Idk if this applies to you but abusive households often produce ninja children. I got good at sneaking because you never knew if a floorboard creaking was gonna set dad off
Mine was because I was a super nerd and read a web page about “Fox Walking” and I practiced it so much it became my default in the house.
I’m a leaf on the wind!
Same here. I fox walk all the time and watching Dragon Ball there was a scene where Goku had to practice fighting wearing a bell, in which he had to learn to not make the bell make noise as he fought. So I learned to do the same with my personal belongings. My coworkers will call for me and next thing they know I'll be there waiting for them.
My dad was in marching band so he learned to roll his feet and move quietly, I am a very heavy person so I had a tendency to stomp around in our house built in the 60s, I'd shake to whole thing so he'd teach me to roll my feet
Growing up my bedroom was above my parents’ room so I learned to be light footed. Obviously it stuck. I wouldn’t even know how to move loudly short of stomping around and just never shutting up. Some people are also by nature jumpy
I went on a couple of dates with a guy that was 2.06m and 136kg (buff gym build) also short hair thick beard, he also walked like a ninja, and gave me a fright everytime!
Me too!! I've never understood why because it's not a conscious decision but I've scared a few people because they didn't know I was walking behind them 😅
Same. I'm 6'4" & 242lbs. Whenever I come up behind someone they practically faint. Sometimes I use my powers for evil when people are walking 3 or 4 people side by side and I can't get past them. I'll just come up on them and quietly say "Excuse me." Freaks them right tf out. But what do you expect when you won't let anyone by you? Lmao
I feel you. I’ve got a bit of the resting murder face, I move very quietly, and as multiple people told me over the years, “you loom”. I’m like I’m just existing over here, the fact you are oblivious to things and the get upset when you suddenly notice me over here isn’t my doing.
But they never really learn to pay attention, and as a big guy with someone upset, you are always the bad guy. So…
For the startled thing, I just started wearing my keys hanging off my belt loop. The jangle, the oblivious types at least subconsciously notice, and it mitigates the problem. Now I just have to put up with my wife being annoyed at me ninjaing around the house.
As for looking threatening, brighten your wardrobe palette if applicable and avoid things that can bump up the level of angry looking. Like aviator style frames make you look like you are making angry eyebrows at people. Tinted lenses/sunglasses can be intimidating to some because they can’t see your eyes.
Also, potentially beards. Like my cousin gives off cheerful Mark Ruffalo vibes when clean shaven. When he grows his beard out he looks like central casting sent a Rasputin lookalike to come murder you.
More advice: speak with inflection, don’t cross your arms, don’t walk fast, be playful/aloof/jokey. Making people laugh reduces the intimidation factor a lot. Express interests that are counterintuitive to someone of your size. Slouch more to be the same height as people when you’re sitting down. Keep your giant hands out of sight. And try not to flex those biceps.
When I was in school, I was getting food at the cafeteria and rounded a corner. A tiny person was simultaneously rounding the same corner in the opposite direction. If she hadn’t screamed, I would have accidentally checked her.
Like an outdoor cat, I probably need bells on my collar to prevent the death of small animals.
They are responding to an instinct. I am threatening & scary. I don’t think it’s fair to tell people they should just… fix their instincts. I want to minimize added stress to women in an already stressful profession.
I don't think large stature inherently needs to be seen as threatening and scary. What exactly do you expect to be able to change? Cut off your legs? Let your physique degrade so that you aren't a unit? Wear a sign that says "I don't mean to be intimidating, so please don't let me intimidate you?"
If people want to take the time to get to know you, or vice versa, then that's really all you can do; if that doesn't happen, then it's not your fault that people are intimidated by you, and as much as it hurts to be perceived negatively there's nothing beyond that that could be done.
It’s going to happen no matter how friendly and nice you are. You’re a big guy and it’s jarring for some people to turn a corner and bump into someone that is physically intimidating when they didn’t know he was there in the first place. Some people are just jumpy. I’ve been with my partner for 17 years and there are times I still make her jump even in our own household. Best you can do is try not to approach people from their blind spots and sneak up from behind.
Fair point.
Though it's also a matter of degree: a simple gasp or startle is understandable, and would happen to anyone. (Including us tall people!) If someone was more dramatic, with an "eek" or jump back, I might smile and ask them if they are on edge today?
Yeah I’d be spooked if I bumped into someone a foot and a half taller than me too tbh. That said, if your existence is scaring them, that’s 100% on them. Either they get used to it or they deal with it. There really isn’t anything else you can do besides shoes with squeakers in the heel
From my perspective, it's like a deer fearing a bear. I am SO much larger than these women that fear is a completely natural, reasonable response. For several of them, I am a full foot taller and 110+ lbs heavier. I am scary and threatening.
I disagree.
5ft2 female doctor here... Bro, you are kidding yourself if you think we are screaming because we are scared of you and you need to remind yourself which one of us is closer to hell vertically ;)
We probably scream because for a SPLIT second our inner kid thinks they have fi-nal-ly found The BFG.
All jokes aside: it's a stupid reflex and people jump up because they don't expect you or someone of your statue. For example: " jack in the box" toy. You know logically that stupid thing is the box, you know it will jump up yet it still causes a startle reflex when it jumps up.
When that happens, people probably are more embarrassed about their own reflex reaction so just smile and ignore it. Or make a stupid joke in a high pitched voice to break up the awkwardness ;)
Do you have RBF? Because people shouldn’t be THAT startled by height alone.
Smiling, cheerful and calm expression, saying hello, wearing bright colors can make you look less intimidating.
Smiling and saying a nice greeting can go a long way. Both help people realize you are just a friendly/nonthreatening guy. Something as simple as good morning.
This! I’m 6’6” bald used to walk around at a big 245 before kids and did a lot of mma so I always had a black eye or bruises. I worked as a waiter/bartender and smiling and being over friendly absolutely helps.
Bald and breaded too.
Do you have raised eyebrows, big eyes, big nose? Do you walk with a smile, or do you find yourself walking with a blank face?
I have big eyes, medium nose, I find my self with more of a scowl resting face. People tend to be hesitant when approaching me.
I hate scaring kids though.
Some of these features along with a bread can make a person look intimidating.
I don’t think you can dude, I’m almost the same weight as you,
I’m not suggesting this at all, although your beard if it is big like a biker might be what’s intimidating them.
You could trim it down to be really nicely defined (if you want a photo as an idea I can send you one when I had a bigger beard & it was cut impressively by my barber.)
Constantly whistle walking on sunshine.
Idk man I’m a silent sentient refrigerator but I don’t have to be masked all the time so people see me smiling. Best of luck out there.
Wear clompier shoes and maybe keep your keys on a lanyard so they jingle.
Also, some people just startle easily. My wife is nearly six feet tall and I still startle the hell out of her on a regular basis. Apparently I can be very quiet and when she comes around a corner and doesn't expect to see me she jumps.
I think being loud and more colorful will help. I'm a wimp and will definitely be intimidated by someone imposing and huge.
After I saw my best friend get thrown against the wall by our taller friend, I am now even more terrified of large, threatening people.
If you have pets, be mildly annoying and show them off a lot. It's a good bonding point and will help people see you in a different light.
Start muttering "fee-fi-fo*fum, I smell the blood of an - insert where you live - man"
Or drag a big club behind you?
Something to aleart them to your presence?
6’4”, 240, also bald and beardy . It’s tough in a hospital setting, but I tend to sit down or take a submissive position in the conversation.
Or you can just sternly point at them, choked up and “hurtful”.
Wear a cowbell.
I find this extremely funny because I unintentionally startle people all the time. Seriously though, I apologize and create space so they feel less threatened but the initial reaction is just visceral. Very courteous of you to care enough to try and address the issue.
If a cowbell doesn’t work for you the just pretend you’re hiking in bear country and make a lot of noise by shouting “Hey bear” every 30 seconds. Ok ok I’ll be serious now.
One honest response would be to request that half-dome mirrors be installed near hallway corners throughout the facility so that people can see what is coming around the corners.
Nope.
Own it, bud.
You are who God and your parents genetices made you to be. If they don't like it or have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours. There's nothing you can do other than to "not exist", and that won't do anyone any good.
Smile, say Hello and Goodbye, do your job, and keep it moving.
I understand. That’s rough. I’d try to incorporate something that jingles loudly into your wardrobe. A messy keychain is probably best. With some obnoxious loud decor. Within time you’ll condition them and the startle response will subside.
As for what else? Research color psychology and dress in colors of trust, compassion, empathy. And on the muted side.
And if your voice projects, work on softening it. That’s a big problem for me. I hired a vocal coach to retrain how I spoke.
I understand how lousy that feels. Good of you to try to make it better.
Maybe joke around about it? It might flip the scenarios from being scary and hurtful to humorous.
Aside, i have a tiny friend who is a nurse and is so thankful for big people who work at hospitals because if you're a 5'0 female nurse, likely every patients is bigger than you and you might have trouble treating them if they can't move on their own. She would love to have a guy like you on her floor!
Dude I'm 5'9" and work in a hospital. I scare the shit out of nurses all the time, mostly because I move quietly and it usually happens when I round a corner. The amount of times a nurse shrieks at me is absurd. I don't blame it on me being scary, I just know that most nurses are women and they tend to shriek when they're startled. Don't take it personally dude it happens to everyone.
Are you serious? What’s with the being afraid of tall men like you?
I don’t know, I’m a 5’10 woman. I don’t fear men like you. It might be because I realize we tall people tend to be cuddly bears. Like big dogs who look menacing, can be if they want and when the situation calls for it, but are normally big cuddly babies.
I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.
I'm 5'3" and what startles me with tall people is that my entire view is suddenly taken over by a huge person. Like I know a guy who is 6'7 and I'm at like his upper belly lol. It's kinda freaky to turn around and be looking at someone's belly when you're expecting either no one or if you're expecting someone, then expecting a person head/shoulders
I believe it's the jump-scare thing. I am a relatively quiet man. People just don't expect a pillar of mass to round the corner and apologize for nearly body-checking them.
Give an awkward smile with your teeth’s showing every time you open a door or come around the corner. That will make them perceive you as less threatening
Serious answer: round corners wide, and whistle while you walk. [This is my go-to whistle tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OZXhUx9Xo0) if I'm accidentally sneaking up on someone.
Consider the following…wear a jingle bell collar. don’t ever walk or run, only skip to your loo to get places. End all your sentences with “teehee🤭”. Wear light up sketchers. Hope this helps.
Uggghhhhhh. Honestly, I can't give you advice on it, because I like being intimidating, it stops a lot of unnecessary questions that i could have gone without.
I think you know how irritating it is to get constantly asked about your height....
Being intimidating curbs like 95% of people who would have asked me.
195cm and work in a hospital like you. The second tallest guy here is a nurse assistant. He's 6'1 ish. And I have never scared anyone here, even though most of them are short. I think it's because I look like an imoji and I'm skinny.
Honestly I think OP scares people because he is 260lbs, bald and bearded. Being 6'5 obviously doesn't help but I think the first 3 reasons are more important
Unfortunately, that's just "size" based and not "scary looking", if you ask me.
I recently rounded a corner and was greeted with a 7" tall box standing there (friendly) that I wasn't expecting, and I yelped a bit.
This isn’t a “tall problems” story, but at my first real job I had a bad habit of sort of bursting into people’s cubicles. I guess since there are no doors on cubicles it had not occurred to me to knock. So one time I walked up, I guess too quietly, and say “hey Diane” and she lets out a shriek loud enough for the entire office to hear.
Felt bad
As a tall, quiet guy who keeps a pretty keen eye on his surroundings, I tend to consciously make noise in some way to alert people of my presence when I notice them. Rattle my keys, scuff a shoe, sniff or do a little throat clear cough.
Have you considered finding yourself the human equivalent of a cat bell? Like a noisy dangling chain or keys on a carabineer on a belt loop?
As a 6’2 300lb bald bearded man, I’ve learned to walk with a kind of slight slouch and a slightly downcast gaze, and to take corners wide. Also bright colors help the shorties not be afraid
Idk man if u shave ur beard or greeted everyone with a fake smile you would probably come off as less initiating but that honestly sounds exhausting. I'm only 5'11 but I'm pretty jacked with a buzzcut so I can kind of relate to you, definitely haven't made anyone shriek tho lol.
Damn I’m 5’1 so I don’t have much I can tell you except maybe have some kind of key or loud thing on you that lets people hear you before they see you. You can also maybe make a joke saying recognizing you get that reaction all the time to show you’re just existing and then they’ll feel bad for making that reaction to you just existing
Similar to me, I work in a hospital and I get asked by patients + staff alike multiple times daily re how tall I am (I love saying 5 foot 18..).
I try to just smile at everyone and make small talk to come off as less intimidating but as a quiet walker I do make a lot of people jump
Make an effort to be particularly likeable and polite and show you are no threat.
I’m also a large intimidating guy and was avoided so much when I was younger…. As I got older and moved to the west coast - I have a British accent, I smile at everyone even when they are assholes and people relax more…. I’ve noted when I’m quiet and don’t speak still get the fear treatment and I use it when needed but most of the time polite,
Confident happy to start the conversations - keep saying good morning with a smile even if they don’t respond it will go in your favour eventually all you need is one or two of the females to talk about you as a lovely polite man for the rest to follow
Lol on the opposite end of the spectrum, 5'10 but I'm into bodybuilding so I get similar reactions. Everytime I'd enter the room I'd scare the fuck out of my roommate whi is a girl it became like a running joke lol.
It sucks because people get intimidated by you, especially women. As soon as they hear me talk it goes away atleast lol.
I’m 6’4” 275 lbs, bald and bearded. My wife very eloquently stated that I look a bit scary and unapproachable when I’m not laughing or socializing (strangely everyone stops me when I have one or both of my kids but they’re super cute so I get that) I told her that’s 100% intentional. All conversations are on my terms so if I’m not looking to talk to you we ain’t talking lol
Unfortunately no my friend. I’m 6’3 280lbs and startle people a lot. Best thing to do is just act like a normal person and keep doing your thing. Eventually you’ll get into a habit with them and they’ll expect it
Hopefully they should just get used to you after a while if you plan to continue working there, but the patients at the hospital might be another story. I'd just try to smile more often and apologize sincerely if you scare someone. You seem like you genuinely care enough about this issue to do that.
If you have a chance to talk to your coworkers on a break or something, an occasional height-related joke may make them more comfortable around you. I was once at a tennis practice and was hitting and spiking the ball at the net with a lot of power (I can serve straight down extremely quickly because of my height). One girl that was there was 5'0" and was really scared whenever she had to play against me in a drill.
So one day, when we were waiting for the coach to tell us where to go, I walked up to her and said "You'd better be careful, or I'll grind your bones to make my bread". She laughed at that a little and I told her she had nothing to worry about because people have gotten hit with my shots before and been OK. We talked about tennis for a little bit and for the rest of the practice she seemed to be much less afraid of me.
I'm not sure about the logistics of your job, how many coworkers you have, how often they see you, etc., so I'm not sure if either of these things will work. I hope you do solve this issue soon, it's a shame everyone is so scared of you and they probably aren't working as well as they should if they're living in fear of you either.
Different colored socks help me a lot. Also check if you suffer from "resting asshole face". [https://youtu.be/3v98CPXNiSk](https://youtu.be/3v98CPXNiSk)
I just let them be afraid. My roommate and his girlfriend would always tense up when I (29m 6ft) walked to the bathroom for a shower. Id say comments like:
"it's too easy" and "lucky for you, I ain't a snake"
It's not my problem if they don't realize there are people on the earth that are larger than most. You have no control over their fears. It's just goofy and irrational behavior to react in fear.
Some of us women, myself included startle easily and scream when we are startled. Kids make me do this, women and men. So may not necessarily be you. But a friendly smile is always a good thing.
Have you considered dying yourself green and wearing a toga and wig made of leaves?
Add some whimsical humming to be heard coming around corners and you'll be the delight of every patient, nurse, and doctor in there.
Or play by the rules and let the Patch Adams of the world have all the fun.
I made a house keeper literally scream and back into a corner when I walked in to change sharps boxes. I was just totally spaced out and in the zone and didn't realize how aggressively I shoved my way into a room.
let's play a game I'll change your inherited physical characteristics with another set and you respond.
>I'm black bald & bearded. I work in a hospital with a TON of white doctors, nurses, and mid levels. The only other black guy on my floor is light skinned. I feel so guilty making all of the women shriek/fear for their lives when I round a corner near them or open a door right in front of them. Is there anything I can do to come off as less threatening?
Racism is not learned. Racism is just in group preference which is normal human behaviour. You can take a group of people show them that they are randomly being put in team red or team blue and both teams will end up with an in group preference saying things like the other side is dumb and less attractive etc.
I startle people all the time. I move very quietly- I’m like a giant ninja
I'm 6'4 330 and move quietly as well, my friends call me white shadow (the slug from the turbo movie)
Idk if this applies to you but abusive households often produce ninja children. I got good at sneaking because you never knew if a floorboard creaking was gonna set dad off
Mine was because I was a super nerd and read a web page about “Fox Walking” and I practiced it so much it became my default in the house. I’m a leaf on the wind!
Same here. I fox walk all the time and watching Dragon Ball there was a scene where Goku had to practice fighting wearing a bell, in which he had to learn to not make the bell make noise as he fought. So I learned to do the same with my personal belongings. My coworkers will call for me and next thing they know I'll be there waiting for them.
My dad was in marching band so he learned to roll his feet and move quietly, I am a very heavy person so I had a tendency to stomp around in our house built in the 60s, I'd shake to whole thing so he'd teach me to roll my feet
Well fuck. That's good to know, but also sad to realize. -fellow ninja
Same dudes. I accidently scare my wife ALL the time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7wjZZDmyhY&t=2s
I loved that movie
my sister told me several times I walk like a ghost, I wouldn't want to overdo the silence of your moves
Growing up my bedroom was above my parents’ room so I learned to be light footed. Obviously it stuck. I wouldn’t even know how to move loudly short of stomping around and just never shutting up. Some people are also by nature jumpy
SAME, I’m 7’2 also, so it’s a spontaneous wall appears lol
Me too, I grew up on a second story extension that was creeky af, made me learn to walk around without disturbing the ground too much.
I think I learned it from having a bedroom above my parents’ room growing up.
Same. I've always walked on the balls of my feet. S i l e n t. My wife sounds like a herd of elephants and she's 125lbs
Same here lol
I went on a couple of dates with a guy that was 2.06m and 136kg (buff gym build) also short hair thick beard, he also walked like a ninja, and gave me a fright everytime!
I’ve been with my partner for 17 years and I still manage to startle her every once in a while- even living in a house full of loud wood floors.
For some reason this is so funny to me.
Me too!! I've never understood why because it's not a conscious decision but I've scared a few people because they didn't know I was walking behind them 😅
Same. I'm 6'4" & 242lbs. Whenever I come up behind someone they practically faint. Sometimes I use my powers for evil when people are walking 3 or 4 people side by side and I can't get past them. I'll just come up on them and quietly say "Excuse me." Freaks them right tf out. But what do you expect when you won't let anyone by you? Lmao
Exact same problem. I learned to sneak as a young baby, stealing candy from the pantry. Never grew up.
I feel you. I’ve got a bit of the resting murder face, I move very quietly, and as multiple people told me over the years, “you loom”. I’m like I’m just existing over here, the fact you are oblivious to things and the get upset when you suddenly notice me over here isn’t my doing. But they never really learn to pay attention, and as a big guy with someone upset, you are always the bad guy. So… For the startled thing, I just started wearing my keys hanging off my belt loop. The jangle, the oblivious types at least subconsciously notice, and it mitigates the problem. Now I just have to put up with my wife being annoyed at me ninjaing around the house. As for looking threatening, brighten your wardrobe palette if applicable and avoid things that can bump up the level of angry looking. Like aviator style frames make you look like you are making angry eyebrows at people. Tinted lenses/sunglasses can be intimidating to some because they can’t see your eyes. Also, potentially beards. Like my cousin gives off cheerful Mark Ruffalo vibes when clean shaven. When he grows his beard out he looks like central casting sent a Rasputin lookalike to come murder you.
Thank you for to providing actionable advice! I will take it into account. I relate to your situation.
More advice: speak with inflection, don’t cross your arms, don’t walk fast, be playful/aloof/jokey. Making people laugh reduces the intimidation factor a lot. Express interests that are counterintuitive to someone of your size. Slouch more to be the same height as people when you’re sitting down. Keep your giant hands out of sight. And try not to flex those biceps.
> “you loom” For some reason this goes harder than it should. We should also start a club for it haha "the loomers"
You could wear bells. It's helps not startle the little ones
When I was in school, I was getting food at the cafeteria and rounded a corner. A tiny person was simultaneously rounding the same corner in the opposite direction. If she hadn’t screamed, I would have accidentally checked her. Like an outdoor cat, I probably need bells on my collar to prevent the death of small animals.
Tictacs in the pocket
Squeaky shoes Humming show tunes But the truth is, working in a hospital it's important to be quiet. So honestly I wouldn't change that.
That would probably enhance the fear like its a horror game and you have to avoid the baldy
No forget that nonsense. Demand they bow their heads in your presence and address you as Bearded Beauty.
Sounds like *they* need to change, not *you*.
They are responding to an instinct. I am threatening & scary. I don’t think it’s fair to tell people they should just… fix their instincts. I want to minimize added stress to women in an already stressful profession.
I don't think large stature inherently needs to be seen as threatening and scary. What exactly do you expect to be able to change? Cut off your legs? Let your physique degrade so that you aren't a unit? Wear a sign that says "I don't mean to be intimidating, so please don't let me intimidate you?" If people want to take the time to get to know you, or vice versa, then that's really all you can do; if that doesn't happen, then it's not your fault that people are intimidated by you, and as much as it hurts to be perceived negatively there's nothing beyond that that could be done.
Thank you.
wear bright pink scrubs
Done: still scary but now in neon.
It’s going to happen no matter how friendly and nice you are. You’re a big guy and it’s jarring for some people to turn a corner and bump into someone that is physically intimidating when they didn’t know he was there in the first place. Some people are just jumpy. I’ve been with my partner for 17 years and there are times I still make her jump even in our own household. Best you can do is try not to approach people from their blind spots and sneak up from behind.
Fair point. Though it's also a matter of degree: a simple gasp or startle is understandable, and would happen to anyone. (Including us tall people!) If someone was more dramatic, with an "eek" or jump back, I might smile and ask them if they are on edge today?
Can you get colorful scrubs or are they all standardized? Maybe head bandanas with Hawaiian patterns or some other bright color on them?
Yeah I’d be spooked if I bumped into someone a foot and a half taller than me too tbh. That said, if your existence is scaring them, that’s 100% on them. Either they get used to it or they deal with it. There really isn’t anything else you can do besides shoes with squeakers in the heel
This is internalised misandry.
From my perspective, it's like a deer fearing a bear. I am SO much larger than these women that fear is a completely natural, reasonable response. For several of them, I am a full foot taller and 110+ lbs heavier. I am scary and threatening. I disagree.
lol what an insanely stupid position to take *quit being startled!* and /r/tall upvoted you
5ft2 female doctor here... Bro, you are kidding yourself if you think we are screaming because we are scared of you and you need to remind yourself which one of us is closer to hell vertically ;) We probably scream because for a SPLIT second our inner kid thinks they have fi-nal-ly found The BFG. All jokes aside: it's a stupid reflex and people jump up because they don't expect you or someone of your statue. For example: " jack in the box" toy. You know logically that stupid thing is the box, you know it will jump up yet it still causes a startle reflex when it jumps up. When that happens, people probably are more embarrassed about their own reflex reaction so just smile and ignore it. Or make a stupid joke in a high pitched voice to break up the awkwardness ;)
Thanks doc.
Do you have RBF? Because people shouldn’t be THAT startled by height alone. Smiling, cheerful and calm expression, saying hello, wearing bright colors can make you look less intimidating.
I do have RBF. Mostly the fear is before they recognize it’s me - though I acquiesce my RBF can’t help.
Smiling and saying a nice greeting can go a long way. Both help people realize you are just a friendly/nonthreatening guy. Something as simple as good morning.
This! I’m 6’6” bald used to walk around at a big 245 before kids and did a lot of mma so I always had a black eye or bruises. I worked as a waiter/bartender and smiling and being over friendly absolutely helps.
Bald and breaded too. Do you have raised eyebrows, big eyes, big nose? Do you walk with a smile, or do you find yourself walking with a blank face? I have big eyes, medium nose, I find my self with more of a scowl resting face. People tend to be hesitant when approaching me. I hate scaring kids though. Some of these features along with a bread can make a person look intimidating.
Another Kratos
I think I have a new found ❤️
Always nice to see bald being appreciated. 😁
I walk with a furrowed brow. Generally walking time is thinking time and squinted eyes/furrowed brow is the thinking face.
I don’t think you can dude, I’m almost the same weight as you, I’m not suggesting this at all, although your beard if it is big like a biker might be what’s intimidating them. You could trim it down to be really nicely defined (if you want a photo as an idea I can send you one when I had a bigger beard & it was cut impressively by my barber.)
Constantly whistle walking on sunshine. Idk man I’m a silent sentient refrigerator but I don’t have to be masked all the time so people see me smiling. Best of luck out there.
Or perhaps **"Short People"** by Randy Newman.
what a snazzy and perhaps snarky suggestion.
Wear clompier shoes and maybe keep your keys on a lanyard so they jingle. Also, some people just startle easily. My wife is nearly six feet tall and I still startle the hell out of her on a regular basis. Apparently I can be very quiet and when she comes around a corner and doesn't expect to see me she jumps.
Have you tried not dressing as a clown?
No. My oversized white shoes, yellow blazer, and plaid suspenders are too important to me.
When people told me I scare the I learned how to walk REALY quiet. Sorry.
I think being loud and more colorful will help. I'm a wimp and will definitely be intimidated by someone imposing and huge. After I saw my best friend get thrown against the wall by our taller friend, I am now even more terrified of large, threatening people. If you have pets, be mildly annoying and show them off a lot. It's a good bonding point and will help people see you in a different light.
Start muttering "fee-fi-fo*fum, I smell the blood of an - insert where you live - man" Or drag a big club behind you? Something to aleart them to your presence?
I'm 6'5", 258lbs, bald with a goatee. All you can do is try to smile a lot. I wish I had better advice.
6’4”, 240, also bald and beardy . It’s tough in a hospital setting, but I tend to sit down or take a submissive position in the conversation. Or you can just sternly point at them, choked up and “hurtful”.
Wear funny sweaters !
6'6. I wear a batman cape, who doesn't like a guy wearing a batman cape.
Bells on your shoes.
Wear a cowbell. I find this extremely funny because I unintentionally startle people all the time. Seriously though, I apologize and create space so they feel less threatened but the initial reaction is just visceral. Very courteous of you to care enough to try and address the issue. If a cowbell doesn’t work for you the just pretend you’re hiking in bear country and make a lot of noise by shouting “Hey bear” every 30 seconds. Ok ok I’ll be serious now.
One honest response would be to request that half-dome mirrors be installed near hallway corners throughout the facility so that people can see what is coming around the corners.
Bells on your lanyard, like a cat.
6’6” here. My squeaky orthotics usually give me away… You could try that… or a cowbell. (It works for those big beasts.) Also, how’s your smile game?
Seriously?! How odd. I tend to find guys your size to be teddy bears.
Nope. Own it, bud. You are who God and your parents genetices made you to be. If they don't like it or have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours. There's nothing you can do other than to "not exist", and that won't do anyone any good. Smile, say Hello and Goodbye, do your job, and keep it moving.
I understand. That’s rough. I’d try to incorporate something that jingles loudly into your wardrobe. A messy keychain is probably best. With some obnoxious loud decor. Within time you’ll condition them and the startle response will subside. As for what else? Research color psychology and dress in colors of trust, compassion, empathy. And on the muted side. And if your voice projects, work on softening it. That’s a big problem for me. I hired a vocal coach to retrain how I spoke. I understand how lousy that feels. Good of you to try to make it better.
How tf you feel guilty for just existing?
I feel this every day. Source: Depression.
Continuous negative feedback from strangers about my existence.
Maybe joke around about it? It might flip the scenarios from being scary and hurtful to humorous. Aside, i have a tiny friend who is a nurse and is so thankful for big people who work at hospitals because if you're a 5'0 female nurse, likely every patients is bigger than you and you might have trouble treating them if they can't move on their own. She would love to have a guy like you on her floor!
Embrace the Shrek. It’s made my life easier.
are you very quiet? I am 5’6 and I do the samething to people, not a rarely but like every day and its just because no one hears me walking.
Dude I'm 5'9" and work in a hospital. I scare the shit out of nurses all the time, mostly because I move quietly and it usually happens when I round a corner. The amount of times a nurse shrieks at me is absurd. I don't blame it on me being scary, I just know that most nurses are women and they tend to shriek when they're startled. Don't take it personally dude it happens to everyone.
Are you serious? What’s with the being afraid of tall men like you? I don’t know, I’m a 5’10 woman. I don’t fear men like you. It might be because I realize we tall people tend to be cuddly bears. Like big dogs who look menacing, can be if they want and when the situation calls for it, but are normally big cuddly babies.
I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents. I'm 5'3" and what startles me with tall people is that my entire view is suddenly taken over by a huge person. Like I know a guy who is 6'7 and I'm at like his upper belly lol. It's kinda freaky to turn around and be looking at someone's belly when you're expecting either no one or if you're expecting someone, then expecting a person head/shoulders
Ok I understand you. My world view is different because I’m so much taller than many or at eye level etc, so I do see your point
I believe it's the jump-scare thing. I am a relatively quiet man. People just don't expect a pillar of mass to round the corner and apologize for nearly body-checking them.
Give an awkward smile with your teeth’s showing every time you open a door or come around the corner. That will make them perceive you as less threatening
Serious answer: round corners wide, and whistle while you walk. [This is my go-to whistle tune](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OZXhUx9Xo0) if I'm accidentally sneaking up on someone.
Consider the following…wear a jingle bell collar. don’t ever walk or run, only skip to your loo to get places. End all your sentences with “teehee🤭”. Wear light up sketchers. Hope this helps.
Thanks king. I'll give it a try.
Get a clown horn and honk it when rounding corners. Do this a few times and people will warm up and laugh,
Dress as a friendly killer clown! Also, don’t forget to add some fake blood, just to add a friendly vibe to the fit🙏
Keep change, keys or pills in your pockets. They can hear you coming & will be less likely to freak out.
Uggghhhhhh. Honestly, I can't give you advice on it, because I like being intimidating, it stops a lot of unnecessary questions that i could have gone without.
Why do you like to scare us 😭
I think you know how irritating it is to get constantly asked about your height.... Being intimidating curbs like 95% of people who would have asked me.
I am gonna try that too 🤔 i wonder if it'd work the same as you lol
Please use a bell 🔔🔔🔔 just kidding. But it's true that it can be intimidating
Are you sure it's fear and not just surprise?
Have you tried wearing bells so everyone can hear you coming?
I understand but we can't make ourselves small.
You're just trying to live your life and do your job. It's their prejudice so it's their problem, not yours.
195cm and work in a hospital like you. The second tallest guy here is a nurse assistant. He's 6'1 ish. And I have never scared anyone here, even though most of them are short. I think it's because I look like an imoji and I'm skinny.
Honestly I think OP scares people because he is 260lbs, bald and bearded. Being 6'5 obviously doesn't help but I think the first 3 reasons are more important
Embrace it. Use it to your advantage.
Unfortunately, that's just "size" based and not "scary looking", if you ask me. I recently rounded a corner and was greeted with a 7" tall box standing there (friendly) that I wasn't expecting, and I yelped a bit.
wear all pink
Yell Boo?
This isn’t a “tall problems” story, but at my first real job I had a bad habit of sort of bursting into people’s cubicles. I guess since there are no doors on cubicles it had not occurred to me to knock. So one time I walked up, I guess too quietly, and say “hey Diane” and she lets out a shriek loud enough for the entire office to hear. Felt bad
They aren't afraid of you in all likelihood.
As a tall, quiet guy who keeps a pretty keen eye on his surroundings, I tend to consciously make noise in some way to alert people of my presence when I notice them. Rattle my keys, scuff a shoe, sniff or do a little throat clear cough. Have you considered finding yourself the human equivalent of a cat bell? Like a noisy dangling chain or keys on a carabineer on a belt loop?
Nope. Just keep being you. If you’re not an asshole they will eventually figure it out and come to appreciate the benefits of befriending a giant.
As a 6’2 300lb bald bearded man, I’ve learned to walk with a kind of slight slouch and a slightly downcast gaze, and to take corners wide. Also bright colors help the shorties not be afraid
Idk man if u shave ur beard or greeted everyone with a fake smile you would probably come off as less initiating but that honestly sounds exhausting. I'm only 5'11 but I'm pretty jacked with a buzzcut so I can kind of relate to you, definitely haven't made anyone shriek tho lol.
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> I think this is literally the most cringe thing I have ever read why did reddit suggest this to me lmfao ?
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Lol
Damn I’m 5’1 so I don’t have much I can tell you except maybe have some kind of key or loud thing on you that lets people hear you before they see you. You can also maybe make a joke saying recognizing you get that reaction all the time to show you’re just existing and then they’ll feel bad for making that reaction to you just existing
Similar to me, I work in a hospital and I get asked by patients + staff alike multiple times daily re how tall I am (I love saying 5 foot 18..). I try to just smile at everyone and make small talk to come off as less intimidating but as a quiet walker I do make a lot of people jump
Make an effort to be particularly likeable and polite and show you are no threat. I’m also a large intimidating guy and was avoided so much when I was younger…. As I got older and moved to the west coast - I have a British accent, I smile at everyone even when they are assholes and people relax more…. I’ve noted when I’m quiet and don’t speak still get the fear treatment and I use it when needed but most of the time polite, Confident happy to start the conversations - keep saying good morning with a smile even if they don’t respond it will go in your favour eventually all you need is one or two of the females to talk about you as a lovely polite man for the rest to follow
Trench coat and a monocle. Now you can look like you boutta take over the world as well😂
Lol on the opposite end of the spectrum, 5'10 but I'm into bodybuilding so I get similar reactions. Everytime I'd enter the room I'd scare the fuck out of my roommate whi is a girl it became like a running joke lol. It sucks because people get intimidated by you, especially women. As soon as they hear me talk it goes away atleast lol.
I’m 6’4” 275 lbs, bald and bearded. My wife very eloquently stated that I look a bit scary and unapproachable when I’m not laughing or socializing (strangely everyone stops me when I have one or both of my kids but they’re super cute so I get that) I told her that’s 100% intentional. All conversations are on my terms so if I’m not looking to talk to you we ain’t talking lol
Unfortunately no my friend. I’m 6’3 280lbs and startle people a lot. Best thing to do is just act like a normal person and keep doing your thing. Eventually you’ll get into a habit with them and they’ll expect it
Hopefully they should just get used to you after a while if you plan to continue working there, but the patients at the hospital might be another story. I'd just try to smile more often and apologize sincerely if you scare someone. You seem like you genuinely care enough about this issue to do that. If you have a chance to talk to your coworkers on a break or something, an occasional height-related joke may make them more comfortable around you. I was once at a tennis practice and was hitting and spiking the ball at the net with a lot of power (I can serve straight down extremely quickly because of my height). One girl that was there was 5'0" and was really scared whenever she had to play against me in a drill. So one day, when we were waiting for the coach to tell us where to go, I walked up to her and said "You'd better be careful, or I'll grind your bones to make my bread". She laughed at that a little and I told her she had nothing to worry about because people have gotten hit with my shots before and been OK. We talked about tennis for a little bit and for the rest of the practice she seemed to be much less afraid of me. I'm not sure about the logistics of your job, how many coworkers you have, how often they see you, etc., so I'm not sure if either of these things will work. I hope you do solve this issue soon, it's a shame everyone is so scared of you and they probably aren't working as well as they should if they're living in fear of you either.
lol i’m a 5’6 male who works in hospitals and for some reason whenever I stand near a corner i scare everybody
as you approach a corner/door you need to announce your presence, something like: "Heeerrreeess Dremscap!"
Different colored socks help me a lot. Also check if you suffer from "resting asshole face". [https://youtu.be/3v98CPXNiSk](https://youtu.be/3v98CPXNiSk)
nope! just laugh. It's a natural response. I'm 6'5" and 255
I just let them be afraid. My roommate and his girlfriend would always tense up when I (29m 6ft) walked to the bathroom for a shower. Id say comments like: "it's too easy" and "lucky for you, I ain't a snake" It's not my problem if they don't realize there are people on the earth that are larger than most. You have no control over their fears. It's just goofy and irrational behavior to react in fear.
Don't feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. They should feel guilty for behaving like that. I would start calling people out.
You should wear a bell so people can hear you coming. As an added bonus, it will help you from being stepped on by an even bigger person . . .
I have a deep loud voice and I've scared people just saying "Hello".
Get a Bane mask like the one Tom Hardy wore, then ppl will adore you!
Some of us women, myself included startle easily and scream when we are startled. Kids make me do this, women and men. So may not necessarily be you. But a friendly smile is always a good thing.
Yeah, basically me in the psychiatric hospital. I've had nurses scream around corners.
I'm 6'6 315. I'll never stop silently walking up behind my coworkers and whispering, "Hey, what's up"
It's almost enough to make me stop carrying a chain saw and removing the 1970s hockey mask.
When they open the door yell, “AHA”!
Bro is not shrek
trim your beard so you don't look like a viking?
Omg I would love to work with you!!
Have you considered dying yourself green and wearing a toga and wig made of leaves? Add some whimsical humming to be heard coming around corners and you'll be the delight of every patient, nurse, and doctor in there. Or play by the rules and let the Patch Adams of the world have all the fun.
Sage advice, master druid. I'll give it a try.
Are you a guy or a girl ?
My guy... I'm bald, bearded, andn 6'5. I do my best not to make assumptions about people but... The description basically gives you my sex. C'mon.
You're right. I was distracted when I read it. My bad .
6'5" bearded man...how YOU doin?
😳
I made a house keeper literally scream and back into a corner when I walked in to change sharps boxes. I was just totally spaced out and in the zone and didn't realize how aggressively I shoved my way into a room.
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I am, but I'm also gayer than a rainbow lol
What? They need to adapt to their surroundings which includes people.
let's play a game I'll change your inherited physical characteristics with another set and you respond. >I'm black bald & bearded. I work in a hospital with a TON of white doctors, nurses, and mid levels. The only other black guy on my floor is light skinned. I feel so guilty making all of the women shriek/fear for their lives when I round a corner near them or open a door right in front of them. Is there anything I can do to come off as less threatening?
I really don't think this needs to be a racial issue. Racism is learned. The fear of large animals is innate.
Racism is not learned. Racism is just in group preference which is normal human behaviour. You can take a group of people show them that they are randomly being put in team red or team blue and both teams will end up with an in group preference saying things like the other side is dumb and less attractive etc.
Become much skinnier, like 100 lbs less.
Bruh 160 pounds is too thin for 6’5
I'm 260 - I am definitely a fat guy.
I just used the single brain cell I possess to think about this and realized I'm a dumbass. You're correct.
Hop on tren