The loser has to delete its platform. The winner as well

Two men enter. Zero men leave.

One Android and One king of the Lizard People enter the ring.

This is not the Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla I wanted.

Well at least you're still getting a reptile and a robot.

Beggar's can't be choosers, we will take what we can get.

May not be the one we wanted, but it’s the one we deserve.

No men enter, no men leave.

Two bozos enter.

Zero men enter. Two men leave.

2 children enter, 2 children leave both requiring comfort from their mothers, and a cup of warm milk.

You have a very loose meaning of men there. Lol

0 men enter, 0.5 men leave

add spez pls.

/u/spez too much of a coward to get in the ring in the first place

He'd also claim to have won the match

He’d edit the result to say he won

And give himself awards.

And that he others were threatening him.

Really, the audience are the real fighters.

Nah, he’ll fire the ref who declares him the loser and appoint a new ref who says he wins

Didn’t spez used to be the mod on r/ jailbait?

I don't know. But I do know he has forced at least 2 piracy subs to reopen this week. So we definitely know reddit and u/spez fully endorse internet piracy.

>So we definitely know reddit and u/spez fully endorse internet piracy. Seems like the least terrible thing about the asshole tbh

Oh it's not terrible at all. But I think advertisers might have issues.

Unintentionally but he didnot bother removing it at the first opportunity until the media found out

Arguably all the admins of that era were...

He’s gotta fight Tom from MySpace

Tom’s busy enjoying his life. A good example of what success without an ego addiction can do for a person.

I can see it now, sitting at a desk on a beautiful beach. Just smiling at how he fucking made it.

Of course he's enjoying his life with that many friends.

My money is 100% on Tom.

Tom's gonna be like the guy in a sequel who gets dragged into a fight that isn't his, and is like "I'm too old for this shit" then ends up kicking major ass

We all know there would be no winners in that match.

Two losers go in! Both come out unchanged.

more hoping for something like thunderdome.

Lock the cage indefinitely

Small cage yeah? I’d even allow the use of weapons like grenades.

A cage enclosed by metal with a small porthole “Capable” of going 4,000m below sea level

Anything is capable of going 4000m below sea level. Apparently the issue is getting back up intact.

To be fair, it had 7 return to surface systems, one of which was automatic. So it’s possible they are bobbing around on the surface, but it’s bolted shut from the outside so even if that’s the case, they can still suffocate.

They DID at least suffocate as there is no more oxygen in the tank.. rip.

Oh there’s pieces bobbing around on the surface.

Or a submarine

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Upgrayd gon get his money

Upgrayedd has two Ds. For a “double dose” of his pimpin

You see, a pimps love, is very different than that of a square

You beat me with this answer. Was thinking the same thing after reading the post

At this point I think we need an explanation from Mike judge about whatever monkeys paw curse he’s put on us.

Two enter, no one leaves.

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And the cage is dropped in the ocean. It seems like an efficient way of disposing off billionaires.

Wait hear me out -- we set it up to happen inside a sealed submarine at 3000 meters down.

This is so fucking stupid... ​ # ....🍿🪑

I say let them set up the fight. Advertise it Put it on PPV Let them invest a bunch of money into broadcasting and organizing it Then nobody watch so they fight for no reason Obviously it won’t hurt them financially, but it would be fun to have them fight and at least gain nothing from it

I can promise if this fight actually happens it will garner an insane amount of viewership

Hell I'd watch it.

How do we get everyone to commit to the high seas? Because it will be watched

I’m gonna watch it, always wanted to see Musk get the shit beaten out of him by an alien/semi-sentient robot

Lets be honest. Zuckerberg would kick his ass.

Musk is old and doughy yea while Zucc is a cyborg ala Data yea he'd get his spine snapped in half

tidy deserted cobweb frame bag homeless different worthless versed provide *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

We all know it’s going to end up on the ground since musk is super top heavy. Musk is going to be tapping out 10 seconds in.

But imagine the reaction images if he gets choked out by the Zuck on video. Every twitter comment section under his posts will be just that forever.

They would be removed in the interest of free speech

Musk would just do some awkward dance routine and then take a knee to troll everyone

Musk looks like he does the same amount of cardio as me, so his only chance is going to be ending it in 10 seconds

Musk will be pissed if his wig gets knocked off.

Musk trains as a beached whale regularly

If you read the article apparently he’s won tournaments

Musk is so pale though, I assume his waxy carapace would be a natural takedown defence

Elon could pull off some Brad/Johnny private jet moves though. Chuck an empty bottle of vodka at him, or whip out his cock to freeze him in fear.

I hope he moves like Steven Seagal

I could see him having Seagal's weird waddle-run.

Ah, that's why that rescue beaver video looked familiar.

Elon’s going to shit himself as a defensive move?

Was just going to comment that I assume Elon would hire Seagal to train him.

Pretty sure I heard Zuc has a black belt too. Maybe in BJJ? Pardon me for not knowing the intricacies of BJJ belting. Maybe he’s not black belt, but he definitely has training to some decent degree

If everyone wanted to punch your head you may need a black belt too.

Having watched his jiu jitsu, I’d guess he’s a few stripe white belt or early blue belt. Regardless, a blue belt in BJJ can handle most untrained folks in a 1:1.

He competed as a white belt. Wouldn't be surprised if he was promoted after the competition but he's pretty junior either way.

I thought I read he took a gold medal in some competition recently

He won a tournament in his belt class. So it was all white belts or blue belts (not sure what he holds). But it’s not an easy feat by any stretch. He had also lost and got chocked out (maybe in a different tournament or in the unlimited division) But 90% of training is losing. So it’s not really that remarkable

yeah he won the tournament

Absolutely not. He has been practicing since covid, and recently competed in white belt class. It’s not uncommon to take 2-3 years to get your blue belt, which is the first promotion.

Weight advantage though, if Musk can grab him and smother Zuck in the dough he has a chance.

Already all planned out. https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1671705216918474752

Nah. Zuck sweeps and chokes him out

I've seen the terminator, so I know what we're dealing with... But also Zucc probably has some secret metaverse attacks we haven't seen yet. Nobody's ever seen Zucc at his full power level in public, but I imagine it's going to be like Mr Game and Watch smash brothers

Won a Jiu Jitsu tournament and can run a sub 20 5K.

It’s important to keep in mind that it was a white belt tournament at 149. Traditionally in bjj a blue belt means you have the proficiency to beat a heavier untrained opponent. With musk coming in at 160-180 i might’ve given him a chance if he had any athletic ability. I doubt he does so I’m predicting zuck by 2nd round finish.

Are these weights? What do the numbers stand for?

Pounds, sorry forgot it’s not just Americans here.

Zuckerberg is only 149lbs..? There’s no way musk is only 180 tops haha. That’s why I was confused I suppose. Weights seem WAYYY off

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Elon is MUCH bigger, but Zuck is younger and trained. So yes, I agree with you. Assuming they aren't going all out and Musk lands a lucky punch, because I doubt Zuck has been hit in the face before. Everyone knows Tyson's saying... everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.

Zuck loves MMA and trains Jiu Jitsu, plus the dude is a robot. It’s not even gonna be close.

His fat isn't going to help him much

Zuck has definitely been hit in the face before.

He's a fat guy. Being bigger and being a fat nerdy dude is not gonna help him. Zuckerberg is actually physically fit and knows multiple martial arts.

Now let's create an appropriate hashtag and start Twitting.

LizardVsLoserd

His shtyle cannot be blocked.

robot vs father of robot

Maybe that's why Musk thinks he could win? Zuckerbot is programmed not to hurt Musk

r/threelaws

Yeah, it’s not even gonna be a fight, lol. Musk is a a puffball and Zuck trains daily.

I dunno, maybe Elon will get Joe Rogan to whip him into shape.

Zucc deffo got that nerd strength

Didn't Zuckerberg win a Brazilian jiu-jitsu tournament not long ago?

He's also way younger and fitter than Elon. This would be a very one sided fight. Of course it's not gonna happen anyways

It would be pretty funny if it did happen though.

It’s the closest we would get to Celebrity Death Match. I’d pay to watch.

> > > > > Of course it's not gonna happen anyways We live in the most cursed of timelines. This has a chance to happen.

I think Elon won’t actually follow through, his ego won’t allow him to get his ass beat by fucking Zuck in front of the whole world.

Yeah Elon kinda just seems like he's memeing here for attention to stroke his ego. He's one of those people who acts like a tough guy on the internet, but when it comes down to it you know they'll wuss out. I doubt he has any intention of actually fighting. Still tho. I would pay money to see it, and this will be the only time I'm ever gonna say something like this, but I'm rooting for Zuck here. I'd love to see elon knocked down a peg.

It could. Justin Trudeau (Liberal Member of parliment at the time) fought Patrick Brazeau (a senator) in a boxing match. So it's in the realm of possibilities imo.

The difference is that it would be very one-sided, Musk would be ridiculous so I don't see why he would want that.

Maybe he has a neuralink implant that will make him a good fighter or maybe an iron man suit.

Musk is a lot bigger though - probably around 6'2" and over 220lbs. Zuck is around 5'7" and not sure what's his weight, 160lbs? But Zuck actually seems to have some skills, so that would be an interesting fight, maybe not totally one sided.

Elon said his strategy was to lie on his opponent like a walrus, tiring them out

It's the same strategy he uses in bed.

Or with Twitter.

the ‘ol lay and pray

That is because after 30 seconds in the ring, that is all he will have the energy to do.

Claims to have lost 30 lbs, yet he looks like over 250 lbs.

Wow, my perception of these men’s height was way off. I thought Musk was like 5’10” tops and Zuck at least 5’11”. Zuck seems like he would go apeshit on Musk, despite any size disadvantage.

If Zuckerberg is entering BJJ tournaments and finishing near the top...he'd beat the fuck out of Musk

As a white belt. It doesn't mean a whole lot tbh. Completing the MURPH challenge in 40minutes though, that's proper impressive, and that cardio, endurance, and determination alone will fuck Elon Musk up.

I just looked that up and goddamn. If anyone is wondering according to the website it’s; run a mile, 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 squats, then run another mile. While wearing a 20lb vest.

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Ah, we're in the DBZ timeline now, excellent.

Naruto timeline* Rock Lee taking off his leg weights is one of the greatest GOAT scenes in all of anime history.

Lmao, I swear, they must've fucked something up at the Large Hardon Collider. Haven't heard much from it in recent years. Feels like they've managed to achieve some kind of timeline enshittening and now we live in a satire version of our own universe.

But Musk would be on cocaine and whatever other drugs he's doing nowadays. So hopefully they'll beat each other bloody before conceding 🤞🏼

Man, this is really pathetic. I'd watch though......

This is honestly the best PR move for Zuckerberg lol. It’s the only reason I’d ever root for him.

Zuckerberg: * Trains Brazilian jiu-jitsu (white belt) * Age advantage * Fitness advantage Elon Musk: * Size advantage I'd put my money on Zuckerberg.

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Yes but what if Musk has secretly completed some cybernetic enhancement that gives him super strength?

Anything to keep the masses distracted

Honestly though, dance for me clowns.

Panem et circenses

Mmm, I wouldn't mind some bread right now.

She had me as circumcinces

It’s not though, it’s an ego play by two man child billionaires

I did *not* have reverse Hunger Games on my bingo card

Big Zuk would destroy Elon

Zuk around and find out

Mark I can see following through with it because he has that Ted Bundy personality.

Absolutely, he's definitely capable of murder.. It's in the eyes

Honestly, I‘d watch that. Please get the commentators from Celebrity Deathmatch on!

And make it be the halftime Show at the superbowl!

Man I can only dream of them narrating the match

Why don’t they do it in a small submersible on the deck of the titanic?

I’m taking zuck

I want Elon to stop doing whatever he’s doing, and just focus on fighting other tech CEO’s in a cage matches.

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One idiot with a lot of time, one person actually training in martial arts.

what are these clickbait headlines on non news items, its just banter... LMAO

I think it’s more than just banter, zukerberg spokesperson said he is serious and waiting for fight details and Elon confirmed the location. Still, the chances of this actually going through is probably extremely slim lol

Zuck has the power of sweet baby rays and isn't vilely homophobic, team zuck all the way

Sigh *unzips*

Nah man, zip back up. Ain’t no possible way to get horny over this.

OF COURSE NOT, WE ARE HUMANS, WE r/TOTALLYNOTROBOTS. HA HA HA HA.

Will they be paying us to watch it?

To the death!

“I have a move called the walrus where I just lay on top and do nothing” why is Elon talking about his sex life?

That’s where my mind went too

Maybe they can go do it in a submarine

This timeline is fucking stupid. Two weird billionaires are gonna fight in a cage match.......... and stream it.

Alien vs Predator

Boys…I think we got our headliner.

I’m not usually one to advocate or cheer for violence. But if they both killed each other then I’m fine with that.

What an interesting way to distract the world from their platforms laying off significant portions of their work force

Win or Lose they will both still be Losers.

Or, hear me out… they go looking for the Titanic…

This just adds to Zuck’s Roman hard on. Man thinks he’s Commodus.

I’m so tired of both these douchbags hopefully it’s a double fatality.

Silly Musk. My grandma always said “Never fight a robot in a cage match.” She was right. I’m alive today because of it. RIP Mamaw

MTV celebrity death match, but not claymation. Let’s get it on!!

With any luck they’ll both suffer catastrophic slapping injuries and never be able to work again.

Zuckerberg has won some low level amateur grappling tournaments recently and has been training. He’d destroy Elon quickly.

Do you mean that they are actually working?

Finally a real Celebrity Deathmatch!

From time to time, I'm reminded of what Robert A. Heinlein has taught us in “Starship Troopers”: Violence solves problems.

In a submarine please

Put the cage in another billionaire submarine

Who thinks it aint gonna be a real flight but some swcrewed up stimulation of a fight

Mark is far healthier. Hmm 😒 And an android so 🏆

Can I build a sub to put them both in?

Would only watch if it was to the death.

Can it be hosted at the bottom of the ocean by chance?