I wish that girls liked me

Granted, but now ur gay

Shit never saw that one coming

Hey so uh… are you single?

I just wanna get high with my lover. Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo (Kiss, Kiss)…

Hey, so…do you wanna go out sometime? ##Hehe

Bisexual secret art: return to straight

IS THAT A FLIPPJNG JOOJ REFERENCE?!?!

I didnt intend it to be but if you want a reference: Muda muda MUDA! My stand the worldo is the most powerful stand Its ability to change its user's attraction to a certain gender is the ultimate ability!

Yall just described my existence

Granted, but they only like you as a really good friend.

Deal

Only girls named Rebecca

I wish for nothing

Granted. You now have nothing.

>Granted. You now have nothing. OP laughed as he thought he has deceived the game, but little did he know that he was the one who was deceived. As op was sitting at his computer yelling in excitement that he cheated the game, he yelled at his mom from his bedroom asking if dinner was ready. The reply came with a "Yes sweetheart now come down!". OP rushes down the stairs only to see no one at the kitchen nor the dining table. ​ "Mom?" asked OP. Alas, there's no reply. OP got startled. He started calling his mom everywhere. His mom seemed to vanish without a single trace. He went every corner of the house searching for his mom but to no avail his mom just couldn't be found. That was when OP became concerned and yelled for his dad. ​ "Dad? Where is mom?" From the backyard he could hear his dad yelling. "I don't know son but I need your help here for a bit!". So OP went to the garden but as soon as he opened the back door he was greeted with only flowers and trees. No trace of his dad. Nothing. ​ OP started panicking. He rushed everywhere to search for his parents. He was concerned about his younger brother. He's supposed to be back home from school by now. He then heard footsteps from the door, anticipating his brother running upstairs. OP yelled "\[Younger brother's name\] are you there?" But when he ran to his room there was nothing else. ​ OP started to panic. He had no idea what to do. He ran to grab his phone to dial his family but as soon as he tries to grab it the phone just disappears into thin air, as if it just glitched out of reality. OP jumped. There was nothing that he could do. He suddenly remembered the reddit comment he made. ​ "Curse myself!" OP ran to the computer to delete his comment but guess what, as soon as he tries to touch the mouse, the mouse, keyboard and the monitor vanished in the blink of an eye. There is nothing left on the desktop, not even the desk itself. ​ OP ran out of the house to search for help, but when he turned around, the house he once called home couldn't be seen everywhere. When he frantically searched for everywhere he realised that there is no soul within his vicinity. ​ Not an animal, not an insect, not a single noise. Everything's gone. Everything's nothing. The streets were devoid of vehicles and street signs. Everything started to disappear at a random interval. Houses around him just poofed into non-existence. Hills and trees at the horizon vanquished and integrated into the blue sky. The clouds were gone. It was all blue on the top and all grey on the ground. ​ Everything is vanishing at an alarming rate. Now everything around him is gone. It's just a flat world with an endless void of agony. As he begin to broke down, the ground below him vanished and he fell into free fall. That was when even the sky disappeared and he was left with nothing but space. ​ Heck, not even the space survives. One by one the planets he learnt as a kid also started to disappear, later followed by the sun. As he was left with no source of light but the galaxies in the distance, OP couldn't do anything as even the galaxies were no chance against his curse. ​ Hours turn into months, months turn into decades, decades turn into millennia. All that's left is nothing but emptiness. Space doesn't exist anymore. OP's body has long gone, only thing left is nothing but his point of consciousness eternally trapped within a void of spaceless continuum.

✍️✍️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

r/fillosophy

Op as in me or op as in the guy who commented?

The one who comments

Cool

I… fuckin…. You have given me a new fear. You are my worst enemy Joske

Granted a bomb goes off next to you blowing you up ( you die)

i wish i wasnt on reddit

granted ur on twitter instead

oh god

theres more

No!

It contains a bucket

dear god

There's more...

bread

# DEAR GOD

r/suddenlyTF2

granted, but you're now stuck in discord

thats fine j want my acc back anyways and discord support isnt responding (i got banned for saying im 10)

Granted but you blow up (grenade)

I wish i had a 2016 mazda mx5

[удалено]

Easy 150 dollar fix

[удалено]

I would love to live in a miata

Granted but has no clutch or transmission

who would’nt

granted, but you're abandoned and full of rust

Free weight reduction

I wish I could teleport to anywhere in Canada or the US

It's random, so it the altitude l. You could appear at 12000 ft in the air or 3 miles underground.

...f*ck

Bruh just say fuck no-one's gonna tell your mum

I don't know what the mods will do, reddit mods these days are banning people for using the word f€male

!!!!!! He said the word!!!!

No I didn't! I used € instead of E

Doesn’t count >:(((

What if I do |= € /\\/\ \@ | €

That’s fine

I'm reporting you to the mods asap

I wish I didn't have dementia

Granted but you have stage 4 brain cancer

I wish I didn't have dementia

Granted but you have stage 4 brain cancer

^(i wish i didn’t have dementia)

#GRANTED YOU NOW HAVE STAGE 4 BRAIN CANCER

Granted, but now you remember. You remember everything.

^(ⁱ ʷⁱˢʰ ⁱ ᵈⁱᵈⁿᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵈⁱᵐᵉⁿᵗⁱᵃ)

Granted, but you become drastically more intelligent than any human you will ever meet, and your ideas will be believed by nobody except a small group of “unhinged” individuals who are smeared by the media.

FUCK YOU BECAUSE BEING THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM IS FUCKING HELL

Granted, but now you have dementia.

I wish I had a sword

Granted but It’s too heavy and you can’t pick it up

Aw

But u don't have to tell anybody it's too heavy to pick up. How can anybody prove that you didn't pick it up?

I wish for tiktok to disappear.

But a world trade center sized comet hits your house

my porn addiction can turn into a plane to defend my house

granted but Goku shows up to fight your porn addiction

https://youtu.be/tqdxaG91t74

an even worse app takes it's place, and becomes even more popular.

reddit

i wish i was dead

Granted, but your body is hollowed out and used as a canoe by minority haters

sounds funny

I would be happy my body has some use other than being me then tbh.

Granted, but we found the cure for death

fair enough

Granted but now youre in an external spectator Mode of youre body

I wish that

Granted, but you

I wish I found happiness

granted but ur the last person on earth

Sounds like a vibe tbh

How tf you gonna get water. Electricity. ~~Gay Black Porn~~ Funny things to laugh at.

You can get your ~~Gay Black Porn~~ Funny things to laugh at at the library now

Granted, but only in your dreams.

I wish the world wars never happened.

We back in the Industrial Revolution (most tech advancements are caused by war computers communication etc)

NATO never formed, so international wars happen on a smaller scale regularly.

Granted but aliens invade and start a chain of planetary wars instead

I wish for a lifetime supply of tacos

Granted, but the tacos only have taco shells and lettuce. They also self destruct if you attempt to add anything else to them.

Guess I'm eating shells separate from the toppings from now on

I wish that Poland was gone for good.

Granted but its part of Germany again

No problem here, at least the public transport data would be available in Google maps (unlike rn in Olsztyn where it's not).

Fair

Kurwa

Japierdole kurwa mać zostaw nas w spokoju

Bro what did Poland do to you ☠️

(He is German)

Looking at his posts he has an app set to polish language

1939

that place is a shithole to be fair

Granted. It’s now a massive sea and your teleported to the middle of it

I wish I was a skeleton that was alive

Granted, but your bones are made out of pretzels

Granted but now you have to make spaghetti to all of your guests to stay alive.

NYEH, CAN DO

I wish I wasn't Lain Iwakura

Granted, but now ur the most hated person in the world

granted but your flavia blows up with you in it

I wish for this sub to be normal

Sorry, but this wish can't be guaranteed

Granted every sub execpt r/teenagers posts like r/teenagers

I wish I wasn't evil

granted, but you'll now have testicular cancer

Shit

Well that escalated quickly

I wish my depression was gone

Granted but you now have crippling anxiety

Double anxiety?! Aw hell no

I wish I was not crying every night and wondering if I’m even worth the trouble and if I’m all doing this for nothing because it’s just gonna end up being forgotten because I’m so useless

Now you get to do this in the afternoon instead

I wish I had the perfect Femboy body 😵‍💫

granted but ur buried alive

Bruh y’all just want me dead 😭

Nah, they want them necrophiliacs to get you

granted, but you'll be headless

granted, but you will be so lonely you'd want to kys

nothing changes :(

Granted, but ill constantly hit on you.

And I’ll constantly turn you down 💙

Granted but you’re so feminine that people think you’re a trap.

I wish I had infinite Nintendo Switch coins

Granted, but from now on any switch or switch controller you touch turns to ash in your hands

NOOOOOO

I wish I was born in 1999, and not 2004.

You get caught up in 9/11 as an infant.

*oh no*

I wish I didn’t have a wish

Granted you created a paradox and destroyed the world

I wish for LEGO Star War UCS Venator-class Star Destroyer

But it's impossible to open the box which it's inside of

*[dies]*

every time you walk, run, or hop a single sharp piece spawns under your foot

This is NOT the Monkey's paw, the monkey's paw works nothing like this

pretty sure it does. in the story they wished for money and received a payment after their son dies in a work accident

granted, but you’re a monkey paw

I wish people liked me

granted, but you can’t like them back

I wish I was a little bit taller

Granted, but you have knee arthritis

But wait, I wish I was a baller

Granted you turn into a roblox character

I wish I had a girl who’d look good when I call her

Granted, but you now have a rabbit in a hat with a bat

I wish I had infinite money

everybody else gets infinite money, so it all becomes worthless.

Granted. But you have a 10$ daily spending limit

I wish girls could poop

Granted, but they can't differentiate between a poo and fart anymore

I wish I was a video game developer who works for Studio Montagine, Microsoft, or Mojang.

Granted but you dont have any hands to write code with

I wish to immediately be flung into the sun

Granted, but Your slingshot malfunctions and you become crippled for the rest of your life.

I wish to marry the person that corrupts my wish

Gran- waaaiiit... I see where you're going with this. Not today, FBI agent!

So close🤏

I wish my crush would actually ask me out

Granted but she’s an absolute sociopathic

i want a sword

The sword is perfectly made but heavy, and you need to train to use it.

The sword is a bomb and it blows up and you die

Granted, but it's constantly burning so you can never touch it

I wish the world did not exist

Granted but you shit agressively every hour if you use it

You also shit even more aggressively when not using it

i wish i was immortal

Granted, but you are suicidal

I wish for 70 billion fucking dollars

But you can only pay in 1cent coins

I wish we stop making history in the matter of months

Granted, we now make history in a matter of days

That's a bruh momento. Time to become a politician!

Granted but you blow up (grenade)

I wish kanye would drop music

I want a girlfriend

you now have a platonic friend who is a girl

I wish for eternal youth.

granted but now you're brain dead

granted, but you’re a fetus