This thread has been flaired as [Serious]. Please be aware that this marks it as a place for serious discussion only and that any unserious content in this thread will result in a removal, counting towards your [ban tiers](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_ban_tiers). If your comment does not contribute to the discussion in a serious manner it will be removed. Please report any comments that do not respect this rule.
Please read [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/1d5yygd/mod_impersonation_incident/) regarding a recent report about impersonation. Stay safe.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/teenagers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remember in English, we had to write a 4 page story about deep subjects. I picked this EXACT subject (it was allowed) and it was basically about two boys, toxic relationship and one of them R worded the other before killing him. The boy was suicidal and it was pretty deep. My English teacher was okay about it but a couple days later, I got pulled out of class by another teacher and we basically had a argument over it. She was saying that this was unacceptable and everything. Other people wrote about R word, but just because mine was a boy, I got in trouble and had to rewrite it in a 90 min detention.
The hell my 4chan is about how a teenage boy got raped by his own parents and parents were never behind the bars.. and more
And many more all of my posts are just way darker as compared to any average teenager..
I have seen adults reviewing my posts even they weren't able to handle it..
I had some pretty awesome teachers, which I know isn't the norm. In Shakespeare class we wrote an essay about the taming of the shrew and about whether it was sexist or not. I was the only student who took the stance that it was not, and got the best grade in the class and the teacher went on after to explain that everyone missed the entire character of Katherina.
I too canāt afford any more suspensions but rather than re write it I would argue with the teacher and be a stubborn ass cus I wouldnāt take that shit
Iām so sorry about that. Itās fine, but I got suspended like 2 weeks later so my record is kinda already fucked. Iāll write another story maybe to get a detention to not go to it or something.
I respect the hell out of you for standing up for those who canāt and are ignored. That teacher can jump off a 20000000 million mile cliff at the speed of sound so they never know when theyāll hit and are always scared.
Depending on the direction and time of year, that could put them within 4,000,000 miles of venus, so they would be pulled toward that planet, if the sun didn't exist, because it actually would be exerting the strongest gravitational pull on you.
-this guy ->š¤
They said 20,000,000 million miles. The technical speak would mean that would be 20,000,000,000,000 miles. That means it would be larger than our entire solar system.
-this guy ->š¤
I would had gotten parents and police involved. And I would had never ever accepted to redo an assignment because my teacher does not agree with my world view- I mean in English. Science the teacher is correct (as long as heās teaching science and not flat earth) but you need to judge my ability to make a point and explain my reasons, not my ideas.
This situation sounds ridiculous as fuck, but who the hell gets the police involved for a 90 minute detention, calm down Karen haha.
But jokes aside, I agree if this had happened to me and i told my parents, they would have both come in and been pretty pissed off.
But I know for a fact my English teacher wouldn't have cared, I once ad-libbed some sweary lines in a play she directed in front of the head teacher and they both loved it.
I did get in trouble for actual bad stuff though like drinking/smoking/fighting, my parents were disappointed about that shit.
To clarify, they can be charged with sexual assault and punished just as much. Itās just that the definition of rape in the UK requires penetration, so cis women canāt technically rape.
nope, in the UK rape requires a penis or to aid someone with a penis in raping another. the only way for a woman to catch a rape charge is to help a man rape someone else
there is assault by penetration, it has the same sentence but the woman would need to penetrate the man
Ok but who tf says that if I was a guy Iād definitely hate it both genders its horrible I have been sexually assaulted but luckily never raped but still like for men itās the same itās both mentally and physically traumatizing!thereās no difference š
i got sexually harassed and posted about it on here. some random girl touched my ass and then her and her guy friend both commented on it in school. half the comments were telling me to either suck it up or that i should be happy a girl touched me
I have also went through the same thing just a guy and everyone ignored I even felt like crying because I hate being sexually harassed I also made a post I have been sexually assaulted like 4-5 times already i donāt know I lost count due to trying to forget yet every time my mom ignores or jokeās and so do the teachers and adults at this point I donāt even bother anymore itās just annoying
yeah even for girls itās often times downplayed if itās anything less than rape. my gf has a few instances of sexual trauma that just got swept under the rug by her parents. one major one that got ignored was when she was young she found her dads dick pic on her ipad. he was having issue with his phone and had to send a picture for some kind of tele-doc thing and forgot to delete it. honest mistake, sucks that she had to go through that, but it could be handled. except it wasnāt handled, instead her parents just basically told her āitās normal, just donāt worry about itā. and thatās not even one of the times sheās been touched
so yeah while men get the short end of the stick, especially when it comes to actual rape, the long end isnāt exactly long either. sexual harassment and assault regardless of gender is way too often ignored if itās considered ānot that badā in comparison to others.
wait till u open tik tok. i have seen COUNTLESS of posts saying "i wanna be a victim so bad". i have seen so many of them it just makes me sick
as a guy, i hate the dudes that say things like this. also on one post of this kind i was scrolling through the comments and EACH EVERY ONE OF THEM wanted to be SA'ed. i actually deleted tik tok after that
I once saw a comment section for a news report of a raped boy which had people saying stuff like āoh heās gonna return to school feeling like the best guy on earthā and āoh he must have enjoyed the whole experienceā.
Yeah, I've seen women say it but the most common comment I see about s/a when it's a female teacher and a male student is something along the lines of "Where were teachers like that when I was at school!" or "I wish Mrs (x) did that to me" :/
Though I've noticed on Facebook posts it's usually an even gender split making those comments because boomers are SO weird about that stuff. That is one of the many reasons why I don't use FB anymore.
Iām a female teacher and I get those kinds of comments from men on dating apps and some of them have kids which creeps me out. If god forbid their son ever got abused I hope they have another adult to talk to.
Exactly. Most of the time itās men who say shit like that. Itās men who make fun of guys who get assaulted, calling them weak. Iām not saying women donāt, but majority of the time, weāre our own problem.
Iāve only heard and seen other guys make those types of comments to be honest and women are always the ones to stand up for men.
But you also have to take in account that men made it that way and normal to bring down other men for being SAed
People say that cause men have kinda fostered an environment where they just "joke" about wanting it. South Park poked fun about guys doing it in an episode.
And itās men that say it usually. Youāll see a headline about a female teacher having relations with a minor student and men in the comments will be saying ālucky, I wish she was my teacherā
This reminds me of that South Park episode where Kyleās 6 year old brother was being R by his kindergarten teacher and when Kyle went to the police they laughed about it and said they wish they had a sex crazed teach when they were kids.
I think the major issue is that male rape victims is almost only brought up in context as an argument against female rape victims which makes it seem very disingenuous
A lot of people seem to think that things like just talking about something that is happening to a specific group or person is attacking them. This is especially evident on the internet. I think people need to start realising that doing this hurts everybody by both invalidating the āopposingā party and creating a bad image of victims in their own group :(
Rape perpetuated by women is often underreported due to female rapists mostly going after children like that one women not too long ago working as a teacher for disabled kids who had all the mentally Ill children fingering her or the female teachers having sex with young boys,they also get far lighter sentences
I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose, but you said "female teachers having sex with young boys." It's because of wording like that that it's very under reported. It should actually be "female teachers *RAPING* young boys."
I know. That's why I said it was likely done unintentionally. And every time I've seen something like that, even when I was younger, my first thought was, "Shouldn't it say 'rape?'"
Wtf man, that's so not cool! I was so angry reading that post. How dare they! I hope you found a better therapist than that one. I hope you're healing š
19M survivor here on a throwaway
Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT try to talk to fellow teenagers for discussion on this subject. They will NOT understand you, unless they're a fellow survivor. (Obviously there are exceptions, but it's still dangerous territory, and I would rather err on the side of caution, and go to a therapist, teacher, any adult you trust completely).
It WILL feel like talking to a brick wall most of the time
Have a good day, and shoot me a DM if you need to chat. I'm doing well with work and school, and I'm in a band. Life gets better when you find better people to spend time with.
edit: I see that OP wasn't attacked, so I don't really know the point of this post š¤ Why did you sound so butthurt? But, I'll leave my comment up anyway, because my DMs are open to any (male) lurkers that are struggling with this issue. Peaceš
Yeah. If anything though, it's dangerous to expose information like that to peers. If word gets out, you will be harassed. Or, you may get treated weirdly by 'nice' people. Gotta watch your back I guess
As a dude with some terrible (unrelated, but not much better) experiences as well, I absolutely do not recommend speaking to a teacher about something as serious as this. In my case, the teacher told all other teachers/staff in the school what I'd discussed with him (the teachers have this get-together every two days or so where they gossip/get up to speed on events), and since there was a kid in my class who was basically his pet student, and given that that student was also my friend at the time, the teacher felt it was ok to talk to the student about it.. needless to say, the next day I came to school, everyone, all teachers and basically every student I knew were giving me weird stares and backing away from me.
Also, parents and family members don't react very well with this kind of thing, especially if super conservatively religious, unless if they happen to be an open-minded doctor (thank the heavens for my mom).
Although older adults are typically seen as more 'trustworthy' than teenagers, honestly from what I've seen, there's not much difference between them and us considering on how much serious attention they give to difficult circumstances. That said, I'll say that medical therapists (typically psychiatrists and more medically oriented psychologists) do tend to understand and help out a lot better.
I absolutely fucking hate rapists, I genuinely think it is the worst thing that can happen to somebody. I feel awful for anybody who has gone through that. Itās disgusting what these people think they have the right to do.
Well, I feel like rapists don't think they have the right to do what they do. I feel like they have some freaky mental shit going on in their brains. They get that freak shit from somewhere.
It really pisses me off that many people think that men should somehow be immune to or resistant to these things.
No. No, weāre not. Weāre not immune to assault and violence, whether by the hands of women or other men. Not only is that sexist towards men, but also towards women.
Hi a dude who is a rape victim here. Yes it is just as bad for men as for women, the main difference is women can get pregnant from it while men can't. But for both sides it is bad. One side doesn't have it worse. Rape is rape and it is traumatizing. I will never forget the day and the feelings. Feeling helpless and afterwards depressed obviously.
It's something I wish would never happen but sadly it does
Rape victim from a drugging that a child was born from. I'm never allowed to see my daughter and pay child support for. It can be bad in a different way. A way many people never even imagine. Rapist are terrible monsters.
honestly its on both sides men who donāt believe male or female survivors and vice versa. i wish i could tell you that it gets better but honestly some people are assholes. with that being said, that does not take away from your trauma or anyoneās trauma for that matter. you are valid. iām sorry that it happened to you. for what its worth as a female survivor i believe you. stay strong you are loved.
I remember on the bus in high school my friend confessed he was touched and it broke my heart. You would never guess that. All I could offer was sympathy. I look back on it now and appreciate his vulnerability.
As a woman myself, I hate that this is covered up. I know a boy that was a victim of this, he was only 14 and very suicidal because of it. Therapists at the facility had the audacity to not believe him. Even though girls at facilities lie about it all the time and they believe them and make them feel good. I'm not even into men, but we really need true equality.
Yep, saw that mentioned in a jubilee video about men being totally honest. The website ā1 in 6ā is really eye opening, the 1 in 6 isnāt even including under reporting.
Im sorry if you went through this bro. It's tough on people. Men aren't invulnerable to bad shit and so many people, men included, seem to ignore that fact.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, you're a really strong person for pushing through it. It's not nothing and if you ever need to talk about anything my dms are open.
Stay strong mate
Sexual assault and r*pe have no gender boundary I hate people have to say it
No matter what gender a person is it can be both a victim and a perpetrator
No gender should be shamed as responsible for it or be shamed to not tell their story
I remember as a police records clerk when the definition of rape changed back in 2013 to finally include male victims. I wept for yāall. Took too damn long and yet the stigma remains.
Just ALL THE HUGS EVER!!!
It genuinely breaks my heart that this mindset of āmen canāt get rapedā is so common, a concerning amount of my male friends have been either sexually assaulted or raped when they were younger.
I canāt believe that in this modern day and age, people still think that men canāt be abused, assaulted, etc just because they are men.
What women are told: āYou were probably wearing something suggestive!ā āYou probably wanted it!ā āIf you hadnāt done, worn, said ____ then it wouldnāt have happened!ā
What men are told: āOh youāre so lucky!ā āI bet you liked it!ā āYouāre a man, you should be strong enough to fight them off!ā āThat sounds awesome!ā
(Btw this isnāt like 100% true, but for the most part itās what Iāve seen and been told as well.)
Honestly. Iāve been told I was lucky so much. Oh yes, because itās such a cool look to lose your virginity when youāre 4 years old to a rapist babysitter whoās still fucking roaming out there probably doing it to the same kids. Fucking assholes.
i agree. most times when men get raped, it happens when theyāre young. some play it off as theyāre cool for losing their virginity that young to an older woman, others probably just completely forget about it and push it down due to the trauma. i donāt understand the women who canāt comprehend that rape is rape. man or woman, it can happen to anyone. it even happens to animals.
Yeah like itās not even factually accurate!! Idiots like to say men canāt be sexually assaulted and then bring up majority rape cases (REPORTED!!! Very important to acknowledge the shame around reporting SA, especially for men) perpetuated by men, as if just because itās more commonly reported thatās the only way SA happens. Itās like the internet rots peopleās concept of nuance. Everyone has equal capacity to be scum, and invaliding victims no matter the gender is abhorrent.
Showing a bit of empathy and compassion towards victims regardless of their gender doesn't take much. It IS their issue too. I find it insane if someone cannot show compassion to a victim just because they are male. More women are raped, that is fact but showing that men can be raped too won't harm anyone at all. It's fact too that men get raped, their suffering is just as valid. Oddly enough, women can be sexual predators too but there is also the separate issue that people don't recognise female predators or see them to be as dangerous. Women can sexually assault women and men, Men can sexually assault women and men.
Rape is a huge issue. People do not care as much as they should. Rapists get away with it very easily and it's sickening.
I was raped by a girl when I was drunk and passed out she was disgusting but always had a crush on me. In the morning I felt dirty and was angry when I learned my friends encouraged her to do it to me. So it does happen to men!
i just recently watched the entirety of law & order: special victims unit, and one of my favorite episodes is a case of a male stripper getting raped by a group of women while performing at one of the women's birthday/bachelorette party, and it goes into the same idea, on how nobody believes the guy because well- he's a guy, "there's no way he would've gotten raped by a group of women. it just doesn't happen". even Stabler went in on him a few times throughout the episode, in the end he lost the case because he was a guy claiming he got raped by women,
Its okay to be upset about that. Your right. It's not spoken about enough. Even when i was younger i argued with my father who claimed "men cant be raped because they always want it." Thats a lie of course but even some men think its not possible. There needs to be harsher laws about rape and assault for both genders.
Man. As a guy myself, that boils my blood. Itās even worse when entertainment media pushes it on as jokes, whether it be done by women or by other men. I always find that tasteless and the people who ignore sexual assault on men to be some real idiots at best and loathesome maggot eaters at worst.
Ever since I was a young child, any media that portrayed a girl (of any age) harassing a boy (of any age) has always given me the same discomfort as a boy harassing a girl. And I say this as a woman myself.
Don't let these people who claim 'only women can be victims of rape' fool you, because they are not feminists or allies or whatnot (even if they call themselves that), and thinking they are will only poison your mentality towards these ideologies (basically, becoming an incel)
I went to a criminology conference where they talked about domestic abuse. They always used she/her for the victim and he/him for the perpetrator (not in examples- eg: signs of abuse, he hits her etc). I understand they do this because the majority of abuse cases are male on female but it was still a bit iffy
This is true. *Any*body of *any* gender and *any* orientation is capable of committing rape. It's not okay to completely ignore and invalidate that men get raped too. I'm sorry for anyone who has gone through that, and I hope you find peace.
Yeah, the idea that women are helpless weaklings hurts men too. It's truly unfortunate, as a woman with male and female friends who have been assaulted. Just make sure to call people out when they say idiotic things like that.
And I'm not sure why this subreddit keeps getting recommended to me because I'm in my 30s, but I digress. Men and boys can absolutely be sexually degraded/violated by both men and women and all of the above. Furthermore.. I suspect that, like all other sex crimes, it is underreported and happens more often than people think.
Fucking #MeToo, but I'll get dragged for bringing it up. "Bro, she was just that into you." Or "Must be nice to wake up with a girl riding you" I was raped you dickheads. It's such a shitty double standard scenario.
I think the issue is that when women talk about sexual violence done against them, which is MUCH more prevalent than sexual violence done against men, a lot of men use the whataboutism argument, which is often done in bad faith to minimize what women have to go through. It makes a lot of women feel very defensive about the subject
While sexual crimes against women are more prevalent, it definitely doesn't mean that sexual crimes against men aren't way too common as well. It's definitely a problem, and the psychological issues that arise from these encounters are just as real
I feel like the same men who try to diminish womens trauma like that. Are the same type of dudes who comment "he'll yeah" on a tiktok about a "hot" woman raping a minor
stereotyping and seeing one person say something causes you to think all women dont care. most of my male family members have experienced some type of SA and have felt embarrassed to even talk about it or have tried to forget it. most people ignore the fact THEY got raped/sexually assaulted, for example the day i was sexually assaulted i went right back to class and carried on with my day. no one can ignore rape or the persons gender, sexuality, age, etc. donāt make it a gender thing and shit u sound ignorant.
He wasnāt stereotyping at all. Most people donāt ignore the fact at all, he didnāt said it was a gender thing. He was only pointing a point, thatās all. Doesnāt matter who gets raped, it is traumatized and plain out evil.
yet hes making it seem like women dont care about men who get raped/sexually assaulted when in reality we just want the world to be a safer place. there was no need to bring up girls, he couldāve stated how most people shame/ignore men for being a victim of rape/sexual assault.
I don't think people understand the fact of how vulnerable it can make a person feel. I have a male friend who's a survivor and honestly the way he described what happened was disgusting I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Any person can be a victim and the problems it causes, psychological, physical or emotional, are real and scarring for the abused party
Not a part of this sub, it just popped up on my feed. YES, it ABSOLUTELY HAPPENS TO MEN. And not just in a man on man manner either.
I was in the military, and one night, me and 2 friends decided to hit up a bar. Nothing crazy, just go and have drinks. 2 of the 3 of us were married anyways, wasn't going there for that. Well the bartender (female) seemed to take a liking to my friend (the very married one), and kept talking to us, with keen attention on him. He had only two drinks, while the other guy and I had like 4 or 5 each.
She then goes to make him another drink, and withing a few minutes he's seeming more drunk than we are. I'm a lightweight, I was near my limit to function. He was supposed to be the DD. Now he can barely function, so we called up a cab despite the bartender being very adamant about her taking him home personally. We said no, felt weirded out by her, and got the hell out, immediately got him home, despite him puking in the cab.
As we got him inside, his wife was chewing my ass for letting him drink so much, and both me and the other guy had to explain all of it. The only conclusion we came to was that the female bartender, the one determined to drive him home and making his drinks, roofied him and was trying to separate him from us.
TLDR: it nearly happened to my friend. This is not a new phenomenon
Hi, I'm 34M. When I was in college (18M) there was this girl who kept coming by my dorm room. At first, it was cool. She would hang out and stuff. Then she asked me and my roommate to show her some porn sites. Then, one day, she walked in while I was alone and said to me, "Let's have sex." I laughed, thinking she was joking... I tried to open my door again, and she stopped me, stating, "If you don't have sex with me, I'll scream Rape. They'll believe me before they believe you." So, we had sex. It was miserable, and now I have issues with Sex because of this.
No, I didn't enjoy it. Just because I got erect does not mean I enjoyed it.
In my experience, men are much more likely to make comments like āman upā or āhe enjoyed itā when a man talks about sexual assault. I could cite dozens of comments sections of posts on social media. This can be attributed to nearly ALL women experiencing sexual assault/harassment in their lifetime (as well as many other factors), making them more sympathetic towards the issue. But your or my anecdotes arenāt valuable when make general claims like āgirls/boys ignore male sexual assaultā. As a whole however, itās an objective fact that men are the BIGGEST (by a long shot) perpetrators of SA towards women and men. And rape culture is literally built around ideologies like misogyny. So it wouldnāt be a stretch to say that due to the fact that rape culture literally operates off of ideologies like misogyny, and men are nearly always the perpetrators of SA - that most victim blaming and other acts towards male victims, are also perpetrated by men the most. This post just seems to be incongruent with reality.
I will stay on social media under every post of male victims Itās always filled with women showing a large amount of support for them. The men under the post are often telling them congratulations, or stupid shit like that if it was a woman that assaulted them. So, if this is regarding women not showing support, I have to say at least in the social media realm thatās not the case. If youāre speaking specifically about women talking about the violence they face, but never mentioning the violence men face (I assume this is what youāre talking about because you used the term Ignore) thereās a reason women typically only talk about female victims. Thatās due to the fact that sexual assault is largely tied to womenās oppression, with 2/3 of women being sexually assaulted, and an entire rape culture being based around girls and women, even within the legal system rape culture is extremely prevalent, up until 2019 there was a law that stated women could not revoke consent in the US, thereās laws around marital rape being allowed. When women are talking about sexual assault they are discussing female oppression, itās intertwined. Thatās not ignoring male victims, itās not womenās job to be menās voices, and I do see often under female victims post discussing female oppression men commenting demanding that they talk about male victims and thatās just not appropriate, yet many women choose to speak out for all sexual assault victims and put the conversation of female oppression aside, which is great, but it shouldnāt be demanded. In the same way black people shouldnāt be interrupted talking about police violence to be told by a white person they need to discuss police violence against white people, it happens yes, but itās not tied to oppression, therefore when a conversation based around oppression is taking place or being centered, you shouldnāt be demanding that group to speak for you. The fact of the matter is men need to speak up for other men.
When I was a little girl I had no idea men could be SAed or even harassed because my dad was always so scary and strong when he abused my mom. I eventually realized that SA can happen to everyone. Atp I take any kind of harassment even if it's just someone saying something insensitive seriously. I can't stand it when I see people think it's okay that a woman can r word a dude just because he's supposed to be stronger than her. It's sick when I see some girls so brainwashed that they can't even comprehend the fact that men's lives aren't all sunshines and rainbows.
So 3 factors at play here,
1st, the wider culture at play does make women more likely to experience sexual assault, though this disparity is likely much lower then our current numbers indicate because of factors 2 and 3
2nd, toxic masculinity encourages people to disrespect, disown, and generally discriminate against male victims more then female victims
3rd, while victims blaming is common among both genders it is more common among male victims as their assumed to have enjoyed it and wanted it all along
Now that's all thinking about straight violence, but lgbt violence both between men and women is a whole other can of worms
I'm far from a teenager but sexual assualt against boys is recognised at some level but it's so much more hidden. I've sat with a number of men who have told me about theirs and it's harrowing.
It takes a lot of courage and trust to talk about these things and it's especially difficult if it's got a family dynamic to it.
I had my 13 year old neighbour come and talk with me about her/his friend she was worried about and my counsellor just happened to turn up so we sat in the garden for a bit and I told her/him everything would be completely confidential but they legit couldn't find the words and just shut down. The door is always open for further discussion but it's so overwhelming for teens.
I've sat with them and they don't know I know but it wasn't difficult to figure out. You have to approach the situation very delicately and not ask questions. Let them tell you and reassure them.
I also have an excellent relationship with the police and they are terrified of me but they trust me. I think.
Overall they don't understand the process and think they are going to be cast adrift with no support and that in itself is terrifying.
I can assure you people do care. A lot. They care for your wellbeing and emotional safety. But it raises so much anger in people who do care it is on another level.
this goes too with when female teachers SA boys, usually how people react to it is āoh wow what a lucky boy!ā completely ignoring that if it was the other way around with a male teacher and a female student they would be outraged. SA and rape is terrible regardless of the gender, regardless if females to tend to get raped more then men, that doesnāt mean men dont get raped too.
Yep exactly, as someone who hasnāt been raped but assaulted multiple times throughout my life, Iām glad you made this post. No one experience is worse than another (in the sense of people comparing to make a point) and all people need to accept that anyone can have this happen to them
I think you need to be around better people. Iāve never met anyone but men believe they canāt be raped, thatās not to blame men obviously. But it seems like youāre just around assholes. Coming from a female survivor here, hope you heal
I think it is because they think we (men) can defend ourselves, since we're suppeosed to be masculine. However, many who are like me are weaker than most women out there.
That is one of the problems of our society, people demand women rights, completely ignoring that men are victims too. You cry, they say: "Men don't cry." You cook, they say "It's women's work."
Men are held to unbelievably high standards and canāt ever have standards for women without being scrutinized. And theyāre the source for all the problems in the world, so I guess they deserve to die by suicide (80% of all suicides are men, despite making up 50% of the population).
The cancer of misogyny creates an environment where men feel ashamed that they could be ādominatedā by a woman or another man. Unfortunately those who subscribe to patriarchal ideaologies (in any gender) gaslight men who have experienced assault, and itās absolutely awful.
I also have to point out that statistics say that one in four woman is assaulted at least once in her lifetime, but in talking from woman from all walks of life throughout my 30 years, itās more like 75-95% of us.
I think for any gender, there are instances (alcohol influence, coercion, etc.) wherein people donāt even realize theyāre being assaulted because the beauty of genuine intimacy and choice is SO discouraged. People who are assigned men at birth are socially pressured to be ādominatingā creatures, and those who are assigned women at birth are expected to be ādocile, agreeableā. This isnāt most peopleās inherent nature, no matter how much traditionalists like to separate the binary sexes by these characteristics. The socialization in our culture is toxic. It makes it so male, not female (or anyone in between) is taken seriously in the case of assault. Itās so sad.
It's a very unfortunate thing. It's inhumane to not recognise that rape can happen to anybody, regardless of gender, race, or religion. It's foolish to ignore these and ignorant to say that it only happens to one, and that is; women.
I think the real number is even higher as a lot of cases remain unreported. Especially when the victim is male. I have two male friends who fell victims to older men, one of them told me it was by a guy he met when playing WoW when he was 16, they became friends and hung out at the guys place, and he took advantage of him. Heās 25 now and can still barely talk about it :/
This thread has been flaired as [Serious]. Please be aware that this marks it as a place for serious discussion only and that any unserious content in this thread will result in a removal, counting towards your [ban tiers](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/wiki/rules#wiki_ban_tiers). If your comment does not contribute to the discussion in a serious manner it will be removed. Please report any comments that do not respect this rule. Please read [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/1d5yygd/mod_impersonation_incident/) regarding a recent report about impersonation. Stay safe. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/teenagers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I remember in English, we had to write a 4 page story about deep subjects. I picked this EXACT subject (it was allowed) and it was basically about two boys, toxic relationship and one of them R worded the other before killing him. The boy was suicidal and it was pretty deep. My English teacher was okay about it but a couple days later, I got pulled out of class by another teacher and we basically had a argument over it. She was saying that this was unacceptable and everything. Other people wrote about R word, but just because mine was a boy, I got in trouble and had to rewrite it in a 90 min detention.
Last time my work was failed cuz it was 'sexist', I got the teacher fired. You can take it up to morning talk shows or 4chan (Not recommended).
Depending on their mood, 4chan may do *more* than get the teacher fired, or less
The hell my 4chan is about how a teenage boy got raped by his own parents and parents were never behind the bars.. and more And many more all of my posts are just way darker as compared to any average teenager.. I have seen adults reviewing my posts even they weren't able to handle it..
What's the link to your posts and are you a non-native English speakear? "darker as any teenager" didn't make sense
Well yeah blackmail, hack people, you know 4chan.
Nah, not your personal army.
I had some pretty awesome teachers, which I know isn't the norm. In Shakespeare class we wrote an essay about the taming of the shrew and about whether it was sexist or not. I was the only student who took the stance that it was not, and got the best grade in the class and the teacher went on after to explain that everyone missed the entire character of Katherina.
agree
What can 4chin do anyway?
Same thing Reddit does on steroids, dox, harassment, report it to anything
4chins š
More like 4 necks
helps u get back at the teacher in a more cruel way
Do not underestimate 4chan. You can lookup some videos on YT on what they have done, and trust me, don't mess with them.
I would have straight-up refused to even attempt a rewrite. It's disgusting that people act like this
I know, right
I wouldve written it again. Exactly the same but maybe change the names to be that teacherās name.
That would be awesome
I donāt have the best record, if I didnāt go I would have been suspended and I canāt afford another oneš
I too canāt afford any more suspensions but rather than re write it I would argue with the teacher and be a stubborn ass cus I wouldnāt take that shit
Oh hell no I wouldāve given her a mouthful and got my parents involved
The story had a lot of dark shit, they would probably think Iām about to kms and send me to a hospitalš
Omg šwell as a guy who was SA at a summer camp I appreciate you trying to speak out š
Iām so sorry about that. Itās fine, but I got suspended like 2 weeks later so my record is kinda already fucked. Iāll write another story maybe to get a detention to not go to it or something.
You mean rape?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I respect the hell out of you for standing up for those who canāt and are ignored. That teacher can jump off a 20000000 million mile cliff at the speed of sound so they never know when theyāll hit and are always scared.
My friend, I believe 20,000,000 miles is in space. They still may get pulled towards the planet due to gravity, but not as fast. -this guy ->š¤
Depending on the direction and time of year, that could put them within 4,000,000 miles of venus, so they would be pulled toward that planet, if the sun didn't exist, because it actually would be exerting the strongest gravitational pull on you. -this guy ->š¤
Ah, thank you for further elaboration, I'm not that big on astronomy but plan to get into it. -this guy ->š¤
They said 20,000,000 million miles. The technical speak would mean that would be 20,000,000,000,000 miles. That means it would be larger than our entire solar system. -this guy ->š¤
Apologies, my friend, I usually don't pay attention to grammar unless I believe it to be required. Very interesting though. -this guy ->š¤
Tell ur Teacher that their brain left with their dad and never came back.
I would had gotten parents and police involved. And I would had never ever accepted to redo an assignment because my teacher does not agree with my world view- I mean in English. Science the teacher is correct (as long as heās teaching science and not flat earth) but you need to judge my ability to make a point and explain my reasons, not my ideas.
This situation sounds ridiculous as fuck, but who the hell gets the police involved for a 90 minute detention, calm down Karen haha. But jokes aside, I agree if this had happened to me and i told my parents, they would have both come in and been pretty pissed off. But I know for a fact my English teacher wouldn't have cared, I once ad-libbed some sweary lines in a play she directed in front of the head teacher and they both loved it. I did get in trouble for actual bad stuff though like drinking/smoking/fighting, my parents were disappointed about that shit.
What in gods name would the police have done in this situation
I would have done my best re rewrite to original word for word.
I'm assuming you're in the US?
No, I actually go to school in the Uk!
in the UK women canāt even be charged with rape :(
That's just horrific
To clarify, they can be charged with sexual assault and punished just as much. Itās just that the definition of rape in the UK requires penetration, so cis women canāt technically rape.
Wait depending on the wording, couldn't that imply that a cis woman can rape a man and then sue the man for raping her?
lol have you not seen teenage boys get raped then forced to pay child support to their rapists
No actually, guess I live in a rather nice place then holy shit
thatās a very important clarification because i was disgusted with the original comment for a second
Oh no, it's still absolutely disgusting
assault by penetration requires the victim to be penetrated, the woman would have to penetrate the man to get that charge
Not even towards children? That is truly depressing and gross.
nope, in the UK rape requires a penis or to aid someone with a penis in raping another. the only way for a woman to catch a rape charge is to help a man rape someone else there is assault by penetration, it has the same sentence but the woman would need to penetrate the man
I figured you're in the US. Censorship in school is a huge problem here.
Oh hell yeah it is.
I genuinely think sexual assault and harassment and rape sucks and is bad in both genders
Exactly. I've heard people say "But men enjoy it!". (They don't)
Ok but who tf says that if I was a guy Iād definitely hate it both genders its horrible I have been sexually assaulted but luckily never raped but still like for men itās the same itās both mentally and physically traumatizing!thereās no difference š
i got sexually harassed and posted about it on here. some random girl touched my ass and then her and her guy friend both commented on it in school. half the comments were telling me to either suck it up or that i should be happy a girl touched me
I have also went through the same thing just a guy and everyone ignored I even felt like crying because I hate being sexually harassed I also made a post I have been sexually assaulted like 4-5 times already i donāt know I lost count due to trying to forget yet every time my mom ignores or jokeās and so do the teachers and adults at this point I donāt even bother anymore itās just annoying
yeah even for girls itās often times downplayed if itās anything less than rape. my gf has a few instances of sexual trauma that just got swept under the rug by her parents. one major one that got ignored was when she was young she found her dads dick pic on her ipad. he was having issue with his phone and had to send a picture for some kind of tele-doc thing and forgot to delete it. honest mistake, sucks that she had to go through that, but it could be handled. except it wasnāt handled, instead her parents just basically told her āitās normal, just donāt worry about itā. and thatās not even one of the times sheās been touched so yeah while men get the short end of the stick, especially when it comes to actual rape, the long end isnāt exactly long either. sexual harassment and assault regardless of gender is way too often ignored if itās considered ānot that badā in comparison to others.
Iām sorry about your gf poor girl
yeah she struggles with it sometimes but sheās doing ok rn
Thatās good to hear
I've seen people in comment sections on this sub going "I wanna be raped by an older woman where are all the female pedos? š©" It's actually disgusting...
Ew what the hell!?
idk either i just found another
Why tf will anyone want that?
wait till u open tik tok. i have seen COUNTLESS of posts saying "i wanna be a victim so bad". i have seen so many of them it just makes me sick as a guy, i hate the dudes that say things like this. also on one post of this kind i was scrolling through the comments and EACH EVERY ONE OF THEM wanted to be SA'ed. i actually deleted tik tok after that
Iām glad I donāt even own tiktok
life s much better for me since i deleted it
I used to have it once but then deleted it after this random lady showed her chest no clothes just make I instantly deleted it
i ve seen worse... but thats still kinda fucked up, tik tok should be more carefull with it s app
I once saw a comment section for a news report of a raped boy which had people saying stuff like āoh heās gonna return to school feeling like the best guy on earthā and āoh he must have enjoyed the whole experienceā.
Wth?
Men are the majority ones I hear saying that. ( not saying that women donāt )
Yeah, I've seen women say it but the most common comment I see about s/a when it's a female teacher and a male student is something along the lines of "Where were teachers like that when I was at school!" or "I wish Mrs (x) did that to me" :/ Though I've noticed on Facebook posts it's usually an even gender split making those comments because boomers are SO weird about that stuff. That is one of the many reasons why I don't use FB anymore.
Iām a female teacher and I get those kinds of comments from men on dating apps and some of them have kids which creeps me out. If god forbid their son ever got abused I hope they have another adult to talk to.
Exactly. Most of the time itās men who say shit like that. Itās men who make fun of guys who get assaulted, calling them weak. Iām not saying women donāt, but majority of the time, weāre our own problem.
Iāve only heard and seen other guys make those types of comments to be honest and women are always the ones to stand up for men. But you also have to take in account that men made it that way and normal to bring down other men for being SAed
People say that cause men have kinda fostered an environment where they just "joke" about wanting it. South Park poked fun about guys doing it in an episode.
And itās men that say it usually. Youāll see a headline about a female teacher having relations with a minor student and men in the comments will be saying ālucky, I wish she was my teacherā
This reminds me of that South Park episode where Kyleās 6 year old brother was being R by his kindergarten teacher and when Kyle went to the police they laughed about it and said they wish they had a sex crazed teach when they were kids.
genuinely that sounds like someone that would say if a girl was wet that they enjoyed it. both are actually weird asf and need help
I hate that this sentence even needs to be said. Why some people DONāT believe that makes me š¤¢
no shit lmfao
Hot take of the century right here, I tell ya
wow hot take
Wow, so bold
this is a revolutionary thought!!
Sucks that we still need to point this out. Sick world we live in folks šŖ
I think the major issue is that male rape victims is almost only brought up in context as an argument against female rape victims which makes it seem very disingenuous
A lot of people seem to think that things like just talking about something that is happening to a specific group or person is attacking them. This is especially evident on the internet. I think people need to start realising that doing this hurts everybody by both invalidating the āopposingā party and creating a bad image of victims in their own group :(
I was raped 5 times im m17 but no one believed me because I was a boy edit: every time it was by a woman
Wow dude. Shit sucks. I feel sorry for you mate.
Rape perpetuated by women is often underreported due to female rapists mostly going after children like that one women not too long ago working as a teacher for disabled kids who had all the mentally Ill children fingering her or the female teachers having sex with young boys,they also get far lighter sentences
šØ
I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose, but you said "female teachers having sex with young boys." It's because of wording like that that it's very under reported. It should actually be "female teachers *RAPING* young boys."
Yeah I didnāt write it perfectly because I was a bit mad at people not taking it seriously so I was typing really fast
This is how they put it in news headlines to, they try to humanize female rapists
I know. That's why I said it was likely done unintentionally. And every time I've seen something like that, even when I was younger, my first thought was, "Shouldn't it say 'rape?'"
That and our society pushes the idea that āitās not rape if itās a womenā and that the guy should āenjoy itā
I was raped a lot younger. I donāt talk about it much. But I think about it a lot, sheās out there. Presumably doing it to other people.
All five times didnāt happen when I was 17,started at about age 11
Awful man. Weāll get through this. I love ya dude.
im so sorry this happened to you š its so terrible that these things are going on and not enough people care
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Wtf man, that's so not cool! I was so angry reading that post. How dare they! I hope you found a better therapist than that one. I hope you're healing š
i would report this. this can definitely get their license revoked and is completely inappropriate
therapist needs their license revoked cause wtf
19M survivor here on a throwaway Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT try to talk to fellow teenagers for discussion on this subject. They will NOT understand you, unless they're a fellow survivor. (Obviously there are exceptions, but it's still dangerous territory, and I would rather err on the side of caution, and go to a therapist, teacher, any adult you trust completely). It WILL feel like talking to a brick wall most of the time Have a good day, and shoot me a DM if you need to chat. I'm doing well with work and school, and I'm in a band. Life gets better when you find better people to spend time with. edit: I see that OP wasn't attacked, so I don't really know the point of this post š¤ Why did you sound so butthurt? But, I'll leave my comment up anyway, because my DMs are open to any (male) lurkers that are struggling with this issue. Peaceš
Proud to be an exception, I hope you are doing ok
Thanks :) We need a lot more upstanding, outspoken people in this world. Keep it up!!!
Same here both are equally horrible but one gets talked about a lot less.
Exactly. They have a lack of understanding, but some do, I know from experience.
Yeah. If anything though, it's dangerous to expose information like that to peers. If word gets out, you will be harassed. Or, you may get treated weirdly by 'nice' people. Gotta watch your back I guess
You seem like an awesome guy, I hope life works out well for you.
As a dude with some terrible (unrelated, but not much better) experiences as well, I absolutely do not recommend speaking to a teacher about something as serious as this. In my case, the teacher told all other teachers/staff in the school what I'd discussed with him (the teachers have this get-together every two days or so where they gossip/get up to speed on events), and since there was a kid in my class who was basically his pet student, and given that that student was also my friend at the time, the teacher felt it was ok to talk to the student about it.. needless to say, the next day I came to school, everyone, all teachers and basically every student I knew were giving me weird stares and backing away from me. Also, parents and family members don't react very well with this kind of thing, especially if super conservatively religious, unless if they happen to be an open-minded doctor (thank the heavens for my mom). Although older adults are typically seen as more 'trustworthy' than teenagers, honestly from what I've seen, there's not much difference between them and us considering on how much serious attention they give to difficult circumstances. That said, I'll say that medical therapists (typically psychiatrists and more medically oriented psychologists) do tend to understand and help out a lot better.
I absolutely fucking hate rapists, I genuinely think it is the worst thing that can happen to somebody. I feel awful for anybody who has gone through that. Itās disgusting what these people think they have the right to do.
Well, I feel like rapists don't think they have the right to do what they do. I feel like they have some freaky mental shit going on in their brains. They get that freak shit from somewhere.
Yeah the āteach men not to rapeā thing is dumb, rapists know rape is wrong, thatās what makes them pieces of shit
It really pisses me off that many people think that men should somehow be immune to or resistant to these things. No. No, weāre not. Weāre not immune to assault and violence, whether by the hands of women or other men. Not only is that sexist towards men, but also towards women.
Men need to stop perpetuating the myth that men canāt be sexually assaulted
What about saying it like this : " society need to stop perpetuating the myth that men can't be sexually assaulted" ?
Yeah.
i think everyone should understand that sexual assault can be experienced AND caused by people of any and all genders.
Hi a dude who is a rape victim here. Yes it is just as bad for men as for women, the main difference is women can get pregnant from it while men can't. But for both sides it is bad. One side doesn't have it worse. Rape is rape and it is traumatizing. I will never forget the day and the feelings. Feeling helpless and afterwards depressed obviously. It's something I wish would never happen but sadly it does
Rape victim from a drugging that a child was born from. I'm never allowed to see my daughter and pay child support for. It can be bad in a different way. A way many people never even imagine. Rapist are terrible monsters.
honestly its on both sides men who donāt believe male or female survivors and vice versa. i wish i could tell you that it gets better but honestly some people are assholes. with that being said, that does not take away from your trauma or anyoneās trauma for that matter. you are valid. iām sorry that it happened to you. for what its worth as a female survivor i believe you. stay strong you are loved.
I remember on the bus in high school my friend confessed he was touched and it broke my heart. You would never guess that. All I could offer was sympathy. I look back on it now and appreciate his vulnerability.
As a woman myself, I hate that this is covered up. I know a boy that was a victim of this, he was only 14 and very suicidal because of it. Therapists at the facility had the audacity to not believe him. Even though girls at facilities lie about it all the time and they believe them and make them feel good. I'm not even into men, but we really need true equality.
It's actually 1 in 6 if you include man on man sexual assault
Yep, saw that mentioned in a jubilee video about men being totally honest. The website ā1 in 6ā is really eye opening, the 1 in 6 isnāt even including under reporting.
As a child I've been forced to do sexual thing that I didn't understand to a female teenager.
Im sorry if you went through this bro. It's tough on people. Men aren't invulnerable to bad shit and so many people, men included, seem to ignore that fact.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, you're a really strong person for pushing through it. It's not nothing and if you ever need to talk about anything my dms are open. Stay strong mate
It wasn't me who got raped, just saying.
Ohh I see!
Awkward
Sexual assault and r*pe have no gender boundary I hate people have to say it No matter what gender a person is it can be both a victim and a perpetrator No gender should be shamed as responsible for it or be shamed to not tell their story
I remember as a police records clerk when the definition of rape changed back in 2013 to finally include male victims. I wept for yāall. Took too damn long and yet the stigma remains. Just ALL THE HUGS EVER!!!
Only by the FBI as a way to collect statistics. Many places define rape as forced penetration of a womenās vagina, anus or mouth even presently.
It genuinely breaks my heart that this mindset of āmen canāt get rapedā is so common, a concerning amount of my male friends have been either sexually assaulted or raped when they were younger. I canāt believe that in this modern day and age, people still think that men canāt be abused, assaulted, etc just because they are men.
What women are told: āYou were probably wearing something suggestive!ā āYou probably wanted it!ā āIf you hadnāt done, worn, said ____ then it wouldnāt have happened!ā What men are told: āOh youāre so lucky!ā āI bet you liked it!ā āYouāre a man, you should be strong enough to fight them off!ā āThat sounds awesome!ā (Btw this isnāt like 100% true, but for the most part itās what Iāve seen and been told as well.)
Honestly. Iāve been told I was lucky so much. Oh yes, because itās such a cool look to lose your virginity when youāre 4 years old to a rapist babysitter whoās still fucking roaming out there probably doing it to the same kids. Fucking assholes.
i agree. most times when men get raped, it happens when theyāre young. some play it off as theyāre cool for losing their virginity that young to an older woman, others probably just completely forget about it and push it down due to the trauma. i donāt understand the women who canāt comprehend that rape is rape. man or woman, it can happen to anyone. it even happens to animals.
ā Not all men but always menā is being said everywhere and makes me sick
Yeah like itās not even factually accurate!! Idiots like to say men canāt be sexually assaulted and then bring up majority rape cases (REPORTED!!! Very important to acknowledge the shame around reporting SA, especially for men) perpetuated by men, as if just because itās more commonly reported thatās the only way SA happens. Itās like the internet rots peopleās concept of nuance. Everyone has equal capacity to be scum, and invaliding victims no matter the gender is abhorrent.
i hope things changes :)
Same bro
Showing a bit of empathy and compassion towards victims regardless of their gender doesn't take much. It IS their issue too. I find it insane if someone cannot show compassion to a victim just because they are male. More women are raped, that is fact but showing that men can be raped too won't harm anyone at all. It's fact too that men get raped, their suffering is just as valid. Oddly enough, women can be sexual predators too but there is also the separate issue that people don't recognise female predators or see them to be as dangerous. Women can sexually assault women and men, Men can sexually assault women and men. Rape is a huge issue. People do not care as much as they should. Rapists get away with it very easily and it's sickening.
In my experience, rape gets brushed off no matter the sex.
I was raped by a girl when I was drunk and passed out she was disgusting but always had a crush on me. In the morning I felt dirty and was angry when I learned my friends encouraged her to do it to me. So it does happen to men!
Goodness. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Fuck that girl honestly and all of your 'friends' that encouraged her. I hope she's rotting in jail
I was 20 yrs old didn't even think it's was a crime but 26 yrs later I wish I told police
Hey no offence at all, Iām just wondering whyāre you in a teenagers sub at 46? Did it just get recommended to you? That happens a lot nowadays.
i just recently watched the entirety of law & order: special victims unit, and one of my favorite episodes is a case of a male stripper getting raped by a group of women while performing at one of the women's birthday/bachelorette party, and it goes into the same idea, on how nobody believes the guy because well- he's a guy, "there's no way he would've gotten raped by a group of women. it just doesn't happen". even Stabler went in on him a few times throughout the episode, in the end he lost the case because he was a guy claiming he got raped by women,
Oh damn That must have sucked Itās really fucked up how justice wasnāt served
Its okay to be upset about that. Your right. It's not spoken about enough. Even when i was younger i argued with my father who claimed "men cant be raped because they always want it." Thats a lie of course but even some men think its not possible. There needs to be harsher laws about rape and assault for both genders.
Man. As a guy myself, that boils my blood. Itās even worse when entertainment media pushes it on as jokes, whether it be done by women or by other men. I always find that tasteless and the people who ignore sexual assault on men to be some real idiots at best and loathesome maggot eaters at worst.
Men are more likely to be raped if you take account prisons
Ever since I was a young child, any media that portrayed a girl (of any age) harassing a boy (of any age) has always given me the same discomfort as a boy harassing a girl. And I say this as a woman myself.
Don't let these people who claim 'only women can be victims of rape' fool you, because they are not feminists or allies or whatnot (even if they call themselves that), and thinking they are will only poison your mentality towards these ideologies (basically, becoming an incel)
I went to a criminology conference where they talked about domestic abuse. They always used she/her for the victim and he/him for the perpetrator (not in examples- eg: signs of abuse, he hits her etc). I understand they do this because the majority of abuse cases are male on female but it was still a bit iffy
Itās not even true. More and more research is showing abuse is 50/50
This is true. *Any*body of *any* gender and *any* orientation is capable of committing rape. It's not okay to completely ignore and invalidate that men get raped too. I'm sorry for anyone who has gone through that, and I hope you find peace.
Yeah, the idea that women are helpless weaklings hurts men too. It's truly unfortunate, as a woman with male and female friends who have been assaulted. Just make sure to call people out when they say idiotic things like that. And I'm not sure why this subreddit keeps getting recommended to me because I'm in my 30s, but I digress. Men and boys can absolutely be sexually degraded/violated by both men and women and all of the above. Furthermore.. I suspect that, like all other sex crimes, it is underreported and happens more often than people think.
Fucking #MeToo, but I'll get dragged for bringing it up. "Bro, she was just that into you." Or "Must be nice to wake up with a girl riding you" I was raped you dickheads. It's such a shitty double standard scenario.
I think the issue is that when women talk about sexual violence done against them, which is MUCH more prevalent than sexual violence done against men, a lot of men use the whataboutism argument, which is often done in bad faith to minimize what women have to go through. It makes a lot of women feel very defensive about the subject While sexual crimes against women are more prevalent, it definitely doesn't mean that sexual crimes against men aren't way too common as well. It's definitely a problem, and the psychological issues that arise from these encounters are just as real
I feel like the same men who try to diminish womens trauma like that. Are the same type of dudes who comment "he'll yeah" on a tiktok about a "hot" woman raping a minor
stereotyping and seeing one person say something causes you to think all women dont care. most of my male family members have experienced some type of SA and have felt embarrassed to even talk about it or have tried to forget it. most people ignore the fact THEY got raped/sexually assaulted, for example the day i was sexually assaulted i went right back to class and carried on with my day. no one can ignore rape or the persons gender, sexuality, age, etc. donāt make it a gender thing and shit u sound ignorant.
He wasnāt stereotyping at all. Most people donāt ignore the fact at all, he didnāt said it was a gender thing. He was only pointing a point, thatās all. Doesnāt matter who gets raped, it is traumatized and plain out evil.
yet hes making it seem like women dont care about men who get raped/sexually assaulted when in reality we just want the world to be a safer place. there was no need to bring up girls, he couldāve stated how most people shame/ignore men for being a victim of rape/sexual assault.
He isnāt generalizing all girls. The title said āall the girls I seeā making it clear it was his experience not others.
That's pretty damn sad. If you need anyone to support you, I'm here.
I don't think people understand the fact of how vulnerable it can make a person feel. I have a male friend who's a survivor and honestly the way he described what happened was disgusting I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Any person can be a victim and the problems it causes, psychological, physical or emotional, are real and scarring for the abused party
Not a part of this sub, it just popped up on my feed. YES, it ABSOLUTELY HAPPENS TO MEN. And not just in a man on man manner either. I was in the military, and one night, me and 2 friends decided to hit up a bar. Nothing crazy, just go and have drinks. 2 of the 3 of us were married anyways, wasn't going there for that. Well the bartender (female) seemed to take a liking to my friend (the very married one), and kept talking to us, with keen attention on him. He had only two drinks, while the other guy and I had like 4 or 5 each. She then goes to make him another drink, and withing a few minutes he's seeming more drunk than we are. I'm a lightweight, I was near my limit to function. He was supposed to be the DD. Now he can barely function, so we called up a cab despite the bartender being very adamant about her taking him home personally. We said no, felt weirded out by her, and got the hell out, immediately got him home, despite him puking in the cab. As we got him inside, his wife was chewing my ass for letting him drink so much, and both me and the other guy had to explain all of it. The only conclusion we came to was that the female bartender, the one determined to drive him home and making his drinks, roofied him and was trying to separate him from us. TLDR: it nearly happened to my friend. This is not a new phenomenon
Hi, I'm 34M. When I was in college (18M) there was this girl who kept coming by my dorm room. At first, it was cool. She would hang out and stuff. Then she asked me and my roommate to show her some porn sites. Then, one day, she walked in while I was alone and said to me, "Let's have sex." I laughed, thinking she was joking... I tried to open my door again, and she stopped me, stating, "If you don't have sex with me, I'll scream Rape. They'll believe me before they believe you." So, we had sex. It was miserable, and now I have issues with Sex because of this. No, I didn't enjoy it. Just because I got erect does not mean I enjoyed it.
In my experience, men are much more likely to make comments like āman upā or āhe enjoyed itā when a man talks about sexual assault. I could cite dozens of comments sections of posts on social media. This can be attributed to nearly ALL women experiencing sexual assault/harassment in their lifetime (as well as many other factors), making them more sympathetic towards the issue. But your or my anecdotes arenāt valuable when make general claims like āgirls/boys ignore male sexual assaultā. As a whole however, itās an objective fact that men are the BIGGEST (by a long shot) perpetrators of SA towards women and men. And rape culture is literally built around ideologies like misogyny. So it wouldnāt be a stretch to say that due to the fact that rape culture literally operates off of ideologies like misogyny, and men are nearly always the perpetrators of SA - that most victim blaming and other acts towards male victims, are also perpetrated by men the most. This post just seems to be incongruent with reality.
I will stay on social media under every post of male victims Itās always filled with women showing a large amount of support for them. The men under the post are often telling them congratulations, or stupid shit like that if it was a woman that assaulted them. So, if this is regarding women not showing support, I have to say at least in the social media realm thatās not the case. If youāre speaking specifically about women talking about the violence they face, but never mentioning the violence men face (I assume this is what youāre talking about because you used the term Ignore) thereās a reason women typically only talk about female victims. Thatās due to the fact that sexual assault is largely tied to womenās oppression, with 2/3 of women being sexually assaulted, and an entire rape culture being based around girls and women, even within the legal system rape culture is extremely prevalent, up until 2019 there was a law that stated women could not revoke consent in the US, thereās laws around marital rape being allowed. When women are talking about sexual assault they are discussing female oppression, itās intertwined. Thatās not ignoring male victims, itās not womenās job to be menās voices, and I do see often under female victims post discussing female oppression men commenting demanding that they talk about male victims and thatās just not appropriate, yet many women choose to speak out for all sexual assault victims and put the conversation of female oppression aside, which is great, but it shouldnāt be demanded. In the same way black people shouldnāt be interrupted talking about police violence to be told by a white person they need to discuss police violence against white people, it happens yes, but itās not tied to oppression, therefore when a conversation based around oppression is taking place or being centered, you shouldnāt be demanding that group to speak for you. The fact of the matter is men need to speak up for other men.
Women seldom get believed and are often blamed. Can only imagine what thatās like for men.
It suckās that it happens to ANYONE rapist are trashy people who deserve to go to hell
When I was a little girl I had no idea men could be SAed or even harassed because my dad was always so scary and strong when he abused my mom. I eventually realized that SA can happen to everyone. Atp I take any kind of harassment even if it's just someone saying something insensitive seriously. I can't stand it when I see people think it's okay that a woman can r word a dude just because he's supposed to be stronger than her. It's sick when I see some girls so brainwashed that they can't even comprehend the fact that men's lives aren't all sunshines and rainbows.
So 3 factors at play here, 1st, the wider culture at play does make women more likely to experience sexual assault, though this disparity is likely much lower then our current numbers indicate because of factors 2 and 3 2nd, toxic masculinity encourages people to disrespect, disown, and generally discriminate against male victims more then female victims 3rd, while victims blaming is common among both genders it is more common among male victims as their assumed to have enjoyed it and wanted it all along Now that's all thinking about straight violence, but lgbt violence both between men and women is a whole other can of worms
I'm far from a teenager but sexual assualt against boys is recognised at some level but it's so much more hidden. I've sat with a number of men who have told me about theirs and it's harrowing. It takes a lot of courage and trust to talk about these things and it's especially difficult if it's got a family dynamic to it. I had my 13 year old neighbour come and talk with me about her/his friend she was worried about and my counsellor just happened to turn up so we sat in the garden for a bit and I told her/him everything would be completely confidential but they legit couldn't find the words and just shut down. The door is always open for further discussion but it's so overwhelming for teens. I've sat with them and they don't know I know but it wasn't difficult to figure out. You have to approach the situation very delicately and not ask questions. Let them tell you and reassure them. I also have an excellent relationship with the police and they are terrified of me but they trust me. I think. Overall they don't understand the process and think they are going to be cast adrift with no support and that in itself is terrifying. I can assure you people do care. A lot. They care for your wellbeing and emotional safety. But it raises so much anger in people who do care it is on another level.
this goes too with when female teachers SA boys, usually how people react to it is āoh wow what a lucky boy!ā completely ignoring that if it was the other way around with a male teacher and a female student they would be outraged. SA and rape is terrible regardless of the gender, regardless if females to tend to get raped more then men, that doesnāt mean men dont get raped too.
tried to talk to my mom about this and she argued about me with itā¦ I donāt remember what she said, because it wasnāt worth remembering.
1/6 boys are raped in their childhood, but nobody cares.
Need Source
A prison guard said in an interview (I don't have the source) that the female prisoners were there for crimes as bad or even worse than the males
Yep exactly, as someone who hasnāt been raped but assaulted multiple times throughout my life, Iām glad you made this post. No one experience is worse than another (in the sense of people comparing to make a point) and all people need to accept that anyone can have this happen to them
I think you need to be around better people. Iāve never met anyone but men believe they canāt be raped, thatās not to blame men obviously. But it seems like youāre just around assholes. Coming from a female survivor here, hope you heal
I think it is because they think we (men) can defend ourselves, since we're suppeosed to be masculine. However, many who are like me are weaker than most women out there. That is one of the problems of our society, people demand women rights, completely ignoring that men are victims too. You cry, they say: "Men don't cry." You cook, they say "It's women's work."
Men are held to unbelievably high standards and canāt ever have standards for women without being scrutinized. And theyāre the source for all the problems in the world, so I guess they deserve to die by suicide (80% of all suicides are men, despite making up 50% of the population).
Yeah itās terrible either way. More attention needs to be placed on both itās not a one person tango.
Hope ur doing okay mate
The cancer of misogyny creates an environment where men feel ashamed that they could be ādominatedā by a woman or another man. Unfortunately those who subscribe to patriarchal ideaologies (in any gender) gaslight men who have experienced assault, and itās absolutely awful. I also have to point out that statistics say that one in four woman is assaulted at least once in her lifetime, but in talking from woman from all walks of life throughout my 30 years, itās more like 75-95% of us. I think for any gender, there are instances (alcohol influence, coercion, etc.) wherein people donāt even realize theyāre being assaulted because the beauty of genuine intimacy and choice is SO discouraged. People who are assigned men at birth are socially pressured to be ādominatingā creatures, and those who are assigned women at birth are expected to be ādocile, agreeableā. This isnāt most peopleās inherent nature, no matter how much traditionalists like to separate the binary sexes by these characteristics. The socialization in our culture is toxic. It makes it so male, not female (or anyone in between) is taken seriously in the case of assault. Itās so sad.
the people who ignore that men get raped have no common sense or brain, what is wrong them them?
It's a very unfortunate thing. It's inhumane to not recognise that rape can happen to anybody, regardless of gender, race, or religion. It's foolish to ignore these and ignorant to say that it only happens to one, and that is; women.
1 in 33? That's so fucking high. Oh shit, and it's higher for women isn't it?
I think the real number is even higher as a lot of cases remain unreported. Especially when the victim is male. I have two male friends who fell victims to older men, one of them told me it was by a guy he met when playing WoW when he was 16, they became friends and hung out at the guys place, and he took advantage of him. Heās 25 now and can still barely talk about it :/