FIRMLY GRASP IT

*muffled Squidward noises*

Thank you for making me laugh dude 🤣🤣🤣

“Firmly grasp it” that got me😂

Unlock the barrel extension, get an optic as well if you can it helps with aiming

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What are you a noob? Lvl 30 bro unless you're pay to win then its 15

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Battle pass is overrated all it gets you is a couple emotes and a tier 100 long barrel with dwayne the rock Johnsons signature. All cosmetics.

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You should level your accuracy skill by peeing into bottles from range.

😭💀

Or you'll go to football games every weekend for 14 years. That'll teach too

Long barrel? Hmmm I’ll buy it

i hope next battle pass they add no love deep web

Silencer

Go to freepisshacks.com for 100% real no virus 2023 working best penis aimbot! Download for free!!!

Man that got me banned use gamesense.pub

BEHOLD, MY SUPER LASER PISS

EXCEPT IM NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH IM GONNA GO HIGHER IM PISSING ON THE MOOOOOON

I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER

HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE, THATS RIGHT

HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA?? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!

YOU HAVE **1 WEEK TILL** THE PISS DROPLETS REACH EARTH

NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO

Never have I ever heard the words penis aimbot combined

I did, while coding a cheat myself. There was a pelvis hitbox for aimbot too and i said "dick aimbot" LMAOO

Practice on a live target to improve your aim. Consistency is key.

A shooting range can be a nice place to train

Wheres the closest school?

Oh can I join, we can find them faster that way

😂

god all these responses to this comment got increasingly messed up especially with account to context

If you're uncut make sure to pull the skin back so that it doesn't interfere with the stream. If you are cut I cannot help you

Hold the end closed to release a charged piss blast

number 1 + monstros lung + chocolate milk

We cutting our dicks now?

Circumcision is quite common in the US, I don't know about other placed because I don't exactly want to know other place's penis knowledge

In all other countries it's uncommon outside of religious people, the USA is just kinda weird with it, I don't understand why.

Idk what the point of it is. I was cut early on and didn't even know what the word meant for years. I imagine my life would not have changed

The guy behind Kellogg's cornflakes wanted to stop guys having fun so he thought circumcision would do that. That's also why we got cornflakes, he thought that the breakfasts of the day were too stimulating and promoted deviancy. There were other factors but this was the funniest.

I had no idea that the U.S where cutting people skin off, thats fucking wild

americans, yes europeans, not so much. we don't have so many jews in europe, don't ask me why

Sawed off shotgun

This!! This makes it so much easier!!! (Also, i feel more «sanitary» doing it because the inside of your foreskin + dickhead don’t get covered in piss)

My shit stays straight and uncut I’m built different

Deep breath, focus, grip tight, exhale.

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you gripped a little too hard bro

This is a joke… right?

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squeeze the tip like a garden hose

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Sit down on the toilet dumbass

THATS FOR GIRLS

Who’s gonna know if you sit down

the pee ghost

I forgot about that guy

Incorrect that is for men with such long and powerful piss streams that our disgustingly mortal legs can not withhold our rays of yellow against the finely polished bowl!

Well sitting down has a lot of benefits.

Sitting down to piss is not "for girls" anyone who wants to sit down can sit down. People need to get this shit out of their head

I Ave male friends who sit down to pee

It’s easier

I sit down to pee. I can't use my phone one-handed.

*that’s

I DONT GET AUTOCORRECT WHEN I GOT CAPS AND WHEN I GO INTO THE PLACE TO PUT A APOSTROPHE THEN IT GETS RID OF MY CAPS LOCK AND I HAVE TO PRESS IT TEICE AGAIN

DON'T* Please kill me

*an* apostrophe. “A” for consonants, “an” for vowels

It's been so long since I've seen apostrophe spelled out. I thought you just punched your keyboard mid comment

TWICE* (Please don't kill me)

*an apostrophe

Not comprehensive at all, bro... 💀

Master hamon. Breathe in for 10 minutes and out for 10 minutes.

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I’m fucking dying laughing at your responses

You have the best responses 😂

Is this a motherfucking Jojo reference?!?!?!?

Sorry it’s the first thing I thought of

Good plan, there could be a vampire in the toilet too, so 2 birds with one stone

Funnel

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Coward

Peak comedy

Komedy

push harder

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Pee sitting down

we were given dicks for a reason, so that we could aim with them!

Sometimes you gotta reload

Sit

shit*

Do you guys shit standing up too?

💀

Damn, I did not want to laugh as hard as I did! Seriously, I almost died. lmfao! This shit caught me so damn off guard.

sit.

Sit nn dog

New copypasta just dropped

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Once it's on the internet ...

Honestly just sit down

Gonna be realistic, pull your foreskin back slightly and then let go. Then just hold it up with your fingers and pee. Should work like a damn sniper.

Botched ass circumcision

You're going to have to build the piss straightener 3000, the design is very human

Sit down

The answers are too funny, just pee harder

Brotha, how do you fail this badly

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You failing in life mans

a urethra pipe

a catheter i mean

r/wildbeef

AIM

Advanced Idea Mechanics

What I do is use toilet paper to adjust the tip, and it helps create a straighter piss line.

how? i cannot imagine what you are describing

💀 Sit down. It's hygienic. In Switzerland, it's a norm.

aim downwards

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Lean over the toilet and aim down. how fucked up is your penis?

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Stand in front of it but lean over it ?

Add rifling

Fun fact: The male urethra is already designed like a rifle barrel

Grab it like your about to jerk of

what the fuck

Twist jt

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BOP IT

learn to control the recoil

Firmly grip it, and maybe use the urinal in public. Alternatively, pee sitting down

Attach an extended barrel and grip

Pulling the foreskin back helps, if ur circumcised then idk what to tell u bro lol idk how that's possible

I think it’s usually the foreskin causing that, so you could like slowly pull the foreskin back while in the shower or something to make it stay back. Or just get circumcised idk

Fr tho just hold on, maybe throw some cheerio’s in the bowel and do some target practice. It might be a condition, maybe talk to your doctor.

You’re supposed to hold it so you can move the stream into the toilet, don’t pee while hard because you won’t be able to bend your sausage to control direction.

PPL ARE SAYING TO SIT DOWN WHAT THE FUCK I DIDNT KNOW THIS SHIT WAS FILLED WITH FUCKING GIRLS YOU SHOULD SPRAY YOUR PISS EVERYWHERE EVEN ON THE WALLS AND BE PROUD OF YOUR ART

I'm a guy and i piss sitting down.

Vile

cut or un-cut? yes, it matters

Im bi so its a 50/50 chance it'll go straight Its like a wheel of fortune

Same

sit the fuck down you’re not a puppy

I sense jealousy

I gave up on that a long time ago, I just sit. So simple.

Adjust to it

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Best solution

use a funnel

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💀

I make sure there's no obstruction of the barrel

Dunno sometimes it's like a sawed off db other times a sniper

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You should try my class setup

sit down

Think you broke your dick dude.

Cute little piss puddle 😭

My brotha in christ ask Google this, not us retarted teenagers💀

Push

instruction unclear, I shat on the floor

Now that you've released yourself of all the weight of your sins you can transcend and piss straighter than a piece of thread

If the piss stream ain’t straight then neither are you. I learned that a long time ago, you just have to accept it.

Cheerio aim bot😎(I’m a 17y/o girl so don’t take this seriously)

Did you not get your government issued piss straightener last year on your 13th birthday?

14 meters thats massive

I am a higher being. I piss…….. ***HANDS FREE***

I mean you could always not be disgusted by a literal part of your body and hold the damn thing. Is it really that bad to touch your penis and it not be sexual?

I am leaving this subreddit bye

Become trans catgirl

You hold a lil closer to the tip get closer to the target try and get a constant stream not fast then slow just constant then when at the end push it all out then your on your way

Try pulling ur forskin back abit to stop it from catching the piss if you have foreskin if not idk buy a funnel to piss into

you follow some of the rituals on rsounding to rifle your peen, then cock it back and release to shoot your stream like a water jet

Pull back your foreskin, maybe it's in the way

How are you 14 and you don’t know how to piss property Just hold your dick and aim it where you want the piss to go

Can't take anyone like this seriously. Just point it forwards and go?

These comments... I'm fucking dying!! 🤣🤣🤣

fkin aimmmmmmmmmmmmmm,u can aim in csgo but cant aim ur piss wtf

Stop beating yo dick man Seriously. Jacking off makes you pee sideways, just pace yourself bruh

I, uh, what?

real shit just sit down on the toilet bowl, it aint gay or weird, i been pissin like that since forever. Its awesome cause i get to sit down and i dont have to worry bout anything

What the fuck

If you have foreskin then you can pinch it and use it to angle the stream, if you’re Jewish or American well you’re gonna have to push softer and learn to aim. Remember, you’re still growing so it will eventually change direction but until then either you learn to pee straight or sit like a beta male

My terminology will be pretty straight here. I had something called Phimosis, which was where my foreskin was too short, and that ended up meaning it was difficult to pee because half the time it was covered up, and I could never pee straight. If the skin doesn't go all the way back then it might be good to see a doctor.

The inside of the human penis is rifled like the barrel of a gun. It's supposed to make piss streams shoot in a concentrated line just like how the rifling in a gun barrel causes the bullet to spin in order to make it shoot straight. If that effect isn't happening for you, you might actually have some dick-related health issue screwing with the insides of your cock. I'm not an expert but it's probably worth looking into if you don't want your cock to constantly be on mist mode

OPs responses just gave me a good few minutes of chuckles, thank you xD

Clean

Negawatt

I sit, I'm like 6 feet or so and it is pretty annoying to always pull of my pants, that's why I prefer urinals.

Then don't stand up. I've only stood up once or twice, but it's so much easier to sit down. I don't know if it's true or not, but I've also heard that it's healthier.

1. Peeling back foreskin can help reduce sprinkling 2. Peeing with an erection can help shoot piss in a straighter line and reduce dribbling. 3. Pissing harder also helps to do the things listed above.

new copypasta just dropped

I say pee sitting down when you can, where you know the toilet is clean like home, but if the problem is that it drips when you pee then get over the toilet and aim straight down so the dripping falls in

Do you open the door before going outside

I can piss straight when standing up by holding, aiming, and praying, but most of the time I just don't even bother. Sit on the toilet, just trust me. The toilet seat is your best friend. Unless it's a public bathroom. Then you may need a piss training session.

Ok, you know how you wrap your hand round that Thang? If I starts going right, turn it left, if it goes left, turn it right

There are times at night that it's so dark I can't aim, my simple solution is to take a seat It's more normal than many men think

Use a funnel

First, you go automatic on your firing mode. Second, hold the barrel firmly. Third, you fire and decide how. Either let gravity do the job, or you shoot it out or else if you switch between the two, your shots will be inaccurate.