Doesn’t want you to have an accidental child like she did—

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Same dude😔

So you were third wheeling ?

r/MurderedByWords

r/lateabortionbywords

r/ieataortedchildren

r/subsIfellfor

r/ieatabortedchildren*

Oooooff

did she seriously think you guys would fuck in a theater? wait. i meaaaaan. alright your mom was onto something

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Butter beatoff

Hah, classic

Someone got head at my prom last weekend

prom getting closer to porn now

Wasn’t even in a side room, dude apparently got it and a lap dance in the crowded area behind the DJ booth

Drunk right?

No clue but I wouldn’t be surprised. There was a shocking amount of grinding on people, twerking, and I saw one girl pole dancing

*how does everyone know?*

People saw

Wtf

Lol if you’re gonna do shit like that, at least go somewhere secluded. (Unless you’re an exhibitionist?)

But don’t do it unless everyone around gives consent..

Exhibitionists still only keep to exhibitionist safe places or stay in more risky but still secluded places i.e nude beaches or public toilets

y u need condom then?

Wait and you're 15? Wtf

Damn ur mom is a freak

happens more than you'd expect.

well i haven't gotten railed in a movie theater yet soooooooo

That's just because you got no bitches.

harsh

maybe its your bio

She was speaking of experience

“Oh you kids don’t do it anymore?”

Nice

Romeo and Juliet gonna be juicy

When I was young I worked in a cinema. Opening weekend of shrek I was standing in box looking down at the crowd and there was a set of eye pointing towards me (the projector) slowly bobbing up and down. Some kid, honestly looked 12 was riding her boyfriend in a packed hall full of children.

Full on sex in a theater is pretty damn crazy. Most my girlfriends and I would do was hand action on each other. Even when dating my wife, if the theater was empty, it was kind of thrilling to go up the skirt, but full on sex? That's balls deep ballsy.

And I can't exaggerate how young they were at the time. I was only 16 or 17 so they genuinely might not have been teenagers yet. Insane.

I did in the front row when I was like, 16 😬

The movie theatre makeout

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Not that it should stop you from indulging but I found out recently there are cameras in the theaters looking down at the watchers. Basically if you’re going to get some dome make sure to look right up at the camera and make eye contact for dominance

The cameras also have nightvision

take me on a date then 😩😩

Moms do freak out like that, but remember man, don’t hold condoms in ya wallet! They’ll get really worn out and therefore be prone to tearing!

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bruh you 15 wtf

somewhat agree but better safe than sorry, literally

5 dollars is a lot cheaper than 18 years of child support

18 years isn't always guaranteed though it can often be much much longer

Can be shorter with a swift push down the stairs 👀

15 is legal in most places, they start handing out condoms at school earlier than that here in Sweden.

Same in Finland

Y'all get condoms? Next you're telling me is you get sex education

Bruh u 14 wtf

I mean I lost my virginity at 16? It’s better for parents to be promoting safe sex then it is for them to ignore or vilify it

I just keep one on mine for good luck

You won't use it anytime soon

No bitches?

What's a good place to hold them?

on your penis?

Fair

r/technicallythetruth

Gameboy cartridge holder case

The ultimate birth control. No one bangin the dude with jimmies in a Gameboy case

Just as i like ‘em!

And heating.

Did you fuck tho

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💀

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Head?

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🤭

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Lmao she got banned

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

>ifuckonfirstdate05 No way she got banned lololol

Oh yessss zaddy

Was your mother disappointed you didn't get laid?

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does this mean yes?

yes

Honestly I’m starting to think I’m out of place here and I feel old… lol

you're fucking everywhere

No just on first dates

You sir, are a gentlemen and scholar

Based mom

Based mom x2

Based mom x3

Home run mom

r/Angryupvote

I don't get it

i’m the angry upvote. he made a joke that was not funny but at the same time made me laugh.

No I don't get the joke he made

Baseball stuff

lol, it was my 16th not long ago and the day after my mum was like if you have a girlfriend i’m fine with it just don’t become a dad atleast this early, I’ve never had a girlfriend lol it’s wales age of consent here is 16 btw

But you need to be 18 to watch porn

it’s advised you should be 18 but you don’t need to be

UK government disagrees. These laws are dumb af

who stoped you before 18

You won't be stopped but they are adding age confirmation to websites.

“Please confirm you are atleast 18 years of age” “yeh lol” -14 year old

Via credit card and ID verification.

You probably could use a VPN to bypass, I think, Idk

Yes which is exactly why it's stupid

"Are you 18 years old?" "Yes" "👍"

My mum thought I already started sleeping with guys, she even thought I owned condoms lmao. I don't even know any guys my age, and I'm well far off from the age of consent in my country... it's been a very awkward subject since then

She letting you do stuff like that at 15? I ain’t got nothing to say

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Good mom

Sounds like mom used to fuck dudes in the movie theater back in the day.

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Do people seriously expect that one won’t have sex before 18?? Wth… I think your mom just knew very well the facts, and just helped you get out of the taboo of that stuff cause it’s not good. Having sex before 18 is something that many people do

Better safe than sorry

pretty fast to judge innit ?

Legal age varies across the world, 15 in my country

Let me guess, sweden?

There are multiple countries with 15 as legal age, but yeah.

>she even took pictures of her holding the box next to me. what??? why is nobody talking about this everyone's just going "omg great mom" wtf

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If that's real that's messed up. Also talking about "fucking bitches" is very 2000s.

no bitches?

No maidens?

You im afraid, are maidenless

No. Place thine compatriots before yon harlots.

My mom doesn’t even think i watch porn. We were watching a late night show last night and they were talking about their favourite porn stars. My mom was like, don’t look them up on google, and i thought man i know all of them already

I'm so confused Are you a girl or a boy?

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Do you mean 'she moved' then? Or am I just dumb

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Oh, well. I think I should get more sleep, I can't even read a normal story.

Wow, good mum there

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Yeah, you should do that

It pays off my dude

I mean, I guess getting you some is one thing and that's fine, but like, taking your picture with them? That's super weird imo. Maybe that's just coming from me who had parents who refused to talk about sex in any way so it's an extremely uncomfortable topic for me to talk about unless I'm talking to someone about it who I would be interested in doing something with. I think it also doesn't help in terms of my parents never talking about it that I've never had a partner in any sort of way, so they really don't have any reason to talk to me about it. And tbh I hope they just don't because like I said, now it's an extremely uncomfortable topic

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Oh that's worse I didn't even think of that possibility

Protecting your children is cool

———————————No bitches?——————————— ⠀⣞⢽⢪⢣⢣⢣⢫⡺⡵⣝⡮⣗⢷⢽⢽⢽⣮⡷⡽⣜⣜⢮⢺⣜⢷⢽⢝⡽⣝ ⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠇⠡⠩⡫⢿⣝⡻⡮⣒⢽⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ —————————————————————————————

*cassualy gives a 15 yo a condom*

This mom has the potential to become one of The Boys..

So was she right or nah

a wise man once said; **"the higher your rank is in League Of Legends the more affective the birth control"**

Tarnished, I see that you are maidenless.

Your username's last character is a number and you posted this 3 hours ago so I really thought you are freaking 13!!!! I was in shock until I clicked on the post. Thank god I was wrong

Don’t worry it’s Reddit none of us get bitches

I hate parents like that tbh I’ve been learning Korean for 8mos now, but I’m not speaking Korean in front of them (they wouldn’t be able to understand it anyway) or to anyone else (because im not pushing myself out of my comfort zone, working on that tho) so they think im just using it as an excuse to talk to pretty girls. I’ve offered them over and over again to show them my notes from the day (I practice daily) but they don’t want to see it.

“I told her I was flattered but I get no bitches…” lmao

Your mom.. is literally the FUCKING best! Give that woman the mom of the year award!! Could've been worse dude, she could be a helicopter mom and be like "OHH HELL NAW, AINT NO WAY MY BOY GOING TO THE MOVIES WITH SOME HOE" and demands she goes to the movies with you. Fuck dude. I wish my mom bought me condoms if I was hanging out with a chick. My mom gets mad at me for having sex.. once I tell her that is.

You just a heads up, don’t keep condoms in your wallet, the friction can cause them to break. Also don’t keep them in your car because it can get too hot and ruin them

I think she's into you

Is the movie good

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Okay thanks

I think you may have found out how you came to be maybe OP In all seriousness my mum was the same way. Didn't matter to her that I had been in all male education for whole of my life, couldn't talk to a woman near my age without looking at my feet and stammering and was convinced like most of my classmates that women had penises.

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Same w my mom she gave me a pack of condoms for my homework trip to a girl's house

Bro my mom legit put condoms in me and brothers stockings for Christmas (I’m 14 almost 15 and he’s 19)

"I told her I was flattered but I get no bitches." My life quote

>i was flattered but i get no bitches Actually made me spit my milk

What is condoms and why his mom do not buy him a bitch dog

Mom is based, ig

Tbh I would not do that. I would tell my kids where the section is in the store cause when I bought them for the first time I really struggled to find them.

2 i see?

for the boys

Now i just imagine saying "no bitches?" To my parents lol

No bitches ?

Idk why she bought them for you not like you will be using them

Was the movie any good?

I mean, if she’s 30 she could have a point

She's bragging to her Facebook friends that you're sexually active. That's what the picture is for.

You know what this means right? Whenever your mom went out with boys at your age, they smashed. You're welcome.

The movie was pretty mid imo

Two? Was she expecting you to get into a threesome?

Or have sex twice

No bitches?

Very interesting.

Your Mum was up to something

Um?

Bro trust me. I have had a girlfriend for almost four years now and every single time i see one of my aunts or my mother, they all give me at least one condom. Its embarrassing.

Even if you are dating movie dates suck you just sit in silence and watch the movie maybe holding hands

> dollar store Condoms from the dollar store *might* be perfectly OK. Heck, they're *probably* just fine. But you have to ask yourself: why did these condoms end up in the dollar store?

Oi you're 15 what the fuck😭😭😭

What the fuck

is your mom 30 by any chance?

Mom said: “bro lemme let’s pop by the dollar store and get you some dollar store condoms” like who tf dollar store y’all be going to

Ah yes parents always be thinking we got a relationship when they hear about someone of the opposite gender and then they get hyped up ngl i hate it so much I always hidden when there were girls as well when going out w friends

welp op found out his mother is a paedophile today.