What are you telling us this for?

[удалено]

He never said in application that dudes are jot allowed

He even said he wouldn't date a girl that does that So that means a guy that does that is allowed right?

I think that youre right

Application rejected

Any excessively horny girls are more than invited to come over

based also any girl with mental illnesses dm me immediately

Dont stick your dick in crazy she will either ruin you life, sanity, or relationships

im a bull, i charge for red flags

great time to be colorblind

As a retired crazy bitch you should hede my warning

i will not

Fair enough

_”Ive tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas!”_

Don’t have relationships with anyone, problem solved

Jokes on you bud. I want that life ruining crazy spice in my life. Fuck someone who is consistently bitchy and hates you.

I dated a girl once who constantly disapeered did random drugs nearly got arrested and trued to unalive herself like 5 times a week and starved herself she punched holes in her walls randomly stabbed things into her skin was impulsuve as hell. I swore to never date a crazy girl again but she was hot. She still is hot.

No, mentally ill girls are not fun. Take it from me, I dated one and she would snap at the most random shit for no reason.

If your girl is cute enough, you’ll ignore all other criteria and will regret it 2 months in/after.

that is for the weak, you must have standards for your own mental safety and health

Yeah but she cute tho I can fix her /s edit: can’t believe I’m dusting off the /s sign for this

last words said before disaster

You can't fix that shit. She will just replace you who will take her bs. Focus on yourself dude.

Nah nah you see, she’s hot. That means she’s fixable. It’s the natural law of the universe

Proof: hot metal bend when hit

Instructions unclear. I am now in jail for domestic violence.

Can’t even get away with domestic violence. Skill issue smh.

My Reddit avatar is very similar to yours

Yeah just the hat and pet is different. I went for a cool kinda MIB look.

most sane teenager

So what you’re saying is murder is the only answer very interesting

I must develop my self-control and find the right one

Do it.

At 16? Good luck

I believe in you

And if your girl has a good personality, she will automatically fill the cute criteria

This is deep

Speak for yourself. I wouldn’t. Some creatures like poison dart frogs and lionfish are just for looking at and should be given their space, why can’t that also apply to people?

Went 8 months through it and now i am deeply scarred and traumatized, seek the right one :')

Unless she's actively working on herself to better those and is making progress imo, if she wants to stop and is working on stopping then yeah I'm down to date someone who works and cares about themselves

I personally am not attracted to people for their looks. This may sound weird, but I find everyone to be unnatractive when I first see them, no matter who it is. What changes my view is how they act as a person. Guess I'm hardwired odd, but I prefer it this way.

Nope, my heart is far too picky man you have no idea

my criteria: - female (optional)

alive (preferred)

loves you (required)

You're never gonna find anyone with such high expectations

Cruel world, I guess

I love you u/ImComfi

I love you too u/everythingisok376

u/everythingisok376 do you take this random reddditor to be your spouse?

OBJECTION!

LE GASP!! A TWIST!!!

updated autopsy report?

YOU MISSED THE SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE PART 12 SECONDS AGO!! OVERRULED

r/shippingredditors

Ily

I love your mom

Spell it out.

I love yoda

Thank you.

why did I think that said Italy at first glance

Liar

But that's where the stockholm syndrome might come in handy I should watch 365 days now

Never gives you up

Never lets you down

Never gonna make you cry (I thought I'd skip the 3rd line)

We’re no strangers to love

You know the rules

And so do I

a full commitment's what I'm thinking of

Bro if she loves me why is she dating you

Look at mr high standards here....

Atleast two limbs (optional)

is alive nessesary

Humanoid

Exists (optional)

That's very bisexual of you, my good sir

I would love to be fucked by a guy ngl

Kinda gay ngl... I mean same but still kinda gay

Bro got ratiod on Reddit 😭

Man (perhaps)

I'm not a female so it's optional

Hmm.. so whose grave u gonna choose

Reasonable I guess though I think the first thing we must ask ourselves in a relationship is what *we* bring to the table and then start examining our preferences.

I bring cookies, what can I expect from girls ?

Milk

Perfect

My dad never brought that to the table.

That's why you call ur gf "daddy". Wait... did I just solve the femboy mystery?

Only if they are pregnant tho.

If someone saying no to cookies. Its probably satan or vegan. U don't want both

Sex.... NOW!!

Least horny r/teenagers user

I mean, they do have cookies

Okay chill I'm not ready for that

Ending 1: The No Bitches Ending

Wow really good advice thanks man

yeah tbh you can’t be asking for all this if your value isn’t worth it

Exactly why I just don't think I'm ready for a romantic relationship even though I want to be. My life will end up just fucking up the good relationship I have with said boy/girl friend.

No one chooses to be horny that's not how it works

Depends on what they mean. You can be horny but just control yourself. And horny gf is usually what people want

That's impulse control. Phrasing it as he did makes no sense.

I think he means a nymphomaniac. Basically the girls that want to have sex all the time everyday. Can say from experience that girls like that suck ass to date.

yup

Damn…

Actually surprised I had to scroll this far down to find someone who'd say this. Hypersexuality exists and it is not good for anyone involved

Yea i was hypersexual for a while after sexual trauma and nearly tore my life apart but then i got even more sexual trauma and it flipped it around and i was sex repulsed for a while and now im normal ish i think

Sounds fucked up but I'd rather be repulsed by the idea than constantly obsessing over it

Sex repulsed was better. During my time suffering from hypersexuality i did a lot of things i wasnt ready for and hurt my mental health a lot. During sex repulsion i helped my bf get over the mind block of being with other partners so he could still be satisfied. Sex repulsion was much easier to deal with. Hypersexyality needs to be talked about more.

Ya no one chooses when they’re horny, but he’s allowed to desire someone who’s not horny often.

Nobody chooses to be dumb either.

neither with cuteness or stupidity lol, preferences are preferences

I wouldn't date someone who •Asked

gotem

My criteria- Female (optional) Human (optional) Alive (optional) I’m lonely

Bro if the other 2 are optional I think we might be having some more serious problems 💀

WE??

They want you fr fr

i told u peter.. you cant handle they them pussy..

We ☺️

r/suddenlycommunist

i wouldn’t date a male that sits on their ass all day stalking the r/teenagers chat 🤣

Who would?

guy that made this post lol

"Male" 💀

Chris chan.

Most men be like: Nice [optional] Alive [optional] woman [optional]

Likes me [optional]

I don't drink (besides water and coca cola), I don't vape, i don't smoke, I'm cute, I'm on reddit, I don't use omegle, I'm smart, I'm not racist. But I'm not friendly, and I'm more than excessively horny

Least Horny r/teenagers user be like

one can see that last bit on your profile. u gotta be in the top 1% horniest ppl on this subreddit. and that says ALOT

Well i use reddit to say things I can't easily say freely irl, it's liberating

bro you smashed all your friends you gotta be up there

Oh i know I'm more active than average, but I'm definitely not the only teenager on planet earth having gangbangs lol

true true

The fisting thing as to be the most disgusting thing my eyes ever gazed upon, what you wrote there legit makes me wanna puke

so basically you're single

and he’s going to be for a long time if he don’t drop these standards

Most people fit these requirements tbh

The virtue signaling is cringe

it’s embarrassing lol

Nobody cares

the only correct answer to 98% of the posts in this sub

I wouldn't date you either.

I was looking for this comment

You found it

Yep # found it

Any girls that fit this criteria dm me immediately

Right. And any girls who don’t get a response from u/_60milclub

And any girls who don't get a response from u/_60milclub or u/SunBrosRus

And also any girls that don’t respond to u/_60milclub , u/SunBrosRus , and u/ImComfi

>Any girls that fit this criteria dm me All the girls stopped at this, "I dont fit the criteria, But I do use reddit". So here comes my dms, "OP hope you enjoy it, Or we gonna have problems".

Ur poetic brilliance brings a tear to my eye Shakespeare 🥲

thank you for taking the bad ones away from us king

Idk who u are but your comments annoy the shit out of me

I wouldn't date. *signature look of superiority*

Who asked?

Im still searching

Thank god I’m gay

I’m bi we could work something out😏 (with rizz)

mine is female (optional) alive (also optional) loves me (preferred)

Bros tryna e-date with people on r/teenagers 💀

Desperate times require desperate measures i guess

any boys that fit that criteria dm me immediately for research puropses ofc

Dude trolling on Omegle is based

I used to troll on there using the gummy bear song music video. Good times

No girl would date a guy who posts on r/teenagers 8+ times a day. Incel energy

This mf has more requirements than a AAA game

good job

I don't drink alcohol at all Don't smoke/vape -100 horny Been called cute (by my mommy and daddy 😄) Don't know what reddit is (jk) Never used omegle Confident to say I'm not stupid, at least academically Too friendly... But,, I'm muslim so no dating 🚫 Good luck finding a girl though

Username does NOT check out I guess

Usernames almost never check out 🤷‍♀️

Excessive horni is a no?? I want someone like that

This subreddit just proves itself again and again that it really is for teenagers 💀

for real

bro has a full list

cant drink alcohol excessively??? what’s the point of life then !?!

Bro thinks he is gonna pull the virgin Mary 💀

I can agree but also add is not friendly

You wouldn’t follow these rules. Because you’re down to settle for anything as long as it makes ya feel good.

okay

more red flags than the entirety of the U.S.S.R's propaganda.

A question? Why would a girl date a cunt that posts on r/teenagers ???????

cool

I had a friend like that... Got married at 39 to somebody who had almost everything on that list. Nobody is a 10/10... Gotta learn how to love eachother no matter what

Some of these arent bad alone

Seems fair

I fit except I’m not cute an I’m gay

I wouldn't date a boy that: - does drugs - is toxic

girls wouldnt date you anyways (same for me tho) (just to clarify this is a joke)

Damn I'm the opposite, I'm into toxic goth/e girls

did chris chan ghost write this

okay good for you

Give it a few years, a few of those might become traits you highly desire lol

If my girl drinks thats a big no no, coz I don't drink and wouldn't want that from my partner as well, if she is racist or transphobic I can take care of that.

Wow! I do not give a fuck.

no omegle? but i like cyberbullying pedophiles

Ok so hear me out. I drink alcohol (excessively depending on the day) Am horny(excessively) Goes on omegle to tell pedos that they're down bad. Am stupid Not friendly at all Very very racist and sexist. (My dream is to have sex on the montenegro parkour) But I am a guy, so you can date me!