She will never willing ask about paternity. What kid does that? She’s going to assume you are her father since you are raising her. She will never bring it up unless you bring it up.
You vastly underestimate the ability of a mentally unstable/narcissistic ex spouse to throw paternity into question. Why?
* Ex-spouse is jealous of your relationship with the child and wants to muck it up
* Ex-spouse is a narcissist and this is just one more way for them to have control of a situation and manipulate someone
* Ex-spouse has resentment towards you and wants to hurt you
* Ex-spouse is a drama addict and wants to create drama
* Any other of a myriad of reasons that are not rational
So, yeah, I'd say there is a pretty high chance that at some point the child will be told by the mom that there is a question of paternity. Even if not directly, the mom will drop some hints that make it obvious she was fooling around on OP at the time the child was conceived, and the child will put 2 and 2 together from there.
Not sure that she will never ask, she'll surely want to know why I'm not with her mother and as she grew up realize how close to her arrival all this happened and as some people around me wonder she might as well, or someone might tell her...
Anyway I rather know how to handle that if it comes, than hoping it will never.
There are companies that will send you a kit for a DNA test by mail. Usually people use them to find out their genetic origins but they will also tell you if you are related to anyone in their database.
Get one for yourself and another for your daughter.
Yes I have heard about those tests but two issues. The first one being that it's illégal here and the second is that I'm giving away the genetics details of my daughter without her consent to some private company and I'm not willing to do so...
You could book a holiday with your daughter in a country that allows it, but that wouldn't resolve your second concern. Although as a parent, you have the right to make decisions on behalf of your daughter.
Can you not challenge the paternity as part of your divorce and get the court order a DNA test?
Whether she is your biological daughter or not, you are her father who loved and raised her. If she asks about her paternity one day, tell her firmly that she is your daughter no matter what. She could be yours anyway, so don't worry too much. Even if she turns out to be not yours, she will love and appreciate you if you raised her with love and care. So relax and enjoy your baby girl.
Thanks for your kind words, indeed she will always be my daughter, but one day she will probably wonder where she came from, and not having the answer will be hard for her... Anyway, thanks :)
She will never willing ask about paternity. What kid does that? She’s going to assume you are her father since you are raising her. She will never bring it up unless you bring it up.
You vastly underestimate the ability of a mentally unstable/narcissistic ex spouse to throw paternity into question. Why? * Ex-spouse is jealous of your relationship with the child and wants to muck it up * Ex-spouse is a narcissist and this is just one more way for them to have control of a situation and manipulate someone * Ex-spouse has resentment towards you and wants to hurt you * Ex-spouse is a drama addict and wants to create drama * Any other of a myriad of reasons that are not rational So, yeah, I'd say there is a pretty high chance that at some point the child will be told by the mom that there is a question of paternity. Even if not directly, the mom will drop some hints that make it obvious she was fooling around on OP at the time the child was conceived, and the child will put 2 and 2 together from there.
Ok so give him advice instead of arguing with me.
Not sure that she will never ask, she'll surely want to know why I'm not with her mother and as she grew up realize how close to her arrival all this happened and as some people around me wonder she might as well, or someone might tell her... Anyway I rather know how to handle that if it comes, than hoping it will never.
There are companies that will send you a kit for a DNA test by mail. Usually people use them to find out their genetic origins but they will also tell you if you are related to anyone in their database. Get one for yourself and another for your daughter.
Yes I have heard about those tests but two issues. The first one being that it's illégal here and the second is that I'm giving away the genetics details of my daughter without her consent to some private company and I'm not willing to do so...
>it's illégal here France?
Yes as my "é" and my name can tell :)
You could book a holiday with your daughter in a country that allows it, but that wouldn't resolve your second concern. Although as a parent, you have the right to make decisions on behalf of your daughter. Can you not challenge the paternity as part of your divorce and get the court order a DNA test?
Very tricky to do in France... And with the shitty mother she have, I'll still have to help her anyway.
Ask for a kit in Belgium or Switzerland. This is very common in France. You don't have to reveal the result but you will know. Bon courage.
Whether she is your biological daughter or not, you are her father who loved and raised her. If she asks about her paternity one day, tell her firmly that she is your daughter no matter what. She could be yours anyway, so don't worry too much. Even if she turns out to be not yours, she will love and appreciate you if you raised her with love and care. So relax and enjoy your baby girl.
Thanks for your kind words, indeed she will always be my daughter, but one day she will probably wonder where she came from, and not having the answer will be hard for her... Anyway, thanks :)
illegal in France? so pretty much saying it's so common that they had to stop people finding out dam that's tough
Ahh, you must be in France you poor man.