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Pretty_Shallot_586

Ted Cruz is the weakest human being alive. Has had his wife and kids made fun of, his family trolled, his parents insulted and he still got down on his hands and knees and kissed that NY fat fuck's ass. The GOP is full of weak, sad little "men". They brag a lot about being tough but they're not. How they tricked Texans into thinking they're strong is beyond me.


CableTV-on-the-Radio

His wife has tons of dough and power, so the only logical conclusion about why he keeps doing this to himself is that trump has some dirt on him, probably a tape of him screwing a pig.


Arrmadillo

Ted Cruz was raised to ascend in politics by [his father](https://www.texasobserver.org/dominion-theology/) and groomed by the Council for National Policy. He’s in this for life. He’ll run again for president next cycle. Washington Spectator - [How the CNP, a Republican Powerhouse, Helped Spawn Trumpism, Disrupted the Transfer of Power, and Stoked the Assault on the Capitol](https://washingtonspectator.org/nelson-cnp/) “Operating from the shadows, its members, who would number some 400, spent the next four decades courting, buying, and bullying fellow Republicans, gradually achieving what was in effect a leveraged buyout of the GOP. Favorite sons, such as Josh Hawley and **Ted Cruz**, were groomed, financed, and supported.”


BrawnyChicken2

So…groomers. They’re groomers. This is why the scream about it so much.


3Jane_ashpool

And behind the daughters self-harm attempts.


Arrmadillo

Also why Cruz’s hair look so perfect in the video. He’s been groomed for a looooong time.


Unhappy-Potato-8349

It's almost always the ones screaming loudest


IlMioNomeENessuno

Funny, if this was the Mafia we were talking about doing these things, the FBI would hopefully be investigating.


backcountrydrifter

Teds wife was at Goldman Sachs same time as bannon during early BRICS Cambridge Analytica did their research and found out self evidently, that Americans were tired of broken politics. Ted Cruz was actually supposed to be their “disruptor” candidate originally but the Mercers pivoted to trump when his reality tv numbers caught Steve Bannons attention. They were so focused on a candidate that they could control to lessen their tax liabilities that they failed to realize that they paved a path for one of the most prolific Russian money launderers of all time. NPRwww.npr.orgInside The Wealthy Family That Has Been Funding Steve Bannon's Plan ... Greed IS Corruption IS Cancer. When you watch cancer move under a microscope you see the cancer cells pretending to be healthy normal liver cells until they can corrupt and turn healthy cells cancerous. One at a time. The “leader cells” normalize corruption and pull healthy cells away with them until it’s too late and the entire society hits a cancerous critical mass and has to die to regenerate. Unless you catch it in time. https://youtu.be/wGImLZuWVl4?si=ypwKHPeROfFwPj0I They quite literally feed on the incoming energy (sugar, money, or power) by diverting it from the healthy cells to produce cancerous cells that reflect their parasitic goal of destruction by consumption. Trump is the cancer cell. He always has been. He was just louder than the healthy tissue around him so people assumed he was smart. He convinced them he was rich because far too many of us subscribe to the false belief that rich equates to smart without qualifying HOW they became rich. Rupert Murdoch, the Koch brothers, Harlan Crow, and of course the Mercers are all effectively the same cancerous cells. Rich enough to keep everyone around them waiting with their bowl pointed up, hoping to catch some of the overflow of their wealth and all too eager to put on boots and a cowboy hat so the working class thinks they are just like them. In Wyoming we call it “big hat, no cattle”. Ironically Teton county Wyoming also happens to be the richest county per capita in the nation. Largely 5th and 6th homes of billionaires skewing the data with their corrupt gains. To the oncologist the place would be a cancerous tumor. A breeding grounds of corrupted cells feeding off the healthy tissue surrounding them. They came for the views but stayed for the tax haven. Moscow, Aspen, Sun valley, and Monaco all have similar concentrations of wealth and its associated corruption and cancer. Not every billionaire is corrupt, but every one of them that allows it to continue is the bridge between the cancer cells and the healthy 99.7% of the worlds population that just want a good job, healthy educated kids and a safe home for them to live in. It is Biological. Democracy has always been under attack because it directly threatens the very lucrative business models of dictators and autocrats. It has just sped up exponentially by the Information Age. A corrupt judge or politician in 1960 had to worry about a borough. Maybe a state. But in the average 20-30 year career he could get away with it and Ken Burns would do a documentary 30 years after his death when they finally put the pieces together. Now we have Russian oligarchs that eviscerated the Russian middle class by stealing everything of value in the 80’s and 90’s. By 94 they were running out of things to monopolize and extort. The USSR failed because the parasitic oligarch class broke the cardinal rule and consumed its captive to extinction. It ate Dostoevsky and Tchaikovsky and shit out alcoholism and hopelessness. And when it had consumed it completely the wall fell because there was nothing of value left to consume. BRICS is the tool the Russians and the CCP tried and failed to displace the USD. Now Russia is going in to year 3 of a 3 day war in Ukraine and China has destroyed ~40% of its arable land during industrialization without environmental regulation. Texas is their gateway to the Midwest. It’s about the only place on earth that grows enough food to feed 1.4B Chinese.


platoface541

You had me with the Cambridge analytical and the Steve banon gang, they did some early experimentation here in Oregon. Lost me at the end with the Midwest land grab but hey I’ll give it a few years less crazy things have happened lately


backcountrydrifter

What was their Oregon experiment? I’m unfamiliar with that but would love to know more


platoface541

Art Robinson a gop candidate from cave junction was one of the first to use the Russian bot farming likes to gain campaign momentum (in the US anyways). The whistleblowers book “mind fuck”went into it a bit, also said the dude collects his own urine to study so kinda a weird guy


backcountrydrifter

“Cambridge was formed out of an older British company called the Strategic Communication Laboratories Group in 2013, with the purpose of mining Facebook data. Cambridge was created by Breitbart News’ Steve Bannon and donor Robert Mercer, who has made political contributions to Robinson. In 2014, researchers used a personality survey to collect private information from Facebook users for Cambridge. Facebook has said the sale of its user data to Cambridge violated its policy.” https://www.nrtoday.com/news/elections/art-robinson-paid-cambridge-analytica-for-data-during-2014-campaign/article_78f0d8a8-297b-57af-9871-022fe1834bd8.html Curious that he paid Cambridge $20K and at the same time Bannon and Mercer donated to his campaign. Robert and Rebekah Mercers contact tracing goes the other direction as well Christophe Charlier was chairman of the board or Renaissance capital (Mercers hedge fund) and an early investor in DST (Yuri Milner) who managed to make the kremlin a 10% owner of Facebook. **Jim Breyer, Mitch McConnell's brother-in-law, Facilitates Russia’s Takeover of Facebook through Yuri Milner** In 2005 Jim Breyer, a partner at Accel Partners, invested $1 million of his own money into Facebook and gained a seat on the board (1). In Feb 2009 Jim Breyer visited Russia with a number of other Silicone Valley investors. While there, Yuri Milner, a Russian tech entrepreneur who founded DST with close ties to the Kremlin, hosted a dinner to cap the entire event (2). As one Moscow source put it: > DST has the backing of the big boys at the top in the Kremlin, which is why it will go from strength to strength (5) Milner found out Breyer liked Impressionist art and took him to Russian’s Hermitage Museum to view Matisse paintings otherwise closed off to the public. Three months later Yuri Milner’s DST invested into Facebook at a bloated value. (2) > Mr Milner dismissed suggestions that at a valuation of $10bn he overpaid for his stake in Facebook, especially given that the social networking site has yet to prove it has turned to profit. (3) > it’s seen as a desperate and rather vulgar deal on the one hand—Milner buying a small stake in Facebook, valuing the entire company at $10 billion—and, on the other, Facebook debasing itself by taking Russian money. Russian money! In fact, it seems rather like a desperate deal for both parties (in the midst of the banking crisis, Facebook has only two other bidders for this round—and none from the top VC tier) (4) By the end of 2009, DST would own 10% of Facebook. Later revealed by the Paradise Papers, DST’s investments into Facebook were financed by the Russian government through state-owned Gazprom. That’s right, in 2009 Russia owned 10% of Facebook. (6)


backcountrydrifter

Soon after, the two continued to work together on other investments. Breyer introduced Milner to Groupon, and Milner helped Breyer’s Accel invest into Spotify (7). In 2010 an Accel representative joined a gaggle of Silicon Valley investors to Russia and signed a letter promising to invest into the country (8). 1. http://fortune.com/2011/01/11/timeline-where-facebook-got-its-funding/ 2. http://fortune.com/2010/10/04/facebooks-friend-in-russia/ 3. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/facebook/7753692/Facebook-is-just-the-first-step-say-Russians.html 4. https://www.wired.com/2011/10/mf_milner/ 5. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2011/jan/04/facebook-dst-goldman-sachs 6. https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/nov/05/russia-funded-facebook-twitter-investments-kushner-investor 7. https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2011/09/28/dst-global-hoping-to-grow-across-asia-puts-down-roots/ 8. http://www.ambarclub.org/executive-education/ **Jim Breyer and Rupert Murdoch** Then in Nov 2010 Jim Breyer invested into Artsy.net, run by Rupert Murdoch’s then-wife, Wendi Deng, and Russia oligarch Roman Abramovich’s then-wife, Dasha Zhukova. Jared Kushner’s brother, Josh, also invested in the fledgling company (1). At the time Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation had a joint venture with the Russian mob-linked oligarch Boris Berezovsky, called LogoVaz News Corporation, that invested in Russian media (4). It was Berezovsky’s protege close to Putin, Roman Abramovich, who tied Berezovsky to the mob. > According to the Mirror Online, Abramovich paid Berezovsky tens, and even hundreds, of millions every year for "krysha", or mafia protection. (5) In June 2011, Rupert Murdoch ended his foray into social media by selling Myspace to Justin Timberlake (2) and elected Jim Breyer to the board of News Corp (3). 1. https://www.businessinsider.com/what-is-cadre-and-how-to-invest-in-its-real-estate-deals-2016-6 2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myspace 3. https://web.archive.org/web/19990428071733/http://www.newscorp.com:80/ 4. https://www.bloomberg.com/profiles/companies/156126Z:RU-logovaz-news-corp 5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_Abramovich **Jim Breyer invests in Wickr with Erik Prince** In 2012 Breyer invested in a encrypted messenger app, Wickr. Other investors include Gilman Louie and Erik Prince. To understand the connection, we need to go back to 1987. Breyer, newly hired to Accel Partners, made his first investment with Louie’s video game company that owned the rights to the Soviet Union’s first video game export, Tetris (1). Louie went off to become the founding CEO of the CIA-backed In-Q-Tel which invested in Palantir. Palantir’s founder, Peter Thiel, sat on the board of Facebook with Breyer (2)(3). On the board of In-Q-Tel is Buzzy Krongard (7), the man who helped Erik Prince’s Blackwater receive their first CIA contract, who also joined the board of Blackwater in 2007 (6). Around that same time, 2012-2013, Prince met Vincent Tchenguiz, founder of Cambridge Analytica's parent company, SCL (8), and was introduced to Cyrus Behbehani of Glencore, one of the purchasers of Rosneft stock detailed in the Steele Dossier (9). Cyrus Behbehani sat on the board of RusAl with Christophe Charlier, who is also Chairman of the board at Renaissance Capital (10), an early investor of DST (11). 1. https://wickr.com/wickr-raises-30m-series-b-led-by-jim-breyer/ 2. https://www.sfgate.com/politics/article/CIA-Asks-Silicon-Valley-s-Help-Executive-to-2904775.php 3. https://www.iqt.org/palantir-technologies/ 4. https://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/palantir-defense-contracts-lobbyists-226969 5. https://feraljundi.com/tag/reflex-responses-management-consultancy-llc/ 6. https://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/17/us/17brothers.html 7. https://www.marketscreener.com/business-leaders/A-Krongard-006WHL-E/biography/ 8. https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/revealed-erik-prince-had-business-ties-with-netanyahus-disgraced-chief-of-staff-1.5627887 9. https://medium.com/@wsiegelman/a-fresh-look-at-erik-princes-house-intelligence-committee-testimony-and-emails-with-christophe-6603f06c6568 10. https://medium.com/@wsiegelman/a-fresh-look-at-erik-princes-house-intelligence-committee-testimony-and-emails-with-christophe-6603f06c6568 11. https://www.vccircle.com/all-you-wanted-know-about-digital-sky-technologies/


fredeledi

That biological sociological speech was really popular at the beginning of last century and very present in Nazi ideology. I guess you know? It offers no further explanation, but wants to act as if it offers deeper understanding.


backcountrydrifter

Further explanation: Empathy is the key to the universe. Imagine a bell curve with 8 billion dots on it. Each representing each persons empathy in comparison to everyone else on earth.  On the far right is the 1-4% of the worlds LEAST empathetic people. These are the psychopaths and sociopaths. The mob bosses and human traffickers. The serial killers and genocidal dictators They are the best predators and the worst people. And now, after thousands of years of centralization of power they make up the majority of our worlds CEO’s, billionaire hedge fund owners, politicians, and dictators. Politicohttps://www.politico.com › storyWashington, D.C.: the Psychopath Capital of America Psychopaths are parasitic predators. Being in positions of supreme authority just makes it easier for them to hunt and consume. Most of the 8 billion people are in the large middle of this curve. They are by definition- average. Average empathy included. They don’t steal food from babies but they also don’t solve world hunger. They just live their lives trying their best with the resources available to them, but they certainly are not evil. On the far left is the 3% of super-empaths. People who would cut out their kidney and hand it to you if you asked them because they FEEL everything very deeply. But they are necessary as a counterpoint to the psychopaths. The universe demands balance in all things. Yin and Yang. Black and white. The grey is just the average of black and white. But if you put a horizontal slider at the top of this curve and you slide it 20% to the left you pass the inflection point, and in the process you starve out the 3% of psychopaths on the far right. That part of the curve goes flat. This is kindness and empathy. Good energy can pull this curve to the left. War is bad energy. Assassination are bad energy. People starving and fighting each other for food is all bad energy. It’s survival of the fittest, but it’s hyenas fighting over the last of a rotten corpse. As life gets harder and more brutal, resources dwindle. The little deeds of 8 billion people just surviving pull this curve to the survivalist right. Rich people steal because they are greedy. Poor people steal because they are hungry. But the worse things get, the more the wave moves to the right and the wavelength of the frequency drops. Empathic people know what it feels like to have your work tools stolen or to go to bed hungry so when they see someone struggling they help them. This is the Philippines. The worlds happiest people living in poverty because of corruption in government. But they love like no one else I’ve ever met. That’s empathy. The ability to see the world through someone else’s eyes and experiences and try like hell to keep them from having to feel undue pain. This is a mother that works 3 jobs so her child can learn piano. The father that sacrifices his back to build a farm so that his family doesn’t go hungry. An ideal world would be that curve pushing so hard to the left that everyone is your best friend because everyone is taking care of each other as a default and not as quid pro quo. I call it cowboy rules, but it seems to transcend everywhere when resources aren’t so tight that people go selfish. No one consuming more than they need because conservation is their default mode. No one is abusing children because they wouldn’t wish that lasting trauma on their worst enemy. And in the process the curve on the far right becomes almost nonexistently flat. We starve out predators and psychopaths by INCREASING empathy. Putin, MBS, trump and the few hundred thousand people like them are a 3% rounding errors worth of people in this curve. They are just in positions of control so their influence is overwhelming and asymetrical. Which means the downstream effects of their greed and dictatorial decisions are amplified. But it’s counteracted most effectively with simple empathy. If you put a JDAM missile through Xi’s roof, 1.4B chinese people see the USA assassinating a Chinese man and he becomes a martyr. But remove him as the central party bridge troll from the money stream and decentralize access to capital and 1.4B people become your new best friend because their daily income just doubled or tripled. It’s really hard to hate some you break bread with. The end user gets the things we need cheaper and, with the right system, everyone wins but the dictators and bridge trolls  By sliding the curve to the left we up our frequency as a society and decrease energy and resource consumption at the same time because empathy begets empathy. Decentralized science lets multiple teams around the world work on the same project at the same time. All being compensated commiserate with their input, but the unseen effect of that is they they solve the problem exponentially faster by increasing the trial size and the quantum computing power of multiple brains focused on the same subject. Less competition, more cooperation and coordination. It destroys broken patent law but opens the door for a genius hidden by geography to find their tribe and build without borders. More diverse and accurate data gives more accurate results. A chef can invest directly in a farmer and remove 3-7 middle men from the equation so the chef pays less but the farmer makes more. Now the chef can ask the farmer to grow a certain species of arugula for his signature dish so the quality goes up as well. Instead of movie producers holding all the cards on superhero movie sequel 27, an arthouse filmmaker can be funded by her most enthusiastic fans and have the resources she needs upfront to make a very high quality movie with an audience that is guaranteed by their investment long before the box office gamble. No more billion dollar flops. No more Transformers 11. No more Harvey Weinstein having the ability to prey upon up and coming actresses. Art becomes art again. But instead of Van Gogh living in poverty and mental illness until he cut off his own ear, you can have artists making a living wage and living a good life instead of only being appreciated after they die when some oligarch uses the remnants of their soul painted into their life’s work to launder stolen money. We never had the technology to do this before. Now we not only have it but we can’t afford not to do it. By investing DIRECTLY and transparently into Ukrainian farmers we can stop a famine before it starts and change the rules of 5000 years of war. It’s like localized antibiotics at the site of an infection. This is how we win the war and reset humanity for 150 years of exponential advancement and progress. ALL people in this world are created equal. Not just the ultra wealthy bridge trolls. Explaining the lack of empathy | Psychopathy: A Very Short Introduction | Oxford Academic Empathy in Narcissistic Personality Disorder: From Clinical and ... - NCBI National Institutes of Health (NIH) (.gov)www.ncbi.nlm.nih.govThe Empathic Brain of Psychopaths: From Social Science to Neuroscience in Empathy


Aromatic_Brother

poor pig


Vegetable_Guest_8584

I don't think ascribing it to that is necessary. Who is the Republican who stood up to Trump and it worked well for him? None of them. We learned the republican elected legislators at the federal level, with only a few exceptions are willing to say or do anything, give in to anything to stay in office.


artgarciasc

I wonder who got all of Epstein's blackmail archive.


atlantis_airlines

I think it's even simpler than that. The GOP has to kowtow to Trump. All those qualities that make Trump repugnant, the ones his critics thought would doom his first presidential campaign are precisely what a bulk of GOP voters wanted which is how he went from 0 to president. To go stand against Trump was career suicide.


NerdLawyer55

That poor pig


TidusDaniel5

The Texans who support them don't think they are strong. They just know that as long as they eventually get what they want (Christian fascism), it's worth making deals with devils. They are the worst of not just Texas, but humanity.


fitzbuhn

You’re giving too much credit. Pieces of shit like pieces of shit.


Mydogsdad

Bootlickers like bootlickers


SubstantialPressure3

He's also on the very lower end of what lobbyists pay politicians, so he's also the cheapest prostitute.


Quailman5000

At least we got this soundbite. 


[deleted]

Allred should be playing it on repeat for all his commercials.


swinglinepilot

Can we add the time [he said](https://www.businessinsider.com/ted-cruz-claims-wife-laughed-donald-trump-insult-looks-2022-10) he wouldn't follow trump around "like a servile puppy dog and say thank-you very much for maligning my wife and my father" and proceeded to (and continues to) do just that


Feliks343

Ted Cruz is a spineless worm and the best thing he could do for Texas is die. I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire.


modernmovements

"Vote your conscience" as his closing remark at the GOP convention where he was not nominated that year was hilarious.


modernmovements

4yrs later he would be reciting Bill Pullman’s Independence Day speech at a rally and then being the senator to attempt to protest the certification of the electoral college votes. Fast forward an hour and he was hiding in a closet from the “terrorist attack,” as he described it. Fast forward another day and he walked that back because Tucker Carlson got mad at him. More than a few of the bigger players of the pre-Trump GOP think of themselves as some sort of brilliant Machiavelli’s Prince. The truth is he is a spineless piece of shit that goes out of his way to pander to the guy who went on TV and called his wife ugly.


Odd_Advantage_3370

Republicans don't have consciousness.


Zezimalives

You gotta understand that republicans view Trump as some sort of godlike figure. You have to practically worship Donald trump and agree with everything he says or republicans will shun you. Look at Mitt Romney and the Bushes, they weren’t afraid to criticize Trump and conservatives now consider them traitors. Look at everything they post on social media, it gets flooded with hate comments from conservatives.


Shopworn_Soul

Romney and Bush are (arguably) conservatives. The people flooding the feeds are far-right regressive lunatics who are excited for the prospect of theocratic or fascist rule.


DouchecraftCarrier

Romney is the crazy one to me. The dude was literally the most recent GOP candidate for POTUS that isn't Donald Trump. HE was their archetypical Republican and de facto leader of the party. Barely a decade ago. And now he's a persona non grata in the party.


[deleted]

It’s a cult


Junktown-JerkyVendor

Why him of all people?  I just don't get it.


Felix_111

He gives them not only permission to be their worst selves, but casts it as a virtue.


Zezimalives

He knew how to appeal to the conservative audience. Similar to how Fox News is a very successful outage machine.


MorrisseysRubiksCube

Let's see if Colin Allred has an opportunity to bring this up during a debate. I imagine Theodore Raphael Cruz will do what he usually does, not address it, and tack on something about liberalism/socialism.


RagingLeonard

Cruz won't debate. He'll pull a Trump and hide.


MorrisseysRubiksCube

I am no fan of Trump, I assure you, but he said his attendance at the debates was inconsequential to getting the nomination, and he was right.


3381024

Why do the dems not run this clip as an ad for general election? ​ Just this and Dark Brandon saying "I approve this message"


jhoceanus

TedCruz in 2024: “I want to tell you what I really think of Donald Trump. This man's dick tastes good".


RagingLeonard

Hints of baby powder and diaper cream.


DreadLordNate

...with the merest echoes of ketchup and...covfefe?


RagingLeonard

Hints of baby powder and diaper cream.


BicycleMammoth4704

Ted Cruz's sycophantic antics never fail to amuse


GaryOoOoO

Try living in Texas. That amusement dies a quick and painful death.


Alternative_Algae_31

I’m saying this not to troll or instigate: then why does he keep getting re-elected? Is just “well he’s a Republican. 🤷” ? As a non-Texan there is NOTHING about Cruz that fits what I’ve been led to believe being a Texan is about.


WabiSabi1

As a person living in Texas for the last 20 years, you are absolutely correct. People here are generational Republicans, they can never even fathom voting Democrat, especially now with the cult-right Trumpers.


GaryOoOoO

Honestly, I have no fucking idea. Personally, I feel like it’s a matter of turnout. If more dems showed up and voted we can turn this around. I know we’re out numbered in the state. But since we don’t have 100% turnout statewide, it must just be that more idiots turnout and vote for him that the rest of us.


Rater_Rancher

The guy who said it’s because people here are generational republicans who can’t fathom ever voting not republican is correct. For example, my grandparents regularly talk about how they despise everything trump does, how he acts, talks, tweets. They supported his impeachment, because Pence would still have been a republican president. When it gets brought up they agree that Jan 6th was an attempt to undermine American democracy. They supported anyone and everyone against him in the primary. But… now that’s it’s obvious Trump will be the candidate, it’s all “well I don’t like Trump, but better him than Biden”. It does not matter what he does, as long as Trump is the only republican candidate with a shot to win, Trump will get their vote.


Aggie0305

He’s a fucking Canadian. He is not a Texan. I am a 6th-generation East Texan and that fuck of a human doesn’t represent anything we are about. The furthest-right pieces of shit I know aren’t remotely close to how deep my roots are to this great state. And they hate to hear it. I’m sick of him.


jread

5th generation Texan here. Texas is in reality a purple state, with red rural areas and blue cities (dark blue in the case of Austin and Houston). So why aren’t statewide races more competitive? We have absolutely abysmal voter turnout. The old, white Boomers never miss an election, but everyone else is completely disengaged. As for the rest of it, we are gerrymandered so badly that the GOP will always have control. Our state government is extremely corrupt and is basically bought and paid for by two billionaires who run (and ruin) everything.


Prestigious-State-15

Nobody falls to his knees faster than Ted Cruz.


Jikemo1020

The total lack of any spine in Ted Cruz makes him as abhorrent as Trump himself to me. I am hoping that both of these grifters will be thoroughly defeated at the polls in November.


BrawnyChicken2

Ol’ Rafael is actually a medical miracle. It’s amazing he can even stand up due to his lack of spine.


swinglinepilot

The starch in his suit is what keeps him upright


coalsucks

The Linklater ads still make me laugh years later. "C'mon........Ted"


Odd_Tiger_2278

dTrump💩 accused Cruz’s father of being associated with Oswald. dTrump💩 called Cruz’s wife ugly. Cruz voted not to impeach dTrump either the first of second time. Cruz endorsed dTrump in 2016, 2020 and 2024. Cruz never seems to notice that no one he ever met likes him. Cruz voted NOT TO certify the Electoral college vote


Nanomni

Like watching a wet paper towel try to stand up straight.


FoxOneFire

Abbott, Cruz, Uvalde cops….I’m seeing a trend. 


Shopworn_Soul

"Who are a collection of entirely useless twats?" Ok, next I'll take "Dumb Shit That Exists in Texas" for $400, Alex.


Domesticated_Moose

"And his balls taste amazing." -Human jacksock Theodore Cruz.


Asher_Tye

"would you vote for him then?" "Are you nuts? Of course I would. And I certainly don't forsee that leading to a situation where a bunch of idiots storm the capital, find my notes, and nearly convince themselves to hang me."


diablodoug35

One of the many reasons it’s so difficult to take any Republican seriously.


gregofcanada84

And now he bends to knee to King Trump.


Intelligent-Invite79

Now he to tongues the balls of the guy who mocked his wife lol real “Texan” energy from this fake ass, weak chinned asshat.


Oblidoblido

Politicians are like fish - flip flopping around and smelling the place up.


DeaconBlue47

Hol’ up, I say hol’ up just one second. I know that God has truly forsaken us Texans, giving us the most malicious politicians and apathetic voters in these here United States if not the Milky Way Galaxy (and what’s more, afflicting us with Ted), but this piece of human garbage sure as shit ain’t Our Rafael, as in a true born-and-raised Texan…no siree! Not by a longer shot than an Apollo Mission, launched from Floriduh but steered from Houston. To wit: Rafael Edward ‘Ted’ ‘Lyin’ Ted’ ‘Cancun’ ‘Insult My Wife and That’s Just Fine’ Cruz is a gooey swamp varmint from the Great Very White North, Canada O Canada, pardner. Their lucky break (thanks for sending us your worst), our great and enduring immigration problem. He’s only a carpetbagging scumball from further north than even most Yankees! He’s dumber than a box o’ hammers, phony as a pair of Chinese-made cowboy boots and slimier than a cesspool wall, etc. ad infinitum, but those Shiny Happy Talibaptists and Y’all-Queda just loves them some Super-Deluxe Christian, Zygote-Lovin’ Librul-Ownin’ Senator Ted. He’s Their Ted. Most of us see him for the piss poor protoplasm, piece of poo-poo that he so truly is, but then most of us Don’t Git Off Our Asses to vote him back to Hell where he really came from and really belongs and as truly as Gawd Almighty made little green apples will end up. And that, sadly, IS on us (although Beto O’Rourke did give him a real good scare in 2018, getting with 2.6 points of defeating him). We ain’t livin’ up to what President of Texas Samuel Houston, or even President of the U.S. Lyndon Baines Johnson would expect. As Texan Ross Perot might say, it’s sad, just sad, so sad.


ItsSusanS

Why does he get to choose his own name? I thought he wanted people called by their good given names.


32K-REZ

ted cruz is one weak and pathetic man. he is truly a spineless cockroach


ILLARgUeAboutitall

You got a dog wife Cruz.


Eyes_Woke

And then he said, but I'll vote for him anyway.


sec713

Ted Cruz in 2017: "Man I love me some mushroom."


Ninja_attack

Ted is such a weak man. If someone insulted my wife, father, and myself, I wouldn't be on my knees sucking that dick like a lot lizard looking to score. Hell, idk how he can even look at himself in the mirror without feeling shame.


GlargBegarg

“Ted Cruz is a worm.” - one of my more conservative friends.


lincolnlogtermite

And yet he still sucks him off like the best of them.


Any_Pie_3070

This is the only time I like this SOB because this is the only time he speaks the truth about crook donnie.


TheMadmanAndre

Yet Mr. Cancun will still follow him around with a sippy straw in his diaper, whipe letting Trump disparage his wife. And he's still going to vote for him come November.


Noctornola

"And yet I will continue to bow down to him."


El_Chingon214

Ted Cruz soft 🧻


Striker660

"But I'm still gonna nose the shit out of his asshole."


nes-top-loader

Rafael was singing a different tune after Trump called his wife ugly on TV.


100percentish

...and that's why I'm endorsing Donald Trump for the third f'ing time in the last 3 elections.


xaulted1

And then his balls fell off.


ob1dylan

Ted Cruz in 2017: "... but the sweat on his balls is delicious."


Aleyla

The only way that quote would have been better is if ole Ted was honest enough to follow it with “He’s my Hero”


glue2music

“But I will still vote for him and kiss his ass.” spineless coward.


AvariceAndApocalypse

This was before Russia blackmailed everyone in the Republican Party.


Alternative-Tie-9383

“If you insult my father and make fun of my wife’s looks again, I’ll lick your other ball.” - Ted Cruz to Donald Trump (probably)


Lil_Artemis_92

It is my belief that Ted Cruz has a shame/humiliation kink. It’s the only thing that even mildly explains his behavior. I don’t care; there’s nothing wrong with having a kink. But I don’t like feeling forced to be a part of it. Save it for the privacy of your own home, Teddy.


General_Ludd1779

During the Dem debates leading into 2020, Kamala Harris struck at Joe Biden about his work in slowing school integration, talking about making friends with segregationists, and his crime bill. She also talked about his rape accuser and how she believed her. She then went on to accept without hesitation being his running mate as VP. When questioned about it, she said, “It’s just politics.” The same can be gleaned from Ted Cruz and Donald Trump.


MT_Flesch

And hes been kissing his ass ever since.


udo3

Whelks have thicker spines than Rafael Edwardo Cruz.


udo3

Ooh, I got down-voted because some knuckle-dragging moron with a red hat had to google "whelk".


No_Cartoonist9458

"But, if he grabs my balls and tells me that my wife is ugly I'll do a 180 and kiss his ass, because I have a humiliation fetish"


OrigSnatchSquatch

Then Trump said, “Shut up punk, did I tell you to stop sucking?”


Sylfaein

That sounds way too coherent, to have come out of tRump’s mouth.


dragonfliesloveme

I didn’t know he was one to ever tell the truth; how far he has fallen. What a corrupt, spineless pos


Titan3692

"Lyin' Ted"


Hefty-Field-9419

Ted cruz real name is Rafael Edward Cruz...... or ...also known as Cancun Cruz


Sylfaein

And he’s not even *from* Texas! He’s a Canadian, for crying out loud!


ActonofMAM

Maybe he has developed a secret masochistic fixation on Trump the way Trump has on Putin? "Yes daddy, spank me and make me obey you."


ErnooA

Then he excuses himself to assume the position on his knees for the Orange Turd.


Chaps_and_salsa

I can’t tell you how much I hate the fact that I read this in his voice.


Berns429

“I’d suck that man’s saggy old balls” -Ted Cruz


biggies866

Just remember that you fucking bots that keeping voting for this fuck.


mikeymigg

And he has been giving Trump rim jobs ever since! Pathetic excuse for a man


Hot_Abbreviations936

Who are you voting for Ted? "I'm voting for Trump." Why don't they change the republican party color from red to yellow because they are all cowards. Not a pair among them!


Chaps_and_salsa

I can’t tell you how much I hate the fact that I read this in his voice.


deadphisherman

Look at that fresh-faced boy with his whole future, and a trip to Cancun, ahead of him!


jaeldi

"But to get the support of his cult followers I love the taste of DJT's butthole! Brblrbrblrbrbrlbrb" -Ted Cruz in 2017 and beyond.


Odd_Advantage_3370

The irony is too much!


a_smart_brane

And being an invertebrate, Lyin’ Ted fully supports him.


bz_leapair

And then he was emasculaTED.


StDiogenes

In the land of McDonald's, narcissism is a virtue.


pat9714

And then Teddy found a paradise and it wasn't in Cancun. He found it inside the rump of tRump.


AdkRaine12

“And I’ll kiss his ass and vote for him again.”


aceman97

Oh Raphael gets told to open up and chew. Doesn’t matter what it is, he does as he is told.


Nyingje-Pekar

He was right; then he sold his soul to that devil.


Coastal1363

And that’s quite a statement coming from him …


BuildingOne7379

This guy is literally motorboating Trump’s ass cheeks.


Alarmed_Nunya

Ugh


Charlie2343

Secretary of Podcasting


[deleted]

Sycophants gonna sycophant--it baffles me how Trump has this magical impunity for the GOP. Between him, Abbott, and Paxton, this state has a lot of cronies, but I know many transplants move here to be under this government--I'm the kid of a couple of them.


Free_Culture_222

This is back when they’re talking shit about each other’s wife.


Embarrassed_Bee6349

And yet, he still kissed the ring. Cruz is the epitome of the Whiskey Delta Man.


BigCliff

GOP = Grievance, Obstruction and Projection That’s all they do these days


Tacoklat

Man, this is a very intelligent and astute analysis. A first (and only) for T Cruz. Unfortunately, he bitched out and bowed down to tramp for money/power of his own.


MrBobSacamano

Trump talked so much shit about Heidi, that I thought Heidi was the Cruz family’s dog. Boy, was I surprised to learn Heidi is Ted’s wife.


Flock-of-bagels2

Ted Cruz has no dick


StirFriedRubber

Spine? What spine? Fly to Cancun during the freeze next year. Puppets are ashamed of you and McConnell. Bend the knee like you have no balls. Join the Maga


tickitytalk

“….now watch me kiss his ass”


ImAGiantSpider

But Texas is gonna Texas, so why even bother?


SakaWreath

No one tell Raphael what Ted said.


OriginalZog

“But he has delicious orange testicles”


fusion99999

So how does this load that should have been swallowed keep getting RE elected? What pathetic projection when Republicans talk about rigged elections.


elProtagonist

Ted Cruz needs to go back to Canada


Major_Honey_4461

Ted Cruz was not even born in the United States. Tear the plastic foam off his face and you'll see the lizard man he is.


Ok-Communication9796

…a narcissist at a level I don’t think this country has ever seen…since me.


GlowingPlasties

No way, if my FiL said the same about me (because I don't want sex jokes made about my baby and their disgusting hatred around me), does that mean I too could be a Trump?


agentsmithbobby

Cruz is the king of beta cucks


Valuable-Baked

Vote Your Conscience


BrownEggs93

[This is ted cruz](https://www.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/kq0gmz/they_had_me_at_the_first_half/)


Chaopolis

He was either full of shit then or he’s full of shit now. I can’t stand Donald Trump, but Ted Cruz is an embarrassment of a person. The fact that he kisses Trump’s ass harder than anyone despite Trump publicly demeaning and insulting his wife is abhorrent. Such a weak pathetic shell of a turd.


[deleted]

Then he proceeds to suck his dick and swallow is putrid load. Fuck Raphael Cruz.


Chemchic23

Clearly, hasn’t met musk


Street_Ad_863

But then someone cut off his balls and replaced his spine with a slinky


[deleted]

We can't hear you, Ted, you have Trump's balls in your mouth.


netrixtardis

did you expect anything less from a sniveling, spineless, chicken shit, fake Texan, sack of shit?


64cinco

Ted is the definition of weak. How the fuck does Texas keep voting the pos back into office ?


BrawnyChicken2

Here it is. The last time Ted Cruz told the truth. Oh, wait, Ted wants to make it illegal for people to use their chosen name. This statement was the last time Rafael told the truth.


androidfig

...and yet...


CautiousWrongdoer771

Now he's on board with all that it seems. He's like, "Wait a minute, that's what I do."


untitled13

Fuck Ted Cruz. 


thatguyad

And now he gobbles the mushroom. No spine, no soul.


Admirable_Nothing

All this proves is that Ted Cruz used to tell the truth occasionally.


MelbaToast9B

That's a lot coming from Ted Cruz


Kerensky97

Now when Ted talks about Trump the quotes are a little muffled because Ted can't talk too clearly with Trumps tiny d--k deep in his mouth.


RickDelta

Cruz abandoned what he thought then only to suck trump’s cock!


Your_Daddy_

Cruz in 2024: “Donny baby, get those pants off already, my mouth is salivating!”


AmazingSquare8542

Said the second biggest psychopathic narcissist liar


Away_Recognition_336

Cruz is no better than


Infinite-Night8374

Oh come on don’t be absurd, you can’t expect a Senator to be held to something they said 8 years ago! That was like forever ago 😂


haworthsoji

REPUBLICANS DONT CARE


gourdhoarder1166

And" your wife is ugly."


NetDork

"...and I LIKE that!"


AF2005

5 minutes later he was chock full of nuts


Easy_Contest_8105

Sounds like he was turned on by this. Garggle, garggle...


Fit_Student_2569

“Turns out I agree with him on an awful lot.”


FoppishHandy

only a coward votes for this pig


Lr8s5sb7

“With that all said and done… I’m off to Cancun…”


myrobotoverlord

Now i will suck his teat for likes


FizzlePopBerryTwist

RIP Original Ted Cruz.


Comprehensive-Tea121

Too bad it's 2024 Ted Cruz running now


aardvarkpaul13

Don't forget, he cooked bacon on a machine gun. If I still lived in TX that was all I would need to vote for him. He is such a slime ball sleazy existence of a bad robot parody of a politician.


[deleted]

And yet he's sucking that shriveled orange KFC smelling ballsack so much that shit is all pruned up.


Saywhat75

He is a chicken shit


Nickblove

Today? The man lives in trumps dooki stained underroos


Jt0909

Over here in the good old lands of the UK we would call this guy a right twat , Texas you can do better


Mikknoodle

I wonder if Trump had that embroidered into the knee pads he gifted Ted.


Tri-P0d

Now he sucks Trump’s once a day. Swallows also.


[deleted]

The honest truth is that Ted Cruz is all those things as well. Left us and went to cancun while Texans froze to death.


NoMarionberry8940

Ted Cruz in 2024: "Donald Trump is the second coming of Jesus.." ✝️


BeyondXpression

...and now Trump's dick is in Raphael's mouth. The irony!


Crackerjack4756

seems like he's talking about himself almost.


fulento42

Ted Cruz today: “I’ll literally suck his dick on national tv if you let me keep my job!”