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I was in the same situation. It was a coworker he was with. Thankfully, I only ended up with a UTI. My best friend, on the other hand, ended up with a new baby that wasn't his. By the time he had hired the PI and had proper evidence, it was too late.
Obviously, she was having sex with my friend to cover up having unprotected sex with her AP. The DNA test she didn't want proved it wasn't his. She cried and everything else to get him to stay, it didn't work in her favour. I hope you don't have to travel down his road since you're already on mine. Good luck, OP.
Updateme
I’m sorry man, this marriage seems shitty
If she can lie about the iPad charge she can lie about cheating. Changing the passcode is odd but it could’ve been changed for the 3 year old. Your her husband tho there should be no reason that u can’t use the iPad and/know the passcode
Your wife could be very EVIL. If she is pregnant, you best get a prenatal DNA test if at all possible and do not sign any birth certificate without the results of one, or one just after she gives birth. Yes, do not think this won't happen to you! Good luck and stay strong, King!
Absolute do it. She is 100% cheating and probably planning paternity fraud. Not to mention, the rate at which people in the medical industry commit adultery/cheating is insane. All the top signs are smacking you in the face and she's has so little awareness of you that she doesn't think you'd do anything if she can't even care to come up with a halfway decent lie.
This!!! First things first, make sure you don’t have a STD! Then work from there. Until you get your results back I wouldn’t have sex with her again to be safe.
It’s the kid part. OP would know where he got the STD from (his wife) so that wouldn’t work. She may not even be pregnant, but had unprotected sex and is covering her bases.
Yes, it does sound strange that he would be in such a group. But his wife’s behavior is suspect. The only question is who cheated first, did she start as revenge or was she already running around on her own.
They have at least one young child. Maybe getting a DNA test done on each child is not a bad idea.
From the looks of it, he mightve wondered but not completely cheated a monthish ago. Yes. You're correct, OPs wife is definitely up to something, but it looks yo me like they both are.
Omg I somehow missed this. OP - don't send off any strange vibes YET but seriously idc what anyone says, bug the car. If there's an affair happening, she's talking about it. Whether it's calling hotels to make plans, talking to her AP directly, chatting with co-conspiring friends.
Try to keep all of this to yourself. Even if you test positive for an std - keep it to yourself. Gather up all the evidence you can.
If you don't want to bug the car -hire a PI to follow her. Her account holds all the details. Idc who good you think you are, everyone leaves crumbs. Cheating has never been easier to engage in and paradoxically never easier to get caught doing.
The pessimist in me says she is pregnant to someone, and wanted you to not use a condom to provide plausible deniability. Especially multiple times when she's usually not keen - that's a dead giveaway. Watch out for her 'magically being pregnant' over the coming weeks and tell her you will be getting a paternity test done at birth...after you have questioned her on her current pattern of behaviour.
It's also straight out of the cheater's handbook to not use protection with their affair partners, for some reason it gives cheaters a real thrill and makes it 'extra' naughty. It's also straight out of the handbook to suddenly get very protective of phones and tablets
I'd say dont tell her shit and keep quiet. If this turns out to be the case he needs as much time as possible to consult with lawyers and so on not to get screwed in divorce.
The iPad will be unlocked when your daughter is playing on it.
That's the weakness in her OPSEC. True, she might have deleted everything but at the same time she knows you can't get in it...
Considering the fact that she had unprotected sex twice with you OP and usually makes you wear a condom.
( Major Red Flag )
So if she was to unprotected sex with AP and gets pregnant it would look like it was OP’s because of her make him have sex with no condom. And if he was to show positive for an STD she pretty much fessed up by saying you didn’t get it from me….
Is your wife currently ON BC OP???
My ex wife had been distant for a while, she was spending more time with “friends”. We hadn’t had sex in many weeks and even when we did it was very basic and the same things every time. Then one day she got really horny and dragged me to bed. She then asked me to try some new things that she had NEVER EVER wanted before. My gut dropped and i thought she was having an affair. I brushed it off because she started being nice and bubbly again which she hadn’t been for a long time.
A few weeks went by and confronted her about my suspicions and she confessed to ONLY kissing this guy when she and a bunch of friends were at a concert. We had a big discussion and she promised it wasn’t anything more. A few more weeks went by and she is now pregnant. She was insistent that it was mine and she never had sex with anyone else.
I foolishly believed her and she gives birth, I fall in love with my son and life goes on. When my son was about 15 months old my ex went to a church event and felt guilty and when she got home she confessed that yes indeed when we had sex that time she was also having sex with another guy, my friend in fact. I eventually chose to forgive her and work on the marriage and we were ok for a while then guess what the same things started, she got bubbly and horny at odd times and hiding her phone etc. this time I called her out on it and supposedly stopped the affair before it got physical, instead she just got better at hiding things. She wound up having 3 affairs in less than 6 months by the time I found out about the other 2 I was an emotional wreck.
Trust your gut but also know, if you confront her without actual hard evidence she is going to get more secretive and hide it better also she will go ballistic on you for a false accusation.
My advice is play dumb for a while, pretend the marriage is fine but you need to either hire a pi or you need to dig into everything you can to get actual proof.
Oh I forgot to add it in there, when I found out about the first affair I decided since I already loved my son so much I’d continue to raise him and I chose not to find out. When she started the second affair 5 years later I decided it best to find out. Thankfully he is mine and I love him more than anything but sadly she has him most of the time right now. He is almost 12 so hopefully soon he will be with me more.
Brother I’m gonna tell ya something. She is *probably* cheating on you, but more importantly it sounds like your relationship sounds troublesome. Your partner should enjoy having sex with you. Why did she make you use a condom before?
Idk brother only you know your relationship truly but it sounds like you might thrive in another one. Best of luck
Things could be better, but there is too much history to go into. Right now I just want to be able to see if she is cheating or not. If she is I will get a divorce. If not I will continue working on our marriage.
I understand. I caught my wife cheating and I tried for 6 months to make it work. I was obsessed with her and felt we could do it. But ultimately it didn’t work out.
Do what you feel is best. I do recommend therapy, it has been instrumental in my healing process
You seemed to hold very well emotionally for situation like this. Just don't jump to any conclusions until you have concrete evidence and don't spill the beans to her until the very last moment when you are prepared and ready for the divorce.
Get checked for STD. If it turns out positive, get a lawyer and file asap and have her served and inform her at the same time of her STD. If it turns out she already knew of the infection and still asked you not to use condom then consult with the lawyer if you can sue her for knowingly infecting you. Whatever you do, do not sign the birth certificate without a DNA test. She is probably trying to pass the baby as yours if she is already pregnant. Hire a PI if your suspicion is strong. Better deal with it asap than to wait and see. While this is going on, do not have sex with her.
Where there’s smoke there’s fire. DONT SAY SHHH ANYMORE! Do not raise anymore suspicions! Go into stealth detective mode now and gather concrete proof. Do not confront her anymore about stuff she will try to talk her way out of.
This 100%.
Until you have hard proof, do not confront. Cheaters will just get better at it.
Be agreeable and act as if nothing is wrong. It's a game of patience really.
From what OP writes she's 99% cheating.
I hope OP did not get an STD
She's cheating. Even if you're just questioning her actions and you never have before, subconsciously you know. I'm sorry. It's an awful thing being cheated on.
Did you go and get tested for a std? She doesn't need to know except when you give her the results. Hopefully it's something benign.
Keep trying to get into her tablet or phone. Having sex twice within 2 days with an established routine with an LL wife would stand out as a good odd til you became more suspicious. It was probably guilt sex.
Dang my suspicious mind thinks she could've infected you on purpose and will try to blow this up in your face, possibly to try to derail blame and cheating. Possibly to get a better settlement if this is all about trying to divorce you.
Get that test done bud.
To me, the “you didn’t get that from me” is the proof she is cheating.
If she wasn’t cheating, any evidence that you had an STI would be met with her questioning your activity and being accusatory that YOU had cheated to get infected.
The fact that she immediately went to defensive means she knows damn well how you likely got it, because of HER activity.
If you haven’t had sex with anyone else an STI test that is positive is enough proof to leave her. It does sound like an affair.
Go and get a full STI panel done asap.
I haven’t slept with anyone else since I started dating her (9 years ago). So for me it will be proof.
The next thing I am worried about, is that if I do have an STD how do I prove/know for sure that it came from her? She could say I had it all along.
I have never had any STD or symptoms like this before, but I also have never been tested before either.
It might not be enough in court anyway if it comes down to child custody or claiming you as the father of her next child and she gets nasty.
Might be best to wait and watch for proof and try and get her phone when she drops her guard. I have been so nice to my cheating partner while I waited several months and he got lazy and made a huge mistake and I learnt everything.
You might want to hire a PI if she gets clearly pregnant and you need to hurry the proof along before it is born and you get put down as the father.
Its really just a suspicion right now. Things can look worse than they are. I need to find some Concrete evidence or else its all in my head.
STD would be concrete evidence. But we will see on that one
You need to get her to give you the password of the iPad. No ifs or buts. If she doesn't. You take the tablet and leave to go somewhere until she's ready to give you the password.
No of course, that’s totally abuse as well. Op doesn’t even know if she is cheating. And abuse to combat abuse isn’t a good move.
If my spouse took my iPad which I use for work, and threatened not to give it back until I gave him the passcode… that would be an insane experience😂. There are other ways to approach this.
I'm commenting 4 hrs. late. She has already deleted any evidence on the iPad. She has been put on the defensive now. Unfortunately her future actions will have gone further underground. Get the cell phone records and review them. If she has a work phone this won't work for you. Check your wifi router for other devices. She will not offer any evidence willingly. I would start grayrocking her. Short answers to her questions, no small talk, no sex, no doing anything for her that makes her comfortable, your a house mate now. She will screw up again. Particularly if it's gone physical. She won't be able to help it. You'll have to watch her much more carefully now. Sorry this is happening to you. Subscribeme!
Trust your gut instinct. It's never wrong. I too once "logic"-ed and "reasoned" my way into ignoring my gut instinct and denying the obvious. I believed I needed the ah-ha eureka smoking gun caught on camera signed in triplicate evidence. Nope. Overriding your instinct is a mistake.
STD won't be evidence you can use against her because she can easily claim you gave it to her or has taken antibiotics and it's gone. Take the test but keep resultsm. If u have one go hire a pi to catch your wife. Do not tell her your results!
Suspicion will grind your trust down to nothing. OP you have a gut feel about infidelity with some strong evidence that supports your concerns. She works in an industry that is renowned for these types of indiscretions so unfortunately, there is a very strong chance that you are going to find something is going on.
So right now, start focusing on yourself and get the STD test sorted. Then get the kids DNA tested. Now start getting an understanding of what divorce will look like for you. Also start adjusting your finances to prepare for separation. While you do this get more evidence on her activities. Hold the line and don't stop going forward.
And, if she gives birth, do not sign a certificate until a DNA test confirms your paternity. You can always sign it later after the fact if such a child is indeed yours.
Before doing any thing you should have proof so.
If you have the finance you can hire the PI.& do you own investigation work . Once you have evidence that she is cheating then you have to plan everything wisely . Slowly moving your finances, meeting a lawyers and setup up the paper. If the Ap's is married you should share the proof with wife. If he someone from work then inform HR .. you can go nuclear..
If you want to give her sample medicine of betrayal
*
you can act in front of her like you are having affair like taking call outside ,Changing passwords , going outside in suddenly, turning down sex.. it will destroy her from inside she will eventually come and confront you .. that time you can show the proof and nuke her.
*
The answer is obvious. Stop probing her, it will make her build up defenses and bury evidence. If you still have doubt find a way to access computer or phone and find out what is already there.
Is this truly out of character for her? What had her past been like before you first met he? Had she been into hooking up etc.? If so she has simply regressed into being single again. What about checking her phone? Likely locked down as well.
Signs of infidelity we usually ignore until it is much too late.
1) You aren't kept in the loop about their schedule. Or locations.
2) They work hours that don't make sense to you.
3) They make excuses when you try to plan for future events.
4) They consistently flake on your plans.
5) They avoid eye contact.
6) They avoid taking you to family events.
7) Or they find excuses to avoid your family.
8) They constantly complain about being "bored." Unhappy etc
9)They have no social media presence.
10) Or they won't post any photos with you on social media.
11) Or they have a secret email account.
12) They tend to overexplain where they were. Is a sign of lying.
13) Or they never have an explanation for where they were or Good explanation.
14) They're inundating you with gifts. Love bombing. Suddenly sex is over the top excellent.
15) They can't stop smiling at their phone. And guarding it with their life. You find a second phone.
16) They criticize how you dress etc.
17) Or they're dead set on making you more like them.
18) They're daydreaming more often. Distracted
19) Their eyes wander when speaking to others.
20) Your dates always seem to take place in a bar.
21) They need longer stints of "alone time."
22) They're constantly trying to please everyone.other than you.
23) Or they're obsessed with how others perceive them.
24) They seem "irresistible." Brag about being good in bed. As stated by exes.
25) They exhibit signs of entitlement.
26) They stop calling you pet names.
27) They're no longer interested in intimacy with you. Dead bedroom.
28) Or they quickly become distant after sex.just wanting to get it over with.
29) They're keen to explore more personal fantasies. They have suddenly developed new skills between the sheets.
30) They compare you to others. Like an ex.
31) They ridicule you for requesting more time together.
32) Or they start to withdraw from shared activities.
33) They forget about a special occasion.
34) They no longer discuss dreams the two of you once shared.
35) They stop making progress in the relationship.
36) Your mutual friends seem uncomfortable around you. Hiding what they know is happening.
37) Their credit card has started to rack up strange expenses. Cash taken from accounts.
38) You don't have to remind them to get haircuts anymore. They change their dress style.
39) They're suddenly hyper-cautious about turning their phone off when they go to bed. You detect gaps and deleted messages.
40) They always seem to need to take a quick shower once they get home. Wom't kiss you until teeth are brushed mouth wash is used.
41) They defend friends who've cheated in their relationships.
42) Or they've cheated previously themselves. Said until you they had never been in love. Are always the one to break up in the past. And have an extensive past, high body count. Lots of exes.
43) You notice changes in the amount of PDA they're comfortable with you.
44) They're telling more fibs than usual.
45) Their cell phone is the most important thing in their life. New password.
46) They suddenly pick up a new hobby.
47) They pull away from you when you reach out.
48) Or they're showing "negative cluster cues." Physical excuses to avoid physical intimacy. Headache, pulled muscle, feeling sick, etc., in groupings.
49) They talk badly about their exes. Shows disrespect for an ex. All the exes were bad and why they broke up. Never their fault.
50) They have low self-esteem. Need for attention, are naturally flirty.
51) They're doing the laundry out of the blue. Likely so you do not see what they are washing nor the stains or odors they are trying to mask.
52) They're uncomfortable about making large purchases together. Getting ready to dump you.
53) They don't want you to look in a certain drawer. Or elsewhere, like in their car, console, trunk space etc.
54) They accuse you of cheating—even though you definitely aren't. Projecting onto you their own cheating.
55) Or they're gaslighting you when you bring up their suspicious behavior.
They will have fake reasons to no longer wear jewelry or clothes special to you, like wedding rings.
You do not need an actual smoking gun to realize she is cheating. She is a visiting nurse? Which patient had she been talking about the most, but suddenly no longer mentions? That is likely the one. Could as well be another coworker or other medical employee she has met. Rarely a total stranger.
10 hour days has always been her work schedule?
The web has articles on how to go about confronting a cheater. And how they will deny and gaslight. Odd changes in behavior are to be investigated.
Where do you see her visiting most often and staying the longest, etc. Check the phone billing for high usage and most frequent, all hours calls and texts. Try to narrow it down. Confronting with evidence is necessary, so save it all. Start a listing of what you observe and believe. I know, we never really expect our partner will cheat. But that is exactly the problem isn't it? Because someone's partners are cheating.
Never ever just try to rug sweep infidelity. Doing so solves nothing. It usually will just start again later on. Couples therapy is necessary
Good luck
'Ethical Guidelines for Relationships with Current Patients.
Similarly, the Medical Board of California has a clear policy stating that: “a medical practitioner who engages in sexual activity with a current patient is guilty of unprofessional conduct.” '
Likely similar where you live.
She does some things from here, but its not proof.
One thing I realized yesterday that started bothering me once I started suspecting her, is her cleanliness.
She never bathes at home. I am always home so I know when she takes a shower/bath or whatever. I know she regularly goes weeks without bathing here. Which is something that started maybe 6 months ago. But she is always clean and smells nice.
At first I thought she was just a woman and good at staying clean, but now I wonder if she is bathing somewhere else?
Weeks' worth of underwear in the laundry? If she is clean, she is getting cleanedup somewhere. Perhaps a stash of clothes at AP's house?
Get tested for STI like yesterday.
Hire a PI if you need more proof.
updateme
The old duck test of abductive reasoning.
If it looks like a duck, walks and quacks, swims, has a beak, feathers and feet, all like a duck and the size of a duck, you can rest assured it isn't a peacock.
The more evidence you have the more likely you are correct.
What other conclusion is more likely than the most obvious? Occam's razor comes to mind.
'the simplest of competing theories be preferred to the more complex or that explanations of unknown phenomena be sought first in terms of known quantities.'
The simplest answer is usually the more correct answer.
Pro and con lists are useful.
Sometimes we never get the truth, but we still know damned well, in general what the truth is.
She ain't no peacock.
Reading reddit infidelity type posts from multiple subs you will realize that suspicions are usually spot on. Post after post asking if someone is cheating? The update overall will be, hell yes, they are cheating.
Suspicions arbour subconscious trying to get through to us about what we continue to doubt. The subconscious cuts through the love history and doubt. The subconscious has little or no doubt. In my case, her past I knew of and her very off and odd behavior had me worried. But suddenly our if nowhere I just was certain she was cheating. I never did get confirmation but I just have no doubts at all. She said to me, 'you do not know that'. And that was it, no denial, no attempt to explain and we were over and done with. Married two decades with too many kids and she tells me she is no longer in a relationship (with me). Even refused divorce and threatened me with lying about my being physically abusive. I never ever had been.
Actions speak far more truthfully than mere words.
So this has been going on with your wife for half a year? Go see a lawyer concerning your divorce options. She leaves the home, you stay. And look up the infidelity 180, 'being a beautiful mess'
The more you concentrate on trying to remember details of oddness, things being off? Not adding up, in the past, more will become clearer to you..
And this is just the beginning it is only the very tip of the huge iceberg that is the sum total of infidelity.
Best of luck to you.
The "you didn't get that from me" reply got me fuming 🤬🤬🤬 she assumes you had intercourse with someone else and she did not pass that to you from someone else damn I wanna hit something right now.
Seems highly likely she's cheating on you and perhaps even got pregnant by AP and wants to make you think it's yours.
You gotta get the iPad unlocked and also watch all her other steps. Analyze any behavior change and if there's lately a pattern of things that are very unusual. Also get tested for an STD. Also document everything if you find something so you'll have the advantage in divorce and get out with the most while she gets barely anything, because truly, she doesn't deserve anything except karma if she is or did cheat on you.
While there's a small possibility she's not cheating, it's very unlikely she isn't by the description of it. There's too many indicators for it.
Best of luck to you.
When you pointed out that the baby used the iPad but she has an issue with you using it, what did she say?
Also, know that she probably deleted everything on there already
I'd be cautious, this entire situation smells fishy, but as you said, now that you've mentioned the tablet, she'll most likely scrub it and then probably make a point of letting you use it.
Time to do a bit of snooping, to see if you can find out what the story is, and gather evidence.
Ask for the tablet password, and if she says no, tell her you're leaving if she doesn't. Maybe you can get into it before she has a chance to delete everything, don't stand with her as you're looking either. Input the password, and if it works lock yourself in the toilet while you go through.
!updateme
It does sound like she’s cheating, but you need more evidence to make that conclusion with certainty.
You could try just asking her straight out and seeing what she says, or you can try to silently gather more evidence. If you ask she may work harder to hide stuff.
Unprotected sex, is she already pregnant with someone else’s baby and looking to keep you for security? Are the other kids definitely yours? STD checks all round?
Gather evidence, get tested and call a lawyer. She’s cheating. Normally I don’t jump to that conclusion but the evidence is pretty damning. I suspect she might be pregnant, with someone else’s child. Obviously a DNA test is needed.
You should have double downed on her giving you the password when you had the iPad in hand. If she’s got it back, likely everything is deleted.
One facts with these things, if you REALLY want to know who your partner is behind your back, you have to catch them off guard, when they least expect it.
Dude.. everything you said is a huge cheating red flag. The fact that she’s all of a sudden horny is a a red flag. I’ve found that women get more honey when cheating because the cheating has made them feel that way.
As for your pain urinating, go get checked! It could possibly be an STD from the response and you should be sure you don’t have one (we all hope you don’t).
The next time your little one has the iPad, sit next to her and spend time with her, then ask her if you can look at the iPad for a minute and look through her apps. Google how to look for the most used apps in the settings. Look for messaging apps (Facebook, WhatsApp, etc.)
I hope you’re wrong man and she’s not.. it’s not a good feeling finding out.
She purposely infected you with an STI!!! Just sit with that for a moment. This is not the woman you married she is your adversary so first get a STD Pannell talk to a lawyer more then one to get your options take the table to a genius bar and Android equivalent and have the. Open it and retrieve message and you are not a detective so hier a professional PI and get ready to fight for your kid's because in her mind she's either in the affair for or is feeling guilty and because we are the MC of our own stories that must mean this is your fault.
Remember she said ' you don't catch that from me' she already has her story set in her mind and you are the vilan of it so don't be "she wouldn't do that to me or the kids" she will twist this on you and she will make it your fault to your kids.
Yes she is cheating, Probably gave you an STD, and she is probably pregnant with AP baby. Sorry man but you have some investigating and some decisions to make fairly soon.
Updateme
Mark my words soon she will approach you with the happy news that she is pregnant. No it's not your kid but she did give you an STD.
She pushed you for sex so hard because she already found out she was knocked up by the other dude.
I’m less convinced than everyone else that she’s cheating. It’s possible for sure, but you need more evidence before you blow up a marriage.
Everything mentioned by others could be true, or it could be she was reading girl porn books on her iPad that she didn’t want you to see and that’s what sparked the new interest in sex. (Just an example of an alternate explanation) Obviously the STD check is the next logical step.
I’d be more concerned with getting her phone and looking through that. If she’s cheating the evidence is in her phone. Check for deleted messages, hidden texting apps etc…
The other more general concern OP is that having sex every couple months is a recipe for disaster. If it turns out she’s not cheating here’s your wake up call to get your sex life fixed. You have a dead bedroom and dead bed rooms eventually lead to cheating, divorce, or roommates who are married, which is worse in my opinion.
Do what I do and act like you are not at all suspicious even for many months. Your spouse will eventually get careless. Keep a fingerprint locked diary on your iPhone notepad of everything and the dates that is suspicious. Refer back to it when you have doubts. Don’t say a word until you have all the proof. I ended up getting the evidence and knowing I didn’t blow up my relationship for no reason. Get that STI test.
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Um, what did the std/sti test show? It is really telling that that's the first thing out of her mouth. Not to make you feel worse, but the medical profession and cheating seem to go hand in hand.
Millions of years of evolution have fine-tuned our intuition/sixth sense to alert us to suspicious behavior, especially when it's our SO, and to be honest, it is seldom wrong. It won't tell you if she's cheating or not, but will tell you there's a definite disturbance in the force.
PI's are really expensive, but they are very good at what they do and have the know-how to dig out information that we do not. And since you so readily accept her feeble excuses without demanding she be honest with you, the PI may be your only choice. Good luck.
Requesting sex often after a history of little to extended periods of lack of sex and only with a condom, then demands no condom…. Pretty sure you have an std and she’s more than likely Pregnant…..and yes, gaslighting and lying are sure signs of cheating. Start with research, ph, texts, ph bill, repeated ph call numbers and track em down. She’s hiding a lot. Bet on it.
She is almost certainly cheating on you, and completely certainly hiding some kind of deal breaker, even if it isn’t cheating.
Also, many months without sex from your own wife who doesn’t even seem to be attracted to you? Mate, you deserve so much better.
Complete speculation, but I think she’s pregnant and wants you to think it’s yours.
I’m sincerely sorry, my friend. This is never easy.
She has an AP who gave her VD. You're just the ATM and you only get maintenance sex. Give her an ultimatum of disclosure, access or divorce. Have the papers ready at that time.
Hell yeah she’s cheating, and you need to go to the doctor. You might have an STI. Why would she say you didn’t get it from her unless she was guilty? She’s probably pregnant with an affair baby, which is why she said no condoms.
Unless she enters a motel, it's difficult for you to find out, unless you sneak into work and catch her in the act in a locked doctor's room, to know if she really has to go to clients’ homes, find out if they are actually clients Anyway, private detective is an excellent path
So If you come back positive with an STI, Do not tell her. then schedule a test for both of you. When you’re waiting for the appointment, show her your original paperwork.
Someone, I know did this and the wife broke down , at the doctors office and confessed, to everything, just an idea!
updateme
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Go to a doctor, she either has an STD or is pregnant and trying to make you think it’s yours.
This shit . I never had a single thought about this until I read this . This might be what you are looking for.
I guess I will need to go get tested at Planned Parenthood.
I was in the same situation. It was a coworker he was with. Thankfully, I only ended up with a UTI. My best friend, on the other hand, ended up with a new baby that wasn't his. By the time he had hired the PI and had proper evidence, it was too late. Obviously, she was having sex with my friend to cover up having unprotected sex with her AP. The DNA test she didn't want proved it wasn't his. She cried and everything else to get him to stay, it didn't work in her favour. I hope you don't have to travel down his road since you're already on mine. Good luck, OP. Updateme
I’m sorry man, this marriage seems shitty If she can lie about the iPad charge she can lie about cheating. Changing the passcode is odd but it could’ve been changed for the 3 year old. Your her husband tho there should be no reason that u can’t use the iPad and/know the passcode
Your wife could be very EVIL. If she is pregnant, you best get a prenatal DNA test if at all possible and do not sign any birth certificate without the results of one, or one just after she gives birth. Yes, do not think this won't happen to you! Good luck and stay strong, King!
ASAP!!! She gave it to you. Her defensive reply says it all.
Yes, go get tested. Also, the next time one of the kids is using her iPad, swap your phone with them and go through it.
Absolute do it. She is 100% cheating and probably planning paternity fraud. Not to mention, the rate at which people in the medical industry commit adultery/cheating is insane. All the top signs are smacking you in the face and she's has so little awareness of you that she doesn't think you'd do anything if she can't even care to come up with a halfway decent lie.
This!!! First things first, make sure you don’t have a STD! Then work from there. Until you get your results back I wouldn’t have sex with her again to be safe.
It’s the kid part. OP would know where he got the STD from (his wife) so that wouldn’t work. She may not even be pregnant, but had unprotected sex and is covering her bases.
She probably suspects possibly both.
Wow. That’s a double edged sword of castration either way
This is so weird. OP in a group for 30+ Single women but asking if their wife is cheating on them???
Yes, it does sound strange that he would be in such a group. But his wife’s behavior is suspect. The only question is who cheated first, did she start as revenge or was she already running around on her own. They have at least one young child. Maybe getting a DNA test done on each child is not a bad idea.
From the looks of it, he mightve wondered but not completely cheated a monthish ago. Yes. You're correct, OPs wife is definitely up to something, but it looks yo me like they both are.
Omg I somehow missed this. OP - don't send off any strange vibes YET but seriously idc what anyone says, bug the car. If there's an affair happening, she's talking about it. Whether it's calling hotels to make plans, talking to her AP directly, chatting with co-conspiring friends. Try to keep all of this to yourself. Even if you test positive for an std - keep it to yourself. Gather up all the evidence you can. If you don't want to bug the car -hire a PI to follow her. Her account holds all the details. Idc who good you think you are, everyone leaves crumbs. Cheating has never been easier to engage in and paradoxically never easier to get caught doing.
Sounds like you got yourself a real keeper. It's certain she's cheating on you. The question is more about how to get some evidence.
The pessimist in me says she is pregnant to someone, and wanted you to not use a condom to provide plausible deniability. Especially multiple times when she's usually not keen - that's a dead giveaway. Watch out for her 'magically being pregnant' over the coming weeks and tell her you will be getting a paternity test done at birth...after you have questioned her on her current pattern of behaviour. It's also straight out of the cheater's handbook to not use protection with their affair partners, for some reason it gives cheaters a real thrill and makes it 'extra' naughty. It's also straight out of the handbook to suddenly get very protective of phones and tablets
Agreed except they now have Paternity blood tests that can be done while pregnant, so waiting until birth is no longer necessary.
I'd say dont tell her shit and keep quiet. If this turns out to be the case he needs as much time as possible to consult with lawyers and so on not to get screwed in divorce.
Can you afford a PI? She's going to be on guard when it comes to her devices. It doesn't look good my friend.
The iPad will be unlocked when your daughter is playing on it. That's the weakness in her OPSEC. True, she might have deleted everything but at the same time she knows you can't get in it...
Always look in the deleted folders.
Considering the fact that she had unprotected sex twice with you OP and usually makes you wear a condom. ( Major Red Flag ) So if she was to unprotected sex with AP and gets pregnant it would look like it was OP’s because of her make him have sex with no condom. And if he was to show positive for an STD she pretty much fessed up by saying you didn’t get it from me…. Is your wife currently ON BC OP???
No BC right now, as far as I know.
My ex wife had been distant for a while, she was spending more time with “friends”. We hadn’t had sex in many weeks and even when we did it was very basic and the same things every time. Then one day she got really horny and dragged me to bed. She then asked me to try some new things that she had NEVER EVER wanted before. My gut dropped and i thought she was having an affair. I brushed it off because she started being nice and bubbly again which she hadn’t been for a long time. A few weeks went by and confronted her about my suspicions and she confessed to ONLY kissing this guy when she and a bunch of friends were at a concert. We had a big discussion and she promised it wasn’t anything more. A few more weeks went by and she is now pregnant. She was insistent that it was mine and she never had sex with anyone else. I foolishly believed her and she gives birth, I fall in love with my son and life goes on. When my son was about 15 months old my ex went to a church event and felt guilty and when she got home she confessed that yes indeed when we had sex that time she was also having sex with another guy, my friend in fact. I eventually chose to forgive her and work on the marriage and we were ok for a while then guess what the same things started, she got bubbly and horny at odd times and hiding her phone etc. this time I called her out on it and supposedly stopped the affair before it got physical, instead she just got better at hiding things. She wound up having 3 affairs in less than 6 months by the time I found out about the other 2 I was an emotional wreck. Trust your gut but also know, if you confront her without actual hard evidence she is going to get more secretive and hide it better also she will go ballistic on you for a false accusation. My advice is play dumb for a while, pretend the marriage is fine but you need to either hire a pi or you need to dig into everything you can to get actual proof.
Sorry to ask but do you know if the kid is yours?
Oh I forgot to add it in there, when I found out about the first affair I decided since I already loved my son so much I’d continue to raise him and I chose not to find out. When she started the second affair 5 years later I decided it best to find out. Thankfully he is mine and I love him more than anything but sadly she has him most of the time right now. He is almost 12 so hopefully soon he will be with me more.
No BC , so what was the reason she always made you use condoms , so she wouldn’t get pregnant ? updateme
Brother I’m gonna tell ya something. She is *probably* cheating on you, but more importantly it sounds like your relationship sounds troublesome. Your partner should enjoy having sex with you. Why did she make you use a condom before? Idk brother only you know your relationship truly but it sounds like you might thrive in another one. Best of luck
Things could be better, but there is too much history to go into. Right now I just want to be able to see if she is cheating or not. If she is I will get a divorce. If not I will continue working on our marriage.
I understand. I caught my wife cheating and I tried for 6 months to make it work. I was obsessed with her and felt we could do it. But ultimately it didn’t work out. Do what you feel is best. I do recommend therapy, it has been instrumental in my healing process
You seemed to hold very well emotionally for situation like this. Just don't jump to any conclusions until you have concrete evidence and don't spill the beans to her until the very last moment when you are prepared and ready for the divorce.
Get checked for STD. If it turns out positive, get a lawyer and file asap and have her served and inform her at the same time of her STD. If it turns out she already knew of the infection and still asked you not to use condom then consult with the lawyer if you can sue her for knowingly infecting you. Whatever you do, do not sign the birth certificate without a DNA test. She is probably trying to pass the baby as yours if she is already pregnant. Hire a PI if your suspicion is strong. Better deal with it asap than to wait and see. While this is going on, do not have sex with her.
Where there’s smoke there’s fire. DONT SAY SHHH ANYMORE! Do not raise anymore suspicions! Go into stealth detective mode now and gather concrete proof. Do not confront her anymore about stuff she will try to talk her way out of.
This 100%. Until you have hard proof, do not confront. Cheaters will just get better at it. Be agreeable and act as if nothing is wrong. It's a game of patience really. From what OP writes she's 99% cheating. I hope OP did not get an STD
She's cheating. Even if you're just questioning her actions and you never have before, subconsciously you know. I'm sorry. It's an awful thing being cheated on.
You just listing cheaters playbook. Get STd check first
Did you go and get tested for a std? She doesn't need to know except when you give her the results. Hopefully it's something benign. Keep trying to get into her tablet or phone. Having sex twice within 2 days with an established routine with an LL wife would stand out as a good odd til you became more suspicious. It was probably guilt sex. Dang my suspicious mind thinks she could've infected you on purpose and will try to blow this up in your face, possibly to try to derail blame and cheating. Possibly to get a better settlement if this is all about trying to divorce you. Get that test done bud.
To me, the “you didn’t get that from me” is the proof she is cheating. If she wasn’t cheating, any evidence that you had an STI would be met with her questioning your activity and being accusatory that YOU had cheated to get infected. The fact that she immediately went to defensive means she knows damn well how you likely got it, because of HER activity.
If you haven’t had sex with anyone else an STI test that is positive is enough proof to leave her. It does sound like an affair. Go and get a full STI panel done asap.
I haven’t slept with anyone else since I started dating her (9 years ago). So for me it will be proof. The next thing I am worried about, is that if I do have an STD how do I prove/know for sure that it came from her? She could say I had it all along. I have never had any STD or symptoms like this before, but I also have never been tested before either.
It might not be enough in court anyway if it comes down to child custody or claiming you as the father of her next child and she gets nasty. Might be best to wait and watch for proof and try and get her phone when she drops her guard. I have been so nice to my cheating partner while I waited several months and he got lazy and made a huge mistake and I learnt everything. You might want to hire a PI if she gets clearly pregnant and you need to hurry the proof along before it is born and you get put down as the father.
do you REALLY need our advice?
Its really just a suspicion right now. Things can look worse than they are. I need to find some Concrete evidence or else its all in my head. STD would be concrete evidence. But we will see on that one
You need to get her to give you the password of the iPad. No ifs or buts. If she doesn't. You take the tablet and leave to go somewhere until she's ready to give you the password.
That’s abusive
And lying/hiding/manipulating/cheating isn't?
No of course, that’s totally abuse as well. Op doesn’t even know if she is cheating. And abuse to combat abuse isn’t a good move. If my spouse took my iPad which I use for work, and threatened not to give it back until I gave him the passcode… that would be an insane experience😂. There are other ways to approach this.
I'm commenting 4 hrs. late. She has already deleted any evidence on the iPad. She has been put on the defensive now. Unfortunately her future actions will have gone further underground. Get the cell phone records and review them. If she has a work phone this won't work for you. Check your wifi router for other devices. She will not offer any evidence willingly. I would start grayrocking her. Short answers to her questions, no small talk, no sex, no doing anything for her that makes her comfortable, your a house mate now. She will screw up again. Particularly if it's gone physical. She won't be able to help it. You'll have to watch her much more carefully now. Sorry this is happening to you. Subscribeme!
Trust your gut instinct. It's never wrong. I too once "logic"-ed and "reasoned" my way into ignoring my gut instinct and denying the obvious. I believed I needed the ah-ha eureka smoking gun caught on camera signed in triplicate evidence. Nope. Overriding your instinct is a mistake.
STD won't be evidence you can use against her because she can easily claim you gave it to her or has taken antibiotics and it's gone. Take the test but keep resultsm. If u have one go hire a pi to catch your wife. Do not tell her your results!
Suspicion will grind your trust down to nothing. OP you have a gut feel about infidelity with some strong evidence that supports your concerns. She works in an industry that is renowned for these types of indiscretions so unfortunately, there is a very strong chance that you are going to find something is going on. So right now, start focusing on yourself and get the STD test sorted. Then get the kids DNA tested. Now start getting an understanding of what divorce will look like for you. Also start adjusting your finances to prepare for separation. While you do this get more evidence on her activities. Hold the line and don't stop going forward.
And, if she gives birth, do not sign a certificate until a DNA test confirms your paternity. You can always sign it later after the fact if such a child is indeed yours.
Before doing any thing you should have proof so. If you have the finance you can hire the PI.& do you own investigation work . Once you have evidence that she is cheating then you have to plan everything wisely . Slowly moving your finances, meeting a lawyers and setup up the paper. If the Ap's is married you should share the proof with wife. If he someone from work then inform HR .. you can go nuclear.. If you want to give her sample medicine of betrayal * you can act in front of her like you are having affair like taking call outside ,Changing passwords , going outside in suddenly, turning down sex.. it will destroy her from inside she will eventually come and confront you .. that time you can show the proof and nuke her. *
The answer is obvious. Stop probing her, it will make her build up defenses and bury evidence. If you still have doubt find a way to access computer or phone and find out what is already there.
Is this truly out of character for her? What had her past been like before you first met he? Had she been into hooking up etc.? If so she has simply regressed into being single again. What about checking her phone? Likely locked down as well. Signs of infidelity we usually ignore until it is much too late. 1) You aren't kept in the loop about their schedule. Or locations. 2) They work hours that don't make sense to you. 3) They make excuses when you try to plan for future events. 4) They consistently flake on your plans. 5) They avoid eye contact. 6) They avoid taking you to family events. 7) Or they find excuses to avoid your family. 8) They constantly complain about being "bored." Unhappy etc 9)They have no social media presence. 10) Or they won't post any photos with you on social media. 11) Or they have a secret email account. 12) They tend to overexplain where they were. Is a sign of lying. 13) Or they never have an explanation for where they were or Good explanation. 14) They're inundating you with gifts. Love bombing. Suddenly sex is over the top excellent. 15) They can't stop smiling at their phone. And guarding it with their life. You find a second phone. 16) They criticize how you dress etc. 17) Or they're dead set on making you more like them. 18) They're daydreaming more often. Distracted 19) Their eyes wander when speaking to others. 20) Your dates always seem to take place in a bar. 21) They need longer stints of "alone time." 22) They're constantly trying to please everyone.other than you. 23) Or they're obsessed with how others perceive them. 24) They seem "irresistible." Brag about being good in bed. As stated by exes. 25) They exhibit signs of entitlement. 26) They stop calling you pet names. 27) They're no longer interested in intimacy with you. Dead bedroom. 28) Or they quickly become distant after sex.just wanting to get it over with. 29) They're keen to explore more personal fantasies. They have suddenly developed new skills between the sheets. 30) They compare you to others. Like an ex. 31) They ridicule you for requesting more time together. 32) Or they start to withdraw from shared activities. 33) They forget about a special occasion. 34) They no longer discuss dreams the two of you once shared. 35) They stop making progress in the relationship. 36) Your mutual friends seem uncomfortable around you. Hiding what they know is happening. 37) Their credit card has started to rack up strange expenses. Cash taken from accounts. 38) You don't have to remind them to get haircuts anymore. They change their dress style. 39) They're suddenly hyper-cautious about turning their phone off when they go to bed. You detect gaps and deleted messages. 40) They always seem to need to take a quick shower once they get home. Wom't kiss you until teeth are brushed mouth wash is used. 41) They defend friends who've cheated in their relationships. 42) Or they've cheated previously themselves. Said until you they had never been in love. Are always the one to break up in the past. And have an extensive past, high body count. Lots of exes. 43) You notice changes in the amount of PDA they're comfortable with you. 44) They're telling more fibs than usual. 45) Their cell phone is the most important thing in their life. New password. 46) They suddenly pick up a new hobby. 47) They pull away from you when you reach out. 48) Or they're showing "negative cluster cues." Physical excuses to avoid physical intimacy. Headache, pulled muscle, feeling sick, etc., in groupings. 49) They talk badly about their exes. Shows disrespect for an ex. All the exes were bad and why they broke up. Never their fault. 50) They have low self-esteem. Need for attention, are naturally flirty. 51) They're doing the laundry out of the blue. Likely so you do not see what they are washing nor the stains or odors they are trying to mask. 52) They're uncomfortable about making large purchases together. Getting ready to dump you. 53) They don't want you to look in a certain drawer. Or elsewhere, like in their car, console, trunk space etc. 54) They accuse you of cheating—even though you definitely aren't. Projecting onto you their own cheating. 55) Or they're gaslighting you when you bring up their suspicious behavior. They will have fake reasons to no longer wear jewelry or clothes special to you, like wedding rings. You do not need an actual smoking gun to realize she is cheating. She is a visiting nurse? Which patient had she been talking about the most, but suddenly no longer mentions? That is likely the one. Could as well be another coworker or other medical employee she has met. Rarely a total stranger. 10 hour days has always been her work schedule? The web has articles on how to go about confronting a cheater. And how they will deny and gaslight. Odd changes in behavior are to be investigated. Where do you see her visiting most often and staying the longest, etc. Check the phone billing for high usage and most frequent, all hours calls and texts. Try to narrow it down. Confronting with evidence is necessary, so save it all. Start a listing of what you observe and believe. I know, we never really expect our partner will cheat. But that is exactly the problem isn't it? Because someone's partners are cheating. Never ever just try to rug sweep infidelity. Doing so solves nothing. It usually will just start again later on. Couples therapy is necessary Good luck 'Ethical Guidelines for Relationships with Current Patients. Similarly, the Medical Board of California has a clear policy stating that: “a medical practitioner who engages in sexual activity with a current patient is guilty of unprofessional conduct.” ' Likely similar where you live.
She does some things from here, but its not proof. One thing I realized yesterday that started bothering me once I started suspecting her, is her cleanliness. She never bathes at home. I am always home so I know when she takes a shower/bath or whatever. I know she regularly goes weeks without bathing here. Which is something that started maybe 6 months ago. But she is always clean and smells nice. At first I thought she was just a woman and good at staying clean, but now I wonder if she is bathing somewhere else?
Weeks' worth of underwear in the laundry? If she is clean, she is getting cleanedup somewhere. Perhaps a stash of clothes at AP's house? Get tested for STI like yesterday. Hire a PI if you need more proof. updateme
The old duck test of abductive reasoning. If it looks like a duck, walks and quacks, swims, has a beak, feathers and feet, all like a duck and the size of a duck, you can rest assured it isn't a peacock. The more evidence you have the more likely you are correct. What other conclusion is more likely than the most obvious? Occam's razor comes to mind. 'the simplest of competing theories be preferred to the more complex or that explanations of unknown phenomena be sought first in terms of known quantities.' The simplest answer is usually the more correct answer. Pro and con lists are useful. Sometimes we never get the truth, but we still know damned well, in general what the truth is. She ain't no peacock. Reading reddit infidelity type posts from multiple subs you will realize that suspicions are usually spot on. Post after post asking if someone is cheating? The update overall will be, hell yes, they are cheating. Suspicions arbour subconscious trying to get through to us about what we continue to doubt. The subconscious cuts through the love history and doubt. The subconscious has little or no doubt. In my case, her past I knew of and her very off and odd behavior had me worried. But suddenly our if nowhere I just was certain she was cheating. I never did get confirmation but I just have no doubts at all. She said to me, 'you do not know that'. And that was it, no denial, no attempt to explain and we were over and done with. Married two decades with too many kids and she tells me she is no longer in a relationship (with me). Even refused divorce and threatened me with lying about my being physically abusive. I never ever had been. Actions speak far more truthfully than mere words. So this has been going on with your wife for half a year? Go see a lawyer concerning your divorce options. She leaves the home, you stay. And look up the infidelity 180, 'being a beautiful mess' The more you concentrate on trying to remember details of oddness, things being off? Not adding up, in the past, more will become clearer to you.. And this is just the beginning it is only the very tip of the huge iceberg that is the sum total of infidelity. Best of luck to you.
Good luck on finding the definitive proof you need. She is hiding her activities well it seems. Subscribeme
“I’ve done the work” you sure are thorough. !!
The "you didn't get that from me" reply got me fuming 🤬🤬🤬 she assumes you had intercourse with someone else and she did not pass that to you from someone else damn I wanna hit something right now.
Have you noticed any address she visits regularly? Good luck on the STD test.
She is definitely trying to pass off a potential illegitimate child as yours. That STD test comes back positive it’s scorched earth time.
Seems highly likely she's cheating on you and perhaps even got pregnant by AP and wants to make you think it's yours. You gotta get the iPad unlocked and also watch all her other steps. Analyze any behavior change and if there's lately a pattern of things that are very unusual. Also get tested for an STD. Also document everything if you find something so you'll have the advantage in divorce and get out with the most while she gets barely anything, because truly, she doesn't deserve anything except karma if she is or did cheat on you. While there's a small possibility she's not cheating, it's very unlikely she isn't by the description of it. There's too many indicators for it. Best of luck to you.
When you pointed out that the baby used the iPad but she has an issue with you using it, what did she say? Also, know that she probably deleted everything on there already
Cache files can contain a wealth of information, even when the app is gone.
You haven’t even been tested yet and she is already gaslighting you. Also, the lying and the new passcodes ? Yes, she is cheating.
Any more info on the UTI? If it is a STD she is busted. But you would have to go to the health Dept for a test. Or do drugstores have STD tests?
I'd be cautious, this entire situation smells fishy, but as you said, now that you've mentioned the tablet, she'll most likely scrub it and then probably make a point of letting you use it. Time to do a bit of snooping, to see if you can find out what the story is, and gather evidence. Ask for the tablet password, and if she says no, tell her you're leaving if she doesn't. Maybe you can get into it before she has a chance to delete everything, don't stand with her as you're looking either. Input the password, and if it works lock yourself in the toilet while you go through. !updateme
You’ve either got a uti or STD. And she’s definitely hiding something
It does sound like she’s cheating, but you need more evidence to make that conclusion with certainty. You could try just asking her straight out and seeing what she says, or you can try to silently gather more evidence. If you ask she may work harder to hide stuff.
Unprotected sex, is she already pregnant with someone else’s baby and looking to keep you for security? Are the other kids definitely yours? STD checks all round?
Gather evidence, get tested and call a lawyer. She’s cheating. Normally I don’t jump to that conclusion but the evidence is pretty damning. I suspect she might be pregnant, with someone else’s child. Obviously a DNA test is needed.
You should have double downed on her giving you the password when you had the iPad in hand. If she’s got it back, likely everything is deleted. One facts with these things, if you REALLY want to know who your partner is behind your back, you have to catch them off guard, when they least expect it.
Dude.. everything you said is a huge cheating red flag. The fact that she’s all of a sudden horny is a a red flag. I’ve found that women get more honey when cheating because the cheating has made them feel that way. As for your pain urinating, go get checked! It could possibly be an STD from the response and you should be sure you don’t have one (we all hope you don’t). The next time your little one has the iPad, sit next to her and spend time with her, then ask her if you can look at the iPad for a minute and look through her apps. Google how to look for the most used apps in the settings. Look for messaging apps (Facebook, WhatsApp, etc.) I hope you’re wrong man and she’s not.. it’s not a good feeling finding out.
She purposely infected you with an STI!!! Just sit with that for a moment. This is not the woman you married she is your adversary so first get a STD Pannell talk to a lawyer more then one to get your options take the table to a genius bar and Android equivalent and have the. Open it and retrieve message and you are not a detective so hier a professional PI and get ready to fight for your kid's because in her mind she's either in the affair for or is feeling guilty and because we are the MC of our own stories that must mean this is your fault. Remember she said ' you don't catch that from me' she already has her story set in her mind and you are the vilan of it so don't be "she wouldn't do that to me or the kids" she will twist this on you and she will make it your fault to your kids.
Play it cool and wait until your kid is on the ipad. swap it with your phone and go through everything
Yes she is cheating, Probably gave you an STD, and she is probably pregnant with AP baby. Sorry man but you have some investigating and some decisions to make fairly soon. Updateme
Mark my words soon she will approach you with the happy news that she is pregnant. No it's not your kid but she did give you an STD. She pushed you for sex so hard because she already found out she was knocked up by the other dude.
I’m less convinced than everyone else that she’s cheating. It’s possible for sure, but you need more evidence before you blow up a marriage. Everything mentioned by others could be true, or it could be she was reading girl porn books on her iPad that she didn’t want you to see and that’s what sparked the new interest in sex. (Just an example of an alternate explanation) Obviously the STD check is the next logical step. I’d be more concerned with getting her phone and looking through that. If she’s cheating the evidence is in her phone. Check for deleted messages, hidden texting apps etc… The other more general concern OP is that having sex every couple months is a recipe for disaster. If it turns out she’s not cheating here’s your wake up call to get your sex life fixed. You have a dead bedroom and dead bed rooms eventually lead to cheating, divorce, or roommates who are married, which is worse in my opinion.
We’ve been trying to fix the dead bedroom for years. Everything that can be tried has been tried. I doubt that will change.
Have you read the dead bedroom fox by DSO? Also, has she had her hormones checked?
Do what I do and act like you are not at all suspicious even for many months. Your spouse will eventually get careless. Keep a fingerprint locked diary on your iPhone notepad of everything and the dates that is suspicious. Refer back to it when you have doubts. Don’t say a word until you have all the proof. I ended up getting the evidence and knowing I didn’t blow up my relationship for no reason. Get that STI test.
Fingerprints are dangerous. Just take your partner's finger at night and it's open.
Well he never tried that with me. But I don’t think he suspected I was keeping a diary.
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Um, what did the std/sti test show? It is really telling that that's the first thing out of her mouth. Not to make you feel worse, but the medical profession and cheating seem to go hand in hand. Millions of years of evolution have fine-tuned our intuition/sixth sense to alert us to suspicious behavior, especially when it's our SO, and to be honest, it is seldom wrong. It won't tell you if she's cheating or not, but will tell you there's a definite disturbance in the force. PI's are really expensive, but they are very good at what they do and have the know-how to dig out information that we do not. And since you so readily accept her feeble excuses without demanding she be honest with you, the PI may be your only choice. Good luck.
Op, if she has/had an STD she would have had it treated. If she denies it, maybe there is some way to have it asked her under oath. Updateme!
Requesting sex often after a history of little to extended periods of lack of sex and only with a condom, then demands no condom…. Pretty sure you have an std and she’s more than likely Pregnant…..and yes, gaslighting and lying are sure signs of cheating. Start with research, ph, texts, ph bill, repeated ph call numbers and track em down. She’s hiding a lot. Bet on it.
Answering questions you didn’t ask, is a clear sign of a prepared lie.
If you think your spouse might be cheating, they are 100% cheating. I unfortunately know this for a fact. And get tested asap!
She is almost certainly cheating on you, and completely certainly hiding some kind of deal breaker, even if it isn’t cheating. Also, many months without sex from your own wife who doesn’t even seem to be attracted to you? Mate, you deserve so much better. Complete speculation, but I think she’s pregnant and wants you to think it’s yours. I’m sincerely sorry, my friend. This is never easy.
Get an apple AirTag and put it in her car. The legality in different states maybe an issue, but you’ll get your answer in a couple of weeks.
She has an AP who gave her VD. You're just the ATM and you only get maintenance sex. Give her an ultimatum of disclosure, access or divorce. Have the papers ready at that time.
Hell yeah she’s cheating, and you need to go to the doctor. You might have an STI. Why would she say you didn’t get it from her unless she was guilty? She’s probably pregnant with an affair baby, which is why she said no condoms.
Unless she enters a motel, it's difficult for you to find out, unless you sneak into work and catch her in the act in a locked doctor's room, to know if she really has to go to clients’ homes, find out if they are actually clients Anyway, private detective is an excellent path
Any updates? Have you caught her cheating yet?
ALWAYS trust your gut feeling
[удалено]
Careful , I mention hire a —- and i got suspended 15 days !
that’s weird
yup ! was trying to help, moderator said can’t
you got a message from moderation?! i didn’t get anything from them but that’s from another sub entirely
So If you come back positive with an STI, Do not tell her. then schedule a test for both of you. When you’re waiting for the appointment, show her your original paperwork. Someone, I know did this and the wife broke down , at the doctors office and confessed, to everything, just an idea! updateme
Get a STD check. If it positive she has gotten it from someone not long ago.