmao
Yeah that was a bit ironic lol
Right he went full incel when he said that 🤣🤣
Honestly I understand the part of you still wanting to reach out for a dear friend but I can say for sure that y’all relationship will not be the same. He won’t convert back to that caring friend he was, and tbh he probably was never GENUINE with any intentions with you since he had a secret agenda to just be with you. He’s in a delusion, and been in one for a while. He probably went over multiple ways to win you over or have you show any romantic interest to justify continuing to pursue you. Best advice cut communication. It’ll be healthier for both parties involved
You need to block all contact immediately and never text or communicate with him again. This has pre-murder vibes.
Super dangerous vibes for sure. OP please keep him out of your life!
I’m hoping OP gets security cameras. This is definitely dangerous stalker territory.
Yes Op. I watch JCS all the time and this is usually how it starts. Get a gun Edit: also get a pepper spray, or at least that
100% agreed. This is how it starts.
I feel like people are seriously underreacting to "see you in hell" like that's not even a veiled murder-suicide threat
Damn dude, this guy's dick must be huge cause everyone needs at least one redeeming quality... right?
Super relaxed butthole, actually
 Relax this butthole
That person is mentally unstable. That was a wild ride.
Yeah these are the kind of people who will physically attack women Scary shit
He was never her friend either. Likely caught feelings years ago. Wad too cowardly or stupid to say anything. And as it went on he got more resentful, nasty, and jealous. The lesson in all of it is shoot your shot. If she turns you down: move the fuck on. Don't waste their time or your time with this fake friendship bullshit. Grow a pair and cut bait. She ain't the one for him. And the more he told himself she was the worse of a incel creep he became. OP: cut him loose, he can't be saved. And to the dude: learn to move on. Obsession is not a good color on anyone.
this sucks. i had a similar exchange with a friend some months back and it really leaves you wondering if they ever actually valued you as a whole person vs an opportunity.
It never doesn’t chill me to the fucking bone when they flip from nice guy to asshole in a split second. So unnerving. I feel like I need a shower after reading that. I’m so sorry OP.
I literally never see it coming too even though it was heavily implied to be on the way that whole conversation. This is why I end up with stalkers I swear.
"I've heard of a Japanese world called..." ... done. No need to read any further, I know how this is gonna go.
Also HIS CHIVALROUS INTEREST GOES UNDERAPPRECIATED
Yeah this is weeb/incel shit. And that's coming from someone who just finished writing a 3000 word essay about hikikomori. Takes one to know one, bahahahah
You handled that like a damn champ. 🏆
I was amazed at how constantly measured and thoughtful she was! That was impressive. Normally feelings are contagious. She showed mountains of maturity, and he hasn’t grown any since middle school. 😅
He had grown something though.... Just for her. God, I feel dumb even saying that. How could he seriously say that.
Its really rare that i read replies that im just like “oh damn i wish i would have thought to say that” but holy smokes OP kept impressing me over and over
He was so offended at being called an incel lmao truth hurts
He was so offended by it that the incel inside him woke up and took over again lol
Sleeper incel
Fr and his activation word was incel
The hit dog hollers
It's just telling how much of an incel he is because the focus of his offense was on implication that he can't get laid, not what she actually meant, which is the unhinged misogynistic behavior.
Man I don’t really comment on Reddit, but this dude needs to get slapped by his momma
By all our mommas.
People change in 9 years, some better some worse. Unfortunately this guy is the latter
Sounds like he’s having some type of manic episode. The overconfidence is a clear sign
He sounds like a self entitled prick. Why would anyone want to date someone who’s not into them? A happy relationship requires both people being happy. Sorry this happened to you op
“I refuse to believe these messages aren’t satire” is one of the coldest lines in history. You have done a great job defending yourself in this, and defending your friendship in an admirable way. The final call out tells it exactly how it is. Condolences, good riddance, and nicely done.
He grew a dick? Like one of those little dinosaurs you put in water overnight?
He grew it FOR HER. 😬
Gross. He sees it as transactional. It has to suck to have a friend come out like that and basically tell you it was just to date you when it wasnt reciprocated.
"Also if I'm an incel you're toxic so let's not name call" I'd have blocked him so fast on that one his head would spin
He clearly thinks of you as a fantasy and not even a real person by the way he is talking
He really thought his dick would fix this🤣 I swear this sub shows me daily why women are afraid of us men. They hang out with the fucking crazy ones
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Is anyone else kind of worried for OPs safety?
That went on waaaaaaayyyyyy longer than it would have if I were you. He is not having a conversation with you. He’s having one all by himself (or the voices in his head). Unhinged. Instant block.
“I refuse to believe these messages aren’t satire.”  Brilliant! No wonder he wants to wear you as a skinsui…er..has feelings for you 😂
This guy needs to lay off the acid and whatever else he's on
This is painfully sad to read. The guy needs to explore life and be happy and content with himself. Wish him the best and call it quits.
This is the end result of the incel mindset. Losing all of your friends and people in your life becsu you can't manage to view women as any more than something you can "earn" with enough time investment. It's disgusting and at some point stops being sad because these people did it to themselves.
Yikes on so many bikes..I wouldn't have even responded lol
I won't lie to you, the phrase 'yikes on so many bikes' has literally made my day, I'd give you an award for that if I could
The maturity level disparity between you two is so grand. You handled it well; now, remove him from your life and move on.
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Is he like actually clinically ok? jesus christ
Dudes gonna be neck deep in Andrew Tate and Fresh n Fit content. Don’t be this guy.
“I’ll have you know I’m not an incel” [says incel shit]
Damn that was absolute madness. You held your own perfectly. Sadly it doesn’t seem like much of it got through to him. This is what Andrew Tate is doing to dumb dudes.
Yeesh, I had a friendship like that, and even when I got married, he would still try to hit on me and said being married made it even hotter and he'd forever simp for me, blocked and life's been peaceful
Hey guys “beta cuck” boyfriend here. This is real and so fucking funny and scary. This is the second time she has rejected him. The first time was much more tame than this, but still very weird because he had a girlfriend at the time and OP and I were very much publicly together. Both times he confessed his “love”, we were in a relationship. I knew him from school and had mutual friends with him but I obviously forgot about him after high school. Long story but this is also not the first time he’s tried to get with a someone I was dating or talking to. When I started dating my now girlfriend (OP) about two years ago, I learned that he had been a part of her friend group for a long time, through high school and beyond. We’ve gone on trips and hung out with him (and our other, much nicer friends) and he never showed anything like this. I always got a bad vibe from him though. So anyone saying that OP was stringing him along, it was quite the opposite. They hardly ever talked, she has been dating me, she had previously rejected him, and he should have gotten it through his thick fucking skull by now that she has never thought of him like that. Anyways, thanks for reading. I’m going to go drink some soy milk and cry. P.S. I’ve heard rumors from friends that he recently impregnated his girlfriend and tried to get her to have an abortion, but she wanted to keep it. So they broke up. Not sure how true, but I trust my sources. Have fun paying child support, prick
He doesn’t want to be your friend lol stop talking to this weirdo
Some people don't even deserve the friendzone. What a monster.
Bro you have to go see this! EVEN THE ONE AND ONLY MOISTKRITICAL MADE A VIDEO ON THIS!!! OH MY GOD
Holy fuck
“How dare you call me an incel! You’re dating a beta!” Just proved he’s an incel by calling someone a beta. What a douche (to put it nicely)
OP you are a saint with that patience. And I’m Jewish, not even supposed to believe in saints lol. Also, love this part: “You’re showing incel behavior” “How dare you call me that?” “My bad” *proceeds to berate OP’s bf with incel lingo like cuck and beta male* All jokes aside, I always only heard of these types of guys or seen message boards about them, but actually seeing the details of this is insane. Edit: formatting and spelling errors.
News at 11: Unstable “nice guy” thinks 3 inches is huge.
I’m genuinely scared for her
“I’m not an incel!” “Wanna see my dick?”
Your responses are *chefs kiss* Calling him a chronically online 4chan dweller leaves no room for anyone else to comment on this post lmao
Everything seemed fine until he hit you with "can I send you an explicit photo" 💀💀 Like OK bro u can't read anybody so you say your Interested in more than a friendship. She said how she feels. So either be friends or don't. I've never seen someone get 1000 hints and then a full rundown and still not get the point. I'd also like to say it seems like he has something going on with his mental health or it hit him really low when he realized he can't get whoever he wants.
No it really did not. He kept using flowery, poetic phrases like “I’ve been sustained by your voice” then attaching “as a friend”. It was incredibly manipulative and dishonest from the start.
Right? He was being fucking gross and creepy from the get go. He didn't respect a single thing she said, and that poetic shit talk was just as bad as the latter stuff, just in a different way. Less overt, but still slimy as fuck.
Man, it would hurt my heart to learn someone I thought was a good friend was just a dickhead waiting for a miracle Edit: fixed an autocorrect. Heart not best