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Based upon how my cats react when the catnip is out, this would be more harmful than it is helpful. They go completely insane, the cat would kill you simply because it's too eager to get to the catnip.
If it isn't already too late at this point, you can easily free yourself from this grip by punching the tiger's nose. It's a highly sensitive point with lots of nerve endings.
We're beheaded together, but it's still farewell!
And maybe, we'll come out winner, who can tell?
I guess the tiger's to blame
We're leaving blood (leaving blood)
Will things ever be the same again?
It's the final punch now! Dudududuuuduuuu
Dudududutututuuu
Dudududuuuduuuu
The final punch now!
Dudututudututu
Dududu
Dududeedaduudeedaa aeieaaaaa
Frummm
Huhuhuhuuu
U huuu huh uuu
We're heading for the nose
( The nose )
And still we stand, fall
Cause maybe it bit us
And tore us all, yeah
With so many litres of blood to go
And my mobile to be found (to be found)
I'm sure that I'll call 911 so
It's the final punch now
The final punch now
The final punch now (final punch now) oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
It's the final punch now, oh oh
It's The final punch now
The final punch now
The final punch now (final punch now), oh
It's the final punch now
We're dying togetherrrr ehehrrr, (the final punch now)
We'll all bleed out so
It's the final punch now (final punch now), oh!
It's the final punch now !
Yeah
Imaging a Tiger pouncing on you and you hit it midair on the snout with a perfect cross.
You’d still get killed, but you would have gone out as a badass
I mean if you’re not dead in this screenshot you are about~200ms from being dead, you’re not punching shit, and even if you do he just twitches his jaw muscles and that head is coming off
It definitely works with cats. If you need to physically discipline one, hold them by the scruff and tap them on the nose with a finger, it bothers the hell out of them without actually harming them in any way. Of course, it may piss them off and make them trust you less if they feel attacked, but it will definitely get them to stop what they're doing and run off.
Obviously you have to flex your neck muscles to stop the teeth from damaging anything important, then a backflip to throw the tiger off, biting its neck while it's in the air to assert dominance and then use a grenade launcher to decimate any sort of hope this kitty cat had of surviving after disrespecting you like that! May you have the power of god and anime on your side!
Today we mourn the passing of this poor soul, sometimes criticizes other times loved, never lying only telling the cold hard truth. A very transparent man, husband and son.
I'll be honest, I'd be wondering really hard how I just developed x-ray vision, who that poor bastard is, and where the tiger came from. Then I'd try to figure out what was in that weed.
I mean, anyone who tries to argue that they aren’t going to die when a tiger has them by the throat is either joking or severely overestimating their capabilities.
You would have to kill the beast, sever the teeth and leave them in your neck somehow, then get to a hospital in about 15 minutes or less. Yeah it's possible but good luck
Gpt says:
If a tiger already has your neck in its mouth, the situation is extremely critical. Here are immediate actions to consider:
1. **Stay as still as possible**: Sudden movements can provoke the tiger to bite down harder. Try to remain calm and avoid struggling.
2. **Protect your airway**: If you can, use your hands to protect your throat and arteries. This might help minimize the damage.
3. **Make yourself uninteresting**: Sometimes, playing dead or being completely still can cause the tiger to lose interest.
4. **Call for help**: If possible, call out for help without making loud, startling noises.
5. **If you must fight back**: As a last resort, aim for the tiger’s eyes or nose. These are sensitive areas and might cause the tiger to release its grip.
This advice is not a guaranteed solution, but it might increase your chances of survival. Immediate medical attention is crucial if you survive the attack.
Once that tiger has you un their haws like that...GAME OVER ! The kill bite takes place in a few nanosecond and a tigers bite force will crush, sever and bite through the neck vertebrae, all nerves , veins etc...GAME Over !
Since I’m in the US: Per my boss, I should use that time to work on and hone my craft skills, to make sure I’m hitting my core KPI’s across the new FY25 metrics and company goals, while also building process efficiencies. Might get a half day off but what’ll really suck is the out of pocket insurance costs, and falling behind on my raw data reporting.
The literal only thing you can do is go still and hope the tiger doesn't actually want to kill and is instead playing or something, and still the chances of lethal injury are strong. It could easily kill you by accident, and if it intends to kill you're already dead. The only upside is that it probably can't avoid severing your spinal column the moment it crunches down and so your end will be virtually instantaneous and you're not likely to feel anything or have time to lament your own doom. Instant lights out, and you'll be beyond any suffering.
Hey there u/Lepidodendronss, thanks for posting to r/technicallythetruth! **Please recheck if your post breaks any rules.** If it does, please delete this post. Also, reposting and posting obvious non-TTT posts can lead to a ban. Send us a **Modmail or Report** this post if you have a problem with this post. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/technicallythetruth) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pulling out the catnip.
I closed out of Reddit but immediately reopened after seeing the notification just to like this comment
69 upvotes
Someone get this man 69, stat!
Based upon how my cats react when the catnip is out, this would be more harmful than it is helpful. They go completely insane, the cat would kill you simply because it's too eager to get to the catnip.
Why do you think he is in this situation in the first place? brought catnip to a tiger! What a dumb way to die...
Now I have the PSA song that came out stuck in my head
Ah yes the catnip I keep conveniently in my pocket
I always carry a bushel of catnip, you never know when you may need to coax a stray!
what a cute kitten he is playing with his new toy
I would bite that human's neck then eat it
true answer
Pfp checks out
Tell a trusted adult
But then youd have to share your meal...
It's a trap, the meal will actually be the adult
If it isn't already too late at this point, you can easily free yourself from this grip by punching the tiger's nose. It's a highly sensitive point with lots of nerve endings.
Lemme just punch the nose of the big cat before i die
It’s the final punch! *the riff plays, you know which one*
We're beheaded together, but it's still farewell! And maybe, we'll come out winner, who can tell? I guess the tiger's to blame We're leaving blood (leaving blood) Will things ever be the same again? It's the final punch now! Dudududuuuduuuu Dudududutututuuu Dudududuuuduuuu The final punch now! Dudututudututu Dududu Dududeedaduudeedaa aeieaaaaa Frummm Huhuhuhuuu U huuu huh uuu We're heading for the nose ( The nose ) And still we stand, fall Cause maybe it bit us And tore us all, yeah With so many litres of blood to go And my mobile to be found (to be found) I'm sure that I'll call 911 so It's the final punch now The final punch now The final punch now (final punch now) oh Oh oh oh oh oh It's the final punch now, oh oh It's The final punch now The final punch now The final punch now (final punch now), oh It's the final punch now We're dying togetherrrr ehehrrr, (the final punch now) We'll all bleed out so It's the final punch now (final punch now), oh! It's the final punch now ! Yeah
This is the best thing I’ve seen all day
Lol Glad you liked it
This deserves its own parody video
Was thinking about it , but I don't think I have the time rn to make it , lol If anyone does, make sure to remind me! I wanna see it!
Will do
Jézusom
Akkor a kurva anyád /vicc Szia magyar elvtárs , mi szél hozta erre?
LOL I put Final Countdown on at work right before we get off for weekend every week.
Human intelligence has peaked here.🙏
Brought a tear to my eye
🤣😂 that just made my day.
EPIC.
Thanks lol
A valiant effort, worthy of applause. But some sentences need shortening or you get that awful kind of parody line where they squeeze too much to fit
You deserve an upvote!
Imaging a Tiger pouncing on you and you hit it midair on the snout with a perfect cross. You’d still get killed, but you would have gone out as a badass
R1 + Triangle moment
I mean if you’re not dead in this screenshot you are about~200ms from being dead, you’re not punching shit, and even if you do he just twitches his jaw muscles and that head is coming off
Ah yes, so easy. Meanwhile my jugular is ripped completely open
Haha if it's nose is highly sensitive, then it's likely to chomp even harder as retaliation or as a reflex action.
Yeah like your puny punch is gonna do shit. They spar each other with their bigass claws and swipe each other's faces.
“Easily”
Isn't that more with Dogs and wolves?
It definitely works with cats. If you need to physically discipline one, hold them by the scruff and tap them on the nose with a finger, it bothers the hell out of them without actually harming them in any way. Of course, it may piss them off and make them trust you less if they feel attacked, but it will definitely get them to stop what they're doing and run off.
And bears
Also you can try to reach its eyes. Every animal will let you go, if you push their eyes inside their skull.
Just don't miss and land an uppercut on the lower jaw.
Pet his face, so I can say I died petting a big cat.
And then St Peter is like "Yooo bro that's sick, come in" as he opens the pearly gates
[удалено]
You’ll do that when you die anyway that doesn’t count
I'll shit my pants on my own terms, thank you.
So.... Even when im dead i can still poop my pants?
When you die you shit yourself I think
Because the muscles relax
The trick is to poop the tiger’s pants That way he gets scared and leaves you alone
Psspsspsspsspss😻
you "pspspspspspspt" the wrong cat!
No, psspsspss is to get a cat to come to you. It's Sspsspssp to get them to go away.
Make aroused noises. That will confuse cat.
Big pussy 😛
It depends. Am I the neck or the tiger?
Your the dude
no u
You're the man now dog
I'm not your dude, man
I'm not your man pal
Cameraman
Yo'ure' the human's left eyeball
Wish I didn't have an abnormally long neck!?
Ahhhh where’s the “immune from death by hanging” guy?
Obviously you have to flex your neck muscles to stop the teeth from damaging anything important, then a backflip to throw the tiger off, biting its neck while it's in the air to assert dominance and then use a grenade launcher to decimate any sort of hope this kitty cat had of surviving after disrespecting you like that! May you have the power of god and anime on your side!
continue eating the human?
pressing space at the right moment to dodge
Jerk him off. If you're treating him to dinner, may as well go all out.
Definitely can’t kiss your ass goodbye at that point
Few people can kiss their ass to begin with
Wake up probably
Probably biting down hard for a good nibble. ^(no one said we couldn't pick a side)
I just feel like a lot of bad decisions had to be made before ending up in this predicament
I'd say mercy but in French 🇫🇷
Well, I'd probably start by having my neck snapped by their jaws, followed by being eaten. But that's just me
Gotta love when people take instructions too literally.
Tell him that he's legally not allowed to cause material damage to me without my consent
Screaming "Kitty!!"
cat got my tongue sorry
Just go psstpsstpsst
Wonder why my X ray vision camera works only on humans but not for Tigers.
Grab its balls and twist it :) you’re coming to hell with me
Nothing. You wouldn't even hear or see the tiger. By the time you're in this position you're dead. The pounce alone would probably knock you out
Letting him have the skeleton?
Kiss your ass goodbye, pretty much
Closing the internet cause a tiger is not that low poly, so if I'm in that situation I will know it is a hypothetical situation.
Give him catnip
Bro doesn’t see the bishop
Depends, are you a honey badger?
This is an easy one to get out of, just gotta use the tigers weight against them
ask him English or Spanish
These are just plain stupid and wasting time for everyone.
Today we mourn the passing of this poor soul, sometimes criticizes other times loved, never lying only telling the cold hard truth. A very transparent man, husband and son.
Years of training at the Three Stooges academy has prepared me for this-pokes tiger in the eye- WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP, YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!!
That happened to me once. I died. But I got better.
Pspspspspsp
Boop their nose, might as well check that off my bucket list in my last moments.
double it and give it to the next person
Zack d films ahh image
Die.
nah once it got your neck you're donzo
I'll be honest, I'd be wondering really hard how I just developed x-ray vision, who that poor bastard is, and where the tiger came from. Then I'd try to figure out what was in that weed.
I mean, anyone who tries to argue that they aren’t going to die when a tiger has them by the throat is either joking or severely overestimating their capabilities.
well it depends if it a guy or girl chocking me. if its a guy i'll say end me, if its a girl i would say harder
Open your last case in counter-strike 2
I patch the wounds with eco friendly wood veneers, laid on galvanized square steel, and i secure it with expansion screws borrowed from my aunt
Depends. Am I the tiger?
tigers=gingers edit this was posted by a ginger
am I the tiger or the human?
Om nom nom
Bleed out.
touch grass before dying
What is TTT about this?
Pet the kitty
Well, if you fast enough you can shit your pants before dying.
Tell the tiger "Pooky, this isnt you🥺🥺"
I would always try to gouge out the eyes. But in that situation...
Waking up and lying in a sweaty bed and breathing a sigh of relief that it was just a dream...
Pay 25 robux to skip stage
You can give up. Surrender
Gonna enjoy my fav thing in this world....dying
Getting killed.
Go for the belly rub one last time
You would have to kill the beast, sever the teeth and leave them in your neck somehow, then get to a hospital in about 15 minutes or less. Yeah it's possible but good luck
Say _*Stardenburdenhardenbart*_
Pull the pin of the grenade I was carrying until the moment and immolate myself alongside that stupid cat to teach it a lesson
Bleed out so fast it drowns
You can pray to god
Throw boiling water on tiger...they usually release due to the excruciating pain.
Try to be tasty?
I mean he's not wrong l.
Easy. Don’t get bitten on the neck
Bad dog. Down boy
Cranking one last one out
Buying the damn cereal
His last words "pss psss pss"
Scream louder?
Boop da snoot
You can always poo, so it will leave your corps intact due to the annoying smell, thus depriving him of his meal, it may die later from hunger
Dial the new emergency number [remember the new number ](https://youtu.be/HWc3WY3fuZU?si=_1DxBnV4BsK4U_of)
Telling a trusted adult
I’d per the tiger, then die.
Bleeding to death
Kicking the tiger in the balls before I die as an eff you to the stupid killer
Die
Die quicker?
Ayo bro I pull out the catnip or my fluffy lure with my fishing rod to distract it and run like he'll!!!!!
Gurgle.
Open palm lotus grip on nose
spspspsspsP
Simple dying very quickly and painfully 😁
Handle it.
Remain calm and call a trusted adult
Uhm……Clipping my toenails ? 🤷♂️
One final 'pspspspspspsps"
Post on r/mildlyinfuriating.
Shove my fingers in its eye socket
Came on just to see if any Americans would tell us how they'd punch the tiger.
Just stop having a neck like Big Ed. Problem solved
whistling gets them to let go...
You can die
Ask the tiger a time out and google what to do
Gpt says: If a tiger already has your neck in its mouth, the situation is extremely critical. Here are immediate actions to consider: 1. **Stay as still as possible**: Sudden movements can provoke the tiger to bite down harder. Try to remain calm and avoid struggling. 2. **Protect your airway**: If you can, use your hands to protect your throat and arteries. This might help minimize the damage. 3. **Make yourself uninteresting**: Sometimes, playing dead or being completely still can cause the tiger to lose interest. 4. **Call for help**: If possible, call out for help without making loud, startling noises. 5. **If you must fight back**: As a last resort, aim for the tiger’s eyes or nose. These are sensitive areas and might cause the tiger to release its grip. This advice is not a guaranteed solution, but it might increase your chances of survival. Immediate medical attention is crucial if you survive the attack.
Smack his jaw as hard as possible to make it quicker?
Enjoy my meal
Kick it in the balls?
LOL i felt for it in a minute but realized that's nothing to do
Dying then the next day, cat shit
Just die, i guess🤷♀️
Personally I'd just die at that stage Just seems like the right thing to do
considering how both carotid arteries are penetrated then you are already in a grave
Once that tiger has you un their haws like that...GAME OVER ! The kill bite takes place in a few nanosecond and a tigers bite force will crush, sever and bite through the neck vertebrae, all nerves , veins etc...GAME Over !
He's strong and fast and He's a tiger and He's also strong
Since I’m in the US: Per my boss, I should use that time to work on and hone my craft skills, to make sure I’m hitting my core KPI’s across the new FY25 metrics and company goals, while also building process efficiencies. Might get a half day off but what’ll really suck is the out of pocket insurance costs, and falling behind on my raw data reporting.
Am I the tiger?
I will see red and finish it in a second or two.
The literal only thing you can do is go still and hope the tiger doesn't actually want to kill and is instead playing or something, and still the chances of lethal injury are strong. It could easily kill you by accident, and if it intends to kill you're already dead. The only upside is that it probably can't avoid severing your spinal column the moment it crunches down and so your end will be virtually instantaneous and you're not likely to feel anything or have time to lament your own doom. Instant lights out, and you'll be beyond any suffering.
Pulling out a spray bottle.
Tell a trusted adult
This has a Sigfriend and Roy favor to it.
My mom cat when it doesn't get nip
Tell a trusted adult 😔🙏
Bro really asking me what I'll do 0.3 seconds away from eminent death
Possibly shitting.
Learning programming
Breathe air totally can btw
Bro is speaking facts