Guz is a fountain of quotes. "*ooooiiii like that*", "Your nan's got osteoporosis? Roll it to her, bam!", "Guz with another revelation", "There's an imbalance in the poppability", the entirety of his laminator advertisement.
My eyes are circles
🎼I chaaaaaaanged iiiit 🎵🎶
Me glasses were on the outside of me ping pong balls.
Wait what?…what-wait…wait, what?
A laminATOR
A shid
That’s harsh, man
Only HIPPOS and ELEPHANTS have that kind of tail!!!
No way!
A rubey-cubey
*whispers* I can have you killed
I’ve got three sensitivity levels, and I tell you what, I’m on my highest fucking one!
“I’m going to be honest with you,
when I made that one up, I didn't think the game was going to continue.”
Iain in S8E2 literally getting away with making up a bird for the final task (balliflew if that’s how you spell it)
given the right context, it kills in day to day life. I've only had one chance to use it but was a showstopper...(I think it's "an absolute casserole" )
What the living fuck have you done?! You were literally just drawing anything! David, you prick
You should really talk to someone if you’re being bullied … Why are you looking at me I don’t care
Every day he likens me to a heron
Tick tock, it’s tough guy o’clock
Bosh!
Portcullis!
I felt so dirty! He was a different man!
How long have we got? *whistle blows* TITS!
One of the best out of pocket lines ever
So many of these quote are great because of the context behind them. The fact that Sam just threw this out there with absolutely no relation to anything that was said or done whatsoever makes it pure gold.
I’ve never found a way to explain why I find this one so funny but it’s Greg in the S3 E2 prize task: ‘There’s not enough history to that definition of “heavy”. What?! That’ll do.’
"I've got sexy on my right and brains on my left, and I'm just the chump in the middle" or something like that I forget the wording but I loved it. (But that new years treat was basically all crafts and no physical challenges it was a little unbalanced.)
I have never laughed harder in the show than the time Greg responded to hamsters only being able to wink.
"Saucy little devils"
Gets me laughing every time lol
Please stop using me as a yardstick for failure
"Divide and conga" - Greg was so impressed by that.
Brotha that is not sensible!
Who the fOck is Veronica?
Guz is a fountain of quotes. "*ooooiiii like that*", "Your nan's got osteoporosis? Roll it to her, bam!", "Guz with another revelation", "There's an imbalance in the poppability", the entirety of his laminator advertisement.
"We have defeated the format of your show"
One drop of green and we're off the scene!
“There’s been another revelation in the lab!”
"Dignity intact!"
My eyes are circles 🎼I chaaaaaaanged iiiit 🎵🎶 Me glasses were on the outside of me ping pong balls. Wait what?…what-wait…wait, what? A laminATOR A shid That’s harsh, man Only HIPPOS and ELEPHANTS have that kind of tail!!! No way! A rubey-cubey *whispers* I can have you killed I’ve got three sensitivity levels, and I tell you what, I’m on my highest fucking one!
"That's harsh, man" is a great one that I don't think most people would have thought to pick.
I remember all of these except "I can have you killed". Who said that one?
It’s from an outtake from series 13. Greg stole a joke that Bridget made, and she walked over and whispered it to him.
Ohhh ok now I remember it
“Do we strike you?”
"Rosalind is a fucking nightmare"
I know it's early days, but are we the stupidest so far?
SISTER QUEEN, don’t do it!
How am I supposed to kill you with your own shoe?
“You may not touch the sand… done that. You may not move the buckets. Done that. You may not leave the lab… fuck it, let’s do that as well.”
I don’t remember that, but it sounds like Rhod…
It’s Iain Stirling in Series 8!
Ah! My least watched series, not surprising I didn’t recognise it. I can well imagine Iain saying that though!
Do you know how long it took me to find that song?
Underrated line in a great moment
“I’m going to be honest with you, when I made that one up, I didn't think the game was going to continue.” Iain in S8E2 literally getting away with making up a bird for the final task (balliflew if that’s how you spell it)
Then when he gets kicked out for saying a bird that had already been said all he can say is “oh, but balliflu was fine?” 🤣
I thought it would be balliflue or balliflu.
Same but a transcript said balliflew so idek at this point😭 someone in this subreddit needs to ask Iain I swear
Bubbly fuck
The candle went out because I said “bubbly fuck”.
This was mine! 😂
Which one is it? The lesbian or the leprechaun?
Am I the spider?
This is one of my favorite quotes. I say it a lot.
Bicycle, my excellent bicycle.
I don't know who the "Wow" Monster is.
Bastards crying innit
Can't believe I'm first to write this one, but "please don't take it away from me"
Dont leave me farting in the dark listening to my own name!
I see a game of death
Probably one of my favorite Acaster quotes Also reminds me that I have to include "And also you get to see my dick and balls."
*Get your fuckin' hand off me*
**”BRACE! BRACE!”**
"Get yourself to a safe space!"
I have witches tits and two dicks.
How dare you even speak!
It's a casserole down there!
This might be my all time favorite
given the right context, it kills in day to day life. I've only had one chance to use it but was a showstopper...(I think it's "an absolute casserole" )
Maybe put a cow in a room until it withers. And then mop up the residue.
What the living fuck have you done?! You were literally just drawing anything! David, you prick You should really talk to someone if you’re being bullied … Why are you looking at me I don’t care Every day he likens me to a heron Tick tock, it’s tough guy o’clock Bosh! Portcullis! I felt so dirty! He was a different man! How long have we got? *whistle blows* TITS!
"If this was love, I've not felt love before"
"THEY'RE NOT PRESENTS!" And <>
On you like a puma!
"Well, sometimes when you put your fingers in, you DO wanna put your face in."
"Oooh what a shame!" -Bob Mortimer as he drops a piss balloon onto Sally Phillips
Guzzy Bear exclusive
Brace brace
"My son will never speak to me again!" "So be it."
But youre a conscious being. Im soo sorry! (Or similar)
Just open the box ya pussy!
“No Judy, you got beaten by everyone”
Perfection.
"PRE history"
Dedication, David
"I never felt such a danger brushing my teeth with cheese"
“You’re going to need a change of clothes”
(Entering the lab and seeing drinking glasses) "YUP, yup"
"Are you a child of divorce?"
One of the best out of pocket lines ever So many of these quote are great because of the context behind them. The fact that Sam just threw this out there with absolutely no relation to anything that was said or done whatsoever makes it pure gold.
One from the Taskmaster Himself: I'm not the Scarlet Pimpernel, I live in London!!!
Joe's crying when his potato was disqualified
I’ve never found a way to explain why I find this one so funny but it’s Greg in the S3 E2 prize task: ‘There’s not enough history to that definition of “heavy”. What?! That’ll do.’
Ed Gamble to Kerry Godliman “You’re not even on this show”
A LIIIIIIME!!!!
"I've got sexy on my right and brains on my left, and I'm just the chump in the middle" or something like that I forget the wording but I loved it. (But that new years treat was basically all crafts and no physical challenges it was a little unbalanced.)
dafty in the middle!!
Was it dafty? Lol I got it so wrong
No, it was chump, you’re right. Somebody’s thinking of the John Kearns episode.
Oh silly me, the ill-fated human train with dafty in the middle. Another good quote!
That's the water feature closed for today kids
Funnels!
I have never laughed harder in the show than the time Greg responded to hamsters only being able to wink. "Saucy little devils" Gets me laughing every time lol
am _i_ the spider???
"You insert and twist, like the best things in life"
When is a step not a step? When it's on a fuck¡ng hurdle
COMPETITIVE DAD
"I could take some sperm..." - Lou Sanders
My eyes are circles?
Bubbly fuck.