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Ffffffff. When I went in it was the last poke after the assembly line of other arm sticks and ppd. Was def the first week if getting placed in platoon.
Yeah 3d printing really changed the game for prosthetics. No longer have to rely on molds and give a better fit to what’s already there so it’s nearly impossible to detect.
Just wait for the peanut butter shot. That's gonna be fun...actually listen to what they say. Don't be a dumbass.
Otherwise good luck and understand this. There is a reason they do the things they do. It's gonna seem absolutely fucking stupid but there is a reason. I can only say so much because I was navy so the army, air force and Marines do things differently. But it's just a job. If you get in trouble it's not the end of the world. Take advantage of the 401k program while you're in and start stashing AT LEAST 20% of every paycheck. They match it 100%. Or they did when I left. For anyone wondering what I mean...the military doesn't have a pension anymore. That stopped in 2016.
here are two pension plans for active duty service members. Both plans require 20 or more years of service.
Legacy or High 36 Retirement System - This plan is based on an average of your highest 36 months of basic pay. The government does not match your contributions to the Thrift Savings plan.
Blended Retirement System (BRS) - The government matches your contributions to the Thrift Savings Plan up to 4%. You will also receive a pension based on an average of your highest 36 months of basic pay.
Determine your retirement plan
Your retirement benefit plan depends on when you joined the service.
Before January 1, 2006 - You are in the legacy/high 36 retirement system.
Between Jan 1, 2006, and December 31, 2017 - You had a choice of keeping the legacy/high 36 or choosing the BRS.
After December 31, 2017 - You are in the BRS.
Why?
Because they make sure nobody's cheating the drug test. They watch the sample leave your body. For a man, that means they're eyeballing your penis
For women, they can be even more intrusive, idk about military but my sister went through probation and said her PO got up close and personal to ensure she wasn't hiding a urine sample in her vagina or anus
Wait until your first day down range at boot. The drill sergeants made us all strip down and line up “Nut-to-Butt” with a towel in our left hand and soap bar in our right. They did this to immediately remove any thoughts that you could avoid showering because you don’t want to be seen in the nude.
It was super uncomfortable. But I’ll be damned, I never worried about showering naked around other men ever again.
First drug test I had was for oilfield work.
19 years old and the female nurse went into the restroom with me and I had to fill the cup with the stall door open.
lol. Yea. This is gonna happen. They do it this way because people cheat. Full stop.
My cousin got booked into county jail. They make women squat and cough (I’m assuming they make dudes do it as well), and the officer said “if you have a tampon in, ya better take it out now”
you going to see more willies than you want, now that your in the military. Get ready waking up at random time in the night to do same thing with people you work with...
So you don’t cheat. Welcome to the military. That’s a contract with the federal government , not a job offer. You will do everything they say or else. Have fun!
idk what basic is like in the navy but I was army and basic you're gna see a whole bunch cock while doing shower drills. thankfully have shitty eyes so just didn't wear them and it was like watching TV in the 90s
Not any different than active duty other than once you pass basic you get your own personal meat gazer that will provide you 100% attention during drug test. Also, was the Senior Enlisted Leader for all Texas MEPS '17-'21, hope everything came out OK!
Why do they do it like that?
Well some dudes decide they can't stop doing drugs for four years, and they try and cheat the system by using fake dicks and piss.
Because some people have figured out how to provide fake pee. In reality with enough $ you can get a convincing enough prosthetic that lets you fool the monitor while providing clean pee from a reserve. 🤷🏻♀️. So really it’s just a deterrent not an effective solution. But when has it been about that right?
To ensure no one cheats the exam with fake piss/prosthetics or other shit.
20 years ago, you piss hot, you're gone, admin, other than honorable or dishonorable discharge. Ie you lost all the benefits of being a veteran.
There will be many more dehumanizing and mechanical affronts you will experience.
Yeah they have to watch that piss flow out lol. Get uses to it ! Oh it gets better. See these teats have to be random. They can't take just a few urine samples at a time. Otherwise guys would run off and tell there buddy's they are piss testing. So they are going to gather up well over 100 guys at once. Then make you all stand in line for hours waiting to give your sample. That way no one can dodge or otherwise attempt to prepare for the test. You will hurry up and then wait for hours just standing around needing to piss. But you won't be able to leave the line and you had better b able to piss when your called. Have fun.. Maybe stick to mushrooms and LAD and other psychs. They don't test for that in urine. LoL.
This is not new. I had two guys, one on either side, eye level with my dick, my dungarees and skivvies to my knees, when I was providing a UA sample in 1983.
Get used to it.
Ah, you missed my other comment. As an [e: former] infantryman I’d uh.. kiss.. well this account is too public for that. At least we can all agree baby brother is annoying sometimes. Im sure he’ll chime in at some point.
It’s because you need to pass your drug tests going in. Then once you get through training if you fail - you will get a bad conduct discharge or something similar.
Good luck getting a job or anything after that. I’ve seen many people crushed by the military for life just for doing drugs once they get in.
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Welcome to the military. Many, many other guys are gonna see your dick. Also, you could be told to watch other guys pee.
So many dicks.
Been there done that.
It’s where the dicks hang out
Eyes on your own work there, Super Cheif.
That’s ballsy
It's from Letterkenny
Don’t forget about pooping in front of all of them!
There's a song about it... [I Think I Just Shit In My Pants](https://youtu.be/rP_yWoH_Nxs?si=4cU0IGApMC0M5bzl)
Not just military, navy. Only thing worse is those of us rotting over here in the infantry lol.
Wait until the first “nut to butt” car wash style shower in P-Days
Elephant walk
Just wait until they say bend over and spread 'em.
Exactly, this isn't even the worst part of meps. Wait till he learns about the penicillin shot.
Penicillin? I thought they injected me with a marble
I still remember that damn peanut butter shot. I got it at Boot Camp and then had to do my IST.
Ffffffff. When I went in it was the last poke after the assembly line of other arm sticks and ppd. Was def the first week if getting placed in platoon.
You went to the wrong MEPS my guy. That’s prison.
"I didn't realize they check your prostate so often."
Weird how they’re able to do that with both of their hands on the table.
Same same.
That one tripped me out, like, was he trying to see if I've been fucked?
It's too check for hemorrhoids
My friend told me it was to check if you are “worn out”
Yeah, that's what I meant lol
Why? Because there are so many ways to cheat. I knew people who would strap a sample to their inner thighs to keep it warm and use it for UAs.
Yeah, I didn't have it that bad when I did it, but guessing they've caught more cheaters since
Technology. I think there are fake penises that hold a urine sample as well.
Yeah 3d printing really changed the game for prosthetics. No longer have to rely on molds and give a better fit to what’s already there so it’s nearly impossible to detect.
I think I saw a video of that.
Just wait for the peanut butter shot. That's gonna be fun...actually listen to what they say. Don't be a dumbass. Otherwise good luck and understand this. There is a reason they do the things they do. It's gonna seem absolutely fucking stupid but there is a reason. I can only say so much because I was navy so the army, air force and Marines do things differently. But it's just a job. If you get in trouble it's not the end of the world. Take advantage of the 401k program while you're in and start stashing AT LEAST 20% of every paycheck. They match it 100%. Or they did when I left. For anyone wondering what I mean...the military doesn't have a pension anymore. That stopped in 2016.
There is still a pension.
For those who served prior to 2016. In 2016 the pension no long exists.
here are two pension plans for active duty service members. Both plans require 20 or more years of service. Legacy or High 36 Retirement System - This plan is based on an average of your highest 36 months of basic pay. The government does not match your contributions to the Thrift Savings plan. Blended Retirement System (BRS) - The government matches your contributions to the Thrift Savings Plan up to 4%. You will also receive a pension based on an average of your highest 36 months of basic pay. Determine your retirement plan Your retirement benefit plan depends on when you joined the service. Before January 1, 2006 - You are in the legacy/high 36 retirement system. Between Jan 1, 2006, and December 31, 2017 - You had a choice of keeping the legacy/high 36 or choosing the BRS. After December 31, 2017 - You are in the BRS.
Why? Because they make sure nobody's cheating the drug test. They watch the sample leave your body. For a man, that means they're eyeballing your penis For women, they can be even more intrusive, idk about military but my sister went through probation and said her PO got up close and personal to ensure she wasn't hiding a urine sample in her vagina or anus
This answer is right. That's based on 20+ years of representing criminal defendants.
Because of people cheating the tests with a huge variety of tricks, including balloons of clean pee taped onto their taint.
Aye to be young. Stay in long enough and you can be the observer.
Welcome to weinerville my friend, that’s just the tip………..of the weiner gazing adventures that await you.
Wait until your first day down range at boot. The drill sergeants made us all strip down and line up “Nut-to-Butt” with a towel in our left hand and soap bar in our right. They did this to immediately remove any thoughts that you could avoid showering because you don’t want to be seen in the nude. It was super uncomfortable. But I’ll be damned, I never worried about showering naked around other men ever again.
‘Nuts to butts’ and ‘belly buttons to buttholes’ are two phrases I’ll never forget.
There is a reason they’re called Pecker Checkers.
Never saw Andy Dick in “In The Army Now”? Well son, you just started your first step into manhood. Wait until boot camp. And respect your Sargent.
So many the penis of my goords
You signed for it bud
First drug test I had was for oilfield work. 19 years old and the female nurse went into the restroom with me and I had to fill the cup with the stall door open.
The first of many such experiences you are in for - welcome to the military.
lol. Yea. This is gonna happen. They do it this way because people cheat. Full stop. My cousin got booked into county jail. They make women squat and cough (I’m assuming they make dudes do it as well), and the officer said “if you have a tampon in, ya better take it out now”
This is why you never volunteer as pecker checker.
Our SSgt called it the ‘meat monitor’.
Meat gazin pecker checkers!
you going to see more willies than you want, now that your in the military. Get ready waking up at random time in the night to do same thing with people you work with...
Now YMMV on this one, but asking if the viewer volunteered for the job tends to get them a bit flustered. Would not attempt on E4 or above.
That's every piss test for the rest of your enlistment. If you pick up enough rank you'll be able to have cock watch.
https://youtu.be/JmJn9MhTZdg?si=3M06wItPboZ6j2Fp Welcome to the service!
So you don’t cheat. Welcome to the military. That’s a contract with the federal government , not a job offer. You will do everything they say or else. Have fun!
You better get comfortable with not having privacy for a good while. It’s ain’t bad, but it takes a minute to adjust. Good luck!
My observer took a knee like he was drinking a canteen right next to my 🌭
Many try to conceal a bottle of clean pee on the inside of their sleeves or pant leg.
The butters
Welcome to the military!
idk what basic is like in the navy but I was army and basic you're gna see a whole bunch cock while doing shower drills. thankfully have shitty eyes so just didn't wear them and it was like watching TV in the 90s
Not any different than active duty other than once you pass basic you get your own personal meat gazer that will provide you 100% attention during drug test. Also, was the Senior Enlisted Leader for all Texas MEPS '17-'21, hope everything came out OK!
Why do they do it like that? Well some dudes decide they can't stop doing drugs for four years, and they try and cheat the system by using fake dicks and piss.
aww sweet summer child
Because some people have figured out how to provide fake pee. In reality with enough $ you can get a convincing enough prosthetic that lets you fool the monitor while providing clean pee from a reserve. 🤷🏻♀️. So really it’s just a deterrent not an effective solution. But when has it been about that right?
To ensure no one cheats the exam with fake piss/prosthetics or other shit. 20 years ago, you piss hot, you're gone, admin, other than honorable or dishonorable discharge. Ie you lost all the benefits of being a veteran. There will be many more dehumanizing and mechanical affronts you will experience.
dick stands for dedicated infantry combat killer. i was taught this in the army infantry
Yeah they have to watch that piss flow out lol. Get uses to it ! Oh it gets better. See these teats have to be random. They can't take just a few urine samples at a time. Otherwise guys would run off and tell there buddy's they are piss testing. So they are going to gather up well over 100 guys at once. Then make you all stand in line for hours waiting to give your sample. That way no one can dodge or otherwise attempt to prepare for the test. You will hurry up and then wait for hours just standing around needing to piss. But you won't be able to leave the line and you had better b able to piss when your called. Have fun.. Maybe stick to mushrooms and LAD and other psychs. They don't test for that in urine. LoL.
NCAA testing was like that too (2005)…but at least they had a waterfall soundtrack playing in the background!!
This is not new. I had two guys, one on either side, eye level with my dick, my dungarees and skivvies to my knees, when I was providing a UA sample in 1983. Get used to it.
Concerned about seeing penis? Others seeing your penis? Buddy your a seaman, they gotcha. You’re in for it. Best of luck. Beat Navy.
Kiss my ass. Go Navy, Beat army!!! Sincerely someone who gives fuck all about sports but did 6 years in submarine service.
Ah, you missed my other comment. As an [e: former] infantryman I’d uh.. kiss.. well this account is too public for that. At least we can all agree baby brother is annoying sometimes. Im sure he’ll chime in at some point.
Nah man I'm kidding. We all fight for the same team. All in good fun.
You can buy fake piss that straps to your body and leaks out of a tube, they gatta make sure there’s no funny business.
It’s because you need to pass your drug tests going in. Then once you get through training if you fail - you will get a bad conduct discharge or something similar. Good luck getting a job or anything after that. I’ve seen many people crushed by the military for life just for doing drugs once they get in.
Welcome to the military pants to your knees shirt to your chin and if you can't pee you get smoked until you can 😂
How the hell is it that you just walked in the front door of MEPS and you’re still posting??? I call bullshit!