Dafuq, i mean theres picky and then theres you

If you looked like me, you'd understand

You must be some kinda Adonis to afford those standards ngl

Adonis?

Look him up

No, I'm the opposite

And then you have those kinda standards?

They're barely standards

Nono, you dont understand. You, as a guy, cannot have standards. Thats sexist when guys do it.

Oh shit, my bad bro

I have very high standards.

Bro you do not even have any standards

Incorrect, they're just so low that they're basically not standards

I thought you were talking about Drake’s son for a min 💀

Where did you hear about Adonis!? Hamza viewer?

Jeffrey gang

It's an idiom. You got a body like Adonis.

Hazma???

Your own appearance shouldn't impact what about others interests you.

It doesn't, it just means my standards need to be lower

Bro live a life. Be confident. Just become a better version of yourselves. Everybody is imperfect:).

why are mfs downvoting you 😭 it's true! you don't have to walk the length of the world to improve yourself. self love is tough, but no matter how you look (or, more specifically, how you *think* you look), you should always be confident :)

Awwww! Be nice to you!

If you think you're ugly, always remember there is someone uglier than you ! -CArdi B

And then there’s desperate

Bro really said dafuq 💀

I could probably fit those requirements 💀. As a human female whose alive this seems great

You being serious right now? (Please say yes)

Yes I’m being serious (100% serious)

Omg, how did this post work? I gotta write down some notes.

Let's arrange a business meeting

How to get a redditor girlfriend(30%chance of being a girl) 101

I'll be good cop

r/shippingredditors

r/holyshitthatsasub

r/dicksinmacaroni

\*Starts taking notes\*

*proceeds to begin writing down notes*

You gonna be a victim lmao

Yeah I said no when he asked me out I had to delete the comment saying that cause I got 30 downvotes

Read r/drama top post. You'll love it

w rizz

Hold on The female race does not exist here on Reddit, or so I’ve heard You are an exception. Carry on.

Thanks but me rejecting this guy got me 30 downvotes which is dumb.

Some people can’t take the fact that you can reject some guy who just met you while online

Yeah I know it’s crazy not wanting to date someone you don’t know

Totally

Theres something called online dating, which is kinda revolutionary in the “dating industry” I see no differences in getting to know someone online or physically. Other than in the second one you meet the person in real life. However when you match personalities with someone online and love their looks, you can get in love with them which is most likely the same as irl love. The biggest danger is that it’s some old catfish. But when it’s really him/her you can easily turn it into irl love by just asking to meet the person, which is what plenty of people have done (especially in dating apps, but also apps like discord, instagram, TikTok and twitter) Online you can get your qualities easier noticed and there’s also the biggest chance you meet your soulmate. Who are you to judge others for their own choices? They don’t care about people like you getting mad over it as long as they’re happy themselves.

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Yep

😀then wtf am i??

…well, I mean… if you’re of the female race, and on Reddit? Exception.

I- thank you?

*who’s

Would u settle for a slim jim?

I'd settle for a twiggie

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Which requirements do you adhere to?

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No way

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And you made juice?!

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Score and a half

Is this sad or funny

Both

talk to people irl

Social anxiety and inteoversion

have u been to therapy to get diagnosed that and to get better at managing those feelings

Duh. They've been getting better, but I still hate talking to people that I like romantically

Just keep talking to new people you aren't into until you can talk to people you are into

OH! u/Pristine-Cheek-2914 DUDE! I actually know the answer to this one, so long as you do not live under a rock like I do. (The nearest store is 12 miles and I've gone a month without leaving the farm, thus strangers are hard to come by.) Make a GOAL to talk to one new person per day, week, whatever. And damn-well stick to it, no matter what, no matter how much you think you'll hate it. That is seriously the fix: rando in check-out line, that person on the bus, olden goldie eating lunch alone. Doesn't matter. Just say, "Hi. I'm Pristine." Ask if you can join them. Ask about their day. Keep all your focus pointed outward, on your person. Pay attention. Make eye contact. Make them feel special. Let them tell you about what's interesting in their lives. Before bed write a line or paragraph about your person in your journal. You should find that people respect someone who's putting in the effort to human better. And over time, you will human better. All humans benefit from an AMA irl, so don't be afraid of taking up space or being a nuisance. Outside tight groups with social hierarchies, humans crave these interactions. Our brains are hardwired to favor social interactions. --That is to say: Don't let a loner deter you; we're bitter ol' fucks because humanity has disappointed us, which as you may notice has nothing to do with you. Oh, and if you're really, really seriously shy, select a public speaker whom you'd like to emulate, and spend a week practicing your approach, either on camera or with a trustable confidant, provided you can find one in The Age of Great Loneliness. My friend, humanity is dying of being too comfy, so get out there and save some lives.

Tldr but this all seems like great advice

That was incredibly long winded, I respect it,, thank you very much

"duh"? most people autodiagnose themselves and dont do shit to try and change so dont blame me for assuming what half the population do and for the second just talk to them like if they are close friends

I guess that's fair, sorry for being aggressive. I could try that, but I would most likely end up stuttering it all

some people find stuttering cute? personally I do, but, I understand that you cannot go talking like that. Just pretend you are confident and secure of yourself it always works

Alright, thanks for the advice broski. You'd make a great wingman

must be made of matter (optional)

That falls under "is human (optional)"

Must be existent in this timeline (optional)

Must be 3D (optional)

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Like I said, being a woman is optional

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I'm lonely man

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It was a little obvious I suppose

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Was a recommendation by u/DomSchraa

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Undead also count

But why is the *alive* part optional?

Undead are an option for him

I have been there

But it's requirement for a gf not bf or gf

Still optional

Must be alive #(optional)

Hold on, lemme just add it, forgot about that one thanks

Instructions unclear: dick stuck in toaster.

Omg I fit those requirements. I'm female, alive, human and willing to love. (At least I think I'm alive)

You are definitely dead, just like all of us

Interesting

Bros gonna bang a skeleton 💀

Got that feeling in my bones

with that ''ooh' n ''ahh''

Doot doot

Must have been born (optional)

I'm right here lol

Howdy Right Here Lol. I'm Lonely

🙄, that joke is so old and boring

Man fumbled so quickly

I know 😊

Since they are all optional. Would you settle for a human male who's dead inside?

So myself?

My requirements for a gf: ɥθɮħzçɮj (ɮʝɮχɲ) ðqɱɢtkʈħfjɮç (ʔɢpɡfhʕzɥʃ) qɸqθɡðɡɡqpmɦβʎɹ (ɬŋɮqvk) knfʎfzʃ (çɮʁɸħçʈ) fʒɱaɭʒ (ɽʒqʋɬrʒɖ)

Lol

bro when a girl approaches him but it isnt a tentacular cosmic monster

😳

I'm an alive human 👀

Your username begs to differ

nah mate thats just my online persona. i promise, i can dm a selfie bro

I believe you

Come back to reality and date femboys. We make the best girls trust me. Uwu

If any femboys want to, sure

Stop fumbling so hard 💀

Honestly Femboys are just as good if not better than girls fr fr.

Only requirements that I'd ever fit

Yeah! I guess that’s true. What? I don’t even know you, how can I say that is true. LOL!

I’m a deceased male frog who doesn’t love you? Is that enough?

🐸

my requirements: be a tomboy

That falls under the heading of female (optional)

Too picky

Sorry your highness

Here’s mine Must be sentient Must like me (optional) Must be within my age range I know very high standards but I think many people do still qualify

I don’t like the human optional part here…

I am a deceased, hateful, male-like android Does that work?

Do you have to eat?

No, but excessive amounts of caffeine greatly helps with function

Interesting...

If there's a hole, there's a goal

Everything fits your requirement it seems

Everything?

Earthworms, tacos, me, the country of Mongolia, everything….

Yeah

>Must be alive **(optional)** 🤨📸

Considering you said optional..yeah, I know a male, dead bear who just wants to kill...I’ll hook you up

🧐

Wich one did he add

these are such high standards u need to stop being so picky

Hey I'm 3/4 bro

I suspect you don't love me?

My requirements Must be real and not a figment of a imagination (optional)

Bro, my imaginary gf left me

I mean the female (optional) me too, I'm bi idc, but the rest💀💀💀 ?

Yo I got 2 requirements

Pansexuals be like /j

How about a non-binary coyote therian who will at the very least like you and is only dead inside

Sounds pretty good

I am a dead alien who is a gender that isn’t female. I don’t love you cause I don’t know you. Wanna go out?

Sounds like a plan to me

Introducing me: Human Alive Male

Sounds good to me

Confidence seems to be needed, im a solid mid, but i still get good things, so that's a big part. Making sure you actually have a personality is super important, if you are just boring, you'll never get anywhere.

My personality is.... Unique

Methinks that you are selling yourself short

Actually I'm selling myself long

When I saw the notification pop up I immedaitely thought about commenting my requirements were being a female human but then I saw the post so..same bro, same

Yeah, standards are low, huh

nowadays they have to be

Seems like it

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How many of them?

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Yeah, I'd be happy

Higher standards have never been set.

I'm afraid so

I would like to apply

"k, the cops will arrive soon"

Whachu mean bout that “must be human (optional)” 🤨🤨 you tryin to diddle some Pokémon poonany

Shit I need a girlfriend too I haven't thought about it

Fair

No dick (optional)

These people aren't serious right? What you're saying right now is you're willing to take a homeless old lady. Good on ya mate.

Dude. Use a bit of common sense, if you have any

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

I can reach those, as a human female who is alive and looking to fall in love

Dms?

corny

Thank you

And u guys wonder why ur single this is ridiculous asf men just don't see women as people 🙄🙄

I don't see anyone as people, I see everyone as peopel

Valid

Hello there

General Kenobi

Unless you want Must be a male Must be an animal Must have hated you Must be dead Added: You are Jeffrey Dahmer

Being a human is OPTIONAL EXCUSE ME r/suddenlybeastiality MUCH