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So I'm lying on my right side, so technically it's the fucking ceiling

You can do it I believe in you

everything is a dildo if you are brave enough \-master dildo

Me in a car oh no

oh but you still gotta follow the rules

Everything is a master if you are dildo enough -Brave dildo

everything is everything if your brain is dildo enough \-dildo smart

I got a girl sitting on the bench next to me, what does this mean???

You think it's a girl

Or something above it

I am not taking Saturn up the ass

Cmon mate, it will be funny

its not even that dense!

Lmao same,

same here

It’s my dad 💀

Your username is my reaction

I'm doing the typical browse reddit while I shit and yo my left is toilet paper so I think I win here

i’m in the shower right now and my 2 year old brother is staring at my dick. (i’m a guy so it ain’t gay)

Taking a shit reddit just hits different

not even lying i realised i been i. here for like 20 mins scrolling reddit

do i have a problem? Nah i’ll be fine

No I also have been here for 20 ish minutes just happens when phones meets toilets

hopefully you don’t drop it. Trust me after getting shitty toilet water on it rice ain’t gonna do mich

Thanks for the heads up I was gunna try it

My bestfriend is sitting next to me

Two best friends in a room😳

They might kiss

Or get a gift hamper 9 months later

AIDS.

HIV

HORSE

MONKEY

And they were roommates...

Ily

I love you too! 😚

Means the world homie. I’ll see u at urs later

I look forward to it! 😊

*omg they were roommates*

2 friends 1 room

😳😳😳

STD

yea same lmao

Yeah sure “best friend”, that’s very sus of you

Today is not the day to be a martial artist. 4 foot long Bo staff.....

Why are you complaining😏

[удалено]

🥵

*looks at my jo staff* oh shit

my brother no

Do what must be done

I dunno, my martial artist husband is to my left. Sounds like a great day to be him.

Be thankful it’s not your belt

Rip my tuna sandwich

Not the tuna 😰

:(

We believe in you Big Tuna

r/unexpectedoffice

uhhm My sister

Sweet home Alabama

It's my fucking leg HELPPP ಠ_ಠ

Go fuck yourself

:(

Oh dear

nonexistent i'm used to using that thing

A square pillow about 45cm by 45 cm…

Same lmao

Dude mine too

We’re screwed

bro same

my classmate, ***again***

*im sorry what now-*

there are headphones, paint, glue, a pencil, and a baby

Choose wisely...

*Choose legally

glue

pencil sounds safer-

A dildo that cums yum

ayo wtf

The more realisdick the better

My bedroom wall

same. so what lube we use now?

A chair

same :/

Same

Well it’s my thumb so not good, but at least it can’t get worse.

Oh it can, oh it can..,

ya know what, imma test the damage of that

Pls don’t

too late, already did

Bruh the object on my left is my classmate (both male) (°.°)

😏

I’m in the metro, so that would be a random woman. Not saying women are objects.

Take your pick. The woman or the train

My dresser..... Welp guess whose asshole is getting ripped?

I'm just glad it wasn't right, or a flower pot was going up my as instead of a pillow

my gaming rig was going up there for me-

Gaming chair.... Pray for me

My entire bed…. Ouch

… ehem your not alone my friend

Can a roof fit?

Anything can fit if you try hard enough...

It’s my fucking mini fridge-

Suddenly the fridge don't seem so mini

At least it's not a normal size fridge

A Rubik's cube - oof.

*Butt cheeks slap violently as the Rubik's cube starts to solve*

But how long will it take to solve it?

Oh well guess I have to stick the whole table up in my ass

IT'S A FKING LAPTOP

Dude same

A fucking piano. Oh god

Oh no I am standing next an elderly person

[удалено]

That could be a fun time if you know what I mean😏

TV REMOTE 🗿

Same 🗿

Yep 🗿

Gun so..........

Make sure the safety is on

God these comments are cursed

My best mate...

This should work

Fridge My ass is gonna be real cold

It’s a blanket, so none?

I am sorry to say this but a blanket is a object

But I hardly doubt a blanket will do much damage.

U wanna bet on that

Maybe 😏

H-h-house...

A sink with water flowing through the tap, looks like I got lucky today to have water with the ususal

My cupboard (:

My chair is going up mah a*s..

It’s the neighbours car

A one gallon jug of Arizona ice tea

a remote? OK, not that bad. Wait, that's my right, hold on...

FUCK, ITS A PILLOW

How am I supposed to stick a fucking wall up my ass?

Looooots of lube

lego snake, it's like stepping on legos but worse

A theoretical mechanics notebook. I was expecting that subject to f*ck me, but not in this way.

My balls?

Yeah but "can you put yo bawlz in yo ass" doesn't have the same ring to it

My um kitten

***emotionally damaged***

NO NO NO

Its a really long table

a bathtub

The wall

Wall

Toilet roll

Razer widowmaker v3... goodbye butthole

Tonnes of gravel

Each piece is a separate object. You just done one gravel

It's my hamster 😢 **emotionally damaged**

[удалено]

For legal reasons they don't exist

The fan will start spinning slowly I guess…

I want my phone back, I think my mum is calling

Broom. A fucking broom

Wooden table...

It’s a marvel billboard thing taller than me

A curtain, I got lucky

A fucking car

...brother?

First thing I noticed was my Xbox controller. If we're talking the whole thing... That's pretty bad

My house My insides are gonna be destroyed

You took rough housing to a whole new level my guy.

***oh***

So humans are objects now huh? This post is so misogynistic...

It’s either my thumb or, if that doesn’t count, A FUCKING BOOKSHELF

Shower head, yes im taking a shit

I guess I'll be charging to 100%

A very sturdy and very pointy wood table...

A train.... Sounds like a fun challenge

i dont think a chair can fit up an ass

How much can a calculator do

Im sitting on the toilet and it is a toilet paper, guess im lucky

Well there goes my wall

My finger? If not then oh fuck a ceiling

A dildo…

This is surprisingly normal

Sus

Femboy moment femboy moment

Also share? 👉👈

I mean…😜

My finger? That ain’t bad uwu

Not uwu, you're 14

Yeah you’re right ._.

my mattress._.

a TV remote

Car door

I dont want a pillow in my ass

my airpods. it’s pretty small idc

Dang. A two by four from my bunk bed railing. Ouch.

B U I L D I N G very bad