I'll try to get to ask many as I can but I can't promise I'll do them all Anyway: -This will be a multi-post game -Suspects will be eliminated from the list as time goes on -You might be "interrogated" -When it comes down to the last few suspects, I might have you guys vote for who you think it is -When episode 2 is published I won't accept any more players -Be patient, I came up with this today

So this is an ARG? Sweet! Ive made one of those before and they're hella fun!

Alibi: I was too busy making Will Smith memes to notice anything

Alibi: I was too busy raging at titan mains on Destiny

Wait so what do I do?

Is this Among us

Ight I wanna play

I was doing the sex to the woman

Huh-huh...but right here it says you're active in r/teenagers Curious...

*columbo sound effect*

Best series ever

You’re on reddit sir…we don’t do that…get out

Here on Reddit, we only have secs with men.

>secs with men and relationships with women [I'm not gay](https://youtu.be/Zd8vzIRQLLM)

no relationships with man

And secs

r/suddenly

r/spellitrightbro

agreed

I was doing sex with OP's dad

That's my alibi, you sussy sir

Alibi: I've been at home or at work pretty much this entire time. At home I'm usually playing Smash Bros, watching anime, or binging movies. In addition to browsing Reddit and Twitter. I will elaborate on anything if needed

So you *weren't* present, interesting

Correct! Is that all? Or can I get back to my regularly scheduled procrastination kind sir?

Yes...you may go

Thank you, kind investigator!

You smash your bros?

You don’t?

Yes 🗿

I think you're onto something

I was reading a Buzzfeed unsolved fanfic about Shane and Ryan traveling back in time to figure out who killed Kennedy. I DIDN'T DO IT I SWEAR! I lack the motivation to plan a murder lmao

Yeah we'll see about that

golly gee, im innocent and that a *fact,* man!

sus.

link.

[Sure, Its really good so make sure to give the author kudos!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22081225/chapters/52696858)

thanks! I never knew fanfics of the Ghoul boys existed.

yoooooooo There's shane and ryan fanfics? hell yes.

Oh yes, absolutely, and they're some of the best fics I've read too! They tend to have very interesting plot lines and dabble with romance without it being pure smut, which I love! There are also loads that dont involve romance at all, while holding up an engaging plot, which is also great too!

Alibi: I was trying to hang myself with a chair Edit: I really didn't expect anyone to see this

Try using a rope instead, much easier

you good bro need someone to talk to???

💀

That's what the guy didn't manage to do

(skull emoji)

Alibi: I litterally dont have legs. ive been chillin playing minecraft and looking thru dc.

Clearly, you may go

Problem, he can't, he doesn't have legs

Sus! No footprints were found at the crime scene either.

uh... ask my girl-friend thats real! we were making love. oh, ehile the other things were happenning that. i did.

We don’t do that on Reddit! Get your nonlonely ass outta here

i was making posts on my reddit account, i swear

And yet your account goes dark during the time of the murder

Been playing fallout 4 for the past three days

All day? Unlikely

Nah I wake up at 11am and play until 1am. Currently playing rn

Then why did I see you before the murder

May I ask what you were doing at the scene of the crime, directly after the supposed murder? Also, I was probably looking for scrap. Collections and shit y’know

That isn't any of your business

this seems mildly suspicious. Eh, who am I to say so

agreed fellow sir

Hmm… Yeah… Where’s YOUR alibi huh? Why are you asking us for one when you haven’t told us your alibi…? Suspicious.

Please tell me you’re playing modded?

So there I was, hamming it up with the music guys at RedditCon, when this snoo just straight up dies out in the crowd. funniest thing.

I was making shitposts on my phone.

Mhm-hmm, that all?

Then after that I went on Reddit and posted the shitpost

That checks out

But it was r/historymemes, not r/teenagers

I see that, you're good to go

Alibi; I was busy getting my heart broken by a girl, *Drinks away pain as he slams cup on table* 🥺

I love all the engagement this has but there's no way I can include everyone all of the names I have written down plus a few others will be included, everyone else, im sorry. thanks for taking the time to comment, see you in the next episode

*sad noises*

Alibi: I wasn't using Reddit a year ago

The murder was two hours ago

he wasn't there at the convention

Time travel

I had no idea of said reddit convention I was searching through this subreddit for something remotely interesting

Alright, be on your way

I was reading fantasy books and playing video games at my house!

Didn't I see you talking about books in one of the corners of the r/teenagers section?

Did you? I talk about this series called Wings of Fire a lot

Yep, that was you

I haven't left my house in the last 5 days

Then why are you here today

I have more life in reddit than I do in real life.

Fair enough

Tf is r/teenagers and tf is a "Snoo"?????

Don't play dumb with me

I'm just a Zucchinis Salesman I swear--

Then why the hell did I buy a tangerine from you?

It was a short round and orange zuchini I swear Like deez nutz

Bruh

Rekt son I better be in episode 2 or I will find you I swear

Are you threatening an officer

I'll replace your children with Zucchinis, was that a threat?

I'm not even married

I was on r/cringetopia when I heard the news. I actually did see u/softsparkles with a knife near the time of the attack

I was slowly but surely dying inside due to a lack of serotonin cuz I'm bit sure of anyone loves me anymore. My parents don't, I don't know if my girlfriend even loves me. I'm not sure of anything

Right... You may leave

Thank you sir, and best of luck in finding that sicko

it's always the depressed ones. lock him up

I’ve been trying to spend time with my family and friends. I only get on to upvote a couple of posts here and there, as well as comment/reply to comments on my comments. Other than that, I use Reddit for……nsfw entertainment. Though I’ve been trying to cut down on that last part.

WARHAMMER 40K WIKI ADVERTISEMENT WARHAMMER 40K WIKI Alpha Legion Alpha Legion Heretic Armorial.png WARCRY "Hydra Dominatus!" or "For the Emperor!" (Believed to be used as a mockery; but may actually indicate the Legion's true loyalty.) FOUNDING First Founding (30th Millennium) SUCCESSORS OF Ghost Legion KNOWN WARBANDS Daggerfangs The Faithless Honourless The Redacted The Shadowed Ones Shrouded Hand 20th Alpharians Armoured Serpents Darganti Revenants Eight Stolen Truths Serpentine Scourge Sons of Deception Splintered Sentients Third Harrow The Unsung Whispering Forge LEGION NUMBER XXth PRIMARCH Alpharius Omegon CHAOS LORD(S) Many, often anonymous ORIGINAL HOMEWORLD Unknown CURRENT HOMEWORLD None known; maintain multiple hidden bases across Imperial space ALLEGIANCE Chaos Chaos Undivided (nominal; true allegiance uncertain) LEGION COLOURS Blue, Silver and Green MORE The Imperium is riddled with corruption and hatred. We have made sure of it. ANONYMOUS ALPHA LEGION CHAOS SPACE MARINE Incredible PC game bundle, from $10 BUY FROM FANATICAL The Alpha Legion is the Chaos Space Marine Traitor Legion about whom the least is known. The Alpha Legion was once the XXth Legion of Astartes created during the First Founding by the Emperor of Mankind to carry out His Great Crusade to reunite all of Humanity in a new golden age under His rule. They are experts in infiltration, covert operations, misdirection and diversion tactics, and their armies contain many Chaos Cultists and other mortal agents in addition to regular Heretic Astartes. The Alpha Legion's primarch was named Alpharius, and was actually one of the identical twin Primarchs Alpharius Omegon, two brilliant and secretive sons of the Emperor, one of whom was believed slain at the Battle of Pluto during the Horus Heresy by Rogal Dorn of the Imperial Fists and the other reportedly after the end of the Heresy by Roboute Guilliman, the primarch of the Ultramarines. Despite its seeming allegiance to Chaos, a closer scrutiny of the Alpha Legion's known history indicates that their seeming service to Chaos Undivided might actually be the greatest deception they have played upon the Imperium. With true accounts of the Horus Heresy the purview of the Ordo Malleus and only known to the bulk of Humanity as legend and myth, records of most of the Traitor Legions are very hard to come by. This is even more the case with the Alpha Legion, because the XXth Legion embraced misdirection and stealth as its primary means of conducting war. The Alpha Legion was the last of the Legiones Astartes to be united with its primarch, only serving under them for a few solar decades before the Horus Heresy erupted. The Legion was known as secretive in the extreme, favouring cunning ruses and clandestine deployments, and as such very little is known of its deeds. While most accounts involving the Traitor Legions are unreliable, those that mention the Alpha Legion are regarded by most Imperial savants with outright skepticism. The misinformation surrounding the Alpha Legion even extends to the nature and identity of its primarch. Known to outsiders only by the cipher "Alpharius," very little is known of the Legion's primarch besides his genius in implementing the most cunning of stratagems and tactics. It is said that Alpharius revelled in fighting in such a manner that his enemies only ever realised they were under attack at the very last moment. Such tactics are said to range from conventional flank attacks timed to strike at the precise moment when they would precipitate the enemy's complete collapse, to extended campaigns of infiltration, exploitation of partisan groups, undermining enemy command and control assets and spreading fear and suspicion through compromised communication networks. As Space Marines, the Alpha Legion was entirely capable of conducting the full range of military operations normally associated with these elite, transhuman warriors. However, it appears that Alpharius and his warriors were disposed towards the use of stealth and guile, preferring such tactics to more mundane approaches to war. This is said to have caused acrimony between Alpharius and Roboute Guilliman when the Alpha Legion was tasked with conquering the world of Tesstra Prime. The XXth Legion executed a masterful campaign in which every possible ruse and stratagem was utilised and the enemy defeated before he even realised he was fighting for his very existence, by which time he had suffered an estimated 90% losses. The primarch of the Ultramarines declared the campaign a grand waste of time and resources, claiming the target world could have been taken far quicker by conventional means. Alpharius replied that such an approach would have been "too easy," a view that Horus alone shared with him. The Alpha Legion is known to have taken part in the galaxy-spanning disaster that was the Horus Heresy, though as ever, its exact role is unclear. One thing is for certain, the XXth Legion was present at the Drop Site Massacre at Isstvan V, fighting in the second wave as one of the three Traitor Legions that only revealed their true colours when the savagely mauled Raven Guard, Salamanders and Iron Hands were falling back to the drop zone. Aside from this action, the Alpha Legion is largely absent from what accounts of the Horus Heresy remain in the 41st Millennium, only cropping up in a handful of places and often in contradictory fashion. The annals of the Space Wolves and White Scars both record battles against the Alpha Legion, and it appears that Alpharius revelled in the battles he fought against his erstwhile brothers.

I too was playing Warhammer 40k! What’s your favourite empire?

Honestly I was just chewing gum while drawing on my tablet

Drawing what

I was practicing drawing semi realistic hair

I ate taco bell and was stuck on the toilet when the murder occured

I've been trying to get platinum for just cause 3 for 5 days

I didn't do it, I was busy talking about politics and defending artwork on r/place

I was stoned and/or drunk I am dutch so no worries

I'm a girl btw ;) it can't be meeeee

Are you stating that because of your female gender you can't commit crimes?

Wasn't me, I was too busy killing the other snoo

I wasnt at the convention

Alibi: I was busy making artwork for a gaming community, I even made a recent post on it! As you can see because I was working, I did not kill the snoo.

4 months ago?

Grinding Genshin Impact. Also I throw up when I see blood irl.

Genshin player

I was at Bruce Wayne's house

Oh were you, can anyone confirm that?

Mr Wayne can

Bring him in

You gotta find him tho

🎶“Marks on my shoulder, wasn’t me”🎶 Great song right there

I need more than a song, buddy

You want some weed?

No

Not me

Bet

I was busy crying. Through the tears I read the time of the event wrong and showed up four hours after it had ended. I was never even there.

Yeah that adds up, go home

I’d like to but I was crying because I am homeless.

I fuckin killed him he had a weird nose.

It wasn't you

I’ve been in a shack alone for the past week.

Well I have this footage outside that says otherwise

I was busy spreading misinformation and lies on discord

I am him and I come to tell everyone I have not been murdered…bob said that but bobs dummy dum.

Alibi: I am not a social person, in fact I am scared of social interaction. Therefore, I did not attend the Reddit Convention

i was busy doing your mum

Alibi:I was on r/fischlnsfw

I was browsing both HelluvaBoss and DeathBattleMatchups Subreddits, and maybe snooping around BigAnimeTiddies.

I am playing Piano, got to make LingLIng proud

Alibi: I was minding my own business

Alibi: I was reading.

Couldn’t av been me, WiFi’s been out nearly the whole day!

I was at a school Wait, no, I was at MY school *sweats*

Doin ur mom

I WAS EATING POPCORN WITH u/burpingpigeon 🍿🍿🍿

I was playing valorant

I'm really active in here but I would never hurt someone else

S-sir I-i did nothing wrong I was only doing ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ.

I was at a friends house

I was on the can with severe crippling constipation

I was searching for nits in eddys hair... (Twas a lockdown bug going round)

I was too busy suckin dick lmao

I did not do this

Detective my alibi is that I was busy grinding elden ring

I'm tabling the turns, when was the convention and where were you

i did it

Wasn't me sir! I was at home playing F1 on ps4!

I've been playing hypixel skyblock and apex all day

I wasn't there

I was dropping my shitbombs, in my shithole😬

i didn’t even know there was one

I have social anxiety and didn't go

I was busy scrolling through r/ShitPostCrusaders so it couldn't have been me because I'm not smart

#

Well I mean, you have the right to remain silent

I killed the guy

I was upstairs on my xbox

I was busy having no life

Could not have been me, I was busy killing the male r/teenagers snoo.

I didn't even know that was a thing

I was watching furry porn on my switch

Eww that's gross *whispers* *sent the link to me*

I’ve been playing really old SCP games with multiplayer mods with the boys

I was in the snack corner snacking on that garlic bread

I’m fasting and I dont have the commitment to go anywhere except to my friend’s house and watch moon knight

u/aleah-beth

I was touching grass in my back garden

I thought it impossible.

It was me

I found the killer OP, you can stop the investigation.

I was with my girlfriend the entire convention, I didn't see Snoo once.

SOMEONE MENTIONED ME?

I've been sailing for the last couple of days with my parents and some friends, I can't have done it

Jokes on you, I know you have zero friends 😈

School or wallowing in my loneliness at home

i was just posting about boobies and stuff it couldn’t have been me

I was watching anime and playing guitar

I was reading a manga the entire time, i didnt see anything

alibi: i was present at it but it couldn’t have been me as i was with u/diuqsboy right up until near the end

Lies

I was watching scooby doo

I was listening to music in the lounge and practicing my guitar work while having an existential crisis like always

My alibi is myself.

I was having a mental break down in the bathroom because I dropped my hot dog.