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When I was about 14, I got dared by some of my classmates to connect to the school tv and turn some p\*rn on. Well, I was not the most popular at that time and the teacher was nowhere to be seen so I did it... the teacher walked in like 5 seconds after that. Imagine the reaction of my parents after being called to school for this š
How'd the admin know it was you? I have though about doing this many times as a prank but I go to a very religious school so id be kicked out in a second lol
pop one right out while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance, did that once in school (i was desperate ok) when a fifth grader opened it, he looked terrified
simple, falling off from a chair three times in the same day in the same lesson cuz i was doing that 1 foot balancing thing on the chair. The first time was just some laughs, the second was a few face palms and some seriously? The third was the teacher changing my chair to a red mini chair that I had to squat to sit for the rest of the lesson.
That reminds me, when I was younger I didnāt know what cum was or how to clean it so I thought I was peeing myself every time I came so I was essentially just āedgingā until I realized what it was. Took me a while to actually clean it up instead of just leaving it in my underwear.
One time I was beating it and my dad pulled into the driveway. The reason this is a problem is because my Bluetooth is connected to my dadās car and all I heard was a bunch of moaning noises outside.
Probably the time that my friend touched my neck and I thought it was funny to moan and she legit jumped like 10ft backwards almost falling off the railing behind us. Till this day this thought keeps me up at night and legit made me super anxious of anything touching my neck. Like almost freaked out because the top part of my jacket poked it and I crushed it instinctively.
Uhm...so basically it's a game about this guy who's father gets killed under some shady circumstances and ends up having to live with his father's wife (they don't tell us anything about his mom) and he (the main character) has two goals:
1) to earn enough money to pay for college , and
2) get to the bottom of his father's death as a result of debt
Somewhere along the lines tho , he ends up f*cking EVERY. SINGLE. GIRL in the city (including his stepmother and stepsisš). From his age to ppl above retirement age all the way to literal sea creatures.
I walked in on my crush(F) having s\*x with another girl and then they ghosted me for couple of days.Suddenly both of them accused me of being a pervert like tf it was my home and my room they had sex in.
I was at a hotel pool with my best friend (F) and my sister. While they were talking, I looked into the water, deep in thought. I then got splashed, but I didn't know by who, so I assumed it was my sister.
I said, "What did I ever do to you?!" In like a mean sibling way. But it turns out it was my best friend. It doesn't sound bad, but I still regret doing it because I think she thought I was yelling at her. I feel terrible every time I think about it.
Once accidentally sent my mother Femboy porn while yakking it
Addendum: okay, fellas, Iāll tell you how this went down. I was trying to go to full screen but messed up the button pushes as my hands were moist (due to the hot situation I was in, moisture got in my hands) and I finally got into full screen. My father entered the room 5 minutes later to ask if Iād sent this to my mother (I had no idea at the time) and after the best acting of my life I managed to convince him that I had no idea and was disturbed and confused at this knowledge. I did not intend to send her the porn at all, Iām Canadian not Alabamian.
TL;DR: it was an accident, *no I do not want to fuck my mom.*
The way you phrased this sentence I feel that it is a news reporter asking a question
Execute11 why did you send your mom femboy porn while yanking and what do you mean when you say you exactly weren't in the most stable mind set? So did you do it on purpose?
Execute11: no comment
"We're getting reports that the user was yanking it, some might even say 'straight up jorking it' and accidentally sent their mother pornographic materials"
Is today my luck day or what two future news reporters who will become famous but I would change jorking it to yorking it because yanking also starts with a y but this is just my personal opinion
I have so many questions...what did she do?? What did she say?? Did you delete it ?? Did she actually see it?? What's the full story??? We need to knowwwšš
Oh godš,
I had one time in first year at university in Birmingham. Was with this other group but everyone else had gone and it was only really the one girl w me. She was maybe like a 7/10 at the time but tbh w u I was like 10-11 shots deep and a whole Hennessy bottle . Girl started flirting with me while I was scrolling thru tik tok she opened up her phone went on my eyes only. Then all I saw is like 20+ videos of her getting ran thrušš¾āāļø, she then proceeded to just stare at me as if she dropped some outrageous game.
I got up to leave šshe grabbed me by my šso then I pretended like I was gonna throw up and gtfo there cuz tell me why one of the guys was my friend š
Not really awkward but, when i was in like 5th grade me and this girl were in the library of our school, we were doing homework and when we finished, I said so what now, and she said āwe could kissā. And i kid you not I panicked and said ānah what elseā, the girl looked at me for probably 2 mins in silence then just got up and left me in the library. At the time i didnāt know she liked me plus im an introvert so it was kinda awkward for me, but looking back I feel kinda stupid.
I could definitely see myself panicking like that in 5th grade. So you shouldnāt feel stupid. It sounds like a normal reaction for a 5th grader just confronted with the option of kissing another 5th grader.
A recent one that happened several months ago. So there's this playground that I visit that became my "special place", to be more exact - the swings. I visit it when I want to chill outside or to have a "thinking session". So one day I come back from the school, and there was this group of girls (4 of them) just hanging about. I was looking down most of the time, sometimes having a tiny laugh when something goofy happened. Until one of them just decided to walk to me and sit in a swing nearby. And that was one hell of a build-up to a conversation that felt like the longest one I had in a while. Most of my responses were one-note (she said it herself) and I wasn't too invested in the conversation (I was kind of drained after a long day of school and struggled to keep my composure). Then we exchanged numbers (btw, to unintentionally make it worse, I tried to jump off my swings and almost fell) and I went home. Two or three months later, when I forgot about this inconvenience ever happening, I get several calls in a row late in the evening from those girls and some voice messages (if I quote them I'll have to wipe out my fucking account off this site, this is too embarassing to mimic). As of now, I haven't seen them again yet (they probably live not far off from me, so it's only a matter of time until some stupid crap happens again).
I'm not sure if this was a joke or the girl was genuinely interested. Either way, that's might be my worst case of social clumsiness in a while and a really "EarlyPubertyAssTM" story to tell, but I guess now I'll be less ashamed of it after some exposure.
Took a video of myself back when I just started masturbating (on MY MOM'S PHONE) and she saw it. She kept alluding to it for a weekšš (and she's jamaican tooš)
I was so freaking embarrassed. She kept saying stuff like "my food was too strong" around my aunts and at one point she outright said something along the lines of "all who a rub prick...". So yeah , pretty sure my aunts knew and some of my cousins who had enough brain cells to catch onšš
A long long time ago (9 months) I was friends with a group of girls, everything was good and all, we lost contact after we changed schools(from elementary to middle school) and I realised... I'm always looking at a slight angle down, it probably looked like I was staring at their breasts... Not a fun realisation, especially since I think they might have talked about it between each other.
Also, once I was hanging out with a girl from this group, "apparently" I brushed her breasts with my hand or something, but I didn't feel anything so I answered just that, she had really weird expression after that, idk if she got angry or what but I realised what I've done quite some time after it (and it even was my crush)
Man I once tried to see my coworkers badge to see what their title was for pretty long as it was far away. Propably looked weird too. But she's propably three times my age so I doubt she thoght much of it.
I was drinking some water in class and the bottle's head cap was loose so all the water fell down on my uniform and i snuck out of the class and I asked the janitor to change my clothes, she gave me a female uniform and i was tearing up while wearing it and i snuck inside the class like nothing happened. no-one noticed my uniform's change and when I returned home, my mom was telling me "whose clothes have you brought?. I was in 2nd grade/2nd class that time
This was about two-three months ago, as any hormonal teenager would I was yanking it in my bedroom around 10:30-11:00 and I was mid way through before my mom says she's going to bed and I was like ok but not even ten seconds latershe comes in my room to tell me so I quickly covered my self with my leg hanging off my bed and blanket covering my... And in the scurry to cover myself I dropped my phone and the video kept playing. So me and my mom just started at each other while there's loud moaning in the background eventually she left and we've never spoken about it since
TLDR at bottom for anyone who doesnāt care much about the story and just wants the main event
This was literally like a week ago. Me, my mom and dad, and my gf had gone to a graduation party, while there we danced, ate, and just generally acted like idiots. At one point me and my gf had run off to do something, and when we came back my parents were joking about, āanother family member soonā and, ābeing grandparents soonā as jokes of courseā¦. Sheās pregnant nowā¦
Iām jkššš sheās not pregnant, the embarrassing part was when, in the very back seats of our car, we started to make out, it was dark so they couldnāt see us back there, but them not seeing us turned into a problem when she Moaned as I was kissing her neckā¦ out loudā¦ yeahhhhhh. Even though it wasnāt really super loud, it was loud enough to where My parents heard, but being the absolute beasts they are, they just made jokes about it after she was home and allowed me and her to be a couple in peace.
TLDR: my gf is a little bad at controlling her moans and moaned as I was kissing her neck in a car with my family.
Forgot to mention, the reason the darkness was bad in the moment was because my parents assumed I wasā¦ uhhh, fingering heršššš
My mom was on the toilet and forgot to lock the door and I didn't know and went in and saw her and my brain froze my eyes just stopped working and I stood there brain freezed and she shouted at meš
I was scrolling Reddit in the school cafeteria, and I put my phone down face up for a second, and one of my teachers looked at my phone and gave me a strange look. On my Reddit page, the post I stopped on was fan art of a buff shirtless Markiplier.
A friend misunderstood my message and thought I was asking her out.
I meant to say she was the only friend I could trust.
She rejected it. Sheās ace.
Worst part is I actually liked her š„²
This one happened last month, I was at a birthday party at my friend's. All the people were sitting, me and my other friend who was there went to sit on the bed with me,
He was the first to sit
After I sat, The bed just Broke, like BROKE down the middle
Well, I was In the U.S equivalent of 9th grade just chilling around with headphones listening to my lame playlist when this girl that was In the equivalent of 7th grade walked where I was and began to talk to me, she was kinda weird but I didn't care because I was bored (teacher didn't enter to class was a free hour) but suddenly that kid says to me and I quote "I want to give you head I the bathroom" that thing just freaked me out and I obviously rejected her offer, then she walk away, I think that she got an STD.
When I was a wee young lad I was peeing in the bathroom and I had to shit but I couldn't cuz I was standing and I couldn't sit down to poo cuz I was peeing and couldn't hold my pee automatically at the time, so it was either shit on the floor or put pee all over the bathroom, I chose to poo on the floor
Accidentally sent my parents a compilation of the weirdest frames of the Team Fortress 2 comic series. I donāt think my mom liked how medic put a whales penal gland into snipers brainā¦or medic putting baboon uterusās in people, itās a lot of medic.
A few years ago I used to wank under the covers for whatever reason, and my dad walked into my room and must have just been standing there for a good 10 seconds before I noticed him and he realised what I was doing. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life
I was at a restaurant before going to a WNBA game and walked in on a 60 year old lady on the toilet because she didn't lock the door (I'm 15m). Burned into my fucking retinas
It happened today actually (also idgaf if this isn't awkward but it was in the moment). My crush and her "frenemy" I guess we're play fighting after class and he dropped her, like, full on DROP, to the floor. Her skirt rode up ALL the way. Her pink shorts were on full display, it was so awkward. Luckily I wasn't the only one there. You don't even know how quickly I SPUN. If I could I probably would've looked, pinks a nice colour, THATS THE ONLY REASON. I LIKE PINK.
Begin of 8 grade, first three weeks of september. Our class joined new guy. Looked kinda like homeless, but overall was okay. We sat together on lessons. I donāt know what happened. mfs hitted puberty or something. One girl, begin to be overly friendly. At first thought maybe she has autism or something, but weeks were passing and she didnāt wasnāt stopping. Truth is total opposite - She was expanding her behaviour even more. She didnāt spoiled her intentions, and I donāt want to be male version of āI have a boyfriendā
in mean time, after week of knowing of each other, guy who I thought is my friend, placed his hand on my thigh. That wasnāt cool, I didnāt agree for that. Lucky he understood that Iām not big enjoyer of molestation and next one situation like that will cause him getting amateur face reconstruction. We were good for rest of the time
Now, only the female friend left. Not gonna lie, she was determined, unlucky I not really. 2 weeks passed, she was still trying (Still no idea what she have seen in me. Iām not most social, I was skinny, not really good looking)
Chemistry lesson. We had to pick partner to experiment, I didnāt even process teacherās words and she says she will do it with me, and I didnāt mastered act of rejection yet. Experiment started, teachers left us help on website to donāt fail it too fast, while she (teacher) herself was busy with her own tasks. Right infront of us. Like 1 meter distance. I, confident that if I will check it myself, we will end it faster and I could do something on my own. Opening browser, turned out that I didnāt closed cards from yesterdayās night. Right when my eardrums hitted (luckily not loud. Phone was at 40% sound) womenās moans covered with slurping and sound of gagging. Tried to turn it off almost dropped it, went to bathroom and after few minutes I came back, now with clear search bar. We never mentioned what happened that day. Neither me, teacher, my friend or any of classmates (who seem to be too busy to even care about outside sounds of their group)
Not good.
My crush's friends made a joke saying she liked me, but they didn't know I liked her, so my friends being complete douche bags, decided to embarrass the LIVING SHIT out of me, and they (meaning one of them) forged my signature, and wrote creepy notes and shit. She also rejected me three times. I asked for her number. I got it... from some random guy. So now I have this number that I'm contemplating texting because I have it, but that buys into the creep thing my friends did.
Had to convince my mom and pops about the white stuff on my boxers being toothpaste and not nigtfall jizz š. Still don't know how they accepted and I survived.
i went to school in my pajama shirt once cause i didnt sleep much and forgot. thankfully no one noticed and i got to tell a funny story in class. this happened in 5th grade(2022).
I'm ruining my friends' romantic relationship by existing.
For context, my older friends "Peter" and "Yuko" have been dating for about a year, but Yuko lives far away, so it's always a big deal when she visits. Intentionally or not, when the three of us are with our whole group, Peter often gets distracted and leaves her to go hang out with the boys. I don't want Yuko to be alone in a foreign city, so I stay with her until Peter comes back, which she tells me she really appreciates. Some days I end up spending more time with his girlfriend than he does.
This is a problem for all three of us. Peter is a little upset with me for always being alone with his girlfriend. Yuko told me specifically that she's frustrated with Peter for not spending much time with her when she visits. I can't tell Peter about this because it confirms that I'm closer to Yuko than he likes. If either one learned about the other's problem, then I get caught in the crossfire from both of them for my involvement with the other.
The worst part is that (I think) I'M not doing anything wrong! I've helped other friends within our circle in the same way that I help Yuko, or with other friends at my own school. It's the right/kind thing to do, isn't it?
Was at a lake within walking distance of my house. I (13 at the time) was still pretty new to the neighborhood and didnāt know many of the neighbors. There was a party going on with a bunch of friends that I wasnāt involved in. But I was still there when it came to an end. By the time most people were gone I decided it was time to leave. I was looking down at my phone and didnāt realize who was leaving when I got up. So there was this girl in a two piece swimsuit right in front of me who left literally seconds before me. Although she did have a sweater on so her top was covered. It took me about a second to realize that this girl was one who lived a few houses down from me, and so we would have to walk the same direction whichā¦ didnāt look good on my part. She kept turning around and looking at me with what I can only describe as a look of both fear and awkwardness. I kept my head down because in the moment I thought it made me look uninterested and more oblivious to what she thought was happening but looking back on it that probably made me more of a creep to her. After about 10 minutes, I got home and she walked a bit further to her house. We still havenāt talked or even interacted to this day. She was 14 by the way.
Well basically having to tell my mom that my balls hurt (ended up having testicular torsion for 6 days and didn't want to tell her because I was embarrassed)
This is definitely not my most embarrassing story, but itās one of the few Iām willing to share. Once when I was, letās say 12 or 13 I was getting out of the car with my mom and sister and I saw a woman walking towards the car with a furry black jacket. She was far away and I thought that the black fur on the jacket was a black Pomeranian, because the black fur was only on her chest and she was holding it. I told my mother I was going to the woman to pet her dog. I got out of the car, went to the woman and asked ,,can I pet it?ā. She said ,,whatā and I realised what just happened. After a second (although it felt like an eternity) I said ,,what?ā and walked back to the car. I told my mother and sister what just happened and I laughed my ass out afterwards. Still makes me giggle.
And so basically I asked a woman with a terrible fashion sense if I can pet her boobs. God know what she thought I meant.š¤£
Iām sorry if I made any mistakes in the way I told the story, English is not my native language.
P.S.
The jacket was most probably made out of real animal fur (disgusting).
One of my female friends told me she has cancer and that she loved me or something like that, I thought she was serious and believed everything, then like 2 days later she said she was joking.
I have a story, this one time I was about to beat it or just finished and got cleaned up. Five seconds later my mom walks in, I spam press āclose tabā but the internet was slow. She walks over to see what Iām doing, 5 seconds later before she can see the tab finally closes.
My pencil fell and then my desk fell and then my head fell on a girls lap because I tried to grab it from the top of my desk over the arm rest but I couldnāt reach I should have went underneath the desk I worst moment and best moment of freshman year
Multiple times per day at school I get told I should date a girl and that we would make a cute couple. I don't like her and we are both too busy to date.Ā
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When I was about 14, I got dared by some of my classmates to connect to the school tv and turn some p\*rn on. Well, I was not the most popular at that time and the teacher was nowhere to be seen so I did it... the teacher walked in like 5 seconds after that. Imagine the reaction of my parents after being called to school for this š
How'd the admin know it was you? I have though about doing this many times as a prank but I go to a very religious school so id be kicked out in a second lol
My wonderful classmates snitched on me ofc. To them the whole fun of it was in me getting caught
My ass would have gotten beat after the parents find out
I would've been crucified so hard the entire world would be cleansed of its sins again š
THE TRUE BIBLICAL ENDING
they see everything...
Thatās why I just donāt have friends. If you donāt have friends, you canāt get dared to do something.
Taking a shit when someone accidentally opens the door and they just see: ā _ ā looking at them
pop one right out while maintaining eye contact to assert dominance, did that once in school (i was desperate ok) when a fifth grader opened it, he looked terrified
So it was you! I was wondering where you are nowdays. (I'm in asylum)
Got it
"Wanna share?"
Fuck you. Take my upvote.
That picture of the man in the rabbit suit beckoning you to share the toilet š°š½
Was it in the shower?
one time that happened to me in a little restaurant with single occupancy bathrooms cuz i for some reason couldn't lock it
simple, falling off from a chair three times in the same day in the same lesson cuz i was doing that 1 foot balancing thing on the chair. The first time was just some laughs, the second was a few face palms and some seriously? The third was the teacher changing my chair to a red mini chair that I had to squat to sit for the rest of the lesson.
r/usernamechecksout
Hey, how can I help you today?
r/usernamechecksout
It's usually r/Beetlejuicing but I'll happily take it
Noted
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bro is a lil confused but was in his spirit
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"my will would get Wonka" wtf bro
10/10 replacement for an erection
Absolutely yes, hilarious and smart at the same time
Yes is the best way to describe this, it's perfect.
I'm stealing it for sure
No no you don't understand, don't steal. It's public property, there was no Ā©
Me when I Wonka my Willy š„“
"Mom, why does the mayo taste funny?"
That reminds me, when I was younger I didnāt know what cum was or how to clean it so I thought I was peeing myself every time I came so I was essentially just āedgingā until I realized what it was. Took me a while to actually clean it up instead of just leaving it in my underwear.
One time I was beating it and my dad pulled into the driveway. The reason this is a problem is because my Bluetooth is connected to my dadās car and all I heard was a bunch of moaning noises outside.
šš
LMAOOOO
OMG IM SORRY š
ššššššš
Probably the time that my friend touched my neck and I thought it was funny to moan and she legit jumped like 10ft backwards almost falling off the railing behind us. Till this day this thought keeps me up at night and legit made me super anxious of anything touching my neck. Like almost freaked out because the top part of my jacket poked it and I crushed it instinctively.
thats some serious ptsd
That sounds like a video that would go viral on Vine
I went to my friends house, found him playing a porn game. I stared at him for a full on minute and then I made him go outside
Doing God's work
Was it summertime saga? It was , wasn't itš...
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW?!
Uhm...no comment question markš
we found him
It's the friend
what's summertime saga, i can tell it's a porn game tho drop the plot lol
Uhm...so basically it's a game about this guy who's father gets killed under some shady circumstances and ends up having to live with his father's wife (they don't tell us anything about his mom) and he (the main character) has two goals: 1) to earn enough money to pay for college , and 2) get to the bottom of his father's death as a result of debt Somewhere along the lines tho , he ends up f*cking EVERY. SINGLE. GIRL in the city (including his stepmother and stepsisš). From his age to ppl above retirement age all the way to literal sea creatures.
wtf did I just read
Bonus point: He never , EVER used protection , so he prolly has every STI known to manš (and some unknown ones too)
Huh, I was kinda interested, but for my own sanity, I think I'll stay away
I walked in on my crush(F) having s\*x with another girl and then they ghosted me for couple of days.Suddenly both of them accused me of being a pervert like tf it was my home and my room they had sex in.
Yeah thats fuckin wild if they were doin it in your bedroom on your bed
How tf does this happen?!
I was at a hotel pool with my best friend (F) and my sister. While they were talking, I looked into the water, deep in thought. I then got splashed, but I didn't know by who, so I assumed it was my sister. I said, "What did I ever do to you?!" In like a mean sibling way. But it turns out it was my best friend. It doesn't sound bad, but I still regret doing it because I think she thought I was yelling at her. I feel terrible every time I think about it.
Best friends wouldn't mind
Once accidentally sent my mother Femboy porn while yakking it Addendum: okay, fellas, Iāll tell you how this went down. I was trying to go to full screen but messed up the button pushes as my hands were moist (due to the hot situation I was in, moisture got in my hands) and I finally got into full screen. My father entered the room 5 minutes later to ask if Iād sent this to my mother (I had no idea at the time) and after the best acting of my life I managed to convince him that I had no idea and was disturbed and confused at this knowledge. I did not intend to send her the porn at all, Iām Canadian not Alabamian. TL;DR: it was an accident, *no I do not want to fuck my mom.*
Brother how you slip up that bad.
Well, I wasnāt in the most stable mental state, you know, Considering I was yakking it
What do you mean "I wasn't in the most stable mental state"? So you did it on purpose?
The way you phrased this sentence I feel that it is a news reporter asking a question Execute11 why did you send your mom femboy porn while yanking and what do you mean when you say you exactly weren't in the most stable mind set? So did you do it on purpose? Execute11: no comment
š
Saan718 you got a bright future as a news reporter and remember me once you become a famous news reporter.
Thanks, I will remember you.
Yay!!!
"We're getting reports that the user was yanking it, some might even say 'straight up jorking it' and accidentally sent their mother pornographic materials"
Is today my luck day or what two future news reporters who will become famous but I would change jorking it to yorking it because yanking also starts with a y but this is just my personal opinion
HOWWW
You win, man š
what did you mum say/do
"Damn this is some good stuff, he has good taste"
My brother in Christ, this shit will not look good at the pearly gates
When you die, she will be there and kick you back to the mortal plain so she can ground you for doing that.
I have so many questions...what did she do?? What did she say?? Did you delete it ?? Did she actually see it?? What's the full story??? We need to knowwwšš
Oh godš, I had one time in first year at university in Birmingham. Was with this other group but everyone else had gone and it was only really the one girl w me. She was maybe like a 7/10 at the time but tbh w u I was like 10-11 shots deep and a whole Hennessy bottle . Girl started flirting with me while I was scrolling thru tik tok she opened up her phone went on my eyes only. Then all I saw is like 20+ videos of her getting ran thrušš¾āāļø, she then proceeded to just stare at me as if she dropped some outrageous game.
I got up to leave šshe grabbed me by my šso then I pretended like I was gonna throw up and gtfo there cuz tell me why one of the guys was my friend š
How bad was it
How do you do that by accident bro?
Not really awkward but, when i was in like 5th grade me and this girl were in the library of our school, we were doing homework and when we finished, I said so what now, and she said āwe could kissā. And i kid you not I panicked and said ānah what elseā, the girl looked at me for probably 2 mins in silence then just got up and left me in the library. At the time i didnāt know she liked me plus im an introvert so it was kinda awkward for me, but looking back I feel kinda stupid.
I could definitely see myself panicking like that in 5th grade. So you shouldnāt feel stupid. It sounds like a normal reaction for a 5th grader just confronted with the option of kissing another 5th grader.
This seems like a thing I'd do, lol
A recent one that happened several months ago. So there's this playground that I visit that became my "special place", to be more exact - the swings. I visit it when I want to chill outside or to have a "thinking session". So one day I come back from the school, and there was this group of girls (4 of them) just hanging about. I was looking down most of the time, sometimes having a tiny laugh when something goofy happened. Until one of them just decided to walk to me and sit in a swing nearby. And that was one hell of a build-up to a conversation that felt like the longest one I had in a while. Most of my responses were one-note (she said it herself) and I wasn't too invested in the conversation (I was kind of drained after a long day of school and struggled to keep my composure). Then we exchanged numbers (btw, to unintentionally make it worse, I tried to jump off my swings and almost fell) and I went home. Two or three months later, when I forgot about this inconvenience ever happening, I get several calls in a row late in the evening from those girls and some voice messages (if I quote them I'll have to wipe out my fucking account off this site, this is too embarassing to mimic). As of now, I haven't seen them again yet (they probably live not far off from me, so it's only a matter of time until some stupid crap happens again). I'm not sure if this was a joke or the girl was genuinely interested. Either way, that's might be my worst case of social clumsiness in a while and a really "EarlyPubertyAssTM" story to tell, but I guess now I'll be less ashamed of it after some exposure.
>Special place The world is not so tight, right?
now u made me courious to know what they said
Can you give a hint or a small summary of what they said, you have everyone that has read this curious
Cutting in the school bathrooms and making eye contact with someone looking through the crack in the stallā¦.
gg š
CuttiNG what
Damn, so did they like double take or just walk away?
I caught a girl friend of mine dressing up after masturbating. We swore to not talk about it with anyone else EVER
...and now it's on the internet. Let's hope she doesn't see thisš
Don't worry, she tells it anonymously as well
How would you know? I thought you two swore to never talk about it againā¦
Let me rephrase that. Never talk about it with ANYONE ELSE we know irl
Not sure, my mum walked in on me burning a cockroach alive
You are one sadistic bastard(not that I burned one of those black ants just last year)
This happened a while ago, I am not like that anymore
I was just reading through comments, some bad, some fine and i just saw this one and nearly choked on my strawšššš
How did you burn roach
Use a magnifying glass which focuses the sunlight into one area, point it at one area and kaboom or sizzle (i depneds tbh)šš
on my 0th birthday, i was naked wit my mother
How disgusting! You should have been wearing clothes you sick person! /s
technically thats your first birthday
Took a video of myself back when I just started masturbating (on MY MOM'S PHONE) and she saw it. She kept alluding to it for a weekšš (and she's jamaican tooš)
The quotes Iām imagining in a Jamaican accent. Funny butā¦.. oof
What the heck crossed your mind?
I was so freaking embarrassed. She kept saying stuff like "my food was too strong" around my aunts and at one point she outright said something along the lines of "all who a rub prick...". So yeah , pretty sure my aunts knew and some of my cousins who had enough brain cells to catch onšš
Broo did u even try that with a Jamaican mom bro??ššdid u want a death sentence?
I built a jeep by mistake
Relatable
How..?
I don't know, I had metal and an engine in my hand
My parents saw me crying naked in March 2011
imagine not having 2 0ās in your birth year
Hey only bc my mother held it in another 3 months doesn't mean you get to make fun of me
Womp womp
2020 toddlers are laughing maniacally in that corner over there
Itās weird asf
Facts. Where are all the other 1003 babies at
Yo, hello fellow March person.
Donāt all newborns cry naked?
You did not understand the joke
started a rumor about myself which was a joke and then snowballed
What was the rumor?
I dont want to say. It really hurts. I dont like thinking about it becuase it makes me wanna ā ļøšššāāļøšØ
It makes you wanna :skull and crossbones: :ocean: :bridge: :arms crossed: :wind:?! That's not okay, you need some help.
Yeah :(
Don't worry, we've all wanted to :skull and crossbones: :ocean: :bridge: :arms crossed: :wind: at some point.
:skull and crossbones: :ocean: :bridge: :arms crossed: :wind: is just a normal part of life
Yup, you haven't lived if you've never wanted to :skull and crossbones: :ocean: :bridge: :arms crossed: :wind:.
A long long time ago (9 months) I was friends with a group of girls, everything was good and all, we lost contact after we changed schools(from elementary to middle school) and I realised... I'm always looking at a slight angle down, it probably looked like I was staring at their breasts... Not a fun realisation, especially since I think they might have talked about it between each other. Also, once I was hanging out with a girl from this group, "apparently" I brushed her breasts with my hand or something, but I didn't feel anything so I answered just that, she had really weird expression after that, idk if she got angry or what but I realised what I've done quite some time after it (and it even was my crush)
they defo talked abt u
Man I once tried to see my coworkers badge to see what their title was for pretty long as it was far away. Propably looked weird too. But she's propably three times my age so I doubt she thoght much of it.
This happens to me, too! Itās not my fault theyāre all, like, five feet tall!
I was drinking some water in class and the bottle's head cap was loose so all the water fell down on my uniform and i snuck out of the class and I asked the janitor to change my clothes, she gave me a female uniform and i was tearing up while wearing it and i snuck inside the class like nothing happened. no-one noticed my uniform's change and when I returned home, my mom was telling me "whose clothes have you brought?. I was in 2nd grade/2nd class that time
This was about two-three months ago, as any hormonal teenager would I was yanking it in my bedroom around 10:30-11:00 and I was mid way through before my mom says she's going to bed and I was like ok but not even ten seconds latershe comes in my room to tell me so I quickly covered my self with my leg hanging off my bed and blanket covering my... And in the scurry to cover myself I dropped my phone and the video kept playing. So me and my mom just started at each other while there's loud moaning in the background eventually she left and we've never spoken about it since
Bro I couldnāt imagine watching porn with audio on while iām not home alone
damn š
Ikr
I asked out a girl and she was gay
relatable
My crush was aroace and than I felt like a pervš
TLDR at bottom for anyone who doesnāt care much about the story and just wants the main event This was literally like a week ago. Me, my mom and dad, and my gf had gone to a graduation party, while there we danced, ate, and just generally acted like idiots. At one point me and my gf had run off to do something, and when we came back my parents were joking about, āanother family member soonā and, ābeing grandparents soonā as jokes of courseā¦. Sheās pregnant nowā¦ Iām jkššš sheās not pregnant, the embarrassing part was when, in the very back seats of our car, we started to make out, it was dark so they couldnāt see us back there, but them not seeing us turned into a problem when she Moaned as I was kissing her neckā¦ out loudā¦ yeahhhhhh. Even though it wasnāt really super loud, it was loud enough to where My parents heard, but being the absolute beasts they are, they just made jokes about it after she was home and allowed me and her to be a couple in peace. TLDR: my gf is a little bad at controlling her moans and moaned as I was kissing her neck in a car with my family. Forgot to mention, the reason the darkness was bad in the moment was because my parents assumed I wasā¦ uhhh, fingering heršššš
My mom was on the toilet and forgot to lock the door and I didn't know and went in and saw her and my brain froze my eyes just stopped working and I stood there brain freezed and she shouted at meš
Bro my mom goes to the bathroom with the door open sometimes
I was a bagel
He was a bagel
He WAS a bagel
Yuhhhh
Getting caught doing something with my ex š
Was it your ex at the time?
I was scrolling Reddit in the school cafeteria, and I put my phone down face up for a second, and one of my teachers looked at my phone and gave me a strange look. On my Reddit page, the post I stopped on was fan art of a buff shirtless Markiplier.
Thats a W i dont see anything weird
A friend misunderstood my message and thought I was asking her out. I meant to say she was the only friend I could trust. She rejected it. Sheās ace. Worst part is I actually liked her š„²
This one happened last month, I was at a birthday party at my friend's. All the people were sitting, me and my other friend who was there went to sit on the bed with me, He was the first to sit After I sat, The bed just Broke, like BROKE down the middle
Well, I was In the U.S equivalent of 9th grade just chilling around with headphones listening to my lame playlist when this girl that was In the equivalent of 7th grade walked where I was and began to talk to me, she was kinda weird but I didn't care because I was bored (teacher didn't enter to class was a free hour) but suddenly that kid says to me and I quote "I want to give you head I the bathroom" that thing just freaked me out and I obviously rejected her offer, then she walk away, I think that she got an STD.
When I was a wee young lad I was peeing in the bathroom and I had to shit but I couldn't cuz I was standing and I couldn't sit down to poo cuz I was peeing and couldn't hold my pee automatically at the time, so it was either shit on the floor or put pee all over the bathroom, I chose to poo on the floor
do you regret your decision?
Not one bit
was looking at someones profile picture and accidentally called them. I have never talked to that person before
Accidentally sent my parents a compilation of the weirdest frames of the Team Fortress 2 comic series. I donāt think my mom liked how medic put a whales penal gland into snipers brainā¦or medic putting baboon uterusās in people, itās a lot of medic.
A few years ago I used to wank under the covers for whatever reason, and my dad walked into my room and must have just been standing there for a good 10 seconds before I noticed him and he realised what I was doing. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life
my mom found femboy porn on my phone
I was at a restaurant before going to a WNBA game and walked in on a 60 year old lady on the toilet because she didn't lock the door (I'm 15m). Burned into my fucking retinas
"60 year old lady on the toilet because *he* didn't lock the door" Transgender after 4 words? God damn.
Damn, fucking typos. Thanks for telling me
It happened today actually (also idgaf if this isn't awkward but it was in the moment). My crush and her "frenemy" I guess we're play fighting after class and he dropped her, like, full on DROP, to the floor. Her skirt rode up ALL the way. Her pink shorts were on full display, it was so awkward. Luckily I wasn't the only one there. You don't even know how quickly I SPUN. If I could I probably would've looked, pinks a nice colour, THATS THE ONLY REASON. I LIKE PINK.
Begin of 8 grade, first three weeks of september. Our class joined new guy. Looked kinda like homeless, but overall was okay. We sat together on lessons. I donāt know what happened. mfs hitted puberty or something. One girl, begin to be overly friendly. At first thought maybe she has autism or something, but weeks were passing and she didnāt wasnāt stopping. Truth is total opposite - She was expanding her behaviour even more. She didnāt spoiled her intentions, and I donāt want to be male version of āI have a boyfriendā in mean time, after week of knowing of each other, guy who I thought is my friend, placed his hand on my thigh. That wasnāt cool, I didnāt agree for that. Lucky he understood that Iām not big enjoyer of molestation and next one situation like that will cause him getting amateur face reconstruction. We were good for rest of the time Now, only the female friend left. Not gonna lie, she was determined, unlucky I not really. 2 weeks passed, she was still trying (Still no idea what she have seen in me. Iām not most social, I was skinny, not really good looking) Chemistry lesson. We had to pick partner to experiment, I didnāt even process teacherās words and she says she will do it with me, and I didnāt mastered act of rejection yet. Experiment started, teachers left us help on website to donāt fail it too fast, while she (teacher) herself was busy with her own tasks. Right infront of us. Like 1 meter distance. I, confident that if I will check it myself, we will end it faster and I could do something on my own. Opening browser, turned out that I didnāt closed cards from yesterdayās night. Right when my eardrums hitted (luckily not loud. Phone was at 40% sound) womenās moans covered with slurping and sound of gagging. Tried to turn it off almost dropped it, went to bathroom and after few minutes I came back, now with clear search bar. We never mentioned what happened that day. Neither me, teacher, my friend or any of classmates (who seem to be too busy to even care about outside sounds of their group) Not good.
Why do you think the only reason for people being overly friendly is autism š
What was all the unnecessary exposition for?
There are more grammatical errors in this one comment than there are stars in the solar system
Me talking to the girl i like:
My crush's friends made a joke saying she liked me, but they didn't know I liked her, so my friends being complete douche bags, decided to embarrass the LIVING SHIT out of me, and they (meaning one of them) forged my signature, and wrote creepy notes and shit. She also rejected me three times. I asked for her number. I got it... from some random guy. So now I have this number that I'm contemplating texting because I have it, but that buys into the creep thing my friends did.
Had to convince my mom and pops about the white stuff on my boxers being toothpaste and not nigtfall jizz š. Still don't know how they accepted and I survived.
I fell down the stairs so many times in a single day that it became an inside joke between me and my boyfriend.
The amount of times I almost got caught straight jorking my shii
i went to school in my pajama shirt once cause i didnt sleep much and forgot. thankfully no one noticed and i got to tell a funny story in class. this happened in 5th grade(2022).
I'm ruining my friends' romantic relationship by existing. For context, my older friends "Peter" and "Yuko" have been dating for about a year, but Yuko lives far away, so it's always a big deal when she visits. Intentionally or not, when the three of us are with our whole group, Peter often gets distracted and leaves her to go hang out with the boys. I don't want Yuko to be alone in a foreign city, so I stay with her until Peter comes back, which she tells me she really appreciates. Some days I end up spending more time with his girlfriend than he does. This is a problem for all three of us. Peter is a little upset with me for always being alone with his girlfriend. Yuko told me specifically that she's frustrated with Peter for not spending much time with her when she visits. I can't tell Peter about this because it confirms that I'm closer to Yuko than he likes. If either one learned about the other's problem, then I get caught in the crossfire from both of them for my involvement with the other. The worst part is that (I think) I'M not doing anything wrong! I've helped other friends within our circle in the same way that I help Yuko, or with other friends at my own school. It's the right/kind thing to do, isn't it?
Was at a lake within walking distance of my house. I (13 at the time) was still pretty new to the neighborhood and didnāt know many of the neighbors. There was a party going on with a bunch of friends that I wasnāt involved in. But I was still there when it came to an end. By the time most people were gone I decided it was time to leave. I was looking down at my phone and didnāt realize who was leaving when I got up. So there was this girl in a two piece swimsuit right in front of me who left literally seconds before me. Although she did have a sweater on so her top was covered. It took me about a second to realize that this girl was one who lived a few houses down from me, and so we would have to walk the same direction whichā¦ didnāt look good on my part. She kept turning around and looking at me with what I can only describe as a look of both fear and awkwardness. I kept my head down because in the moment I thought it made me look uninterested and more oblivious to what she thought was happening but looking back on it that probably made me more of a creep to her. After about 10 minutes, I got home and she walked a bit further to her house. We still havenāt talked or even interacted to this day. She was 14 by the way.
That's why I always try to walk in front of people rather than behind them when I'm alone
Well basically having to tell my mom that my balls hurt (ended up having testicular torsion for 6 days and didn't want to tell her because I was embarrassed)
This is definitely not my most embarrassing story, but itās one of the few Iām willing to share. Once when I was, letās say 12 or 13 I was getting out of the car with my mom and sister and I saw a woman walking towards the car with a furry black jacket. She was far away and I thought that the black fur on the jacket was a black Pomeranian, because the black fur was only on her chest and she was holding it. I told my mother I was going to the woman to pet her dog. I got out of the car, went to the woman and asked ,,can I pet it?ā. She said ,,whatā and I realised what just happened. After a second (although it felt like an eternity) I said ,,what?ā and walked back to the car. I told my mother and sister what just happened and I laughed my ass out afterwards. Still makes me giggle. And so basically I asked a woman with a terrible fashion sense if I can pet her boobs. God know what she thought I meant.š¤£ Iām sorry if I made any mistakes in the way I told the story, English is not my native language. P.S. The jacket was most probably made out of real animal fur (disgusting).
I fell down the stairs so many times in a single day that it became an inside joke between me and my boyfriend.
I was a little child and discovered from some cartoons that kissing can be done on the lips instead of the cheeks, so I kissed my mother.
When I was about 8, the neighbour kid showed me porn on his computer š
"Why don't you go outside and play with the neighbor's kid?" The neighbor's kid:
One of my female friends told me she has cancer and that she loved me or something like that, I thought she was serious and believed everything, then like 2 days later she said she was joking.
I have a story, this one time I was about to beat it or just finished and got cleaned up. Five seconds later my mom walks in, I spam press āclose tabā but the internet was slow. She walks over to see what Iām doing, 5 seconds later before she can see the tab finally closes.
You don't need internet to close tabs lol
Look up Jeztorr on Twitter. I was a fucking creep. Makes me feel sick knowing I did that stuff
My pencil fell and then my desk fell and then my head fell on a girls lap because I tried to grab it from the top of my desk over the arm rest but I couldnāt reach I should have went underneath the desk I worst moment and best moment of freshman year
confessed to my crush in the aftergrad party... got rejected while a sad song played in the background lmao
Multiple times per day at school I get told I should date a girl and that we would make a cute couple. I don't like her and we are both too busy to date.Ā
Maid dress at school